"So Amy," the bespectacled beaver sitting in front of me smiled warmly, looking perfectly at ease in the faded brown armchair. "Why don't you tell me why you decided to come here today?"

I rubbed the edge of the fabric of my seat, feeling suddenly shy.

"If that's too difficult, why don't you just tell me how you've been feeling lately?"

I glanced around the room, trying to find something in the surroundings that I could pretend to be distracted by while I stalled for time. I didn't know how I was feeling - that was the problem. It was like I was standing on sand, watching as the sea disappeared into the horizon; a tsunami was coming, one that would overcome me, and it was so much bigger than I could ever describe …

"Write it all down," Sonic had said last night. "Everything you want to talk about." I'd tried but putting the words on paper made it feel so unnatural. I'd spent so long bottling everything up, and if I broke the seal it would all pour out of me too quickly to put pen to paper - or fingers to keyboard. I'd started three times before giving up.

"Amy?"

The walls were light grey. There was a single decoration on the wall - a Van Gogh print of fishing boats. The carpet was the dull beige colour of overcooked oatmeal. There was a box of tissues on the little table next to me. I couldn't understand why this woman would choose to make her working space so nondescript, but it dawned on me that it could be a strategy, so her patients couldn't get distracted by ornaments and colourful patterns …

She repeated my name, gentler this time. I swallowed.

"I believe in you, Ames."

"When I was a kid, my mother met this … guy."

Telling the therapist was surprisingly more difficult than telling my friends. It was even harder than telling Sonic. Then, I'd been confiding in people that I knew and trusted, people my own age, and it had happened because I'd been overwhelmed with emotion. The whole process of booking an appointment, being driven to Knothole, and sitting down in front of a smiling woman with a notebook made the whole thing feel weirdly formal … and real. Hey world, here is the official on-the-record story of my trauma.

Enjoy!

But I'd rather tell the story to a hundred different therapists, than have to go through the process of telling my mother again.

I didn't want to think about it. The horror on her face, the silent stream of tears that rolled down her cheeks as she sat there, taking it in. I was intentionally vague about the details of what he'd done, and I was scared that she'd ask me for them. I didn't remember, and what little I did remember I had shoved so deeply into a locked box in the corner of my mind that the memories themselves were hazy - though the emotions that came with them were so potent that it was like I was still there.

But she only asked me one thing.

"Why didn't you tell me?" her voice was unusually steady, in spite of the tear-stains on her face.

I bit my lip.

"Amy. Why didn't you tell me?"

"H-he threatened you," I whispered. "He told me he'd-he'd …"

I didn't need to finish the sentence because she let out a blood-chilling sound, a wail like a dying creature. Any last resolve she had crumbled, and she put her head in her hands and sobbed. Suddenly I was a child again, in our old apartment, the morning after he died, watching her wail at the kitchen table …

My vision blurred and suddenly I was crying too. The sound seemed to trigger something primal in her, some instinct, because she held out her arms and I fell into her embrace, still crying. She tried to wrap herself around me, hold me on her lap, but I was almost the same height as her so she couldn't do it with any grace. So she clung to me and we wept.

"I'm so sorry," she kept saying, whispering it over and over again into my hair. "I'm so so sorry, I'm so sorry Amy, I'm so sorry darling - "

"I'm sorry," I wailed.

"No. No no no, you have nothing to be sorry - "

"If it wasn't for me, you'd have a nicer life." I said, cutting her off. "You - you could have gone to college, and done graphic design and - and you would have met someone nice and normal, and you'd - "

"Look at me," she said sharply. "Look at me, Amelia Rose."

I choked back a sob and pulled away so I could meet her gaze. Her eyes were still shining, but the tears had stopped falling. There was something unnerving about the way she was looking at me, the intensity of her gaze. She cupped my cheek and stroked it gently three times.

"Having you was the best decision that I ever made," she told me. "The. Best. Decision. I have never regretted it for a second. I love you and Abigail equally, but without you coming first, I never would have had her. I never would have realised how much I loved being a mother-"

"Then why did you leave?" It took a second for me to register the look on her face - like I'd slapped her - to realise that I'd said it out loud. I'd mentioned the thing that we didn't ever talk about …

"If I was so important to you then why did - why did you try to kill yourself?" I swallowed. "Why did you try to leave me?"

Her entire face crumpled. "Because I felt like I wasn't enough for you. God, I know how that sounds - I see now how out of my mind I was. I wasn't able to take care of you, Amy. I wasn't able to be the mother you deserved. I'll never stop being sorry for how badly I let you down back then, but I truly thought that you would just … be better off without me. That you should be with my parents, or June - " she paused to wipe the tears from her face. "Then I found out that I was pregnant again and I was just so scared, because I was already failing with you - "

"You didn't," I whispered. "You were - are - a great mother."

She let out a laugh - a sharp, hollow sound. "It turns out that I was worse than I ever could have imagined. I failed at my most basic job - keeping you safe."

I shook my head furiously. "No - no, that's not fair. You didn't know - you couldn't -"

"Amy," she reached out and grabbed my hand, silencing me. "Amy. You're allowed to be angry with me. For everything."

I shook my head again.

"You are," she repeated. "You have every right to be. For not keeping you safe. For not being able to provide enough for you, growing up. For not talking to you about … any of it. Honestly, I think part of me hoped that you'd forgotten that night, or had been too young to know what was going on. And then June was so angry …"

"June?" It was hard to imagine Aunt June, with the floaty scarves and camomile tea, getting angry.

"Yes. Yes, she told me that there was nothing on earth that would make her want to leave Rosy. That's when I realised what a mistake I'd made. I wanted a fresh start for you and Abigail. I wanted to be the mother that you girls deserved."

"You were," I whispered. I meant it when I said it. In spite of everything, the horrible dark things that had happened, they were buried beneath memories of cuddles on the couch, of grilled-cheese sandwiches and sitcom reruns, of kisses on bruised knees, and the tender look on her face as she carefully lifted all of my old art projects out of the box she'd packed them in, and stuck them up all over the kitchen. She wasn't perfect. She'd let me down. But I loved her.

"What do we do now?" I asked her. It had seemed simpler outside, talking to Sonic - going to counseling, maybe getting medication or learning some coping mechanisms for my panic attacks. The information was readily available online. But here in our kitchen, the world suddenly seemed so big. The road ahead looked treacherous.

"I don't know darling," she said. "But we're going to get through it together. One day at a time."

The following day Mom suggested that I stay home from school. Once upon a time I would have done it - I would have hidden under the covers, nursing my wounds. There wasn't anything wrong with that. It was important to take care of yourself. But I had spent enough time alone in my bedroom. I knew that, as hard as it was to get up, get dressed, and get out the door, that the best thing I could do for myself was go to school and see my friends.

To see Sonic.

My stomach twisted as the bus approached the gates - but my chest fluttered, and I knew that this was not the deep dark anxiety, but the altogether more manageable nerves you got when you were about to see your crush.

Except he wasn't just my crush anymore.

My chest tightened. I nearly tripped in my eagerness to step onto the tarmac, every bone in my body suddenly turning to jelly as I made my way towards the concrete planters where they were gathered; they were talking frantically but fell silent as I approached. I swallowed, forcing back the urge to run.

"Hey guys," I said weakly. I couldn't quite meet anyone's gaze - especially not Sonic's. I'd texted them all over the weekend, thanking them for the support, but seeing them all here just reminded me of the last time we'd all been together. "What's up?"

They all fidgeted, looking uncomfortable. Nobody seemed to know what to say. I saw the worried expressions on their faces and resisted the urge to cry. I didn't want to ignore what had happened, I just didn't want to talk about it right now. This was exactly what I'd been afraid of - that everyone would start treating me differently. I was about to open my mouth and let it all rush out again when -

"So uh, did you see the final episode of Game of Thrones?" Knuckles let out a yelp as Tikal elbowed him. "What? I'm just asking a question!"

"You could be a little more sensitive-"

"I haven't yet," I said. "I've heard … less-than-positive things."

"It was awful," Knuckles shook his head. "I watched it with Silver and Blaze yesterday - man, what a load of shit. Right guys?"

I saw Silver and Blaze exchange a look. Silver's eyes flickered to me and understanding seemed to dawn on his face. "It was pretty bad," he affirmed. "Blaze had to leave the room."

"It was even more painful as a fan of the books," she said. Our eyes met and her mouth curved into a smile. "I'd be willing to rewatch it if you wanted to come over?"

"We can rewatch the whole season - make a drinking game out of it," Knuckles grinned. He caught my eye and winked. The realisation that this had been his plan all along - to ease the tension, to make me comfortable - hit me like a bolt of lightning and I smiled back at him. Everyone seemed to physically relax, cracking jokes and making suggestions for a post-finals watch-party. I relaxed too, letting their laughter wash over me.

I knew that I could have talked to them if I'd wanted to. I knew that I would. But this was nice for now. Things were back to the way they were …

Except for the way Sonic stepped into place beside me as we all made our way inside, his fingers brushing mine ever so slightly. The contact sent a jolt through me and I looked up at him, his eyes asking me what his mouth wasn't able to.

How was it that after everything that had happened this weekend, this was the scariest thing I'd been faced with?

But if I'd learned anything over the last few days, it was that I was strong enough to face anything. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly, and our fingers remained intertwined as we walked all the way to our lockers.

Finals season came and went in a blur of flashcards, energy drinks, and late-night group study sessions. I knew that my studies had taken a backseat this year, so I really felt the pressure to cram, highlighting my English papers and trying to decipher quadratic equations. It didn't help that there was a brand new distraction in my life …

Because there was Sonic, saving me a seat in the library. Even though we couldn't speak, we'd pull our chairs closer together until our knees were touching and I could smell his shower-gel. I'd stare at the words on the page without taking them in.

Those first few weeks were simultaneously extremely awkward and unexpectedly comfortable. It was easy to have conversations like we used to, to talk about movies and make jokes about what had happened in History class. But the silences felt different - like there was a crackle in the air, a weight of expectation. It was hard to find a time or a place to do more than hold hands.

Until one day, he slammed his textbook shut and stood up. "I need some fresh air. You coming?"

I would have gone anywhere he wanted me to.

He led me out onto the track. I took in a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of fresh air after having spent an entire class period fenced in by bookshelves. I stretched my arms out and spun around in a circle.

"Enjoying yourself?" Sonic laughed.

"I'm pretty sure I was in danger of turning into a statue," I retorted. "It's nice to actually move my limbs."

"Well in that case," he grinned. "Let's put them to the test. I'll race you."

"You're on," I said, tossing my backpack to the ground. He followed suit and the two of us started running. My heart felt like it was going to burst from exhilaration - the wind in my hair, the blue sky ahead of us … I missed this.

Sonic beat me - of course he did. He was leaning against the fence when I skidded to a halt in front of him, his eyes gleaming as he watched me catch my breath.

"Congratulations," I said. "You beat me. All hail the track-master."

"That's a terrible nickname."

"The Super-Speedster."

"Worse."

"The Blue Blur?"

"That's … slightly less awful."

"You're welcome," I said. Silence settled between us both. I suddenly realised that this was the first time we'd been alone together since we were outside my house.

"So …"

"So …?"

"So you won," I said slowly. "Doesn't that mean you get like, a medal or something? I don't know how it works."

He let out a sharp laugh, rubbing the back of his neck in a gesture that I recognised as nervousness. "Well unless you have a medal in your bag …"

"Damn. I knew I'd forgotten something when I left the house this morning!" I said, slapping the side of my head in a pantomime of forgetfulness. This time his laugh was more genuine, his face splitting into a grin. The sound was contagious and soon I was giggling too. And just like that the tension was gone; I stepped towards him. He took a step towards me.

"I mean, I guess if you really think I should get a prize …" he said slowly. "There's one thing that I can think of?"

"And what's that?"

"Well … " he trailed off. I held my breath as his hands found their way to my waist. "You could kiss me."

His eyes were intense, focused … He leaned in closer …

I ducked my head, suddenly overcome with the urge to laugh. "I'm sorry!" I said. "I'm sorry, I know I kind of started it but … I was just hit by how cheesy this is."

"Well damn Ames," he sighed. "I'm trying to be cute."

"You don't have to try. You're extremely cute," I said softly. "Literally the cutest person on the planet."

"I guess that the aliens have me beat."

"Oh yeah," I said. "I hate to tell you, but once we invent mainstream passenger space-travel, it's over for us. I'm going to find myself a Martian man."

"Well in that case," his grip on my waist tightened and my heart fluttered in my chest. "I guess I'd better make the most of this while I still can…"

"Agreed," I grinned. He leaned in again and this time I didn't laugh - I leaned into it. Already it felt more natural, my hands instinctively moving upwards to his hair, his arms tightening around my waist ...

