WATERFORDS AND CUSHINGS IN ANTIGUA
Sonia: It is hot today. Nice to be under the awning.
Serena: Did Ray say how long he'd be with Fred?
Sonia: You know men. Especially those trying to change the world.
Serena: I'd like to have another run at those shoppes in St. John's. I've got my VisaCard stuff sorted out. Took an hour on the phone. Can you believe it, I had to ask Fred for his card! He got all snippy, quoted stuff back at me from my book.
Sonia: For heaven's sake, Serena: really? We're on holiday!
Serena: Ya, I told him to leave that stuff for his lobbying back home. We're supposed to be relaxing.
Sonia: Hey! Why don't just you and me head up to Barbuda for a couple of days, and leave the boys here? There's Princess Diana Beach on the south side, the sand is like walking with marshmallows under your feet. The ferry from St. John's is only 90 minutes. But I can hire a private boat if you want.
Serena: I don't know. Fred gets a little sulky when I'm not around. Besides, he and Ray can't seem to leave Sons of Jacob stuff back in the U.S. Boston will still be there when we get back. Geez, it snowed there yesterday!
Sonia: Ray's pretty obsessed. Look, Serena, is everything ok with you and Fred?
Serena: Fine.
Sonia: Don't tell fish stories with me, sister. You haven't said a thing since last year. I told you I'd always be there.
Serena: Fred arranged for the girl to be transferred out of their office. She can't really complain; she's now got money and a better job.
Sonia: I'm asking about you, Serena. Not her. How are you these days? I mean, c'mon sweetie, all of that malarkey, then you get shot! Fred owes you. Serena, you have to take some time for yourself.
Serena: Speaking of, here come the boys.
Fred: One for you, one for you, and one for each of us. The fungie and pepper is on its way. I ordered for all four.
Sonia: What's in the drinks, Fred?
Fred: Well, Sonia, rum built this island, so I guess it would be a mojito.
Ray: Like last evening. And like lunch yesterday. We are going to see if we can set some records before getting back to the grind.
Sonia: I'm just trying to convince Serena that the two girls should take the ferry to Barbuda. For the day, or maybe the weekend. Just us.
Fred: Did you get the credit card sorted, or do I have to do everything?
Serena: I'm fine. First thing I did was get some cash at an ATM just in case there is another screw-up.
Ray: Well, truth be told, Fred and I just got off a call with another Jacob in D.C. We keep getting pilloried by other conservatives for lacking a fiscal policy.
Sonia: Ray - we're on holiday.
Ray: No, this is serious. Other conservatives have constructed a monetary system based on debt. The Sons of Jacob are proposing that the system be based on labour. We keep getting called socialists. One of these days we're simply going to have to solidify a base on the right, so that we're not beholden to the Libertarians competing for our part of the spectrum.
Fred: At this point, I agree with the girls. So, Sonia, if you go when will you go? And can I come with you!?
Sonia & Serena: No!
Fred: Ok, here's the fungie and pepper. There's plenty of this lazy day left to plan our time here.
Sonia: … as long as you two boys quit checking your texts.
JOURNEY TO BARBUDA
Sonia: Go ahead, say it.
Serena: Say what?
Sonia: Say what you're thinking.
Serena: About what?
Sonia: About Ray.
Serena: Ray? Well, he is passionate.
Sonia: ….. and?
Serena: A bit of a blowhard.
Sonia: But he's my blowhard.
Serena: Do you think we should just cancel the B&B and go back this evening? We're landing in 20 minutes and we'd still have 4 solid hours on the island.
Sonia: Not on your life. Three nights in Barbuda, that's the deal. Two solid days just roaming the beach. That's an order Mrs. Waterford.
ANTIGUA POLICE
Officer Browne: Ok, Mr Waterford, a few more questions then we can let you go.
Waterford: Well, she did return the wallet. I don't think there's any need to make more of this than that.
Officer Browne: But the young lady is now making a complaint about you.
Waterford: Me!?
Officer Browne: Yes. Please do not worry, Mr. Waterford, prostitution is legal on the island. That's not what's at issue here. We'd dismiss her claim, but there's the matter about her boyfriend.
Waterford: Prostitution!? She works at the resort!
Officer Browne: Sir, your business is your business. But the lady and her boyfriend say that they took possession of your wallet to get the cash you owed them. Now you have it back. The complaint against you is the force you used to retrieve it. That's trivial, but I need to say The Royal Police Force takes a dim view of using violence to solve these disputes.
Waterford: Look, does it really have to come to this? It wasn't me who "used force", if that's what you want to call it.
Officer Browne: No, I understand. My partner is in the next room with Mr. Cushing. The boyfriend is in St. John's Medical Centre, and so far not saying much. It seems Mr. Cushing knows how to put someone down, the boyfriend is quite lucky, I'd say.
Waterford: Well, that's got nothing to do with me. Ray has always been a hothead.
Officer Browne: Look, if the boyfriend doesn't pursue this it would be good for all concerned if you and Mr. Cushing were on the next plane - tomorrow afternoon - either through Miami or New York.
Waterford: It's a little more complicated than that. Our wives are on Barbuda. Will be until the day after.
Officer Browne: Look, sir. It's not my place to judge. You're not the first in this position. I consider the matter with the wallet closed. We will tell the lady that we're folding the investigation into the assault against her, into the assault against the boyfriend. Like I said, I know these things - the boyfriend will not want anything to do with this once out of St. John's Medical.
Waterford: Can I go?
Officer Browne: If you wish. Take my advice: if you see the lady back at the resort, steer clear of her. Retrieve your wives. Get back to America.
Waterford: What about Ray?
Officer Browne: We pretty much have to hold him until the morning.
Waterford: Tell him to get his own taxi back to the resort.
NO INFO FROM THE GUYS AT THE AIRPORT
Sonia: Look at them. Arguing Sons of Jacob stuff.
Serena: They're going to call the flight in 10 minutes. Why are we leaving? Did Ray say?
Sonia: Ray never said. Mumbled about Sons of Jacob business, and that he and Fred are needed back in Boston ASAP. I didn't believe it.
Serena: There's something going on. Fred's like a little boy.
Sonia: Ray's just angry.
Serena: But thanks again, Sonia, for Barbuda. What a place! At least we'll have Princess Diana Beach!
Sonia: When we get home, I'll get it out of Ray. He spends most of his time at home arguing with other conservatives, rather than the liberals - or "heretics" as he calls them. The whole reason why we came, planning a long stay here, was because Ray said that there's little at issue for the next six months, when, as he says, "We can finally move all this along."
Serena: What does that even mean? Sometimes I don't think it's enough for those two to become influential simply among conservatives. Fred hates it when the Sons of Jacob are called "fringe", even by them.
Sonia: How much of your book do you think they're going to implement?
Serena: What?
Sonia: You heard me, if Ray and Fred's precious Sons of Jacob ever take over - God forbid - how much of your book are they going to implement?
Serena: It's a book, Sonia, not legislation.
Sonia: Page 75. You make a convincing case to have women withdraw from 'letters' as you put it. Hell, it even made me feel guilty that I was reading your book!
Serena: That's not Sons of Jacob, Sonia. This is not the Taliban or Wahhabist Islam we're talking about. My book is about freeing women for their biological destiny. The fertility crisis is not a conspiracy against women, Sonia.
Sonia: Ok, I get it. But our boys over there are the ones who are claiming your book is a road map. Here's our flight. We're boarding. Tell you what, if you get something out of Fred, call me. If Ray gives up the big secret about this trip, I'll call you.