Unlikely Love
Chapter 1:
Chance Meeting
By Hell Houndess
Editor's note: This story is a Fearsome Five/Darkwing Duck/ Steelbeak RPG editted for public enjoyment. Maybe you'll all love it, maybe you'll all focus on the angst, the thing with QJ getting mixed up with a 14 year old, I don't care. Flame away if you must but *I* happen to love it so I'm posting it anyway. ^_^ The RP it's based off was actually considerablly longer and involved DW who I guess you can tell when you read this is pretty absent as well as Gosalyn, Launchpad, and the fan character, Molly Dove, who were all involved. The reason not being that i don't like any of these chars cause I love them all but the plotline they were in was seperate from the one of the Fearsome Five and I really really wanted to focus on Celeste and Quackerjack mostly in this. I still had to cut out a lot of great scenes just to get this to a managable size so if any of my many fellow RPGers who helped me with the RP for this story read this and find a certain chuck their char was involved in missing it's nothing personal but it took me forever to edit this portion as is.Please don't be mad? (bats eyes) anywho, on with the credits and then the story.
* * *
My Special thanks to the Cast of RPers:
Negaduck911 Roaming Tigress(this coincides with her Steelbeak series if you get confused so go read it!) DarkwingPyscho Molly Dove Quackybell The LauderDale Ironduck_ca Celeste Mallard
* * *
All day Staring at the ceiling Makin' friends with shadows on my wall All night Hearing voices telling me that I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for something Hold on Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown and I don't know why
Well I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be
Me, talking to myself in public And dodging glances on the train And I know I know they've all been talkin' bout me I can hear them whisper And it makes me think that there must be something wrong with me Out of all the hours thinkin Somehow I've lost my mind
*** Around noon time one Summer day in St. Canard, a somewhat demented villain licked his wounds in his own personal hideout-an abandoned toy factory. The jester named Quackerjack was sitting on a giant teddy bear, his banana doll clenched forlornly in one hand. "It's not fair!" he whined about a past caper gone wrong, "That jewel was mine! All mine!" He stopped before it evolved into a temper tantrum and stared thoughtfully off into the distance. A small smile crossed his face. "Mr. Banana Brain." he started carefully, "What is it called when you convince people to do things for you because you know something about
them?"
"Extortion?" Mr. Banana Brain suggested.
Quackerjack chuckled evilly. "It's against the law, right?"
"Right." Mr. Banana Brain agreed.
"Alright, fair enough. Just making sure that I'm not doing something sensible." He assured himself.
"What's the plan?" Mr. Banana Brain inquired.
"It's nothing to do with you, nosy. In fact, I don't even know that I trust you enough to take you with me." Quackerjack said suspiciously, "You might wreck it all."
Without further conversation, he tossed the doll to the side and walked over to his wardrobe. He shrugged on a trench coat, muttering about the `fashion disasters' that he had to put up with to go incognito, and then stepped outside, locking the door behind him. "What with all the nutcases in town nowadays, one can't be too careful." he giggled, aware of the irony. "I'm sure Megs won't mind if I borrow his car. oh, no, wait. he minded last time." Quackerjack mused, remembering the last time he had tried to wheedle Megavolt into taking the car for a drive."Well, it was that old woman's fault, anyway." He said darkly, "She was hogging the *whole* sidewalk." He sighed, and started off down the sidewalk, deciding to walk instead.
It took him upwards of fifteen minutes to reach his destination, one of the numerous hideouts of Agent Steelbeak. Of course, since Quackerjack was in the villains' circle, he knew many of his
partners' hangouts, and had managed to glean a precious few of Steelbeak's after getting a few Eggmen drunk at a card game. Crossing his fingers, he hesitated, then knocked.
Steelbeak's eggmen have been changed from their former yellow-clad idiot status to the efficently-trained,silver-and-black wearin' bad-to-the-bone dudes who,over just a short period of time, became the most efficent army in the world. However, every so often, they'd revert to their stupid selves.
Steelbeak, the criminal kingpin of St. Canard,responded to the knock to the door with a groan. "Yeah, who is it?"
He opened the door and rolled his eyes when he saw it was Quackerjack. With a sigh, he grabbed hold of hishandgun, just in case the fool tried to break in."What d'ya want?"
Quackerjack's eyes bulged out more than usual and he took several hasty steps backwards.
"Whoa, somebody got out of the bed on the wrong side today!" he commented, half-alarmed, half-amused. "Why are you so paranoid, anyway? It's not like I could do anything to hurt you, being the criminal genius that I am." Quackerjack trailed off, blinking, as he looked Steelbeak up and down. "My dear Steelbeak. you look positively terrible! Why, you look almost like I feel." Quackerjack commented, producing several brightly-colored beanbags seemingly out of nowhere and juggling them absently.
"Listen, times have been kind of slow lately for crime in my area." he rolled his eyes at the thought, in exasperation, "Especially for items of my caliber. It seems everything's either below or above me. And let me tell you something: Megavolt may be content with pilfering light bulbs, but that is NOT my cup of tea. I need some help. Since you were the one who managed to thrash the living daylights out of me when I tried to steal that diamond, with several well trained flunkies, I decided that you'd be the best one to ally myself with.."
He stopped and turned, noticing a pretty young girl with hazel eyes headed down the street. His eyes widened evilly. "Hello." he said, quietly. He nudged Steelbeak and pointed, dropping
several of the beanbags, but somehow managing to keep a good amount of them in the air. "Hey, pleasure before business, right? Let's go see if she'll go out with one of us!" Quackerjack urged, prodding Steelbeak, "I've got a bunch of new inventions that need a willing audience.or an unwilling one, for that matter.. What do you say, buddy?"
*** (earlier) Celeste Mallard tried focusing on her homework but her mind kept wandering. She hated being kept after class. It wasn't HER fault that that sissy girl in art class had fainted from her realisticrepresentation in clay of a half eaten zombie. Some people had no taste nor imagination! The 14-year old scowled and scribbled something illedgible on her geomerty worksheet before stuffing it in her binder. Knobs anyway.
