She's out of her mind. That's the only explanation for why she's standing in the middle of a store on Christmas Eve.
It's crowded, which is to be expected, but to the point that Kate has resorted to using her body as a shield for Eli so her son can shop without being jostled or nudged by others. She's already had one person elbow her on their way past, and another nearly knock her bag off her arm.
And then there's Eli. Finding presents for Rick, Martha, and Alexis was the first thing he mentioned that morning when he came into her room and crawled under the blankets with Kate, asking if she would please take him to find something. Even though she explained there were three presents for them under their Christmas tree, Eli wanted to do his own shopping.
Which is why they're standing in her mother's bookstore and her son is agonizing over what to buy for Castle. Martha's present, a scarf Jenny helped Eli pick out, is wrapped and dangling from Kate's arm. Alexis' present, a Scarlet Witch action figure - chosen because Eli says she reminds him of Wanda Maximoff - is wedged under her arm, but they've now walked the sales floor twice and Eli's no closer to picking a present.
"Buddy, I can help you find something…." she offers for the tenth time, only for Eli to shake his head at her. He wants to do it by himself, or at least without her help. Jenny, he said, didn't count.
While Eli kneels on the floor to pull a thick book full of comic book illustrations from the shelf, Kate feels a pair of eyes on her. It's not the first time during their shopping trip she's sensed people looking at her, and it's all she can do not to sigh. Most of the time she loves Evergreen and the people in it, but the way the gossip mill tends to churn drives her crazy.
Sure enough, when she glances over her shoulder, two older women she recognizes but can't name have their heads bent together and their eyes regularly flick to her. At least until they realize Kate is watching them. When she lifts an eyebrow in question, they both scurry off deeper into the store, and Kate smiles with satisfaction.
Not that it lasts long. In the time it takes for Eli to dismiss that book as a gift and put it back on the shelf, she notices Alfred Candela in the corner of her vision. He's paging through a book, but every six or seven pages he lifts his eyes to stare right at Kate. Unfortunately for her, Eli's walking right toward Alfred, seemingly heading for another part of the store.
"Kate, hey," Alfred calls when they get close, sliding the book back on the shelf. "I heard about the…..well, you know." He says quickly, affording a glance at Eli as the reason he doesn't elaborate.
"You and everyone else," she replies, glancing around the store. At least two other people are watching her carefully, leaving Kate feeling a little like she's in a fishbowl.
"Right, right," he nods, shoving both hands into his jacket. "Well, in any case, I think it's great. I'm excited for you. And for us."
"Us?" Kate wrinkles up her nose before she can help herself, her mind immediately trying to reconcile how Alfred might have anything to do with what's happening between her and Castle.
He seems to understand where her mind went because he's quickly shaking his head. "No, no no, not us as in you and me," Alfred sputters with a nervous laugh. "The town. It'll be good for the town."
His explanation makes very little sense to Kate, but she gives him a nod and gently nudges Eli so he'll keep going. "We're in a hurry, but thanks for the compliment," she says, blowing out a long breath once they've moved past Alfred. Maybe he's assuming Rick will move to Evergreen, she thinks to herself, though it's an absurd thought. She and Castle haven't discussed what's going to happen after tonight, much less any long-term plan.
Shoving all of that aside, Kate places both of her hands on Eli's shoulders as they walk, slightly reorienting him to where his grandmother sits writing on a clipboard. She looks up as they approach, opening her arms so Eli can climb onto her lap for a big hug.
"Shopping for Rick?" she asks with a knowing grin to Kate, but she points at Eli.
"Me, Nana. I'm trying to find him a present," Eli sighs, leaning back against her chest. "It's hard. I've looked forever."
Johanna doesn't try to hide her laugh, but she still dusts a kiss into Eli's hair. "Well, we will see what we can do. Do you know what you want to look for?"
Eli screws up his face. "Something cool. That's all I know."
"Like a book?"
"A comic book."
Johanna's laugh is soft, and she gestures for Kate to follow her to the left. "Well, I might be able to help. I don't have the Marvel comics you love so much, but Vikram talked me into ordering something that might work," she explains, turning down the last aisle in the store and pointing Eli to the second shelf from the bottom.
Lined neatly in a row are stacks of graphic novels. Going by the titles and some of the imagery on the covers, they're meant for adults, but Kate spots at least three that seem to be based on the works of Edgar Allen Poe. Smiling at her mom, she kneels down and plucks one from the shelf. "Eli, Castle would love these."
Her son looks unconvinced as he looks over her shoulder. "They look scary."
Kate won't dispute that. Edgar Allen Poe's stuff is quite dark, and the book in her hands hasn't taken that lightly. "They are a little scary, but here's something you don't know," she says with a smile. "Remember Martha telling you that Castle changed his name?"
