Night and Day: Mass Effect 1 – 'Edolus'
The Mako ground to a halt. From where Ashley Williams sat, she could see Shepard's gauntlet covered hands anxiously kneading the controls.
Silicate sand that had been churned up by the vehicle's huge tyres settled gently on the view finder. Ashley scanned the surrounding area but couldn't see anything that might have disturbed the commander. Nothing but a flat, open expanse surrounded by small outcroppings of the igneous rock that made up the highlands of this planet.
As the silence dragged on, even Garrus became unsettled. Through the corner of her eye, Ashley could see him remove his hands from the instrument panel and turn his head towards Shepard.
"Garrus, I want you to prepare to use those guns. Do not hesitate."
"Understood, Commander." His long talons returned to his console.
"Williams, I want seismic scans. Anything out of the ordinary." Shepard's voice was deep. It was her serious voice; the voice she used when concentrating. She looked towards Ashley to check the order was heard and understood. Her eyes were blank.
Ashley returned the look. "Aye, aye, Ma'am."
She pretended to absorb herself with the instruments in front of her, but instead watched Shepard's shoulder plates shift as she took a deep breath. Finally, the Mako began to rumble, but instead of going forward across the soft sands and flat ground that would have ensured a comfortable ride, Shepard turned towards the bumpy terrain of the rocky outcrop that encircled that flat expanse.
Garrus and Ashley exchanged looks as they bounced inside their seats, but they held their silence.
Finally, Shepard spoke. Her voice was stilted as if each word was a struggle. "It was a thresher maw nest. Typical habitat for them. You could see bits of churned up earth where they..." Her words stuttered to a halt, and she remained fixedly staring ahead. "I might know what happened to Kahoku's marines."
Ashley felt her pulse increase at the words. She took extra care to make note of the ground readings on her display. A throaty growl came from Garrus' side of the Mako.
Every member of the Normandy's crew was familiar with Commander Shepard's service history. They all knew that she was the only survivor after her platoon was torn apart by thresher maws on Akuze. Ashley could almost relate. It was what had helped her form a bond with Shepard after they met on Eden Prime. After watching all her squad mates die one after the other, Ash had known her own death wouldn't be long in coming. She just wanted to take down as many of those metal torch-headed fuckers as she could before it happened.
And then.
And then, dark armour reflecting the red light from the sky, Commander Shepard had stepped out on the path in front of her. In that moment, Ashley decided it might be worth living a little longer.
She had hoped Shepard would eventually talk to her about Akuze; share what happened the night her entire platoon was killed. Instead, whenever it or something like it came up, Shepard would deflect, make it about Ashley and how she was doing, how she was managing after the loss of Dog Squad. They had a bond, but not a strong one.
Ashley's thoughts returned to the present as she turned to look at the lines of Shepard's shoulders. They were more relaxed now that they had left the thresher nest behind.
The Mako bounced its way across the rocky terrain. On any other mission, Garrus would make a joke about Shepard's driving, but today he remained quiet, choosing instead to adjust his seat restraints. Ashley sent a smirk his way and she thought she saw it returned with a gentle smile. The taurian version of a smile; his mandibles twitched, at least.
She turned back to her screens. "Three klicks to the transmitter, Commander," she called over her shoulder.
Shepard continued to drive the Mako slowly and carefully over the brown hills. Ashley distracted herself by watching meteors falling noiselessly in the distance. She checked her scanners, but it didn't look like any would land near their position.
"I have a visual," Garrus said. "Looks like a Grizzly… Shepard, you better take a look."
Ashley watched the Commander carefully. She watched as Shepard's whole body seemed to tense. Her head tilted very slightly to the side and her fingers began to move rapidly in the air as if she were running a coin across her knuckles. It was a trick she'd seen the commander do more than once, but it was unsettling watching the display without the coin, the plates of her gloves quietly rubbing together. Her hands eventually stilled, before balling into fists. She let out a breath in the form of a low hum, almost a growl.
Ashley and Garrus watched and waited.
