It was the steady beeping that brought Peter out of the peaceful waves of sleep and back to reality. His mind felt a little foggy, but pain was surprisingly absent from his body and Peter knew that was a blessing in itself. The one thing that he did hate, however, was the fact that he could smell the sharp scent of disinfectant and that meant he was back in the infirmary.

How many times is that now? Peter thought blearily as he blinked his eyes open against the bright light that shone in from the windows.

Memories came flooding back to him in waves and Peter closed his eyes against the onslaught of the horrific events that had occurred. He swore he could still feel the fire that had burned him, but worst of all he still felt as if he could feel the overwhelming wave of heat from a pumpkin-shaped bomb blowing up in his face. The thing that stuck out the most was the horrific yellow eyes of the monster that had attacked him, and the gravelly voice of the creature sent a shiver down his spine.

At the end of the day, your heroics will always find a way too drag you six feet under... The final words of his attacker echoed in his ear and Peter couldn't get the pit out of his stomach from the chilling words. This had been the second time that Peter had been intentionally attacked by this person, especially now that Peter knew the first incident hadn't been his imagination after all. Peter just wasn't sure why the creature seemed to be after him with a personal vendetta.

"Peter?" The familiar soothing voice caused Peter to freeze up. Images of someone shouting his name and hands skimming over his injured body flashed across his mind.

Peter turned his head to the side to see Alex sitting at his bedside, leaning forward so that his elbows were resting on his knees. The older boy was looking at him with a hesitant expression on his face, as if he was expecting Peter to tell him to leave.

Oddly enough, it felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. He shot the raven-haired boy a small smile and a lame, "Hey."

Alex sighed in relief, but there was tension still in his shoulders. "Hey. How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?"

Peter shook his head, "I'm okay."

Alex shot him a look that said he obviously didn't believe him.

"Seriously, Alex, I'm okay," Peter promised. "I heal fast."

"So I've heard," Alex noted. "But you were pretty bad off..."

Peter winced at the reminder, a wave of guilt washing over him. "I'm sorry, I didn't want you to find out that way."

"You didn't want me to find out that my step-brother is Spider-Man," Alex nodded. "Yeah, I got that."

"I didn't mean it like that," Peter protested, glossing over the step-brother comment. "I... I was trying to find the right time."

Alex shook his head, "That sounded more abrasive than I meant it, Pete. Dad and I understand why you didn't want to tell us, we don't hold that against you. Last night was just a little bit of a doozy."

"That doesn't usually happen often."

"Spider-Man was spotted at an apartment fire last night, but he was never seen coming back out," Alex looked down at his lap. "That's where you went last night? After you left?"

Peter sighed, "Alex..."

"I'm not one to judge," Alex cut him off. "I just want to understand."

Peter knew that the other boy meant well, and he was shocked to realize that maybe he wanted to talk to him about it. "He helps me clear my head," He confessed.

"Just not in the best way?" Alex wondered.

"Sometimes not in the best way," Peter agreed. "After... I just needed to do something and Spider-Man is my only constant that I still have."

Peter saw Alex's face fall for a split second before the older boy recovered. "Why did you go into a burning building?"

Peter felt like he wanted to melt into the bed to avoid this conversation. "There were people that needed help."

"I'm not talking about the people," Alex's voice was quiet. "The news reporters said they were in the process of evacuating before you intervened. I know you help people, it's what you stand for, but this felt different, didn't it?"

"Alex..."

"When you took off, it felt a lot like the time that May told us about. The time where you bolted after your uncle," Alex admitted.

Peter's heart broke at the vocalization of his darkest moment that he could ever remember being in. However, nausea began flooding his system at the realization that maybe this hadn't been so different after all.

"Did you want to die?" Alex's voice cracked at the question.

Peter's eyes widened at the question and horror washed over him. "What? No, Alex, I swear!" That's when Peter saw the bags under his eyes and the way that Alex's shoulders were quivering. Suddenly, it felt like things made a lot more sense to him in that moment. "Your mom?"

Alex sniffled, clearly frustrated as he wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his Midtown hoodie. "When she took off upset after our fight..."

"Alex..." Peter shook his head, indicating that he didn't expect the older boy to finish his thought.

"It's just, I can see how much you've been hurting," Alex barreled forward. "And I get scared sometimes, because I want to find a way to help, you know? I get scared because I just..."

"You can't blame yourself for how broken I am," Peter interjected quietly, not meeting the other boy's eyes. "But I swear, I would never do that. I couldn't do that to May... I couldn't do that to you or George either." He finally looked up at Alex who had also raised his head so their gazes locked on one another. "I get stupid sometimes, it's not the first time it's happened. Spider-Man's famous for rolling with the punches, you know? I act before I think and look where it get's me. I'm sorry."

