Chapter 4: Kindred
Heading back to the Sanctorum, Bucky felt like they were being followed, and now that he was inside, he just felt uneasy…as if he were in the wrong place, and it was important he be somewhere else, even though it was the middle of the night.
"I trust you find the accommodations comfortable?" Dr. Strange asked him.
Bucky surveyed the room quickly. He didn't care how comfortable the bed was. He wouldn't be there long, but he needed to figure out what the hell was going on with him.
"It's fine." He turned to Wong and Strange, giving Peter a brief glance. "What I want is an explanation."
"For why you attacked Mr. Parker?"
"He didn't attack me," Peter protested quickly. "He just tackled me…to stop me, I think."
Thanks, kid.
The longer Bucky stayed in the room, the more uneasy he felt. "I need an explanation for what the hell you did to me and why I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin."
Wong and Strange exchanged glances, then Wong said, "Get some rest. We'll meet in the morning." He turned to Peter. "Your room is next door."
"Oh, I have an apartment," Peter replied.
"You should stay here, stay close," Dr. Strange insisted. "At least for tonight."
"Okay, but I don't have a change of clothes."
"Me, either," Bucky said.
"You'll manage, I'm sure, but I can see if we some spare clothes around. We keep a supply of new toothbrushes in the lower cabinet of the bathroom down the hall," Strange told them. "Tomorrow at seven, we'll meet in the office downstairs. Wong and I have a few ideas we'll go over."
Bucky's anger rose, but he clamped down on it. If not for Dr. Strange's spells, he wouldn't' be here dealing with…whatever the hell he was dealing with. Peter sure as hell wouldn't have lost everyone he cares about.
The uneasiness was growing each second, and the walls around him felt as if they were closing in. Something was wrong. He didn't know what, but he felt as if he were in the wrong place, and if he stayed….
If he stayed, what?
What the hell was bothering him? He couldn't put his finger on it.
"Sergeant Barnes, are you okay?" Dr. Strange asked.
Bucky blinked at the sorcerer. "No. Thanks to you."
Strange looked suitably apologetic, then turned to Peter. "You should get some rest."
"Okay, yeah, sure," Peter replied, giving Bucky a lingering glance before turning and hurrying from the room, his footsteps carrying down the hall to the room next door.
With the boy gone, Bucky eyed Strange. "You got anything you want to say now that the kid's not here? Like how you have no idea what's going on or how to fix it?"
Dr. Strange looked at him impassively. "I have one or two ideas. Get some rest. We'll talk tomorrow."
He and Wong turned toward the door.
"Not even an 'I'm sorry' for separating your soul from your body?" Bucky asked.
Strange stopped and glanced at him. "I'm sorry," he said slowly, deliberately, "but sorry isn't going to fix it. Now, goodnight."
-0- -0- -0-
Peter padded back from brushing his teeth, walked into the dark bedroom, and slipped into bed. Sleep wouldn't come easily. His mind was too active, replaying the previous day's events…and everything happened because he went grocery shopping. If he'd chosen a different store or went an hour earlier or later, he'd likely never have run into Bucky Barnes, and he wouldn't have ended up seeing Dr. Strange, and Bucky Barnes would almost certainly be sleeping in his own place right now.
He felt a little guilty about that. The people around him kept getting hurt. He was right to stay away from MJ and Ned. Their lives would be so much easier and happier without him.
Peter thought back to the alley and the mystery man with the beard. Who was he? Had he really been trying to help the couple and, if so, why had he run?
-0- -0- -0-
Bucky sat on the floor, back against the wall, staring into the darkness. The bed was too soft, and he was feeling restless. He continued to fight the urge to leave. He was in control, not some mystical spell. Control was paramount. It had been taken from him for seventy years, and now that he had it back, he'd rather die than lose it again.
At some point, his eyelids grew heavy. He slid sideways to lay on the floor, his limbs heavy. Sleep claimed him, and with it, dreams.
The helicarrier.
Steve's bloodied face, one eye swollen shut. "Then finish it, 'cause I'm with you 'til the end of the line."
Metal crashed beside them, and Steve was falling…further and further away.
Steve.
Rogers.
Brooklyn.
Home.
Steve hit the water, vanished beneath its surface.
Bucky had to save him…had to get to him.
Gasping awake, Bucky blinked against the unyielding darkness, his vibranium hand grasping at air.
"Steve?" he whispered, but no one answered.
An urgent uneasiness pushed him upright as his eyes made out dark shapes of furniture in the room. He hurried barefoot out of the room and down the staircase. Flinging open the door, he half expected someone to be on the other side.
There was no one. He didn't know what time it was, but a hint of light signaled the approach of sunrise.
"Sergeant Barnes, where are you going?"
Bucky glanced behind him to see Dr. Strange walking out of the office.
"I have to leave," he told the man.
He wasn't sure why, or where he was going, just that there was something important he needed to do. Or find. Whatever it was, it was out there, not in the Sanctorum.
Bucky hurried down the steps, the ground cold on his feet.
Damn.
His shoes were back in the room.
"I don't think that's a good idea," Strange said.
"Hey, what's going on?" Peter's voice, slightly groggy.
"Barnes is leaving," Strange said, "and it's best if he stays here."
Warm, red energy surrounded Bucky, and he felt himself being lifted and pulled backward.
No. "Put me down." He struggled against it. He had to….
Something silver and round sailed through the air—a metal trashcan lid. It whizzed past the left side of his head toward Dr. Strange. Peter's hand whipped out, catching it mid-air. The energy released Bucky, and he dropped to his feet.
"Nice catch," a familiar voice commended.
A figure emerged from behind a car—tall, blonde, square shoulders, a bushy beard. He wore a filthy, brown jacket that covered two-thirds of a pair of familiar blue pants.
It can't be. Even as Bucky thought it, he knew it was.
"Steve." In two seconds, Bucky closed the distance, standing in the middle of the quiet street.
The unease that had plagued him vanished. This was what he'd been searching for. He didn't know how he knew, but somehow, he had known Steve was nearby. He'd felt him, even though he didn't believe in that ESP crap.
Steve's blue eyes studied him, pained and disbelieving. "Bucky?"
"Yeah." He smiled, blinking as the world blurred through tears. How was this possible?
