And here we have another Jily fic inspired by a Taylor Swift's song, groundbreaking I know. But what can I do if literally every verse in Willow is so quotable? Taylor's fault, not mine. lol
Anyway, I'm very excited about this, my first ever official multi-chapter fictional story. This is set in the same universe of What's in a name - the events of What's in a name take place between chapters 3 and 4 of Willow. So, despite the fact that you can start reading the first three chapters of this story without having read the previous, after chapter 4 things might get confusing if you don't know what happened between Lily and James in What's in a name.
My plan is to update every Friday. I already have most of the fic outlined, cause I'm loving writing it! I hope you like it too :)
Disclaimer: this universe and characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Despite my love for HP, I do not support any of her despicable transphobic views.
Chapter 1: An open-shut case
The click-clack of her short heels reverberated on the empty corridors as she hurried down the castle. Grateful the staircases were quite tamed this evening and that she managed to avoid running into Eddie patrolling with Misandra Parkinson, Lily sped swiftly through the six floors to the dungeons. It wasn't how she expected the night to go, but it was much preferable to spending another second in the company of Mulciber and his lot.
She made her way to the ground floor, taking the left turn on the stairs leading to the underground, and with the final steps to the second door on the right, she reached her target. Inside the Potions classroom, holding the tail of her dress robes in one hand, she lowered herself on the trapdoor to the storage basement.
She faced the cramped space, murmuring "lumos" as she raised on her toes to peek around the top shelves. She was looking for Chelidonium Miniscula, the key ingredient of the cough healing potion she promised the fourth-year Ravenclaw uncomfortably sitting in Professor Slughorn's office, choking on his strong mead – or maybe on the disagreeable rancidness of Pureblood nonsense, Lily silently mused. When the young girl started coughing her lungs out, Lily jumped at the opportunity and volunteered to brew the healing concoction for her fellow Slug Club student, which meant she had to excuse herself from the table to go grab the required ingredient. With any luck, she would be gone long enough to find the "intimate dinner", as the professor called it, done and dusted by the time she got back.
She was about to conjure a small bench on which to step on to reach the highest shelf of the corner when she heard an abrupt open and close of doors and hasted footsteps. She waited a beat, expecting the familiar sound of teenage giggles and sucking noises, but it never came. The footsteps had halted. With a frown, Lily turned around and made her way back through the trapdoor. She lifted her head to look inside the classroom but before she could raise the rest of her body, the person in front of her disappeared.
She blinked, confused.
One second, two seconds, three -
The classroom was completely empty, but through the open door a patchy grey rat made its out of the room and to the corridor.
Climbing fully to the floor above her, Lily sat flabbergasted. She wasn't going crazy. She wasn't going blind.
She was certain she saw Peter Pettigrew standing before her eyes before he transformed into a fucking rat.
Lily's sixth year was a cluster foxtrot. If she could go back in time to share a word with her younger self, it would probably go along the lines of "Good luck, love, you're in for some ride!". Because nothing could have prepared her for the end of 1976 and beginning of 1977.
Nothing could have prepared her for the collapse of the friendship she had cherished the most. Despite the warning signs, it broke her heart just the same.
Nothing could have prepared her for her first boyfriend and how sad it was to realize she was never going to fall in love with him.
Nothing could have prepared her for the absolute exhaustion of trying to keep up with the expectations others set for her, but much worse the ones she set for herself.
And now, to end this brilliant year, the icing on the cake, the cherry on top of it - she had to go and witness a fellow student (most certainly, illegally) transfiguring into an animal right in front of her.
By the time June came along, her head was spinning out of control.
- You alright, love? - Cassandra asked, as they walked away from Greenhouse 3 towards the castle.
- Yeah, sorry. Just distracted.
- You've been distracted for quite some time now. Since at least last week. I mean, last Wednesday you did almost send Lizzie to the Hospital Wing with that misfired Stretching Jinx of yours. What's going on with you?
Lily sighed. Of course Cassandra would've noticed she was off her game lately. Lily could've just told her it was the stress of the upcoming exams or the end of the school year making her anxious about the future. Which, in theory, was not a lie. It wasn't the full truth either. She settled on somewhere in the middle.
- I think I'm going to drop Herbology.
- Oh. - Cassandra was taken back. - Are you sure? You know you need a N.E.W.T level Herbology to become a potioneer. Or a healer.