Alex shook his head, "Stop apologizing, dude."

"I really am, though, I didn't mean to scare anyone."

"Peter," Alex gave him a sad smile. "I know."

They fell into silence for a moment before Alex asked, "Do you want to talk about you and Ned?"

Peter's face fell into an instinctive stony expression at the question. "No."

Alex gave him another look that read, Try again.

Peter quickly caved, "I don't know what to think about it, I knew I was a jerk to him, I just... I didn't think that could happen. I didn't think he'd do something like that."

"Sneaking behind your back with MJ you mean?"

"I mean, I know that she's his friend too," Peter shrugged. "So I can't be mad at him and yet at the same time I'm hurt? It feels selfish when I put it like that."

"You're allowed to be angry and hurt," Alex amended. "What they did was crappy and they could've done it in a much better way. They didn't have to hurt you the way that they did."

"People like me don't get to be angry," Peter echoed his words from his conversation with KAREN.

"People like you do get to be angry," Alex disagreed. "Being angry is a part of being human, and it's a part of the coping process. Ned betrayed your trust, you're allowed to be angry."

Peter couldn't help but smile at the protective vibe that Alex was radiating. It felt more comforting than Peter wanted to admit.

Alex must've noticed it too because a faint blushed had spread across his face. "Sorry."

"Don't be," Peter shook his head fondly. "Your kindness never fails to amaze me."

"What do you mean?"

"I just mean you keep trying so hard to be there for me, even when I feel like I don't deserve it."

"You gotta stop with the self deprecation, Pete," Alex told him sternly. "You do deserve it. You're hurting, but you're not alone. Tony told me about the conversation you two had, about how he was worried that you confessed to not believing in anything."

Peter flinched at that.

"You don't have to believe it right now," Alex reached over to place a steady hand on Peter's forearm. "But let me help you believe, let us help you see that you're not alone in this new world."

Peter felt a wave of sadness wash over him, but he looked over at Alex's genuine expression and just nodded.

Alex nodded back, "Okay... So, you gonna tell me what actually happened to make you look like a piece of burned toast?"

Peter's heart skipped a beat. "It was a fire, Alex."

"A fire alone wouldn't have done that kind of damage," Alex argued kindly.

"Someone's gas stove exploded," The lie fell easily from Peter's mouth before he could stop it. "I thought I heard someone screaming, but I didn't realize it was just the oven's shrill creaking before it went kaboom."

Alex frowned as he digested the information, but he seemed to accept it because his face softened once more. "You gotta promise me something, okay?"

Peter tilted his head curiously at the request.

"If something ever happens to make you upset enough to risk your life like that, I want you to call me, okay? I'm here for you, and we can work out anything together. You're not alone in this anymore."

If only it were that easy to make me believe it, A small voice chimed in Peter's head, but he kept that to himself.

Peter made it until that afternoon before he was starting to go stir crazy from just sitting in the infirmary. As soon as Bruce had deemed him medically clear, Peter bolted from the room, itching to leave the bad memories behind as he left. It had been early morning when Peter woke up to Alex sitting beside him, but he also woke up a lone. A small memory kept replaying in his mind, one that consisted of Tony being there and holding him like a child, as if his mere presence kept the nightmares at bay. However, Peter couldn't figure out if it had been real or just a fever induced nightmare, as he had found out that his fever peaked at 114 before Bruce had been able to bring it down. Peter really hoped it hadn't been a dream, but he also didn't want to put too much faith into it being reality.

May and George had yet to make an appearance before Peter had been discharged, but Alex said all of them had been up until two in the morning before Steve Rogers and Clint Barton had ushered them into the guest rooms for the night. Alex had been reluctant and had slept restlessly for two hours before coming back to Peter's bedside vigil. The thought of the raven haired boy caused him to fall back into his guilt tripping routine he often found himself in nowadays. He hadn't meant to scare Alex as much as he did, hell he didn't even mean to scare anyone in general. Peter had just been so desperate to escape the hurtful thoughts in his head that he did what he was infamously known for: he acted in a way that could've easily gotten him killed.

That's one thing that's never changed, Pete, you're still a selfish self-sacrificing idiot, Peter berated himself as he padded down to the lab, the floor cold under his bare feet. You always do what you want without thinking of what it would do to the other people around you.

He wasn't looking forward to the long conversation he was going to undoubtedly have with his aunt, but he was even looking less forward to the conversation he was about to have with his mentor. Ironically though, he wasn't sure if he wanted to run away from either one of them. Just as Peter got to the elevator, he was about to press the summoning button when the doors opened. Tony, who was looking down at his phone, looked up and paused when he saw who was standing in front of him.