The answer came to him as he stared into the confused, familiar face. The multi-verse. This wasn't his Steve. It was another Steve, from a different universe. "I think I may be a different Buck, and you might be a different Steve."
Steve's eyes narrowed, and he tensed. "What was my mother's name?"
"Sarah."
"Did I pull you off a table in a German Weapons facility?"
"Yeah." Whatever universe this Steve was from, their history was the similar.
"I said I thought you were dead. What did you say?"
"I thought you were smaller."
Steve shook his head, his eyes bright with tears. "What's happening, Buck?"
"Oh wow, oh no, this might be bad." Peter was there suddenly, his gaze darting between the two. "Oh, hi," he extended his hand to Steve. "I'm Peter Parker. I'm not sure if you know me…no, of course, you know me, because you have to know Peter Parker if Dr. Strange's spell pulled you here. Are you from another universe? Or are you our Steve? I'm not entirely sure what happened to Steve here, so maybe you could be our Steve, but the spell probably worked on you, so you probably don't know who I am, right?"
Peter's rambling made Bucky light-headed.
Steve cocked his head, a tiny smile lifting his lips. "It's nice to meet you, Peter Parker. What's this about a spell?"
"Long story," Peter waved a hand in the air. "That was you a few hours ago, in the alley?"
"Yes. Sorry about taking off, but I'm just not sure what's going on here," Steve replied. "Things are…different. Confusing."
Bucky couldn't take his eyes off his friend. Even if this wasn't the Steve from this universe, it was still Steve. He felt it in his bones…
…in his soul.
"Why don't you come inside, and we'll figure all this out?" Bucky suggested, finally tearing his eyes away to glance back at Dr. Strange.
The sorcerer remained on the steps, arms crossed, brow furrowed.
Steve's gaze focused on Bucky for several seconds. "Goddamn you, Bucky, I don't know whether to punch you or hug you." Then he leaned forward and pulled Bucky into a rough hug
"What did I do?" Bucky asked, his throat tight, as he wrapped his arms around the solid mass of Steve Rogers.
"You…you… Goddamn it, I swear, you're a…jerk. A goddamned jerk." Steve squeezed so hard, Bucky couldn't breathe.
Oh, hell.... It was in every shudder of Steve's breath against the side of his neck. "I'm dead in your universe, aren't I?"
Steve pulled back, his cheeks wet, and nodded solemnly. "So many…." He shook his head, his eyes going distant, "…dead. All dead."
A pang twisted in Bucky's gut, snaking up into his chest, and he sucked in a deep breath. The Steve Rogers in front of him was alone, lost, and reeked of self-recrimination and failure. Bucky saw it in the lines carved into Steve's forehead, the untamed beard, and the shell-shocked eyes.
"Thanos?" Bucky asked.
Steve looked surprised. "Yes. How did you…Did he come here, too? But…how? Everything's….still here."
Bucky nodded. "He came. He destroyed half the life in this universe. We brought everyone back, managed to defeat him. Barely."
"I saw 14,000,605 possibilities," Strange said, walking up to them. "We succeeded in only one. This one."
Steve closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose. He swayed, and Bucky put a supporting hand on his arm.
"We reversed it, too, but when Thanos came back, we lost. He was destroying the entire universe when…." Steve lifted his head and looked at Bucky, "…I was suddenly here."
Bucky went cold at the thought of the entire universe disintegrating around Steve, but by some miracle, he'd been saved at the last minute. Dr. Strange's spell had reached across the barrier between universes and pulled him into this one. This Steve had lost everyone.
Everyone and everything.
"Jesus Christ." Bucky pulled Steve against him. "You tried. That's all you could do."
"It's my fault." Steve clutched at him. "All my fault. I refused to sacrifice Vision. I let Thanos get the mind stone. I couldn't leave well enough alone when he took out half the universe. We tried to fix it, but we shouldn't have. We should have just taken our losses and moved on. We had no right to risk it all. God…What have I done?"
Steve sagged, and Bucky tightened his grip, holding his friend upright. He couldn't let Steve fester in that guilt. It would undo him.
"You didn't do anything. Thanos is the one who wiped out the universe. You heard Dr. Strange…he saw over fourteen million possibilities, and we won in only this one. Nothing else you did would've made a difference."
A car horn startled him, then an angry voice. "You two make a cute couple but take it out of the street!"
Damn New Yorkers.
"Take it easy, Sir," Peter told the impatient driver. "We're moving."
Bucky pulled back but kept a firm arm around Steve. "Come on, buddy. Let's get you inside and cleaned up. You smell like a dumpster."
-0- -0- -0-
Peter couldn't sit still. He had too much energy. Why hadn't Captain Rogers been pulled back into his universe after the spell? How bad was it that he was here? Would it mess up the multi-verse? Where was the Captain Rogers of this universe, and if he was still alive, could there be two of them in the same universe? How would the law of conservation of energy apply here? Is it multi-versal or within universes? No one had ever studied multi-versal dynamics before—at least not in this universe.
This was groundbreaking physics.
"Well, this presents a problem," Dr. Strange said, leaning against the wall.
Wong, sitting behind the desk, sighed and nodded. "Yeah, a little bit."
Bucky stood by the open door, leaning against the frame, his arms crossed. "Why?"
"This isn't his universe," Strange said. "He doesn't belong here."
"His universe doesn't exist," Peter said. "We can't send him back."
There was no way Peter could let Strange cast a spell to send Rogers back to a universe that doesn't exist…or a whatever new universe Thanos might have created in its place. He'd be sending Rogers back to die.
He was thankful Rogers was in the shower. The guy had already been through a lot. He didn't need to listen to them debating his fate.
"You're not sending him back," Bucky agreed. "You try, you'll have to go through me."
"And me!" Peter echoed. "You tried last time, Dr. Strange. I kind of kicked your ass."
The sorcerer gave him a skeptical look. "Sure you did. Convenient that I can't remember."
"I did. I didn't want to, but I was trying to save the folks you wanted to send back. You were trying to get the magic box thingie from me, and we went to the Mirror Dimension or Universe, or whatever you called it, and there were these spirals and, well, math beats magic anytime."
