Chapter 29

Chapter contains violence

Steph POV:

I woke up with Carlos's head resting on my chest; half of his body laid on top of mine. His body was abnormally hot. Carlos was like a human furnace, but I could hardly stand to be under the blankets with him right now.

I tried to move, and he groaned, hugging me tighter to him. "Carlos." I whispered softly, pressing my lips to his forehead. He was burning up.

"Carlos, wake up."

He rolled onto his back, tugging the covers over his body. "Babe," he groaned.

"You're sick." I sat up, looking down at him.

"Can't be sick," he said. He still hadn't opened his eyes.

"Well, you are. I'll grab you some Tylenol. I'm going to take Julie over to Tank and Elena. Your phone will be next to the bed, and you'll call me if you need anything."

"Why are you taking Julie to Tank's?" He asked, opening his eyes.

"So, you don't get her sick," I said getting up and moving to the closet to get dressed. I came back out and kissed his forehead again.

"I'll be back in an hour. Go back to sleep."

He was already almost passed out. I went into the nursery and woke up Julie. I got her ready to go and called Tank as I fed her.

"Yo," he answered.

"Hey, I've got a favor to ask you."

"Go ahead," he said.

"Do you mind watching Julie today? Carlos is sick and I don't want her getting sick."

"Pack her a bag. She can stay with Elena and me until he's feeling better."

"Thank you."

"No problem. Just bring the pack and play."

I hung up with him and loaded Julie into her car seat. I called a goodbye to Carlos as I snapped Magnum's leash on his collar. I put the both of them in the car and drove over to Tank and Elena's.

Dropping her off, I took Mag for a walk before putting him back in the car. Julie had been living with us for three weeks now, since we were awarded custody and I officially adopted her. It was going to be weird not having her in the apartment; she was never far from me or Carlos, but it was for the best. Right now, a sick baby wasn't something either of us wanted to deal with.

When Mag and I got home, he climbed into bed with Carlos; he nuzzled against him, waking him up. I grinned. When Mag gave him a big wet kiss that made Carlos groan, I laughed softly.

I spent the day sitting next to him in bed, working and taking care of him. The next day Carlos moved to the living room, laying on the couch. I sat in the kitchen at the bar, working. Every now and then Carlos would groan and act like he was dying. In all honesty he was running a low-grade fever now and had a little bit of a stomach ache.

My mother had been calling almost every day since she left Miami two weeks ago. I'd been ignoring her calls, but today I was on edge. I answered it.

"Stephanie Michelle..."

"Helen," I growled. "Stop calling me. I don't want you in my life anymore. You have no place in it. The next time you call me, I will block you."

I hung up the phone and Carlos glanced over the couch at me and raised an eyebrow. I looked at him and he went back to watching TV and snuggling with Mag. I rolled my eyes but smiled.

"Carlos," I said, trying to wake him up from his nap. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm dying." He groaned. I laughed softly.

"You're so dramatic," I said.

On day three he was feeling better, and his fever was gone, but he still laid on the couch. I raised an eyebrow as I walked over and looked down at him. "Can we go get Julie?" he asked. I smiled.

When we got to Tank and Elena's, Carlos didn't wait to be asked in once Tank opened the door. When Julie saw him, she squealed before he picked her up.

I smiled and walked over, running my finger along her face and kissing the tip of her nose, making her giggle. "Ready to go home?" I asked her, snatching her from Carlos.

I was rewarded with another loud giggle. I smiled and nuzzled into her neck. Elena smiled as she watched. I let Carlos take her so he could put her in her seat.

"I think I want one," Elena said softly, standing next to me as we watched our men get Julie ready to go.

"Really?" I asked, grinning.

She shrugged. "There's something about seeing Tank hold a baby in his arms..."

I laughed softly. "Nothing like seeing a big badass man hold a tiny baby so gently." I grinned. "Every time I see Carlos with Julie, I want to jump him."

She laughed. "I'm half afraid that if we ever have a child, I'll kill Tank with sex before their first birthday."

