The rain lightly tapped against the window lulling me from my sleep. Since Peeta and I have been sleeping together again the nightmares seem to stay away, for the most part. I will get the odd one, see the mutt's faces that held the tribute's eyes as they hunted me in the woods, Rue crying out my name, Prim turning to ash. Some of them are so horrible that dreams and reality seem to blur into one. But then I feel him, either his hand resting on my arm, or his breath in my hair as he whispers, "Everything is alright, you're safe with me." And I believe him. Because Peeta has always done what he can to keep me safe, even from my dreams.
This morning was different though, I woke up and found him lying next to me. There was very little light spilling in from outside, but enough to let me see him. He looked so young and innocent as he slept, his mouth slightly parted as he breathed lightly. His blonde hair tousled against the white pillow, his hand resting next to his face. I reached out and traced his bottom lip with my finger tip. He looked so handsome. I think back to our lives before the games and I had always noticed it, but tried to ignore it. The girls in school would gush about him, arguing what was his most attractive quality, his broad shoulders, blonde hair or eyes. Silently, I thought his eyes, but I never told them that.
I lie down and snuggle into his side, wrapping the quilt around us. He stirs slightly at my movement and wraps his arms around me, and instantly I feel safe.
"Are you okay?" He asks, giving my forehead a light kiss.
I nod, "More than okay." I say and kiss him. I feel him smile against my lips as he hugs me tighter. The kissing grows more intense as something changes from sweetness to hunger. I shift so I lie on top of him, my legs on either side of his hips. Sitting up, I pull my baggy top over my head, flinging it to the floor next to me. I watch his eyes travel up my body to meet my face, so much love in them I find it hard not to look away with embarrassment.
He sat up and took my face in his hands, bringing our lips together so softly. "You are so beautiful." He whispers against my lips, sending tingles all over my body. I could have kissed him like that forever, just enjoying him. The feeling of him being close to me, his one hand now running through my hair, getting tangled in the curls. It was magnificent, this feeling that I have only shared with Peeta. That we have only shared together.
I let him shift us so that he is lying on top of me, his hips grinding into mine. He kept his body tightly pressed against mine so there was no space between us as he gently started kissing my neck, just below my ear. My body involuntarily shivered as his cold breath hit the wet sensitive skin on my neck, sending goosebumps up my arms. It felt amazing, intoxicating, I couldn't wait for the next kiss before he'd even finished the last one.
Slowly the kisses trailed down my body, and I found myself arching my back into him, letting him know how good this felt. I try to touch him, but he gently pushes me away, "Not yet." He said as he kissed my collar bone, then slowly uncliped my bra and cupped my breasts. He laid gentle kisses over them, slowly sucking on each nipple until they were hard in his mouth.
It was hard to control myself, to let him take control when all I wanted was to touch him. But the want made it feel so good. My breathing was uneven, coming in little bouts of hiccups as he continued travelling down my body. I found myself biting my bottom lip to stop myself from moaning out loud.
He stops as he reaches my thighs, his fingers reaching under the fabric of my underwear that rested on my hips. He slowly pulled them up over my legs, discarding them somewhere as he kissed my inner thighs. Each spot he kissed tingled as the nerve endings came alight from his touch. It was hard not to come undone right there and then.
Finally after what felt like a lifetime, he buried his face between my legs. I let the moan I had been holding escape. He licks me slowly at first, teasing me to an edge I was already at. "Please Peeta." I moan without realising. I hear him laugh lightly but he doesn't go any faster, still keeping a steady pace which makes my back arch into him, trying to feel more of him. Finally, he picks up the pace and lets a finger explore inside me. It's too much for me to bear and I come undone not long before he has started. My legs tightening around him as my body spasmed uncontrollably. It felt euphoric.
As the tingles began to calm down, he came up and smiled down at me, laying a gentle kiss on my lips. "Why didn't we do this sooner?" I ask, still breathless against his lips.
"I ask myself that every time we do it." He breathed, caressing my face. I helped him pull his clothes off quickly as possible, anticipation shaking through both of us. This felt so naughty, like we had discovered something we weren't supposed to.
Does sex feel this good for everyone? He pulls a condom on himself before he is hovering over me, I reach down and run my hand up and down his erection. I feel his body shiver against mind and his eyes fill with a heat and longing that they only hold when looking at me. I guide him into me. It doesn't hurt any more, now it only feels good. Really good.