She waits until Eli nods, placing the graphic novel back onto the shelf. "Well, when he did that, he didn't just change his last name. He changed his middle name to Edgar after one of his favorite authors. And that author, Edgar Allen Poe, wrote the stories that these comics are based on."
"So he'll like it? Even though it's scary?"
"He'll love it, bud. I promise," Kate grins, leaning in to lightly tickle his neck until Eli squirms and pushes her hand away.
Johanna holds on to him when he leans forward to pick up two of the books, placing them carefully in his lap so they won't get bent, and then he gives her a glance over his shoulder. "Nana, can you take me to the checkout? I"m ready to go now."
He beams when both Kate and Johanna laugh, the older woman nodding her head. "How can I turn down an offer like that?" she asks, taking the lead while Kate gets back to her feet.
She's already paid for the books and the action figure when she spots another woman staring at her. Unlike everyone else she's seen in the store today, Kate can't place this one as a local, but she smiles politely and turns her attention back to watching her mother help Eli wrap his presents. It's taking up the valuable time she could be using to answer emails from work, even if she's out of the office until after the holiday, police work doesn't just stop, but Kate reasons that if the gifts are wrapped here she won't have to mess with it once she's back home.
As Eli pulls the red paper dotted with cartoon reindeer tight, the woman makes a direct line to Kate and gives her a smile. "I just wanted to tell you," she begins, never offering an introduction to herself. "That I'm so thrilled about this. It's just wonderful. I thought someone should thank you, and it might as well be me."
Apparently having said what she came to say, the woman is gone before Kate can utter a word. She's left standing at the counter with her mouth open, utterly confused as to why kissing Rick Castle in a bar would prompt a complete stranger to thank her.
Maybe the woman thought she was someone else, maybe the gossip mill has gotten out of control and the rumor flying around is completely different than what actually happened. It wouldn't be the first time.
But as she and Eli walk home with their packages, she can't fight the unease that's taken root in her gut and the feeling there's something the entire town knows that she doesn't.
"Am I interrupting?"
Alexis appears mostly ready for the gala when he steps into her open doorway. She's pulled her hair up in some sort of thing with a braid and some curls, and her face has just enough makeup that she looks older, but not like she's a 15-year-old trying to pull off her mid-20s.
"No, I'm just texting with Paige and Taylor. They wanted to see a photo of my dress and my hair," she grins, dropping her phone onto the bed. The green gown from Kate is still hanging over Alexis' bathroom door and a pair of gold heels Rick assumes she bought in town resting against the wall. But Rick smiles, able to picture how Alexis will look in an hour or so when the gala starts and everyone is gathered downstairs.
"Well," he says, stepping into her room and closing the door behind him. "I wanted to talk to you for a minute."
"Sure, dad," Alexis replies, sliding over to make room for him at the end of her bed.
Once he's settled beside her, Rick angles himself so he's leaning against the bedpost and afford a full view of her face. "You know this entire week has been a whirlwind. The wreck, running into Kate, being thrown into all these parties and all this Christmas cheer that neither of us was really looking for…." he smiles when Alexis chuckles and nods her head.
"This town has been good for us, Alexis. I found a few pieces of myself that I didn't even realize were missing, I've got an idea for a story that I'm really excited about, and…."
"Kate," his daughter says with a smirk.
"Yeah, Kate," he nods, unable to stop the smile curving at his lips. "I don't know what's going to happen with us, but she and I have talked and we want to try and make something work. That may mean I'm away from the city a couple of weeks a month, or she and Eli are coming to visit us in the city. I know it might seem sudden given that things with your mom were just finalized earlier this year, and…."
"Dad," Alexis stops him with a grin. "It's fine. I like Kate and I like Eli. And you deserve to be happy after everything that's happened. So does she."
While she's never exactly been a disagreeable kid, Rick convinced himself that he would need to sell his relationship with Kate. So now to have Alexis readily smile and agree, he's thrown a little off balance. "Man, I had this whole speech prepared…."
Alexis wrinkles up her nose at that. "Well, if it's that important to you, you can still say it."
"No, I'm good," he laughs. "But I should tell you I've also mulled the idea of staying in Evergreen. I know we just moved to Manhattan, and we talked about maybe getting a place in the Hamptons for the summer. So that's something you and I both should think about."
The redhead nods, looking down at her bare feet. "I mean…..I don't think I would mind moving here?" she offers. "It's so different from New York or LA, and I would miss seeing Gram all the time, but I like Evergreen. I've made friends here."
"Well, it's nothing we have to decide right now, Alexis. Kate doesn't even know I've been thinking about it, and I wouldn't want to move in and make her feel any pressure. It's just a possibility that I want to put in front of you so that we can weigh all the pros and cons."
