Chapter 35 - Upheaval - Rewritten
Author's Note: In which Obi-Wan talks to Dooku... and things begin to come apart. ;)
~ Amina Gila
Maul has no idea how Sidious found him and his brother, Savage. They've been hiding out on a small, mostly abandoned world while they plan their next moves. They hadn't gotten far when suddenly, his former master showed up. He had heard rumors about the chaos taking place on Coruscant, but he had paid it no heed. Perhaps he should have.
"Master," he gasps out, scrambling to kneel before the hooded figure. He knows, of course, that Sidious was unmasked and forced to flee Coruscant. "I was not expecting you to come here."
For a long, chilling moment, Sidious doesn't speak. "I have a proposal for you, my former apprentice," the Sith Master declares. "Join me. Help me destroy Dooku and his cohorts, and I will let you and your brother live."
Maul stiffens. He hates Sidious, but he knows that though he might be strong, Savage won't be powerful enough to survive in a duel against Sidious. Not yet. It's still too soon for them to destroy Sidious and his erstwhile apprentice, claiming their places as the true Sith Lords. And he also knows that this isn't a request; it's an order.
As he hesitates, Sidious shifts forward, a sinister gleam in his yellow eyes. "Kenobi is with them," he prompts, "And you will be able to avenge yourself upon him."
Maul closes his eyes for a moment. He hates Sidious, true, but he loathes Kenobi even more. He survived by sheer will and out of a desire for revenge. But still – "And after I have accomplished your goals, what will you do with me?" he asks bluntly.
Sidious cackles. "I will be in need of trained individuals who can hunt down any surviving Jedi. If Skywalker joins me as is his fate, then you will be the head of the Inquisitors."
And Maul can sense the truth of that in the Force. He doesn't need to talk to Savage; his brother will accept whatever he decides. It is time for him to make himself – themselves – a destiny which the galaxy will remember. He can play this game for now, secure in the knowledge that he won't be killed in the imminent future. Maybe he'll be able to figure out a viable way to take down Sidious. After all, treachery is the way of the Sith, and he wants revenge on Sidious as well. Perhaps if he kills Skywalker… but no. It is too soon to plan.
"I accept, my Master," Maul intones, bowing his head.
"Good." There's so much satisfaction and dark glee in that one word that Maul almost regrets consenting. Almost. But he doesn't really want to die yet, so he concedes that he'll have to begin playing the role of the obedient apprentice once again.
Slowly and silently, he rises to his feet, looking expectantly at Sidious. He's not disappointed. "Skywalker will become my right hand, my enforcer," the Sith Master tells them. "I want him broken, and I want Dooku and Kenobi dead. Eliminate his Padawan too."
Maul grins ferally. "It would be my pleasure," he hisses.
Sidious smirks. "You will have control of the droid armies with a rank above that of General Grievous. Do not fail me," he warns, "Or the consequences will be dire." With those words, he whirls and sweeps from the room.
"Are you serious, brother?" whispers Savage with no small amount of apprehension.
"We will get our revenge," Maul answers, deflecting the question. "Is that not what you wanted?"
Savage nods. "Of course," he agrees, skillfully covering up any misgivings.
"When the time is right, we will take the Empire for ourselves," Maul informs his brother when he knows that Sidious is too far away to hear. He can almost see that day, but he refuses to indulge himself in dreams when they're still far beyond his reach. Not now, but one day he will succeed, and together, he and his brother will take the legacy Sidious built for himself. That day will be the sweetest revenge of all.
**w**
"You wanted to speak with me?" Dooku inquires, looking up as Obi-Wan enters his office.
Obi-Wan feels more nervous than he should, he thinks, and he has no idea what possessed him to turn to Dooku, of all people, but he was left with no choice. He tried meditating for several hours before finally giving up. No matter how hard he tried, he was unable to actually release his emotions to the Force; they kept coming back, becoming increasingly stronger the longer he tried. He feels entirely off-balance and more desperate than he has in a long time.
"I did," he replies in a clipped voice, sitting down in a chair opposite Dooku's desk. "Apparently, Anakin found it helpful to talk to you."
Something almost like amusement flickers through Dooku's eyes for a moment. "Yes, he did," he confirms, as if Obi-Wan didn't already know that. "You are struggling." It's not a question.
Admitting to such a weakness feels, well, like a failure on his part, especially being as he's speaking to a Sith Lord. Dooku might not want to hurt him, but that doesn't make Obi-Wan any more comfortable confiding in him. "I am."
When it becomes clear to the Count that Obi-Wan doesn't want to elaborate, he speaks again. "Do you wish to speak about it? What, exactly, is troubling you?"