Victory might be sweet, but this was even sweeter.

After that it was surprisingly easy. We basically just acted like we always had - passing notes in History class, racing each other on the track field, having stupid nonsensical text conversations late into the night. The only difference was that now we could actually do something about the weird romantic tension that had always existed between us. It took a little while for me to understand that I could just … hug him whenever I wanted, kiss his cheek when we parted ways before a class, that I could lean in and enjoy it when he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. For a few weeks it seemed like everyone's eyes were on us - the first day we walked into school together holding hands I heard one of the upperclassmen shout "about fucking time!", so it seemed like everyone had been invested in our weird little slowburn.

"One day I wanted to grab a fire extinguisher, the next I wanted to grab a gallon of gasoline and set the whole damn thing ablaze!" Bunnie Rabbot told us, shaking her head and smiling. She's stopped us on the way to the cafeteria. "Now if one of you lovebirds could tell me where Rouge is I'd sure appreciate it, because I've got to collect my winnings …"

"Was everyone betting on us?" Sonic asked loudly, dropping his tray onto our table and looking around the cafeteria with disbelief.

"Blame Manic," Knuckles grunted. "He's the one who got it going."

Sonic rolled his eyes. "Man, I swear if this has made him money - "

"- it will have been worth it, because you got an amazing girlfriend out of it." Rouge finished with a sly smirk. She didn't seem too upset about her loss.

Sonic grinned. "Exactly!" His eyes flickered towards me and he threw his arm around my shoulder. I could feel my cheeks warm up - I was still adjusting to this - but for once I didn't have to bite back my smile. I looked across the table to see Silver's eyes were focused on something behind me. Blaze seemed to notice this at the same time as me, and as she was sitting beside him she had a clear view of what he was looking at.

"Sally seems to be taking things well," she noted, adjusting her glasses.

I quickly turned around; Sally and Nicole were sitting together, along with Tangle, Whisper, and some coding-club people I knew only vaguely through Tails. Nicole was doing most of the talking, and Sally seemed to really be listening to what she was saying - not just nodding politely like she did so often, but actually listening and enjoying the conversation. She was smiling, laughing loudly …

"Really well," Tikal noted. "I guess that being dumped by you agrees with her, Sonic."

"Technically she's the one that did the dumping," Sonic pointed out. "But yeah. You're right. Good for her."

I looked sharply at him. A flood of thoughts started to rush through my brain - is he sad about it? Does he regret the break-up? Does he miss her? Does he really love you? - but I saw the small smile playing on his lips, the warm glow in his eyes, and I knew that he was genuinely relieved to see her so happy.

I was too. I thought back to our conversation in the car when we went to reunite Elias and Megan … Sally deserved to be happy.

"She's really missed Nicole," I told them - there was no reason why it had to be secret. "I think they had kind of drifted apart since Nicole and Fiona started dating. Now they can hang out more."

"That makes sense," Blaze nodded. Everyone murmured in agreement - except for Silver. Something flickered behind his eyes, some kind of knowing look, and he sucked in his lips, as though he was fighting the urge to smile. I stared quizzically at him. I remembered the night of Sally's party, the weird amount of insight he had into the whole love triangle - "You think I can't tell when someone's in love with their best friend?"

Was there something he wasn't telling us? I internally shook my head - this was Silver we were talking about. Just look at how everyone knew about his feelings for Blaze.

"Amy," Rouge said as we all started making our way to class after lunch. "I have a proposition for you …"

Things at home were changing. Mom was putting together a portfolio for a community-college graphic design course. Abigail abandoned gymnastics class for soccer training - my sister, the jock. The three of us spent more evenings together, watching movies and eating pasta-bake in our pyjamas.

Mom took his picture down from the fridge. No drama, no scene. She told Abigail it must have fallen off and ended up in the bin, which she accepted without question. I knew that she'd have to know one day and it broke my heart. But we didn't have to think about it right now. The anniversary of his death came and went without remark.

I knew it wasn't all suddenly fixed. Sometimes I caught mom staring at me with a sad haunted look in her eyes. I heard her crying in her room one night when I was getting a glass of water. She was speaking in a muffled voice to someone on the phone -

"I have to think of my kids." Pause. A Sniff. "I'm not saying that … I'm just saying that I need to take a step back. We need to take a step back." Another pause. "Yes. Yes, exactly. Just take things slower … a lot slower. Right. Yes, that would be for the best … Okay. I love you."

I turned around and went back to my bed, the water forgotten. I was racked with guilt; I knew how much mom loved Matthew - and how much he loved her. I really liked him. He was a good guy. But at the same time, I understood why mom would want to take a step back. Her confidence in herself, in her judgement, was completely shattered after what I'd told her.

The irony was, I felt she'd actually made healthy choices with her relationship with Matthew. She hadn't dated anyone for years, she'd gotten to know herself better, let herself heal after two major heartbreaks. She waited to introduce us all to each other.

But part of me also felt relieved that they would take things slow. I'd had a feeling that she was planning on asking him to move in soon, based on the nights he'd been spending at our place, and the way she casually compared our house to his apartment. As much as I liked Matthew, as much as I trusted him, I wasn't ready for a new male presence here.

The weekend after Finals, and mom told me that she had found a counsellor for me. I could start when school broke off for the Summer.

"So how was it?"

"It was … fine."

"Ames," his voice was muffled, but I could hear his concern. I pulled the covers over my head and shut my eyes tightly, imagining his face in front of me - the curve of his mouth, the crease of his brow, the intensity in his eyes …

"Ames," he repeated, softer this time. "Do you want to tell me more?"

I took a deep breath. "You know when you first start running?"

"Yeah?"

"It was like that. It felt awful … like, I just had to keep pushing myself through until the end. I couldn't breathe. I wanted to throw up. I'm so exhausted right now - I actually went right to bed after. It was unbearable."

"Oh Ames-"

"But it will get better," I continued. "It will get easier. I just have to … keep going."

There was a long pause, broken only by the sound of Sonic's breathing. It was right in my ear and with my eyes closed it felt like he was really here. I was almost surprised when I opened my eyes and saw only the faint glow of my phone screen from the pillow.

"Sonic?" I said. "Are you okay?"

"I'm just … really proud of you."

I smiled. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," I could hear the grin in his voice. "I am."

I bit my lip, considering …

"I'm pretty proud of myself too." I said finally.

"Good," he paused. "Do you want to keep talking about it, or would you rather talk about something else?"

"Something else," I said, decisively. I wasn't avoiding the topic, I just needed some more time to process. "How's Sonia?"

Sonic's whole family were on vacation together, down in some little coastal town. It had been planned for months and they'd only be gone a week … but I still missed him. We'd only gotten to hang out once since school ended, at a group hang at the Pacha's after our last day. He'd left the very next morning.

"She's good," Sonic chuckled. "She keeps asking about you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I mean - Manic wouldn't shut up about you …"

"Ah-ha, Manic wouldn't shut up about me."

"Yeah!"

"Sure thing."

"Would I lie to you, Ms Rose?"

"You say that like you didn't recently confess that you never really liked 'Beauty and the Beast' and just pretended to because you knew it was my favourite Disney film."

"... I take your point."

"I can't believe you did that."

"Look, the talking furniture freaked me out as a kid. I still have nightmares about that candlestick …"

"It's a candelabra. And his name is Lumiere, you philistine."

"Damn. I guess you'll just have to be the cultured one in this relationship."

I bit back a laugh and let out a long melodramatic sigh instead. "So be it then."

One Week Later

"Okay … I think that's it …"

I took a step back, frowning as I took in my handiwork. I was trying to be objective. Part of me was convinced that no matter what I did, it would look awful, but I knew that wasn't the case.

Besides, Rouge would definitely be the first one to tell me if I'd fucked up her Prom dress.

I watched her as she stared at her reflection in her long Venetian mirror. She ran her hands down her sides, feeling how the bodice clung to her body before the dress suddenly flared out until it hit the ground. The silhouette was a lot more conservative than what Rouge usually went for - but the floor-length skirt hid a surprise feature, a long side-slit that exposed her tanned leg. The vibrant red velvet fabric also helped sell its sex-appeal. We'd poured over dozens of sketches, deliberated over swaths of fabric, and spent hours scrolling for inspiration online before finally settling on this design. Well. Technically I'd done most of the planning. Rouge had sighed and rolled her eyes at the process, insisting that whatever I put together would be perfect and that besides, it was just Junior Prom.

But I was getting paid to do this for her. I wanted it to be perfect - and as much as she'd complained about the process and the fuss … looking at her now, in the mirror, it was pretty clear that this secretly mattered a lot to Rouge too. So secretly that maybe she herself didn't even know until this moment.

"What do you think?" Minutes had passed and she still hadn't spoken. "There's still a week, so there's time for alterations - "

"Amy Rose, you motherfucking genius!" Rouge spun around to face me, her eyes shining. "It's perfect!"

I felt a tiny jolt of shock run through me, but I caught it before it led to a spiral of self-doubt and second guessing. It was okay for me to admit that I had done a good job. It was okay for me to accept praise.

"You like it then?" I asked, for clarification - because old habits die hard, but at least I was trying.

"I love it!" Rouge had already turned back to admire her reflection. "Damn. I really do look hot."

"Like you needed a dress to tell you that," I laughed. There was a sudden gentle knock at the door and I heard Blaze's voice ask if they could come in yet. Soon the girls were all crowded into Rouge's room, gasping in admiration as they saw her in her gown. I accepted everyone's compliments graciously, feeling myself glowing with pride. I'd done a good job. An excellent job.

"Knuckles is really going to have to bring his A game next week," Tikal said. "I'm going to text him now."

"Don't take any pictures!" Cream warned. "He can't see the dress until the dance!"

"You're acting like we're getting married," Rouge said. She was trying to sound annoyed, but I noticed the flush of pink across her cheeks. "Please! Like I keep saying, it's just Prom. It's not even my first time at one of these dances."

But it's your first time going to a dance with someone you love. Someone who you enjoy being with. Who will stick around for the slow-dances. Even if it doesn't last, in twenty years you'll look back at those pictures and feel so nostalgic and wistful and happy.

"What's with you, Ames?"

"Nothing," I said, smiling secretly to myself. "Just … I hope you have a great time."

"Me too," Maria added. It was the first thing she'd said since stepping into the room. I looked at her and felt my chest get tight - though the feeling was lessening everytime. She looked better. Her hair was sleek and shiny again, hanging down over her face. She'd been neglecting headbands lately. She didn't say anything, but I suspected that it was because she was self-conscious about how much rounder her face looked now. I'd done some Googling; apparently it was normal for your face to bloat for a while when you were in recovery. It seemed like a needlessly cruel side effect, considering the body dysmorphia. She was still prone to wearing oversized cardigans in an effort to hide herself, but the jeans and lace top that she was wearing fit her body perfectly.

She was hanging back slightly, still looking happy and excited for Rouge but there was a sadness behind her eyes. I felt a wave of sympathy; this must have been really difficult for her. Rouge noticed it too because she stepped down from the stool and pulled her into a hug.

"I wish you were coming," she said. "It's not going to be the same without you and Shad."

"Next year," Maria told her. "We'll both be there next year."

Maria hadn't come back to school. She was discharged in the middle of finals week, and she'd already arranged to make-up the credits over the Summer. Coming back to school, dealing with exams, facing the cafeteria everyday … it would have been too much for her to handle at once.

She'd also decided that she wanted to skip Shadow's Prom. "Everyone will be talking about diets and …" she started chewing on her nails, her eyes wide with anxiety. We all told her that it sounded like a healthy decision.

"You have to prioritise taking care of yourself," Cosmo said. She was right. I was really proud of Maria for being able to set these boundaries after putting so much pressure on herself for years. She'd even managed to talk to her dance-teacher about what was happening. The teacher was sympathetic and told Maria that if the group-lessons were too much, she'd happily arrange one-on-one sessions for Maria over the Summer in exchange for her help with the beginner children's classes, which Maria decided would be a lot healthier than throwing herself back into the competition.

I didn't really know what to say to Maria right now, what would make her feel better. So I reached out to squeeze her on the shoulder, letting her know that I was there, that I saw her pain. She smiled back at me, a little sadly, but she seemed to perk up as we went back downstairs to hang out. It was wet and rainy outside, so we took over the living room and put on bad Netflix reality TV shows.

Cream sat on a leather armchair, absent-mindedly stroking Cheese's head as she watched the drama unfold onscreen. Cosmo stretched out on the floor, sketching a still-life of the vase of fake flowers on the glass coffee table. Her tongue stuck out between her teeth as she concentrated on trying to get the reflection look right. Rouge and Tikal wandered into the kitchen and came back with a bowl of homemade guacamole and a bag of chips. Blaze curled up on a leather beanbag and flicked through the pages of her book. Maria and I were the only two left sitting on the couch, in comfortable silence. I leaned against her automatically, and she instinctively started to separate strands of my hair and braid them. I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy the moment, just enjoy her presence. The fact that she was back with us meant the world to me.

