The pain was excruciating...He had nowhere to go...He was sure he wouldn't make it...Why didn't he die already, he asked himself every minute, every second. At some point, he dropped on his knees, his legs not holding him any longer, and thought this was it, finally...Time to rest...Time to put an end to all his misery...No...Not really...He would have to pay for his evil deeds in the other life...
But he woke up still in this world, the way he did that morning. On a comfortable bed, a cross hanging on the wall above his head.
Butters opened his eyes slowly and stayed there for a while, until he considered he had been there for long enough. Although he had nothing to do, it would be inconsiderate from him to stay in his bed all day long.
He had a shower. He didn't have breakfast because he had woken up almost at lunch time; he would wait. He did the chores instead: dusted the old library, careful with the Tegridy jar in a corner, vacuumed the wooden floor and the carpet, then made lunch. That was the deal: he stayed and took care of the house. His host, after all, was getting old and started to need help. He deserved it, also. Butters was afraid helping with the chores wasn't enough payment for what he had done for him and hoped God would reward him fairly...
Father Maxi showed up at the usual time, after giving mass, and found the table (a small table with just two chair, the way it had been for so many decades but now he had the company) served.
"Oh, Butters, you made steamed ham, bless your soul..." He cheerfully said.
"I know you like it, Father." Butters smiled, and sat once the other was in his place.
"You didn't have to wait for me to start eating."
"I wanted to. I don't mind waiting."
"Then let us eat. 'Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both'. This smells really God, all right!" Yes, both of them were dying to start eating, but first they blessed the food. Only when they were finished, they started eating.
"This is really good! You have a way with cooking, I've always told you..." Father Maxi complimented the young man. It wasn't until a while later that he realized that Butters had barely touched his food.
"...I heard you screaming in your sleep again last night..." The priest muttered.
"...Yes...I...had a dream of my father..." Butters replied, his gaze lost in the ham.
"Oh..."
"He was looking at me from above, the way he used to, all rotten—the way he must be by now...A maggot was sticking out his nostril and all...And he told me—he told me: 'Butters, how dare you kill me? You're grounded for eternity in Hell!'"
"It was just a bad dream, my child..." Father Maxi said after seeing the look on his face as he said that.
"I have had that dream too often to be just a dream..." Butters replied, shaking his head gently. "I...I'm going to Hell, Father...I have no forgiveness..."
"Many saints, if not all, came from a life of sin."
"I am a murderer, Father. The Ten Commandments say 'honor your father and mother' and 'do not commit murder', and I broke both..."
"Ever heard of Saint Alessandro Serenelli, who killed the girl he tried to rape when he was young and was forgiven by the victim herself and converted?"
Butters smiled. Converted, just like him, in a way...
"...You have been too good to me, Father..." He said, touching his hands distractedly. "...I thought this was the end when you showed up, like an angel...You saved me, brought me here when I collapsed at the gates of the cemetery...You helped me heal my arms and hid me from everyone...You didn't have to..."
"You really thought I could leave you there, wounded and alone, with that burden on your shoulders? We are friends, remember?"
"I did such things to my friends..."
"Jesus hanged out with criminals, prostitutes, the worst kind. He saw there is good in everyone. That is what I believe in."
"But look at me, Father...Look at this..." Butters only had to raise a hand and the lights in the room and the television signal started to flicker. "There is no good in me..."
"You are too hard on yourself, Butters." Father Maxi said. "Our encounter was surely the will of God and believe me when I say that there are no coincidences. Your life was saved that day for a reason. It has value. You just have to keep figuring it out. In the meantime, you'll be safe in here with me. I don't care what you are. As I said, it was God who gave you such power, and He surely did it for a good reason. You have such unique ability because He knew only you would do something great with it."
He smiled and he managed to make Butters smile. Oh, how he wished he had been closer to him with the years! He wouldn't have bottled up so many feelings, he would have had someone, just one person, to share his worries with and tell him he was not the wuss everyone thought he was...But he believed Father Maxi when he said God knew what he was doing making things happen in a certain way. God bless and keep that man...
They continued to eat in silence for a bit, and thanks to that they could hear the news report.
«...Fastpass hasn't been seen in public, and America is still waiting to hear his apologies. Apologies and an explanation that are not coming, Tom...»
Upon hearing this, the priest's expression changed, turning sour.
"He'd better not show up in public ever again and prepare to burn in Hell eternally...'Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea', Jesus said, and damn right he was! That is what should be done with scum like him who lays a hand on a child...Superheroes or not!" He said, heatedly.
Butters said nothing, but looked at the news with great interest.
He knew Jimmy. He knew he couldn't keep his dick into his pants, but molest a child? That was sick and definitely not like him...
