So I Stayed In The Darkness With You

Armin POV

Armin hated lying to his friends. Absolutely abhorred it. But he didn't see any way around it. He was enough of a burden to them, and if they knew the truth, they'd treat him like a fragile doll instead of a person. So, he lied. An the lies just kept piling up.

He sat in the doctor's office with his mom, dreading what the doctor would say. He was getting worse, he could feel it. His symptoms were getting worse. He had no energy. No appetite. He couldn't sleep.

The doctor knocked and came in. She let out a sigh as she sat down, and looked between Armin and his mother. "Well, the blood tests show your anemic again, Armin. That might account for some of the lethargy."

"Do I have to go to the hospital again?" Armin asked.

The doctor let out another sigh. "Yes. You need another transfusion."

Armin hung his head and he felt Mom's hand on his leg. "Does he have to go today?"

"I think it can wait until tomorrow, as long as he promises not to play any contact sports like hockey."

Armin lifted his head and looked at her. "I haven't played a sport since I was 10. I don't even really do gym class." He felt a little bad as he saw the humor leave her eyes. She was a new doctor, at least to him. His eighth in five years. Mom kept finding reasons to find a new one. His last one had only lasted four months. Mom said she didn't like his attitude. Armin thought it was more likely that she didn't like the prospects he had given Armin. Armin pondered if this doctor would be around long enough to even warrant learning her name. He gave her a wicked smile. "Besides, I'd probably kill myself trying to get on the ice."

She smiled back at him then. "You and me both. So, I'll call over and let them know you'll be coming in tomorrow. Let you spend the night at home.

"How long will I have to stay this time?" he asked.

"That depends on how well you respond to the transfusion."

Armin liked this doctor. She didn't treat him like he was a little kid that didn't know what was happening to him. "So, we'll see you tomorrow."

"It's a date."

"First one I've been on in years." He grinned.

"Alright, smarty pants, let's go." Mom said, standing up and collecting her purse and coat. "Thank you, Doctor."

"Yeah, thanks Doc." Armin said, climbing off the exam table.

She just shook her head. "Goodbye, Armin. Klara."

Armin followed his mother out of the office and waited until they were in the elevator to broach his question. "Do you think I'll be able to go to school on Monday?"

He knew her answer before she even opened her mouth. Mom had a very expressive face, and she could never hide what she was feeling. "Probably not, honey. But maybe by Wednesday."

"You really think so?"

"We'll see after tomorrow." The elevator doors opened and they stepped out into the lobby. Armin could feel people were staring at him. Their looks ranged anywhere from pity to outright horror. He looked like a sick kid. He had incredibly pale skin, near translucent. You could see the bright blue of his veins. He had tired, sunken eyes, with dark bags under them. His body was small and frail. For a 16 year old boy, he was only 5'4". He always wondered if the illness had stunted his growth, or if he was genetically cursed to be short. He figured, since he was still a couple inches shorter than Mom, it was probably some combination of both. "Maybe we could get some ice cream tonight after dinner." She said, as they walked outside and unlocked the car. They qualified for a handicap placard so the car was in the front of the lot. He was glad because he was already tired. Maybe he should have used the chair. But he hated needing to use it. That really made him feel weak.

He crawled into the car and looked at Mom as she climbed into the driver's seat. "How are you going to afford another hospital visit? You just finished paying off the last one."

"That's for your father and I to worry about, not you."

"But I do worry. You guys have thrown away your whole lives because of me."

"We're your parents. That's part of the deal." She turned on the car and started driving.

"That's not what I meant. You guys could have been going on vacations, seeing the world. Instead, all you guys do is work and see doctors. You don't have lives and it's all my fault."

"Armin, you are treading into territory you know I don't like you going."

"Am I the reason you guys never had any more kids? Because I was always sick and you didn't have time for anyone else?"

"No. You are not the reason we never had more children. The reason for that had nothing to do with you."