"Fuck," Shepard exhaled. She finally made eye contact with her squad. "It's another thresher maw nest. The planet is probably covered in them. But that one, those bodies and that transmitter, are right in the middle of it. I'm not leaving here until we find out what happened. There is no nearby cover, which means we'll be safest inside the Mako. Williams, you're on the machine gun. Garrus, you take the cannon. I want to know the moment the shields drop. We will go in slow. I will lay a path that spirals in towards the site. Hopefully, we can get an idea of how many threshers we'll need to take down. Sometimes with a nest there is only one or two adults to deal with. We might get lucky. He pātai?"
They shook their heads. No. No questions. Sometimes when Shepard was feeling particularly anxious, she'd slip into another language. Ashley had meant to ask her about it, but the time had never felt right, and the translators always sorted it out for her.
Ashley swivelled back to her post, but Garrus remained facing the commander.
"Shepard, I..."
She stopped him with a slight raise of her chin. "I'm fine, Garrus. I can get us through this. Be ready." She jerked her head toward his console; an unmistakable dismissal.
The three crewmembers settled themselves into their seats: flicking switches and preparing safety gear. Shepard ran through the usual checks and then turned to her crew. Ashley made note of the furrowed brow on Shepard's otherwise expressionless face. "Ready?"
At their affirmative nods, Shepard began to ease the Mako up to a medium speed. "Make sure your harnesses are nice and secure. I will try to keep her steady, but you should expect evasive manoeuvres." Ashley saw Garrus run his talons over his restraints again before returning his hands to the console. Ashley secured her seat and settled in. She couldn't help switching her gaze between the seismic scanner, ground-penetrating radar, gun scope, and the commander's shoulders. Shepard was absolutely focused. Ashley had come to appreciate the commander's ability to compartmentalise, to take her fears and anxieties, and neatly fold them away inside herself. Her shoulders were no longer locked. "Garrus, don't forget to monitor the shields." He didn't need to respond. Ashley knew this was all just part of Shepard's process.
As they wound their way closer towards that central point, Ashley began to hope that maybe Shepard was wrong, and the nest site was old and abandoned. Then the seismic scanner began to shriek at the same time as the radar picked up something massive. "Commander! The scanners…" Her warning shout was lost as the earth around them began to shake. She could feel her eyes widen with fear, as she desperately searched for a visual. She didn't have time to look to see what Shepard and Garrus were doing. She lined up the scope and let loose with the machine gun. The huge thresher maw looked a bit like a giant, Earth-centipede, but that's where the similarity ended. The shells seemed to have very little impact on the creature. Ashley had time to wonder what the plates on its huge exoskeleton were made of. Its thick carapace was much more colourful than the monochrome environment surrounding it, pink and blues. Then it roared. It actually roared. Like a bear. She felt the vehicle shake as the cannon fired and then felt the smaller vibration as the shell found its mark. She kept firing her machine gun as the creature threw its head back. Shepard chose that moment to use the rear thrusters to lurch the Mako forward at speed. Ashley's head bounced against the brace. Three spurts of acid hit the ground where the Mako had been. Shepard continued to drive in a straight line but when the maw disappeared beneath the ground, she swung the Mako around. All the while the earth rumbled and shifted beneath their wheels.
The rumbling stopped and there it was.
She had time to shout, "It's on our six!" before she heard the cannon fire. Garrus had time to hit the thing twice before the process repeated. Acid hit the Mako as Shepard attempted to accelerate away. The control panels began to beep, and lights flashed throughout. They all started shouting at once as different systems went offline. Shepard called for calm and they both gave their reports. The immediate concern was they had lost one of the rear thrusters, and suspension to the rear wheel. It was likely a tyre was gone as well, though miraculously the environmental seals remained intact.
The ground stopped rumbling. Ashley was the first to locate the looming thresher maw. "2 o'clock!"
The cannon fired again, and again. Ashley strafed the monster relentlessly and wanted to believe it was making a difference. She chanced a glance at Garrus, who looked as worried as she had ever seen him. Ashley suddenly noticed smaller, scaley bodies writhing in the sands. There are more of them, she shuddered. She recognised the pattern now, and as the maw's head gracefully arched away, she prepared herself for the lurch of the Mako.
Shepard managed to accelerate smoothly and then used the lopsided thrust to her advantage. It helped to quickly spin them onto a new course, and they cut straight towards the M29 Grizzly. Ashley assumed Shepard was going to use it as a shield for the smaller Mako, but they never made it. The thresher maw was back.
