Dragging himself out of his bed, making sure his NG tube didn't get caught on anything in the process, SPENCER blearily rubbed his eyes as he made his way over to his closet.

Opening the door, he couldn't help but feel devastated at the boy he saw staring back at his from the mirror on the inside.

Once a fit, healthy, five year old boy, he was now reduced to the wisps of a child who had once been. His pyjamas hung on his like they belonged to someone four times his size. His skin, once a bronzed complexion, was a shade of grey, almost white. His hair hung limp and dull, no longer the brilliant gold it had once been. burns had cropped up on his scalp and on his neck; red and angry, they stung constantly.

Yawning, he reached up to run a hand through his bed styled hair, dragging his fingers through the scraggly locks as he looked at the clothes hanging in his closet; none of which he felt like wearing at all.

Feeling something in his hand as it left the ends of his hair, he looked down.

His breath caught in his throat when he realised a large clump of his hair now rested in the palm of his hand.

Tears welled up in his eyes as he choked back a sob, looking up at the mirror once more. He could clearly see where it had come from. A patch of hair on the right side of his head looked significantly thinner than it had been just before.

Letting the hair fall to the carpet, he was helpless to stop his tears falling as he tried to grab a T-shirt from his closet with shaking hands.

He struggled to get it free of the hanger, tears clouding his vision as he tried not to cry. Cancer kids were brave. They were strong, courageous, and inspirational. He had to be just like them. Losing his hair was just part of the battle. It would grow back...it would grow back...

By the time he had the shirt free of the hanger, he was full blown sobbing, the cries wracking his body as he tried to pull his sleep shirt off.

"Spencer? Buddy, what's the matter?" came the sound of his father's voice as the door to his bedroom opened.

Dropping the hem of his sleep shirt, SPENCER reached down and swiped the hair off of the floor, not even bothering to try and control his sobs as he thrust his hand towards his father.

"THIS! This is the matter! I don't wanna do this anymore daddy," he yelled, his voice filled with the tears running down his face. "Why did it have to be me?! Its not fair. I hate you for making me go through this,"

Dave let out a strangled cry as Aaron pushed past his to reach his five year old son.

"Spence, buddy-"

"NO DADDY, DON'T!" SPENCER cut in, grabbing his pillow from his bed and hurling it at his dad with as much force as he could manage. "I'm going bald, I'm ugly, and can't go three hours without vomiting or ending up with diarrhoea, I can't eat anything," he screamed. "I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL AGAIN!"

Aaron tried to grab his son as he went to grab a handful of stuffed toys, but missed his by mere millimetres as he flung them across the room to bounce harmlessly off the window.

By now, Derek was standing beside his father, trying to tug his away so he could calm his down.

"I'm so damn stupid and weak and ugly, IT'S NOT FAIR!" SPENCER sobbed. "I can't walk properly, I can't use a knife and fork like everyone else, and I can't go to school!"

"SPENCER, stop, stop! This isn't going to fix anything!" Aaron yelled, diving for his as an armful of clothes went sailing towards the closet, hitting the mirror before sliding to the floor.

"I just want to go one day, without throwing up! I want my hair to stay where it is, I want to be able to play soccer," SPENCER sobbed. Aaron managed to throw his arms around him, dragging his down to the floor as he cried and fought off his hold.

"Daddy, let go, LET GO!" SPENCER screamed, pummelling his chest with his weakened punches. After a minute of trying to get free, he realised it was pointless. Breaking down into a sobbing wreck, he clutched at his dad with his knobbly fingers, burying his face in his shirt as he held his close and rubbed his back.

"Daddy," he sobbed softly, the voice of a broken little boy finally being heard after the display of immense anger they had just witnessed.

"It's ok, SPENCE, Daddy's got you. It's ok," Aaron whispered, tears stinging his eyes as his baby boy wept on his shoulder.

Derek was finally able to lead Dave away, taking his to the kitchen so he could collect himself before he and Aaron dealt with their devastated son.

"SPENCER, when your hair is all gone...you will still be the most beautiful little boy I've ever seen," Aaron said softly, trying to ignore how he could feel the sharp edges of SPENCER's bones beneath his skin.

"Not true," SPENCER cried, his tears creating a rapidly growing wet patch on the shoulder of his father's shirt.

"Yeah it is. You're a beautiful boy, baby, you really are. But even more important...you have a heart of gold. You're loved by everyone who meets you. You almost always have a beautiful smile on your face. And that, my boy, is why you're so beautiful," Aaron said gently, kissing SPENCER's temple.

Holding his tightly, Aaron gently rocked his back and forth, rubbing his back in slow circles to try and soothe him.

In all honesty, he wasn't surprised by SPENCER's outburst. He had been waiting for it to happen since Dr Edmonds had told his he had cancer. He had handled the news like a champion, but Aaron wished he he hadn't. He had wanted his to break down, let out whatever he was feeling, and cope with the news by sharing his emotions.

"Daddy, I didn't mean what I said," SPENCER said tearfully, lifting his pale tear streaked face from his father's shoulder. "About you and pappa, I didn't mean-"

"It's ok," Aaron whispered, kissing his forehead. "Your dad knows you're angry and you're hurting. We'll forgive you"

SPENCER let out a whimper, more tears falling as he cuddled up to his dad. "I'm sorry"

Aaron had left SPENCER alone once all the kids besides spencer had left for school, stating that he needed to go downstairs and check on Dave.

After getting dressed in sweatpants and a sweater that had once belonged to Derek, SPENCER tugged his beanie on, noticing how the friction caused a few more smaller strands to come out, and slowly made his way downstairs.

Hearing soft voices in the front lounge room, he made his way in there, seeing his dad and dad huddled up on the couch, talking quietly.

"Pappa?" SPENCER said weakly.

Dave turned, seeing his frail son leaning heavily against the frame of the archway. Giving his a weak smile, he beckoned for his to join them.

SPENCER dragged his weary body over to the couch, sitting down between his parents. His dad put his arm around his as his dad turned slightly so as to be able to talk to SPENCER easily.

"Spence...we know this isn't easy for you...we know you didn't ask for this to happen," Dave started. Taking a deep breath, he took one of SPENCER's hands between his own. "We're not mad at you. What happened this morning is completely understandable. But what we do want to say...we want you to be more...open. I know it's hard when you're not used to talking about how you feel. But this road is going to be extremely difficult if we can't talk to each other and deal with what we're feeling"

SPENCER nodded. "I know," he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"SPENCER, as for what you said this morning," Aaron added, tipping his son's chin up with the tip of his finger. "You're not ugly. Cancer is an awful disease, and yeah, most of the time, you're not going to look like you just stepped off the catwalk"

SPENCER giggled, the first sign of happiness his parents had seen that day.

"But you're not ugly. I told you before that you are absolutely gorgeous, with or without hair. And no matter what happens in the next year or so, your father, Derek, and myself love you to no end"

"And you are not stupid, Spence. You're still recovering and going through treatment. You're making incredible progress. You're not stupid, just temporarily out of action," Dave added with a smile. SPENCER smiled, reaching up and hugging his dad.

"Pappa, I'm sorry about what I said about you and daddy. It was really mean," he said softly.

"It's ok. I know you didn't mean it, and I know you're still upset, we all are. We're going to get through this, ok?"

"Ok"