Thomas found David in the little garden behind the farm house the next morning. After speaking to Richard yesterday evening it was clear that whatever was going on with their two friends was not something that would magically fix itself as neither man wanted anything to do with the other. Maybe they shouldn't have been intervening in something that technically was none of their business, but both Thomas and Richard had agreed that they had been warmed by David and Chris's new blossoming romance and that Chris in particular had been like a changed man since David showed up in Downton. They felt that they should at least try to get to the bottom of what happened a few days ago after the note.

Thomas reckoned David didn't see or hear him walk into the garden. He was busy chopping up wood, presumably for firewood. There was a decent pile of logs stacked up ready to be stored away for winter, but the latest chunks of wood were scattered in an unorganised mess, lying where they fell as if no care was intended. They would have to be removed from the ground soon or else they would become damp and then rotten and no use to anyone, but as Thomas saw David swing the axe and bring it down with force onto a section of tree trunk in front of him, he saw that his friend was no longer chopping wood for the purposes of storing it for winter, is anger was showing and it was getting the better of him. Despite the obviously unhappy events of the past few days, Thomas was shocked by how his usually placid and laid back friend was behaving. It just wasn't like him at all. He expected it more from Chris, he had reckoned before that Chris could have a temper if given a good enough reason, but David just wasn't like this. "I hope you aren't imagining anyone's face on that wood David."

"How long have you been standing there Tommy?" David split the wood in front of him with another swing of the axe before putting it down on the ground, whilst breathing heavily from the excursion.

"Long enough to notice that you are taking out your anger on the wood. As I said I hope you're not imagining that the wood is someone?"

"No." David hung his head. "If I see anyone then it is only myself. That's who I can't stand right now." Thomas didn't answer straight away and David took his silence as confirmation of his own guilt. "So you agree that it's all my fault. I assume that is why you are here? Did Chris send you?"

Thomas spoke tactfully. "I think that whatever happened between you two needs talking about before too much time passes to fix it. And no, Chris didn't send me."

"No, of course not. He's been avoiding me."

"I'd say you're both guilty of that. You've been avoiding each other."

"I think he hates me." David kicked a few smaller pieces of wood on the ground as he spoke.

"No, I don't think he could." Thomas hoped he sounded reassuring.

"You didn't hear what he said, what he accused me of."

"Well maybe you could tell me? I have left Downton for a few hours to come and see you, I need something to show for my absence at least." Thomas watched David as he was trying to decide what to do. His frown on his face was then released and Thomas knew that he had gotten through.

"Not here though. Too many people on the farm today. Anyone could overhear us. We'll go inside okay?"

"Very well, lead the way."

...

"You'll have to excuse the lack of furniture Tommy," David said as he let himself and Thomas into the little extension of the farm house that he now called home. It was small, but since it was only him, it suited his needs well enough. "I haven't got around to making this place homely yet and I spend most of my time outside anyway. Got a table in the kitchen though, so make yourself at home."

Thomas took off his hat and placed it on the table as he sat down in a chair. "You should sit down David, you look exhausted. I'll get us a drink okay?"

"I should really-"

"-David, I insist. It's part of my job description serving people drinks and anyway you look awful." Thomas stood again hoping he had lightened the mood just a little, by poking fun at his job and his friend. To his delight, he saw David smile, just a little, but enough.

"I feel it." David sat down heavily. It was only as he sat down that he realised how tired he was. He hadn't slept well in the past few days and he had been keeping himself occupied during every hour of the day so that he didn't have time to think about him.

Thomas put a couple of mugs of tea down on the table and sat down. He had put an extra spoonful of sugar in David's because he thought he needed it. "So now you can tell me what is going on? Why is Chris walking around as if he is being followed by his own personal raincloud?"

David fiddled with the tea spoon on the table. "As you know I sent Chris a note to allow us to finally move forward with whatever is...was going on between us." Thomas nodded. "Well he came to see me and told me that he felt the same, in a roundabout way anyway. The problem is, I hadn't slept well the night before. I had been up late trying to word that note to him and I had to get up early enough so that I could deliver the note without him seeing me. So I fell asleep in the barn in the afternoon and I had a dream...nightmare actually."

"You broke it off because you had a dream?" Thomas wasn't sure what to say to that.