"Ok, you two. You're not going to like this. Just hit it with everything you have," Shepard said, with that same flat voice. The Mako came to a screeching halt, spinning slightly, and for a moment, Ashley found her viewfinder obscured by flying dust. She couldn't hear anything except for the high-powered munitions. The creature's head flung back. Ashley braced for the Mako's lateral shift and instead felt her body push downwards as the vehicle's rockets boosted them into the air. "Keep firing!" Shepard shouted. This time the thresher maw didn't sink below the surface. Garrus was able to hit it again, and finally, finally the thresher maw hit the ground and lay still.
Ashley couldn't help but break the silence. "What about the little ones? Do we need to hunt them, too?"
"These ones are quite small," Shepard said. "They shouldn't bother us for a while." She paused, looking down at her hands. "They follow the lead of the big ones. With this one dead, they won't try to attack again. Not until another adult arrives." Ashley and Garrus eyed her with alarm. "Let's get this done quickly," she finished, thumping her fists to her knees before standing.
Guns drawn and visors down, they clambered stiffly out into the glaring sunlight. Sweat beaded between Ash's shoulder blades, the dampness soaking into her under armour. She watched meteors strike the planet's surface in the distance and listened to the staccato rhythm of the rocks' fall. Suddenly she realised where she was and turned her gaze to the ground, looking for any sign of shifting sands. She was put on watch, while Shepard and Garrus searched the bodies and removed dog tags. It was unlikely that a retrieval team would be sent. Instead, the pair carefully and with practiced ease, emptied pockets of personal effects so that items could be returned to the marines' families. Shepard knelt in the sand and quickly filled six soil sample containers. Ashley didn't remember reading anything about this in the mission brief. Ashley crept forward to watch over Shepard's shoulder.
In a quiet, almost sonorous voice, Shepard said, "Tukua mai he kapunga oneone ki ahau hei tangi māku." The translator in Ashley's ear gave it to her as: send me a handful of soil so that I may weep over it. Shepard stood, clapping her hands together to shake off the worst of the dust. She turned and her mouth opened in surprise to see Ashley standing so close. Shepard looked guilty. A blush rose in her cheeks.
"Poetry, Skipper?"
"Something like that," Shepard replied with a shrug and a small smile. She's not guilty, Ashley thought, she's embarrassed.
They stood eyeing each other. Neither sure what to do next. Garrus broke the silence with a clearing of his throat. "Shepard, I need you to take a look at this."
Shepard turned and walked towards Garrus who was crouched next to the transmitter. Ashley hung back guarding the Mako. She couldn't hear what was being said, but was confident they would catch her up, once whatever had been decided was decided. Her attention turned back to arid, brown-gold landscape around her. She allowed her ears to focus on the little noises around her. The quiet rumble of the Mako's engine as it idled, the distant meteors thudding to earth, the sand shifting beneath Shepard's boots as she pointed, towards the transmitter. She kept a careful track of the HUD inside her helmet, but there was nothing alarming.
"Fine," Shepard's voice knocked her out of her reverie. "Bring the transmitter, and anything else we can use. We've been here longer than I like."
"It was a trap," Garrus said.
"It looks that way," Shepard answered. Her arms were crossed, weight resting on one hip as she eyed the middle distance. "I'll be passing on the mission report to the Alliance, and file it with the Council. Our next stop is the Citadel, so make what preparations you need to for two days shore leave. Garrus, Ashley and I will meet with Rear-Admiral Kahoku." She made eye contact with each person gathered. "Any questions?"
"Yeah. I've got one. How the hell did you learn to drive like that? I was sure that was going to be the end of us." All the eyes in the room turned towards Shepard.
Ashley made note of the fact that Shepard seemed to shrink inwards. Not obviously. It was just a slight ducking of the head. Her shoulders shrugged.
"Practice."
Everyone's thoughts turned to Akuze. Shepard's attempt at dark humour had fallen flat; someone gasped quietly.
Kaiden cleared his throat. He was wearing his sad puppy dog eyes as he began to speak, "Shepard, it's..."
The commander's head jerked up. "What? No." She looked around the room. "No. I don't mean that." She made eye contact with Ashley, her expression was inscrutable. "I mean actual practice. Heaps of time in the Sims and reading basically everything I could." She allowed herself a small smirk, and directed her last comment to Garrus, "I'll admit, I wasn't sure getting the Mako to jump would actually work. Always did in the Sims."