"I –" He hesitates, uncertain how much to expose himself. "I am not the Jedi I thought I was," he says at last, meeting Dooku's gaze evenly. He refuses to look away, even if he wants to. "I'm more attached to Anakin than I should be." Dooku was once a Jedi; he knows what the rules are like. He understands how the Jedi view attachment. In this way, at least, Obi-Wan is grateful that he doesn't need to worry about trying to explain the Jedi's beliefs to a stranger.
"I had wondered if you were aware," Dooku says neutrally, "When I saw both of you sleeping together." Obi-Wan twitches slightly at the mention of the incident. He had… not anticipated that the Count would enter and see them like that, or he might have refused Anakin – who is he trying to fool? It wouldn't have mattered even then because Anakin was in pain and needed his comfort. Denying him would have been a slap in the face and a further betrayal of everything they had ever built.
"It became clear to me that you treated him as… your child, even if you yourself was unaware if it," Dooku adds.
Obi-Wan feels himself flushing slightly, and he fights the urge to squirm. He's an adult. He doesn't need to feel embarrassed by Dooku's deductions, even though they're right. "Yes," he admits quietly, "That is true."
"You struggle with accepting your feelings, then?" the Count asks knowingly.
"I suppose," Obi-Wan allows, dipping his head in a nod. "It is… not easy. It goes against everything the Jedi have taught me."
"Yes, I can understand why you feel that way," Dooku says wryly. "Skywalker seems to have a way of inspiring affection and admiration among those with whom he associates." Is he – is he talking about himself? It's far too absurd of a thing for Obi-Wan to contemplate, so he brushes the thought aside. "Do not deny your feelings," he continues, pinning Obi-Wan with a look that could be labeled as stern. "You should not suppress what you feel. If you at least acknowledge your emotions, it will become easier for you."
Obi-Wan does his best not to glare. "I did," he bites out, "And it's not working."
If anything, the possessiveness within him has only grown stronger. He wants – he wants to claim Anakin as his, to dare the Force, Sidious, and anyone who seeks Anakin's harm to go through him before getting within a parsec of Anakin. He's unused to such feelings; they seem unnatural and foreign to him, but maybe they're not. Maybe this is how parents normally feel. He – he doesn't know. He's always been a Jedi, and the idea of having parents or children is anathema to them.
It doesn't help that his desire for… displays of physical affection has grown, something which has long been reserved solely for Anakin. He doesn't feel entirely like himself anymore and it's aggravating. But at the same time, Obi-Wan doesn't know if he wants to go back to feeling the way he used to. Being emotionally distant from Anakin was not the answer, because whether or not Obi-Wan wants to admit it to himself, his former Padawan needs more from him.
"That is probably because there is a part of you which is still resistant to what you are feeling," Dooku explains. "You must unlearn what you have learned as a Jedi. That does not mean you must stop being a Jedi; it simply means that you must begin to adapt to the situation in which you currently find yourself."
With advice like this, it's no wonder Anakin is listening to him. Is he right? Is Obi-Wan really resisting the emotions which he feels to his very core? It is possible, he supposes. He inhales slowly, trying to recenter himself. And failing. His Jedi training is at odds with what he feels. Perhaps Dooku is right. Perhaps he needs to let go of the Jedi way, at least insomuch as his attachment towards Anakin is involved. It's not as if the Jedi way enabled him to let go of his former Padawan.
"You should talk to Skywalker, tell him how you feel, perhaps," Dooku suggests after a momentary pause. He doesn't know what he's asking Obi-Wan to do, does he? Or perhaps he does, and Obi-Wan is still unable to accept what he needs to do.
"I don't think I can do that," Obi-Wan confesses, shifting a bit uncomfortably. This conversation is rapidly reaching a close, since he knows that whatever happens next is something he alone can decide. "I – I can work on acceptance, but I can't tell Anakin."
"Can't or won't?" Dooku inquires mildly.
Obi-Wan glares at him, though there's little heat in it. He doesn't answer. "I'll try meditating again," he says instead. "Thank you for taking the time to talk to me." The words are unpleasant to say, especially being as he's saying them to a Sith, but he's always been polite, so he won't stop now, simply because it makes him uncomfortable.
"Of course," Dooku nods as Obi-Wan rises to leave.
He can't tell Anakin how he feels; he doesn't even know how to put those feelings into words. Still, there is a part of him that very much likes the idea.
In the end, he remains silent, learning how to accept his new, strange feelings without being thrown off balance too much. Weeks later, as everything falls apart around them, Obi-Wan regrets that decision more than he can ever say.