"Now, that said, I've got something else for you." He's already in his tux, sans the jacket and bowtie, and getting to his feet, Rick pulls two wrapped boxes from his pockets. "I know you'll get most of your presents from your Gram and me when we get back to New York, but if your grandmother has taught me anything about women - an outfit isn't complete without accessories."
With a big smile, Alexis takes the smallest box first, unwrapping the blue and silver paper with careful hands. When she lifts the lid on the jewelry box, her eyes go wide at the sight of the scalloped gold band with a round emerald and one small diamond. "Dad, this is….."
Rick shrugs. "You said it yourself, Jenny is very talented."
Passing her the second box, Alexis is quick to unwrap it. The earrings are simple gold hoops with emerald teardrops dangling from them, but, like the ring, they're the type of jewelry that he knows his daughter likes. Judging by the tight hug she wraps him in once she's examined them, Rick decides he's hit a home run.
"You really didn't have to do this," Alexis says, pulling the ring from its box and sliding it onto her right hand. "But they're beautiful. Thank you."
"You're welcome, pumpkin," he replies, leaning in to give her another hug.
With her dress zipped and the straps adjusted in the right places, Kate gives herself a critical look in the mirror. The inky navy gown is a far cry from the conservative black one she'd intended to wear, though there's still time to change, but as she slowly turns in front of her full-length mirror she decides against it.
With thin straps and a scoop neck, the gown fits tight against her torso until the skirt flares out at her hips and falls into a small train. The slight shimmer of sequins catches the light when she moves, and the low back and her bare shoulders add just enough sex appeal that Kate can imagine the look on Rick's face when he finally sees her.
Smiling to herself, Kate secures one of her earrings and picks up the other to repeat the gesture as she takes a seat on the bench at the end of her bed. Her shoes are the last piece of her outfit, and as she buckles the ankle straps she calls to Eli.
"Bud, we're leaving soon. Do you have your shoes and your coat?"
The thump of her son's feet up the stairs would indicate that he listened to her for once and put his shoes on. With a grin, she moves back to her dresser to grab her grandmother's diamond ring and slides it onto her right hand when Eli runs into the room.
It's rare she dresses to the nines these days, but her son takes one look at her, and his mouth drops. Though she's determined not to let the opinion of a six-year-old make or break her outfit choice, Eli's blue eyes rove from the tip of her head to her toes and then he smiles. "Mom, you look like a princess."
"Aw, thank you, baby," she replies, carefully kneeling down to give Eli a hug. When he leans in to peck her on the cheek, Kate's sure her heart will explode. "Are you excited for tonight?"
Smiling for an altogether different reason now, Eli nods. "I love the pajama ball!"
One of her favorite things about the gala is that the kids aren't left out. While the adults dance and eat in the main area, the inn holds a pajama ball with all the things the kids love. It's not uncommon for a kid to escape and crash the regular party, or for parents to sneak out and see what's happening with them. Last year, both Eli and Sarah Grace showed up and shared dessert with their table.
"I know you do," she smiles, ruffling his hair. "And when we get home, we'll put out cookies for Santa, okay?"
Eyes wide at the mention of the guy in the red suit, Eli nods but once Kate has stood to her full height and walked away to find her fanciest coat, he realizes there's a very pressing problem. "Mom, are Rick, Alexis, and Martha coming for Christmas?" he asks the question from the doorway of her closet, such a hopeful look on his face that Kate hates to see it fall.
"They have to go back to New York tomorrow," she explains softly, taking his hand in hers once she's retrieved her coat and returned to the bench with him. "I'm sure if I ask, they'll try to come for a few minutes. But if they can't, we have to say we understand, okay?"
As she expects, her little boy's eyes fill with tears. "But I don't want them to leave," he whispers, immediately climbing onto her lap and pressing his face against her neck when Kate opens her arms.
"I know, buddy, but they can't stay forever. Alexis and Martha have to go somewhere right after Christmas."
"So why can't Rick stay here?" he blurts, wiping at his eyes with a sad little sob.
The truth is that beyond a need to get back to Manhattan and check on his loft, Kate isn't sure there is a reason. But she knows that if she says that to Eli, it's opening a can of worms that won't be easily returned to the container. "Eli, he has things to do. He's been away from home for almost a week. Wouldn't you want to go home if we were off somewhere for that long?"
Though he nods, there are still tears dripping down his face and falling onto Kate's neck and chest. "He's supposed to stay here," Eli murmurs as she slowly rubs circles against his back, a method used to lull him to sleep as a baby and to comfort him now.
"What if I told you he'll come back to see us?" Kate asks, resting her cheek against his hair. "It won't be all the time, but he wants to come back and see you. And me."
"Well he should," her son sniffs, raising up his head with a frustrated tilt of his mouth. "I like him a lot, and so do you."