- I know – Lily replied.
It wasn't an easy decision. Lily had been mulling over the topic for months now, going back and forth in her determination to drop the subject. For maybe the first time in her life, she didn't know what was best for her. It scared the hell of out of her.
- I can't keep going like this, Cassie. Seven N.E.W.T level classes is just undoable. You've seen how much I struggled this year, I can't do it all over again next year.
- I know that, Lily. I've told you so one hundred times already, since fifth year if you recall. - She stopped before they reached the Entrance Hall. - I know you'll have to drop something in seventh year, it's the right thing to do. But are you sure it should be Herbology? Does that mean you have decided over your career?
Lily shifted her weight, uncomfortable. Avoiding Cassandra's piercing dark eyes, she played with the sleeves of her school robes.
- Not exactly.
Cassandra was not having it.
- Yes, you did. Why won't you drop Ancient Runes or Arithmancy then?
Shit.
- I just think they might prove more useful than Herbology, Cassie.
- More useful for what exactly, Lily? Stop skirting the subject!
Cassandra raised her voice in the final part, drawing the attention of the other seventh-years who were climbing back from the greenhouses behind them. Remus arched his brows to Lily, noticing the tension between the two girls, but said nothing. He offered her a kind smile before following Potter and Black, who didn't even glance her way, inside the castle. The last one to walk past them was Pettigrew, and Lily immediately averted her gaze, not wanting to fall back inside the rabbit hole of theories and speculation surrounding his transformation upon which she descended the last weeks, and lose focus of the conversation she was having with a very (quickly-escalating) incensed Cassandra.
- Keep you voice down, Cassandra – Lily replied, calmly.
- Sorry.
Lily sighed again.
- I haven't decided yet. But I know I have to drop something next year, and between Herbology, Runes and Arithmancy, I think Herbology is the least useful. Despite what you might think – she rushed to add the last sentence when Cassandra opened her mouth to retort. - You know I want to fight, Cassie.
That was the crux of the problem. Lily wanted to fight and Cassandra didn't. For Lily, the choice when it came to her future career could not be made detached of the acknowledgment of the war brewing around them. For Lily, her role in the fight against bigotry and discrimination could only come through active participation. Through standing on the front lines. That meant becoming an auror or a curse-breaker.
For Cassandra, the best resistance was to live their lives to the fullest despite the obstacles put by those who wished to see them excluded from the Wizarding world. For her, choosing your future job to mould into the expectations of others, or to fit in the context, was accepting that the Muggleborns' fate was at the hands of everyone but themselves.
Cassandra and Lily have had similar discussions multiple times. The only two Muggleborns among the seventh-year Gryffindors, they often turned to each other when the lack of personal experience of their peers bounded their understanding of the issue. They haven't yet talked about permanent decisions, like job applications, because they felt they were still too young to set in stone what they were going to do when they graduated. Which is why Lily regretted bringing that up now, in her haste to think of something that didn't sound like a dismissal when Cassandra asked her what was wrong.
- I haven't decided yet, Cassie – Lily repeated, eager to put the conversation to rest for now. - I still have the summer to figure it out. I just know I can't keep on this way. This year has been really rough on me.
At that, Cassandra's eyes, which had hardened at the mention of fighting, softened again. She looped her left arm around Lily's right, and guided her to the tall wooden doors of the Entrance Hall.
- Tell me about it. When I asked what was wrong, I half expected you to say you were regretting breaking up with Edgar, or worse, that you bumped into Snape and was thinking about forgiving him. – Her entire face contorted on a grimace at this, making Lily laugh out loud.
- How dare you? I might be going crazy but I am certainly not going stupid!
For Lily's relief, Cassandra didn't insist on the topic the following days. She knew it was only a matter of time before her friend would bring it up again, and oppose her decision to abandon Herbology, but she hoped she had bought herself some time, wishfully most of the summer. She knew she was safe for the next weeks at least – with their final exams and the return to their hometowns, Lily's interaction with Cassandra would be limited, which right now served her just fine.
She was only half right.
The last Friday of the school year arrived both too slow and too fast, where Lily was concerned. It seemed that her sixth year up to June lasted ten years with the amount of shit on Lily's shoulders, but its last month flew in a dazing pace, with the exam days muddling in Lily's head, the results coming in too quickly, and Lily finding herself one day walking towards Hogsmeade to take the Hogwarts Express. She barely remembered packing.