**w**
Plumes of smoke waft through the air as Ahsoka slips back to consciousness, forcing her eyes open. A groan slips free as she pushes herself up. What happened? She takes stock of the lacerations and bruises covering her body as the memories slowly filter back. That's right. She had been talking to Obi-Wan in the control room when there was a massive explosion. She's been thrown and must have ended up here – wherever here is.
Ahsoka pushes back the debris, her eyes quickly adjusting to the darkened surroundings, courtesy of her species. She must have ended up in a side room. Blocked by fallen rubble ahead is an entrance to the control room. She struggles towards it, prying a piece of metal aside and peering out.
Small fires are visible, none of them major. They're already dying out with nothing to burn. From the light entering her enclosure, she realizes exactly how dire her predicament is. If she makes one wrong move, the steel that's blocking the entrance will come crashing down. On her. She winces. It's not a pleasant thought.
From somewhere else in the room, she hears coughing and Obi-Wan steps into her line of sight. Despite the dust covering him and blood from superficial scrapes, the Jedi Master looks relatively unharmed. He opens his mouth, maybe to call for her when something draws his attention.
Striding into the room with an arrogant air she's never before seen is Anakin. It positively reeks of superiority, an attitude he's never given to Obi-Wan. And that, coupled with the darkness swirling around him, trigger alarm bells to start ringing in her head. Something is wrong. She reaches out, brushing him gently, only to be shoved backwards violently. "Keep your senses to yourself, child. It's rude to poke at other people," a harsh voice sneers in her head. It doesn't quite sound like Anakin, but the voice is coming through their bond. What happened to him?
She can only watch in horror, as a cruel smile twists up Anakin's face, his eyes glinting a sickening shade of yellow. Vader? Is this Vader? She shakes her head. It can't be. Vader is still Anakin. This… thing doesn't seem anything like her master. "Well, well, we meet again, Master Kenobi," Anakin sneers, chuckling as though enjoying some private joke.
Obi-Wan's gaze becomes uneasy, shifting warily as though facing a spooked animal. He holds up his hands. "Anakin, what's wrong? I don't understand." His voice is soothing, betraying his obvious concern. Ahsoka is certain he senses the change too, but simply isn't sure what to make of it.
Anakin – though Ahsoka is sure it isn't Anakin, she doesn't know how else to refer to him – chuckles darkly, a blue blade hissing to life. He doesn't give a reply, instead lunging towards Obi-Wan, who brings his own lightsaber up just in time. Ahsoka watches in mounting panic and horror as their duel begins in earnest, though her sharp eye notes how Anakin is fighting much more sloppily than she's ever seen before.
As she watches his movements, she can't help but notice that he seems almost unacclimated to his own body, and a disturbing thought worms its way into her mind. Is it possible that Anakin is being possessed? It fits. Too well, actually. Shuttering, she gathers the Force, pushing back the rubble enough to crawl out. Whatever is happening, Anakin must be stopped, or she fears he may well kill Obi-Wan. She's never seen this streak of ruthlessness before.
"Stop!" she yells, hoping desperately to bring a semblance of calm back to the two. If they hear her, they ignore her. Anakin doesn't stop his relentless attack, using – she notes – lightsaber styles she doesn't think her master has ever really learned. Obi-Wan continues his patient parrying, drawing on all the skill he's mastered to block his opponent.
Groaning, she offers up a prayer to the Force, or whatever supernatural deity might be listening, praying that she is not forced to kill Anakin. Her two green blades hiss to life, and she charges towards them, determination flooding through her. A harsh laugh slips from Anakin as he whirls to block her.
"You'll have to do better if you want to kill me," he taunts, springing back, eyes alight with what seems to be a burning hatred.
"I don't!" cries Ahsoka, glaring at him, "Just snap out of it! You're better than this, Anakin! Don't let him get to you!"
"Come back to us, Anakin," urges Obi-Wan, his tone more pleading than Ahsoka has ever heard.
He freezes then, body going completely still, breathing ragged, almost as though there's an internal war going on within him. For a moment, she thinks a sliver of blue enters his eyes, but it's soon gone.
"Aw, how sweet," he scoffs, "The Jedi are begging and pouring out all the emotions they shouldn't have." He laughs derisively. "Now you admit it. You have attachments."
Ahsoka can't help the sting of hurt at the words, even though she knows they aren't really Anakin's own thoughts. It's almost as though whoever is possessing him is being influenced by Anakin's mind – the words sound similar to his, but not exactly. There's no pain behind them.
