The Doctor poked her head around the corner. A bright beam of red light narrowly missed her head as she quickly ducked back out of the way. "Rightie oh, so Sontarans. Really angry Sontarans..who are they mad at? Possibly me..why me? Well, I did kinda sorta disrupt their invasion plans..again. Are we sure its me, though? Possibly? Possibly, I think. Better just take a little peek again, just to be sure." Carefully, peering around the corner, she saw humanoids with domed, crested helmets and short stocky armor, which resembled thick and bulky blue/grey space suits. The Doctor ducked back out of sight again before she was noticed. "Not sure if its because of me, probably is..oh well, not happy campers either way. Best get a move on then." Glancing around, she noticed she was alone. 'Oh right! They're still at that resort..was it Thorna or Tygri VII? Better be sure which one..' A smile slowly spread across her face. Initially these monologues annoyed her, but now she had kinda learned to accept them as an extention of her thinking process. A verbal play by play of how her brain worked. Laughing to herself, she told herself to shush and get a move on before they used her for target practice again as she ran off down the corridor away from the sounds of marching Sontarans.
The first thing The Doctor noticed next as she bounded around a corner was her hat flying from her head to tumble across the floor. The second was her long red hair whipping in the air. A wind battered and buffeted through the corridor. Initially it had smelled of old wood in a desert, but now it was more like a forest in spring. Both scents stirred up vague memories..an old barn baking under a desert sun..An English forest..a picnic? No, it couldnt be!
Slowly, She turned towards the source of the wind, afraid of what she would see. Sure enough, a swirling vortex of light and clouds filled the other end of the corridor, churning like a whirlpool in the air, but she knew it for what it truly was. Thing was, though, it shouldn't be here. This wasn't what had happened before, had it? It was hard to remember, her memories were still abit fuzzy. She had even called Szej Jamie the other day. Talk about embarrassing..Szej in a kilt, awkward! Getting side tracked again, Doctor. Naughty habit! Oi?! So is talking to yourself! Wait..wait wait wait..focus.
Turning away from her inner arguments, The Doctor returned her attention to the glowing swirling mass hovering before her. "Honestly?", The Doctor asked sarcastically, "Kinda sorta busy here! Rain check?" The vortex simply hung there, turning in silence. "Fine..Let's see.. Eeny meeny miney mo..catch the Sontaran by the nose. What will he do..nobody knows..eeny meeny miney...Mo! Guess mo it is..Future beacons..or is it the past?" Snatching up her hat, The Doctor stood momentarily frozen before the vortex. Fragments of memories surfacing. Details, faint glimpses but nothing truly substantial. Wasn't the whole picture, but enough for her to grasp that whatever was about to happen, it was going to be a big deal. Was it wrong to be excited by that? Maybe, maybe not. "Winds from the east... Mist comin' in... Like somethin' was brewin', about to begin... Can't put my finger on what lies in store... But I feel what's to 'appen, all 'appened before...!"
She could just walk away, ignore it. Return to the Tardis, and go off somewhere that wasn't here. The sounds of pounding boots and angry raised voices suddenly reminded her of other pressing matters. Just a little side adventure, something to pass the time while Kat and Szej took a little holiday. How was she to know about the Sontarans?
"Sorry, fellas", exclaimed The Doctor, smiling. "Places to do, things to be! Stop, wait..reverse that." She then wound back her arm and threw her fedora as hard as she could. It spun down the vortex and vanished out of existence. Now, where had it gone? The past? Certainly. But, which past..a barn in the desert or a forest? The sounds of angry Sontaran soldiers drew even nearer, but were drowned out by the vortex. She felt it buzzing in her hair, could feel it humming in her veins. Seems like the vortex had been following her for centuries, yet had only just arrived. What had been and what was to come, bleeding into the here and now. She couldn't remember when it began, or even why it had started, but with a strange certainty, she knew that she was gazing down the corridor of her life. All the paths chosen, all the mistakes and triumphs, leading to her standing here now. Leading back to the man she once was. It was time..time for a leap of faith, she decided. "Stop doddling then." She admonished herself.
"Very well, Best foot forward then. Andiamo," The Doctor shouted, and leapt into history.
—-
"That is proper skinny! I've never seen it from the outside! Matchstick Man!"
The Tenth Doctor found himself all confused. First, it turned out that his bride to be was an alien duplicate. Secondly, or maybe it should have been firstly, Elizabeth I was his fiancee! Virgin Queen? If he wasn't careful, he could wind up changing the course of human history. But that wasn't even the most important thing happening at the moment.
