"Waah!"
"There, there. Shush dear. Everything is alright." Said the midwife, as she clutched the newborn to her bosom, attempting to soothe its crying through gentle swaying motions. "You are lucky indeed, it's a boy just like you hoped." Proclaimed the woman, turning her head in the direction of the room's sole bed and the sweating occupant laying on it.
Shmi Skywalker closed her eyes in relief, "I had hoped but.." she tiredly shook her head, before opening them again and looking at her friend holding her hope. Her seemingly distraught friend. The newly made mother's heart was seized with fear.
"Ness..what's wrong."
Startled, her friend looked up and away from the uncharacteristically quiet newborn.
"N-nothing, its just.."
"Just what." questioned the tired woman, exhausted and in no mood for games.
Absentmindedly and while still swaying to her imaginary tune, the graying brunet's brow furrowed. "His eyes are yellow, almost golden."
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All those things you've heard about sand? Completely true, og Anakin boy might have been a grade 'A+' whiner, amongst other things, but he wasn't wrong about sand. It's the stuff of nightmares. Its coarse, rough and..oh you know the spiel.
As if living and growing up for a second time, on Tatooine of all places, wasn't bad enough I had to deal with frickin sand! Ask any engineer worth their salt about what they think of silica in its unrefined form, and more specifically having it in their workshop/factory what have you. Then watch them run for the hills, screaming.
And wasn't that one hell of a one-two wombo combo, being isekaid, having to deal with potty train..—we don't talk about that!— and finding out that og boy's engineering talents were for real. And that I inherited them, in an additive fashion to my own. Along with his force potential. Mine didn't amount for much apparently, but "I can appreciate that go-get em' attitude of yours" Rob's words.
In fact, aside from that I was only told 3 things, more like had them planted in my noggin by the dude/duddete who planted me here. (We don't discriminate on their tentacliness' gender)
"I meshed your force potential, and other skills, with that of Anakin's, your natural force potential is now 20 to 30% higher than his."
Something I was very kosher with.
"-You know and I know what alterations to the timeline does, you and yours are now invisible to her noodliness' ethereal gaze, until you can avoid the bad ara~ara ending. You are welcome."
Brr..you are alright in my book homie.
"-Oh! And I've placed some surprises that a fellow degenerate connoisseur of culture like yourself would appreciate. Wink.
Enjoy~!"
And that's all she wrote folks. While the last message did leave me scratching my head for a couple of years, I've put it aside for now.
But what about that inevitable existential angst which every S.i. suffers from, you might ask? Bitch I've had years to come to terms with my situation. And aside from my parents, and a select few other people I cared about, I couldn't give a rat's ass about this.
Phenomenal cosmic power at my fingertips, a galaxy to roam, with the potential for more if I play my cards right. Plus, Immortality and hot babes to bang! What's there not to like?!
If you thought this was a tale where I would angst, cry and despair over my fate. All the while sacrificing for the greater good like one of 'em ninnies over at Coruscant..
Well, aside from the massive, if brief headache, courtesy of my patron and the vertigo caused by my rebirth. I've been rocking 'em golden globes for close to a decade now. The only exception being when I entered too deep of a meditation trance, and thus for some time afterwards my eyes would turn to a fine shade of Gilgamesh red.
Quite fetching if I say so myself. And if the bashful looks and occasional giggling directed this shota's way, courtesy of some older ladies, was any indication.. I was right.
And..
"Ani! Stop playing with your gadgets. Mr Watto needs your help at the front!"
Rolling my eyes at my new mother's shout, I set down my wrench and stood up from my chair with a sigh. Dusting my pants off as I did, in a vain attempt to remove some oil smudges and that accursed sand.
"Daydreaming again Master?"
Looking at the sturdy table and the rusty looking robot laying on top of it, I closed my eyes and let out a sigh, before opening them and meeting my droid's own hellish reds.
"Yes, I suppose I was. You know how I 'am when I get into one of my moods."