Leaning back to get a better look at him, Kate shakes her head. "Eli, how do you know I like Rick?"
The eye-roll he responds with is definitely something he learned from her, as is the way he reaches up to pat her cheek. "I saw you kissing him. I was asleep but I kind of woke up and you kissed him in my room." And then he shrugs like it's no big deal.
"I….." she starts and then presses her lips together to consider what exactly she's going to say to her precocious son. "Are you okay with that?"
Eli gives an immediate nod. "He makes you smile and laugh like my dad did in those videos you showed me. And he'll play with my toys and read me stories," he grins and then leans in to whisper. "He did the Green Goblin voice so much better than you."
It seems to be a night for crying because with Eli's little admission, the tears spill over onto Kate's cheeks fast and thick. This whole time she was worried Eli might not understand what was happening, and her son not only got it but was waiting for it to happen.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Eli says when she wipes at her tears. "I didn't mean to make you cry."
With a watery laugh, Kate slips her arms around her son and draws him to her for a tight hug. "I'm not sad, baby. I'm happy, and I love you to the moon and back."
"I love you to Mars and back," he replies easily, all traces of sadness wiped from his face, but she still uses her fingers to wipe away the tear tracks when the doorbell rings. Hearing it, Eli practically jumps out of her arms, proclaiming he's going to answer the door.
Knowing it's about time for Castle to arrive, Kate lets him go and hurries back into her bathroom to touch up her eye makeup. The damage isn't as bad as she expected, and with a swipe of concealer, some face powder, and another layer of mascara she looks good as new. Taking the extra minute to make sure her small bag has all of her essentials, she can hear the murmurs as Eli and Rick talk by the stairs and it's followed shortly by the rumble of Castle's laugh. Smiling at the sound, she drapes her coat over one arm and hitches her bag to her shoulder to go downstairs.
Involved in learning some elaborate handshake from Eli, Rick's not looking for Kate to appear at the top of the stairs. It's the slight shimmer in the corner of his vision that pulls him away from their antics, and he instinctively turns toward it in time to see her take the first step down to the first floor.
Rick swears he stops breathing for a moment, his brain wholly unable to take in the vision Kate makes in a body-skimming dress that puts her unbelievable figure on display but manages to leave your imagination to fill in the finer details. She's left her hair down, the ends tousled in curls that remind him of a femme fatale in a Raymond Chandler novel that's only accentuated by the deep red lip and the smoky eye.
"Kate….." he manages, though his voice promptly dries up once he utters her name. He can't think, he can't speak, and he's pretty sure his heart has stopped beating because she's the most stunning woman he's ever laid eyes on.
Once she reaches the bottom of the stairs, her cheeks stained with a pink blush, Rick reaches for her without giving it an active thought. All he knows is that he needs to touch her, and when his hand palms her waist he realizes that there's more to the dress than the jaw-dropping view at the front. The back scoops low enough that two of his fingers graze her bare skin if he opens his hand, and Rick watches how her eyes darken when he traces the dip of her spine just above where the fabric ends. "God, you look…." he mutters, turning to kiss the palm of her hand when Kate brushes his cheek.
"You're not so bad yourself, Castle," she grins, humming softly when he leans in to fit his mouth over hers in a kiss that's filled with a promise of more when her kid isn't watching.
When they break apart, Eli has his hands covering his eyes, which soon has all three of them laughing.
"Hey bud, where's your coat? You're gonna need it and your hat."
With her son off down the hallway to find those two items, Kate's shrugging on her own jacket when Rick produces the box. She recognizes the shape as belonging to either a necklace or a bracelet and raises an eyebrow in his direction when she takes it into her hands.
"Don't feel special or anything," Rick teases. "I bought mother and Alexis something, too."
Wrinkling her nose at him, Kate shakes her head while she removes the wrapping paper. For once she doesn't care if it's left on the floor when she cracks open the lid to reveal the simple, yet breathtaking, tennis bracelet. "Castle, this is…."
"Exactly what I wanted to get you, so don't tell me it's too much," he warns, though there's no heat to his voice. When she nods, he carefully lifts the bracelet from the box, securing it tightly around her wrist and dusting his lips against the thin skin with such purpose that Kate shivers.
Holding her hand up so the diamonds catch the light, she sighs. "I love it. Thank you," Kate tells him, but her intention to kiss him thoroughly is derailed by Eli stomping back up the hall with his coat and hat already in place.
"Looks like we're ready to go," Rick says a moment later, leaving the jewelry box on her entry table before he offers one arm to Kate and a hand to Eli so they can leave together for the gala.