Peter just held up a hesitant hand and sheepishly said, "Hey."

Tony stepped off the elevator with a frown on his face, "Are you supposed to be out of bed?"

Peter nodded, shuffling his feet. "Yeah, Dr. Banner just discharged me."

"Discharge and being in bed are two different things," Tony raised an eyebrow at that.

"I slept for almost twelve hours," Peter gave him an exasperate look. "I'm fully healed."

"Tell that to the remnants of scars on your chest and back, kid," Tony pointed out. "Come on, let's go to the kitchen."

"But I don't need..."

"If you seriously turn down food after healing your body's extensive injuries, I will smack you upside the head," Tony threatened lightly.

Peter chuckled at that, "Fair enough."

Tony studied him for a moment before calling out, "FRIDAY, have Steve meet us in the kitchen before his run. Tell him to bring a sweater, will you?"

"Tony..." Peter protested.

"Captain Rogers will be on his way shortly," FRIDAY replied a moment later.

"You are not walking around this compound in only a pair of joggers, you just went through heat shock and I am not carrying your ass if you develop hypothermia from your whacked out powers."

"Oh come on, this is the first time my thermoregulation has been an issue," Peter argued as he joined Tony in the elevator.

"Which wouldn't have been an issue in the first place if you had a small sense of self preservation," Tony nodded.

"There were people in trouble..."

"And I'm not saying I'm not proud of you for helping them," Tony interjected. "I'm just merely stating a concern about your firefighting skills, especially since said person can't thermoregulate."

Peter cringed at the mention of the fire, "Yeah, I have a brand new respect for firefighters."

"Enough to let them do their job next time? You're not a firefighter for a good reason, kid," Tony said as the doors opened and Peter followed him out onto the main floor.

"I guess I wasn't fully thinking in that moment," Peter admitted sheepishly.

"Alex told me this morning what happened at the game," Tony told him as they entered the kitchen. The billionaire motioned for Peter to sit at the kitchen island while he went to grab three of Peter's protein bars for him. "About Ned and MJ."

The mention of the names brought back Peter's sour mood. "Can we not talk about this right now?"

"I would say yes, but considering how much it hurt you I don't think that it is wise to gloss over it. Especially since you went on a reckless search for trouble and almost got yourself killed in the process."

"It's nothing," Peter shook his head. "Just leave it be."

Tony studied him from across the island with an intent look on his face before saying, "Spill, Parker."

"What do you want me to say?" Peter exclaimed. "That my best friend lied to me about one of the main things that hurt me the most since I've been back? Sure, that's true, and it hurt like hell, but she's his friend too, I can't overshadow that."

"Why are you making it out to be some small ordeal when your eyes say otherwise?" Tony asked kindly.

Since when do you pay that much attention to emotions anyway? "It hurt that he lied, okay? Is that what you want me to say?"

"But you're not just hurt," Tony added.

"Don't say I'm angry," Peter cut him off. "I don't need another person telling me that."

Tony studied him for a moment before his eyes widened. "You're scared to be angry?"

Peter paused mid bit of his second protein bar before lowering the bar back to the surface. He looked down at the counter top as if it was more interesting in that moment, but Peter knew it was because he didn't want to look Tony in the eye. "Whenever I get angry bad things happen."

Peter heard Tony sigh before footsteps approached him. It wasn't until a hand came down on his shoulder did he realize that he hadn't been breathing. "Kid..."

"Don't..." Peter's voice broke. "Don't try and convince me other wise."

Tony was silent, and Peter had a feeling it was because the billionaire didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry," Peter apologized. "I know you want to find a way to fix me, but I don't know if I can be fixed."

Tony pulled out the stool next to Peter so he could sit beside him, turning his body so they were face to face. "You don't need to be fixed, you're still you. A little battered and bruised, naturally, but that doesn't mean you're broken."

"So why does it still feel like I am?" Peter wondered hollowly.

"I don't know, kid, I wish I had all of the answers," Tony replied sadly. "You're still hurting, and that's okay. You don't have to hold yourself to such high expectations, especially if those ideas are just digging you further into a hole that you can't get out of. Trust me, you're talking to a person who had unhealthy coping mechanisms in the past. It's tempting to let the negative thoughts consume you, but you can't fall into the trap. It's a very dangerous trap."

Peter's eyes flickered over to Tony, "What should I do?"

Tony's face softened at the question, "Depends on what you're asking for. Are you asking about Ned or are you asking about everything else going on?"

"Both?"

