Note: I got the idea to use italics for the "intrusive thoughts." This is something I personally relate to, it's like there's another voice in your head, telling you all these things. And what else can you do but believe them? Oof, that's a downer. Anyways, I don't personally ship Sans and Grillby, and that doesn't go with my personal storyline, but I've got nothing against it. Sorry this notes long and sorry if the chapters are short, i'm trying to work on making them longer! Thanks for reading.

When they made it out back, Grillby didn't hesitate, but knelt in the snow and wrapped Sans in a hug.

"wha- grillbz, why are you-"

"If you won't talk, Sans," Grillby let go so he could look Sans in the eyes, "This is the only way I can try to help. You're worrying me, and I want to help."

"eh, it's not like i deserve that," he replied offhandedly, then he realized what he said and tried to backtrack with a joke.

idiot, idiot, idiot.

Grillby held up a hand and he trailed off weakly, averting his gaze to the snow under his feet. "So, this is where your mind is going?" Grillby asked, "Your mind is telling you things like this?"

"i- i-" he shoved his hands into his pockets, "i really don't want to talk about this, g."

i can't tell him this...

"If you don't, I can't help you," Grillby pointed out, "And, you won't feel better. I WANT you to feel better."

"well- well, maybe i don't want to!" Sans snapped, "maybe i'm supposed to feel like this to pay for the things i've done wrong, to pay for the things i didn't do! to feel pain nowhere near as what i've caused other people. now that you hear this, do you 'really' still care, grillby? still think i deserve to 'feel better?' "

Grillby looked away, "Sans, I don't know what you've done in the past, but the you right now doesn't have to feel like this."

Sans froze, then started to back away as his words and Grillby's set in. "grillbz- i- i didn't mean to snap at ya," he felt a flood of guilt.

i'm only making it worse, i'm hurting him, and all he's done is help me.

"geez, i shouldn't have told you these things. what is wrong with me?..."

"Sans?"

"it's ok, g," Sans gave a pained smile, "i think i have to go now anyway. maybe i'll see you tomorrow."

"Wait! What do you mean-"

But Sans had teleported away yet again.

HP: 0.7/ 01

Sans teleported directly on top of his bed, flopping down without bothering to take off his snow covered clothes.

"gosh-" he mumbled into his pillow, "what the heck is wrong with me?"

He could feel tears leaking from his eyes but he didn't care, nobody was home but him. And crying would only cement the self hating thoughts, would only make them stronger.

pitiful, just pitiful.

"why am i the only monster who can't be strong?" He covered his head with his arms, "i know i'm not the only one who knows how weak i really am."

He rolled over onto his back, counting on his fingers the facts he had heard from both his mind and real life.

lazy. weak. crybaby. useless. stupid. failure. incompetent. selfish. trash.

'ha,' He thought humorlessly, 'and that's only the ones i've heard people finally admit about me.'

He sighed quietly, "i just want to sleep without nightmares for once, please." Then he rolled back over and tried to go to sleep, not realizing his bandages were beginning to soak through.

HP: 0.5/01