Dr. Strange looked confused, his gaze darting between Peter and Bucky, then he sighed. "I can't send him back, anyway. We don't know if his universe exists, and now that the barriers are closed, casting a spell to send him back would require breaching those barriers and risk other entities slipping through."
"Why wasn't he sent back after you cast the spell?" Peter asked.
Dr. Strange shook his head. "Since I don't remember casting that spell, I don't know for sure, but I have an idea." He glanced at Wong, then looked at Bucky. "And it has to do with you."
Bucky straightened, his arms dropping to his side. "Me? I didn't do anything."
"That feeling you had before, where you felt like you need to go somewhere? Find something? Do you still feel it?" Strange asked.
"No." Bucky looked uncomfortable. "I found it."
"Exactly." Strange nodded. "You were looking for Steve."
"I don't have telepathic or ESP abilities."
Strange sighed and glanced at the ceiling. "When I freed your soul from its body—"
"When you attacked me, you mean," Bucky corrected.
Strange ignored the jab. "Souls are energy. Freed from a body, that energy can sense other energy, especially energy that its familiar. You and Captain Rogers share a close bond. When your soul was outside your body, it began to drift away. That's never happened before. I had a hard time pulling you back and getting you back into your body."
"You were being drawn to your soulmate," Wong said.
Bucky crinkled his nose. "Steve and I aren't soulmates. We're friends. Brothers."
Wong gave him a condescending look. "We're not talking about the type of soulmates you see in silly movies. Souls bond with other souls. That manifests as love. Some soulmates are born, but most soulmates are forged through shared experiences and compatibility. You and Rogers grew up together. You've sacrificed your lives for one another. Your souls are bonded. I know you were born in 1917, but it's time to get over the defenses of toxic masculinity."
Peter stifled a smile at the look of insult that crossed Bucky's face.
"I'm not…toxic." Bucky protested weakly. He cleared his throat and dropped his gaze to the floor. His shoulders slumped heavily. "Steve and I aren't soulmates. If we were, he'd still be here."
"Where is Captain Rogers?" Peter asked. He had to know. "I mean, the one from this universe, of course?"
Bucky looked up at him, his jaw tight and his eyes distant. "He left. When he returned the stones, he stayed with the love of his life. He took the long way back."
The older man was obviously trying to keep a flat tone, but the devastation he felt was obvious in his eyes. It echoed what he'd felt inside ever since Aunt May's death and Strange's amnesia spell. Peter knew what it felt like to lose everyone.
It sucked.
He tried not to think of Aunt May, MJ, and Ned. Now wasn't the time. He needed to stay focused.
"Captain Rogers went back and messed with the timeline?" Dr. Strange sounded alarmed and took a couple step closer to Bucky. "You all let him?"
"No one lets Steve Rogers do anything," Bucky said. "That puts a hole in your theory, though, Doctor. If Steve and I were soulmates, he never would have left, right?"
"The mind doesn't always know what the soul knows," Wong interjected.
"True," Strange agreed. "Besides, just like a human being can love more than one person, a soul can bond with more than one person."
That made sense to Peter. Thinking of the people in his life that meant the most to him, he couldn't rank them. He loved them all in different ways.
He was so happy Bucky was himself again, out of the daze. He'd never have forgiven himself if he'd messed up another person's life. There was still one lingering question Dr. Strange hadn't answered.
"So why is Captain Rogers—from the other universe—still here? That has to do with Bucky, you said?"
"Yes," Strange nodded. "Again, since I don't remember the details of the spell I cast, this is all conjecture, but I believe it was the connection to you that kept Rogers in this universe. The bond between your souls—the bond you don't believe in, Sergeant Barnes—acted like a tether."
"I've got a bond with Steve," Bucky grumbled. "Of course, I do, but I don't believe in soulmates. If there is such a thing, Steve's soulmate is someone else. It sure as hell isn't me."
"What's all this about soulmates?" Steve Rogers, freshly cleaned, shaved, and wearing a baggy, worn pair of sweatpants and a gray T-shirt, padded into the room.
"Nothing." Bucky turned to Steve and smiled. "Ditched the beard, huh?"
Steve rubbed at his clean jaw. "It was getting hot and itchy."
His eyebrows flashed. "I know. You hungry?"
"Starving."
"Why don't you take a load off and tell me what I did to you back in your universe, then we'll round up some grub." Bucky pointed to an empty armchair near the desk.
Steve's smile faded. "What do you mean?"
"You said you didn't know whether to punch me or hug me."
With a heavy sigh, Steve dropped into the chair. He swallowed hard, his breath heavy, and clenched a fist on his lap.
"Are you okay?" Peter asked.
He couldn't imagine what the captain was going through, and it put his own situation into a strange context. Having everyone forget about him was horrible, but having the entire universe disintegrate around you was…
…incomprehensible.
"No, I'm not okay," Steve muttered, then looked up at Bucky with pained eyes. "Vormir."
Bucky gave a nod. "The planet with the soul stone?"
"Yeah. You and I went to retrieve it."
Oh, no…. Peter's stomach flip-flopped. He knew the story about Natasha. If Steve and Bucky went to Vormir…
"One of us had to sacrifice. We fought each other. It was close, but I was going to win. Then you pulled a gun out and put it to your head. You promised you'd blow your brains out if I died, and you'd let Thanos kill half the universe. I knew you you'd never let that happen. It was a bluff, but there was a look in your eyes, and, well, for a moment, I just… I hesitated, and that's all you needed. I found myself flat on my back, and you were gone."
"Oh, hell, Steve, I'm…I'm glad," Bucky said.
Steve's face hardened. "I'm not. It should have been me. Schmidt was there."
"The Schmidt with the creepy red skull face?" Bucky asked.
Steve nodded. "Yes. He delighted in watching us fight. It was the closest he could get to revenge, I think."
"Steve, hey," Bucky closed the distance between them and dropped to his knee in front of Steve. "I would've died, anyway, right? Thanos won. If I hadn't died in Vormir, I'd be dust. At least that way, I got a chance to…do something good. Make amends for all the things I was forced to do as the Winter Soldier."
A sob escaped Steve, and he scrubbed a hand over his face. "It didn't make a damn difference. Thanos won. The entire universe…gone. Everyone. Everything. They're all gone."