She yawned and glanced out the window, noticing it was halfway open and a gleam filled her hazel eyes. Well no one else was here, she might as well skip out early. She shouldered her backpack and pried the window open, climbing out and sneaking off school grounds. Thiswouldn't help her report card much but her father was never much concerned in those manners. She strolled toward the bad part of town without so much as a worry. * * *
Steelbeak hadn't seen this girl wandering about before, maybe she was new. With a shrug, he decided to see for himself. He wasn't too fond of teenagers or children, aside from hs own, and for some reason or another delighted in terrorizing them.
"Youse new 'round 'ere?" He asked, his voice a mix of friendliness and
hostility.
Celeste stopped in her tracks as the rooster approached her and fumbled with the shoulder strap of her bag nervously. She may have only been fourteen but she'd been around villains long enough to know you never turned yer back to one for risk of getting a knife in it. "You could say that, I guess.." Her eyes wondered to the duck in the jester's suit who was also coming toward her with a flash of recognition. Ofcourse this would be the opposite of the Quackerjack
she'd known in the Negaverse but still she recalled a few run-ins with the Friendly Four and wasn't so sure if she wanted to make his aquaintance. She was actually more intimidated by him than the unknown rooster but determined not to show it, narrowing her eyes
at Steelbeak, "And who exactly wants to know, eh?"
"When I ask somet'ing I respect an answer," Steelbeak told her in a sinister tone, circling Celeste and eyeing her every move. "De name's Steelbeak, High Command of FOWL and most powerful boid in all of St.Canard..." he said suavely, motioning towards Quackerjack and the Eggmen. "And dese are my associates..."
Celeste was by now getting annoyed with the rooster. she'd been around big egos before and was less than impressed by them or sinister boasting. She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, "Most powerful bird in St. Canard? Riiiiiight, Biggest Knob is more like it. Everyone knows Negaduck is the most powerful bird ANYWHERE, pal." She glanced at Quackerjack and smirked ,"something yer associate could probably tell ya."
"Youse jus' picked de wrong boid ta mess wit', littlegoil..." Right about now, Steelbeak's temper was rising. How dare that girl not take him seriously, and if there was anything that was on his lists of things he hated, that would be definately on the top five! Celeste reminded him of Gosalyn, someone who more than one had ruined his missions. "Little girl, youse know nothin' of what I am. I fought tooth and claw ta get at what I am now, and I do a lot more den just wave around a chainsaw like Negadork does..."
Celeste, who's temper was every bit as bad if not worse than Steelbeak's, snarled, her eyes blazing as she jabbed a finger in his chest which was about where her head reached," Who you callin' little?? I'm 14, Bucko, and I've taken on guys twice yer size." her jaw dropped in stunned rage at his joking insult about the masked mallard and her normally pleasant eyes took on a red tinge, "What did you call my fa...I mean, Negaduck?!?! Listen here, you tin-faced
chicken, those are fighting words!!"she dropped her backpack, utterly serious as she pushed up her sleeves,"Put um up! No one insults him ta me and walks away without missing a limb!"
Steelbeak's anger was turned to amusement as she tried to push him around. He's had Gosalyn try this, and nottaking her seriously, he merely laughed at her attempsat trying to be intimidating.
"You and what army, kiddo?" He laughed, placing a hand on her forehead and trying to shove her aside. Old Steelbeak wasn't going to let "some kid" ruin his day.Not even one that was associated with Negaduck,someone who he even feared. "So yas wanna push de old
Steelbeak 'round, hon? I gotta tell yas, de last time someone tangled wit' me, dey ended up in de ER fer abroken back and neck!"
Celeste scowled, not bothering to take a swing at him and promptly brought up one foot, kicking him hard enough in the shin to make his leg buckle then glared down at him, "Never mess with a Negaverse girl, Bud. We tend to bite." Her temper sobered and she looked at
him expectantly with an almost prim, polite air, "I expect an apology now for your earlier comment. I don't take insults to Negaduck too kindly. get the picture?" She has a dangerous glint in her eye, "And don't try anything, my dad'll fry you alive." She pushed back a short lock of aburn hair and tapped her foot impatiently, her cinnamon colored feathers and the bright teal
patches around her eyes far more evident in the late noon sun. She stuffed her hands in the pockets of her black jeans, her red sweater shifting in the wind.
YEOWwwww!" Steelbeak yelped, grimacing in pain as he clutched his scrawny, sore leg. He looked up at her with shock and disbelief, not geting over the fact that this kid had just knocked him down. He looked around to see if anyone else was with her. There was
no one, only Celeste and himself. And ofcourse Quackerjack. Which made him even more determined to put the girl in her place. Seething, he got up off the ground on his good leg and then collapsed back onto the ground.
"I am going to get youse fer dis...!" he hissed.
"Just what is going on here?" Victoria asked, attracted to the commotionn. A lovely duck with long black hair, Steelbeak's wife gave off a far more lethal feeling that her husband, as none of it was a bluff. She saw that Steelbeak was lying in front of Celeste, obviously in pain. "Did that kid just beat you up?!"
"No...I...Uhh...Tripped, and she just laughed and pointed at me!" Steelbeak lied, trying to make itsound not-so-degrading.
"I wish everyone wouls top calling me a kid!" Celeste complained in frustration," I'm a villain in training for crying outloud! And yes, he insulted someone very dear to me so I gave him a piece of my mind, which Quackerjack over there unless he has a different name he goes by in his dimension can attest to. Now I'd APPRECIATE an apology," she glared at Steelie with these last words, the sole of her worn sneaker still tapping the ground impatiently.
"Villain in training...Pfft...I'm a real villain!" He retorted.
With some assistance from Victoria, Steelbeak got up back on his feet, keeping his weight on the good leg.He dusted himself off and saw that his own wife was not very pleased with him. Humiliated, he grinnednervously and tugged at the collar of his jacket."Eh...I just...Uhh..."
"Villain in training...Pfft...I'm a real villain!" He retorted.
With some assistance from Victoria, Steelbeak got up back on his feet, keeping his weight on the good leg. He dusted himself off and saw that his own wife was not very pleased with him. Humiliated, he grinned nervously and tugged at the collar of his jacket."Eh...I just...Uhh..."
