It had been an intense night.

Shortly after one in the morning, dave had watched on helplessly as spencer's heart rate spiked and he had started seizing again. By nothing short of a miracle, the on call oncologist and the nurses in the picu had administered a dose of ativan within thirty seconds of the seizure beginning, having been alerted to spencer's change of state by an alarm in the nurse's station. The seizure had stopped in under two minutes, drastically reducing the risk for further damage.

He'd watched as they had whisked spencer away for a ct scan and had finally breathed freely when he came back with reports of nothing to worry about. He knew spencer wasn't out of the woods yet, and until he was moved back to oncology, each day the sun set and rose was one day longer spencer had fought through.

The sun had been barely peeking above the horizon when dave had woken up from a restless hour's sleep. Yet again, spencer's condition had taken a nose dive. Upon looking up at his son, dave had been horrified to see blood pouring from the young boy's nose. It had taken three doctors and two units of platelets to finally bring the bleed to a stop, and a further whole blood transfusion to bring spencer's levels back up to where they needed to be.

When they made it to midday without any further incidents, dave finally heaved a sigh of relief.

"you hanging in up here?"

Turning around, dave found edmonds standing behind his.

A fire flew into his heart. He didn't want to hate the man. He had done so much for their family, none more so than spencer...

But without him, maybe they wouldn't be waiting on edge for their five year old to awake from a deep coma.

"what's it to you?" he said harshly, fixing a deathly glare on his son's oncologist.

Edmonds immediately took a slight step back, sensing the tension in the woman's voice.

"i'm just checking in dave. It's my job-"

"no, your job is to treat kids for cancer and make sure they are risk free along the way!" dave snapped. "your job is to make sure they are cancer free by critically analysing every millimetre of their scans, he might not even live because you missed a fucking brain tumor!"

"let's go out into the hall so we don't disturb the kids," edmonds said firmly, stepping forward and placing a hand on dave's back to guide his into the hallway.

"don't touch me," dave spat, pushing his hand away as the electronic doors whirred open before them. He stepped out into the hall, walking across to the opposite wall.

The air felt so much cooler and lighter than it done in the picu. Finally, dave felt like he could actually breathe. Leaning against the wall, he took a few deep, calming breaths, before turning to face edmonds.

"better?" edmonds asked knowingly. "i find the picu is stifling after a day or two"

"i'm still angry with you," dave said flatly, keeping his face devoid of emotion.

Edmonds nodded. "you have every right to be. I did miss a brain tumor on his scan. A tumor i should have been looking for the second spencer told us he wasn't feeling well again. But don't think i'm walking around with a free conscience here. I care about spencer. I care about all those kids. If something happens to spencer because of a mistake i made, i will pay for that for the rest of my life. I know it will be a thousand times worse for you guys...but i would feel it too"

Dave looked down at the floor, not having anything to say in response to the oncologist's words.

"dave, i don't do this job purely for the money. Yes it pays my rent and puts food on the table, but my job is worth so much more than that to me. I do it because i care. I do it because i hate nothing more than seeing kids lose battles with cancer. I do it because i don't want yet another family to go home thinking there's nothing more that can be done. So yes, i made a mistake, but i am going to fight tooth and nail to make it right again. I will do everything in my power to make sure spencer walks out of those doors with you"

Tears crested dave's eyes as he covered his mouth with his hand. A sob rose in his chest as he finally lifted his face to look at edmonds.

"i'm sorry... It's just awful... I'm sitting in there with his and every day that he doesn't wake up is another day of me losing hope that he's ever going to come home," he said tearfully. "i don't know what to do anymore"

Moving closer, edmonds pulled dave into a comforting hug.

"i think you need to go home, dave. Just for one night. See aaron and the kids, have a home cooked meal, and sleep in your own bed. I promise you'll come back tomorrow feeling like nothing can stop you," he said. Pulling away from the hug, he gave his a small smile. "this place wears you down and tears away every last bit of hope and fight you have. Spencer won't even know you're gone, and i promise i will stay up here and watch over his until you get back. If anything changes, i will call you"

Taking a deep breath, dave wiped his eyes. "but what about you? Aren't you needed in oncology?"

Edmonds chuckled.

"my shift ended three hours ago"

He'd barely stepped through the door when a tall, lanky body threw themselves at his, wrapping their arms around his in a tight hug.

"hi derek," he said softly, smiling as he kicked the door shut and hugged his son back. "you ok?"

A muffled 'no' came from his shoulder.

"it's alright. You don't have to be ok," dave said soothingly. "i don't think any of us are"

Derek lifted his face, stepping back a little. As he did, dave noticed the puffiness and redness around his eyes. He 'd been crying, and the thought of that only managed to break his heart further.

"i don't know how much longer i can take this," derek said quietly. "i'm actually making myself sick with worry"

Dave's heart sank. "it's tough on all of us right now. I just had a go at edmonds before realising that it's not really him i'm angry at. It's cancer... The universe... God"

Placing a hand on derek ' back, dave guided him into the kitchen, where aaron was absently stirring a coffee.

"you alright aaron?"

At his husband's words, aaron simply broke down. Slumping over at the counter, he buried his face in his hands and sobbed almost relentlessly as his wife and son hurried over and wrapped their arms around him.

"i keep thinking he's going to die," he admitted through a flood of tears. "i try and be positive, but no matter what i think or how i try and spin it, my number one thought is that right now, we could lose our baby boy"

"i know," dave whispered, rubbing aaron's back. "it keeps crossing my mind too. And i don't want it there, but it's lurking, every second"

"we'll be ok dad," derek breathed. "spencer's a fighter"

Dave smiled slightly, continuing to run gentle circles on aaron's upper back. "and while every day is difficult to get through, we just need to take it one day at a time. We're going to have bad days, and that's expected. That's ok. We just have to take it hour by hour, minute by minute. Because while the day may seem like it's never going to end, the sun will eventually set, and when it rises again the next morning, it brings with it fresh hope and new beginnings"