Hey y'all. I re wrote this story, mostly because the way I write has changed and I came to not enjoy uploading as much as I felt my writing style was not doing the characters justice. I hope you guys enjoy the new story line, some things will be the same. I hope you guys enjoy it.
-AN
Chapter 1
Sparks flew from his wand, the light of the moon peeking through the clouds in the enchanted window, resting on his shoulders like the weight of his anger. 'How dare he,' Severus raged silently, 'how dare he presume to think that this job is easy.' Letter in hand, he stalked back and forth, the thought of Dumbledore's smiling face pushing him to rage. His hand swept across his desk, spilling ink, papers, and everything crashed against the wall. He stared down at the ruins of his desk, ink splattered like blood against the stone of the dungeon walls, his frustration building at the fruitlessness of his anger at material objects.
Unsatisfied, he presumed to stalk across the room, throwing open the door to his classroom, snarling at the unassuming students that waited there, ignoring how they stumbled over the edges of their school robes in their haste to get away from underfoot and stormed down the hall towards Dumbledore's office.
A small part of him felt a pang of guilt over terrorizing yet another pair of unsuspecting first years over his own issues, but he simply didn't have the time to think of it at that current moment.
He approached the stone gargoyle, growling the password through seething lips, which happened to be another ridiculous muggle confection, and didn't bother to knock, instead throwing both double doors open and reveling in the satisfying boom as either door hit prospective stone. "What is the meaning of this? Do you think these things just disappear on their own? It is my job and my job only to ensure the task is done." He fumed. Dumbledore, who had been sitting at his desk when he had flung his office doors open, did not even flinch at the sudden intrusion, nor the angry words directed at him. Instead, he smiled softly, and raised his hand, interrupting Severus in that borderline rude way he tended to do.
"You do not need to be angry, Severus. Remus is only trying to help you." Dumbledore stated calmly, "I am sure that this task will be easy to manage with both wizards, especially one as skilled as you."
"This task is mine! If the Dark Lord were to find out another wizard, especially a lycanthrope, were to be trying to find the Potter boy, he would not hesitate in torturing the fool." He snarled, pushing his hair away from his face from when it became dislodged in his frustrated pacing. "Putting him in such a position when he's already trying to infiltrate some of The Dark Lord's werewolf ranks is very risky and could be a detriment to not only our plans, but to the wolf himself." Severus could feel himself starting to gesture with his hands in his frustrations and had to make a conscious effort to stop.
Dumbledore leaned back in his chair, his hands pushed together to form a steeple. His calm gaze was infuriating, did he not realize that the dumb wolf's life was in danger? Severus would be forced to torture him, by the command of the Dark Lord. He shuddered. As much as he despised the mutt, he would not want or wish his death, never less by his hand. He had avoided having to directly torture anyone due to his knowledge and general usefulness with potions and poisons over the years and would like to keep it that way.
The second that thought came into his head, a familiar burning pain seared up his arms, like a hot poker being stuck into every vein. He hissed softly, gripping just over the Dark Mark, trying to stave it off. 'Impeccable timing, as always.' Severus thought bitterly, before turning back to face the insufferable old man.
"The Dark Lord calls me. I must go to him but do not think our conversation is done. You will not have that wolf trying to do my job." Without waiting for a reply, he stalked out of Dumbledore's office, flicking his wand to bang the giant doors shut behind him.
The walk to the edge of the school grounds was quiet, and the night was forecast, although every once in a while, the light of the moon peeked through tiny slits in the clouds. The silence did little to ease his nerves, and he felt the collar of his robes restricting uncomfortably around his neck as he flicked his arm up trying to free his robes from a bramble bush that had snagged onto it.
He apparated directly to Malfoy Manor, ignoring Wormtail's sniveling that had started the second he had laid eyes on Snape. He had fallen out of favor of The Dark Lord and had taken to trying to help him with his tasks, much to his annoyance and dismay.
As he turned to continue on his way, Severus made eye contact with Bellatrix, and by Bellatrix's smirk across the room Severus had an uncomfortable feeling about how this meeting was about to go. Now even more irritated, he stalked across the foyer but was intercepted halfway towards the main hall. Lucius gripped tightly to his forearm, pulling him into a side hallway, and put his hands to his lips.
"Quickly, I must speak with you in private. This matter is urgent." Lucius said softly to him, stealing a worried glance towards the main hall entrance. He led him to a room with white furniture, a chaise and table made of tempered bamboo. "What matter is so urgent that you would pull me aside from the Dark Lord's call?" He narrowed his eyes at Lucius. He knew his old friend well enough to know he wouldn't do something so obvious without important purpose. Lucius cast a Silencing spell and was quiet for several moments before he spoke.