Victoria crossed her arms over her chest and scowled,looking up at him with a stern expression. "Go on, say it!"
Steelbeak looked away from the two. He was outnumbered, and if he wasto apologize it would have to be right now. The HighCommander rather wished he could just crawl away and feel sorry for himself after getting beat up by a girl."I'm...Sorry..." He whispered bitterly yet shamefully, finally making eye contact again with Celeste.
Celeste nodded silently. Quackerjack had watched all of this with a neutral expression, one of his hands in his pockets, fingering a Joy-Buzzer and wondering in his vague way whether or not it was a good time for a joke. He blinked at Celeste, worried but slightly awed at the same time."I suppose no introductions are necessary, since you already seem to know me.or at least the Nega-me. But let's not forget that any friend of Negs is a friend of mine." He couldn't help but laugh
nervously. Old habits died hard, and he remembered that he didn't exactly have permission from Negaduck to be out and about. He glanced back at Steelbeak, seemingly ignoring Victoria, and
smirked. "Beaten by a girl. That's going to go on your track record, you know." He mumbled, "I'm actually embarrassed to have witnessed it, but it's my civic duty to report any and all flaws to my boss."
He said, grinning. "Actually. since we all appear to be friends here. why don't we all go on a little crime spree, hmm? It'll be good bonus points for you. You might even learn some tricks from me!" he exclaimed, nodding at Celeste, "And." he turned back to Steelbeak, "It might help you redeem yourself."
Celeste smirked. She was starting to kinda like this version of Quackerjack, at least he wasn't some dopey do-gooder..and he was kinda cute too she thought, blushing a bit. She had no idea how she'd keep from slipping up and letting them all know who her father was but oh well, it was bound to come out in the villain community eventually that Negaduck had an adopted daughter. She fought a snicker of amusment at the thought of the Fearsome Four's faces when they found out. She'd missed so much happening in the last three years being seperated from Negs after that universal portal went caput but that was then and this was now...and she didn't have to be back at the hideout right now...."Count me in! What are we talking? Robbery? Blowing something up?" Her hazel eyes sparkled with mischeif and she cracked her knuckles.
* * *
The plan ended up being a citywide takeover, something which Celeste wasn't sure she was actually wanted to be part of but she listened in as the others planned it out anyway. At the moment Quackerjack was speaking.
Quackerjack nodded eagerly, his bells flapping up and down. "Yeah, sounds good! I mean, the rest of the Fearsome Five and me have tried that before, but Darkwing was there then, and we were pretty inexperienced. As an added plus-" Quackerjack froze in mid-sentence.
He had been about to say, `We won't have Negaduck to boss us around,' without thinking, right in front of a girl who, as was his interpretation, knew Negaduck and was friends with him. He glanced at Celeste and Victoria, then continued with an altered thought, "-
There's some feministic equality in the group now." he recovered swiftly.
"This whole city could be ours in a matter of days, and those other wanna- be villains will have to find another place to pillage! Think of all the toy stores!" Quackerjack said thoughtfully. "With your permission, of course." He added hastily, to Celeste and Steelbeak: Celeste because he was worried about Negaduck still, and Steelbeak because it was his idea. Quacky was a follower, and so he had likened to the idea of Steelbeak being his leader. That way, any problems that arose couldn't be pinned on him. Quackerjack grinned winningly at the both of them.
Celeste didn't know if taking over the entire city without his knowledge would exactly tickle her father pink, but then this was what she was training for, right? "Uh..I..I'll go with Quackerjack," she responded with a shrug, her cheeks taking on a rosey tint as she glanced at him
from the corner of her eye, twisting her sweater's bottom flap in her delicate hands nervously.
Quackerjack looked at Celeste curiously. He wondered obscurely why she had chosen to team up with him, of all people. He had half-sensed that most of his teammates found him annoying, only putting up with him because they had to, back when the Fearsome Five had been in full
action.He offered her a warm, friendly smile, saying nothing of his thoughts. Instead, he tried to make small talk as they walked, "I.um. we don't have to go to the toy stores first, if there's
somewhere you wanna go instead." he said, quietly.
Celeste felt a rush of heat in her face. he had the best smile she'd ever seen..she blinked
and shook her head to clear it. ~Okay, head outta the clouds,girl ,back to business.~ "Uh..toys are ok...I stopped playing with um when I was 12 but I still have a few in my room." She neglected to mention these include a plushie of Darkwing and smiled nervously,"Uh..we could
check out the art supplies while we're there anyway, I'm seriously running low on canvas and good brushes, dad says I run through those like napkins er something." She shrugged.
~Why is she blushing?~ Quackerjack asked himself. ~Did I say something wrong again? Maybe she thinks I'm too childish...wouldn't be the first person to think that. But she seems like she wants to have fun. She's certainly enthusiastic enough about the crime spree...she has a
nice laugh, too. I wonder who her dad is...?~He shook his own head, snapping himself back to the present and away from his meandering thoughts, unconsciously mimicking her own action.
At least she didn't mind that they were going to the toy store. He wasn't big on art himself, preferring music to it, but at any rate, it was something to talk about. He considered a question for a long time, taking a few of his remaining beanbags out and resuming juggling them artfully while walking along beside her. Finally, he found a conversation-starter in his thoughts; 'What type of things could she paint?'
His mind summoned possible responses like unicorns and fairies-girlish things that would probably not be very interesting to him. But he was making the effort, at least, and something about her spoke silently that she didn't paint girlish things at all. It was that which goaded his question. "What kind of things do you paint?"
Celeste blinked and shuffled her feet nervously. Most people found her odd for her artistic style. She couldn't even count the times her dad had been called by the principal out of "concern for her mental health" but she forced those thoughts back and replied, "zombies... werewolves... vampires... and a few less bloody portraits. Everyone in school thinking I'm an axe murderer in the making or as my teachers put it "a disturbed young woman" but heck I say who can define normal anyway, right?" She shrugged and kicked a stray soda can on the sidewalk into the gutter and grinned at him.