I laughed loud enough that the guys turned to look at us. We giggled and hugged, exchanging quick goodbyes. Carlos picked up Julie's carrier and smiled softly at me before we walked out the door.

XXXXXX

I walked down the sidewalk, on my way to the pizza place down the street. It had quickly become one of Carlos and my favorite places to eat. I walked in and picked up our order. I started the fifteen minutes trek back.

Then she stepped out onto my path. She glared at me. "Stephanie."

"Jeanne Ellen," I said. "What're you doing here?"

"I'm here to finish you."

I smiled. "That right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, how do you want to do this?" I asked.

"I'm going to make it quick and painless for you."

First, she swung, no doubt wanting to disable me. I blocked it, turning into a kick meant to take her legs out from under her. Her food slammed into my chest sending me backwards, stumbling. I caught myself before hitting the ground. She threw another punch; I blocked and sent one into her kidneys as she landed one to my sternum, knocking the air out of me.

A solid kick to the chest sent me backwards, hitting the ground. She cackled. "This was too easy."

"Fuck off!" I coughed. "You do realize this will never make Carlos love you? You're a crazy ass bitch with a frozen heart. He already hates you. Imagine what he'll do to you if you kill me."

"At this point, I just want you gone. You think you're better than everybody else, flouncing around on his arm. Thinking your somebody just because he's focused on you for a while."

While she talked and waved her arms, I was working on pulling the gun from the holster at the small of my back. She yanked hers from her holster as I brought mine up. "Any last words?" she asked with a glare.

"Fuck you!" I growled.

She fired at the same time I did; I watched as she stumbled. I felt the impact and stepped back, catching myself. She hit the ground and I walked to her, kicking the gun away. Her blood soaked her shirt. My shoulder throbbed; her bullet having clipped me.

My hand shook as I holstered the gun, I let out a shaky breath. Hearing the sirens I stepped back, her eyes following me. "You killed me, Stephanie. Took what I could have had. Can you live with yourself after this?" Jeanne Ellen mocked as she started coughing. Blood and spittle flying. Her lung was punctured, she didn't have much longer if the ambulance took too long to get here.

What would Carlos think? What would Julie think? It might have been in self-defense, but I had murdered somebody, killed somebody. I wasn't trained for this. A cop car slid to a stop at the curb, two cops jumping out. Guns aimed at me.

I held my hands up and dropped to my knees. I was cuffed and slammed against the squad car by the bigger of the two cops. The other was trying to help Jeanne Ellen.

The ambulance pulled away with her in it and I sat in the back of a squad car. A detective opened the door. I knew he was a detective, his off the rack suit giving it away, coffee stain on his tie, five o'clock stubble that was six hours past its time.

"Can you tell me what happened here?"

"I want my lawyer." I told him. He rolled his eyes and slammed the door. I was taken to the station and allowed two phone calls.

I called Carlos. "Can you get Lawson down at the police station? I'm in custody. I can't talk about it over the phone."

"I'll call him and drop Julie off with Tank. I'm on my way."

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Babe."

I was sat down in an interrogation room, a female detective and a nurse joining me. My shoulder was cleaned up quickly and efficiently. Both of them left, but I knew I was still being watched from the other side of the glass.

The detective from earlier came into the room soon after, berating me. I stayed silent, waiting. Finally, Lawson stepped in, sending the detective out of the room. He sat down across from me, locking eyes with me. "Are you okay, Steph?"

I nodded. "I will be," I replied softly.

At two AM, Lawson managed to get me released from custody. Everything was cleared up. Carlos drove me home. We were both silent as we rode the elevator up and made our way upstairs. His put his hand on my back and guided me up the stairs.

He silently helped me take off my clothes, watching me for any signs of distress.

"Carlos," I whispered softly. "Did I do the right thing?"

"Babe," he said, cupping my cheek and making me meet his gaze. "You protected yourself. There's no fault in protecting yourself."

I nodded. He pulled me into bed and wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. My head tucked under his chin. "I love you, Carlos."

"I love you too, Babe," he said, kissing my forehead.

