Alphys flipped through the pages of the psychology book, distressed at the lack of information about self harm.
"Oh..." she bemoaned, pushing up her glasses that had begun to slide down her nose, "At this rate, I won't be sure how to help Sans if he really IS hurting himself. Gee, I can't even keep from hating myself sometimes, how am I supposed to keep someone as stubborn as Sans from hating himself?..."
She stood, setting the book down with a sigh, "Guess I should check on him anyway."
She walked over to the door leading to the room he was in, then carefully cracked it open, "Sans?..."
She was greeted by the sight of Sans sitting on the cot, broken down in tears and muttering to himself, seemingly not knowing she was there, so she kept quiet and tried to listen. Maybe this could teach her something so she could help him better.
"i'm sorry, papyrus, it's my fault, "she heard him half sob, "you're going to die over and over and over... i can't even protect you. not- not even from myself."
Alphys leaned a little closer, brow furrowed with concern.
"i'm an idiot, an idiot," he almost laughed as he held his head in his hands, "guess my bud was right. worthless for anything but hurting and keeping this stupid game going," he began repeating words under his breath, digging his fingers into his skull, and Alphys could hardly hear. failure? burden? No... He couldn't be talking about himself...
She leaned even more forwards and managed to tumble inside the room, causing Sans to ping her soul blue in a slight panic.
"W-w-w-wait!" She shouted, "It's just m-me!"
When he recognized her, he released her, looking away as the lights in his eyes disappeared.
"sorry," he mumbled, as if not even trying to speak, "you s'prised me."
"It's okay," she stammered awkwardly, "I j-just came to see how you were doing."
"physically or mentally?" He asked darkly.
"Uh-" Alphys was caught off guard by this, "B-both I suppose."
"i'm fine," he shrugged nonchalantly, though he wouldn't look at her.
"B-but..." she wondered if she should confront him about what he had been saying to himself, "S-sans..."
"you heard me didn't ya?" He asked dully.
"I-I don't-"
Sans chuckled, "i can tell by the look on your face that your answer is yes. listen, don't worry bout it. i'm fine."
"Th-th-that didn't sound like someone who's f-fine!" Alphys objected, "Are you h-having nightmares or something about Papyrus dying? What did you m-mean about it being 'your fault?' "
Sans eyesockets darkened even more, if that was possible, "don't worry about me, doc. just drop it. sides, you're probably not the one with the best mental state for this."
Alphys blanched, trying to hide her shaking claws, "I'm- I don't-"
i just have to hurt everyone don't i?
Sans sighed, "sorry. don't know why i said that. i just keep screwing up, huh?"
"Don't say that ab-b-b-bout yourself," she tried to drop what he had said, "You haven't done anything wrong."
She couldn't miss the way he flinched at that.
she has no idea how wrong she is. ain't her fault though, it's all mine.
"A-anyway," she changed the subject, "I should p-probably make sure you're still st-stable."
"knock yourself out," i don't deserve it, he mumbled, unmoving as she bustled around, checking his HP and bandages.
HP: 0.5/0.95