"Take this from a person who hates therapy with a passion, but I really think you need to talk to someone about this," Tony stated truthfully.

Peter shook his head, "I don't want therapy."

"I'm not asking you to see a complete stranger," Tony amended. "It could be me, it could be May or Alex or even George. Hell, it could even be any of the Avengers if you preferred. Sam has experience with this sort of thing, he'd be there in a heartbeat if you just give him the word. I don't want to just bluntly say this, but you know this isn't something you can just keep doing to yourself. Don't spiral so far that you can't come back from it."

Peter scoffed emotionally at that, "You're saying I'm depressed."

"It's kind of hard not to put it together," Tony shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "But I'm not just talking about that, kid, I'm also talking about the other elephant in the room."

Peter cringed at the implication. "I guess that wasn't a fever induced dream after all?"

"Are you talking about the part where you essentially trapped me in an unbreakable octopus hold last night? Yeah, kid, that wasn't a dream."

"Tony, I'm so..."

Tony held a hand up at that, "Don't you dare apologize for having nightmares. Not about that."

"Did I say something?" Peter wondered.

Tony recoiled at the question and it told Peter everything he wanted to know. "It's not the first time I heard those words in my dreams, and it certainly won't be the last. You're not the only one who has nightmares about it."

Peter was silent for a few moments before he confessed, "I felt it happening."

Tony froze at that, all color draining from his face. "What?"

"It must've been my sixth sense or rapid healing, I don't know, but it felt weird? Like it started with the feeling that something was tickling me, and my sixth sense was ringing alarm bells in my head. Then it was like I could essentially feel every atom in my body falling apart one by one. It wasn't painful, but it was terrifying. It was like my body was trying to fight it, but it was failing and I knew I was dying." Peter's eyes flickered to the countertop, shuddering at the memory. "It wasn't painful, so I guess that was something."

"Peter, I didn't even..."

"I didn't expect anyone else to think about it," Peter interjected. "But every time I close my eyes I'm back on that planet and I just experience that feeling over and over again. I didn't realize it at first, but there was one thing that always helped me sleep better."

"My heartbeat makes you sleep better?" Tony sounded pained.

"Way to be pathetically creepy, huh?" Peter chuckled bitterly.

Tony didn't say anything to that and the silence was bittersweet to Peter, but part of him itched for his mentor to say something, even if it was just to tell him how messed up that was. Instead Tony reached into the back pocket of the gray jeans he was wearing and pulled out a smart watch. He handed it to Peter, "Here."

Peter looked at the watch with a frown on his face, "What?"

"I know you disable KAREN's protocols," Tony said. "Gotta say, what you did was rather impressive, especially for someone who had little AI coding experience."

"Tony..." Peter began.

"I'm not going to lecture you about it," Tony shook his head. "Just take the damn watch, will you?"

Peter accepted the black smart watch that had a magnetic black band hanging loosely from the device.

"Someone made me realize that I should probably find a better way to respect people's privacy," Tony admitted. "Figured this was a peace offering. This watch will keep track of your vitals and if they fall into critical range, the coordinates of your last location will automatically be sent to FRIDAY. I have it set for all of the Avengers, it just makes sure that you have backup when you need it the most. Of course, you can also initiate an SOS beacon at the press of a button if you need it."

Peter's heart warmed at the gesture, "And KAREN?"

"Is no longer required to report every small little incident to me or to FRIDAY," Tony promised. "She's all yours."

Peter glanced between the watch and to Tony a few times before he bit his lip and threw his arms around his mentor's neck in a hug. The angle was rather awkward with both of them sitting down, but Tony readily returned the embrace with a firm grasp.

"Thank you," Peter told him genuinely.

"Trust me, kid, it's way overdue," Tony replied as he pulled back. "You just gotta promise me you'll reach out when you need us. I gotta be honest, I don't know how much more of these infirmary visits I can take before my heart gives out."

Peter found himself smiling at that, "Did you just call yourself old?"

"I didn't say that I was old," Tony denied in mock offense.

Peter chuckled genuinely at those words and he didn't miss the way that Tony's eyes sparkled with glee.

"Someone ask for a sweatshirt?" Steve's voice echoed as he entered the kitchen, a navy blue hoodie in his hands.

"Mr. Shirtless over here," Tony gestured at Peter. "Kid was walking around as if he was itching to catch a cold."

"I can't catch a cold, I don't get sick," Peter shot Tony an unimpressed look, but accepted the sweatshirt that Steve handed him.

"It's good to see you walking around," Steve told him kindly.

"I'm fine," Peter reassured the super solider. "I'm healed."

"As I said before, say that to the scars on your torso," Tony stood up and walked towards the coffee machine.