Moving as one, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka lunge towards him. A flick of his hand sends Ahsoka flying backwards. All the air is knocked from her lungs as she crashes into a wall, head slamming into it hard enough to nearly make her black out. She struggles, pushing back the sudden dizziness that overwhelms her as well as the anguish at seeing Obi-Wan fighting against Anakin.
The combatants back further into the room, where the damage is worse, leaping over and around the flames which are slowly dying out, licking their way through whatever fuel they can find to survive. She closes her eyes, willing it all to be over, but the constant clash of lightsaber accompanied by the acrid smell of smoke tells her otherwise.
Dazed, Ahsoka pulls herself to her feet, stumbling towards them. Somehow, she knows this won't end well, for any of them. Obi-Wan somehow manages to push Anakin off balance, and he tumbles to the ground, his lightsaber out of reach.
"Surrender," Obi-Wan's voice is oddly emotionless, though he's still tensed, as though anticipating resistance.
Anakin only laughs, raising his hands. A burst of lightning shoots from his left hand. Clenching his jaw, Obi-Wan deflects it, holding his lightsaber steady. Attracted to the metal in Anakin's right arm, it sparks backwards, engulfing his body. The attack immediately ceases as Anakin's body twitches, fighting off the effects of electrocution.
A gasp slips past Ahsoka's lips, and she forces herself to scramble towards them. "Why bother?" huffs Anakin, glowering at her. The bolt of lightning zapping towards her is completely unexpected. Burning agony engulfs her, and she barely registers being tossed back to the ground.
"Anakin, please, don't let him win," pleads Obi-Wan, kneeling next to his friend's body.
"Fight him," mutters Ahsoka, pushing herself up and seeking out his eyes. He's her brother, and she refuses to lose him to possession by a Sith Lord.
"We're here with you," murmurs Obi-Wan, running his hand down Anakin's arm. Anakin pinches his eyes closed, his body going rigid. Ahsoka can almost feel him struggling as she shakily stands up and walks towards them.
Suddenly, Anakin's eyes open, the torment in them obvious. Relief courses through her when she realizes that they are indeed blue again. His lightsaber flies to his hand, but he doesn't ignite it immediately. "I'm sorry, Master," he gasps out. Before anyone can stop him, he ignites the blade, plunging it through his own chest.
Ahsoka screams, her legs buckling from under her in shock. She can see the pain in Anakin's eyes – mixed with determination and resignation – but he doesn't make a sound.
"Anakin!" The raw pain in Obi-Wan's voice is like an additional blow to her heart. He pulls Anakin's body into his arms. "Why?" he whispers.
"Couldn't stop him," mutters Anakin, shifting himself closer to Obi-Wan.
Ahsoka crawls over to Anakin, crouching next to him, unable to hold back the tears clouding her vision. He's dying right in front of her, and there's nothing she can do to stop it.
"Come on, Skyguy," she chokes, "You can't leave me."
His eyes find her, and she can see the sincere regret in them. "I'm s-sorry, Snips," he gasps out, his breath becoming labored.
"Don't die on me now, Anakin," begs Obi-Wan, one of his hands absentmindedly brushing through Anakin's hair, almost as though he's still a child. It sends a stabbing pain through Ahsoka again, and she holds back a sob. Anakin is – she supposes – like Obi-Wan's son. She couldn't imagine the pain he's experiencing seeing him die and knowing there's nothing he can do to stop it.
"No… c-choice," Anakin whispers. From his expression, she can tell it hurts to talk. His gaze is already drifting out of focus. He seems to be struggling to hold on as long as possible.
"Help is coming," Obi-Wan murmurs, even though Ahsoka can tell that he knows it's too late. He's simply unable to accept it.
"Didn't… want to… put you… through this," Anakin gasps out, holding Obi-Wan's eyes. He glances over at Ahsoka, including her in his words.
Ahsoka is rendered speechless, unable to even process her thoughts enough to put them into words. Watching her master die is tearing a hole inside her that she doubts can ever be filled.
"Anakin," breathes Obi-Wan, his tone pleading. He holds his best friend's body closer. "Don't die now. We've won the war. You can't –" His voice breaks, and he can't finish. "I love you." Ahsoka isn't sure if she really heard him, but the ghost of a smile on Anakin's face indicates otherwise.
Anakin shakes his head slowly, pain filling his eyes. Ahsoka can tell that he knows he's almost dead. She can feel his Force signature rapidly fading, weakening their bond.
"I… love you both. I –" It's all Anakin manages to get out before his body goes limp, last traces of life rapidly fading away.
"No!" screams Ahsoka, breaking down into sobs.
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