"The Dark Lord will tell you of a task to kill Dumbledore, by my sons' hand. He wishes for my son to join the ranks, and he is angry. He suspects you of spying, withholding information and I fear that if you do not find the Potter boy soon, that you shall be killed. He will enter your mind tonight, do not fight him too much, only withhold what is completely necessary." Lucius spoke rapidly once he started, tugging him towards the door again, and pushed him back out into the hall. "Go, before he notices your absence." Severus' eyes widened in surprise, a feeling of dread pooling like festering pus into the bottom of his ribcage. The Dark Lord's way of entering your mind was nothing short of brutal rape, an action that the foul man-no- monster- reveled in. One of the things he would order his followers to do to break his prisoners before questioning was an action such as that. It was unfortunate that he was fairly intimate with the feeling, being a skilled Occlumens. He swallowed, nodded, and turned heel towards the hall that took him to the Dark Lord.
He entered the main hall, and sat in a chair to the side of Goyle Sr. The inner circle members began to filter into the room, sitting in the chairs around the table, awaiting their master. The Dark Lord entered the room, and all conversation stopped, closing their throats with a well-known fear that held on long after he had left. His repugnant magic held pregnant in the air, like a oily film settling amongst ones skin, his nails seemed to gleam in the dim light of Malfoy Manor. Nagini was by his side, hissing softly to her master, tongue flickering. The Dark Lord seemed amused, and to Severus' building trepidation the slits that held the bloody red orbs he called eyes just happened to connect with his. The Dark Lord paused, holding his gaze for a moment, said something to Nagini, and sat down.
Severus could feel his hand trembling slightly in his lap, and a truly dark thought crossed his mind. He remembered the way Bellatrix had teased and threatened him in the last couple of weeks, saying that The Dark Lord himself had said to her that the wretched snake had requested his body when he was "no longer of any service."
Surely the Dark Lord would not-
"It has come to my attention that the current attempts to kill Dumbledore have not succeeded, as the Malfoy heir has failed to finish his task." The Dark Lord's voice snaked through the air like a hot whip, red eyes flickered over his godson. "Now, what is the punishment for failing a task such as this?" The Dark Lord looked over at Lucius, who paled and seemed to swallow visibly before answering, "The Cruciatus, My Lord?" Whispery, cruel laughter permeated the room, the Deatheaters always ready for a show, as long as it was not them that the Dark Lord turned his concentration to. "You are quite right, Lucius. Care to do the honors? Or does your loyalty to me end here?" The Dark Lord grinned tightly, the action becoming malevolent and cruel, stretched over his skull. Lucius nodded, and drew his wand.
"Draco, stand."
The blonde started, and as much as he tried to hide it, fear clung to the younger Malfoy like a second skin. Shaking ever so slightly, he stood, and held his head up high, looking his father in the eyes. Lucius hesitated for the merest of moments, and by the nod of Narcissa, he whispered, "Crucio." The Malfoy heir's face crumpled from its proud and impassive mask, his eyes twisting closed and his hands curling tightly into fists. He fell to the floor, his head making a sickening cracking noise as it collided with the edge of the oak table, his body spasming wildly, but he did not utter a sound. A minute passed, and the Dark Lord gave Lucius permission to lift the spell, but Draco's body did not stop twitching, even after the spell was lifted. His legs seemed to be doing a demented dance, his fingers curling and uncurling. Severus hastened forward, pulling a vial out of his robes, and forced the liquid down the Malfoy's throat, coaxing it down gently through a couple of well aimed spells. His tremors ceased, and the Dark Lord laughed, high and almost joyfully.
"Now onto other matters. Severus, it has come to my attention that only four out of ten times we have been successful with the information you have brought in as a spy, these raids against us have been stopped or intercepted by Aurors or even Dumbledore himself. It would be very unwise to be dishonest towards your master, don't you think?" Voldemort smiled then, a ghastly and sickening slit, lifting his hand and beckoning Severus forward. "I think it would be very good to see some of your...encounters first hand, as it will. Open your mind to me, Severus."
He made eye contact with Severus, and images flashed in his head, Dumbledore speaking of raiding Malfoy Manor, his quest to find Harry Potter, the failed attempt to vanquish the Dark Lord, all things that Severus had already told him, or things he had experienced firsthand. Severus could feel every touch inside of his head, every scrape of nails along memories, everything held private inside of his head being torn open, revealing nothing that the Dark Lord did not already know. He pushed away the conversations with Dumbledore, his private thoughts about the Dark Lord, his pain, his fear, and tried to hold on to the corners of his mind where they seemed close to bursting. His temple pulsed as the Dark Lord finally withdrew from his mind, smirking.
"It seems that the accuser of your treachery was, in fact, wrong. McNair, step forward." McNair's eyes widened in fear, the whites of his eyes flashing as he stood and walked to stand in front of the Dark Lords chair. "Crucio." The Dark Lord seemed to say it lazily, disinterested in watching one of his dear followers squirm on the ground with pain. As McNair was being tortured, a seemingly lifeless body floated overhead into the room. The small gasps of pain indicated she was alive, but only just and in a considerable amount of pain.
She looked around the room with squinted eyes, and made eye contact with Severus. Almost instantly, the smallest spark of hope shot through her eyes and she tensed against the invisible spell that kept her suspended. Severus had to will himself not to look away from the gruesome sight of her.
