The games people play

by fvdv123

Old Guy's brother did the stupid thing and jumped in the Black Hole instead of going to the light. He ends up in seven-year-old Harry with a crappy game system. Self-insert as always, Harry/Multi later on... as always. This is a crack-fic, keep that in mind.

1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:

Mrs. J.K., Yep, Inspiration kicked me in the but again. No, I spend ten minutes looking at my screen, wondering what to type next… Meh, it fills my day, so I do this for free.

I am not certain if this counts as a crossover or not, I searched an hour for the appropriate category, and could not find one. So… you not like this? Buzz of dude. You like this? You are one with good taste, the best, the most beautiful, handsome… and if you are a guy… you are ok too.

Previous:

Nothing, it is the first chapter. There is another story: A frying pan did it. It is about the same old guy.

It begins the same though.

1 Don't jump in Black Holes!

You know, if you are on your deathbed waiting for the end… Yeah, breast cancer can you believe it? I didn't know guys could get that too. Unbelievable I know! I used to check my ex-wife regularly for it… I confess it wasn't always searching for nobs but what the hell? Then, when I found out, it was spread out too far, so amputating my breasts would not work. Those bastards did it anyway.

My stupid younger brother laughed his ass off when he heard I got 'titty cancer'… OK, he stopped laughing when he found out it was terminal.

Stupid fart felt guilty and visited me every other day. I heard he fell off some stairs and was in a coma in the next room. I laughed my ass off… I stopped laughing when I heard he can't survive when they pull the plug.

A professor did some experiments on my brother, that dumb ass donated his body to science. So here we lay… It did save traveling expenses for the family, you know two for the price of one. Anyway, I said my goodbyes to the kids and grandkids, the wife got lucky and found a better man ten years ago, yeah yeah, I can finally admit that. I am known to carry a grudge for a long, long time.

Where was I? Ah yes, deathbed, kids next to me, my other younger brother, my annoying sister... she got hit on her head with a Bible and is now nagging at me to go to the bloody Light. She can't stop nagging, she did it with mum too. Stupid Light.

WTF? There is a bloody Light! All those years I was arguing to sis over that Light and she is right? Hey, there is a Black Pit too… Let's avoid that one, I better not risk that. Though choices, Light or Dark… Aha! A Gray Light! I'll take that one. Nononono… It could be a trap! For all I know, there is someone on the other side ready to smack me with a frying pan!

Let us calculate my chances: I am not very religious, certainly not a bloody zealot, but not an evil one either. Yeah mainly because I can't lie. Honestly! Everyone can tell when I am lying. I tried to steal some candy in a shop and got busted. The wife asked me if a was faithful to her, a month later the divorce papers went through.

Where was I? Ah Light or Dark. You know, most religions have an exclusivity clause, You can't get in if you are not one of us. I have two options open, so I am in the right religion, or it is something completely different… …

Fuck it, I'll try the Black Hole. If it is Hell, maybe I will meet a Succubus. I jumped in the Black Hole.

Xxxxx

I woke up, feeling as if I was run over by a car. Believe me, I know the feeling, it happened once to me. A month in hospital and two to rehabilitate. A blue screen was floating in front of me:

Welcome to the game!

Current location: Harry Potter world!

Huh? This is like in those fan fiction where they get gaming powers and rise to level two hundred in a month. They wave a stick around and get sword skills, sitting on their ass for five minutes will get you Meditation. Hah! This will be too easy!

The game is set to Hard mode.

All experience and skills need 10 times more to advance.

What the bloody fuck? I did not ask that! I wanted it easy! What is next? Not getting starter skills, or even Observe?

User-selected to start without Bonus Skills and Observe.

The game setting changed to extreme hard mode.

Crap! What the Hell is wrong with that thing? I have to stop thinking, that thing, whatever it is, is fucking me over. Let us try to call my stats: "Display my character sheet."

Harry Potter

Age 7 level 0 (5%)

Skills: Cooking 30. Cleaning 20. Gardening 15. Martial Arts 5 (65) Locked. Construction worker 5 (95) Locked.

Abilities: Parseltongue.