"The dress is gorgeous," she told me later, the two of us standing outside. "It's so beautiful."

"Thanks," I smiled. "I'm really glad that she likes it."

"I'm sorry that I didn't say anything earlier. I just felt a bit … weird." she bit down on her lip. I looked at her, worried. There was still noise coming from inside, but our lift was going to be here any minute … and I wanted a chance to talk to her in private. We hadn't really had a chance to since she'd been discharged, and her grandfather was putting limits on her screen-time. It was unfortunately necessary. I'd seen the blogs she was following on tumblr, the awful videos she watched …

"How are you finding the counselling?" I asked tentatively. "Is it helping?"

She hesitated briefly. "It is. At least, I think it is. I tend to leave sessions feeling worse than I did before, but then after a couple of days … I definitely feel better."

"That's how I feel too," I swallowed. "With the uh, with the counselling and everything. By the end of every session I'm on the verge of tears, but then … it feels like I can maybe move past it, once I've confronted it."

Maria nodded. I looked away, feeling my cheeks go red. I wished that I could talk about it without my face flaring up. I knew that it was nothing to be ashamed of - everyone had been so candid about their own experiences. But I'd spent so long hiding how I felt, trying to pretend that I wasn't suffering, that having it be all out in the open felt … weird.

"I'm really glad that you're getting help Amy," she said, breaking the silence. "I just wish that you could have told someone sooner. That you could have told me. I realise how hypocritical that sounds, considering, but …"

"It feels different when it's your friend, right?" I sighed. "I guess that it's just easier to think that other people are inherently deserving of kindness and compassion when they're going through something."

"You're right," Maria nodded. "I just … I feel like if I hadn't been so caught up in my own head, in my own bullshit, that I would have noticed and - " her voice wavered as she turned to face me, her blue eyes shining with unshed tears. "I could have been a better friend to you. I'm sorry."

I thought about it for a second. "If you're going to apologise to me," I told her. "You have to let me apologise to you for the exact same thing."

"Well if that's what it takes … I accept your apology."

"I accept yours too."

There was a pause. I held my breath, wondering if I should bring it up ...

"Do you remember the night of the Halloween Party?"

Maria grimaced. "That's the night I ended things with Shadow."

"Right," I said. "Well … you said something when we were coming home, and it kind of stuck with me."

"Did it?" Her eyes widened in genuine surprise - and worry. "Why? What did I say?"

"You said it was unfair to let people love you," I said. "At the time I didn't have the context, you know? I didn't know why you broke up with Shadow. But … I guess it just weighed on me. I think that's why I kept trying to distance myself from you guys, from Sonic. I felt like I had to protect you all from how messed up I was. That it would be unfair to let you guys get so invested when …"

When I might have done serious damage to myself.

Maria inhaled sharply, guilt flashing across her features. "I was really stupid. Fuck, I was so stupid."

I balked a little. It was so rare to hear Maria curse.

"I know that's what I believed, what I was feeling, but for some reason hearing it just …" she shook her head and when she looked at me, something amazing happened. She stood up straighter. I saw a glint in her eyes, and there was Maria Robotnik, restored. "I don't stand by a single thing I said that night. I said a lot of stupid things this year. I was mentally ill and also deeply malnourished, so I was clearly not in a right state of mind to be dishing out unhelpful fake-deep insights that people take to heart."

I let out a snort. "Well, if you put it that way …"

"I do," she insisted. "In fact, I'm just going to go ahead and retract pretty much everything that I've ever said in your presence just in case. Do not listen to me, ever."

I smiled. "Even the stuff you said about me being your best friend?"

"No way," she said softly. "No, that's the only exception. I'm so glad that I know you, Amy Rose."

"Ditto," I agreed. Suddenly she was hugging me again and I squeezed her back as tightly as I could, suddenly unafraid of breaking her in pieces.

"I have an idea," I said as we broke apart.

"I'm all ears!"

"I propose that we let ourselves be loved. That we let ourselves love and care about each other because we are best friends, and that means we can talk to each other about the shit we're going through."

Maria smiled. "Agreed."

"Good," I paused. "And on that note - I know that you're sad about missing Prom. I also totally understand if you and Shadow want to make other plans but …"

"But …?"

"You have an open invitation to come over to my house. We can paint our nails and watch 'My Fair Lady' to your heart's content."

"Hmm," Maria said thoughtfully. "The offer is tempting ..."

"I do have an ulterior motive," I confessed. "I'm babysitting Abigail that night and she's been dying to see you again. So we will probably have to think of some inventive storylines for her LOL Dolls - "

She grabbed my hand suddenly and squeezed it. "I can't think of anything else I'd rather do."

So we spent an evening watching girly movies, painting Abigail's nails, and doing stupid BuzzFeed quizzes.

(Apparently I was Monica and she was Phoebe. She was Lover Era Taylor Swift, while I was Speak Now)

During a lull, I tapped through Instagram stories. Because the Senior class size was so small, it was decided that the two Proms would be combined this year. I felt a rush of warmth when I saw the pictures of Knuckles and Rouge standing arm in arm, both smiling openly like they didn't care who knew how happy they were together. Sonic had updated his own story with a video of Manic gelling his air and then flipping off the camera when he saw his little brother recording him. Sally had pictures up as well, a candid of Elias and Megan standing by the ornate fireplace at the Acorn household. Megan was wearing an off-the-shoulder black dress that didn't draw attention to her baby-bump, but also didn't make it look like she was trying to hide the fact that she was pregnant. Her eyes were rimmed with dramatic eyeliner, and her hair was pulled back, so her paperclip earrings were on full display. Elias was as handsome as ever, caught mid-laugh, clutching a glass of champagne. His top shirt was unbuttoned, his tie a little loose, his hair tousled in a way that was supposed to look effortless but which probably involved twenty-minutes in front of the mirror, a comb, and expensive hair gel.

I put my phone away, smiling and picked up one of the chocolate chip cookies that Maria and I had baked earlier from the plate on the coffee table. It had been her idea, a suggestion from her recovery handbook as a way of regaining control over her relationship with food.

I took a bite. It was the first thing we'd ever baked together that tasted perfect.

Elias and Megan won Prom King and Queen for the Senior Class. Sally told me that her mother had literally burst into tears with pride when she heard the news. I ran into her outside Déja Brew; she looked good - her new haircut suited her, and her smile looked less rehearsed. Still, there was a weird tension in the air. We'd passed each other in the halls, made some small talk in Home Ec, but with the business of Finals and our separate social-circles we hadn't really had to interact one-on-one.

"So, any plans for the Summer?" she asked.

"Well … " I hesitated. "I'm actually meeting Sonic for lunch now."

"Oh?" Her face gave away nothing. "Tell him I said hi!"

"I will," I paused. I examined her expression, looking for some trace of hidden sadness behind her eyes … but I found nothing. I cleared my throat hastily and continued "Other than that there's not a lot going on at the moment. I'm thinking of looking for a job, but there's not a lot going at the moment. What about you?"

"Just trying to spend as little time at home as possible," she laughed. "Mom is driving Elias and Megan insane with plans for the new nursery. She's tried to drag me into it, and I think I will scream if I have to look at another paint swatch."

"It sounds … intense," I said. "But also like an improvement?"

"Definitely," she smiled. "Still, I need a bit of a break. I'm actually going up to Mobius in a few days. For a weekend trip."

"Really?"

"Yeah," her expression softened. "Nicole has a job working at a coding Summer camp up there. She's one of the senior counselors, so she gets to pick her days off. We're going to celebrate my birthday up there."

"That sounds so cool!" I said. I was genuinely excited for her - some girly bonding was exactly what she needed. "I hope you have fun!"

"Thanks," she smiled. "I haven't been back to the city in ages actually, so if you had any suggestions of places we could go…?"

"I'll text you," I said. "It was great seeing you, Sally."

"You too. You should come over - I know Elias and Megan would love to see you."

"I'm too scared to ever face your parents again after the last time I was at your house."

"Okay, I don't blame you for that." She grimaced. "I guess it will have to wait until they're out of town. Is it too soon for another Acorn House Extravaganza?"

"Never," I said. "Enjoy Mobius, Sal."

"Thanks," she smiled. "Enjoy your date."

"The thing is," Sonic said. "There are fifteen different flavour options, right? And yet you always get the same thing. Where's your sense of adventure?"

"I know what I like," I shrugged. "And what I like are strawberry milkshakes."

"I've gotta say, I'm disappointed Ames." He shook his head in mock disappointment. "Strawberry is just so basic. It's only one step above vanilla."

"Bold of you to accuse me of being basic, considering you were complaining that we're still months away from pumpkin spice latte season."

"That was ironic."

"Okay, how about the fact that you've been watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix?"

"It's my mom's favourite show!"

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks." I smirked. He glowered at me and downed the last of his triple nut caramel milkshake before slamming the glass down on the table with a wicked grin.

"Okay, Miss-Ed-Sheeran-and-Taylor-Swift-Were-My-Top-Artists-On-Spotify-Wrapped last year - "

"Says the guy whose workout playlist is almost entirely Ariana Grande songs!"

"Well maybe you'd beat me in a race if she was on yours as well …"

We were still laughing when we walked out of the café and into the warm June air. Sonic threw his arm around my shoulder and I felt a rush of love race through me. I looked up at him and his eyes met mine. He smiled and squeezed me tighter. We didn't say anything - we didn't have to. We walked back towards my house in companionable silence, taking in the sounds of the town. Station Square was beautiful in the Summer; flowers bloomed from planters outside shops. Groups of kids in shorts and striped t-shirts ran around in packs, counting pennies to buy ice-pops at the newsagents. Even though it was evening time, the sun was warm against the back of my legs - it was glorious. I'd spent years covering my legs, wearing jeans and leggings and tights all Summer, scared of attracting attention. I'd been slowly pushing myself out of my comfort zone this year, wearing shorter dresses and showing my cleavage at parties, but the anxiety was always there. There was still a twinge of it now - maybe there always would be - but now I felt like I could handle it. I was in control of my body.

"You've spent so long trying to distance yourself from your body," Anne explained during one of our sessions. "That detached feeling you talked about, where you feel like you're having some kind of out-of-body experience, watching things happen to you from the other side of the room … that's very common with victims of abuse. I think it's important that you repair your relationship with it. We can think of some strategies today …"

Running helped. So did long steamy strawberry-scented showers, and lathering myself with lotion. Going to the swimming pool with Abigail, lying flat on my back and stretching like a starfish. Playing Just Dance at Rouge's house. Trying on new clothes. Wearing shorts because it was sunny out.

The conversation moved to our friends, family and Summer plans; We were going paintballing with Tails next week, to celebrate his birthday. Abigail was attending ballet classes at Maria's studio, and there was a showcase coming up. Sonic and I were both halfheartedly looking for part-time jobs, but it didn't feel urgent - it was just so we had some experience for the future. Silver was planning a picnic for Blaze's birthday, and we were all struggling to come up with gift ideas for the girl who had seemingly read every book ever published. We talked about the show that we were watching together, speculating about what was going to happen next. We were still talking about it when we arrived at my house.

It was quiet. Mom was at work. Abigail was in ballet class. The house was empty.

We hovered outside the doorway, neither of us wanting to leave just yet.

"Any plans for the rest of the day?"

"Yeah, I've a trial shift at eight. For that Mexican place in Knothole I was telling you about." Sonic shrugged. "We'll see how it goes, but …"

"You'll do great," I told him. I hesitated; normally this was where I'd invite him to hang out inside. He'd been over a lot since school broke out. We'd play games with Abigail, or watch something on TV. Sometimes we'd hang out in my bedroom and listen to music and talk - or listen to music and not talk …

I shivered slightly, in spite of the heat of the sun. Memories flickered, vague flashes of his mouth moving against mine, his hands moving through my hair …

"Are you okay?" he'd whisper. I'd nod and tug the hem of his shirt, pulling him closer. I'd keep my grip, but even though part of me wanted him to take it off, I'd never suggest it. Neither would he. His hands stayed on my waist or in my hair, but never ventured elsewhere. My mom was relaxed about the door being closed, but the walls were thin enough that even with the music we could hear the sound of the television, or the hoover, or one of Abigail's obnoxiously loud toys. Abigail was also in the habit of suddenly bursting into my room at unexpected moments, and I did not want to scar her for life.