Sex with Peeta wasn't what i expect. I expected it to feel nice, of course, but I never thought it would feel this good. It was hard to control myself, my nails digging harder into his back with each thrust. The feeling of him inside me was something I couldn't describe. His breath was hot against my neck as he kissed me again. I realised I was making a lot of noise and was glad that we didn't have that many neighbours up here in the Victors Village.
The tingling fire rose as I came undone again, gripping on to his muscles as he followed me. Our bodies shivered together as we collapsed in a sweaty heap, tangled up in the white sheets. His head rested on my chest as he panted away, slowly catching his breath. I found myself running my hand through his hair. "Wow." He breathed when finally his breathing returned to normal.
"Yeah." Is all I could think to respond, because what else is there to say? He lifted his head up, giving me a small cheeky smile.
"Twice?" He asked playfully.
I grinned back and lightly slapped him on the shoulder. "Yes, twice."
He looked very pleased with himself at this. "I am getting good at this."
He joked and rested his head on my chest again. I continue with running my hand through his hair, letting myself enjoy the moment.
"I love you." I whispered against his hair.
He looked up again, staring at me with those blue eyes I just wanted to fall into and get lost in. "I love you too." He kissed me tenderly on the lips, as if that seals our love for one another.
We watch the sun rise through the large window as we lay in bed, unmoving. By the time we venture down for breakfast, it must have been late morning. We both eat a breakfast of Peeta's scones from his bakery smothered in butter and jam. The taste was so exquisite I couldn't stop complimenting him on them.
The bakery was rebuilt last year, and business was booming. People came from other districts and the capitol just to eat at Peeta's bakery. And who could blame them, his food always tasted amazing. But I think people usually came to see the art on his work. The display at the shop window always had a new design most days. Some days each cookie held a Primrose, or an animal's face. Some days he would make a big picture out of all the cookies or muffins together. Probably his best work was when he made a huge Mocking Jay out of muffins. It still blew my mind how talented he was.
But today was sunday, and on sundays he closed the bakery for a day for us to spend the whole day together. Summer was nearing, and the air outside was warm now that the rain had stopped.
"I think it's time for another swimming lesson." I said, getting up off the stool to find some towels. Our last swimming lesson was inside the quarter quell, I told Peeta about it quickly just in case his memories were jumbled. He nodded that he remembered it and that the capitol didn't mess with that memory.
"Where can we go swimming?" He asked as I headed out the room.
"I know a place."
After we packed a bag with towels, some food, Peeta's drawing book and pencils, we headed out. The walk to the lakes took longer than I was used to. But I don't say anything, instead I stroll along with Peeta, hand in hand taking in the beauty of the woods around me. The flickering sun rays through the leaves above us, the grass still slightly damp with dew. Animals scurried around on the floor below. I try to enjoy the sight of them and not think of them as food. Finally I look at Peeta, admiring the way the green of the leaves brightens the blue in his eyes. Or the way the sun danced in his hair. He was so beautiful.
We get closer to the lake and it's brimming with life. A few rabbits sit near the edge of the water lapping up the crystal clear water. Insects buzz around us. Bumble bees carrying nectar to their hives fly past us. The buzz of their wings are triggering for both of us, reminding us of the tracker jackers in the games. I can see Glimmers body now, lifeless, her beauty stripped away as the puss oozed out of the stings. I swallowed the bile starting to rise in my throat and shake the memories away.
Sitting at the water edge, I dip my feet in. The water is cold but warmer than you'd expect. Peeta does the same and quickly takes his foot back out.
"I'm not going in that, it's freezing." He says and brings his good leg back up to his chest, hugging it close to him. He let the fake leg dangle in the water.
"Don't be a baby." I teased and pulled my top over my head. I smile when I look back at him and find him staring at me, his mouth slightly parted taking me in. Even now, after he's seen my naked countless times, he still stares at me like he's the luckiest man alive.
I quickly stand up, pull down my trousers and underwear and jump in. The cold water surrounds me, enveloping me in an icy kiss. I quickly swim back up to the surface, enjoying the shocked look on Peeta's face.
"Y-you go in there naked?" He stammered, not bothering to hide his shocked expression.
I nod and laugh. "Of course. There isn't much need for a swimming costume here in district 12 is there? And I think it would have been a bit suspicious if I had bought one back then." I think back to before the uprising, there were no lakes inside the district. Only this lake my father used to bring me too as a child. But this lake was in the woods, where we weren't allowed to go. I was lucky that I knew to swim at all, no one else did in 12, including Peeta.