That feeling of being in a fishbowl pursues Kate throughout the night. Every time she looks around the room, at least one person is staring at her. She knows that at least some of that is because she's walking around with the most famous guy to show up in Evergreen in at least the time she's lived here, and given their hand-holding and a few demure pecks on the cheek, it's not exactly a secret the rumors of their kiss at the Old Haunt are true.
But as Rick keeps one hand on her lower back and holds the other while they dance, she lets it all go. Not a soul among her friends and family are upset they're together, in fact, Lanie, Maddie, and Jenny have practically become their personal cheering section. The number of times she's ended up holding his hand or tucked against Rick's side while they make the rounds of the room only to see her three friends practically vibrate with glee nearby (or, in some cases, right in front of her) has yet to fail to make her smile.
Kate doesn't recognize the song they're dancing to now, but the beat of it is a little sexy and far more contemporary than most of the standard Christmas hits the band has played till now. There are some lyrics about Christmas trees and wine, something about how nothing has changed, and she makes a note to ask someone in the band for the name and title of the original so she can listen to it when she's not being distracted by Rick Castle's brilliant smile or the way his fingers are gently tracing patterns along her lower back.
She's sure he can feel, if not see, the goosebumps he's creating in his wake, and Kate has wished more than once she hadn't procrastinated putting together Eli's bike from Santa so she'd have some free time to…..
"You should be careful, Kate," he says softly, giving her an all too knowing grin as the song crescendos into its final chorus.
"And why's that?" It's a dumb question because she can already tell from the way his jaw is flexing that Rick knows where her mind went, but it also doesn't mean she's going to give it up so easily.
"Because with that dress and that look on your face, I might just find a way to slip upstairs with you and…."
"Okay, okay," she laughs, lifting a hand to gently cover his mouth. "Your daughter is literally two feet away, so I'm begging you not to finish that sentence." She feels rather than sees Rick's smile against her palm, though by the time she's removed her hand he's scowling at Alexis and the boy Kate presumes is her date.
"She looks beautiful," she says in an effort to distract him. "And I know Ashley. He's a good kid from a good family."
"Still," he sighs when the song ends. "Teenage boy. Hormones. They're all dangerous. I know because I used to be one."
With a fond eye roll, Kate grasps his hand as they walk off the dance floor. "You're one to talk about hormones, Castle. You just propositioned me on a crowded dance floor."
To her amusement, Rick gives an unapologetic shrug, lightly palming her hip. Even through the fabric of her dress, she can feel the heat of his hand and combined with his devilish grin, Kate goes a little weak in the knees. "Well," he begins, voice pitched low to be for her ears only. "If you didn't want that to happen, you really shouldn't have worn this dress. Maybe a nun's habit."
Tucking her tongue against her cheek, Kate shakes her head at him. "Sure. Let me just go find a bedsheet to wrap myself in so you can resist temptation."
"I think that'd have the opposite effect, but we can go upstairs and let you test your theory."
Placing a hand against his chest, Kate lightly pushes Rick away. "I'm going to get a drink. You go dunk your head in cold water or something."
She hears his low chuckle as she walks away, but she makes it three steps before Eli slams into her legs and tips his head up with a big grin. "Mom, can we dance?" While she starts to say no and insist he go back to the room with the other kids, Kate stops herself and considers what he's asking. He's six and far too soon he won't want to do things like dance with his mom, so she smiles instead and holds out her hand.
"I'd love to dance with you."
With Kate twirling a laughing Eli on the dance floor, Rick gets a chance to do one of his favorite things - people watch. He can't remember a time where the actions of others weren't fascinating; even before he was putting words to a page, he would sit on the fire escape of whatever apartment he and his mother were living in and think up stories for the various people who passed by on the street below.
Sipping at the Scotch he left on the table before their dance, Rick's eyes linger on an older couple standing together. They're close, but both are careful not to touch the other, and there's a little bit of longing painted on the man's face. He can't tell if either of them has rings on, but his mind spins a story of decades of unrequited love, of how the man has watched on the sidelines while this woman built a life and had a loving family.
The flash of red hair whirling past them is a momentary distraction, as is the loud laugh his mother releases. She's dancing with Chet, the two of them putting some of the younger dancers in the room to shame with their antics. As he watches them, Martha holds out a hand and beckons a blonde twenty-something and her date to come closer and then promptly turns their section of the floor into a dance class. Not that the girl seems to mind given the frequency her date stepped on her feet.
Despite himself, he's drawn back to Kate and Eli. The kid is doing some kind of wild flailing thing with his arms that'd be awkward on an adult but manage to be adorable on a six-year-old, and Kate's doing her best to keep up with him or, rather, to keep him from bumping into anyone else. Rick doesn't realize he's grinning until he brings the glass back to his lips for another sip, but he does log that Jim Beckett has taken the seat beside him and his gaze is also focused on the same two people.
