Metiphorical Demise

I didn't type this on my usual program, so no spell check, and it's 3 in the mourning, so please forgive any mistakes.

C.o.M.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, this stands for the entire fic.

The great Koenma, prince of the Spirit World, more commonly known as Reiki, was for the first time sence he can't remember when, finished with his paperwork. He sat at his desk, sucking on his pacifier in disbelief. He was missing something, he knew it.

But there were no documents in his 'IN' basket, all of them were neatly piled in the one on the opposite end of his desk, clearly labled 'OUT.' He checked sevral times, just to be sure. Alright, no papers to push, so that wasn't what had to be done.

There was something, he knew it. Reiki Tentai...? Getting closer, he could feel it. No new missions, it seemed that all the demons that needed to be concerned with didn't feel like getting their butts kicked, so it had to be something about one of the members...

Yusuke... currently training with Genkai, everything was fine there. Kuwabara... at school, being the good little punk, or umm, as good as punks get. Kurama... At school and at home with his human family, there were no new infractions to his name, he dosen't cause any trouble. He fullfilled all of the terms of his proba-.....

"THAT'S IT!!!" Koenma yelled, startling his Oni out of his nap. "Ogre," he commanded. "Fetch me the probation records for Hiei Jaganshi."

"Yes Koenma, sir," the afforementioned Oni mumbled and loped off to the record room. Moments later he retuned, Koenma took the folder and promptly opened it.

The record contained all the necessaries. Picture, description, a list of the condemned crimes, and... Bull's- Eye. A short piece on the punishment:

"Through much dileberation, the council has decided to place Jaganshi into program 392. The criteria of this punishment is as follows: The condemned must remain in Nengenki (human world). A tracer will be temporarly placed on their youki so that their movements may be watched. During their time in the Ningenki the condemned will be placed under the services of the closest available Tentai. The condemned will also be required to maintain regular positive contact with humans. This contact with humans, as well as services to the Reiki, will be continued without lax for the condemned during the entire period of time which has been determined for their punishment. If these requirements are not met by the fourth month of the program, they are to be removed from the program and another punishment will be sought."

"Well, that's fine for Kurama, he lives with humans," the Reiki Prince mumbled. "But Hiei is another matter all together. He has no regular contacts with humans, I'll have to arrange something."

"Over my dead body," a voice spat.

Koenma's head shot up. There was a black clad figure leaning against the door frame to his office. Blood red eyes set firmly in a glare that promised an excrutiatingly painful death by the most horrid ways imaginable.

"Hiei, what are you doing here?"

"Th-that was me Koenma, sir. When you said you wanted Jaganshi's records, I asumed you wanted him as well. So I summoned him here, I hope you're not upset." The Oni said, bowing deeply.

"Well, I didn't want him, Ogre, but this saves time."

"There is no way in fucking Hell that I'm going to go traipsing around one of those 'malls' with an insignificant, pansy, weak little ningen who is not worthy of breathing the same air as I do."

"Well, you don't have a choice in the matter. It's in the terms of your probation." Koenma paused, his eyes narowing in suspicion. "How do you know that you need to associate with humans?"

"You were reading out loud," the fire demon sneered.

"Oh," Koenma sweatdropped and quickly recovered. "Well, I do agree with you in one part. We can't have you actually being in the presence of a human, given your attitude about them. So we'll just have to arrange something else-"

Just then a ferry-girl softly knocked on the open door frame and quickly scuttled in. Quickly placing a thin manilla folder on Koenma's 'IN' basket she quickly bowed and took her leave. Tuning out Hiei's vehement rants and curses at the moment he picked up the folder and skimmed the contents. It concerned humans, or more specifically, one human. However the problem that arose was rectified by other humans present, so it was nothing to be concerned with. Spirit World just needed a record, and Koenma needed to see it. Noticing a helpful little tidbit Koenma stamped the folder, but did not put it in the 'OUT' basket. He loved his genus mind very, very much.

"Damned fucking Demi-Gods who can't seem to get their putrid pacifier out from their asses. It must be a very common fucking mistake, concitering there is hardly a difference between their ass and their face. Stupid cum-sucking-gutter-sluts running Reiki and dishing out assinine-"

"HIEI!!" Koenma bellowed, stopping the raving demon mid-sentence. "I have the solution."

Affore mentioned fire demon glared, his left eye twitching.

"You will not actually be in the presence of a human, you won't even have to hear their voices."

Hiei's eye stopped twitching, but he still glared demise.

"Instead you will undergo correspondence. Writing letters back and forth with a human. This human." Koenma said lifting up the newly stamped record. "Concitering that today, ironically enough, is the last day of the deadline, you will have to supply a letter by tonight and have it in the mail by tomorrow mourning at the very latest. You will maintain this correspondence, sending out a letter no later than a week after every reply." Koenma scribbled out the name and adress in the folder onto a spare piece of paper and healed it out to Hiei. "Do this, and the terms of your probation will be concitered complete."

Hiei stalked over to the Prince of the Spirit World and snached the paper out of his hands and abruptly flitted away.

Placing both floders in his 'OUT' basket, the all mighty and merciful demi-ruler of the Reiki settled in for a well diserved break.

Things to do in chapter 2: Find out who Hiei has to write to (OC duh, but I'll try not to make the charecter boring.) Ask Kurama for help and adventures at the post office. Review please!!

C.o.M