Magic 75% locked

Gamers Body lvl 1 (20%)

Gamers Mind lvl 1 (20%)

ID Create/Escape lvl 1

… That's it? Others get five pages worth of stats and their description! Even a chatty AI! I looked around a Cupboard under the stairs with a smelly foam mattress, a small light bulb, and some schoolbooks. Let us first set some priorities, first escape this hell hole, with or without keeping the Dursleys alive. Then get to Gringotts and see if they can do something.

… … No skill gained: logic thinking? Anything? Memories flooded my brain of my time here. There was no bone-breaking or belting involved, just the regular starvation, neglect, and slapping. They carefully avoided leaving marks.

They worked me to the bone though, which explained the high Cooking, Cleaning, and Gardening. Martial Arts and Construction worker is from my past life.

I said: "Inventory!"

Inventory: Empty. 0 £ - 0 G, 0 S, 0 K

Angry I called out: "Fucking Extreme Hard mode!"

Vocally confirmed. Extreme Hard-Mode locked.

User can begin the Game.

Quest: Reach level ten, escape Privet Drive. Time limit: 3 months

Reward: Random skill, Failure: Death.

I started to bang my head against the wall. This stupid thing is trolling me. Suddenly the stairs were shaking and groaning, 2 heavy persons thundered downstairs. One yanked the door of my cupboard open and yelled: "Stop that racket freak! Come out and start breakfast."

My first reaction was to snark back at him, but my body hurt all over from his spanking yesterday. I came out of the cupboard, got to the bathroom to fresh up, and do my business. Breakfast was enough for five persons and one baby. I got the baby portion…

Aunt Petunia? She is hard to describe, bitter, doting on her boy, overdoing it to rub it in my face nobody wants or likes me. Dudley is profiting from this situation, noticing when he is bullying me he gets rewarded.

At the table, I watched them plow through their food, while I had some toast and milk. The two fat asses were making sure all food was finished. It was an endless circle, I tried to cook some more to get some scraps, they get fatter by eating it all.

It is the start of the summer holiday, Vernon took off to work, Petunia gave me hours' worth of chores and left to gossip with the neighbors. Dudley went to out see his friends.

Now… I am not a seven/eight-year-old boy… I am an angry pissed-off man with a crap gaming system. I went to the attic and searched it for some treasure. I found my mother's trunk, and the basket they dropped me in here. It all went in my inventory.

Next, I searched the bedrooms, Petunia had a dildo hidden under her mattress and some male underwear catalog. I found some cash and jewelry, all disappeared in my inventory. No, I took not the dildo. After my search, I had found the letters from Dumbledore, and bank receipts for supporting me, I torched the place. From top to bottom, I set the place on fire, ripped the gas tube loose from the kitchen stove, and left the house.

Xxxxx

Mrs. Fig's house was down the street, I knocked on the door when she opened it. I asked: "Mrs. Fig, can I have some food please, I am so hungry…" Now, if that spy does not give me food… The fire brigade can do two houses.

Mrs. Fig looked at me with pity and let me in. She gave me a bloody toast and a glass of milk. Does she do this on purpose? Meh, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

I started some small talk: "Mrs. Fig, recently strange things are happening to me. Last month I changed the color of my teachers' wig blue when he was yelling at me. When Dudley and his friends were Harry hunting me, I suddenly found myself on the roof of the school. It was like magic. Uncle Vernon gave me a beating and yelled that freaks like me get IT beaten out of me. What is the IT that needs to be beaten out of me?"

Mrs. Fig choked on her tea, coughing she asked: "He beat you for that?" I nodded: "Every time something like that happens, I get beaten, and put in my cupboard under the stairs without food for two days." Mrs. Fig gasped: "Cupboard under the stairs?"

I nodded: "Yes, that is my room, a freak like me does not need more. Because nobody wants me. That is why they dropped me on their doorstep when my parents died in that car crash."

By now Mrs. Fig was in full panic mode. How did she miss all those signs? She knew they were not treating him well, but not like this! If the wizarding world knew she was spying on him and let this kind of abuse pass, she gets lynched.