"That wasn't your fault. We barely defeated him here," Bucky said. "That was about a year ago in our universe. It just happened in yours?"
Steve nodded. "Like I said, everything was disintegrating around me, and then I found myself here."
"Events must have been altered enough to delay the attempt to reverse the blip," Strange said. "If any number of things happened differently, such as Lang not making out at the same time, Stark not surviving…"
"Stark survived." Steve took a steadying breath. "He wished he hadn't. He lost people he cared about. Pepper was the one he took the hardest. Lost himself in a bottle for a long time after his physical recovery."
Peter ached for that version of Mr. Stark. Without Pepper, there was no Morgan, no home in the woods. "Did he crack the time travel thing in your universe?"
Steve nodded. "Yes, but it took a while. We fought. He lashed out at me and Bucky—just about everyone, really—but especially Bucky. Things were…bad. He had a hard time putting the past behind him, even after everything that had happened with Thanos. Frankly, we all did."
"In our universe, Pepper survived," Bucky said. "Tony had a daughter named Morgan."
Steve gave a sad smile. "I'm glad. He deserves to be happy. I hope he and I can patch things up in this universe."
"He's uh…dead." Peter swallowed hard. "He didn't make it." He blinked against the hot sting of tears.
Mr. Stark. Aunt May. He kept losing people he loved.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself, you selfish idiot. You're alive. Your universe didn't get destroyed. MJ and Ned are alive and happy. Things could be worse.
"Tony got the glove from Thanos," Bucky explained, "used it to reverse the blip."
Steve looked devastated. "That never happened in my universe. Tony was taken out in middle of the battle." Steve shook his head. "We weren't a cohesive team. We came together the best we could, and we held our own for longer than we should have, but it was all in vain. Thanos got the gauntlet with the stones, and he used it."
"Oh." Bucky rocked back on his rear. "Was he surrounded by Outriders? Overwhelmed?"
Steve nodded. "Yeah, I didn't see it, but that's what I heard. I didn't even have time to mourn him. All I could do was keep fighting." He closed his eyes briefly, then looked at Bucky. "How did you know?"
"I was there, and I saw it happening. I shot a few, gave him an opening." Bucky shook his head. "One little difference, and Thanos won."
"Exactly," Strange said. "Since the Bucky of your universe died for the soul stone, he wasn't at the final battle. That one moment changed the outcome."
Wow. Peter tried not to think about how close they had come to losing. The multi-verse was…a lot to think about. How many versions of them were out there? Dr. Strange had seen over fourteen million possibilities, but he couldn't have seen all possibilities. There were virtually infinite combinations of events. Was there a universe out there where Thanos never won the first time, and half the universe was never blipped? He hoped so. He hoped there was a world where Tony Stark was still alive, Steve Rogers never left, Bucky Barnes wasn't alone, and Mysterio never revealed Spiderman's identity.
In fact, if Tony had never died, he'd never have given Peter the EDITH glasses, and that would have changed everything. Tony would've recognized Quentin Beck as Mysterio and dealt with him sooner. Instead, Peter had fallen for Mysterio's scam.
I'm so stupid. Mr. Stark trusted me with EDITH, and I turned them over to a guy I barely knew. I don't deserve the Stark Spiderman suit. Mr. Stark was right when he said I shouldn't have the suit if I'm nothing without it.
"So where I am in this timeline?" Steve's question brought Peter out of his bleak thoughts.
Bucky got to his feet and leaned against the desk. "You left. Someone had to return the stones and Thor's Hammer, and that was you. You never came back."
Steve leaned forward, his brow furrowed. "Did something go wrong?"
Bucky flashed a strained smile. "Something went right. In our universe, you and I didn't go to Vormir. I was dusted the first time. You, Stark, and Bruce went back in time to collect the stones. You ended up going back to a SHIELD base in 1970, where you saw Peggy. I guess it made you realize how much you miss her. When you had the chance to go back, you stayed there, lived a happy life with her."
"Oh." The lines in Steve's brow deepened and his jaw went slack. "Oh. God, Buck. That's what you meant with the soulmates talk. I heard the tale end." He rose to his feet. "I don't know why your Steve left. Yes, I love Peggy. I miss her every day, and I know she loved me, too."
"I know she did," Bucky said. "That much was obvious."
Steve gave a grateful smile. "She lived a good life, though…without me. After everything that's happened between us, I wouldn't have left you, Buck. I can promise you that. I don't know why your Steve did. Maybe the five years of you being dusted changed something inside him. The only thing I know is watching you sacrifice yourself to save the universe broke something inside me. He didn't… you don't…James Barnes deserves better than that. You never got a chance at a real life, and it kills me every time I think of what you went through for seventy years, and then when you finally get your mind back, Thanos comes. You never even had a chance to enjoy life, Buck. You got a raw deal, drew the shortest straw there ever was. I wish I could've saved you. I wish that more than anything."
"You did save me," Bucky said, shrugging his shoulders casually, but his blue eyes reeked of a simmering emotion Peter couldn't quite identify. "You helped me break free from Hydra. Did all that still happen in your timeline? The helicarriers? Berlin?"
Steve nodded. "You pulling me from the river? The apartment you were hiding out in in Bucharest?"
"Yeah."
"I wish we'd had more time together."
Bucky cleared his throat. "Well, we, uh, have time now. You may not be my Steve exactly, and I'm not your Bucky exactly, but we share the same history where it matters. You're still you, and I'm still me, and I meant it when I said I'm with you 'til the End of the Line."
Steve's eyes shimmered, and Peter turned away, scrubbing quickly at his own eyes. Listening to Bucky and Steve, Peter thought of Ned.
"I promise you, I won't turn into a supervillain and try to kill you." Peter still didn't know what Ned meant by that exactly, but he understood the sentiment. Loyalty. Friendship.
God, he missed Ned and MJ. He missed Ned's Star Wars obsession, his easy nature, his love of being the "guy in the chair." Most of all, Peter missed having someone to confide in.
"All this metaphysical stuff makes me hungry," Wong interrupted. "I'm gonna get some breakfast burritos."
Peter looked at the sorcerer. "Really?" Who could think of food right now?
His stomach grumbled. Okay, okay.