- I'm gonna go ahead and find us an empty compartment, alright? - said Elizabeth, when the four Gryffindor girls reached the station in the small village. She powered through the mass of students, without waiting for an answer, and boarded the train, her dark purple suitcase trailing after her.
- Someone's eager to get back home, eh? - chuckled Cassandra, eyes following the witch's retreating back.
- She wants to make sure we don't travel anywhere near Sirius – admitted Marlene, lowering her voice as if Elizabeth would catch her words in the fifty feet of distance she now had with her friends.
- Oh, did they row? - asked Lily, immediately interested, at the same time Cassandra declared with an affected high voice -
- Ooh, a lovers' quarrel, I see, I see.
Lily bit back her laugh, knowing Marlene had no patience for hers and Cassandra's sense of humour. At least not when it came to Elizabeth and her horrible taste in men.
- Will you two quit it? Lizzie is rather upset about the whole thing.
That got Lily's attention.
- Really? She's normally so casual when it comes to Black. I thought she wasn't emotionally invested, which I'd say is a fantastic decision, considering his troubling personality – Lily sneered, making Cassandra giggle and Marlene shoot her a dirty look.
- She's not invested, Lily. They're just hooking up, as always. But they rowed the other day and it was ugly, for what I can tell.
- What did they row about?
- I'm not sure, Lizzie didn't want to talk about it. Probably just Sirius being a git.
- Like I was saying, troubling personality – Lily sang, eyes dancing with mirth.
- Who has a troubling personality? Don't tell me you finally developed a sense of self, Evans - a sarcastic voice called, coming from behind them. Lily turned around to see Black and his troupe reaching their side, suitcases floating around them.
Lily laughed so hard her belly ached. She knew it shouldn't be this funny, but the cumulated stress and exhaustion of the past year was getting the best of her now. And the absurdness of the situation, Black clueless asking about a snarky remark that was directed at him while trying to jeer at Lily, just made her howl. His puzzled look didn't help matters, nor did Cassandra's matching snorts.
Marlene just rolled her eyes, and glaring at Black, moved along in direction of the train. Cassandra followed, sending a friendly wave at Pettigrew and Remus and ignoring the other two. Lily wiped the tears that gathered on the side of her eyes.
- Guess you're persona non grata now, Black. Tough luck – Lily taunted, sending him a mocking wink before going after her friends.
Lily's relationship with the Marauders was complicated, at best. Despite their close proximity throughout the years caused by being sorted into the same house together, Lily could only say she was friends with Remus Lupin, and that's mainly because he was the Gryffindor prefect alongside her. They'd never been close until fifth year, when Prefect meetings and round patrols brought them together. Remus was mostly kind and responsible, despite the inescapable mischief that lurked behind his character. Which Lily could understand, seeing the blokes he called best mates. Nevertheless, the four boys were vastly different from each other.
Sirius Black was the literal opposite of Remus – irresponsible and rude, his only redeemable qualities in Lily's eyes were his dark sense of humour, concerningly similar to Lily's at times, and his sharp intelligence. She never got along with him, feeling always caught off guard in his presence, which explained her eagerness to take the first shot whenever they interacted.
James Potter, on the other side, had always been a thorn in her side. The self-proclaimed leader of the group, what he had in excess of charm and skills, he lacked in self-awareness and humility. As a good-looking, talented, wealthy Pureblood, who seemed to go through life with little to vex him, it bothered Lily to no end his inability to be a better example to others.
And Peter Pettigrew, the sweetest but less capable of the four, for whom Lily never spared much thought until right now, when she strongly suspected him to be an unregistered Animagus.
This last piece of information disoriented Lily colossally. She couldn't fit in her head the image of nice but plain Pettigrew with one of incredibly dangerous and high-level performance of magic. It made no sense to her and, yet, she knew it shouldn't come as a surprise. The Marauders, in their clashing personalities and lifestyles, secretive pet names and uncharacteristically discretion, seemed to be one step ahead of the rest of the castle, functioning in a completely apart dynamic. Especially this year.