Right." Quackerjack agreed, nodding so vigorously that he dropped more than half of his remaining beanbags. He ignored them, figuring that he had plenty more in his pockets.
"But they really shouldn't underestimate your abilities, either. I mean, if you're in good with Negaduck's books, you'll grow up to be way better than an axe murderer." He said, seriously. Silently, he was wondering if she liked grim reapers, too. They had always been his favorites, and he had one of them in his coat, along with various other things.
She was still smiling at him. He grinned back, warming instantly to her friendly manner. He
couldn't remember the last time he'd had a straightforward talk with somebody, just saying whatever he felt like and not worrying about ruining his reputation to the `guys'. He nodded to himself absently, and said, "I can't help but think that robbing toy stores won't do wonders for your public in the criminal world. If you really wanna impress Negaduck, we should try to go big. Show that we really helped Steelbeak big in the takeover scheme. You up for that?" he asked.
"heck yah! That'd be great!" Celeste replied, her hazel eyes sparkling and she blushed slightly at his compliments. " Well..to be perfectly honest it's not that I'm all that evil or smart..it's more of the fact that I'm a relation than anything that makes him kinda linient with my mistakes, you know?" she admitted, pulling at the collar of her sweater.
A boy a little bit taller than her ran by, bumping into her and snapped," Watch it, Brownie!"
Celeste's eyes narrowed and she glanced at Quackers. "Excuse me a moment."
she dragged the punk into an ally and thrashing sounds along with yelps followed before she came out, dusting her hands off, "Sorry, one of my pet peeves, I HATE being called that. So anyway, what'd you have in mind? say, we could take out the police department!"
Quackerjack gulped. He fought the urge to peer into the alley and see just how badly she had thrashed the kid. His curiosity won out and he ducked his head around, took a good look, and then swallowed again.
"A relation, huh?" he mumbled, wondering how close the two were. Negaduck had never mentioned her to him. but then he couldn't have expected him to. The Boss didn't tell the rest of them anything. Celeste certainly was easier to get along with than Negaduck was,
though. "Knocking out the police sounds like a good idea for starters." he said, mischievously, "But let's think a little bigger than that, shall we? If we take out the police system-we can release all the criminals who're in prison! Even if Dimwit Duck were to come back to find us taking over the city, he'd be too busy rounding up purse-snatchers and jaywalkers! Ohh. it's perfect! If I know Darkwing like I think I do, he'll want to arrest every criminal in sight. and while
he's preoccupied, we can meet back up with the boss-err-Steelbeak, and tell him how it went." Quackerjack amended quickly and a little tentatively. He wasn't sure how she'd take his idea, and he didn't fancy being beaten to a pulp like that kid had been.
"Great idea! Shere brillance!" she beamed and kissed him on the cheek,"See, I knew i should stick with you, you're a lot smarter than they give you credit for. Let'as get started." She cracked her knuckles and started off, pausing as she noticed Quackerjack glancing in the ally. "Oh, don't worry 'bout that, I only do that to people who call me that name.." she shuddered and made a face. "I hate that. It's kinda like Megavolt's thing with being called Sparky.
Oh and incase yer wondering what I meant by relation, I'd probably better clarify that. I'm Negaduck's adopted daughter but don't tell everyone, I mean they might think he's going soft if they knew and then he'd have to kill them." She shrugged and walked off toward the police station whistling.
Quackerjack stood for a few seconds in stunned silence, less from the peck on the cheek than the revelation that preceded it. She was Negs' adopted daughter? Wild. "Err. Mental note. Don't say. `The Name'." He said, half to himself.
He enjoyed baiting Megsy, there weren't consequences, like being pummeled, to follow. Maybe a brief electrical shock, but he was used to that. Perhaps when Celeste knew him better and they became real partners in crime, she'd let him call her a different cute nickname, one that she liked. Maybe `Celia,' or `Cee'. And she could call him QJ or Quacky, as opposed to his formal name. A small smirk crept onto his beak at the thought.
He followed her to the outside of the police station, discarding the rest of his beanbags to the recesses of one of his deepest pockets to keep his hands free. He tried to calm the butterflies in his stomach, reminding himself that Darkwing was not likely to appear. there would be no cloud of smoke with a startling simile and a lot of quack-fu pain. If there was, he had Celeste to back him up, anyway. And she had said he was smart. He glowed a little.
"Thanks for the compliment. I don't get them often, but I've just gotten two in the same hour." he commented dryly. He smiled, showing his teeth, and said, reassuringly, "Good luck, Celeste. Don't feel too bad if we get caught; I'll get us out again. And with your Dad's influence. well. I'm sure that you're a natural. You look confident enough to me." he added
Quackerjack sat down next to the wall, staring at it with childish intensity for a full minute. "Alright. This looks pretty strong.they must've fixed it properly since the last time. I'd say a couple is all it'd take, though." He muttered vaguely to himself, his hand diving into a pocket and his mind completely focused on the task at hand. "Good thing I keep so much junk kicking around in here.Aha! Here we go." He withdrew several jacks, holding them gingerly as
though they might explode at any second. His sadistic smile said that they would, as well as his next urgent warning; "Stand well clear, Celi- um.Celeste." He mumbled.
He waited for a few seconds for her to comply, skipped back a couple of steps himself, and then hurled the jacks at the wall. It promptly exploded into a huge gaping hole, and the force caused gray smoke to billow around the scene, making QJ choke. "Yep, they reinforced it
since the last time." he gagged, sarcasm heavy in his voice."Subtle?" Quackerjack coughed, recovering quickly, "No. Fun? Yes." he chuckled evilly. "Come on, they'll be organized in a couple'a minutes, unless they're on their donut break." He urged, jumping forward into the smoke and trusting her to follow. "Let's wreak some mayhem! It's Playyyytime!!"