"There's a little place in Santa Fe. Best burritos in the world." Wong opened a portal. "I'll be back soon. Anyone a vegetarian?"
They all shook their heads, and Wong disappeared.
Peter turned to Dr. Strange. "You've been quiet."
The sorcerer tilted his head. "This doesn't involve me, anymore."
"So, Peter Parker," Steve faced him, "what's your role in all this?"
Peter took a deep breath and waved, offering an apologetic smile. "I'm, uh, Spiderman—but you know that, now, right, because of last night—and on behalf of whatever version of myself existed in your timeline, if I was in Berlin and sort of stole your shield for a little bit and tried to help Mr. Stark capture Bucky…Well, I'm sorry."
Steve chuckled sadly. "It's okay, kid. I knew you were young, but how young are you?"
"I'll be eighteen in August."
"Geez, so you were fourteen in Berlin?"
"Fifteen, actually." By two weeks, but that still counts.
"Jesus, Tony," Steve whispered, shaking his head.
"Hey, Mr. Stark told me to web you all up and keep my distance. I was trying to impress him, so I kind of went for extra credit."
"You looked up to Tony. He was a good guy, but he didn't always make the right decisions," Steve said.
"None of us do," Bucky added.
Peter gave Bucky an appreciative smile. He knew Tony Stark could be a bit…much, but that's what made him so great. He was smarter than just about everyone. He did so much for the world.
And so much for me….
He tried not to think too much about the Tony of the other universe. Had that Peter gone into space, too, and disintegrated? Having someone die in your arms….
…Aunt May.
Stop it, you gotta keep it together. You can't start crying like a kid.
"You okay, Peter?" Bucky asked, closing the distance between him. "This must be opening fresh wounds for you."
That acknowledgment was too much, and a few tears fell. Peter sucked in a breath and wiped at his eyes. "I'm okay."
"What am I missing here?" Steve asked, looking between the two.
"He lost his Aunt recently," Bucky said. "She was his legal guardian. Then, Dr. Strange here cast a spell to make the world forget about Peter Parker."
Dr. Strange tilted his head. "I don't remember doing that…of course."
"So," Bucky continued, "kid's lost everyone. His friends don't remember him. His Aunt was killed by a multi-dimensional visitor."
"That's rough. I'm sorry to hear that." Steve put a hand on Peter's shoulder. "I don't fully understand all this multi-verse stuff, but can someone explain how it happened?"
Peter sucked in a deep breath. It was time to fess up to Captain America. "The, uh, world found out I'm Spiderman. It was bad. My friends got arrested. Aunt May was arrested. The charges were dropped, but Happy—he's a Stark employee…."
"Yeah, I know him," Steve said, giving Peter's shoulder a squeeze before dropping his arm. "He's in my universe, too."
"Right. Right." Peter nodded. "Well, Happy was in trouble, too. My friends didn't get into MIT. Everyone's lives were ruined. I came to Dr. Strange, asked him if he could make it so the world didn't remember I'm Spiderman. He agreed to help, but it all happened so fast. I didn't realize it meant everyone would forget…my friends, my Aunt May, Happy. I asked him to change the spell mid-cast, and well…that was dangerous. The barriers between the universes opened, and people from other universes who know Peter Parker is Spiderman came through. We had to send them all back. It's a long story, but to stop everyone who knows Peter Parker is Spiderman—from every universe—coming into ours, I asked Dr. Strange to cast a spell to make everyone forget that I'm Spiderman. That sent everyone back…everyone except you."
"Well, that we know of," Dr. Strange added.
"Can't you reverse the spell?" Steve asked the sorcerer.
Strange shook his head. "Spells of this magnitude are very risky. I could, but not without risking a break between multi-verses."
"And after everything that happened, I can't let him risk that," Peter said, remembering Aunt May's dying words. With great power, there must come great responsibility.
"But you remember?" Steve asked Bucky.
"Yeah. Ironic, I know." Bucky pointed to his head and gave a self-conscious smile. "Benefits of having scrambled brains, I guess."
Captain Rogers paced a few steps. "So, what do we do now?"
"Nothing." The sorcerer headed to the door. "I can't send you back for two reasons—your universe doesn't exist, at least not in the form it was when you left, and if I tried, I'd risk people from other universes slipping into ours."
Peter couldn't believe the sorcerer was leaving. "Where are you going?"
Strange waved a dismissive hand in the air. "Like I said, there's nothing more for me to do here. I have other work to attend to. I'm sure you can all show yourselves out." He left the room, his steps impatient and his cape billowing behind him.
Rude. Peter gave the two men an apologetic glance. "Uh, he's not really a people person, kind of like you, Bucky, but—" The look he got form the older man had him changing course immediately, "uh, you're, like, really nice, with the pizza and the groceries. Forget I said anything."
"Don't sweat it, kid," Bucky said with a tolerant smile, then turned to Steve and slapped him on the arm. "I have an apartment in Brooklyn. You can crash with me if you don't mind sleeping on the floor. I haven't, uh, fully furnished it yet."
Peter shifted on his feet. This is where they said goodbye. It was nice being around people who knew who he was. It was really nice to know that more good had come out of the mess with the spell…another life saved, this time Captain Steve Rogers.
Aunt May hadn't died in vain.
"So, yeah, guess it's time to go," Peter told them. "It's been a very long couple of days. Thanks for all your help, Bucky. I'm so sorry about everything, but it turned out okay. I'm glad you didn't die, Captain Rogers. I'm so sorry about your universe. Thanos is…well… super evil. Probably a little crazy, too. I wonder how many universes he destroyed. God, what a horrible thought…."
"Hey, kid, take a breath." Bucky shook his head, a soft smile on his face. "You have my number, right?"
Peter nodded vigorously. "Yeah. Of course."
"Use it. I want texts or calls from you at least once a week. Think you can do that?"
Peter blinked. "Once a week? Why?"
"So I know you didn't get yourself killed doing your Spider thing."
Wow. Bucky actually cared about him. They'd only been around each other for a day. He figured the guy was sick of him by now.
"Seriously? Once a week?"
"Yep."
"What if I forget?" Peter asked.
"I'll come knocking on your door, and then I'll be annoyed," Bucky answered.
