Something hilarious the 'fruit bowl' shared with each other.  It was Pineapple's idea for such a shop, and my sudden idea to have Meryl afraid of clowns.  And of course, Blueberry does a splendid job of performing Vash.  Read and review!

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C L O W N S

~ Insurance Girls

Make them go away!

"Huh, imagine! A place like this in such a small town! Quite a refreshing break from that burlesque house if you ask me..." Why did it seem as though Vash could never have a pleasant day? Anywhere? Someone was always out to ruin it for him. But not today! NOTHING could spoil this day, not with this donut shop in town!

As he rushed over to the window, long red coat trailing behind him, he stopped and pressed his face to the glass like a little kid. "AHAHA!! Look at those chairs! Cool!" His facial expression changed to one of 'aww, how cute!' for a minute, before he rushed inside and go behind the first man in line. Even though he wasn't waiting long, he tapped his foot impatiently and hummed a rushed tune. "C'mon c'mon c'mon..." Little knowing that Meryl had probably caught up with him a lot faster than he bargained for.

Perhaps Meryl would be the one to 'spoil his day'.. didn't she always? What a meanie. But hey, it was her job. Following close behind and observing Vash's strange antics once again, Meryl had her hands on her hips with a slight roll to her eyes before the tall man in red made his way into such a childish place. Where'd this place come from again? Strange, each village had a new and SCARY sight to see everywhere they went. And this one had CLOWNS.

Slowly following Vash inside, Meryl shivered to herself lightly, looking around at the scary 'tables and chairs' of clown heads of the place. Why were they so frightening? They were just too damn happy.-- but wasn't Vash happy all the time, too? Grinding her teeth, she stepped in a little more and stood behind Vash, turning around so her back would be to his; wide gray eyes blinked and stared at the tables as she shivered slightly, trying to stop. She had to go through with this: It was her job!

When it was his turn to order stuff, he said a mouthful. "Hiya! Uh... let's see... I'm going to have... hmm... Gimmie the chocolate frosted, two plain chocolate, one vanilla frosted, two boston cremes, two crullers, one apple flake, five donut holes, three strawberry, and... that should be it! Thanks!" Too bad he didn't have any money... When the cashier asked him to pay for... all that, he began to rifle through his pockets to find... Nothing. "Uh oh."

Hearing Vash as the short insurance girl glanced frantically around the place, she looked over her left shoulder and frowned, reaching in her pocket and taking out enough money to pay for all those damn doughnuts AGAIN, and placed it on the counter in front of him. But strange, Meryl wasn't complaining a bit-- not even saying a word, for that matter. Not even showing the least bit of ANGER! The solution had to be that she was definitely frightened with this place-- but she wouldn't admit that. Just like she wouldn't admit anything else. "......."

"Hey, thanks!" He smiled sweetly at her with closed eyes as he scooped the pile of doughy goodness of the counter and swept it over to the nearest table clown. As he sat down and began to munch on his prize, he noticed something definitely wrong with the insurance girl. "Hey... What's wrong? Usually you complain when I don't have any money on me... Or... You usually just complain in general..." Maybe he was a bit blunt, but it's not like he knew he was. Soon his talking was drowned out with chewing and swallowing noises.

Closing her eyes and grinding her teeth once again, she walked over to the table where Vash was sitting and sat across from him, removing her cloak and placing it ALL AROUND the seat and some of the table as possible. My god... she was sitting on a clown. She laughed obnoxiously and sheepishly hearing Vash as she placed her elbows on the table, keeping her eyes tightly closed as she began to sweat out of nervousness and fear. She needed to chill out. "What are you talking about; I'm not always like that! Don't be silly!"

Taking a brief moment away from... stuffing his face with donuts, he placed down the chocolate frosted he was currently working on and wiped his mouth off. On his sleeve, of course. "I guess you don't get to spend as much time with yourself as I do!" His eyes closed as he smiled to her, before picking up his donut and resuming his eating train. "... Still... *munch* you do seem *snarf* a bit nervous... Expecting *gmph* someone?"

"Expecting someone? You can't be serious, I'm working!" Again with the nervous laugh, she talked rather quickly, flicking her wrist gently as to wave him off. After she spoke, she managed to open her eyes again and look around, not even moving her head. Thank GOD this place didn't have a voice box of a clown's scary laugh. If it did, she would be OUT OF THERE.

"HUH-HUH-HEY PATRONS OF THE SMILING CLOWN! HEE-HEE-HEE, THIS IS THE MANAGER, SMILEY McLAUGHALOT! JUUUUUST MAKIN' SURE YOU'RE ENJOYIN' THE DONUTS! A-HEE-HEE!" A little recording seemingly blared out of nowhere in a shrill, nasal clown voice. Looked like mini speakers were placed on the backs of the seats. Maybe this wasn't such a small town after all!