It was the odd man before him. He could best be described as a young man, with his fringe hanging over one eye, his face long and angular, and his eyes glittering with intelligence and mischief. He had the oddest chin. Who was he? Dressed in a purple cashmere frock coat, a sky blue shirt, black jeans, a black waistcoat with the light check pattern, black pairs of boots, and a bow tie patterned with thistles. It didn't really help. Then, as he felt the fez he had found being swiped off his head, he realized.
'You're not.." He finally realized who this person could be. Of course, it had to be.."You can't be.." He trailed off as he brought his hand to his chest. The odd man copied his movements. Together, they reached inside their coats and pulled out sonic screwdrivers. His case was cream and metal with a blue, glowing tip. The Other Doctor's was copper with a black handle and a glowing green tip. They held them up, like badges of office.
The Other Doctor smirked, and extended his. It hummed and made the same familiar sound he knew all too well. Of course, Chinny would have to have a larger sonic. Raising an eyebrow, he asked sarcastically, "Compensating?"
"For what?" Asked The Other Doctor indignantly.
"Regeneration," replied The Doctor. "It's a lottery." He stuffed his sonic back into his jacket, determined to take control of the situation. "What's going? What are you doing here? " He glanced back to the Elizabeths. "I'm busy!"
Before The Other Doctor could reply, something fell to the forest floor between them.
"What is that? Some sort of fedora?" The Other Doctor asked.
"Porker", replied the Doctor.
"Oi!", exclaimed the Other Doctor indignantly.
Suddenly, there was a yell, distracting them both.
"Andiamo!" A feminine voice yelled. There was a bright flash, and then a woman came tumbling out of the vortex. Unlike the Other Doctor's abrupt and ackward arrival, dead leaves flew everywhere as she performed a somersault worthy of any gymnast, before landing on her feet with her arms outstretched. "Tada! Well that was definitely worth the price of admission."
The new arrival was a woman. She was an attractive young woman seemingly in her late twenties with an open, heart-shaped face, expressive deep brown eyes, and a sharp nose, but was softened by a tousled mane of copper red hair that seemed to be in a perpetual state of disarray. She was rather attractive, although, The Doctor would never say that aloud, not with Elizabeth right there. He liked his head right where it was. She was dressed in a beautiful blue and black herringbone tweed coat with a cape-like flap around her shoulders and an unusual gold pin worn on the lapel of a kitty curled up in the shape of a stylized question mark that glistened in the sun. This was worn atop a yellow cardigan-style sweater vest layered over grey trousers with blended pink and white stripes secured at the waist with a brown waist clasp belt with brass fastenings. Under the pullover, she wore a white polka dot cotton blouse, with a gold swirling knot brooch with a center pearl worn at her throat. Her eccentric ensemble was completed with a large sapphire ring on her finger, a rather long colorfully striped scarf draped around her neck, and a pair of distinctive ankle boots with button detailing on the body, with a softly distressed leather exterior upon her feet. An attractively striped umbrella with an elegantly curved and sculpted wooden duck head handle with brass accents was clutched in her hands. Who was she? Mary Poppins? Wait..Mary's had a parrot head..still, point stands!
"Hello! Beautiful!", exclaimed the Other Doctor. This earned him an annoyed eye roll from Ten, and glares from the Elizabeths. All of which, he willfully ignored.
"Hillo! Hope you don't mind me just dropping in?" The woman flashed a bright smile at everyone, but when she raised her hand to her head, the smile faded slighty, replaced by a more quizzical expression. "Hat..hat. Hathathathat! Know I had one.."
"what hat?"
"Yes..my hat!", exclaimed the young woman. "A bonnet? No no..porkpie perhaps, night cap, tricorner, fez.."
The Doctor could see that he was going to have to bring her back from the edge of whatever madness had gripped her. Before he could, the Other Doctor murmured, "Fez.."
The woman jerked back, coming back from wherever her mind seemed to have gone to. "Fez? Fez..no not a fez..its a..ah ha!" Plucking the hat from the ground by the Doctors' feet, she dusted it off before plopping it upon her head. "Ah! Much better! Hi-lo!" The Doctor noticed the hat was a felt boater hat in a cocoa brown color, with slightly curved brims.
The Doctor was bungled. Who was this woman?
"Hil-lo?", asked the Other Doctor, while The Doctor tried to organize his thoughts.
"Yes, well, was going to say hi, then went to switch it to hello, but got it all bungled. So, Hi-lo!" The woman explained cheerfully. "Hmm know what? I rather like it! Its very me! Agree?" The strange woman's voice was abit deeper than expected, with a rasp to it that was at once cheerful and worldly.