Peter wasn't sure how that would be any different than the man's normal emotional state, but he didn't want to find out. "Okay. Yes, sir." He gave what he hoped was an accurate salute. Barnes had been in the army for real, even though he wasn't a sergeant anymore…was it still okay to salute?
Bucky rolled his eyes and slapped Steve's arm. "First, though, we've gotta get you some clothes." Then he looked back at Peter. "What day in August is your birthday, by the way?"
Peter wasn't sure why that mattered, unless Bucky wanted to get him a present, which probably wasn't it at all. They hardly knew one another…but it would be nice to have someone remember his birthday. Maybe he was just reading too much into things.
"Uh, August 10th."
Bucky gave a curt nod. "Good to know." He slung an arm across Peter's shoulders. "Now, back to your problem…"
Peter smiled against the pit of emptiness inside him. "Thanks for trying, Bucky. It means a lot to me." He shrugged against the weight of Bucky's muscular arm. "There's no way to reverse the spell."
"I didn't remember Steve for a long time." Bucky gave a furtive glance at his old friend, "but that didn't stop him from trying to make me remember. Have you seen your friends?"
Yes, and they're better off without me. "Yeah. I even had a speech prepared, but they're on their way to MIT. They're happy. I messed up their lives once. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, the people I love will always be the ones who pay."
Bucky sighed and turned Peter to face him. "Yeah, okay, this life you've stepped into isn't an easy one. When I chose to follow Steve into the jaws of death, I knew the risks, but it was my choice to make. Do you think your friends would want to remember you?"
Remembering the look in Ned and MJs eyes as he told them they were about to forget, he nodded. "Yeah, but I think they're happier not knowing."
"That isn't your decision to make, kid." Bucky's huge palm gave his cheek a gentle slap. "Take it from someone whose had his memories erased."
"Even if they never remember the past few years knowing you," Steve added, "if what Dr. Strange says is true, some part of them will recognize you. They can get to know you all over again."
"You think I should?" Peter asked, allowing himself to feel hope for the first time since he'd walked away from MJ in the diner.
"I think you owe it to yourself and them to try. What was in that speech you wrote?"
"Just stuff I know about her that no one else would know. I was hoping I'd convince her."
"People are open to believing a lot these days after aliens invaded twice and half the universe vanished for five years," Bucky told him. "You might be surprised to find your friends willing to listen, if you say the right things to get their attention."
"And, we can help." Steve crossed his arms confidently. "I was Captain America in this universe, right?"
"Yeah, of course," Peter nodded.
"So, if they take some convincing, Bucky and I can vouch for your story. They're bound to listen to two Avengers."
"I was never an Avenger," Bucky corrected.
Steve sighed, a flicker of sadness crossing his face. "Right. For five years in my universe, you were."
"Did I have an Avenger name? Don't say it was The Winter Soldier."
"You tried to get away from it, but it followed you. Eventually you took the title back, made it your own and gave it new meaning, but the Wakandans called you—"
"White wolf," Bucky answered.
"White wolf?" Peter echoed. "Really? That's cool, because you're like a lone wolf and you're white?"
"Don't let, uh," Bucky glanced uncertainly at Steve, "Falcon hear you say that."
"I know Sam is Captain America now," Steve said. "I saw a news clip. He makes a great Captain America. You gonna rope him in?"
Bucky looked at Peter. "I'd like to, for both of you. Peter, are you okay with that?"
"Of course! Think we can let Happy know, too?" He missed Happy. "I'm not sure about Ned and MJ, though. They're heading off to MIT soon."
"It's your call," Bucky told him, "but it's only a three and a half hour drive, and there's always video conferencing. Plus, they have to come back to visit family on holidays, right?"
"Maybe." Peter tried to visualize how the conversations would go with MJ and Ned. Would it do more harm than good? Distract them during their first semester at MIT? Make them feel guilty for not remembering…if they even believed him.
-0- -0- -0-
Bucky leaned against the wall, casually eyeing the pedestrians on the sidewalk. Steve was on his left, and Dr. Strange was positioned on the opposite side of the doorway. They were all out of sight of the occupants of the building.
"Hey, uh, I'm Peter Parker." Bucky heard the young man in his earpiece.
"I've seen you in here before." A female voice. That must be M.J.
"Yeah, so, I have something to tell you and Ned – Hey Ned! – and it's going to be hard to believe. All I ask is that you both hear me out first. Then, if think I'm crazy, I'll leave, and I won't bother you again."
"Okaaay." MJ responded.
"How do you know my name?" A male voice, Ned, no doubt.
Bucky glanced at Steve. "This should be interesting."
"What's interesting?" Peter asked.
Bucky sighed.
"What are you talking about?" MJ asked.
"Just focus on your conversation," Bucky instructed Peter. "Don't talk to us or she really will think you're crazy."
"Sorry! Nothing," Peter said. "Okay, here goes. You know Doctor Strange, the sorcerer?"
"Yes," MJ said.
"Well, you know how he can do magic, and he's a powerful sorcerer? Oh, and Ned, magic is in your family, and sometimes your fingers tingle, right?"
"Uh, right," Ned said. "How did you know that? Are you a sorcerer, too?"
"No, no," Peter said. "Look I have it all down here." A paper crinkled. "Okay, here goes. We're friends. We have been friends. We've known each other for years. Ned, you built a Star Wars Lego Death Star. MJ, you were captain of the Decathlon team. You like the Italian word 'Boh.' You also like Black Dahlia."
"And you know all this how?" she asked. "Are you a creepy stalker?"
No, I'm not a stalker and I'm not creepy—at least I don't' think I'm creepy—but you promised you'd let me finish."
"No, I didn't."
"Oh, right, well, can you please let me finish?"
"Go ahead," MJ told him.
Bucky took a breath. The kid was blowing it.
"Thank you. Okay, so something happened. There was a thing with the multi-verse, and that's a very long story, but that's where the guy with the metal octopus arms came from. You do remember that, right?"
"Hard to forget," MJ said. "It was all over the news."
"Right, just making sure. I can't tell you everything because there are some things that I shouldn't tell you yet, anyway, but the point is that Dr. Strange had to cast a spell to make everyone forgot about me. It made you and Ned forget about me, too, and if you give me a chance, I can hopefully try to prove it to you. I don't want anything from you, and I know you're both going to MIT, I just thought maybe we could get to know one another again because you're both really cool people, and I liked having you in my life, and I miss you both, even though I know you don't miss me because you don't remember me."