"I had my doubts about this," Jim says without any prompting, pulling his eyes from his daughter and grandson to stare at him. "When Johanna came home and told me you somehow ended up in town, I prayed you'd stay away from Kate because the last thing she needed was to have her heart broken again."
Rick had always known Jim was the one he had to work to win over in the Beckett family and given the man's polite indifference each time they crossed paths in Evergreen, he isn't surprised he would wish he left Kate alone. "I understand," he admits, returning his drink to the table. "But I have no intention of hurting her again."
Leaning forward so his elbows rest on his knees, Jim turns his blue eyes onto Rick's. "Are you sure about that?" he asks quietly. "Because my wife told me about your book. A book she said Kate still knows nothing about, and you and I both know that my daughter values her privacy and hates when her life is the subject of gossip."
Castle winces at the words because he knows what Jim is saying is true. And it's worse somehow to hear it delivered in that soft matter-of-fact tone that surely helped convince many a jury during his law career. He'd prefer to be yelled at.
"You're right. So is Johanna, and my mother. And I promise you, I'm going to tell her tonight. She'll know everything."
Jim nods, but he makes no effort to move away from Rick. He just frowns, glancing back at the dance floor as Kate sways along to the beat with Eli. "She hasn't been this happy since Tom died. She's put on a good show for everyone, and there are moments where I look at her and know she's content. But you showing up…..it brought her back to life. Katie's better for it, Rick. I just hope this book isn't the reason she decides to run. And if you're a smart man, you won't let her."
With a long sigh, the Beckett patriarch gets to his feet and leaves as quickly as he came, joining Johanna and some people Rick doesn't know at a different table.
Eli's request for one dance quickly became two and when Kate walks off the floor, she ushers her son back into the room with the other kids to find a drink.
She's on her first swallow of champagne when Martha comes to a stop beside her, her own flute dangling from one hand. "Kate, I just have to tell you how stunning you look tonight," she says, leaning in to give her a one-armed hug. "Truly, you walked in and my jaw just dropped. And the picture you and Richard make together." The actress presses one hand over her chest and sighs with all the theatrical flare she has.
Though she's used to Martha's pizzaz, Kate still blushes at the compliment. "That's very kind of you to say. Thank you," she murmurs, not that it appears Castle's mom hears her.
"It's like I told you when we first arrived. Fate has a way of making things happen and bringing people together, and that's simply the only thing that makes sense for you and Richard. After all this time apart, you've been drawn back together and I think you'll be very, very happy."
From anyone else, Kate would think they've had too much to drink, but as Martha's pronouncements go, that one was rather tame. But she smiles anyway, too happy to let herself think about all the ways things could go wrong. For tonight, she's determined to ignore all those demons that whisper in her ear and stir doubt.
With a soft chuckle, Martha taps her glass to Kate's in a toast, and they both sip, but none of that stops Victoria Gates from walking over. Her deep purple dress pops against her dark skin, and her hair is tied back in a long ponytail, but she's grinning when she approaches Kate. "I'm so sorry to interrupt your conversation, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm so excited."
While she wouldn't consider herself okay with people coming up to her to talk about her relationship with Castle, after her experience at the bookstore, Kate at least has a reason to expect it. She generally likes Victoria, but she merely offers a strained smile and polishes off her champagne. With that glass empty, she has to wait mere seconds before a waiter comes by with more on a tray and Kate deftly trades her empty one for a fresh glass. "Thanks, seems a lot of people are really happy for us."
There's a flash of confusion in Victoria's eyes, but it disappears as quickly as it came. "Oh, you mean you and Mr. Castle?" she asks with a smile, picking her own flute off the tray before the waiter walks away. "That's also wonderful. You seem like you're very happy together. But I was talking about the book. It's really going to give the town a boost."
She's lucky she doesn't drop her glass, but Kate does visibly jerk at the mention of a book. Beside her, Martha releases a low groan and that sets off whatever senses which didn't go on alert at Victoria's words. "I…..yes," Kate mutters, forcing herself to relax for long enough to send Victoria on her way. "The book will be…something. Thanks for telling me. I'll pass it on to Rick."
Victoria seems to realize she's made some faux pas, but with a nod and a tight smile, she also doesn't linger beside Kate and Martha. With the woman safely out of the line of fire, Kate turns to Castle's mother and has to actively swallow down the ball of emotion that's trapped in her throat. "What book, Martha?"
"Oh, Kate, darling, I really should go check on Chet…."
"Martha," she hisses, using her sternest cop glare without any regard to how it might look to a room full of people. She'll apologize later. Once she has answers.
"Richard is writing a book about a small town that's like Evergreen," the older woman sighs, true worry weighing her voice down. "And there's a character in it that's based on you."