"But-"

"Eren and Mikasa are both only children, aren't they? And they're not sick." She had him there and she knew it. "There are plenty of reasons why a couple only has one child, and your illness is not the reason for us, so don't upset yourself over things that aren't true."

He sat quietly the rest of the car ride home. He stared up at the house as they pulled in the driveway. They'd moved here three years ago from his childhood home because the stairs had become too much for him. This house was only one story (plus a basement that he wasn't allowed in). The garage had a door straight into the kitchen, so when Mom parked the car inside, he quickly made his escape. "I'm going to watch TV."

"Okay, honey."

He went inside and walked into the kitchen into the living room. Grandpa was sleeping in the recliner. He had moved in with them last year under the guise of being extra hands around the house. Armin suspected that he was sick and didn't want to financially burden them by going into a home. Something else Armin could blame himself for. He often wondered which one of them would waste away first. Who would Mom find dead one morning?

He plopped down on the couch and grabbed the remote off the coffee table. Grandpa had some old black and white show on. Armin flicked to the station with the soccer game on. Like he had some sort of 6th sense, Grandpa immediately woke up as soon as the station changed. "Who the hell- oh. Armin."

"Hi, Grandpa."

"How was the doctor's?"

"I have to go to the hospital again."

"Anemia again?"

"Yup." Armin loved to watch soccer. Mikasa played, and he loved going to her games. He was so sure in five years' time, she'd be on the national team. He wondered if he'd be alive to see it.

"I'm sorry."

"Me too. For Mom and Dad. No idea how they're going to keep paying for this stuff, especially since it's only going to keep getting more expensive."

"There's always your college fund."

"Ha! That got used up to buy this house." Armin remembered how Mom had cried over that decision. Just then, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it."

"What? Armin-"

Though weak and tired, Armin was still quicker than his arthritic grandfather. He took a moment to catch his breath, and then swung the front door open. There on his front porch, red hair shining in the sun, was Sasha Braus. "Hi." He said shortly.

"Hi, Armin! I brought your homework!" She held up a blue folder.

"Oh. What happened to Thomas?" Normally, Thomas Wagner delivered Armin's homework, and took the old stuff back to school.

"Well, my dad and I moved last week, so I'm on the next block, which is considerably closer than Thomas, so they asked me to do it. Which is okay because Thomas is on the swim team and I don't do anything with my life ever."

Armin raised his eyebrows slightly. Wow, she could talk a lot. He'd never really hung out with Sasha, but she seemed sweet enough. And after having been out of school for three weeks now, and his return nowhere in sight, he felt starved for a human interaction with someone besides his family and the doctors. So, he did something he never did. "Do you want to come in, Sasha?"

She smiled brightly. "Sure!" He stepped back and opened the door wider, letting her inside. "We all miss you at school."

"Yeah, I'm hoping to be able to go back this week." He could feel Grandpa staring at his back as he closed the door.

"That's wonderful!"

"Let's go to my room." He said, not feeling like hanging out in front of Grandpa.

"I feel like I should tell your mother that you have a girl in your room." Grandpa said.

"Knock yourself out." Armin replied. His bedroom was off of the living room. His one window overlooked the front lawn. He assumed his parents had put him here so that if they called the paramedics, they wouldn't have far to go. He led the way in and walked to his desk.

"You have a really nice room." Sasha said, looking around.

"Thank you." Armin picked up an identical blue folder to the one Sasha was holding, full of the school work he had done this week. "Here, you have to take this back."

"Right." Sasha traded folders with him, placing the one he'd handed her into her backpack. "But seriously, your room is so much nicer than mine. Though I guess once I have time to decorate it, it won't be so bad."

"Yeah, I've had three years and a hell of a lot of free time." He shrugged, dropping the folder she gave him on the desk. He sank onto his bed. "Do you want to sit?" he asked, patting the bed next to him.

"Oh, yeah." She sat down next to him, setting her backpack on the floor.