Lily noticed with a detached curiosity how the Gryffindors' behaviour this last semester didn't exactly match what she was used to expect of them. After the whole ordeal on the lake, following their O.W.L's exams the year before, Lily was too caught up in her personal disasters to notice what was going on with other people. After the summer and her friendship with Severus Snape were officially done, sixth year began in a rush, Lily so determined to move on that she hastily embarked in a fresh new relationship with seventh-year Hufflepuff Edgar Bones. The disappointing outcome of a relationship born out of pride and boredom shook Lily to her core. On her seventeenth birthday, newly single, Lily promised to stay away from blokes and insensible connections. In an effort to keep her head clear, she started to pay more attention to what was happening around her.
Cassandra helped her put the pieces of the puzzle together. Something had happened at the end of fifth year, besides the shattering of the pretence that Severus still had some good in him after Potter bullied him and he in turn humiliated Lily in front of the school. Something else had happened, something serious enough to have Severus and the Marauders, except Pettigrew, called to the Headmaster's office in the last week of term. Cassandra filled Lily in on the rumour mill making its way around the castle, that Black almost got expelled, that Potter and Severus were found trying to kill each other, that Remus saved Severus' life. Nobody really found out what happened there but Lily knew it had a tremendous impact on all four boys.
During the summer, just once, Severus came by her house. Knocked shyly on the door and endured Petunia's disagreeable attitude. They talked for the whole of five minutes, in the alley behind the local pharmacy. He apologized for what he had said, but not for what he was, and begged her to go back to being friends. He looked completely beaten, taken back. Lily wondered at the time if it was only because of their fight, but later she fathomed that there must also have had something to do with the mysterious incident between him and the Gryffindor boys. After her refusal to forgive him for what was unforgivable, he left her alone. His determination held up during the school year, though Lily didn't give him any chances to change his resolve when she surrounded herself with sweet, dependable Eddie.
Severus wasn't the only one shaken up. Cassandra relayed to Lily the odd interactions between Potter, Black, Remus and Pettigrew in the new year, and what Elizabeth had let slip after too much turnip wine. Best never-seen-without-each-other mates Black and Potter had a rift. For the best part of the first term, Potter and Remus kept on one side while Black and Pettigrew stayed on the other. They still hung out together in public, sat next to each other in classes and during meals, but privately, Cassandra gossiped, things were far from alright between them.
Interest piqued, Lily began to take closer notice of their peculiar dynamic. But once again, something appeared to change, between the first term of sixth year and the second, because Potter and Black came back from Christmas break glued to each other. The Marauders seemed to be back to business as usual, laughing unnecessarily loud, stomping around the castle as if they owned it, throwing parties left and right in the Common Room. Elizabeth and Marlene, the closest to them out of the sixth-year Gryffindor girls, looked relieved that all was back to normal. Yet Lily noticed that their behaviour wasn't exactly the same as before.
For what Lily thought was the first time in the six years she'd known them, Potter and Black made a point of staying away not only from Severus, which would be logical after the whole debacle involving the Headmaster, but from the entire Slytherin population. More than once, Lily witnessed Mulciber and company provoking them, hissing strange insults at Black that didn't make sense to Lily, but Potter and him would merely march away, heads held high. Their famous pranks were reduced to a minimum, and most of the ones they still carried out came off to Lily as forced, as if their hearts were not really in it. Especially when coming from Remus – on many a night walking next to him in patrol, Lily wondered where that mischievous light behind his eyes had gone.
They were still widely popular and sought after, but that didn't seem to gauge in them the same self-importance anymore. Lily entertained the hypothesis, more than once, that these were the signs of maturity, that maybe the Marauders were growing up after all and becoming serious about the future, only to have the hypothesis shot down when it turned out that they were not taking their education and prospects any more seriously than before, not even Remus. Whenever Lily tried to bring up their plans for after graduation during rounds, Remus seemed extremely reluctant to carry on with the conversation. She knew he had a hard time because of his condition but it felt odd that he wouldn't want to prepare for the future. Potter and Black, for their turn, were often seen musing aloud, derisively, about which Quidditch teams would hire them first and which would pay the most, even though Black didn't even play on the school team. Pettigrew, for all accounts, had no idea when job applications were taking place.