She can't decide how to feel. The words sink in, and her brain acknowledges what they mean, but that emotional rollercoaster Kate's become so adept at riding is careening along a new course. She doesn't know the curves and valleys of this one, but she's already bracing for impact - whenever or however it comes.
"How….." she begins, realizing with horror that her mouth is moving but the words aren't coming. Again, she swallows it all down and blurts out her question. "How does everyone in town know?"
"Katie, honey…."
Kate doesn't know when her mother appeared, but she's just grateful to see her. At least until she takes a long look at Johanna's face. Her mom is smiling at her, but it's one meant to soothe and it doesn't reach her eyes. "You knew," Kate whispers. "He told you but not me." And God, that somehow hurts worst of all. She feels like she's being attacked on all fronts.
"He wanted some advice on the book, and when we were talking…." Johanna sighs, a deep frown forming on her lips. "Natalie overheard us. And you know what an awful gossip she is. She told Serena, who I think maybe started telling people because she knew from Natalie that you weren't aware of the book, and she hoped it'd embarrass you after that whole thing at the Old Haunt."
Logically, she knows her mom is probably right. Serena Kaye never appreciated when another woman got in the way once she set her sights on a man. But she's wrong on one count; she's not so much embarrassed as hurt.
"I have to…." Kate never finishes her sentence to her mother and Martha, she just starts moving. Rick is easy enough to spot where he stands laughing with Esposito and Kevin, and it's only when she's feet away that she realizes she's still holding a mostly full glass of champagne. The smarter choice is to put it down and walk away, but Kate brings it to her mouth and drains the flute in three gulps.
The one thing she'll give Rick is that he can always read her. It takes just one fleeting look for him to realize something is wrong, and he's already moving toward her before she's managed to hand off the empty glass to a confused Espo.
"Come with me," she croaks, ignoring the brush of Castle's hand against hers in favor of opening one of the french doors and slipping onto the patio.
"Kate, what's wrong? What's happened?" Rick asks before he's even closed the door behind him, stumbling slightly in an effort to reach her. There are a few people clustered in one of the seating areas, warming themselves by an outdoor heater and that's enough incentive for her to keep walking. It doesn't matter that it's freezing, or that there are at least eight inches of snow on the ground, she just keeps walking until she's sure they're far enough away from the building that most of the prying eyes and ears can't hear.
"Kate, you're scaring me. What's wrong? Did something happen to Eli? I just saw Alexis, but I haven't seen your mom or…."
He keeps talking and though she knows it's a nervous habit of his, she's so sure there's a knowing note to everything he's saying. Maybe it's her mind playing tricks, or maybe it's just a way to cope, but it simultaneously leaves Kate wanting to scream and crumple onto the snow in tears.
Instead, she whirls around, eyes boring into his. "Eli and I went to my mom's store today," Kate begins, already building a wall to hide behind as she talks. "He woke up this morning and told me that we had to find a present for you, and for Alexis, and for your mom. It didn't matter to him that I bought things already, he wanted presents that he specifically picked out.."
"Okay? I don't understand why…"
"We went to four stores, and he walked all of them at least twice. But he picked out this beautiful scarf for Martha, and then we ended up at my mom's store and he found a Scarlet Witch action figure for Alexis. But for you…..nothing was good enough. He picked things up, he put them down and the whole time this is happening, I'm noticing people are looking at me. Whispering behind my back. Pointing at me. And at him." Kate can't help but laugh, the realization of how foolish she must have seemed to all those people punching her in the stomach. "I thought they were just gossiping because of the Old Haunt, and even when Alfred Candela told me how good it'd be for the town - I didn't get it. I thought he was implying you were going to move here."
She sees the moment the point of her story lands. Rick's entire body sags under the weight of it, and for just a second he bends over to rest his hands on his knees. "Kate, listen," he begins, standing at his full height and reaching for her.
With a shake of her head, Kate takes a step away. "They were talking about your book. A book you spoke to my mother about. A book I didn't know a God damn thing about when I'm apparently in it."
"I'm basing a character on you. It's not a memoir," Rick corrects softly, instantly regretting it when her eyes flash with fire.
"Don't," she warns, placing both hands on her hips. "Just tell me why everyone in this town knew before I did. Why I wasn't the first person you told."
Though he's several feet away, Rick can see she's shivering even in the short time they've been outside. Knowing this won't be the quickest conversation, he tugs off his suit jacket and holds it out. "You're freezing. Put it on," he says softly. There's a long stretch where he's sure Kate will ignore him, but she finally takes the jacket and slips it over her shoulders.
While she guides her hands through the arms and tugs the material tighter around her torso, he weighs how to explain and ultimately gives up on trying to defend himself. "I was scared," Rick sighs. "I came up with this idea that I'm so passionate about, but I was scared that if I told you I was writing a book where the main character's husband tragically dies and leaves her pregnant with a little boy….."