I swam up to the water's edge to be near him. I found my lip quivering from the cold, but I was slowly adapting to it.
He pondered my answer for a second then nodded, "Yeah, I guess you're right. But shouldn't you leave your underwear on or something?"
He asks, nodding to my pile of clothes.
"I'll put them back on if it makes you feel more comfortable." I teased and began to get out, but he laughed and shook his head at me.
"No, no. You can stay as naked as you like, I'm not complaining. I just thought it might be a bit warmer for you." He remarked, flashing me a cheeky grin.
"I'm fine Peeta, now stop stalling and get in here." I splash him lightly and swim to the lake centre, floating on my back admiring the view of the blue sky peaking through the dense trees. I feel the water shift around me. Looking up, I watch as Peeta walks into the water, enjoying the way the light danced over his toned body. He was just as battered as I was. But every scar and burn was beautiful to me.
He wasn't as brave as me, just jumping in like I did. He edged in slowly. He gasped as the water reached his belly, the coldness taking his breath away.
"Y-you're c-crazy. It's f-freezing in here." He said between shivers and slowly lowered his body in, groaning aloud at the coldness. I couldn't help but laugh as I watched him. His gaze found mind and he frowned at me, acting annoyed that I was laughing at him. Then slowly he smiled and laughed too.
I swam to him, wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "C-carry on doing that, and I'll w-warm up soon enough." He stammered, his arms going to my waist pulling me closer to him.
I pondered this for a moment. "Hmm… I'll make you a deal. If you do well today, listen to me and follow my instructions, I'll make it worth your while."
He raised his eyebrows, "What will you do?"
I pushed away from him, and began swimming away. "You'll have to do as I say and then you'll find out."
He thought about it for a second, then nodded eagerly. "Okay."The days goes by fast and Peeta learns quickly. I wouldn't trust him to go swimming on his own, but I'd be fairly confident that if he fell into some water he wouldn't drown.
The sun was starting it's slow descent in the sky, and with it the air and water got slightly colder. The sound of Peeta's teeth rattling against one another was beginning to scare the animals away, so I said we should start to dry off. After wiping most of the water off my skin, I lie down on my damp towel, enjoying the little warmth of the sun against my skin. Peeta does the same, lying next to me but he's fully dressed now.
"Draw me, if you'd like." I said, looking up at him through my eyelashes.
He smiled at me, "I always draw you, nearly all my paintings are of you." He said, not understanding my meaning.
"Yes, but I meant like this." I said, turning myself to lie on my side. His eyes scanned my naked body and his eyes lit up with realisation.
"Are you sure?" He asked.
I nodded slowly, "Of course, it's your reward for amusing me today."
"Katniss," he began, his voice serious, "you don't have to do this to please me."
"I'm not," I started, "I'm doing it because I want to."
He thought about it for a moment then nodded, "Okay, well if you don't mind lying like this…"
I let him position me however he liked, which was me lying on my right side, my right arm straight against the floor above me as my head rested gently on it. It was a bit awkward to lie there for the hour or so it took, but watching Peeta draw me like this made my stomach flutter. The way he blushed, the way he bit his bottom lip with concentration. He kept showering me with compliments the entire time, telling me how beautiful I was. For a moment, I almost believed him.
When he was done, he showed me tentatively, wanting my approval. He hadn't coloured it yet, but the sketch was breathtaking. I was led there on the grass, the lake and woods behind me. My naked body was covered in scars, but he even managed to make them look beautiful too. I didn't feel embarrassed looking at the drawing, it was like I was seeing myself through Peeta's eyes for the first time.
"Wow, Peeta. It's beautiful." I whispered, looking up at him. "So this is how you see me." I said, glancing back down to the girl on the page. She looked so different to the women I saw when I looked in the mirror. She looked strong, majestic. All I saw was pain when I looked at myself.
He nodded, smiling broadly at my reaction. "I'm glad you like it."
"I do." I stated truthfully, even surprising myself that I did indeed like it.
After getting changed, we ate some of the food we packed then slowly made our way back home. Taking our time again, enjoying the walk.
Suddenly he stopped, pulling me to a stop too and made me look at him. His eyes looked a little clouded, confused. "You love me, real or not real?"
Ever since I first told him I loved him, he has asked me this a few more times. It's like the hijacking the capitol done tries to fight our love for each other out of him.
I take his face in my hands and shower himnin gentle kisses. Slowly the clouds begin to clear from his eyes. "Real."
*Thank you for reading, I will try my best to update once a week. -Shunice *