We went to Sonic's house too, but Aleena was stricter. There was a firm door-open policy when I was around. I guess having Manic as a child had made her more wary.

I knew that it would be hours before anyone was home. The thought should have excited me - time alone, uninterrupted, with my boyfriend …

"Let me know how it goes," I said. "See you, Sonic!"

"Who could that be?" Mom looked at me questioningly. "Are you expecting anyone?"

"No," I frowned. The sound of the doorbell had been as surprising to me as it had been to her. It was dark out. I was in my pyjamas, reading fanfic on my phone while Abigail watched a movie. "Tikal left her phone charger behind yesterday. I said I'd bring it to Silver's tomorrow, but maybe she was in the area?"

Mom went to answer the door. Seconds later she reappeared, closely followed by Vanilla. I sat up abruptly, self conscious. "Miss Barony - "

"Oh, I'm not your teacher anymore, Amy dear." she said, waving her hand dismissively. Her engagement ring glinted as the light hit it."No need for such formalities!"

"Okay," I said - though I still felt weird. I shot a questioning glance at Mom, but she looked just as confused as I did. "I can go and make some tea?"

"That would be wonderful," Vanilla smiled. She reached into her handbag and pulled out a tablet in a floral-patterned case. "I have something I'd like to talk to your mother about. A business proposal."

One Month Later

"And so, I'd like to declare that The Vanilla Bean is now and officially - oh!" Vanilla turned around suddenly. "Cream dear, would you do the honours?"

Cream blinked, her mouth opening into a round oh of surprise. Cheese chirped beside her and reflexively her hand reached out to stroke his head, her expression folding into a look of determination.

"We're now-and-officially open for business!" she threw her hands up in the air and the whole room burst into a round of applause.

I took a moment to look around the space. Now that opening day was actually here, I felt like I was seeing it all for the first time. The ash wood flooring, the cosy striped rug by the door, the elegant seats with orange plush cushions, the framed prints on the wall … my heart swelled with pride as I looked up at the little row of business cards on the counter. They were printed with a miniature version of the café's logo - The Vanilla Bean in calligraphy-style font, the curl of a letter that turned into a little coffee cup with steam rising to the top. Mom had gone through a number of prototypes before Vanilla settled on this one.

"It's perfect!" she'd clasped her hands together, looking as though she were on the brink of tears. "It's exactly how I always pictured it!"

We'd been sitting at her kitchen table. Mom had her new (to her, at least) laptop out in front of her, the one she'd bought secondhand for the graphic design course she was starting soon. She'd been taking some free online classes when Vanilla approached her and commissioned some sample designs. Vector was cutting up slices of homemade quiche when he glanced over Vanilla's shoulder and raised his eyebrows in a look of genuine admiration.

"The Chaotix logo could do with a change," he said thoughtfully. "What are your rates like again?"

There was Vector now, walking up to Vanilla with a bunch of flowers that towered over his head. Vanilla's face lit up as she accepted them and he pressed his lips to her cheek. I snuck a glance at Cream, wondering if this would be a shadow over the celebration. But her eyes were shining and her smile didn't falter. Maybe she was just better at hiding her feelings, but it seemed like genuine happiness for her mother to me. I squeezed her arm, feeling proud in a big-sister sort of way.

Charmy, one of Cream's friends, approached us with his camera. "Any chance I can get a picture for the local paper?"

"Oh that would simply be wonderful!" Vanilla clapped her hands together. "Come here girls! You'll look so cute in your matching uniforms!"

Cream rolled her eyes a little, but dutifully tightened the bow in her hair. I smoothed out a crease in my shirt. Vanilla was right - we did look cute. She put her arms around us both and we smiled for the camera.

"Be sure to note that we're open Wednesday afternoon until Saturday evening for the first month!" Vanilla told Charmy, making sure he was taking down all of the correct information. "And the waitresses names are Cream Barony and Amelia Rose - "

I felt a strange rush of anxiety and pride. I was nervous about this really excited about this job, partly for the money (especially with Sonic's birthday coming up) but mostly because it felt like a good step forward. For a girl who used to have a borderline panic-attack over thanking the cashier at the supermarket for my change, I was pretty proud of myself for feeling confident enough to make small-talk with customers for a couple of hours every week.

Today would be a trial run, handing out samples and pouring cups of tea for the crowd. I scanned it until I found my friends and family. Tails and Cosmo stood together, holding bouquets of was dressed in all of her finest thrift-shop beads and bangles in honour of the occasion. Rouge was leaning against the counter next to Silver and Blaze, clearly trying to focus on the speeches but getting distracted by the sight of Abigail giggling as she tried to clamber on top of Knuckles, tugging at his ears and kicking him in the side with . He was shushing her, his brow furrowed so that he looked stern - though the sparkle in his violet eyes gave him away. He was enjoying the game just as much as she was. Shadow was slouching against the door, looking very out of place standing underneath the 'Live, Laugh, Love' that made Cream and I giggle every time we looked at it. Still, beneath the eyeliner and the resting-grumpy-face he looked much happier than he had in a long time, with Maria right by his side. She was the first to run up and pull Cream and I into a hug.

"This is amazing!" Maria cried, her cheeks full and pink with pleasure. "The whole place - it's so cute! You've obviously worked so hard - "

"It wouldn't have been possible without your help," Cream interrupted her. "Everyone's help. We can't thank you all enough!"

"It was nothing," Tails said, coming towards us with Cosmo. They handed me and Cream the bouquets. "It was really fun!"

We were referring to the day that the painters randomly cancelled at the last minute. Vanilla had been frantic, but Cream and I had sent out some frantic texts and soon everyone had assembled in Knothole to paint the walls. It had been a great day - one of the highlights of the Summer. We listened to music, danced around the room, and ate the free cakes that Vanilla pressed onto us in thanks. Towards the end of the evening there was a paint war, which meant we had to walk back to Rouge's house in order to clean ourselves up. We ordered Chinese food, drank cans of cider, and then someone suggested that we play freeze-tag out in the garden. Things only calmed down when Cosmo, Silver, and Knuckles had to go home because they had work in the morning. The rest of us crashed in the living room, playing board games and chatting late into the night. Sonic and I were among the last to fall asleep, and we did so on the sofa, me in his arms.

And there he was, as if I'd summoned him. He hovered behind Maria, and when she finally loosened her grip he bundled me into a hug. The memory of that night was still fresh in my mind, and I breathed in his scent to keep it going a little longer. He pulled away, but I didn't feel his absence for long because his arm instinctively came around my shoulder. Even without that, I'd found that in the last month I yearned for his touch less - not because I didn't want it, or didn't miss it, but because I was beginning to understand that it would always be there. The grazing of hands, the lingering hugs, that would send me reeling before were just a fact of life now - and it was amazing! While some hopeless-romantic part of me missed the thrill, but a bigger part of me appreciated the casual intimacy I never thought I would have.

"Congrats Ames," Sonic said. He smiled and held my gaze, before seeming to remember himself. "And you too Cream, obviously."

"Obviously," Cream smiled and her brown eyes sparkled mischievously as they flickered between the two of us. "Don't worry Sonic, I know why you're really here."

"You got me," he sighed. "I knew that your mom would be serving her chocolate fudge cake and I simply couldn't help myself."

He winked at me, eliciting giggles from Cream and an amused eye-roll from me. I couldn't stay mad at him for long though (even jokingly) and rose onto my tiptoes to quickly press a kiss to his cheek. "

"I think that Abigail and Knuckles have beaten you to it." Rouge drawled as she appeared with Shadow, Tikal, Silver and Blaze by her side.

"Ah, what?" Sonic looked around, crestfallen. Sure enough I found Abigail in the corner with chocolate frosting around her face, being passed off to our mother by Knuckles. Mom patted her on the head, but was busy smiling as Vanilla introduced her to everyone. Matthew stood by her side, glowing with silent pride. I knew how he felt - mom had done a great job.

"That doesn't surprise me," Sonic had said one night. His voice was a little muffled - I could hear him moving around his bedroom through my phone speaker. He wasn't good at keeping still. I was used to it by now.

"Why doesn't it surprise you?" I asked.

"Well, she does have an extremely talented daughter," he pointed out. "It checks out."

I bit back my grin. "Abigail's artwork is coming on really well …"

I heard him laugh. "Yeah. My family loves that picture of me as Dread Pirate Jones. I've never had anybody make fanart of me before."

"Tell your girlfriend goodnight!" I heard Manic cry in the background. "Mom's waiting for you! She wants to finish this episode of Gilmore Girls!"

"Guess you'll just have to come back as a paying customer," I said, grinning. "Now that you're working nearby, you'll have no excuses."

Sonic's eyes gleamed. "Just try to keep me away."

Sonic had a part-time job lined up for the rest of the Summer too - he would be a waiter at the Acorn Hotel. Sally had messaged us both to tell us about the vacancies, but by that stage I had already been promised a job by Vanilla. As much as it would have been fun to work with Sonic, we mutually decided it would be good to have some time apart. We lived in the same town, had the same friend group … Besides, the hotel and the café were right across the street from each other, and thanks to nepotism we would be able to coordinate our shifts.

I turned my smile towards Cream. I was also really looking forward to working with her too. Standing there, Sonic's hand in mine, my friends and family all around me, the rest of the Summer ahead of me … Normally Summer was difficult for me. The break from homework was nice, but the novelty of getting to sit around in pyjamas watching Netflix wore off after a week, and I'd find myself looking forward to going back to school. Now, the possibilities seemed endless. So much had already happened in the last month. I squeezed Sonic's hand, excited for everything that was to come.

It was the Summer that Cosmo cut her hair and regretted it. The Summer that Silver got a job at Earthia's garden centre. The Summer that Blaze and Rouge learned how to roller skate, that Tikal learned to make polymer earrings, and that I learned how to make scones. It was the Summer that Cream got a nose piercing and managed to hide it from her mother for three days before the guilt became too much. It was the Summer that Knuckles finally got his revenge on Sonic and hosted a screening of their middle-school production of Grease.

(Fourteen year old Sonic, shimmying to Summer Nights? Adorable!)

It was the Summer that I finally watched Star Wars (at Sonic's house, laughing as he and Manic re-enacted the confrontation scene between Anakin and Obi-Wan with their old toy lightsabers), and the Summer that I spent hours on my feet at Vanilla's café serving muffins and making milkshakes. It was the Summer that Tikal went to visit Marine, that her Instagram became flooded with pictures of shells in the sand, of bright city lights, the two of their faces smiling over ice-cream cones. It was the Summer that Sonic ended up having to serve Mr Robotnik and his wife dinner at the hotel, and ended up getting an incredible tip that made him wonder if the teacher really did hold a grudge against him.

It was the Summer that Tails started taking testosterone. That Maria took up knitting. That we saw a trashy horror movie for Shadow's birthday and then went out for ramen. That we had an insane Smash tournament, which culminated in an epic showdown between Tails and Rouge. It was the Summer that Blaze read A Little Life and wept for a week afterwards. That Cosmo got into photography. It was the Summer that Cream and I spent putting together the perfect playlists for the café, dancing around together when there was a lull in customers. That Silver and Sonic got briefly addicted to The Vampire Diaries, and disagreed so strongly on the love triangle that for a few days we were worried that they would stop speaking for good.

It was the Summer that I finally went to a theme park. True to his word, Matthew brought us all to one. His sister came along with his niece, who was two years younger than Abigail and thus happy to toddle along after her and do whatever she wanted. Abigail seemed to enjoy not being the youngest for once. It was the Summer that I discovered that I loved roller-coasters, hated candyfloss, and that Matthew was actually really funny. He made witty observations, and was a master at wordplay. He knew dozens of entertaining car-games, which almost made me wish that the journey lasted longer. He dropped us home and as we climbed out of the car, I turned to thank him and saw the wistful expression on his face. He suddenly looked so alone, there in the empty darkness.

I made a decision.

"Mom, why don't you go to Matthew's tonight? I'll mind Abigail."

It was the Summer that Rouge posted a picture of herself at Prom on her makeup Instagram page, and tagged me as the dressmaker so I woke up to about a hundred new follow requests and a dozen DMs asking what my prices were like. My friends urged me to start my own business with this, and I was considering it. But for now I liked my job at The Vanilla Bean, and I was busy having a social life and going to therapy. Still, I had my sketchbook at the ready.

It was the Summer that Mom got accepted into college, and Aunt June and Rosy came over to celebrate. It was the Summer that Maria and I had weekly sleepovers where we watched movies and didn't talk about therapy, but knew that the other person got it without us having to. The Summer that we all marathoned the Twilight movies. That we went bowling, to the cinema, and once, memorably, laser-tag. That Silver got his driver's licence the first time around, while Blaze had to take the test three times. That Knuckles, Cosmo, and Tikal all joined a DnD campaign that none of us understood.

