Willow enters what was once Mrs. Summer's room, which now was covered by
old pieces of parchments due to Willow's magickal research. Among the
muddled up mess Willow takes out a notebook filled with records of
articles. She rips it out and begins writing.
**
Hate. That's all I'm feeling. Hate my friends, hate my life and hate Buffy. It's been a few months, since the accident. The anger, the depression, the happiness, all of it is gone. Only hate left. I can't stand how she left us like this, leaving her little sister behind. Leaving my friends behind. Leaving me behind. I was her best friend. Key word, best. I know I shouldn't be mad because of her death, but I need to get out all this treachery, all this angst. Everyone is so depressed; I'm the only one trying to put on the happy mask. Everyone thinks I'm being insensitive, everyone but Tara. Every night before I lay my head we cry together to get out all our negativity. This night I'm not gonna, this night I'm gonna write my heart out.
I can feel the darkness fulfilling me. It wont stop manifesting until she is back, which will be never. Only Tara may help me. She is the only person that makes me happy in life. When I'm around her I feel like the world has left for a while. The world is an exact replica of hell. Tara is my heaven to me. Her words are wise and gentle like the Goddess. She is so pretty that it blinded me for life. I wont be able to think anything is beautiful besides her. She doesn't hurt emotionally anything…or at least I thought so until it happened. When Tara lost her sanity I thought she would never be the same. I thought that I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I felt so angry. Yet also I felt happy. For a split second this is what she got herself into. Mocking my usage of magick. Sure, she's concern but hey- it's my will. I hoped she'd get better but at the same time I hope she learned something from this. Little did I know it would scar her for life.
Dawn is going really rebellious. She is skipping school and making me do her homework. I try to hide my rage but she lost too many people already. Yet, for now, since I still kinda feel like bitching, she is such a brat. She is really getting annoying with all this 'Buffy would let me do it', alls she does is whine and complain. In the darkest shadows of my mind I sometimes wish…the priests never turned her into Buffy's sister. If they made her out of Buff, how can she be such a pain in the ass?
Anya and Xander seem to be acting weird. Something is going on, I can sense it. Maybe Anya is pregnant? Or Xander proposed to her. Yea right haha! Xander asking Anya to get married? Anya only cares for herself. I think I'm gonna stick with the Anya is pregnant idea and not say anything cause it's kinda scary. Just think, demonic Xanders? Erk!
The BuffyBot is a total failure. Sure, her technology is great but her personality is completely screwed. She is nothing like the real Buffy, I can barely remember Buff's jokes. I'm gonna try a little robotic trick, called memory loop, where she can account past fights so she can actually create strategic plans. I tried to hack the programs code but I keep getting the 'ACCESS DENIED' message. I might as well give up and battle the forces of evil on my own. My powers have grown since I first began. No one would be better than Buffy…except herself. And she aint coming back…unless…
**
Willow suddenly notices the door gently open. It was Tara. "Hey sweetie, what you up to?"
Willow paused silently looking at what she wrote. She slowly looked up and replied "Nothing…" She looked at the notebook again and the text disappeared.
END OF PART ONE
**
Hate. That's all I'm feeling. Hate my friends, hate my life and hate Buffy. It's been a few months, since the accident. The anger, the depression, the happiness, all of it is gone. Only hate left. I can't stand how she left us like this, leaving her little sister behind. Leaving my friends behind. Leaving me behind. I was her best friend. Key word, best. I know I shouldn't be mad because of her death, but I need to get out all this treachery, all this angst. Everyone is so depressed; I'm the only one trying to put on the happy mask. Everyone thinks I'm being insensitive, everyone but Tara. Every night before I lay my head we cry together to get out all our negativity. This night I'm not gonna, this night I'm gonna write my heart out.
I can feel the darkness fulfilling me. It wont stop manifesting until she is back, which will be never. Only Tara may help me. She is the only person that makes me happy in life. When I'm around her I feel like the world has left for a while. The world is an exact replica of hell. Tara is my heaven to me. Her words are wise and gentle like the Goddess. She is so pretty that it blinded me for life. I wont be able to think anything is beautiful besides her. She doesn't hurt emotionally anything…or at least I thought so until it happened. When Tara lost her sanity I thought she would never be the same. I thought that I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I felt so angry. Yet also I felt happy. For a split second this is what she got herself into. Mocking my usage of magick. Sure, she's concern but hey- it's my will. I hoped she'd get better but at the same time I hope she learned something from this. Little did I know it would scar her for life.
Dawn is going really rebellious. She is skipping school and making me do her homework. I try to hide my rage but she lost too many people already. Yet, for now, since I still kinda feel like bitching, she is such a brat. She is really getting annoying with all this 'Buffy would let me do it', alls she does is whine and complain. In the darkest shadows of my mind I sometimes wish…the priests never turned her into Buffy's sister. If they made her out of Buff, how can she be such a pain in the ass?
Anya and Xander seem to be acting weird. Something is going on, I can sense it. Maybe Anya is pregnant? Or Xander proposed to her. Yea right haha! Xander asking Anya to get married? Anya only cares for herself. I think I'm gonna stick with the Anya is pregnant idea and not say anything cause it's kinda scary. Just think, demonic Xanders? Erk!
The BuffyBot is a total failure. Sure, her technology is great but her personality is completely screwed. She is nothing like the real Buffy, I can barely remember Buff's jokes. I'm gonna try a little robotic trick, called memory loop, where she can account past fights so she can actually create strategic plans. I tried to hack the programs code but I keep getting the 'ACCESS DENIED' message. I might as well give up and battle the forces of evil on my own. My powers have grown since I first began. No one would be better than Buffy…except herself. And she aint coming back…unless…
**
Willow suddenly notices the door gently open. It was Tara. "Hey sweetie, what you up to?"
Willow paused silently looking at what she wrote. She slowly looked up and replied "Nothing…" She looked at the notebook again and the text disappeared.
END OF PART ONE