*** Well I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be
I've been talkin in my sleep Pretty soon they'll come to get me Yeah, they're takin' me away
Well I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be Yeah, How I used to be How I used to be, yeah Well I'm just a little unwell How I used to be (A little unwell) How I used to be I'm just a little unwell
Chapter 1:
Chance Meeting
By Hell Houndess
Editor's note: This story is a Fearsome Five/Darkwing Duck/ Steelbeak RPG editted for public enjoyment. Maybe you'll all love it, maybe you'll all focus on the angst, the thing with QJ getting mixed up with a 14 year old, I don't care. Flame away if you must but *I* happen to love it so I'm posting it anyway. ^_^ The RP it's based off was actually considerablly longer and involved DW who I guess you can tell when you read this is pretty absent as well as Gosalyn, Launchpad, and the fan character, Molly Dove, who were all involved. The reason not being that i don't like any of these chars cause I love them all but the plotline they were in was seperate from the one of the Fearsome Five and I really really wanted to focus on Celeste and Quackerjack mostly in this. I still had to cut out a lot of great scenes just to get this to a managable size so if any of my many fellow RPGers who helped me with the RP for this story read this and find a certain chuck their char was involved in missing it's nothing personal but it took me forever to edit this portion as is.Please don't be mad? (bats eyes) anywho, on with the credits and then the story.
* * *
My Special thanks to the Cast of RPers:
Negaduck911 Roaming Tigress(this coincides with her Steelbeak series if you get confused so go read it!) DarkwingPyscho Molly Dove Quackybell The LauderDale Ironduck_ca Celeste Mallard
* * *
All day Staring at the ceiling Makin' friends with shadows on my wall All night Hearing voices telling me that I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for something Hold on Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown and I don't know why
Well I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be
Me, talking to myself in public And dodging glances on the train And I know I know they've all been talkin' bout me I can hear them whisper And it makes me think that there must be something wrong with me Out of all the hours thinkin Somehow I've lost my mind
*** Around noon time one Summer day in St. Canard, a somewhat demented villain licked his wounds in his own personal hideout-an abandoned toy factory. The jester named Quackerjack was sitting on a giant teddy bear, his banana doll clenched forlornly in one hand. "It's not fair!" he whined about a past caper gone wrong, "That jewel was mine! All mine!" He stopped before it evolved into a temper tantrum and stared thoughtfully off into the distance. A small smile crossed his face. "Mr. Banana Brain." he started carefully, "What is it called when you convince people to do things for you because you know something about
them?"
"Extortion?" Mr. Banana Brain suggested.
Quackerjack chuckled evilly. "It's against the law, right?"
"Right." Mr. Banana Brain agreed.
"Alright, fair enough. Just making sure that I'm not doing something sensible." He assured himself.
"What's the plan?" Mr. Banana Brain inquired.
"It's nothing to do with you, nosy. In fact, I don't even know that I trust you enough to take you with me." Quackerjack said suspiciously, "You might wreck it all."
Without further conversation, he tossed the doll to the side and walked over to his wardrobe. He shrugged on a trench coat, muttering about the `fashion disasters' that he had to put up with to go incognito, and then stepped outside, locking the door behind him. "What with all the nutcases in town nowadays, one can't be too careful." he giggled, aware of the irony. "I'm sure Megs won't mind if I borrow his car. oh, no, wait. he minded last time." Quackerjack mused, remembering the last time he had tried to wheedle Megavolt into taking the car for a drive."Well, it was that old woman's fault, anyway." He said darkly, "She was hogging the *whole* sidewalk." He sighed, and started off down the sidewalk, deciding to walk instead.
It took him upwards of fifteen minutes to reach his destination, one of the numerous hideouts of Agent Steelbeak. Of course, since Quackerjack was in the villains' circle, he knew many of his
partners' hangouts, and had managed to glean a precious few of Steelbeak's after getting a few Eggmen drunk at a card game. Crossing his fingers, he hesitated, then knocked.
Steelbeak's eggmen have been changed from their former yellow-clad idiot status to the efficently-trained,silver-and-black wearin' bad-to-the-bone dudes who,over just a short period of time, became the most efficent army in the world. However, every so often, they'd revert to their stupid selves.
Steelbeak, the criminal kingpin of St. Canard,responded to the knock to the door with a groan. "Yeah, who is it?"
He opened the door and rolled his eyes when he saw it was Quackerjack. With a sigh, he grabbed hold of hishandgun, just in case the fool tried to break in."What d'ya want?"
Quackerjack's eyes bulged out more than usual and he took several hasty steps backwards.
"Whoa, somebody got out of the bed on the wrong side today!" he commented, half-alarmed, half-amused. "Why are you so paranoid, anyway? It's not like I could do anything to hurt you, being the criminal genius that I am." Quackerjack trailed off, blinking, as he looked Steelbeak up and down. "My dear Steelbeak. you look positively terrible! Why, you look almost like I feel." Quackerjack commented, producing several brightly-colored beanbags seemingly out of nowhere and juggling them absently.
"Listen, times have been kind of slow lately for crime in my area." he rolled his eyes at the thought, in exasperation, "Especially for items of my caliber. It seems everything's either below or above me. And let me tell you something: Megavolt may be content with pilfering light bulbs, but that is NOT my cup of tea. I need some help. Since you were the one who managed to thrash the living daylights out of me when I tried to steal that diamond, with several well trained flunkies, I decided that you'd be the best one to ally myself with.."
He stopped and turned, noticing a pretty young girl with hazel eyes headed down the street. His eyes widened evilly. "Hello." he said, quietly. He nudged Steelbeak and pointed, dropping
several of the beanbags, but somehow managing to keep a good amount of them in the air. "Hey, pleasure before business, right? Let's go see if she'll go out with one of us!" Quackerjack urged, prodding Steelbeak, "I've got a bunch of new inventions that need a willing audience.or an unwilling one, for that matter.. What do you say, buddy?"
*** (earlier) Celeste Mallard tried focusing on her homework but her mind kept wandering. She hated being kept after class. It wasn't HER fault that that sissy girl in art class had fainted from her realisticrepresentation in clay of a half eaten zombie. Some people had no taste nor imagination! The 14-year old scowled and scribbled something illedgible on her geomerty worksheet before stuffing it in her binder. Knobs anyway.