Desperately thinking, she decided to report it herself. Dumbledore told her he visited the boy's house every two months. He could not have missed that. She went to her fireplace, and made a floo call to the DMLE: "Aurors! I want to report a case of child abuse!"

While Mrs. Fig was calling the Aurors, I regretted that I torched the place, destroying the evidence. I heard the fire truck approaching, sirens full out loud. The fireplace spitted two men and one woman out in red robes.

Mrs. Fig pointed at me and said: "This is Harry Potter, he told me just now that he is forced to sleep in a cupboard under the stairs, and gets beaten for accidental magic. That is why I called you." The female Auror approached me: "Is this true Mister Potter? Where do you live? So we can see it for ourselves."

Pretending to not know a thing I asked: "Are you Devils? You came out of the fire! Did you come from hell? I am not coming with you to Hell! Even when they all call me a freak!" Miss Auror: "No mister Potter, this is a magical way for traveling. Now, where do you live? Show me your house please."

Suspicious I looked at her: "Magic does not exist! Every time I say something like that my uncle beats me, and locks me in my cupboard." I better stop stalling or the house is burned to the ground. When we went outside I pointed to the house on fire: "That is my house! It is on fire! How is that possible?"

New skill: Bullshitting lvl 1

Fucking game. The Aurors changed their clothing and moved to the house, and started helping the firemen with silently extinguishing the fire. What normally was done in a half-hour, was done in ten minutes. The Aurors pretended to be police officers and inspected the cupboard under the stairs. Swearing, they found the mattress and the few broken toys I was allowed to have.

Now I only have to get to level ten in three months.

Xxxxx

The Aurors flood me to St Mungo's for an examination. When the word got around Harry Potter was here, several healers came to witness the examination, or rather gawk at me. The healer who was waving his wand over me got an angry expression on his face.

He said to the Aurors: "Years of malnutrition, stunted growth, no signs of inoculations, muggle, or wizards. His glasses do not match his eyes, and I need a curse specialist for his scar. There is something strange going on with his scar. And most of all, his magic is bound, with some strange drains on it."

The Auror responded, we better call the boss here, this is a high profile case. Miss Auror cast a messenger Patronus to her boss, she said: "She'll be here in a few minutes." I kept the public busy with questions: "What was that glowing dog? Why are you waving those sticks at me? What is a curse specialist? Am I in Hell? These devils took me in that green fire. Am I dead? Why do you all wear female dresses?" I started to hyperventilate and forced accidental magic to happen. Everything in the room started to float.

The healer put a calming spell on me: "Calm down mister Potter, you are not in Hell, you are in the wizarding hospital St Mungos where we treat all wizards in Britain. We are wearing robes, not dresses." I responded: "I am not a wizard! Don't say that or my uncle beat me!"

New skill: Acting lvl 1

Fucking game! A woman wearing a monocle came into the room. OK… it is fun to read about in the book, but to see it in reality? A monocle just looks plain out stupid. It better has some useful enchants on it. I was trying my hardest to get Observe activated, by looking at everything, trying to analyze it. This is Madam Bones, head of the DMLE.

Miss Auror explained to her: "We got a floo call from a squib Mrs. Fig for a case of child abuse. When we arrived she had Harry Potter sitting at her table. The way he behaved, he has no idea about the wizarding world. Several times now he stated that his uncle beats him if he even mentions magic. When we went to his house to investigate, the house was on fire, and the fire brigade was on site.

We helped extinguish the fire, it was clearly started at several places. Mrs. Fig stated that Harry Potter told her that his room is a cupboard under the stairs, we confirmed that fact. It was clear that it is used for years. we brought him here for an examination before we are taking further steps.

The report of the healer exposed more neglect and suspicious behavior from the boy's magical guardian. Read it yourself Madam Bones."

I whispered to the healer: "Is Madam Bones a witch?" He answered: "Yes Madam Bones is a powerful witch." I whispered: "Is she is a Necromancer? Raising skeletons from Boneyards?"

Madam Bones answered: "My family used to do this in the past, Mr. Potter. It is against the law today to do so." Crap… I was too loud. I hid behind the healer.

