Deku had his bedroom door closed. He didn't want to speak to anyone. He really wished he could speak to his All Might. His Toshinori. It wasn't like the greatest hero of all time would have the answers to all the questions he had but at least he could put him at ease. There was only one thing for sure...
He wasn't made for this world. He did not grow up here enduring the fights and the issues. Things weren't solved by locking up bad guys. People maimed and killed others to make a point. To push forward with improvement was not something that would even happen within months.
Maybe their world was like that too?
Maybe he just didn't see it like others did. He was still a student after all- maybe his idea of being a hero was too romantic.
These thoughts only bothered him more. In a way... he felt like he was the only one who didn't belong there. Shigaraki seemed to belong more in this world than he did. Deku was only a fish out of water. He was a cookie cutter hero. He was no different the next one. He was no different than anyone else. He didn't make waves or improvement.
He was just there.
He hated himself more than normal. Tears stung his eyes. Maybe Hal was right- he couldn't face off with this Shouto Todorki. He was just here to save another form of himself. He would only work behind the scenes so Izuku could fix his own world but that didn't satisfy him. In a way, it was like he was facing his own short comings so soon.
Would All Might kill All for One if it meant a better world for everyone? If he could be killed?
Deku only closed his eyes. He couldn't see his hero killing someone but it probably did happen. All Might was not flawless.
And that was ok but why couldn't he feel the same for himself?
It took some time, but he finally fell asleep. He hadn't slept much in days.
The stress was too much.
X
Shigaraki opened the door to the hideout. It was three in the morning and the house was silent as can be. He didn't expect anyone to be up anyways. Why would he? He looked in the fridge to see someone had made chicken and rice. They had stored the leftovers in four different containers probably for whoever wanted some. He grabbed one, threw it into the microwave and started heating it up.
After three minutes, it dinged. He went to open it when he heard someone groan, making him jump.
He hated having someone behind him. It made him paranoid as hell. He looked around the area. The kitchen light barely lit up half of the living room. Shigaraki squinted his eyes some until he saw someone sit up on the couch. The villain stiffened some wondering why he didn't sense or hear anyone sleeping in the house. He watched as the person got off the couch and dragged themselves to the hallway.
It was Eri.
"Why the hell are you in the living room?" he snapped.
Shigaraki was only really mad because his heart was racing. He didn't like being surprised. He was mad at himself for not checking everywhere. He was getting too comfortable.
"S-sorry," she said as she yawned, "I fell asleep watching a movie."
"Hm."
Satisfied with the answer he was given, he returned to the microwave and grabbed the container out.
"Can I ask you something?"
Tomura groaned internally. He wasn't in the mood for someone's pity party or their fucking problems.
"I guess, but I wanna eat."
"Denki made the food. He can cook sometimes."
"Cool."
He sat down as Eri walked closer to the table. She looked like she had been crying some with those blood shot eyes. It didn't surprise him at all.
"Did you ever do something and regret it because you thought it was what you wanted but it really wasn't what you wanted?"
Shigaraki put his fork through his chicken, just giving her a dirty look.
"Sorry!" she threw her hands up immediately.
"For what?" he snapped.
"I just assumed you were ok with me... Asking Deku to... you know..."
"Why would I care what you two little shits do?" Shigaraki hissed, feeling more rage than he should.
"Well you seem upset and kind of jealous?" Eri said looking at the kitchen floor.
She didn't want to look into those angry red eyes.
If she would've looked at him, she would've seen the shock instead of anger all over his face. His mouth opened up wide like he was going to say something smart but nothing came out. She began to mess with her hair nervously waiting for him to say something but the villain couldn't speak. He just looked down at his food like it was going to give him the answers he needed.
"I saw how different things have been between you two and I wanted to say sorry for that. It was clear you were feeling some kind of way about it later. I haven't apologized to Shinou yet but I need too. I think I honestly messed up by idolizing Izuku so much I didn't care for anyone else's feelings in that moment."
"I still see no reason for you to be sorry to me. I don't give a fuck," he hissed stabbing his fork into his food some more with annoyance.
"It's because I like you. You're a good person."
"You think I'm a good person?"
That was something else. Someone thought he was a good person. Dabi would've pissed himself laughing at that.
"You're like an anti hero. A better one... One we need."
A geniue smile graced Tomura Shigaraki's lips. It was a rare, real smile only few had seen.
"I like the sound of that."
Eri smiled at him, "I'm glad because it's true. I hope when you get back to the other side, you will change your mind on where you stand."
His smile faded quickly as it had appeared. He frowned.
"What I do is no one's business. Especially there or here."
"You're right but you can change. You just have to want too. Even if it's for your own selfish reasons."
He bit his lip as he looked down at his now cold leftovers.
"I don't think I belong here anymore," Eri said quietly, "I feel like I'm out of place."
"I've had that same feeling all my life," Tomura said.