Peter rolled his eyes and looked back at Steve who was decked out in a tank top and shorts, "You're going for a run?"

Steve walked over to grab a water bottle from the cabinet, "Fifteen miles every day."

Peter's eyes widened at that, "What? Why would you even put yourself through that kind of torture?"

"Don't ask kid, that's just a headache waiting to happen," Tony, who had acquired a cup of coffee was leaning against the counter and sipping the liquid from his mug.

"Tony," Steve shot him an unimpressed look before looking back at Peter. "It's a super solider thing."

Peter held his hands up in surrender, "I'm not one to judge, Captain Rogers. I swing from buildings for a living."

"And climb them to," Tony shot Peter a pointed look. "I didn't forget that one time you climbed the Avengers Tower to sneak into the penthouse before I sold it."

"That was one time!" Peter protested. "It had been snowing and I was cold."

Tony shook his head, "Whatever you say, kid."

Peter ended up finding himself sitting on the roof of the compound a few hours later. The cool September afternoon air brushed across his face with a small breeze. He mainly wanted to get some fresh air, but he was also subtly avoiding everyone else while he waited for May to hunt him down. Another part of him wanted some privacy to clear his head.

When Peter had found a moment to himself, he had checked his phone to see 15 missed calls from Ned, 3 missed calls from an unknown number, and several text messages from both numbers. He had read a few of them, but each message he had read made him feel increasingly numb inside.

N: I'm so sorry, I know that doesn't mean a lot but I really am sorry

N: They keep saying Spider-Man was in a fire, are you okay?

N: Silent treatment... got it.

N: I deserve that, I'm not even going to pretend that I don't.

N: I never wanted to keep it a secret, I guess I was just too much of a coward to come clean.

N: I'm scared you'll never forgive me, but I want to do something to make it up to you.

UK: Don't be mad at Ned, he never wanted to keep this from you. I made him.

UK: I owe you an apology too, I never wanted it to go down like that. I never wanted you to find out like that.

UK: You were right, I didn't have the courage to say it to your face. It was selfish, but I guess that's just what I've always been good at.

UK: Just don't do anything stupid, Webhead, alright?

Peter scoffed at the unfamiliar nickname, but brushed it off. There was no doubt that the unknown number belonged to MJ, but Peter didn't have the energy or the desire to start a confrontation about everything. Ned and MJ both had not only hurt him, but broke his trust with their stunt of sneaking around behind his back. At the same time, though, Peter was selfish if he didn't consider that Ned had done it because he had just as much right to reconcile with the friends that he had lost when he was Snapped. It just didn't take away the sting of the knife that had been twisted in his gut, no matter how dramatic that sounded.

Scrolling through his phone, Peter dialed the number of one of the only friends he felt like he had left to trust.

"Hello?" The tenor voice echoed from the other line.

Peter cracked a small smile at the voice. "Hey, Harry."

"Peter," Harry sounded pleasantly surprised. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I know it's pretty early on a Saturday," Peter began, glancing at his new Stark Watch that showed it was only ten in the morning.

"I'm an early bird, dude, don't worry about it," Harry brushed it off. "How was the game last night? I heard we kicked ass."

"I, uh, I don't know," Peter admitted.

"You don't know? I know football has never been your favorite sport, but don't tell me you fell asleep, Pete. I mean if you did, that would be impressive, but it would also be sad."

Peter chuckled at that, "No, I didn't fall asleep. I wouldn't do that to Alex anyway."

Harry was silent for a moment before he asked, "What happened?"

Peter sighed. "Why does everyone assume something happened?"

"Because you're an open book?"

"Gee, thanks."

"And someone might've told me to look out for you."

Peter's fist clenched at that. "Ned?"

"He told me what happened."

Peter looked at the sky in exasperation. "Of course he did."

"I don't agree with what he did, I want you to know that."

"If you ask me if I'm angry, I'm going to lose it."

"I don't need to ask if you're angry, because you sound completely pissed off."

"I didn't call you to listen to this, Harry," Peter's voice was quiet. "I already got many lectures."

"I'm not here to give you one," Harry amended. "I'm here to lend you an ear if you need one."

"Not yet," Peter told him. "Just a distraction right now."

"Now a distraction is what I can do," Harry agreed.

Peter spent the next hour on the phone listening to more of Harry's stories about his in time in LA. He went into detail about the part time job he had before he Snapped, working in a bakery as a baker's apprentice and how his father had initially been against it. Listening to his friend's voice allowed him to forget his troubles in the moment, and he felt himself relax as he just watched the passing clouds while the calm voice from the phone echoed in his ears.

Was it good? Was it bad? Feel free to let me know!