"Um, okay, wow, that's, uh, really interesting. Ned this time. "Can you prove it? Do you know other super celebrities? Like, what about Hulk? Thor? Have any photos? Cell phone numbers? Can we Facetime one of them?"
"I think this might be our cue," Steve said, slapping Bucky on the chest.
Bucky nodded at Strange.
Leading the way, Bucky walked into the diner. It was closing time, and only Ned, Peter, and MJ were inside. Steve and Strange followed him inside, and Strange waved a hand. The door locked.
"Oh my, God! Captain America! Dr. Strange!" Ned was in front of them. "I can't believe it."
Bucky frowned. He had made it a point to change his appearance and hide his arm. Few people recognized him, so he wasn't quite sure why he felt insulted.
But he did.
Steve smiled and extended his hand. "It's nice to meet you."
Ned shook his hand vigorously, then turned to Peter. "You're telling the truth?!"
Peter had the wide-eyed look of a puppy hoping for a treat. "Yeah, I'm telling the truth."
Dr. Strange stepped forward. "Yeah, he's Peter Parker. You two know him. You're friends. You don't remember. I can't reverse the spell. I've done my thing." He looked at Barnes. "We're even now." Then he created a portal to the Sanctorum and vanished.
"Wow…" Ned looked awestruck. "That was the coolest thing I've ever seen."
MJ peered at them, her eyes wider than usual, but her face otherwise impassive. She was a tough cookie.
Peter took a deep breath. "So, now you know."
MJ met Bucky's gaze, her eyes probing, assessing. "Are you the Winter Soldier?"
He bit the inside of his cheek and went back to wishing no one recognized him. "I haven't been that for a while."
"What this guy says is true?"
"Yes, Ma'am."
She raised an eyebrow and looked at Peter. "Why would Dr. Strange make anyone forget about you? Who are you?"
Peter sucked in a deep breath, glanced uncertainly at Bucky and Steve, and then said, "That is a very long story, but I can't reveal everything to you just yet."
"Why not?"
"Some things, you're better off not knowing for now. Trust me…I know, you're probably going to say you don't trust me, and that's okay, because you don't know me, but you trust Captain America, right? Everyone trusts Captain America."
MJ looked at Steve. He straightened and flashed her his perfect smile. Bucky tried not to roll his eyes. Steve never quite figured out how to charm women, even after the serum, and apparently this Steve hadn't figured it out, either.
MJ's expression remained impassive, then her gaze slid to Bucky, and he wondered what she was thinking.
After a moment, she said, "I know your story. You're cool."
His lip twitched. He could see why Peter liked her.
Her mouth sat in a hard line, her brows tilting downward as she studied them. Finally, she nodded and turned to Peter. "Okay, Peter Parker, let's say I buy your story. What do you want?"
Looking like he just won the lottery, Peter bounced on the balls of his feet and grinned. "Nothing. Just, uh, just a chance for us to get to know one another again. You liked me before, so I'm pretty sure you'll like me again."
Ned took a step closer to Bucky, eyeing him intently. Bucky shifted, uncomfortable with both the kid's proximity and his scrutiny.
After a moment, Ned asked, in an awe-struck tone, "How many people have you killed?"
"Ned!" Peter sounded aghast. "That's really rude."
Bucky glared down at the kid.
"Um, nevermind." Ned took a step back. "Forget I asked."
Turning his gaze away from Ned, Bucky looked at MJ and gave her an affirming tilt of his head. "Peter's telling the truth. We know it's hard to believe, but you owe it to yourself to at least hear the kid out over a cup of coffee. Get to know him. You don't realize it yet, but you want to fight to remember what you were forced to forget. I know. Believe me."
MJ's eyebrow twitched, and she gave him a nod.
-0- -0- -0-
Peter rubbed his neck as he walked into his apartment, vowing to be more careful about what he used to anchor his webs. Unfortunately, zipping through the air didn't leave much time for careful consideration.
The Daily Bugle would no doubt be running another article about how Spiderman was a menace to property. He certainly hadn't expected the plaster to give way like that and he really hadn't wanted to crash into the roof of the old Chevy.
Tossing his keys on the counter, he hurried into the bathroom and inspected himself in the mirror. The Chevy's frame was almost all metal and solid as a tank. It left its mark. The cut on his right temple oozed blood, and he ran the water, quickly washing his face. The blood swirled down the drain, and he dried off, avoiding the wound so he didn't get blood on the only bathroom hand towel he owned.
"Happy birthday to me," he told his reflection.
Bucky was out of the country helping Captain America, but he promised he'd be back in a couple of days, and they'd celebrate then. At least Peter had someone to celebrate with.
MJ and Ned were getting ready to leave for MIT, packing up, dealing with housing issues, and everything else that went along with preparing for their new lives in Boston.
Without him.
A loud knock rattled the thin walls of the apartment. The rent wasn't due until tomorrow. The landlord couldn't be on his case already. Hurrying to the door, he opened it quickly.
He didn't expect the sight that greeted him.
"I hope you like chocolate," Bucky said, cake in one hand. "I'd ask your friends, but…."
Peter grinned. "They don't remember. Yeah, I do."
Steve, Sam, and Dr. Strange clustered around Bucky. Steve held five boxes of pizza, Sam and Strange held a couple of wrapped presents. He was surprised to see Sam. He knew Bucky had filled Sam in on the memory spell thing and the fact that Peter was Spiderman, but all that was done without him. This was the first time he'd seen Sam in the flesh since Mr. Stark's funeral, and Sam didn't even remember that Peter was there.
"Happy couldn't make it," Bucky informed him. "He wanted to, now that we've finally convinced him that you're Spiderman and May's nephew. He said he'll drop by later in the week."
"Happy birthday, Peter," Steve said.
"Yeah." Sam gave Bucky a side eye that reeked of irritation. "Happy birthday."
Peter wasn't sure where he stood with the new Captain America. "Hey, Sam—"
Sam's eyebrows shot up.