"Who are you?", asked an exasperated Doctor. Their new arrival was certainly full of energy, enough to make you dizzy. From the way she was handling the situation, he surmised she might be a future companion.
"What? Oops, where are my manners? I'm..." The woman turned and a look of shocked surprise was on her pretty features. "Oohhh it's you..and you! This can't be good..Nope. Nope, nope. Nope. Nope. I mean, honestly, do you even know the odds..."
The Doctor drew his other self aside. "Right..what is going on? First you show up, now her!"
"Oi! How should I know?", insisted The Other Doctor. "I was right here, with you, when she popped out of there, remember? Try asking her!"
They turned around again to find their new arrival standing off to the side with her gaze seemingly turned inward. The Doctor could practically hear the gears turning in her head.
"Oi! Earth to Pretty Lady." The Other Doctor snapped his fingers in front of the young woman's eyes. "Stay with us here. We've got questions."
"What?" The young woman blinked and her eyes came back into focus. "Pretty? Am I? Does it suit me? Sorry...sorry. Little distracted by the various probability factors at play here. Honestly, just for the two of you to be here together is quite improbable. Three of us, though? Odds increase exponentially..Lots to look at here." The last bit trailed off as she realized both Doctors were staring at her, bewildered. The young woman appeared to visibly compose herself, "Sorry, I'm rambling..Hi-lo!."
"I get that," The Doctor said,"but lets stay focused on the big picture rather than getting bogged down in the specifics. Such as who are you?"
"Oooohhh right", the woman murmured, "You don't know me yet. Righty oh! Intros...So you're the Tenth?"
"What?", exclaimed a startled Doctor.
"And you must be the Eleventh." The other Doctor simply nodded, utterly bewildered by the situation.
"What?!"
"Huh, beginning to feel like we're caught in an ouroboros loop," The young woman murmured, before continuing, "Haven't you guessed yet?," she queried, "Haven't quite gotten the clint..clint? Ooops did it again, didn't I? Meant to say clue, then sorta tried to change it midway to hint..so got clint. Don't like it.. Sorry.. sorry.. rambling.. again."
"What?!"
"Oh right, sorry, almost forgot, my turn!," Reaching into her jacket, she withdrew what The Doctor quickly realized was another sonic. Only this one was smaller than the Other Doctor's, yet with a long, slimmer silhouette. At least hers wasn't larger than his own. That would have been awkward. Her's though had an elegantly simplistic design in silver-and-black, with golden accents. Unlike his own and the Other Doctor's, when she activated hers, its windowed emitter shown with a warm light. "Tah dah! I've got one too" The Doctor noticed a silver signet ring on the woman's hand as she waved her sonic around, a very familiar ring..No it couldn't be!
"What?!"
The Other Doctor suddenly grew excited. 'Nooooo!"
"Alrightie now, once more with feeling," The young woman pointed to the Other Doctor with one hand, "He was you," She then pointed at the Doctor with her sonic in the other, "You will be he," Finally, she pointed back at herself with both, "And you both will be me."
"That's impossible," stated The Doctor, "You can't..."
The young woman, who seemed to be implying she was yet another of his future selves, grew indignant. "Why can't I be? He's here..you're here! Now so am I! Highly improbable possibly, but not impossible." Flashing The Doctor a mischievous grin, she said "Although, rather like Alice, I try to believe six impossible things before breakfast."
"So, you're.."
'I'm the Thirteenth." chirped Thirteenth Doctor, eagerly shaking first Ten, then Eleven's hands. "And, super jazzed to be here! All things considered.."
"Right..okay..Look.. I don't know what's going on here." stuttered the Doctor, the surprise of his other selves' arrival was wearing off fast. "What are you both doing here? I'm busy!"
"Busy?", Thirteen looked around with a quizzical look, then noticed the two women behind Ten. "Oh? Oooohh! Right, interrupting..Ackward! Is it ackward? It's ackward, right?"
"Doctor?", They asked in unison. "Who is this man...and this woman?!"
"Friends!", chirped Thirteen, "I hope.."
"Oooohh right! Busy? Is that what we're calling it? Eh? Eh?" Eleventh asked, sarcastically. He picked up his fez, and placed it on his head, before bowing dramatically to the young ladies. "Hello, ladies."
"Just don't," warned Ten, feeling frustrated, annoyed, and confused all at once.
"Ooohhh! Oh uhm yes..right..uh now..now this is ackward." murmured Thirteen.
Glancing over his shoulder, he saw his other future self step up beside him, her tousled red hair stirring in the forest breeze. A look of mild embarrassment mixed with a mischievous grin. "I don't remember being that silly. Trying abit too hard really..Adorable, though, isn't it?" The Doctor found himself appraising his future feminine self, realizing her dress sense should have been a dead give away to her identity. It was noticeably influenced by previous incarnations, including himself. Rather spiffy shoes..no no no hold on!