All of this confused Lily, who couldn't reach a conclusion about their characters. She suspected there was so much going on between them she couldn't begin to understand how their group functioned. How they always seemed to know where they were going, never getting caught mucking about, by Filch or any other unwanted third-party. How they always disappeared during the full moon, as if the four of them were werewolves and not just Remus. How they seemed to know more about what was happening outside the castle than anyone else did. Their whole behaviour was so peculiar, so incongruous, that Lily felt at times there was a big chance she didn't know who they were at all, even after six years. A feeling that was only reinforced by her discovery of Pettigrew's off hours activities.
Lily squared her shoulders and navigated through the busy corridors of the train behind Cassandra and Marlene, checking every cabin for Elizabeth. She knew she would have her plate full this summer. If her mind was already spinning out of control the past weeks, the anticipation of the next months, head caught between Pettigrew's transformation and which course to drop, alarmed her greatly. As if sharing those thoughts with her, Cassandra turned around in her heels before they entered the compartment where Elizabeth sat prettily, and lowered her voice so that only Lily heard.
- Don't think I forgot about our talk. As soon as I'm back from Greece with my parents, I'm coming by and we will discuss at length everything that's going through this little busy head of yours, you hear me?
Lily sighed and nodded. She knew it was too much to expect Cassandra to wait until summer was over to broach the subject again. With a small smile to her dearest friend, she stepped into the cabin for her last ride to a summer before Hogwarts.
- Hi, Tuney – Lily said pleasantly, as she entered her parents' house after six months away. Her mum and dad had picked her up at King's Cross station, even though she insisted she could come home by herself, since she'd already secured her license to Apparate. They didn't quite understand what that meant but were excited either way to drive the two hours from Cokeworth to London to get her.
Everything looked the same in the old brick house. The living room with its modest armchairs and single side table, heavy television on top of the fireplace, very simple, very clean. A delicious smell was coming from the small kitchen on the left, warning Lily that her mother had not lost the habit of baking fresh chocolate-chip cookies every time Lily came back from Hogwarts. She stepped the rest of the way in, heart warming at the sight of familiarity. Her dad followed her through the narrow vestibule, carrying her school suitcase up the stairs to Lily's room.
- Hi, Lily. Welcome back – replied Petunia, eyes not leaving the magazine she read on the counter. - Cookies are done, Mum.
- Ooh, right on time – cooed their mother, rushing to get to the kitchen. Lily walked after her, dropping her handbag on the counter next to Petunia, and sat on the tall seat.
- How've you been? - she asked Petunia with a side glance.
- Well enough. The wedding preparation is driving me crazy, but that's how it goes. I suppose I shouldn't complain. – Petunia's tone was one of pure dismissal and Lily had always been quick to take a hint. Murmuring a "that's good, Tuney", she looked back to her mother and fell silent.
They ate the cookies mostly in quietude, trading brief words when her dad came back down, and after the standard exchange of how things were going at Hogwarts, how was lovely Cassandra doing, what are the plans for the summer, Lily excused herself to her bedroom.
And just like that, Lily was back home.
The summer days passed slowly in the Evans residence. Petunia stayed in the house an awful lot for someone who claimed to be extremely busy with wedding plans, but Lily supposed her fiancé's, Vernon Dursley, family was actually in charge of all the arrangements, leaving Petunia to only worry about walking down the aisle and smiling placidly while doing so. Lily's mum and dad had to work during the week and, on the weekends, they spent quiet evenings watching the telly together, eating pastries. Without her regular walks around town with Severus and no visits from the girls, – who were all in summer trips with family or friends - Lily spent her days inside her room, ruminating all and everything.
She had officially decided to drop Herbology to take six N.E.W.T level courses in seventh year – Charms, Potions, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Ancient Runes and Arithmancy. It was still a lot, and only the first four were formally required in order to become an auror, but while she did not want to make the same mistakes of sixth-year Lily, she was determined to push herself hard. She supposed that with one less class, she would have more time to focus on the other ones, and prepare to field job applications. On the second week of July, Lily subscribed to Auror Academy to receive its weekly editions versing about trainings, requirements and other relevant information around the career. She also kept herself updated with the Politics and Ministry of Magic Affairs segments of the Daily Prophet, though what she read there often distressed her, plaguing her later at night with nightmares.