"Uh, Mr. Wilson? Or Cap—" Peter glanced quickly at Steve as the word caught in his throat. He had no idea what to call Sam. "Uh, I'm sorry about Berlin, but that was a really cool move you did with the little drone. The payload capacity on that thing must be off the charts!"
"Let's not talk about it." Sam shoved a present into Peter's hands.
"He's just upset because he didn't realize you were fourteen at the time, and he's sore about it," Bucky said. "Are you going to stand there, or can we come in?"
"Fifteen," Peter corrected, and shifted aside. "And, yeah, sorry, come in."
Peter grinned and closed the door behind him. The guys deposited the food and presents on the kitchen counters.
Peter tried to wipe the smile off his face as he looked at Bucky, but he failed. "You said you were out of the country, and we'd celebrate later."
"You are familiar with the concept of surprise parties, right?" Strange interjected.
"I am, I just didn't think…nevermind." Peter couldn't believe the sorcerer came. He didn't think Strange liked him all that much, and the guy really didn't seem like the party type. "Thank you, everyone."
Bucky sauntered up to him, head tilted, eyes narrowed. "What happened to your head?"
"Oh." Peter brought a hand to his temple. "Web mishap."
"Doesn't look too deep. You got any bandages in this place?"
"Uh, no." Peter answered.
He hadn't gotten a chance to do much shopping. He didn't even know what they were going to do for plates. He only had two plates and a couple of forks since he never had company over.
That, and he was living paycheck to paycheck.
Dr. Strange walked up to him and peered at the wound. "Superficial. Any blurred vision? Headache? Neck pain?"
"No, I'm good. Really." He assured them.
Sam walked into the kitchen and opened a cabinet. "Where are your plates?"
"Uh…" Peter shifted uncomfortably. "About that."
"Honestly…." Strange shook his head. "I'll be back." He opened a portal to the Sanctorum and stepped through. It closed behind him.
Another knock pulled his attention to the door.
"Guess your friends have arrived," Bucky remarked.
MJ and Ned? Peter bounced excitedly. They were too busy getting ready to leave for MIT. There was no way.
Bucky opened the door to reveal them, each carrying a present. Ned smiled, looking as nervous as someone about to meet their girlfriend's parents for the first time. MJ's lips merely twitched, but her eyes held the familiar, sassy glint he'd come to admire.
"This is so cool!" Ned beamed. "I can't believe I was friends with someone who hangs out with Avengers, and I don't remember any of it." He walked in, his eyes immediately spotting the Star Wars figurine on the table. "Emperor Palpatine!" He tossed his present on the counter and made a beeline toward the table. "The force lighting is so cool!"
Peter grinned. It was great seeing Ned. They'd only hung out a few times, and even though their relationship was still mostly one-sided, Ned was eager and accepting. His enthusiasm made everything better. Peter would miss him when he went to Boston.
MJ tilted her head at him. "What happened to your head?"
"Uh, tripped carrying groceries on the stairs." He hated lying to her.
Her expression revealed nothing as she stared silently at him for a second, then said, "You never told us why you know Avengers or why Dr. Strange needed to erase our memories."
Peter debated how to best answer when a portal opened up in the middle of the room, sparing him. Dr. Strange walked through, carrying a pile of plates, napkins, and utensils in his hands.
"Oh wow!" Ned scurried toward the sorcerer. "Hey, can you teach me magic? My grandma says we have it in our family."
Dr. Strange barely spared Ned a glance as he deposited the items in the kitchen. "Consider this another birthday present, Mr. Parker."
"Thank you, Dr. Strange." Peter had no idea what he'd do with so many dishes and utensils, but it's not like he didn't have the cabinet space to keep them.
"Look, if you're some kind of superhero and you don't want to tell us, that's fine," MJ said. "I know we don't know you well, or rather, you apparently know us well, but we don't know you well. Still, you know we're going to find out eventually."
Ned's eyes went wide. "Are you a superhero?"
Peter wished he could tell them, but there was too much at risk. They were heading off to MIT in less than two weeks, and he didn't want to disrupt their lives like he had the first time. They'd have fresh starts in college and deserved to have normal, wonderful, awesome first semesters.
Bucky, hands in his pockets, walked casually up to Ned. "If he told you that, I'd have to kill you."
Ned swallowed hard and backed up a step.
Sam chuckled and patted Bucky on the shoulder. "Oh, you're making Winter Soldier jokes now. That's progress, man."
"Th-That's a joke?" Ned smiled shakily. "Oh, right. Again, sorry for what I asked earlier. I mean, I just haven't met real life superheroes before…" his brow furrowed, "…that I remember, anyway."
Bucky's face softened, and he smiled. It looked genuine, and for a moment, Peter caught a glimpse of the James Buchanan Barnes he'd seen displayed in the Smithsonian.
"Don't worry about it, kid," Bucky said.
Ned visibly relaxed.
"Might as well dig into the pizza before it gets cold," Steve said.
Everyone grabbed plates and piled slices on them. Even Dr. Strange took a slice, and he really didn't look like a guy who got his hands messy with pizza sauce. After the food, it was time for cake. Bucky and Steve set and lit the candles.
"Do people still make wishes when they blow out birthday candles?" Bucky asked.
"Of course, man," Sam answered. "You've had birthdays since Hydra."
"Yeah, but not much chance or cause to celebrate them, you know, since I was on the run, in Wakanda getting my brains unscrambled, or dealing with legal stuff."
Peter wondered what those couple of years on the run had been like for Bucky, completely alone. It made him thankful for what he did have.
He looked around the faces as he pondered his wish. He already had most of what he wanted. The rest…well, that was gone forever.
He settled on being grateful that he had MJ and Ned back in his life, along with new friends, and blew out the candles.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I hope you enjoyed this short story. I know, it could have been much longer, but I've just come off of my Winter Soldier novel-length posting and wanted to keep the scope of this story contained. As for what Steve is going to do in this universe, there are so many possibilities. FYI, the scene of Bucky saving Tony during the final battle of Endgame comes from a rumored deleted scene.
For those of you who guessed Bucky was sensing Steve, I was delighted and hoped that made you eager for the next chapter. For those who didn't, I hope you enjoyed the surprise!
As always, I invite your feedback, so no need to be shy.