"Maybe so, but Deku makes you belong. Like he's home. I was just picked up, removed from my home. Then saved by Izuku. I stayed so long because I felt I owed him. Because I thought I loved him. I owed him my very life. Now I don't feel like I belong here. Like I lost my purpose."
"Then leave?" he suggested shrugging, "Why stay where you aren't wanted."
Eri frowned.
"Just think it through before you do anything stupid."
"Yea."
She walked off into the hallway leaving him alone again. He groaned and got up to reheat his food.
X
It was now four in the morning. Shigaraki couldn't sleep. He had stayed in the living room watching TV but everything continued to go through his head. He would've never got a hold of Endeavor's kid and killed him unless he had too. He had promised Dabi he would never lay a finger on the boy. This was whole different problem. He would be the ultimate anti hero. He would be killing for good.
This world was kill or be killed. This seemed like the world he belonged too.
This Shouto Todoroki had no problem with trying to kill them before.
Killing this kid would speed up the process going home. I should just agree to it and get this freak show over with.
He got up off the couch and headed down the hallway. His red eyes landed on Deku's door.
It was a weird feeling that overcame him. His heart fluttered in a weird way before it started to pound away in his chest. Shigaraki grabbed the door knob with all his fingers and thumb without meaning too. The gold door knob fell to the ground in a dust pile. He cursed at himself internally and hung his head. He was so caught up in his thoughts he forgot to hold up his pinkie.
I hate my life.
Shigaraki stomped down the hall to his room not giving a shit if he woke anyone up. He slammed his door shut and flung himself onto his bed. He hadn't drank today and he was almost regretting that he didn't. At least back at home in the League he had people around him who didn't make him think otherwise about his choices in life.
"Assholes," he muttered and closed his eyes shut.
X
X
Deku went to grab his door knob when it fell out of the socket onto the floor. He frowned at it trying to figure out what just happened. He managed to get his door open after a minute of messing with pieces left and it popped open. He went to step into the hallway when he noticed the pile of dust on the floor.
"Dickhead," he muttered.
"Hey."
Deku looked up to see Tomura leaning against the wall. He was dressed in something other than black for once. He wore a dark blue shirt and dark blue jeans. He looked as though he hadn't slept much.
"Did you destroy my door knob?" the small hero asked.
He already knew the answer but he wanted to know. Also... to see if he would lie about it.
"I did... well, by accident. I really didn't mean too."
"Oh. Well, ok. I'm ok with that."
Deku could forgive accidents... but why did he have a hold of his door knob in the first place?
"If I did anything to... um offend you, I'm sorry."
Deku's green eyes widened with shock. He... Tomura Shigaraki was sorry. He just blinked a few times before gaining his bearings and nodding too.
"I'm sorry too," he said.
Shigaraki actually felt a little better. What an odd feeling. Why were either one of them sorry?
"What do we do now?" Deku asked.
"I would love to get the hell out of here."
The small hero laughed, "Same."
The villain stared down at him. How could that freckled face fuck be more superior than him?
X
"Well, this isn't good news."
Izuku opened his eyes. She had forced him and Tenko to the stay the night in a room with an actual bed. She had hooked him up to an IV and watched his vitals all night. Tenko scratched his head.
"What's wrong?" he asked sleepily.
"I analyzed all the things in your blood. You obviously haven't been eating right or taking vitamins. I'm not shocked at all but I will be keeping you until tomorrow morning to make sure you're ok. That's not what troubles me the most though."
She grabbed a chair and sat down. Recovery Girl flipped through a few sheets before looking up at Izuku.
"The part of your DNA that contains your quirk information is falling apart. It seems it speeds up your cell regeneration to dangerous levels."
"How is that bad?" Tenko asked looking lost, "The second part anyways."
"Humans regenerate at a pace that doesn't speed up the process of dying. Whenever your DNA gets damaged, your body tries to fix the problem. It can't and continues to try anyways. You haven't started aging visibly yet that I have noticed but you will soon. Since I haven't tested how fast you're dying, I won't know how long you have. Your blood shows you're about twenty six at this point."
Izuku sat up a little more.
"Is there anything you can do about it?"
"No. Not at this moment I can't. Who poisoned you?"
"I can't be sure... It was a dark alley."
Tenko frowned at him and apparently she wasn't buying his story either.
"Can you come up with a better lie?" she asked looking annoyed.
"I'm not lying."
The room fell silent. Izuku offered no more words as he laid back and stared at the ceiling.
His dark, dirty secret was close to coming out.
...
He wasn't ready for it.
I just finished the last chapter for this story and it will be 33 chapters long. I started it yesterday and I struggled with the ending like I always do. I have a general idea for the next one I want to start. I know a year ago there was others I wanted to do but I can't remember and I lost some of my emails.
i want to attempt an a/b/o one after some research I did.
There's a story if any of you haven't read it yet (I haven't been reading since early last yr) called Baby Daddy Drama by deanvspanties on AO3. The chapters are freakin long and it's an emotional roller coaster ( i cried, i laughed and everything inbetweent) lol It's not finished but you will be reading for awhile. If you do read it, love them some love!