An unlady like snort came from the android's vocal processors, making her look even more queer, what with her Necron like metallic body.
"Mmh, yes, my beloved Master is never a dunderhead, no sir. He is an absolute genius.. except for when he is thinking with his dick, or building stuff, or when he is training and dreaming of buttfucking the galaxy and me. But really, how often is that?"
She asked with an innocent tone and then pushed herself upwards, jumping off the table a moment later and then performing a series of fluid and agile motions, contrary to what her frail looking frame would suggest she was capable off. Before finally coming to a stop by my side, performing a maid's curtsy as she did.
The lack of skirt, pantsu and skin somewhat ruined it though.
"Show off.." I muttered, while my maid did her best to look innocent. I crossed my arms, pouting manly scowling upwards at her. "And, har har! That's a lot of sass aimed at poor old me don't you think?"
In response she knelt slightly and delicately patted my head. Damn it, her face might lack the necessary components right now but she is smiling somehow, I know it!
"Apologies, my Lord~, shall I draw you some more porn of me for your collection as recompense?"
"Yes, that will- Wait, no! Bad maid, you are trying to distract me. Remind me to punish you later."
"But of course, my master your wish is my command," said the insincere traitor. "for this humble maid lives but to serv-"
"Anakin!"
Before pausing, at the harpy's newest interruption and her, somehow, even more shrill voice.
"I believe it would be best if we rendezvoused with your mother my Lord."
Scowling I nodded, "Yes, 2B. Lets" and turned towards the door.
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"There you are, do you know in how much trouble you are mister?" said Shmi Skywalker, her hands on her hips as she glared at me, Tatooine the fuckin pain in my ass that it was, choose that exact moment to blow a dramatic gust of wind mixed with sand in the packed street behind her. Causing fellow weary sufferers of Tattoine travelers to curse and tighten their hoods, and me to commiserate with them.
"Are you ignoring me mister-" she said and reached with a hand for one of my poor abused ears.
Luckily the wind carried my salvation, literally in this instance. "Hahaha, its ok Shmi, you know how young boys are." Said the shop's proprietor with a loud laugh, coming into view with a smile and his wings buzzing. The poor appendages all but crying in their desperate attempts of lifting, and more importantly keeping his bloated carcass into the air.
What's that, a smiling Watto? Shmi with way too much attitude? I hear you ask.
Well, while I am sure everyone and their mother has heard that certain species are "immune" to the force's touch.. Personally, I happened to disagree.
And so, with the purest of intentions in my heart. That of furthering scientific knowledge alone I assure you, I set about proving that particular tidbit wrong, with gusto.
After all, are you telling me that the being who (in time) could bitchslap the twin embodiments of the Force and be a peer to the Father, would be unable to charm a flying slug, or the larger earthbound variant infesting this accursed pit and Nar shaddaa?
Admittedly, as I was, and remain self-taught certain..errors may have been made. But if anybody noticed that Watto was a bit kinder a bit simpler and a tad more indulging to his acquaintances and friends. Nobody made a fuss, or at least.. not anymore.
Not after the first few who tried to take advantage of this new Toydarian ended up mysteriously vanishing, with their corpses reappearing a couple days later, affixed to a few key, and very prominent, locations across the city. Their pupils dilated from pain and terror and with their mouths hanging agape in a final silent scream of agony.
Leaving my mind-broken, yet useful, tool as oblivious as ever but more importantly alive. A complete mystery I assure you.
In entirely unrelated matters, Best Maid ever! And for the few tougher jobs, where it would have placed her in unacceptable risk if she dealt with it alone, I added what help I could with my growing repertoire of powers, you could say that it was almost a date no?
What? I told you, I ain't no Jedi, or fume snorting idiot of a Sith.
Turning towards me, the bug's mouth creaked into a parody of a warm smile alongside his eyes. "Well, my boy, we just had a pair of rich looking fools visit our humble shop." He said and his smile turned predatory.
As did mine upon hearing him, causing my mother to sigh and mutter. "Where did I go wrong.." With 2B gently patting her on the back in a commiserating manner. Shmi, well used to the android's presence by now just sighed further.