Kate reacts as if she's been slapped, her entire body jerking back as her eyes go wide and her lips press together so tightly that the skin around her lips briefly goes white. For an instant, Rick's so sure something else is going on, he absurdly thinks she might be having a seizure, but when her eyes fill with tears the truth hits home.
Kate knew he's writing a book with a character based on her. She didn't know the details.
"Let me make sure I understand this," she begins, her voice so soft and somehow so clearly broken down and hurt. "You decided to write a book that features the absolute worst thing that's ever happened to me, and your defense for not telling me, or even asking if I was okay with it, is that you were scared?"
"I know it sounds dumb, but this isn't the first time you've inspired a character in my books. And I thought if I got some of it on the page and then I showed you what I wrote then you'd understand…."
It breaks his heart to see that she's openly crying, but Rick knows better than to try and comfort her right now. She'll just shove him away, or punch him in the face. Maybe both judging by how her eyes are now burning with anger.
"No, Castle," she snaps, "Those characters had nothing of my actual life in them. You gave them my looks, or a personality trait. Not the murder of my husband and my son having to grow up without his dad! You took everything I told you as a friend, and you threw it into a book and you didn't tell me! But you didn't apparently fucking care if everyone else found out. And I can't…." Kate gives a shake of her head. "You keep telling me how much you regret leaving last time, how happy you are that we ran into one another again and yet you do this?"
"Listen, I know what it seems like," he begins, holding up a hand when Kate looks ready to cut him off. "But everything I said was true. If I hadn't come here, if you hadn't told me what happened since we last saw one another, or showed me the soldier's tree then there'd probably be no book. Or at least not this book. And I was going to tell you tonight after the gala. I just didn't want to ruin the night by bringing it up ahead of time."
"All the more reason to tell me!" Kate shouts, running two hands through her hair as the wind picks up and sends it flying around her face.
"Kate, I told you why..."
"No, you didn't tell me why," she spits, her eyes blazing green and gold. "You told me you were scared. What you didn't tell me is why you were so worried. So what's that about, Castle? Why did you decide to put my story in a book for millions of people to read and decide you shouldn't ask me first?"
Though he opens and closes his mouth several times to answer, Rick knows that the delay is merely because he's trying to think up a way to soften the truth. But there's no easy way to admit you withheld something because you were afraid it'd be taken away. "I was scared you'd say no," he admits, hating the way Kate absorbs the words like she's being hit with a ton of bricks. Her head dips and her shoulders slump with the admission, and when she opens her eyes again to look at him, there's nothing but heartbreak and that bright, blazing ball of fury.
A second later, she's jerking his tux jacket from her shoulders and hurling it across the snow at his face. "You and me? We're done."
He manages to catch the ball of fabric before it can hit him, but a second later he realizes Kate's turned to walk back to the inn and he scurries after her. "Kate, listen to me, I know I messed up. I've been trying to figure out how to fix it for days…." he blurts out, snagging her wrist so she's forced to stop moving.
As soon as it's out of his mouth, he regrets the words. She's a cop and highly trained in catching information hidden in sentences and there's no doubt her sharp mind has already put it together.
"How many days, Castle?" she asks, her voice unbearably sad. Her anger has burned out and now all that's left are the ashes and an overwhelming sadness. "How many times did you think you should tell me and then decided not to so you could keep your precious book."
Out of everything that's happened since they came outside, Rick knows this will hurt the worst. But he won't lie to her, not anymore.
"Since the morning after I wrote the first chapter. The day after the Christmas maze, when you told me about the soldier's tree….and Tom dying. I wanted some research from the town archives on the Marshall family, and I decided not to ask you to help because I knew you'd ask why. "
Despite her best effort, Kate can't stop how her face crumples. Some part of her was holding on to hope that it all happened so fast, that maybe somehow, someway, not telling her was just a stupid oversight. Normally, she'd be embarrassed at the little sob which slips out of her mouth, but she's too heartbroken to care about something like that. At this point, the whole town has probably realized they're outside fighting and anyone close to the wall of french doors leading onto the patio can certainly look out and see she's crying.
Plus, now she has to go inside to find her son so they can leave.
But first, she pulls her hand from Rick's grasp, using fingers shaking with cold and a gauntlet of emotion to unclasp the tennis bracelet he put on her hours before. "You know what the worst part of this is?" she asks, hating the way her voice is trembling. "You still haven't said you're sorry."
Dropping the bracelet into the snow at his feet, Kate doesn't look back when she walks away.
A/N: Hi guys, we've got one more chapter to go! The song described that they're dancing to is Glow by Kelly Clarkson and Chris Stapleton. The idea for the kid's pajama ball is taken from the Hallmark Movie 'One Royal Holiday.'