Every time she closed her eyes, the only thing she could see was his look when she told him about the baby. Her subconscious would make her live over and over again that terrible moment when she realized she had been right to be afraid to tell him because he blamed her for their child's death, just like she had been blaming herself all those years. She had never told anyone about her accident. She was too ashamed for that. Her selfishness took away the precious love they had for each other.

After every nap or night she would wake up all sweaty from that terrible nightmare. And even though she had the same nightmare night after night, it would get to her guts every single time.

That morning, again, she woke up panting and sweating from her nightmare. She had never seen Andy again after their hard talk. She was not even mad at him for leaving her, just disappointed. She felt guilty for keeping all that to herself for years just because she couldn't come to terms with her behavior and what it had caused. How selfish of her once again. Though physically her wounds were healing pretty well, mentally she was a wreck. Her past was catching up with her.

Someone knocked. Her children coming back at last? She had gotten no news for a few days now… the team was still working on Emily's backpack and had said they'd call if they had anything new. Deep inside she knew it couldn't be, though she couldn't help but be hopeful that this endless wait would end now.

Sharon was getting better at walking around by herself although she was aware that her body couldn't take too much at once. She had to keep it slow and it was the hardest thing to do. She finally got to the door, her arm attached to her chest and the purple-turning-yellow bruises on her face still very visible.

She opened the door and it was a shock for both of them. Sharon couldn't believe the identity of her visitor. And her visitor couldn't believe how physically marked she was.

- Lieutenant Provenza, what a surprise!

- For both of us! I'm sorry to bother you, Captain.

He was taken aback, barely remembering what he was doing there. He had heard Flynn talk about her situation, the wounds she had, but never in a lifetime he thought it was that bad. Before he saw it with his own eyes, he couldn't imagine that annoying FID Captain getting herself in that kind of trouble in the first place. Maybe, just maybe, he had misjudged her a little bit.

- Please come in, Lieutenant! What brings you here! I'm sure you didn't volunteer to pay me a courtesy visit, she teased with a grin.

- Indeed, I'm here for professional purposes, he indulged. I'm still happy to see that you're feeling better and walking on your own! Lieutenant Flynn told us how injured you were on the first days.

Sharon's heart pinched to the mention of his name.

- Yes, things weren't easy but I'm slowly getting back on track. Lieutenant… she paused. Any news from my children? I haven't heard from you in a week!

- That's the meaning of my visit! We found them Sharon!

- Oh my god! Finally! I can't believe it! Are you sure?

- I'm positive! We have them in our offices, they're currently hanging around with Buzz whose technology skills are really impressive to them!

- How are they? Are they hurt or something? By the way, where's Jack?

She was beyond excited and her questions were asked in a rush. She needed to know everything at once, suddenly forgetting everything else.

- They are fine, don't worry. Why don't you go put on something a little fresher and I'll drive you to them.

She left the room feeling a little self-conscious, she hadn't realized she was still wearing her pajamas. She came back a few minutes later wearing more appropriate clothes.

The drive had been very quiet. She was caught up in her thoughts, beyond excited and emotional at the idea of finally being reunited with her babies.

The sight of them three jumping into each other's arms wasn't disappointing, even for Provenza who pretended having a sudden allergy attack to secretly hide a tear ready to fall down his cheek. None of the Major Crimes members had ever seen a more touching reunion between a family. The least they could say was that it brought them all a different point of view concerning the FID Captain they initially knew as terribly annoying, cold, distant, bitchy even. There was nothing annoying or bossy about her hugging her children fully, still carrying the marks of her fight with her husband. The last two weeks had been stressful, because two children missing is always an intense investigation. But when those children belonged to a fellow member of the Police Department, the pressure was even worse and it got more difficult to put one's emotions aside. Everyone was relieved and delighted that this investigation would get its happy ending although the suspect was missing.

That's when Provenza offered to drive them back home that Sharon realized Andy's absence. She would have loved for him to drive her back with her two children. In her wildest dreams they would even share a kiss or two, holding hands across the two front seats because, oh god, she needed that right now. It was impossible, she knew it, but it didn't prevent her from craving for it. She was longing for him again although their last talk hadn't ended well. She didn't even know if they were still on good terms after he walked out of her apartment a week ago. He left her with no news and it confirmed her worst fears: he blamed her for her behavior, for lying to him all these years, maybe even for killing the fruit of their union.