"Nowhere mother!" I cried out. "Fleecing your customer for all you can is just good business!" I said, with Watto nodding proudly in response to my words, and giving me a discreet thumps up.
"Ata boy," he said in a proud manner, "now they were interested in starship engines and components." He said and beckoned me closer, pointing at some data pads behind the counter. Displaying the idiots request, what we had in stock and other useful trivia. "You are a deft hand at this Annie, so I need your input on how to play this, they said that they would look around and that they might return later, bah! As if any of the other idiots has such merch.."
Listening with half an ear and feeling the Force's gentle caress upon my psyche, I frowned slightly. Could it be?
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Something like an hour or two later I had my answer. Positioned behind the counter with only the bug for company, but sitting on the accursed sand and thus out of view, the voices of a pair of newcomers reached my ears and interrupted my tinkering.
"Hello once again my merchant friend," said a deep masculine voice, before continuing in the same calm manner. "I am afraid that it was as you said. None of the other merchants carry the necessary parts."
Buzzing in an annoyed manner, Watto let out a loud 'hah' before spitting on the ground. I was certain that the still unseen Jedi was mildly perturbed at the unsanitary display.
"But of course, they don't, this here is the best shop in this blasted town!" spat the Toydarian in a proud manner, spreading his arms as he did. "If you can't find it here, you won't find it anywhere else on this planet." Laying it a bit thick there aren't we old chum. "Well..unless you want to deal with the huts".
Judging by the ensuing silence, that was not an enticing prospect, wonder why.
"But if you'd prefer not too.." Watto's smile transformed into a parody of an angelic one, as if he wouldn't hurt a fly, or eat a baby. Which was false of course, after I mindwhamied him right and proper you could say that he saw the light. One night while we were sitting by a campfire out there in the desert, he confided this to me.
"Contrary to what you've heard, I don't eat babies." He said and looked me in the eye, trying his darndest to convey his sincerity and how hurt he was by the horrible rumors besmirching his good name. "Well..not raw at any rate," he said and picked at a bit of stray bone which had gotten lodged in between his teeth, using one of his claws as a toothpick.
I nodded as if what he was saying was completely natural.
"Too much fat, not enough muscle in them you see." he muttered."But not all hope is lost." He gave a conspiratorial wink before leaning in close towards me, as if he was about to share the secrets of the universe. "Let Uncle Watto tell you a secret. All you have to do is make a stew out of them. Humans are the blandest, Bothans on the other hand..mhh!"
I won't bore you with more details over Watto's habits, 'wisdom' and cuisine, or what a Toydarian having an apparent foodgasm looks like.
"-Then Uncle Watto has got you covered stranger!" he said patting his distended belly like a drum, the disturbing sound bringing me back to the present. "My shop has the part, if of course, you can solve the monetary issue."
The still unseen Qui-qon let out a tired exhale, "And as I've told you before, we currently lack the funds and since you won't accept a promissory note.."
With the two starting to haggle in truth at last, I tuned them out entirely, now that I was no longer potentially needed to aid the bug. Well, I say I, but it's more like the yandere super Ai masquerading as my Maido, telling me exactly what to say through the transceiver we had implanted in my ear.
Hey, in a similar vein to my predecessor I was pants at the subtle stuff. So why not use every advantage I've got?
Getting back into that ever-elusive flow state brought a smile to my lips. Tinkering as I was with this poor droid's head that I'd fished out of a nearby bin. Yet in truth, my focus lay elsewhere, more specifically to the Jedi duo just a few short meters away.
I hadn't been certain, what with never having encountered one so far. But it would seem that my hodgepodged training had worked after all. They gave no indication of having noticed me and I could freely sense the emotions rolling off of the duo. Or well at least one of them.
Qui-gon was a ginormous tranquil lake, with Watto's words and insinuations barely managing to cause the faintest of ripples upon it and that only for an instant. The lake's waters remained clear and calm.