With her mind finally made up, she only needed to figure out what she was going to tell Cassandra. Despite her reluctance to start rows with her best friend, Lily knew she had to be uncompromising when it came to her own future. And Cassandra needed to learn that. For better or for worse. Lily practiced some cute lines she could use to soothe her strongheaded (a.k.a. stubborn as fuck) mate, ranging from cheeky to downright emotional.
- You know if I ever got an office job I'd never exercise again in my life, so I need to find one that will force me on my feet.
- I'll be working for the Ministry, how fancy is that, Cassie?
- l guess I always wanted an opportunity to be out there watching out for you.
Deep down, Lily knew none of it was going to work so she was already preparing herself to bounce whatever arguments Cassandra threw her way. She had made her choice but it still pained her to have to stand behind it.
While this topic brought Lily great uneasiness, her reflections about Pettigrew effectively drained her. Lily was certain he was an Animagus. At some point, it occurred to her that he might have had used bodily-transmogrifying spells to change into an animal but Lily recalled very vividly that he did not have his wand with him, or at least that he did not use it on himself. What she does remember was seeing him standing in front of her in the Potions classroom, looking fretful about something, before closing his eyes in concentration and transforming into a grey rat. Knowing what she knew about him and his mates, Lily didn't doubt for a second that he would not care about breaking the law to become an unregistered Animagus. What Lily did not understand was how and why did he do so.
Peter Pettigrew could be called many things but brilliant wasn't one of them. And only a brilliant wizard could complete the long, arduous process of skilled transformation, even more while still at school. The only example Lily could think of was Professor McGonagall, who was taught by Professor Dumbledore himself when she was only seventeen years old. But Professor McGonagall was an exceptional witch, a genius of Transfiguration. Pettigrew wasn't.
James Potter and Sirius Black were.
The more she thought about it, the less likely it seemed that Pettigrew would be an Animagus without his friends knowing, and, Lily was sure, without them participating. Potter and Black were at the top of their year in Transfiguration. It was the only subject, perhaps together with Defence Against the Dark Arts, that they surpassed Lily in achievement. She never questioned it, regarding it as their stubborn attempt to find yet another way to annoy Professor McGonagall, a personal hobby of them.
But knowing what she knew now about Pettigrew, it planted the seed of doubt in Lily's mind. What if they were all Animagi? What if Potter and Black became one themselves and helped Pettigrew to become too? It seemed much more logical than accepting that Pettigrew had accomplished it all by himself. Although it still sounded almost impossible that seventeen-year-olds – hell, maybe even younger – managed to pull off that kind of advanced magic, it was more reasonable to think Potter and Black were the ones who had done it. Sitting on her bed day after day, eating cookie after cookie, Lily thought back to Potter's skills and Black's sharp intelligence.
Yeah, that sounded almost believable.
But why would they do that? That was the question that was plaguing Lily round the clock. She knew they were likely biologically drawn to trouble, which was the only explanation for the hellfire they brought to Hogwarts all these years, but even that was going a tad too far. The possible consequence for their misbehaviour this time wasn't only detention and lost points, it was literally Azkaban. Although Lily did wonder up to what extent was it credible to assume that two rich Purebloods would actually be held accountable for their shit, it didn't explain why would they risk so much for such a secret. And why would Pettigrew risk so much, being a not-so-rich Half-blood himself.
The fact that it was a secret kept under lock and key made it even more implausible that they would go to such lengths just for the sake of breaking rules or carrying out a mischief. The why behind it all didn't add up in Lily's head.
Until she remembered the Marauders were made out of four boys and not three.
In all her musings, Lily only focused on the personal traits and abilities of Potter, Black and Pettigrew. She knew Remus wouldn't be an Animagus because he was already a werewolf. Aware of his condition, Lily quickly discarded it as not relevant to her ponderations.
Then it hit her, when she was comfortably sitting between her parents in the old family sofa, watching Doctor Who on a Sunday evening in the last days of July. She gasped so loudly her half-chewed pizza fell from her open trap and her parents jumped scared next to her. She excused herself, feigning an urgent forgotten assignment, and ran upstairs to stare at herself in the mirror while going through the epiphany in her head.
Remus' condition wasn't a reason to not factor him in on the boys' decision to become Animagi. And it didn't just factor in – it was the whole reason for it.