It was the Summer that Vanilla got married. That Mina had her first gig, performing to a sold-out crowd at the community centre in Knothole. That Elias finished the draft of his graphic novel. That Fiona had a fling with Scourge, which ended badly. That Jet and Wave broke up, then got back together, then broke up again. That Tangle and Whisper started a podcast. That Galaxina and Manic looked for places to live in Mobius when they were in college next year.

I bought an Instax with my first paycheck and captured as many moments as I could, big and small. I stuck them in a scrapbook and wrote down the memories that went with them. I wanted to have something physical to go back to, in my darkest moments. So that no matter what happened or where we were in the future, I could honestly look back and point out the moments where I was safe. Where I was loved. Where I was happy.

It was also the Summer that Sonic and I kissed a lot. Like - a lot a lot. So much so that I was surprised that we weren't bored by it. Especially since it never really went any further.

It wasn't for lack of trying, or wanting - on my part at least. While he was happy to randomly grab my hand, or kiss me in public, once we were behind the closed door of my bedroom Sonic let me take the lead. Though I knew, rationally, that Sonic was probably just as hormonal as I was, some small insecure part of me whispered that he just wasn't that attracted to me. I tried to shut it down because I knew rationally that wasn't true. Not to be too graphic about it, but there was a pretty easy way of telling.

We'd briefly discussed that we wanted to take things slow, partially because of my history but also because we were both inexperienced teenagers who barely had a clue what we were doing. Sonic didn't really kiss-and-tell, but I knew that the absolute farthest he'd gone with a girl was second base (assuming that second base meant over-the-clothes above-the-waist touching - to be honest, this system was always extremely unclear to me) so we both had our reasons but … we were also teenagers. We were meant to be slaves to our hormones! And we'd been dating for months - surely something more should have happened by now?

I wanted something more to happen. Not everything, but something. I lay awake in bed at night, eyes on the ceiling, imagining … the images were hazy, but they involved hands and mouths in all kinds of interesting places, and sent a rush of warmth running through my body and down between my thighs. The same rush would come over me when I caught a whiff of Sonic's deodorant, or saw a flash of his torso when he stretched, or he grabbed my waist and flashed me that cocky grin of his. When we were lying on my bed, wrapped in each other's arms, and he let out a little groan when I kissed him - it hit me with dazzling clarity; I wanted him. Maybe I didn't all-the-way-want-him yet, but I wanted … something more anyway.

The problem was that the rest of me didn't seem to know this. Because as soon as I tried to bring things further - when Iwrapped my legs around his waist so I could feel him pressed against me, or moved his hands under my t-shirt - something would suddenly shift and I would step out of my body and over to the other side of the room, watching it play out like I had done a hundred times before all those years ago.

Just stop it I'd tell myself. I'd kiss Sonic more forcefully, trying to block out the part of my brain that was resisting. You want this. I wanted it so badly. But even though I imagined how it would feel to have his hands running all over me every night and melt in my bed, in real life the opposite happened; I'd turn to ice. As soon as that happened he would whisk his hands away, break the kiss, and ask if I was okay.

"I'm fine," I would say. "Just …"

I never knew how to finish the sentence. I didn't know what was wrong with me - because yes I had trauma, and yes there were triggers, that's why I was in therapy. But I wanted this. I wanted to relax around him. I wanted to be able to enjoy being with him without slipping out of myself.

"Hey - it's okay," he said, the first time it happened . "Seriously Ames, there's no rush."

He'd kiss the tip of my nose. He'd trace my cheek with his thumb. He'd sit up and show me viral posts of chaos wearing hats, or play me a song he thought I'd like. We'd talk and laugh until I forgot about my embarrassment.

But it kept happening. Before he came over I would tell myself that something would change, that today would be the day, and I would gear myself up and prepare myself for it … and then suddenly there I was, standing across the room, watching like it was happening to someone else.

"It just feels so stupid," I said. "I love him. I trust him. I'm like … insanely attracted to him. We've been dating for months and we've barely passed second base."

"Do people still use the base system?" Maria asked. She grimaced when she saw my expression. "Sorry - not the point."

"I just don't know what to do," I rolled over onto my side, watching Maria as she sorted through her wardrobe. I was lying on her bed, physically and emotionally drained after a shift at work and a session of therapy. Anne gave good advice, in that she told me that if Sonic loved me he'd want me to feel safe and comfortable when I was with him, and that there was no set timeline for this sort of thing. I understood that. But the thing was I didn't want this for Sonic - I wanted this for me and my own relationship with my body. Out of all of my friends, I thought that Maria would understand that the most.

"I know it's not quite the same but … has this ever been an issue for you?"

Maria frowned as she folded up an old white dress. "It has," she said, throwing the dress into the bin-bag for the thrift shop. "For different reasons. Like, I'd feel really insecure and not want to be looked at, which kind of killed the mood. Or if I was having a bad relapse and I didn't want Shadow to know, I'd hide my body more and try to stop him from touching me in case he saw how much weight I'd lost. He'd get so upset, and then he obviously wouldn't want to be intimate because he was worried about me."

"That sounds really hard," I said. "I'm sorry."

"Thanks. It's definitely getting better, to an extent, but I also feel like I need to prioritise my own relationship with my body for a while, before we get that physical intimacy back.."

"That's what I've been trying to do," I sighed. "It's just … "

I trailed off, thinking. Maria bit her lip, then dropped the pair of too-small jeans she was holding onto the floor and came to sit beside me on the bed.

"Why do you think it's bothering you so much? Is it really just because you want to go further? Or because you feel pressured?"

"He'd never - "

"I know. But," she smiled sadly. "I know what you're like, Ames - you put pressure on yourself. Could it be that you have this idea of how your relationship should be, what milestones you guys should be hitting at a set time, and you're worried that the fact that you haven't hit them invalidates the relationship?"

As she spoke, I felt my face heat up. She was right. It felt so stupid to hear it said so plainly, but at the same time I needed to hear it. It wasn't that desire didn't play a part in it. I wanted to go further … but I also felt like we should be going further."

"There's so many ways of being in a relationship," Maria continued, taking my silence as agreement. "There's no rush. You can make your own timeline."

"That's easy for you to say," I said. "You've had sex."

"That means I have some authority on this subject," Maria countered. "And anyway, it was a long time before we went that far. Longer than you and Sonic have even known each other, and don't forget that Shadow and I had been best friends for years before we started going out. It still took us a while. There's also the heteronormativity of the whole thing - look at Tails and Cosmo, Blaze and Silver, Tikal and Marine. They have to write their own scripts, make up their own timelines. Are their relationships any less valid?"

"Obviously not," I said. She was right; I knew that Cosmo and Tails were taking things slowly, largely due to his dysphoria. Tikal and Marine were long-distance, which also added a different dynamic. Blaze had confided that her asexuality manifested in indifference to sex, rather than repulsion, so while she didn't think it was completely off the table in the future, it wasn't a priority. But they were all happy, and I didn't doubt for a second the strength of their love for their partners.

"You'll be ready when you're ready," Maria said. "In the meantime … Think of all of the other ways that you two can get closer. There are so many other milestones that aren't sexual."

"I guess you're right," I bit my lip. "I guess I still have work to do before I'm really ready for anything. It's just … I still have all of these urges. It's really frustrating."

"Well," Maria shrugged. "That's why they invented masturbation."

She let out a gasp, putting her hand to her mouth in shock. We sat in slightly-stunned silence for a couple of seconds, trying to process how to move on from a comment like that. I could tell that she was embarrassed - but I couldn't help myself. I started laughing, and after a couple more seconds she did too.

"I can't believe you said that!"

"I can't believe I did either!"

We rolled around on the bed, laughing long after the moment had passed. My heart felt full for hours afterwards. I was so glad to have my best friend back.

So it was also the Summer that Sonic and I grew even closer - even if it wasn't in the ways I'd envisioned.

It was the Summer that I learned how much Sonic hated water, when he came on my family's trip to the beach and spent almost the entire time helping Abigail build sandcastles while I splashed around in the salty spray. I loved being in the water, how free it made me feel. Something about being in the ocean made all of my anxieties feel so small. I lay back and let the waves crash over me …

Until I was forcibly pulled out of the water by Sonic, who had seen me go under and thought that I was about to drown. By the time I explained to him that I was perfectly fine - the water barely touched my knees when I stood up, he was already shivering. We hurried back to shore and I found him a towel. He spent the trip home muttering about the seaweed that had touched his leg with a shell shocked expression. I would have laughed, but the sight of his drenched red and white runners made me want to hold him close instead; he had been so worried about me that he hadn't even taken them off before coming in after me.

It was the Summer that Sonic decided to see his dad and half-brother. Later he told me that it had been fine. They got lunch at a diner near his dad's place. His fiancée had then dropped by with their kid; a chubby little hedgehog with cobalt fur and purple eyes. It was weird, Sonic said, but seeing the kid made him more emotional than seeing his dad did. Initially he was hurt and upset … but then the baby grabbed his finger and held it in his little starfish hand, and something melted inside him. He was going to visit them again, maybe. He wasn't sure. I held his hand as we sat in silence afterwards, because that said more than my words could.

It was the Summer that we went out for dinner. He waited outside the café while I changed into a red-dress and strappy sandals, and applied fresh make-up in the bathroom. He wore a nice shirt and a pair of new jeans. We walked down a little sidestreet to a cosy Italian restaurant. We ordered pizza and pistachio gelato but barely touched our food, we had so much to say to each other. As we stepped outside it was starting to get chilly, and he put his jacket over me. I remembered how he did the same thing at Homecoming and felt that familiar thrill run through me; I looked up at him and the tenderness of his expression made me catch my breath. So I guess that we hadn't completely lost that delicate beginning rush after all.

It was the Summer that I finally met Sonia, when she came down to visit just before Sonic's birthday. She hugged me as soon as I walked in the door because she was "so excited that there was finally another girl around". I was similarly delighted, because it meant that the two of us could team up against Manic and Sonic when we played Mario Kart. Sonic was a pro, I was mediocre, Sonia was exceptional, and Manic had talent but was also stoned, which made things fairly balanced. We played late into the evening, until Aleena appeared in the doorway with a special request. Sonic looked horrified, Manic looked amused, and Sonia looked overjoyed, and they dragged out their equipment from the spare room - a keyboard, a drum kit, and a guitar.

"You never told me that you could play guitar!" I cried as Sonic sat down and began fiddling with the tuning pegs.

"I was hoping that this day would never come …" Sonic muttered, plucking the strings until he seemed satisfied. "I'm kind of terrible, so please don't break up with me over it."

"He's being modest," Sonia's eyes sparkled with amusement as she ran her fingers over the keys. "After all, he's better than Manic."

"That's not exactly difficult," Sonic said, before breaking off into a yelp as Manic threw a drumstick at his head.

"Excuse me, but have either of you won the Station Square High Talent Show? Didn't think so!" Manic said, winking. Sonic rolled his eyes and chucked the drumstick back at him. Manic caught it effortlessly in one hand, a feat all the more impressive due to the fact that he was still stoned.

"Oh, be quiet and play something," Aleena scolded as she sat down next to me. Her whole face was lit up with pride. "They're really very good," she whispered in my ear, though they wouldn't hear her over their bickering over what to play. Finally they settled down and played. They were good. I'd never really been one to swoon over famous musicians, but damn. I didn't know that Sonic could be any hotter until he picked up a guitar and started playing it … The way he moved his fingers …

(Okay. For all my talk, I was still a slave to my fucking hormones. Sue me.)

Vanilla looked down at her watch, brow furrowed. "Will you be okay on your own for half an hour? I need to pick Cream up from the dentist."

"I'll be fine," I assured her. It was three o'clock on a Wednesday - the lunchtime rush was over, and there was only a pair of old women drinking tea together in the corner. There was still an entire carrot cake available, as well as a fresh tray of blueberry scones. After nearly two months working here, I was fairly confident that the place wouldn't burn down around me.

As long as nobody asked me for anything too complicated from the coffee-machine. It still intimidated me.

I flicked through playlists on my phone, trying to find the one that would perfectly encapsulate the vibes I wanted. I'd been branching out in my music taste, putting together playlists based on recommendations from my friends. I settled on Nate Ritchertt - one of Tikal's current favourites, folksy guitar stuff - and started wiping some stray crumbs from the counter. The sound of the chimes above the door jingling made me look up, expecting to see Vanilla hurrying back because she'd forgotten something. I was surprised when I saw two familiar faces walk in, laden down with shopping bags and talking like they were old friends.