Out loud, the Doctor replied frustratedly. "Yes..wait what? No..look I still don't understand why you are all here." The shock and surprise of meeting his future selves was beginning to wear off fast.
"Me either," Ten noticed that she had a look that belied her youthful appearance. It was the look of someone far older, of someone who had seen far more and knew far more than most. It was a look he knew well. Maybe she was a Doctor after all. "Something about this feels..familiar somehow..connected..connected.." Thirteen suddenly seemed to be transfixed by something only she could see as she murmured softly to herself. "Deja vue?"
"Oui..Look I still dont understand why you..both of you..are here"
"Neither do I," Thirteen flashed him an embarrassed smile. "Something happened..whatever caused my regeneration, left my memories all jumbly wobbly...still adjusting, shifting..settling in.." Suddenly, her smile turned brighter. "Maybe that's why i'm here? To sort of reconnect with who I was so I can begin to become who I am supposed to be." Ten nodded in understanding.
Glancing over toward Eleven, who was still trying to come of as suave, but was actually looking abit dramatic and silly. "Oh!", she exclaimed excitedly. "Oohh I'm..Ah uhm..ooohhh..wait, was this a private outing?"
"What?" exclaimed Ten, put off by the sudden shifts in both mood and conversation.
Thirteen's face almost turned red, and her eyes widened. "Right, definitely private..Couples only? No, wait..There's three of you..ménage à trois? Oui? No, wait...Five, yes, five of us now. Ménage de cinq personnes? Non?"
"Don't start. I'm in the middle of something."
"O-kay, so no party of five?." asked his future female self, now that was something he was really having problems getting a grasp on. Obviously, it's always been a possibility, but still..at least she was ginger.
"A party of..", stammered Ten, "What?"
"You say that a-lot, don't you? Now, where were we? Oh..Yes..a party, a nice little picknicky party in the woods.. Lovely day for it, don't you think?," rambled Thirteen, "Bit of fancy dress, though.."
"Awww, don't you start!" Ten exclaimed. "It's not like that!"
"Sorry" Thirteen said sheepishly, "Prying right? Personal moment..precious memories. You..her..She..they..." Confusion crossed her pretty features. "Hey! Isn't that Elizabeth the First..The Virgin Queen? Whoa..ok..yes..definitely interrupting..wait, why are there two of them? Twinsies..double your pleasure..oohhh definitely not finishing that thought!"
"One of them's a Zygon."
This revelation shook Thirteen from her rambling monologue..Ten found himself off putted by the look of shock on Thirteen's face and the one of disgust on Eleven's. Before he could defend himself, as if he had to, especially to himselves.. Eleven had recovered his composure quickly, returning to his apparently normally ackwardly odd self.
"Well, I'm not judging you."
"Nope..nope, nope. nope, nope. Noppitynope!," chirped in Thirteen, " No judgy wudgey. What you do with your regeneration is your business..Just one thing, though.."
"What?"
"Which one?" Thirteen looked at him with an expression that remind Ten of an inquisitive child.
"Which one what?" This future self may be perky and bouncy but was also frustrating! He was beginning to understand how his companions must feel..
"Is the Zygon! Is it that Elizabeth?" Ten just stared at her in silence as Thirteen pointed toward the Elizabeth on the left. "No? The right? It's the right, huh? Sure? Definitely the left.."
Ten went to protest again, when a humming, sizzling noise behind them drew his attention. All three Doctors spun round to face the vortex, which was still hovering in the air, flexing, stretching, and twisting. All three Doctors put on glasses to examine it more clearly. All three then caught sight of each other.
"Ah, Lovely!" They all gestured at each other's glasses, smiling gleefully.
"What's wrong with it?" Ten asked Eleven as he removed his glasses, putting them away.
"I don't know", he replied. Both turned to face Thirteen, who simply shrugged. "I don't know either."
"You fell out of it!"
"So did she!", snapped Eleven, "and you're who I almost landed on! Much rather have landed on her.' Eleven tilted his head to indicate Thirteen, who grew indignant at the remark.
"I'm not your safety cushion!" Thirteen huffed indignantly, her voice getting squeaky as she smacked Eleven on the arm.
"Still softer than Matchstick Man over there, probably get cut on the edges or something" Eleven replied sarcastically, rubbing his arm, then spun on his heels again toward the Elizabeths. "Listen, you two. That thing up there is probably dangerous. You both need to get out of here."