She yawned and glanced out the window, noticing it was halfway open and a gleam filled her hazel eyes. Well no one else was here, she might as well skip out early. She shouldered her backpack and pried the window open, climbing out and sneaking off school grounds. Thiswouldn't help her report card much but her father was never much concerned in those manners. She strolled toward the bad part of town without so much as a worry. * * *
Steelbeak hadn't seen this girl wandering about before, maybe she was new. With a shrug, he decided to see for himself. He wasn't too fond of teenagers or children, aside from hs own, and for some reason or another delighted in terrorizing them.
"Youse new 'round 'ere?" He asked, his voice a mix of friendliness and
hostility.
Celeste stopped in her tracks as the rooster approached her and fumbled with the shoulder strap of her bag nervously. She may have only been fourteen but she'd been around villains long enough to know you never turned yer back to one for risk of getting a knife in it. "You could say that, I guess.." Her eyes wondered to the duck in the jester's suit who was also coming toward her with a flash of recognition. Ofcourse this would be the opposite of the Quackerjack
she'd known in the Negaverse but still she recalled a few run-ins with the Friendly Four and wasn't so sure if she wanted to make his aquaintance. She was actually more intimidated by him than the unknown rooster but determined not to show it, narrowing her eyes
at Steelbeak, "And who exactly wants to know, eh?"
"When I ask somet'ing I respect an answer," Steelbeak told her in a sinister tone, circling Celeste and eyeing her every move. "De name's Steelbeak, High Command of FOWL and most powerful boid in all of St.Canard..." he said suavely, motioning towards Quackerjack and the Eggmen. "And dese are my associates..."
Celeste was by now getting annoyed with the rooster. she'd been around big egos before and was less than impressed by them or sinister boasting. She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, "Most powerful bird in St. Canard? Riiiiiight, Biggest Knob is more like it. Everyone knows Negaduck is the most powerful bird ANYWHERE, pal." She glanced at Quackerjack and smirked ,"something yer associate could probably tell ya."
"Youse jus' picked de wrong boid ta mess wit', littlegoil..." Right about now, Steelbeak's temper was rising. How dare that girl not take him seriously, and if there was anything that was on his lists of things he hated, that would be definately on the top five! Celeste reminded him of Gosalyn, someone who more than one had ruined his missions. "Little girl, youse know nothin' of what I am. I fought tooth and claw ta get at what I am now, and I do a lot more den just wave around a chainsaw like Negadork does..."
Celeste, who's temper was every bit as bad if not worse than Steelbeak's, snarled, her eyes blazing as she jabbed a finger in his chest which was about where her head reached," Who you callin' little?? I'm 14, Bucko, and I've taken on guys twice yer size." her jaw dropped in stunned rage at his joking insult about the masked mallard and her normally pleasant eyes took on a red tinge, "What did you call my fa...I mean, Negaduck?!?! Listen here, you tin-faced
chicken, those are fighting words!!"she dropped her backpack, utterly serious as she pushed up her sleeves,"Put um up! No one insults him ta me and walks away without missing a limb!"
Steelbeak's anger was turned to amusement as she tried to push him around. He's had Gosalyn try this, and nottaking her seriously, he merely laughed at her attempsat trying to be intimidating.
"You and what army, kiddo?" He laughed, placing a hand on her forehead and trying to shove her aside. Old Steelbeak wasn't going to let "some kid" ruin his day.Not even one that was associated with Negaduck,someone who he even feared. "So yas wanna push de old
Steelbeak 'round, hon? I gotta tell yas, de last time someone tangled wit' me, dey ended up in de ER fer abroken back and neck!"
Celeste scowled, not bothering to take a swing at him and promptly brought up one foot, kicking him hard enough in the shin to make his leg buckle then glared down at him, "Never mess with a Negaverse girl, Bud. We tend to bite." Her temper sobered and she looked at
him expectantly with an almost prim, polite air, "I expect an apology now for your earlier comment. I don't take insults to Negaduck too kindly. get the picture?" She has a dangerous glint in her eye, "And don't try anything, my dad'll fry you alive." She pushed back a short lock of aburn hair and tapped her foot impatiently, her cinnamon colored feathers and the bright teal
patches around her eyes far more evident in the late noon sun. She stuffed her hands in the pockets of her black jeans, her red sweater shifting in the wind.
YEOWwwww!" Steelbeak yelped, grimacing in pain as he clutched his scrawny, sore leg. He looked up at her with shock and disbelief, not geting over the fact that this kid had just knocked him down. He looked around to see if anyone else was with her. There was
no one, only Celeste and himself. And ofcourse Quackerjack. Which made him even more determined to put the girl in her place. Seething, he got up off the ground on his good leg and then collapsed back onto the ground.
"I am going to get youse fer dis...!" he hissed.
"Just what is going on here?" Victoria asked, attracted to the commotionn. A lovely duck with long black hair, Steelbeak's wife gave off a far more lethal feeling that her husband, as none of it was a bluff. She saw that Steelbeak was lying in front of Celeste, obviously in pain. "Did that kid just beat you up?!"
"No...I...Uhh...Tripped, and she just laughed and pointed at me!" Steelbeak lied, trying to make itsound not-so-degrading.
"I wish everyone wouls top calling me a kid!" Celeste complained in frustration," I'm a villain in training for crying outloud! And yes, he insulted someone very dear to me so I gave him a piece of my mind, which Quackerjack over there unless he has a different name he goes by in his dimension can attest to. Now I'd APPRECIATE an apology," she glared at Steelie with these last words, the sole of her worn sneaker still tapping the ground impatiently.
"Villain in training...Pfft...I'm a real villain!" He retorted.
With some assistance from Victoria, Steelbeak got up back on his feet, keeping his weight on the good leg.He dusted himself off and saw that his own wife was not very pleased with him. Humiliated, he grinnednervously and tugged at the collar of his jacket."Eh...I just...Uhh..."
"Villain in training...Pfft...I'm a real villain!" He retorted.
With some assistance from Victoria, Steelbeak got up back on his feet, keeping his weight on the good leg. He dusted himself off and saw that his own wife was not very pleased with him. Humiliated, he grinned nervously and tugged at the collar of his jacket."Eh...I just...Uhh..."