I woke up in the morning, Carlos sitting next to me on the bed, studying me. "If you weren't my husband, I would say that was creepy."

"So, being your husband gives me an excuse to be creepy?" He smiled. I laughed softly. I saw a flicker in his expression, and I sat up.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He sighed. "Lawson called."

"And?" I asked, sitting up.

"Jeanne Ellen died this morning." He told me softly, watching my face for my reaction. I took a slow breath and closed my eyes. Releasing the breath, I opened them.

I nodded. "And?"

"The police have cleared you of any wrongdoing," he said.

I nodded. "Can we go pick up Julie?" I asked softly. "I want to hold her, want you to hold us."

He nodded and pulled me close. "I love you, Babe."

"I love you, too," I whispered back softly.

I stood in the closet in front of the full-length mirror, wearing only a sports bra and a pair of sweats. A fresh bandage was on my shoulder. There wouldn't be a day that I wouldn't remember this, remember her. Every time I looked in the mirror, I would see the scar and it would remind me how close I was to dying, that I killed someone. It might have been in self-defense, but I had still taken someone's life.

I was zoned out when I felt Carlos's arms wrap around me. I leaned back into him, trying to keep the tears at bay. "You did the right thing, Babe," he said softly against my neck. I nodded.

I turned in his arms and looked up at him. "Does it get easier?" I asked him.

He let out a shaky breath, not meeting my eyes for a moment. "It doesn't. I wish I could tell you it did. You learn to live with it. I hope this is the only one you'll have to learn to live with."

I nuzzled into his neck. "I'm here for whatever you need, Steph."

"I don't know how I got so lucky, but I'm glad I did," I told him.

He grinned and kissed me. "Come on, let's go pick up Julie."

XXXXXX

I sat on the couch; Carlos was spread out on the cushions next to me, napping. Julie was taking a nap in a bassinet and Mag was laying at my feet sleeping. I was so lucky, and I knew it. I could have died yesterday. If she had been a little bit quicker, a little bit more precise with her aim, I wouldn't be here for this.

I wouldn't feel Carlos's arms around me, wouldn't see Julie grow up, wouldn't wake up to another morning of being smothered by Mag. I took a deep breath in and then out. It had been a rough couple of months for me. While I knew my relationship with Carlos was stable, I couldn't imagine what would have happened if we would have met a couple weeks or even years later.

We would be totally different people. Even though the last couple of months had been rocky, I was hoping once the dust settled, we would have our happily ever after. I could let the past haunt me or I could keep moving forward, not forgetting but learning. I felt a wave of determination crash over me.

Carlos stirred next to me. "You okay Babe?"

"I'm okay," I told him. "I will be okay."

He smiled softly at me. "That's my Babe."

I laughed softly, taking his hand and squeezing it. His face grew serious. "I'm sorry, Babe, for everything that's happened over the past couple months with Jeanne Ellen and Rachel. I'm surprised you even want to be with me. I let them walk all over us and control aspects of our relationship."

"Carlos, this has been hard for the both of us. With everything going on, we've lapsed in a lot of things. We've lapsed in a lot of things, but it's not too late to fix them. I know you stopped coping, stopped going to your therapy sessions a few months ago."

He sighed and looked away. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing," I squeezed his hand. "I know you're having trouble sleeping again. What made you stop going?"

"I thought I was better." He shrugged. "But I don't think I ever will be."

"Carlos…"

"I've been thinking about going back. Doc wanted you to come with me when the whole Rachel mess happened. He kept pushing me to talk about it and I didn't want to. That's why I stopped going. I'm not strong enough."

"Baby," I said, straddling his lap. I cupped his cheeks making him look at me. "Don't ever talk about yourself like that again. Whenever you're ready we'll go in together or separately. I want to see him about what happened with Jeanne Ellen."

He nodded. "Okay."

"Okay."

He leaned in and kissed me softly. "You're too good for me."

"Maybe I'm just bad enough for you." He chuckled and rolled his eyes and I grinned at him. We were going to be okay.

Well we're pretty close to the end. Only six chapters to go.