"Yeah I know, sounds mad and stupid but the thing is that I have had that dream so many times, but this time it was different. Chris thought it was silly too. He got angry when I told him that. I don't think that they can predict the future though, but it brought to the front of my mind a fear I have been trying to suppress. In my dream I am chased through the woods by the man who I ran from in Liverpool. No matter how fast I run he's always just behind me. It ends with me at the wrong end of a gun only this time, I was holding the gun and Chris was in my line of fire. Everything has been going so well since I came here that I have forgotten why I came here in the first place. If he finds me and comes for me and Chris is part of my life, he could get caught in the middle of it and if something happened to him because of me...I couldn't forgive myself. I won't risk him so I have to let him go. He's worth too much to me to risk losing."

Thomas drank down his tea, perhaps a bit too quickly but it gave him time to process what David had just told him. Makes sense. I knew he wouldn't push Chris away because he didn't want him. "So you did the right thing and now you hate yourself and Chris is unhappy?"

"Basically yeah."

"I understand not wanting to risk him. I know it's not the same situation but when I first met Richard, right up until we parted I convinced myself that we were only friends. I have had so much bad luck with any relationships that I didn't want things to end badly for me or for him. I told myself that I was content with remaining friends and if he hadn't kissed me then I wonder if I would have ever made a move. It was a risk, but if we hadn't taken that risk we would have regretted it forever." David avoided eye contact. "What I'm trying to say...and remember I am not good at these sorts of conversations, Richard is better at this than me...What I'm trying to say is that I know the risk is there for you and him, but you don't know what will happen. Your dreams are fears, and yes they may be justified, but you can't let them control your life and your happiness. You will be running from the Liverpool man forever otherwise. Try this again, see if he will take you back okay?"

"Thing is, I don't think Chris saw my words as a way of protecting him. He thinks I've led him on all this time intentionally. He may not be interested anymore."

"I am sure he is and look, with me and Richard sorting this out for you two, how can it fail?" Thomas chirped with cheerful confidence.

David smirked in spite of himself. "Maybe I've not completely blown it then."

"So you will try?"

"If he lets me. I promise I'll try." David meant those words and he had hope for the first time in days. It wouldn't be easy though.

…

Mr Barrow

Gone to see Chris to try to sort this mess out.

Left you tea and sugar in the cup on the side and water in the kettle.

Give Wilde a little milk as well please? He has been left out a bit today.

I'll see you later, I've missed you today,

R

Richard quietly closed the gate behind him as he entered Chris's front garden later that evening. He had spoken to Thomas earlier in the day and he had informed him about David's side of this situation they had found themselves in the middle of. Richard had told Thomas that he would try to talk to Chris again but he never managed to find the right moment throughout the rest of the day at the shop, so he had left it a few hours and had gone over, uninvited, to Chris's cottage to try to talk to him again. Thomas didn't know about his plans to visit this evening so he had left him a note on the table in the kitchen so he wouldn't worry about why he wasn't home when he returned from Downton later. He had signed it in his usual way, with a heart around the R. Richard hoped that he would be back before Thomas but he didn't know how long this would take. Richard knocked at the door. He could smell cooking. Beef maybe? Or lamb? There was no answer but Chris was obviously home. Maybe this is a bad idea. Richard knocked again, deciding in his mind that if he didn't answer this time he would leave. He then heard the door unlock. He stood back a step.

"What are you doing here?" Chris asked.

Richard could hear he was a bit annoyed in the way he asked the question, as though he couldn't be bothered with the effort of it. "Thought I'd pop around and see you."

"You saw me two hours ago, remember? And for the whole of the day before, like you always do." Chris opened the door a bit wider.

"Of course. I know, but we never spoke properly today. I was hoping to talk to you about something now?"

"If that 'something' is David then I'm not interested. I told you, I don't want to think about him anymore so can you just drop it Richard?" Chris had to hold back the bite in his tone. This was not the sort of conversation he could have on a doorstep.

Richard tried to proceed carefully. "Thomas saw him today. He told him everything and he explained a few things too so I'm more clear as to what has gone on and therefore more confident that we can solve this situation."

"I see." Chris frowned. "Well firstly, I never asked for you or Thomas to help, and secondly, what is going on is none of your business. You know I value my privacy and I believe, when I first began working for you, that you said you would respect that. Has that changed?"