Victoria crossed her arms over her chest and scowled,looking up at him with a stern expression. "Go on, say it!"
Steelbeak looked away from the two. He was outnumbered, and if he wasto apologize it would have to be right now. The HighCommander rather wished he could just crawl away and feel sorry for himself after getting beat up by a girl."I'm...Sorry..." He whispered bitterly yet shamefully, finally making eye contact again with Celeste.
Celeste nodded silently. Quackerjack had watched all of this with a neutral expression, one of his hands in his pockets, fingering a Joy-Buzzer and wondering in his vague way whether or not it was a good time for a joke. He blinked at Celeste, worried but slightly awed at the same time."I suppose no introductions are necessary, since you already seem to know me.or at least the Nega-me. But let's not forget that any friend of Negs is a friend of mine." He couldn't help but laugh
nervously. Old habits died hard, and he remembered that he didn't exactly have permission from Negaduck to be out and about. He glanced back at Steelbeak, seemingly ignoring Victoria, and
smirked. "Beaten by a girl. That's going to go on your track record, you know." He mumbled, "I'm actually embarrassed to have witnessed it, but it's my civic duty to report any and all flaws to my boss."
He said, grinning. "Actually. since we all appear to be friends here. why don't we all go on a little crime spree, hmm? It'll be good bonus points for you. You might even learn some tricks from me!" he exclaimed, nodding at Celeste, "And." he turned back to Steelbeak, "It might help you redeem yourself."
Celeste smirked. She was starting to kinda like this version of Quackerjack, at least he wasn't some dopey do-gooder..and he was kinda cute too she thought, blushing a bit. She had no idea how she'd keep from slipping up and letting them all know who her father was but oh well, it was bound to come out in the villain community eventually that Negaduck had an adopted daughter. She fought a snicker of amusment at the thought of the Fearsome Four's faces when they found out. She'd missed so much happening in the last three years being seperated from Negs after that universal portal went caput but that was then and this was now...and she didn't have to be back at the hideout right now...."Count me in! What are we talking? Robbery? Blowing something up?" Her hazel eyes sparkled with mischeif and she cracked her knuckles.
* * *
The plan ended up being a citywide takeover, something which Celeste wasn't sure she was actually wanted to be part of but she listened in as the others planned it out anyway. At the moment Quackerjack was speaking.
Quackerjack nodded eagerly, his bells flapping up and down. "Yeah, sounds good! I mean, the rest of the Fearsome Five and me have tried that before, but Darkwing was there then, and we were pretty inexperienced. As an added plus-" Quackerjack froze in mid-sentence.
He had been about to say, `We won't have Negaduck to boss us around,' without thinking, right in front of a girl who, as was his interpretation, knew Negaduck and was friends with him. He glanced at Celeste and Victoria, then continued with an altered thought, "-
There's some feministic equality in the group now." he recovered swiftly.
"This whole city could be ours in a matter of days, and those other wanna- be villains will have to find another place to pillage! Think of all the toy stores!" Quackerjack said thoughtfully. "With your permission, of course." He added hastily, to Celeste and Steelbeak: Celeste because he was worried about Negaduck still, and Steelbeak because it was his idea. Quacky was a follower, and so he had likened to the idea of Steelbeak being his leader. That way, any problems that arose couldn't be pinned on him. Quackerjack grinned winningly at the both of them.
Celeste didn't know if taking over the entire city without his knowledge would exactly tickle her father pink, but then this was what she was training for, right? "Uh..I..I'll go with Quackerjack," she responded with a shrug, her cheeks taking on a rosey tint as she glanced at him
from the corner of her eye, twisting her sweater's bottom flap in her delicate hands nervously.
Quackerjack looked at Celeste curiously. He wondered obscurely why she had chosen to team up with him, of all people. He had half-sensed that most of his teammates found him annoying, only putting up with him because they had to, back when the Fearsome Five had been in full
action.He offered her a warm, friendly smile, saying nothing of his thoughts. Instead, he tried to make small talk as they walked, "I.um. we don't have to go to the toy stores first, if there's
somewhere you wanna go instead." he said, quietly.
Celeste felt a rush of heat in her face. he had the best smile she'd ever seen..she blinked
and shook her head to clear it. ~Okay, head outta the clouds,girl ,back to business.~ "Uh..toys are ok...I stopped playing with um when I was 12 but I still have a few in my room." She neglected to mention these include a plushie of Darkwing and smiled nervously,"Uh..we could
check out the art supplies while we're there anyway, I'm seriously running low on canvas and good brushes, dad says I run through those like napkins er something." She shrugged.
~Why is she blushing?~ Quackerjack asked himself. ~Did I say something wrong again? Maybe she thinks I'm too childish...wouldn't be the first person to think that. But she seems like she wants to have fun. She's certainly enthusiastic enough about the crime spree...she has a
nice laugh, too. I wonder who her dad is...?~He shook his own head, snapping himself back to the present and away from his meandering thoughts, unconsciously mimicking her own action.
At least she didn't mind that they were going to the toy store. He wasn't big on art himself, preferring music to it, but at any rate, it was something to talk about. He considered a question for a long time, taking a few of his remaining beanbags out and resuming juggling them artfully while walking along beside her. Finally, he found a conversation-starter in his thoughts; 'What type of things could she paint?'
His mind summoned possible responses like unicorns and fairies-girlish things that would probably not be very interesting to him. But he was making the effort, at least, and something about her spoke silently that she didn't paint girlish things at all. It was that which goaded his question. "What kind of things do you paint?"
Celeste blinked and shuffled her feet nervously. Most people found her odd for her artistic style. She couldn't even count the times her dad had been called by the principal out of "concern for her mental health" but she forced those thoughts back and replied, "zombies... werewolves... vampires... and a few less bloody portraits. Everyone in school thinking I'm an axe murderer in the making or as my teachers put it "a disturbed young woman" but heck I say who can define normal anyway, right?" She shrugged and kicked a stray soda can on the sidewalk into the gutter and grinned at him.