It made absolute sense. The four boys were ticker than thieves, glued to each other since they first met in September 1971. There was no way they did not know about Remus' lycanthropy – if Lily had figured out all by herself in fifth year when she noticed him unavailable for rounds during full moons and extremely debilitated the following days, the blokes who shared a dormitory with him and spent every single awake second in his company would have definitely figured out years before. When they did figure out, it wasn't hard for Lily to imagine their young, reckless selves itching to do something about it. If they needed a reason to break the law, being able to be there for Remus when he wandered alone once a month in his transformed nature was a damn good one.
And that's why they were always gone together with Remus in the full moon. They would transform into their animal form and keep the werewolf company.
Staring back at shocked emerald green eyes, Lily recalled their particular dynamic - always so loud when interacting with fellow students, expansively planning public pranks and giving open demonstrations of their shenanigans. And, yet, when it came to personal matters, they became tight-lipped in the flash of an eye. It was easy to see how bloody reserved around people outside their group they were, becoming uncharacteristically discreet, almost mysterious. She'd normally assumed they wanted to play hard to get, to look cool to the rest of the castle, pretending they were somewhat important. She'd always assumed the worst, of course. She knew now it was all self-preservation.
If she needed a confirmation, there it was. She had no idea who those boys really were.
She finally heard from Cassandra somewhere half August. Her beige Ural owl impatiently knocked on Lily's window at the end of a sunny afternoon, carrying a thin parchment containing Cassandra's announcement that her trip was over and that she was stopping by the very next day. By then, Lily missed her friend dearly, as much as she missed contact with any part of the Wizarding world. Elizabeth and Marlene had owled her a couple of times during the summer, but Lily knew how busy they were with their Pureblood families and social gatherings, so she hardly expected to hear much more from them before the beginning of seventh year.
Lily also looked forward to tell Cassandra the news. Not relating to her decision to drop Herbology. She didn't look forward to that conversation, but she had just received her Hogwarts letter the week before. And together with it, her Head Girl badge.
Lily always knew that this was not only a possibility but actually a very likely thing to happen. She had the marks, the proper behaviour, all the right traits. She had worked hard the past two years, and maybe even longer, to become Head Girl material. She took care of herself, keeping healthy and well-structured routines, she learned how to deal with pressures and expectations, she stood for what she believed in, unafraid of reprisals, and she had a brain to accompany it all. It was exhausting, but it seemed to have paid off. If she managed to fulfil her new task well, she would be halfway to secure a spot in Auror training.
First thing Lily heard Monday morning was the very annoying sound of the bell going off. Between her nonsensical grunts about being so rudely woken up, she remembered the less than annoying meaning behind the noise. Springing from her bed, Lily rushed from her semi-awake state, pyjamas still on, unbrushed teeth, down the stairs, yanking the front door open and jumping on top of her visitor. Cassandra was so tanned her already chocolate-coloured skin was now the darkest shade of brown, and her curly hair was styled in afro puffs. She had the biggest grin in her face and Lily missed her so much it physically hurt.
Lily barely gave Cassandra time to greet her parents before she dragged her up to her room, promising her sniggering friend she would brush her teeth in the meantime, before they started catching up. Making use of the bathroom in the corridor that she shared with Petunia, Lily quickly changed from her sweatpants and loose t-shirt to shorts and a tank top. She returned to her bedroom, all fresh and clean, ready to lay it all out for Cassandra.
- Oh my god, Lily, you put on some weight!
Whatever Lily was planning to say flew out of her mind in the same instant. She flushed from head to toe.
- Oh, really? Is it that much?
- No! I mean, it's noticeable but... Lily, you look great. It really suits you, I swear.
Lily felt abashed. She just remembered how much she ate during the school holiday, which was a lot. Thinking back now, every time she felt conflicted about something or too lost in thoughts, which was basically every single day of the past weeks, she consoled herself with some nice pastry or salty snack. She hadn't even noticed the effects on her body until now, when Cassandra so subtly brought it up to her.
- I mean it, love. Don't take it the wrong way. You look, eh, well, you look rather fit.
- Thanks, I guess. I hadn't notice I was eating so much, but it makes sense. It's been quite a stressful summer, Cassie.
She forced then an exaggerated sigh out, as if to impart to Cassandra how hard her life had been, and to make her feel guilty about her little comment. It worked. Cassandra immediately frowned, lips pursed in sympathy. Lily suppressed a self-satisfied smirk.
- I'm so sorry, love. Tell me all about it, how've you been?