"So, I've been out of the loop. You'll have to give me all of the gossip happening at school."

"Jean Kirschstein is running for class president, but he's going to lose to Marco Bott."

"How come?"

"Because everyone I know is voting for Marco."

"Oh."

"Including me." She laughed. "Let's see, apparently Historia Reiss is a lesbian."

"Really?" Armin's jaw dropped a little. "No way."

"That's what I thought, but she got caught, making out with Ymir in the art closet."

"I thought Historia was dating Reiner Braun."

"Here's where it gets really crazy. Their whole relationship was just a cover for the fact that both of them are gay."

"WHAT?!" Armin's mind was being blown. Reiner and Historia had been your stereotypical, teen movie high school couple. He was on the football team, she a cheerleader. Both set to become captains of their respective squads during senior year next year. Both were blonde and beautiful.

"Reiner had apparently secretly seeing Bertolt Hoover. They were each other's beards! Can you believe that?"

"When did all this happen?"

"Last week. Did seriously no one tell you?"

"Well, I only have two friends and they've been…busy." To be honest, Armin wasn't entirely sure why he hadn't heard from either Mikasa or Eren. Usually, they at least texted him.

"I'd say they were busy. You're friends with Mikasa Ackerman and Eren Jaeger right?"

Armin had a bad feeling he was about to find out why he hadn't heard from his best friends. "Yeah…why?"

"THEY were caught kissing behind the bleachers."

Armin could feel the blood rushing by his ears. Was this why? They'd been blowing him off? "Each other?"

"Yeah. They didn't tell you?" Sasha's voice had gone soft.

"No. No they didn't tell me." Armin felt a surge of anger. Those bastards. He had been the one telling each of them for YEARS to act on their feelings for each other, and when they finally do, they don't even tell him? They completely blow him off for three weeks?

"Well, don't feel bad. I don't have any friends who tell me stuff, or hang out with me either."

"Really?" That surprised Armin a little.

"Yeah, they all think I'm weird."

"They think I'm weird too." Armin sighed. "Hey, my family's going to get ice cream tonight. Would you want to come along?"

Sasha's whole face brightened up. "Really?"

"Yeah, I'll ask my mom." He sucked in a deep breath. "MOM!" He yelled.

In a moment, she appeared in his doorway. "Oh my god, your grandfather wasn't lying. You actually have a girl in here."

"Mom, this is Sasha."

"Hello, Sasha."

"Hello ma'am." Sasha gave a small wave.

"I was wondering if Sasha could come along to get ice cream with us tonight?"

Mom looked taken aback. Armin had never actually said he'd wanted to go get ice cream. Recently, he'd been shooting down her efforts to cheer him up. And he never had friends over, let alone invite them out. She smiled brightly. Apparently this change in attitude pleased her. "Sure, honey! Does this mean that Sasha will be staying for dinner?"

Armin looked at Sasha. She smiled brightly. "I would love to! My dad's away this weekend, so this'll be much nicer than the microwave dinner I had planned." Armin noticed that Sasha had a tendency to overshare about her life, but rather than find it annoying like he did when most people did it, he found it endearing.

"So, it's settled then." Mom turned and left the room.

"Wait, so your dad moves you into a new house and then leaves for the weekend?"

Sasha shrugged. "He has to travel a lot for work."

"Must be lonely." She hadn't said so, but from the way she spoke, her mother didn't seem to be in the picture.

"It's better now that we're in this house. Our old house was out in the woods, with no one around and nothing to do. Plus, I have my cat."

"Oh, you have a cat? That's cool."

"Yeah, here." Sasha pulled out her phone and showed him her background, which was a little black cat. "Her name is Sable."

"Like the color?"

"Like the wrestler." Sasha said happily.

Armin stared at her. That was…adorable. He'd never met a person who named their pet after a 90s WWE wrestler and yet it worked for her. It just fit. "Sasha Braus, I think we're gonna be good friends." Armin grinned.