The Dark Lord ceased the spell on McNair, and instead focused his attention on the witch floating above their heads. "To those of you who do not know, we are joined tonight by Miss Charity Burbage, who until recently, taught at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Her specialty was Muggle Studies." A tittering of harsh laugher was heard in the expansive space that made up the twisted hall that Voldemort had taken to calling his grand dining room.
"It is Miss Burbage's belief that muggles are not so different from us. She would, given her way, have us mate with them." Disgusted noises erupted in the room. "To her, the mixture of magical and muggle blood is not an abomination. That its something to be encouraged." Her eyes flickered wildly at that, fear emanating from her tortured body. Flecks of white spittle flew from her mouth as she feverishly whispered, "Severus." Her hair flickered in the open air, thirty cruel eyes watching her gleefully. "Severus, please. We...We're friends." She gasped.
Severus watched her face, holding a blank mask over his but he could feel his façade cracking. The Dark Lord's eyes flickered, a silent madness showing through him as he laughed again. "Friends? I do not think so." He paused, flicked out his wand, and said, "Avada Kedavera." It was instant. He ripped his eyes away just as she started to go limp in the air. Any tenseness in her body had left her. Lifeless, her body thumped onto the table, her hands uncurling. Severus' mind recoiled in horror, the body of one of his coworkers, one of which had only shown him kindness, lay before him.
"See to it that you find Harry Potter soon. I do not need to remind you if you fail." The Dark Lord hissed, staring at him. "Yes, My Lord." With those words, Severus turned tail and fled, the heavy soles of his shoes giving away the tiniest bit of his haste to leave.
The second he had Apparated back to the edges of Hogwarts' grounds, Severus released a breath he had not even realized he had been holding, feeling the damp ancient forest that surrounded him start to cling with the fog onto the wool garments he wore.
His robes felt too tight, his hands too hot and wet and cold all at the same time. Fingers slipping at the first few buttons around his neck, he cursed audibly and inwardly at the inordinate amount of buttons, sweat beading and reflecting the light of the moon off his forehead. With all too great a struggle for such a small task, Severus managed to loosen the front of his robes enough to dispel the surmounting feeling of his Masters snake tightening around his neck, and watched as his breath puffed small hot clouds into the cold night. What felt like seconds -but he knew had been longer than a few minutes due to his freezing fingertips- flew by as he stared aimlessly into the forest, his arms limp and listless at his sides, eyes going dry and unblinking.
Just as he had started to recollect himself and draw away from what he knew was going to be a long and uncomfortable outburst of emotions later in the privacy of his own quarters, a slight haze of the surrounding fog caught his attention as an approaching light near a forbidden footpath through the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest. Severus blinked, then straightened in annoyance at the thought of catching yet another pair of students sneaking off to do who knows what (Severus didn't care nor did he want to know) for the third time this night, especially after what had occurred at the meeting. He knew he had already wasted time standing there...doing whatever he had been doing.
The light grew stronger as whoever it was drew nearer, and Severus stood silently in the shadows of the crop of trees that lined the fence. To his surprise, Madame Sprouts stately frame came into view. She knelt from time to time, inspecting something along the edges of the footpath. He contemplated making a sound to warn her he was there, but as if she had sensed him, she looked up and made eye contact.
The look on his face must have gave something away, for in that split moment, Sprouts face changed from his mirrored surprise to a more compassionate and soft expression, her more maternal and rounded features conveying her tenderness to him without saying a single word. His feelings too close to the surface from moments before her appearance, Severus felt moisture begin to collect around the edges of his eyesight, and he tilted his head upwards, breaking their gaze as if to stare at the moon, but he was almost positive (to his embarrassment) that she would know exactly what he was trying-or not trying- to do.
Their- if somewhat reluctant in the beginning on his part- friendship had started with him getting caught early on stealing from some of her more hidden and private greenhouses when he had still been a student at Hogwarts himself. He had thought his Charms would be enough to hide any sound or detection of half of his rear end sticking out of the side of one of the windows, but alas, of course a professor with enough experience behind her belt to be as old as him would obviously have some more advanced security that some second year wouldn't have been able to produce, never less detect and dismantle.
She had deducted 40 points from Slytherin house, and had made Severus come back for several weeks to help her prune some of her more unruly and spiky plants. He wasn't completely unobservant, it became clear to him after the 5th time, and they had been working for over an hour past his allotted detention time and he had not noticed -due to her very detailed and enthusiastic explanation of a Venomous Tentacula and their adaptations to hunting many different species of live prey- that she was not making these detentions as much of a punishment as she was educating him and feeding his desires to learn.
Now, she stood from her kneeling position, hands covered in a thin film of dirt and the edges of her skirt collecting moisture from the grasses around her feet.
"Severus."
He felt himself stifle a flinch, his name said in such a fond way always tended to make him uneasy.
She repeated his name, and started to close the space between them. With a small shuddering breath, Severus looked back at her and stepped out from the overhang of the trees, holding still as she reached up and put her small, strong hand on his shoulder. They stood together like that for many moments, both their breath mingling in the air above their heads, finding comfort in the simple company.
After some time, her hand slipped from his arm and she started towards the trail she had originally come from. Only once did she look back, then continued down and out of sight, leaving him to think of the many things troubling his mind.