Finally reaching the door, her babies were more than happy to be back home but they were confused too, she hadn't explained anything about her injuries yet and their dad was nowhere to be found since he left them at a gas station back in Las Vegas. In a few minutes she would have to break their heart and tell them about their dad while trying to spare them the sordid details.

The kids stepped into the apartment, running to the couch after dropping their backpacks in the entrance. When Sharon was about to go in as well, Provenza reached for her shoulder with a gentle pressure, letting her know there was something else.

- Captain…

- Yes? Is there anything else I need to know?

- I'm afraid so… Your kids were left at a gas station but Jack disappeared and we have no clue yet about where he could possibly be.

- Yes I know that, Lieutenant.

- What you don't know is: he left an envelope to the shop assistant. It contained a hand-written letter for you and… some pictures.

- What about them? she said sensing that it was really bad.

- Those pictures show your children with a gun on their temple… and in the back, he basically threats to kill your children if you try anything against him. According to witnesses he was seriously drunk and armed. Captain, he is dangerous, way more than we initially thought. His threats are to take very seriously. He's under the influence of alcohol and possibly drugs too according to the guy behind the counter. He described him as perturbed and very sweaty, irritable even. Listen, we now have your children safe but he could come back. You need to think this through and let us know what you wanna do about this. Meanwhile, you're gonna get all the protection we have to make sure you're safe.

Sharon barely managed to say thank you. She was speechless, not quite believing the words that had just come out of the Lieutenant's mouth. Jack was no longer the man she married. How terrible to imagine what could have happened if they hadn't found them on time. He was out of control and she no longer thought their fight was a one-time thing.

- Sharon…

The sudden use of her name instead of her rank surprised her, she probably looked very disturbed for the Lieutenant to call her like that.

- I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have told you now, it's been a long day for you…

She schooled her features, realizing she just gave away too much of her emotions.

- No, it's okay Lieutenant. I like having all the facts. I'm just gonna need some time to think about it and process the whole thing. Thank you for everything!

The evening had been exhausting, yet every bit as amazing because, finally, she had her children safe with her. Knowing that a patrol car was just outside of her building was even better for her to feel in control and face the new information she got from the lieutenant.

They didn't take the news too bad, they were probably already aware of their dad being a little weird lately. Poor of them, they were so tolerant with such a crap dad. What an epic fail. Since her youngest years, all she could dream of for her life was to have her own beautiful family with a fantastic husband that would be marvelous with their babies. In her early 20's, she thought she had finally found that man, well after the loss of Andy's baby, she hadn't expected to find anyone attracted to her ever again so he was her new hope for a beautiful story to end well this time. And here they were, Jack missing after a brutal fight between them, she was injured and her children were kidnapped. She wouldn't have believed it if anyone had told her back in her 20's that this attractive man, full of manners, would one day turn into such a bad person.

She had to stop hoping for a love life for herself. She needed to focus on her children because apparently she didn't know how to pick the right man and make him happy. Somehow she wasn't born with that skill although it hurt to realized her dream would never come true. Even with Andy whom she thought was the love of her life, she had managed to destroy everything and now it was too late, he was mad at her, blaming her for leaving him with no explanation and worse, having killed their unborn baby.

That night, while her kids were already fast asleep in their little beds, Sharon was alone on the couch, laying quiet, her eyes randomly staring at the ceiling. It was such a full day that her brain was looping through everything, rewatching the events, analyzing them. She was definitely worried and mostly lost when it came to anything related to Jack. Her bearings were gone. She didn't know him anymore, she couldn't anticipate his reactions as she used to do before all this. What was she gonna do about it? She had to protect her children from their own father. She felt miserable, her legendary pragmatism failing her and leaving no option to think of except burry her face into a pillow and close her eyes to forget about the life she was currently living. If only sleep could help. As soon as she closed her eyes the only thing she could see was the look in his eyes when he pushed her in the stairs and that sensation of imminent danger filling her. It was a nightmare from which she couldn't wake up.

She suddenly remembered she needed to use the bathroom and stood up in slow motions. Her eyes came across her phone, laid on the coffee table. Andy. She still hadn't heard from him and probably never would. It wringed her heart. Part of her physically hurt because she needed him more than ever while the other part felt resilient, desperate and discouraged, not willing to hope for any kind improvement between them anymore.