Nathan was the first suspect coming to their minds, as he and Mimsy knew that Jimmy had superpowers and loathed him enough to use everything in his hand to ruin his life. They had seen him on the television, spilling lies about Fastpass' supposed pedophilia. But it seemed he was just benefiting from the situation, just like the Raisins girls. Wendy had not found any link with the images published. Still, the Freedom Pals decided to keep him on their watch and maybe remind him that the deal was that he kept his mouth shut and he and his goon would be out of jail. Nathan could be devilishly smart...
All of this issue and her own as a civilian who had to work to pay the bills of the new house she and Stan had moved into had consumed so much of her time and energy that she just didn't remember about the pregnancy test waiting inside her purse.
It was time to clear things up.
She read the instructions carefully and did what they said to the T. Remove the plastic cap, sink the tip on a sample of urine, place horizontally, wait five minutes...
That was the worst part of the whole process, the waiting...She tried to keep her heartbeat at a reasonable rate on the meantime.
It had to be something else, she told herself. They had been responsible. Jimmy was just telling her horror stories.
Five minutes.
She grabbed the instructions again, then looked at the screen.
Two lines...'Distinct and consistent color bands appear on the Control (C) and Test (T) regions. Color intensity of the bands may vary according to concentration and level of hCG development'...
She felt her soul left her body.
Two lines meant pregnant.
A child...Jesus Christ, she was having a child indeed...Stan's child...She was going to be a mother...
She checked the instructions one, two, three, four, five more times, but the interpretation was still the same. Pregnant.
She let it sank. And then she started sobbing, sat on the toilet.
She cried quietly because Stan was in the kitchen and didn't want him to find out. Not like this...
She was interrupted by an incoming call she answered mentally.
"J-Jimmy?" She dried her tears and tried to make her voice stop trembling. "What's wrong? Do you have any news?"
"No, nothing, I just...Thought you wanted to do this quietly?"
"Huh?"
"What I mean is, wei-weird flex, but congrats, I guess...Or not?"
"What are you talking about, J-? Oh, wait, my mom's calling me, hang on." Wendy stood up from the toilet and walked to grab the test, wrap it on tons of toilet paper and throw it into the bin. "Hi, mom."
"Wendy, what is the meaning of this?!" Her mother sounded so angry Wendy became petrified.
"What do you mean?"
"We are your parents, why didn't you tell us first?"
"Tell you what?" Wendy deep down knew what she was talking about, but wanted to believe it was impossible that she knew already. It just wasn't possible.
"What do you think?!"
The door rang so insistently Wendy had to put her mother on hold too, even if she was complaining and whining and her dad joined her. Stan didn't answer, so she had to do it. When she did, her friends practically pounced on her.
"Are you serious?!" Bebe shouted in her face.
"You're pregnant?!" Red looked at her wide-eyed.
"Aaah! Oh, my God! How far along?" Theresa exclaimed, watching her abdomen as if she wanted to guess herself.
Red still had her phone in hand, showing an Instagram post of...of...Wendy checked her profile mentally. Oh, no! Not only Instagram; in all of her social media and chat apps there was that post of the pregnancy test in her hand and the comment in capital letters: 'I'M PREGNANT'.
"Shit!" She muttered under her breath, and cursed her stupid superpower. Now her whole family knew, her neighbors, the other Freedom Pals, her friends, her boss, even the plumber!
"And Stan? What has Stan's reaction been?" Nicole asked. "Some guys burst in tears like a baby when they are told!"
"This' been planned, right?" Bebe asked.
Their question was answered when the aforementioned stumbled out of the kitchen so pale he seemed like a corpse moving by strings, phone in hand, a blank stare on his face.
He didn't seem about to cry, absolutely...
"...You...did tell him, didn't you?" Bebe asked Wendy, not taking her eyes off Stan.
Wendy pressed her lips, looking at her boyfriend.
Almost half an hour had passed and Stan still had that Great Stone Face. His phone kept ringing, with family and friends demanding an explanation and congratulate him, but he rejected all of them and kept gazing at the wall in front of him...
Wendy, by his side, felt so uncomfortable she couldn't sit still by his side.
...
"...I wanted to tell you when I was 100% sure..."
...
"I-I don't know how to feel about this, either...A child...In our circumstances...But...I'm sure we will figure out eventually, Stan..."
...
Wendy bit her under lip and slowly drove her hand to caress his. It was like touching a dead man, as pale, as quiet, as flacid...
In the end, Stan stood up, not looking at her, rejecting her touch as if she was not there.
"...Stan?" Wendy muttered.
Still not opening his mouth, Stan walked to their bedroom and closed the door. Once inside, he laid on bed still quietly and there he stayed, with that unchanging expression on his face...