"Hah hah! That's cool!" Another dimwitted smile. "Hey, Meryl? Why aren't you laughing? Clowns are supposed to make you laugh..."

Okay... maybe not OUT OF THERE, but DEAD. That voice of the clown scared the living hell out of the poor insurance girl; making her jump at the sound of his voice; making her hair stand up; and making her completely still.... until she collapsed to the floor like a statue with her eyes rolled in the back of her head. Poor Meryl Stryfe. She didn't even twitch on the floor-- and she couldn't think from the horrible fear that has struck her that moment.

"Wow, you don't look so good... Maybe we should get out of here..." Then, the poor girl collapsed on the floor, with exorcist like eyes.  Forgetting about the donuts for a moment, he practically leaped out of his seat and landed at her side. "Meryl?! Oh no, something's wrong with her! Hey! Are any of you guy's doctors?" As he spoke to the other donut freaks, he was shaking her side to side by her shoulders in an attempt to get her up off the floor.

No sooner had Vash yelled for a doctor than he heard sirens coming from within the kitchen of the place. In mere moments, a clown car shaped like a hot dog with a clown face pulled up beside Meryl. The door opened, and out came...Smiley! The ER clown! Followed by Rotundo, the obese clown, Jimmy, the Trucker Clown, Walteroon, the FUNNY clown, Dummy the clown, the stupid one, Gummo the clown, the insecure one, and Frank the maintenance man.

"SO, YOUNG PATRON OF THE HAPPY CLOWN DONUT ESTABLISHMENT! TELL DOC SMILEY WHERE THE PROBLEM IS!"  He then pressed a button on his shirt, which shot a stream of water from his lapel flower onto the downed girl's face. "NEVER MIND! I THINK I FOUND HER!" At that, a horn honked three times in the background. Probably Rotundo.

Feeling water on her face all of a sudden, Meryl groaned and opened her gray eyes slowly and softly... expecting to see Vash trying to wake her up. But as the water slid down her cheek and her eyes opened fully, it was not Vash at all. It was something much much much worse. As if things couldn't get worse, Meryl froze, her body tense and her eyes grew wide. It was A SCARY CLOWN, SMILIEY! THE BASTARD!

After a moment of letting reality slap her across the face, Meryl sat up, faster than the speed of light, and threw herself backwards to slam her small form against the chair she once sat. "V-V-VASH!!! What's... what's going on?!" And she couldn't wait for an answer-- no. Suddenly, the petite girl reached behind her and grabbed her cloak filled with 50 derringers, whipping out two in her hand and aiming it towards the silly-ass 'doctors' of her nightmares. "STAY BACK!!" _!!!

Vash was shocked enough at the posse of clown doctors, so much so that he thought the whole thing was a joke, staged by Meryl. "Ohhh... I get it! HA HA!!! That flower shoots water!"  He would be corrected shortly when Meryl bolted like lightning to her feet and pointed guns at the hilarious clown doctors.

Sure, Vash wouldn't want them caring for HIM if he was sick... but this was all staged? Wasn't it? "AH! Put those down, you might accidentally shoot them! And how could you do that? They're hilarious! JUST LOOK AT THAT GUY'S PANTS!"  Laughter laughter.

No no no no, this was no joke-- and Meryl wasn't such a great actress. But this 'acting' that Vash thought she was doing was very serious. Too serious. Meryl had a frightened look upon her facial features-- and right now she wasn't afraid to show it. There were a posse of clowns with all of their eyes on her; it was scaring her half to death.

"Accidentally shoot them?! I will if they don't get away!" And yes, there was a frightening tone in her voice there. Hopefully, Vash would notice it before they had some R.I.P. clowns in there.

Slowly, it was beginning to dawn on him that perhaps this wasn't a set up... That both this group of random clowns and Meryl were both mildly insane... Vash could act grown-up when he wanted to, just that wasn't him. So he didn't do it much. But now...

"Err... guys, I think you're making her a little nervous... I think she's serious... Ok, Meryl... Just... give me your guns... Yeah, that's it... slowly..." Putting one hand on each of her pistols, he slowly pointed them towards the grounds, and then pulled them out of her hands. "There, you don't need these... maybe we should leave..."

Maybe it was the sound of Vash's voice that actually made her a little calmer; her hands were gripped tightly onto her derringers. But surprisingly, she let them go when Vash took them out of her hands. A little shocked now, Meryl stared forward with a blank stare, definitely NOT at one of the clowns, but at the wall as the place became quiet and all eyes were on her. Breathing through her nose a little heavier than usual, Meryl snapped out of her stare to look over at Vash with a very small nod; agreeing that they should leave.