"Hey Amy," Megan nodded. Alicia smiled politely at me, though I noticed her brow crease slightly. She was probably remembering the last time we'd met. She looked a little uncertain, probably feeling out of place in this quaint little café. It was a million miles away from the Michelin Star restaurants that she was probably more-used to frequenting. Sally had been here a few times in the past, but always with Nicole.

"So what's all this?" I asked, gesturing to the bags.

"Baby supplies," Megan said. "Now we need sugar and caffeine."

"Say no more," I winked. "Though I have to say, I'm a little surprised to see you here. I thought that allegiances had been set."

"Don't tell Elias," Megan laughed. "I don't think he'd recover if he found out I was playing the field with my coffee shops."

I smiled. Even though he didn't need the money anymore, Elias had been working at Déja Brew all Summer. He said it was just because he didn't want to leave them hanging, since Galaxina moved up to Mobius early. I suspected that he genuinely enjoyed it. I felt similarly about this job - I'd talked to my therapist about it. She thought it was because of the sense of stability and routine, the feeling of control it gave me when I'd felt so out of control for so long.

It made sense. But the tray of leftover baked goods I got to take home at the end of every shift was definitely a factor.

"Your secret's safe with me," I assured them. "Let me take those bags and I'll lead you to a table."

It wasn't long before the two of them were sitting together, drinking coffee (both black, thankfully) and eating traybakes. I was far enough away that I couldn't hear what they were talking about over the sound of the music … but I could see the look on Alicia's face. The tender expression, the excited gleam in her eye. She was definitely looking forward to becoming a grandmother, but as she threw her head back and let out a loud belly-laugh at some story Megan told, I realised that it was about more than that. I helped them carry the bags to the taxi they'd called, feeling the easy chemistry between them. Megan said she hoped to see me soon, and Alicia raised her hand in farewell, looking a lot happier than I'd ever seen her before.

She was excited about becoming a grandmother, sure. But she was clearly just as excited about Megan joining the family.

"How have you been this week?"

"Good," I punctuated the statement with a nod and looked around the room, taking in the dull carpet, the faded print on the wall… It was funny, I was starting to feel really at home here. "I've been keeping busy. It's good for me, I guess."

"It can be," Anne nodded in agreement. "Is that why you want to move to weekly sessions, rather than biweekly ones?"

"Partly," I said. "With Summer ending soon, I kind of want to make the most of it before I go back to school, you know? Plus, when I'm back at school I'll only have time for weekly sessions. I thought it would be a good idea to get used to that, because going into Junior year will be enough of a shock to the system."

"That sounds sensible." her smile widened. "You've been making great progress Amy. It's been wonderful to see. But just remember what we said, right? Recovery -"

"- is non-linear." I finished. I'd heard it enough times, both here and through Maria. "I know."

"I just don't want you to worry if you feel like you have a setback," she said. "If the panic-attacks or flashbacks start up again - it doesn't mean all of the work we've done here has been for nothing,"

I nodded; I didn't really know what to say. I knew all of this to be true, had made peace with it on some level … but I also wanted to scream because if I was always going to be dealing with this, what was the point in trying to get better?

But I thought about the Polaroids on my bedroom wall; memories of water-gun fights, trips to the local lake where we jumped off the pier and shrieked when we touched the slimy things beneath the surface, birthday parties and gatherings … singing songs with Cream as we closed up the café, watching old movies with Maria, kissing Sonic. Even the fact that I hadn't had a single panic-attack all Summer. That was a personal record. And even if I had another panic attack tomorrow, or a week from now, it just meant I'd have a new record to break.

I had healthy coping mechanisms. I had a strong support network. Most of all, I had myself. I thought back to that scared little girl I'd been and my heart twinged; I wasn't going to blame her for anything anymore. I was going to look after her.

The rest of the session passed by quickly. We talked about Junior year and college applications. About how it was going to be hard to say goodbye to friends of mine that were graduating next year. About Matthew coming over for dinner once or twice a week, and how I was becoming more comfortable with it. Before I knew it, our time was nearly up and I was getting out of my seat.

"If you don't mind, I'd actually like your advice on something …" Anne said, gesturing for me to sit back down. "I'm trying to pick a dress for a wedding - I'm terrible at knowing what suits me, and I know that you're into fashion …"

"I would be honoured," I smiled. "Let's see what we can find."

"What do you want to do for your birthday?" I asked Sonic, breaking the silence that had settled between us. We were up in his bedroom, our plan to go into town thwarted by the heavy rain that had started to fall as we were about to head out the door. It drummed incessantly against the windows, a percussive accompaniment to the tinny music that was coming from the video-game Sonic was playing. We were sitting together on his battered leather beanbag. I was sitting in between his legs, his arms around me and his head resting on my shoulder. I'd been playing too up until a few minutes ago, but I had trouble focusing in this position. I was too conscious of our bodies, the way his arm brushed ever-so-slightly against my chest … but I also didn't feel anxious, or any impulse to pull away. That was progress.

I wanted to take things slow, but I also didn't want things to stand completely still. Life was short, he was hot, and I was young and only had so much self-control. I didn't want to cosplay a Regency romance. So over the last number of weeks, I'd been trying to initiate more intimacy in a casual way - more lingering kisses, toying with the hem of his t-shirts, leaning back into him now so some above-the-clothes chest contact was being made. This was not something that I'd discussed with Anne, because it was simply too mortifying. But hey, she'd been encouraging me to be more proactive!

"My birthday?" Sonic echoed, without taking his eyes off the screen.

"Yes."

"What about it?"

"Are you going to do anything for it? Just, you haven't really talked about it …"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess mom will make chilli dogs, we'll watch a movie, and get a chocolate cake. That's what we always do."

"Is that it?" I frowned, thinking about all of the birthdays the gang had celebrated. Sleepovers, parties, trips … we'd always marked it one way or another. "Isn't there anything else you'd like to do?"

"We-e-ell," he said, pausing the game and dropping the controller. He tightened our embrace and I was grateful that he wouldn't be able to see my blush from this position. "I'd like to hang out with you. Like this."

Even from this position he would definitely be able to tell that I was blushing now; holding me must feel like holding a red-hot poker.

"I used to have big birthday parties as a kid," Sonic said. "Up until I was about eleven or twelve. But honestly, things are so busy all the time that I kind of just … like taking the time to chill out. Does that make sense?"

"It does," I said. "And I'd love to come over, obviously. I guess that I was just hoping that you had some big idea that I could help organise because I have no idea what to get you."

"Silly," he grinned. "You don't have to get me anything."

"I obviously have to get you something," I said. "You got me a Christmas present when we weren't even dating!"

"Yeah but that's because I'm a simp," Sonic said, completely-deadpan. I snorted, but he carried on. "Literally Ames, I just want to spend time with you."

I ducked my head, embarrassed but pleased. "I still want to get you something."

He was silent for a couple of seconds. "I do have an idea," he said after a while. "But first I want to know what you want to do for your birthday."

I bit my lip. "I don't know."

"That's not fair!"

"I mean … I usually do what you and your family do. Movie, cake, etcetera etcetera. Which is nice, it's just all that I've ever known. You know I didn't really get invited to many parties back in Mobius, even as a kid. And I definitely never threw any of my own. So I guess I'll be doing what I always do."

"Amy," Sonic sighed softly. He wrapped his arms even tighter around me, so that he was hugging me from behind. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that."

"It's okay," I said. "Like, I'm past this point of my tragic backstory."

"Shh," his voice was muffled slightly by my shoulder. "I'm not past it, so let me have this."

I giggled, but was touched in spite of myself. It shouldn't have, but it did still shock me a little when Sonic demonstrated such open concern. It was nice. I leaned back into his hug, closing my eyes, comfortable.

"If we'd been in the same school, I would have invited you to all of my birthday parties." Sonic told me. "You would have loved them. They were lit."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah. I'd have a magician and a bouncy-castle."

"Damn," I said. "I didn't realise that my boyfriend was the one-percent."

It was his turn to laugh. We sat there together for a few moments more, without saying a word. After a minute I shifted slightly to get my phone, and Sonic's hand ended up on my knee. I sensed him stiffen, felt his eyes flicker to me to see my reaction …

I opened up Instagram and began tapping through stories, trying to look unbothered. After a few more seconds, he began to slowly trace small circles on my knee. Even though I was wearing jeans, his touch was warm. I didn't want to stop it, but I didn't want to acknowledge it either. I wanted to let the moment happen.

I showed him some memes, commented loudly on some of the posts, while his fingers went round and round and round …

I want more - the thought came unbidden into my mind. It wasn't the sharp, sly voice that would tell me to run. It was a voice that I recognised intuitively - it was my own voice, voicing my own desires. I flushed; I wanted more of his touch. I wanted more pressure, I wanted broader, longer strokes, I wanted his hand to move further up my thigh and -

I tilted my head slightly, so that my hair fell away from him and my neck was exposed on his side. He took the hint and tentatively pressed his lips softly to it. I let out a pathetic little whimper that only seemed to encourage him more, because the next kiss was a little more forceful. And the next one. And the next one. Should I be doing something? I reached out to put my hand on his knee; hardly the hottest of things I could have done, but the thought of touching anything else made my head short-circuit. It seemed to work anyway - he started kissing a trail up my neck (!) to my cheek, before finally straining to kiss the corner of my mouth.

"Ames," he said. "Are you -?"

I turned around and kissed him. I kissed him so forcefully that I ended up pushing him further down into the beanbag, so he was practically lying on it. He didn't break the kiss, just wrapped his arms around my waist while I threw mine around his shoulders. There was still a small gap between our bodies and I hovered above him, not sure whether or not I wanted to close it. One one hand,we would make more contact and that was kind of scary. On the other hand though, we would make more contact, and for once my body and brain had similar motives. Get closer.

I made up my mind and -

The door suddenly burst open and the two of us sprang apart like we'd been scalded. Aleena was standing there with a basket of laundry balanced against her hip, and a dangerous look in her eyes.

"It's probably about time that you went home, Amy." she said. Her voice was soft, but her mouth was set into a hard line. Her eyes were on Sonic. "And then Sonic, I think that I should remind you about our open-door policy, hm?"

It took a few days for me to emotionally recover from the embarrassment of that afternoon. It was enough for me to never want to show my face at Sonic's house again. But his birthday was coming up, and when Rouge told me the story of how she'd once gotten lost in the Pacha's house on the way back from the bathroom one night, and ended up nearly getting into bed with Knuckles's parents (who didn't even know she was spending the night) I felt marginally better. Still, while Aleena to her credit was perfectly polite as usual, I found it hard to look her in the eye when she handed me a slice of chocolate cake.

Two days later, Sonic and I got on a bus and made our way to Mobius. It was his idea; instead of a present he wanted us to spend a day in the city. It was weird, being back there; the concrete buildings, the bustling crowds, the sheer volume of traffic … Had I really lived here? I'd become surprisingly provincial over the last few months. Every single time somebody bumped into me, I apologised.

I'd never been very fond of Mobius. I hadn't felt any real affinity for it. But now that I was approaching it as a tourist (and now that I had my own money) I could appreciate it more. We went into vintage shops and tried on floppy hats and oversized sunglasses. Sonic bought a retro shell jacket with his birthday money, and he looked so pleased with it that I didn't have the heart to tell him that they were going to be completely out of fashion within the next year. We tried boba tea. We wandered around an art gallery, got bored after ten minutes, and fed the birds outside instead. We played PacMan at an arcade, got burgers the size of our heads, and walked along the river, stopping every so often to take selfies with street art. We passed my old highschool. I felt a weird pang in my chest when I looked at it, and it must have shown because Sonic squeezed my hand and suggested that we get doughnuts. He didn't even make fun of me for getting strawberry icing.

Shortly before our bus was due to leave, it started to rain. The two of us ducked into the first shop we saw - a little book and record store - and decided to wait it out. The silver-haired rabbit behind the counter barely noticed us, he was too busy marking down the prices of a stack of CDs. There were only a couple of other customers. One of them was a girl our age; a spaniel with lilac eyes and short hair shoved under a striped beanie. Something about the beanie triggered a jolt of recognition in me. Before I could place it she noticed me, and her eyes widened.

"Amelia? Is that you?" she sounded pleasantly surprised, smiling as she made her way over. "How are you?"

"I'm good!" I replied, baring my teeth in a slightly manic-looking grin. I knew this girl. We'd sat beside each other in English Lit. She always had to borrow a pen. What was her name? "Um, how are things with you?"

She prattled on about life at Mobius High, some gossip involving people I only had a hazy idea of, and her boyfriend who she was buying a birthday present for. "I'll have to tell him that I saw you here - so wild, right? I have to go but um - nice talking to you?"

"You too," her name suddenly came to me. "Nice talking to you too, Lyla!"