The mission debrief was over. Ashley remained seated and watched the commander as she strode towards XO Pressley. She was talking to him, gesturing vaguely with her hands. Her right one moved up to scratch the nape of her neck as the walked out of the room.
Ashley realised Liara had been talking to her. Something about shopping on the Presidium.
"Yeah, good idea," Ashley replied, hoping against hope that it would be a suitable response. Liara quirked an eyebrow, so Ashley quickly finished with, "Sorry Liara, I need to head out. Maybe get a quick feed and bed. The mission today really took it out of me." She didn't wait for Liara's kind words to finish. She left the Comm Room and scanned the CIC. Pressley was alone at his usual terminal, so without breaking her stride, she skipped down the stairs to the Mess. Her shoulders slumped slightly when she saw it was empty.
With no one to see her do it, Ashley turned towards the Captain's Quarters. She wasn't sure herself what she was hoping for, but it wasn't the red lit door display that announced that Shepard did not want to be disturbed. Unsure of what to do next, she settled herself down in the Mess, but was startled by a crash from Shepard's room. She was quickly out of her seat and across the corridor. Close to the door, she could hear crying. Not the gentle sobbing that comes from watching a particularly sad vid. This sound made the hair on the back of Ashley's neck stand up. It was utterly desolate. Part panic, part grief. Ashley hesitated before steeling herself and banging on the door. The keening stopped.
"Skipper? It's Ashley. You ok?" Ashley listened carefully, but couldn't hear anything in response. "Want me to get Chakwas, or someone?"
She thought she could hear something, but couldn't be sure. "Commander Shepard?"
Her omnitool buzzed. I'm fine. Will talk later.
Ashley pressed her forehead against the door in defeat. She let her fingers trace the grooves in the panelling. The metal was cold beneath her fingertips. Eventually, there was nothing left to do. She turned her back and headed towards the Crew Quarters, wishing Liara goodnight, as they passed on the stairwell.
Ashley didn't see Shepard at all until their small group assembled at the airlock. They were in their dress uniforms and Shepard was carrying a lightweight plastic crate covered in Alliance insignia. They passed the time with idle banter as they made their way to the Presidium. Rear Admiral Kahoku had asked to meet them in the courtyard, wanting to forgo the formalities that another meeting spot would impose. Shepard handled the introductions and then gave her mission report. It made for sombre listening and Kahoku was clearly upset.
"Commander, I appreciate what you did. Now I need to do my part. The families of those marines deserve to know why they died." He bounced once on the balls of his feet. "Commander Shepard, walk with me a moment."
Shepard nodded to Garrus and Ashley, dismissing them, but the courtyard was beautiful and neither of them were inclined to wander far. They strolled over to a nearby bench and sat admiring the beauty of their surroundings. The pair continued their idle chitchat. Soldiers get pretty good at small talk, same with C-Sec Officers, and their banter was easy and good natured. Ashley divided her attention between her conversation with Garrus and watching Shepard's interactions with the Rear Admiral.
The discussion was an animated one, which Ashley supposed was expected, given its likely nature. She was holding her shoulders rigid and wasn't making a lot of eye contact while she listened. Her eyebrows were drawn together, and her mouth was a thin line. Ashley recognised it as Shepard's thinking face. Shepard nodded and said something. But a long while later, it was obvious the conversation had shifted. Shepard was making a lot more eye contact, her body language was more open, relaxed even. Ashley watched the pair walk over to a bench and sit together. They leaned towards each other like old friends. Shepard laughed.
"That's new," said Garrus looking over at them for the first time.
And now Ashley and Garrus watched together. They were still watching as Shepard and Kahoku stood together, smiled, and pressed their forehead and noses together. They held that intimate pose, that not-quite-a-hug, for a few seconds, breathing in each other's breath, before separating. They smiled at each other again before releasing the other from their grasp. Shepard turned back as Kahoku picked the crate up from the bench and gave a small wave. Kahoku offered a mock salute and turned away.
"Human thing?" Garrus asked.
"No, not universal anyway," Ashley offered.
They were both still staring when Shepard walked up to them. She was practically bouncing.
"Did you know 'kahoku' means 'star' in Hawaiian?" Shepard asked, grinning. Not waiting for a response, she led them away.