By contrast, Obi-wan was anything but calm. I knew that in his youth, the lad was quite different compared to the almost saintly figure he eventually turned into. And this all but confirmed it.
To extend the previous analogy, the defense boy's lake was anything but calm. Oh, it was at the surface level no doubt. But underneath, roiling currents raged in one instant before being smothered in the next.
Clearly, the youth was still struggling with his own inadequacy issues and the lofty expectations placed upon him by the Jedi and Qui-gon alike, add to that his own teenage hormones..
"Well, I guess we've reached an accord." Came the calm voice from over the counter, accompanied by the sound of clasped hands.
"I guess so." Said Watto with a nod and started to fly backwards, half turning and waving the pair over as he did. "Come inside then, we can finalize the agreement there." Before pausing midflight and swiveling his head in the master Jedi's direction, "Well, you come at least. Your friend here can keep my nephew company for a few minutes." He said and pointed towards me.
"Your..nephew?" queried Qui-gon, his face coming into view at last, along with his body as he crossed into the shop and looked quizzically in my direction.
Annoyingly his face remained as placid as ever. So, I couldn't even tell whether my half assed hiding attempts had worked on him or not. On Obi-wan most certainly. —And shut up, this isn't Anakin's misplaced ego talking. I could most certainly take hi..On second thought..
So, as the large man kneeled right in front of me, I could do nothing but smile, while being maddeningly curious on the inside as to whether my attempts had worked or not.
"Hello young man. I am Qui-gon-"
"A Jedi!" I all but shouted and pointed at him, with my excitement being only half faked. Hey, most of them might be idiots but still. A real life Jedi! Besides, some of them have their heart in the right place.
The bastard just placidly blinked in response, "Hmm, what gave you that idea young one?"
Rolling my eyes, I pointed at the silver cylinder hanging by his waist for all to see, "Duh! Also, I am Anakin. But my friends call my Ani!"
Chuckling the man stood up, ruffling my hair as he did. Fucker!
"Well I am very pleased to meet you Anaki-"
"Ani!"
He nodded, "Annie then. But I am afraid I have to discuss some adult matters with your 'Uncle' here. We can talk some more later if you'd like?" He asked, his eyes gleaming, and I nodded. Fool, your incoming fleecing was a team project. Give me us that sweet Naboo moolah!
Giving me one last smile, he turned and followed the Toydarian within the shop's bowels before I-
"Hello there!"
"General Kenobi!" I replied automatically, while turning my head back towards the shop's entrance. Causing 2B to transmit the sound of her digitally facepalming, while I noticed something important.
"Oh, I don't know about that." Said the Jedi, stepping fully into the room as they did. "I am no general I am afraid, just a humble traveler." Ignoring for a moment the attempt to continue the ruse despite both of us knowing the gig was up, I focused on another matter entirely.
Namely that the Jedi now leaning over me with a kind smile was a young, shapely and more importantly female Obi-wan, and that the moment she came into view I had a waking dream, courtesy of the Force.
For but an instant I saw not the duckling smiling at me from her kneeling position in front of me, but the beautiful swan she would grow into. So, this was my patron's gift..
"And Ani.." she started, her cute brows furrowing with confusion ."How did you know my name?"
"Ahh..i just..knew?"
In my ear my Maido let out another tired sigh, before facepalming again, knowing without a doubt that a thousand of her carefully crafted plans just went the way of the dodo. Cause I was a horny bastard and I just had to tap dat ass.
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Hello there!
Yes, yes i know i still have my other story left unfinished, but irl got in the way, i do intend to finish the little fucker but that one is more of "plotter" type story whereas this..this is more of a by the seat of my pants.
A.k.a i can simply shit down and write whereas the other one requires time which i don't really have at the moment irl. But it'll be finished this year..(i think)
Also, be forewarned, Booty updates go up first over at Questionable Questing, so if you don't want to miss a thing. Winks.
P.s. ffn's formatting continues to be ass. Where the hell is my strike-through reee!