She waved as she walked out the door, and a strange feeling came over me. An awareness of myself that I hadn't had before. Someone at my old school had taken notice of me. I had sudden flashes of memory - Lyla complimenting the doodles on my notebook, the way she would ask how my weekend was, the time our teacher was late and she offered me her last stick of gum as a 'thank you' for always lending her a pen when she needed one. Sure, it wasn't much. We weren't kindred spirits, or destined to become best friends. We didn't even sit together at lunch. But she'd noticed me. She'd been kind to me. I'd spent so long with my head down, scared to look people in the eye, that I hadn't noticed that someone had actually tried to.

"Who was that?" Sonic asked.

I smiled. "Just … an old friend."

And suddenly, it was the last week of Summer vacation. Sonic's contract at the Acorn hotel ended, Abigail came home from camp, and there was so much to do; stationary to organise, new clothes to buy, timetables to arrange with mom who would now be attending community college on a part-time basis.

My birthday fell on the Friday before school started. On Thursday night Abigail went to a sleepover with a friend from camp, and mom broke the news to me about her orientation.

"I'm sorry sweetie, it's all been very last minute. It should be finished by four, and Matthew is picking me up. He suggested that we go out for a movie and dinner to celebrate your special day! Would you like that? Sonic can come too, of course."

"It sounds great," I said. I was a little sad to learn that I would be waking up alone on my seventeenth birthday, but I was cheered up by the prospect of an evening out. I woke up the next morning to a quiet house, and decided to take advantage of some time to myself. I had a lie-in. I took a long shower; I shampooed my hair twice, did a deep condition, shaved my legs and then lathered myself with lotion. I found a little basket full of strawberries and chocolate croissants in the kitchen, with a card from mom, and I had them while finishing 'The Colour Purple' for class. I scrolled through the posts that my friends made for my birthday, the pictures they'd tagged me in, smiling as I liked and commented on them. There was a small package from Aunt June and Rosy in the post, lumpily wrapped, with a card, some money, and a little pendant. It was made of rose quartz and shaped like a heart. I rubbed my finger against its cold smooth surface.

I wore it later, along with a short red skater dress, oversized denim jacket and my new black Converse. I was just finishing my make-up when Matthew arrived to pick me up. I slid into the backseat, my smile widening as I saw Sonic there.

"Hey," he said. "Happy birthday. You look great."

"I hope you don't mind Amy," Mom said from the passenger seat. "But Vanilla called me and asked if I could drop something over to the Acorn's house. There was some mix up with the cupcakes for the baby shower."

"That's cool," I said. "Gives us more time to decide what movie to watch. How was orientation?"

Mom told us about her day the whole way to Knothole, while Sonic squeezed my hand in the backseat. He was weirdly quiet, and restless - his leg kept jiggling up and down. Abigail was bouncing up and down in her seat on the other side of him, letting out giggles every so often. I didn't think much of it. Mom disappeared into the Vanilla Bean for a couple of minutes and reemerged with a large box that must have easily contained a hundred cupcakes. Still, the Acorn's didn't do anything by halves. When we pulled up the driveway of their mansion I saw that they had already started decorating - there were pink and white balloons tied to the gate, and solar powered fairy-lights strung up along their trees, waiting for the sky to darken before they lit up. There were loads of cars in the driveway, and there was noise coming from inside - extended family, here on a visit before the baby shower?

"Will you hand them in, Amy?" Mom asked, passing me the box. Sonic helped me out and we carried them up the steps. Sally opened the door, her face melting into a look of relief. I hadn't seen her in-person for weeks and she looked good, dressed in a tight black t-shirt, light-blue jeans and an oversized grey flannel shirt. I wondered if she'd borrowed it from Nicole; it looked like her kind of thing.

"Thanks so much guys," she said. "If you wouldn't mind following me and setting them into the kitchen?"

She slipped through the kitchen door. It was completely dark in there, but we followed her through -

"SURPRISE!"

Light flooded the room and suddenly my vision was clouded by confetti and streamers. I stood there, stunned, as the whole room burst into cheers. The room was filled with people from school, members of the gang and others like Nicole, Elias, Megan, Mina, Bunnie, Manic, and more. It was a good thing that Sonic had grabbed hold of the box, because I was certain that I would have dropped it out of shock. It would have been good material for Knuckles, who was filming me with his phone.

"What is - ?"

"This," Sally said, gesturing at the room, the decorations, the table stacked with gifts, "is your birthday party."

"You didn't really think we weren't going to do something, did you?" Maria asked, throwing her arms around me. She sounded giddy with excitement, and my heart felt like it was going to burst with joy when I saw the pretty blue dress that she was wearing, how confident she looked in it. "Really?"

"It's the first time we've gotten to celebrate your birthday," Rouge said, kissing my cheek. I caught a whiff of her expensive perfume. "We decided to go all-out!"

"But - but - " I was still staring around in shock, trying to take everything in; there was a large professional looking banner with HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY printed on it, white balloons and bouquets of pink roses all over the room. There was a table filled with food and drinks. Through the glass doors, I could make out the decorations in the back garden and -

"Is that a bouncy castle?" I asked. Everyone laughed at the awed hush of my voice - but could you blame me? I'd never even been on a bouncy castle before!

"The magician is coming later," someone said into my ear. I spun around to see Sonic, grinning at me in that irritating way of his. He passed the box from the Vanilla Bean to Cream, who opened it up to reveal a giant white-chocolate birthday cake, studded with strawberries, with my name in pink icing. I could barely look at it though - I was still staring at Sonic.

"Was this you?"

He tapped his nose. "I may have had some help …"

"Surprise sweetheart!" Mom swooped through the door in order to pull me into a hug. Matthew was grinning beside her, and Abigail was jumping up and down with excitement. "We wanted to do something special and, well … Sonic came up with this idea. Do you like it?"

"I … I love it," I blinked hard, trying to stop my eyes from filling with tears. I didn't want to start off the party with mascara running down my face. "Was everyone …?"

"We all helped," Silver said. "We've been setting things up all day."

"That's where I actually was this morning," Mom told me.

"Mom and I made the cake!" Cream told me. Cheese chirruped, letting me know that he had also helped.

"Cosmo did the flowers," Tails added, gesturing to his blushing girlfriend. "And uh, I helped to carry them."

"I called a guy about the bouncy castle."

"My cousin's the magician - "

"Nicole is doing the music," Sally said. "And well, I'm obviously hosting. As you can see."

"Sally … This is too much. You're so kind. I don't - I don't know what to say?"

Sally smiled. "You don't have to say anything. I wanted to do something nice for you, as a thank you … for everything." her eyes flickered between me and Sonic and she smiled. "You guys are a really cute couple - you know that right?"

"I like to think so," Sonic put his arm around my shoulder. "Thanks for your help, Sal."

"No problem. Now go have fun!" she waved us away and loudly announced that the party was officially ready to begin. There was a cheer, and Nicole started messing about on her deck, putting on a Halsey song. Some people started dancing, others hovered around the buffet table. A couple of my classmates came by to wish me a happy birthday directly, or pull me into a hug. I could hardly string together a sentence - I was so overcome. And when I looked around at all of my friend's and family's smiling faces, I felt my eyes fill up with tears all over again.

"You guys … thank you so much - I can't believe -"

"Uh-uh," Rouge wagged her finger. "There will be no tears until we get some pictures taken, got it?"

"Got it," I giggled weakly. "But just … I love you all so much. You know that, right?"

"We know," Blaze said.

"We love you too!" Cream added. "We're so happy that we met you."

Shadow and Silver nodded in agreement. Sonic wordlessly squeezed my arm. There was a loud sniff, and we all turned to look at Knuckles. He glared at us, misty-eyed. "What?"

"You softie," Rouge rolled her eyes. "Bring it in, guys."

We fell into each others embrace, wrapping our arms around each other. I found myself at the centre of a jumble of limbs - Sonic, Maria, Cream, Rouge, Blaze, Silver, Tikal, Cosmo, Tails, Knuckles, even Shadow. I shut my eyes and knew that I would remember this moment forever.

It was the best way to end the Summer.

For the first half, the atmosphere at the party was relaxed. The crowd was smaller than they had been at previous parties Sally had thrown, which made things more intimate. We jumped around on the bouncy-castle, the girls shrieking as the guys slammed from one side to the other. The promised magician walked through the crowd, producing birds from behind people's ears and doing insane tricks with cards. Abigail was enraptured, and all of us were swept along with her childlike wonder and oohed and ahhed with delight at his tricks. Or else we just were massive children - but there were worse things to be. Someone half-jokingly suggested that we play musical chairs, to really lean into the nostalgia-factor, and unsurprisingly that's just what we ended up doing. It was going to have bruises for weeks.

Mom, Matthew, and Abigail left shortly after the cake was cut. Mom told me that she and Abigail were going to stay at the Acorn Hotel for the night, so they could have some bonding time of their own before school started. We'd do gifts and watch a movie tomorrow. I hugged them both tightly, and surprised myself by hugging Matthew too just before he got in the car to drop them off.

It was just starting to get dark outside, but the garden was lit up by the fairy-lights that were draped around the trees. Elias and some of the other guys set up the fire-pit. Nicole abandoned the deck inside and hooked her phone up to the household speaker system, so there was music in every room. People were being more open about the drinks, sipping cider out on the patio. Bunnie and Manic were smoking a joint together, trying their best to hide it though their giggling made it pretty obvious to everyone but Knuckles who seemed to be trying to engage them in serious conversation. Outside, Silver, Tails, Sonic and Maria were goofing around on the bouncy castle while Shadow and Blaze watched on, wearing identical expressions of baffled amusement. Rouge (who was halfway through a bottle of rosé) was dancing around with Cream, Mina and a couple of other girls in the living room, and I found Cosmo sitting cross legged on the window-seat of the conservatory with Tikal's head in her lap, quietly braiding her hair.

At one point I decided to look for Sally. I expected to find her in the middle of the crowd, or checking on Megan, or even standing to the side and looking out at everyone, making sure her event was going as planned …

I wandered outside and saw her and Nicole sitting together by the fire-pit. It was a little dark, but the glow of the fire lit up their faces enough for me to make them out. Their heads were bent close together as they talked to one another, their expressions intent. I watched them until Nicole rested her head on Sally's shoulder. Even from here, even in the half-light, I could see the blush that painted Sally's cheeks … the way that she quivered at the contact …

And suddenly it clicked. The pressure that Sally had talked about feeling. The doubts she'd had about her relationship with Sonic, yet the desperation she'd felt to maintain it. The way she spoke so bitterly about Fiona, the way she'd talked about missing Nicole, the look in her eyes when she told me that she wanted to be true to herself … Even the flannel shirt she was wearing that I'd thought looked suspiciously like something Nicole would wear …

It all made a lot more sense.

Good for you, Sally Acorn. I thought to myself with a smile. I didn't want them to notice me, so I quickly turned around and left the garden. I wandered back into the kitchen, where I saw Megan and Elias whispering furtively. I froze in the doorway, wondering if I was interrupting something important but they both smiled when they saw me and beckoned me over.

"Hey Amy," Megan said. "Having a good night?"

"The best! How about you? How are things?"

Megan rolled her eyes. "If I ever find the person who claimed that pregnancy is the most magical time in a person's life, I will run them over with my motorcycle. And no, that's not just the hormones talking. I am serious."

"Ah, those caring maternal instincts … nothing like them." Elias said. "But seriously, it does seem like hell. I am in absolute awe of her."

"Remember that next time I ask you for tuna fish with chocolate milk at 3AM," Megan replied. "Still, there's not long left now. And I've got to admit, I was sceptical about moving in but it's been great having all of this help. Between Elias, Alicia, and Sally I genuinely don't think I've lifted a plate in two months. Even Max keeps offering me his armchair when I walk into the living room, even though he doesn't have to because this house has more furniture than an IKEA warehouse."

"Sally's really excited," Elias said. "She's taken control of the entire baby shower that's happening next week."

"Don't mention the baby shower," Megan closed her eyes as if she were in pain. "I'd invite you Amy, but I genuinely do not want any more people to witness this than is necessary. Like, what's so entertaining about a load of women sitting around and cooing over how cute baby clothes are?"

"To be fair," I said. "Baby clothes are pretty cute."

"I've tried telling her this," Elias rolled her eyes. "But she is completely unmoved."

"They're just regular clothes but smaller!"

"Still, you have to let me get the baby a gift - not clothes." I added hastily. "And I figure you guys are probably set for almost everything but … I did want to ask, was there anything I could give you guys?"

"Funny you should mention that," Megan said slowly. "We actually had something that we wanted to talk to you about …" she glanced up at Elias, smiling mysteriously. Elias nodded, his own face lighting up as he turned to meet my gaze.

"Are you finally going to admit that The Vanilla Bean is superior to Déja Brew in every conceivable sense?" I teased.