Rather to Eleven's annoyance, they both looked last him to Ten. "But what about the creature?" they asked in unison. Tenth turned to look at his bride to be and her alien doppelgänger. His life was definitely stranger than fiction.
"Elizabeth, whichever one of you is the real Elizabeth, turn and run in the opposite direction of the other Elizabeth!" He exclaimed, pointing in opposite directions. The Elizabeths looked at each other, and then each in turn stepped right past an annoyed Eleven and planted a long and noisy kiss on Ten. As each kiss went on and on, Eleven found himself standing beside Thirteen, shrugging in apology, while his future self observed in ackward horror the activities of his younger self.
"Uhm..Wasn't one of them a Zygon?", enquired Thirteen, as the Elizabeths tore off in opposite directions.
"I know," said Ten, discreetly wiping his mouth on his sleeve.
"Big, rubbery thing. Covered in suckers. Venom sacs in the tongue."
"Yes, I'm getting the point, thank you."
Thirteen shivered, grimacing as a thought occurred to her. "Ugghhh! Think I can still taste it!"
"Oh, you two think you're so funny!"
"Just saying," murmured their future female self.
"From you, that's a compliment.", snarked Eleven.
There was another crackle from the vortex above, and this time a voice. "Doctor? Is that you?"
'Clara? Hello? Can you hear us?" Thirteen's head snapped up at the mentioning of Clara's name. As Eleven shouted up to the vortex, she tentatively joined him. A perplexed look upon her pretty features as she stared up at the hovering portal. "Clara? Clara Oswald?"
'Yeah we can hear you...wait! Who's that?" called Clara.
"It's..well..it's a bit complicated.."
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, yes. Are you still in the Under Gallery?"
"Course, yeah. Where are you?"
Eleven and Thirteen glanced toward their younger self, who called out as he joined them, "England, 1562."
"Now who are you talking to?" called back Clara.
All three Doctors looked at each other, and grinned. "Myself," they said in unison.
Another woman's voice called back this time, "The portal, or whatever it is, seems to be becoming unstable."
"Possibly, yes," replied Eleven. "This end too."
"Then you should come back through, immediately," said the voice in a firm tone. "In case, it closes."
Thirteen approached the vortex, her glasses back in place, as she explained. The Doctor couldn't help but notice her glasses were similar to his own, "Physical passage may not be possible in both directions." Suddenly, she spun around and snatched the fez off of Eleven's head, to his immediate indignation. "Let me try something first. Incoming!" She then threw the fez into the vortex. All three Doctors watched as it was sucked out of existence, and waited. Silence. "Did you get it?" asked Eleven, glaring briefly at his future self. "Is it there?"
"Is what here?", asked the voice from above.
"The fez! I threw it back through.", stated Thirteen.
"Nothing came through here."
Eleven glanced over his shoulder to glare at his other selves as they stood there, giggling like children. "Looks like we're down a fez. Go on, try the bow tie next." Elven placed a protective hand over his treasured neckwear as Thirteen put a hand to her mouth to cover her giggles.
"Okay, you used to be me, this is your second go. What happens now?" asked Ten.
"I don't remember," replied Eleven.
Ten glared at him, indignant. "How do you forget this?!"
"It's not my fault. You're obviously not paying enough attention!" exclaimed Eleven. He then pointed at Thirteen, "Ask her, this is her third time round!"
"Don't ask me," stated Thirteen, tapping the side of her head. "Jumbly wumbly, remember? Besides, with three of us here, timelines are all jumbled up like knotted strings..What are you doing?" Eleven had turned back toward the vortex, raising his sonic.
"Reversing the polarity."
"Is that all we ever do?" said Ten, raising his own screwdriver. "Isn't there anything new in the future?"
Both sonics buzzed as they were aimed side by side at the vortex. "It's not working," he said after a moment.
"Obviously," said Thirteen as she joined them. "You're both reversing the polarity."
"I know!," exclaimed Eleven.
Thirteen sighed as she continued, "There's two of you-he's reversing it and you're reversing it back again! You're confusing the polarity!"
"Well stop then!," Eleven stated to Ten.
"No, you stop!" said Ten as he reached for Eleven's sonic at the same time Elven was reaching for his, resembling squabbling children. Their momentary tussle was interrupted by a tremendous crash from a few feet away. All three Doctors stared at each other, no one seemingly wanting to turn and look. Something else had dropped through the vortex, and hit the forest floor. There had been no cry of pain on impact, but now they heard a few grunts of effort and the crack of an old man's knees. Someone had just climbed to their feet.
The forest was still. Birds twittered, bees droned, wind rustled. Still they didn't look.
"Anyone lose a fez?" said a voice like a silken rasp.