No matter which one wins or loses you'll want to run the maple away from those two and the establishment. Dark matter is canon, I got the name petrified couch stuffing from 'The Parent Trap' by libertea (seeyousoo), over on AO3. I'm splitting their POVs into two parts, one in the beginning, and one in the kitch-hazardous and radioactive zone.

England wakes up in a time far from his own. With no clue of how he got there or any thought of ever going back home, he meets Gintoki Sakata, in charge of an odd-jobs business decides to help him out. However, they're not really what they seem.

An unfortunate mishap with a cybernetic, ill-tempered dinner plate lands the Hetalia crew in a strange town known as Kabuki-cho. Some fourth wall-breaking, housebreaking (plus some home-breaking), and finger-breaking ensues. Germany misplaces his undergarments, England and Otae host a cooking show, and Shinpachi has to break the bad news to an otherwise-delighted Canada. ON HIATUS