"No, and I'm going to have to pretend that I didn't hear you say that, otherwise I'd be forced to take back what we're about to tell you but … well, I mentioned what we were going to name the baby, yeah?"

"Alexis, right?" I looked at Megan. "After your grandmother?"

Megan's eyes glowed, like she knew something I didn't. But she nodded as she rested her hand on her stomach. "I want her to have a family name. I'm an only child, so it's kind of important to me that I pass it on."

"Well Sally's middle-name is already Alicia," Elias continued. He looked suddenly bashful, absent-mindedly raking a hand through his hair. "And unlike Megan we have a load of aunts and cousins, so the legacy-naming is kind of taken care of … so we were thinking …"

"You're hopeless," Megan said, rolling her eyes. "Just ask her!"

"Tell me what?" I asked, though a realisation was starting to dawn on me …

"What do you think of Alexis Amelia Acorn?" Elias asked.

My jaw dropped. "You - what? You're kidding me!"

"We're not," Megan smiled at me. "We're really not."

"But - but why me?"

"Because you've been a really good friend to me," Elias said seriously. "I mean, you saw how much of a mess I was. How much of an idiot I was being. You were there for me, but you also weren't afraid to call me out on my bullshit and make me realise how stupid I was being. Without you …"

"We might not be together right now," Megan finished. "Seriously. And not only did you get through to him, but you also got through to Sally. So altogether, a pretty badass role-model for my kid."

"I wouldn't go that far," I said, blushing. "But … I'm really truly honoured. Thank you so much."

Elias pulled me into a hug. His arms felt safe and strong - like an older brother I'd never had. Megan was sitting down, but she reached up to squeeze my arm.

"Just pray that it's a girl," she warned. "Because Manic has been campaigning for us to name the kid after him, and he's actually starting to wear me down …"

I was standing on the patio, chatting to Maria, Tails, and Blaze and drinking a vodka mixer when I saw Sonic standing apart from everyone. I excused myself and walked across the grass towards him, ignoring their teasing. He turned as he heard me approach, grinned, and opened his arms wide so that I could fall into his embrace. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Hey Ames," he said, as we broke apart. "What's all this for?"

"I just love you so much," I told him. "I just love … everyone. So I'm saying thank you - for this, for everything. It means a lot."

"Well, you mean the world to me" he said softly. "You mean the world to so many people. The whole gang - they all wanted to make this a special night for you. Everyone did. There are so many people who care about you. Promise me you'll remember that?"

"I will," I replied. "As long as you promise that you'll let us do something like this for you next time. Let us do something for you for once."

He hesitated for the briefest moment. But then I saw his eyes take everything and everyone in. All of the people he cared about, and that cared about him. He swallowed.

"I think I'd like that," he said finally. "I think that I'd like that a lot."

We stood there for a long time, letting it all wash all over us. I heard laughter, the voices of our friends, rising up over the song that was playing from somewhere inside -

Life's a precious thing

Don't you throw it away

Don't you throw it away today

Life's a precious thing

Don't you throw this away

Don't you throw it away today

Left foot

Over the right

I can't turn my back

Every time.

Left foot

Over the right

I can't turn my back

Every time.

Life's a precious thing

Don't you throw it away

Don't you throw it away today

Life's a precious thing

Don't you throw it away

Don't you throw it away today

Life's a precious thing

Don't you throw it away

Don't you throw it away today

And I said "the room is filled with people that love you!

The Room is Filled With People That Love You!"

"You know," I whispered, my heart hammering in my chest. "I've got an empty house tonight …"

One Week Later

"I think the cafeteria food gets worse every year," Knuckles said. "I mean seriously Amy, what is that on your plate?"

"I think it's supposed to be lasagne?" I poked it experimentally with my fork. "That's what the menu said anyway."

"I don't think lasagne is supposed to … jiggle." Tikal's face was green as she stared in horror at my plate.

"Hold on," Cream said. "I think I have some cereal bars in my bag …"

"Mom-friend to the rescue," Maria said, sliding into the seat beside her. "What would we do without you, Cream?"

"We'd probably starve," Tails said matter-of-factly. He was toying with a yogurt, having gotten his braces tightened the day before. Cosmo rested her head on his shoulder and let out a yawn. Rouge was scrolling through Instagram. Blaze and Silver were comparing timetables, trying to figure out what classes they had together. Shadow was flicking through a Mobius University prospectus, his brow furrowed.

"Hey guys," Sonic said. He dumped his tray on the table and kissed my cheek before sitting down next to me. "How's everyone's first day been?"

There was a series of non-commital grunts and groans.

"That bad?" He pulled a face. "Thought so."

"What have you been up to?" I asked.

"I was putting up sign-up sheets for the track team," he said. "Sally's organising try-outs this year. You're going to sign up, right?"

"Hm, I think I might need some more convincing …" I raised one eyebrow meaningfully at him. His eyes widened slightly and a blush spread across his cheeks - I made Sonic blush!

"Leave it with me," he grinned. "I'll think of something."

"Ew," Tails said. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think that I actually preferred it when you guys were just mutually pining over each other."

Everyone laughed. I rolled my eyes and made a show of looking around the rest of the cafeteria. There were loads of new faces, clearly freshmen. They started school two days before we did, so that they had a chance to settle in. There were people I recognised as well; Fiona was sitting beside Jet, toying with her hair in an obviously flirtatious manner. I felt a stab of annoyance on Nicole's behalf, who was only sitting a few tables away from them … but she didn't seem to notice. In fact, I don't think she would have noticed a bomb dropping beside her, because she was so clearly captivated by whatever Sally was saying to her. I turned my gaze away, not wanting to intrude on the moment. Then suddenly, something else grabbed my attention - a red-furred fox with long black hair that she'd tied back in a braid. I didn't recognise her and it became immediately obvious why when I saw the way her wide blue eyes scanned the room, desperately searching for a place to sit …

"Ames?" Sonic asked as I stood up and made my way purposefully towards her. She blinked as she saw me approach, clutching her red-lunch tray tightly.

"Hey," I said. "Are you a freshman?"

She pursed her lips. "Sophomore. Just … the new girl."

"I've been there," I said sympathetically. "What's your name?"

"Li Moon," she replied. "My family just moved here from Stormtop City."

"Nice to meet you Li Moon," I smiled. "I'm Amy. Why don't you come and sit with us?"

THE END

Hey guys. It's been a while.

So first thing; my sincerest apologies for how unbelievably late this thing was. I have no real excuse other than … a lot happened this Summer. On top of life, work, etc etc I spent some time as an inpatient at a mental health facility. Some things came up while I was there, which sent me on a whole path … and I have learned that I am autistic. This threw me a bit of a curve, and I spent a lot of time over the Summer coming to terms with this revelation. Then of course, by the time I had done that I was back at college and work, and getting used to everything reopening again, so there has just been … a lot going on. And, of course, this whole epilogue thing ended up being over 20,000 words long. So here we are.

There was another factor at play here as well though. I think that I was really scared to leave this story behind - and by extension you, the readers. I don't really think I'll write any more for this particular universe, or even the Sonic fandom generally. But who knows? Give it another ten years and I might come back with "It Re-Re-Started In The Cafeteria" … or I might just change the names and try to get it published. If it happened to "After", it could happen to anything.

(I am kidding. But can you IMAGINE if a Sonic fanfic became mainstream fiction?)

Anyway, onto other things.

I would like to thank each and every one of you who has read this story. It would not exist without you. So truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed this, or gushed about it to me on Twitter, or otherwise engaged with it in some capacity … thank you thank you thank you. I have no words. It has been so wonderful to hear from you guys, whether you read the original ten years ago and are reliving your teenage years, or else if you're a brand new reader who is dealing with some of the same things as these characters. Thank you thank you thank you.

I hope that this epilogue is what you wanted. Honestly, I think that was another of my worries - that it would be disappointing. You have no idea how many times I deleted everything I had written and started all over again. Sometimes all of the action took place at the café opening, or at the birthday party, and everything else was all flashback/exposition … but this structure worked best, I think. I wanted to leave you with a sense of what everyone was getting up to, but didn't want to be there for every second of it. These guys are young, and there are plenty more adventures to come, so that's what I wanted to convey I think.

Amy is recovering, slowly but surely. I didn't want to intrude too much on her therapy sessions, just enough so that we would see she is on the path. I'm happy for her. She deserves it. So do all of you readers that told me you relate to her. I wish you all the best - because, I cannot reiterate this enough, you deserve it. No matter how broken you feel you are, no matter what's happened to you, no matter how much you have convinced yourself that you should feel small and miserable forever - you deserve happiness. You deserve love. Trust me, because I felt that way for a long long long time and am only starting to come out of that darkness. We deserve to be treated with care and respect.

There are a couple of small things that I wanted to address, A lot of people really appreciated how I handled a myriad of issues, which I was pleased to hear. I'm not an authority on anything, even the aspects of the story that I have personal experience of, so I'm glad to hear that people thought that I handled things thoughtfully and respectfully. There were some things, like the trans experience, that I would like to have given more attention to but I just didn't feel it was really my place. Whenever it did come up I would send passages to my trans-masc friends to ask if I should do things differently, so big thanks to them.

Obviously people have different opinions on certain topics. I actually did receive a DM or two about how I was glorifying teenage pregnancy. To be honest, this was something that I was somewhat wary of when writing the story and it gave me much pause when writing the story. I also think that one thing to bear in mind is that I am not from America, like I know a lot of you readers are, so there are some cultural differences that exist. One big one is that my country (Ireland) is really small. This means that, for instance, it's fairly normal for people in university to come home every weekend/every other weekend at least for the first year or so. It also makes it easier to stay in touch with people from your hometown, and honestly odds are that you will end up in the same college as a lot of the people you know. Obviously you still do a lot of growing, and meet a load of new people, but it is different to the way things are in America. So the idea of Elias going to college and coming home most weekends to be with Megan and Alexis (if they don't all move to the city together) isn't that strange to me. Another difference is that college costs significantly less, and we have a healthcare system that is far from perfect but is nowhere near as prohibitively expensive as the one that exists in America. There is public maternity care if you cannot afford to go private. I guess that I can also only write from my own experience. I know a number of girls who had babies when we were in school together, or when they were a year out of school, and from what I know they are happy with their lives. I obviously don't think that teenage pregnancy should be widely encouraged, but I also don't think it's always the end of the world.

Granted, I am speaking from a particular position of privilege compared to a lot of readers in places with no public health, maternity leave, or where abortion is outlawed. That's why I tried to make it clear in the text that Megan and Elias are in a privileged position; Megan has finished with full-time education, runs her own business and has a supportive family, and while she is comparatively lower-class to Elias she is far from poor. And well, Elias Acorn is extremely wealthy. They are also fictional, and therefore I can just … decide that things will work out. By all means, if you think it's unrealistic you are more than welcome to imagine that they break up a few years from now. I don't think they do, but I'm just one person!

(Honestly, I did toy with having a main couple break up over the Summer because I felt it would be more realistic. But to be honest, I didn't want to. Again, you are welcome to speculate and imagine these things - I actually personally feel like Tikal/Marine will break up in the future, just due to distance, but I don't consider that /canon/ to the fic - but I did not want to just now. Let them be young and happy and in love)

This criticism has not been lobbied at me, but because I'm aware the pro-life leanings of my family did influence my writing in the original fic, and just want to state that I support reproductive rights. I wasn't trying to depict the idea of Megan having an abortion as a bad thing, just the fact that the Acorns were planning on pressuring her into one. I was also put-off the idea of writing about abortion because I have never been in that position, and don't know of anyone who has, so I did not think I could handle the topic with the care that it requires.

What else can I say now? I love these idiots. I love them all so much. I wish that I'd gotten to spend more time with all of them. There were things I wanted to explore, things I wanted to flesh out, that I just didn't get to. I would love to have written more about Tails and Cosmo, and their relationship. I wanted to see Knuckles and Rouge go on their first date. I wanted to see Vanilla get married. I wanted to meet Alexis Amelia Acorn. I am kicking myself that I didn't throw in more birthday parties and sleepovers, because I just love these idiots being friends! But I couldn't keep writing about them forever, I guess. I tried to write a sequel for the original fic, set ten years in the future. I deleted it, which some part of me regrets, but honestly it was pretty terrible - mainly because I was thirteen and the characters were all in their mid twenties, so I had no idea what I was talking about. I just want to clarify that I am not writing a sequel to this. Again, I want to let these kids have some space to breathe and grow and just … be themselves.

Still, I'm going to miss them.

I guess this is as good a place to leave it as any.

Thank you all, once again. For everything.

Love,

Scarstar xxx

(Twitter: marymollykate)