Right." Quackerjack agreed, nodding so vigorously that he dropped more than half of his remaining beanbags. He ignored them, figuring that he had plenty more in his pockets.
"But they really shouldn't underestimate your abilities, either. I mean, if you're in good with Negaduck's books, you'll grow up to be way better than an axe murderer." He said, seriously. Silently, he was wondering if she liked grim reapers, too. They had always been his favorites, and he had one of them in his coat, along with various other things.
She was still smiling at him. He grinned back, warming instantly to her friendly manner. He
couldn't remember the last time he'd had a straightforward talk with somebody, just saying whatever he felt like and not worrying about ruining his reputation to the `guys'. He nodded to himself absently, and said, "I can't help but think that robbing toy stores won't do wonders for your public in the criminal world. If you really wanna impress Negaduck, we should try to go big. Show that we really helped Steelbeak big in the takeover scheme. You up for that?" he asked.
"heck yah! That'd be great!" Celeste replied, her hazel eyes sparkling and she blushed slightly at his compliments. " Well..to be perfectly honest it's not that I'm all that evil or smart..it's more of the fact that I'm a relation than anything that makes him kinda linient with my mistakes, you know?" she admitted, pulling at the collar of her sweater.
A boy a little bit taller than her ran by, bumping into her and snapped," Watch it, Brownie!"
Celeste's eyes narrowed and she glanced at Quackers. "Excuse me a moment."
she dragged the punk into an ally and thrashing sounds along with yelps followed before she came out, dusting her hands off, "Sorry, one of my pet peeves, I HATE being called that. So anyway, what'd you have in mind? say, we could take out the police department!"
Quackerjack gulped. He fought the urge to peer into the alley and see just how badly she had thrashed the kid. His curiosity won out and he ducked his head around, took a good look, and then swallowed again.
"A relation, huh?" he mumbled, wondering how close the two were. Negaduck had never mentioned her to him. but then he couldn't have expected him to. The Boss didn't tell the rest of them anything. Celeste certainly was easier to get along with than Negaduck was,
though. "Knocking out the police sounds like a good idea for starters." he said, mischievously, "But let's think a little bigger than that, shall we? If we take out the police system-we can release all the criminals who're in prison! Even if Dimwit Duck were to come back to find us taking over the city, he'd be too busy rounding up purse-snatchers and jaywalkers! Ohh. it's perfect! If I know Darkwing like I think I do, he'll want to arrest every criminal in sight. and while
he's preoccupied, we can meet back up with the boss-err-Steelbeak, and tell him how it went." Quackerjack amended quickly and a little tentatively. He wasn't sure how she'd take his idea, and he didn't fancy being beaten to a pulp like that kid had been.
"Great idea! Shere brillance!" she beamed and kissed him on the cheek,"See, I knew i should stick with you, you're a lot smarter than they give you credit for. Let'as get started." She cracked her knuckles and started off, pausing as she noticed Quackerjack glancing in the ally. "Oh, don't worry 'bout that, I only do that to people who call me that name.." she shuddered and made a face. "I hate that. It's kinda like Megavolt's thing with being called Sparky.
Oh and incase yer wondering what I meant by relation, I'd probably better clarify that. I'm Negaduck's adopted daughter but don't tell everyone, I mean they might think he's going soft if they knew and then he'd have to kill them." She shrugged and walked off toward the police station whistling.
Quackerjack stood for a few seconds in stunned silence, less from the peck on the cheek than the revelation that preceded it. She was Negs' adopted daughter? Wild. "Err. Mental note. Don't say. `The Name'." He said, half to himself.
He enjoyed baiting Megsy, there weren't consequences, like being pummeled, to follow. Maybe a brief electrical shock, but he was used to that. Perhaps when Celeste knew him better and they became real partners in crime, she'd let him call her a different cute nickname, one that she liked. Maybe `Celia,' or `Cee'. And she could call him QJ or Quacky, as opposed to his formal name. A small smirk crept onto his beak at the thought.
He followed her to the outside of the police station, discarding the rest of his beanbags to the recesses of one of his deepest pockets to keep his hands free. He tried to calm the butterflies in his stomach, reminding himself that Darkwing was not likely to appear. there would be no cloud of smoke with a startling simile and a lot of quack-fu pain. If there was, he had Celeste to back him up, anyway. And she had said he was smart. He glowed a little.
"Thanks for the compliment. I don't get them often, but I've just gotten two in the same hour." he commented dryly. He smiled, showing his teeth, and said, reassuringly, "Good luck, Celeste. Don't feel too bad if we get caught; I'll get us out again. And with your Dad's influence. well. I'm sure that you're a natural. You look confident enough to me." he added
Quackerjack sat down next to the wall, staring at it with childish intensity for a full minute. "Alright. This looks pretty strong.they must've fixed it properly since the last time. I'd say a couple is all it'd take, though." He muttered vaguely to himself, his hand diving into a pocket and his mind completely focused on the task at hand. "Good thing I keep so much junk kicking around in here.Aha! Here we go." He withdrew several jacks, holding them gingerly as
though they might explode at any second. His sadistic smile said that they would, as well as his next urgent warning; "Stand well clear, Celi- um.Celeste." He mumbled.
He waited for a few seconds for her to comply, skipped back a couple of steps himself, and then hurled the jacks at the wall. It promptly exploded into a huge gaping hole, and the force caused gray smoke to billow around the scene, making QJ choke. "Yep, they reinforced it
since the last time." he gagged, sarcasm heavy in his voice."Subtle?" Quackerjack coughed, recovering quickly, "No. Fun? Yes." he chuckled evilly. "Come on, they'll be organized in a couple'a minutes, unless they're on their donut break." He urged, jumping forward into the smoke and trusting her to follow. "Let's wreak some mayhem! It's Playyyytime!!"
*** Well I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be
I've been talkin in my sleep Pretty soon they'll come to get me Yeah, they're takin' me away
Well I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be Yeah, How I used to be How I used to be, yeah Well I'm just a little unwell How I used to be (A little unwell) How I used to be I'm just a little unwell