Lily didn't tell her about her discoveries. She wasn't really sure why, considering Cassandra was her best friend and she trusted her with her life, but Lily felt the gravity of the topic holding her back. It was not her secret to tell. Especially with regards to Remus.
She told her, instead, about her final decision of becoming an auror. She mentioned her recent subscriptions, how she'd learned about magical jurisprudence and the history of Auror Combat, how she ordered the book The Dark Arts Outsmarted and finished it in two days, how she'd already compiled a list of purchase for her upcoming visit to Diagonal Alley, going much beyond the mandatory and recommended literature list.
Cassandra listened to it all with a slight crease between her brows, tight lips. She watched Lily carefully, following her excitedly moving hands and expressive face movements. Lily wasn't sure what was going through her mind but she knew she would find out soon enough. Cassandra was as sincere as she was stubborn. Lily just needed to anticipate her.
- And, of course, all the books of Miranda Goshawk. It's a must have, you know that - she said, before pausing briefly, calculating the right moment and way to deliver the news, in order to garner the desired result. Lily ran a hand through her unusually long hair, shrugging her shoulders in a faux attempt at modesty, which she knew Cassandra would pick up immediately. She looked up to her friend through her eyelashes, sweet smile in her lips, and added - Also A Guide to Becoming the Best Head Students of Hogwarts. I reckon it would be very useful for me, too. You know, since I'm the new Head Girl.
Cassandra shrieked so loud Lily was certain she had awakened her neighbours. Though it was already half past ten, as Lily noticed, absently remembering that not everyone was a morning grouch like her. Her neighbours, stuck-up larks they were, were probably already up and about for hours. Still, Lily worried her mum would barge into her room, alarmed by the strident sound coming out of Cassandra's mouth.
- I fucking knew it! I fucking knew it! - Cassandra all but shouted. - Why did you take so bloody long to tell me you made Head Girl? It should've been the first thing out of your mouth when you saw me, you surreptitious cow!
Lily laughed, delighted. Her friend might be stubborn and difficult at times, but she was also very genuine. She was always true. And there for Lily, first and foremost. The least Lily owed her was honesty.
- Well, Cassie, I needed to find the right time to give you good news when I just told you some bad ones. - Lily stopped to give Cassandra time to process what she was saying. She lurched forward and clasped her friend's hands between her own. - I know we don't see eye to eye when it comes to our role in the stupid circumstances of the world right now, but I hope we can learn to deal with our differences without them coming between us. Because you're my best friend and I love you more than anything, and I know deep down that you will support me whatever I choose to do.
Lily looked into Cassandra's beautiful brown eyes. She saw there that she had said the right things. She'd won, for now. Guessing from the still present sparkle behind her friend's gaze, Lily added -
- And you know if I ever got an office job I'd never exercise again in my life, so I need to find one that will force me on my feet!
Cassandra chuckled and Lily knew she chose the right cute line.
- That's for sure, Lilybeans. Look at what already happened with you, staying a few weeks trapped inside your room, having nothing to do but read and eat. You definitely need to be forced to be outside, exercising, otherwise you'll explode in no time.
- Hey, watch it! No fat shaming in this house.
- I'm not fat shaming you, I'm sports shaming you, which you deserve.
- Yeah, well, I suppose I do. But now that you're back I was hoping we could drop by the beach at some point or go to your pool house. I'm so white I'm afraid sir Nicholas will invite me to one of his Halloween parties thinking I'm a new Hogwarts ghost.
- Yes, that sounds about right. Let's do it! How about this next Friday? When are you planning on going to Diagonal Alley?
- This weekend. I also need new robes, though I'm not sure how much money I'll have left after I spend it all with the list of books I want to buy.
- Ha. Only you, Lily. Preferring to spend your limited money on books instead of clothes. Very Head Girl material. By the way, do you have any idea who's the Head Boy?
- Not a clue. Though I'm not very fussed about it as long as it's not Severus.
- Yikes. God forbid it's him! Maybe it's Lupin. Or that Ravenclaw bore, what's his name again?
- Thomas Shaw? Yeah, maybe. Could be Fawley.
N/A: I know this ending looks a bit abrupt, but I wrote the first chapters one after the other, so the second kind of builds up from the momentum of the first (and its end). Let me know what you think of it!