It was Richard's turn to frown now, only more to himself. He does have a point. I did say that. "Not usually. However, as your friend I want to help, as does Thomas. We've seen how happy you've been in these past few weeks and I want nothing more than to get that back for you and for him." Chris didn't say anything, but since he hadn't shut the door in Richard's face yet then Richard assumed he was listening. "Don't you want that back too?"

Chris glanced upward and Richard saw him sigh sadly. Despite the bite in his response to Richard's offer of help, he wanted his help as he wanted David back. If I'm honest with myself that is all I ever want. "I do. Yes. But I don't think we can. I said some things I didn't mean." Chris looked out into the track beyond the garden behind Richard. "Look you better come in. I'm not saying anything more here." Richard took off his hat as he followed Chris inside and shut the door behind him and while Chris had his back to him, Richard smiled to himself at his progress. "I accused him of purposely leading me on. I may have sounded like I believed that, but I know that he didn't, if I am truthful." Richard followed Chris to the kitchen where Chris continued to chop up a few carrots with perhaps a bit more effort than what was really necessary. "He didn't think I was worth risking though."

"Hmm, but the thing is, I think what he meant by that is that he is not able to risk losing you. In fact I know that is the case because David told Thomas this morning. He said that you are worth too much to him to risk loosing which is why he pushed you away." Richard hadn't sat down, he leaned against the wall. He waited for his words from David to sink in.

Chris stopped chopping the vegetables. He didn't look up as he spoke. "He really said that?" There was a feeling in his voice as he spoke that said more about how he felt about those words more than any actual vocabulary could ever say. He knew David had told him the same the last time they spoke but he was too angry, too frustrated with things going wrong for him again to listen properly.

"He did. I know he meant it too." Richard found himself pleased with another little victory of Chris actually talking to him. "Can I tell you about something that happened between Thomas and I several years ago?"

Chris pushed the cut vegetables off the board with the knife into a pan. He put down the knife, giving Richard his full attention. "If you like."

"When I was still working at Buckingham Palace Thomas and I experienced something that almost ended things between us."

"Really?" Chris didn't expect Richard to say that. As far as he knew Thomas and Richard had always been solid in their relationship. A few arguments and falling outs like any couple would but nothing major, apart from the argument he caused by kissing Thomas. He's rather forget about that.

"Yeah, circumstances that I thought at the time were out of my control. I was careless and it was my fault. I left a letter from Thomas out on the table in the servants hall one evening. One of my co-workers, Arthur Bennett, read the letter and proceeded to blackmail me into quitting my job and recommending him as my replacement. The letter was not signed, but Arthur had been too determined to find out who it was from."

"Did he?" Chris asked.

"No. But I stopped any contact with Thomas for months. I drove him away to protect him, but he didn't know anything about what had happened and so he thought I had left him, without an explanation. It made him very...depressed. I did that to him and I hated myself for it."

"You did what was necessary to protect him though." Chris realised the point of Richard's story.

"I did, but I almost lost him as a result. I managed to blackmail Arthur back by planting stolen jewels in his room, although it turned out he was a real thief anyway. I agreed to persuade Mr Wilson not to call the police on him if he forgot everything he knew about me. It worked and I saw Thomas again at Christmas."

Chris nodded. "Good the bastard didn't win."

"Indeed, but what I'm telling you is that the very fact that David pushed you away, shows how much he cares for you. He's been hurting too, hating himself, it was not a decision he made lightly, you should know that."

"I do. I just don't know if he could forgive my reaction."

Richard smiled reassuringly. "I think he already has. Now Thomas and I cannot do much more. The rest is up to you both." Richard pushed himself off his position against the wall. "Maybe you will need time, maybe you won't. But don't just do nothing. If you were to want my advice, that would be it."

"Thank you. I'm sorry for the way I've been lately. This is all very new to me and I don't find it easy to accept help" a bashful smile fell onto Chris's face, "or that I am wrong."

"It's fine, don't worry. We all have these moments, even me," Richard said with a wink.

"Even you? Good, well now I know even the most perfect of people gets things wrong, I immediately feel better." They both laughed at Chris's sarcasm. "Would you like to stay for a bit? I know Thomas will be back soon."

"I can stay for a little. I left him a note."

Note: This chapter is a lot shorter than I originally intended. Basically this week, a few things popped up that resulted in my writing time being reduced. So instead of rushing the chapter, I will put the second half of this chapter into a chapter of its own next week.