Madam Bones started: "Arrest both adults, see that their child can be put with relatives, if not, hand him over at the muggle child services." I pulled on the healers' sleeve: "What is a muggle? I don't like Dudley, but I don't want him to get eaten or something like that." This is fun!

Bullshitting lvl 3

Crap game. Madam Bones addressed me: "Mr. Potter, do you know something about the fire?" I hid behind the healer again: "I got sent without dinner in my cupboard after the beating my uncle gave me last night, this morning when I cooked breakfast, they deliberately did not leave some scraps for me to eat with my toast and my glass of milk. When I left the house I wished it went on fire. I did not know wishes were real."

Bullshitting lvl 5

Fucking game, tell me something I don't know! Man! This game is driving me up the wall!

Madam Bones asked her Aurors: "Could this be accidental magic? Connie, take young Harry, and go to child services and find out who Mr. Potters' magical guardian is. Robarts, go and take the statement of Mrs. Fig. Ask her how long she is living there. This is no coincidence, for a squib living there with a floo connection, there is more to it. Report back to my office. You to Connie."

Xxxxx

In the evening my Bullshitting was reaching lvl 15. I got the story told about my parents, Voldemort, death eaters, and the betrayal of Sirius Black. Even the grumbling about the imperioused death eaters that got away from Askaban. When they found out Dumbledore was my magical guardian, everyone got nervous. Vernon and Petunia were grilled on the roster, so was Mrs. Fig.

I got passed around like a hot potato, nobody wanted to take responsibility to shelter me, afraid Dumbledore would take offense. I mentioned being ok with sleeping in a tool shed if nobody wanted me.

Acting lvl 10

When Madam Bones heard me saying that when she came back from interrogating Petunia and Vernon, she exploded: "Mr. Potter you will be staying with me tonight." She looked at her Aurors: "Dumbledore is out of the country, send him an owl to report at my desk as within a week, or I have an arrest warrant out for him."

Xxxxx

We arrived at Bones Manor by apparating, I almost lost my dinner. I said: "I prefer the demon fire travel. Who invented this?" She grinned: "Percival Potter in 1258." I shot back: "Really? Why did no one improve it since? It feels horrible." Madam Bones smiled: "You get used to it. Come let me introduce you to my niece Susan. Addy? Call Susan please." That is one ugly creature.

I asked Madam Bones: "That Addy, what or who is that?" Madam Bones: "Addy is our house elf." I nodded: "You keep her in that pillowcase so she won't escape?" Indignant she said: "Addy is part of the family! She is not kept prisoner here! That pillowcase is her uniform. If we give her clothes that will mean that we cast her out of the house."

I looked at her wearily: "Can you honestly say there is no other way to get your house-elf in proper clothes? For example, tell her to make them their selves? Showing some models to choose from? Does your niece wear a pillowcase too? She too is part of the family."

Madam Bones was stumped, she never thought about it that way.

I said sadly to her: "I have to wear the cast-offs from Dudley, to let me know I am worthless. Just good enough to wear some rags."

Susan came down the stairs: "Aunty? Do you need me for somethi… Who is this?" Madam Bones gave Susan a hug: "This is Harry Potter he will be staying here with us for a while. The home he was living in was not fit for children at all." Susan got starstruck: "The Harry Potter is staying here with us? I have to tell Hannah!" She ran off to a fireplace, threw some powder in it, and placed her head in the fire. I looked at Madam Bones: "Is this normal? Why is she putting her head in the fire? What if her hair catches on fire?"

Madam Bones, weary from explaining every crazy invention from wizards to me said: "She is calling her friend Hannah, they can talk this way to each other without leaving the house." "Oook… not weird at all."

When I am finally alone in my room, I knew I shot myself in the foot. This place is warded! If I disappear in the dungeon, they will notice me disappearing from the manor!

Intelligence -1

Oh! screw yourself! I had to think about a solution. I have to convince them I can erase my presence from the wards. I better wait until tomorrow, I have to sleep the damage off me. Gamers' body needs an hour or two to recuperate… crap I am only lvl 1! That can be a good thing, getting better overnight is suspicious, even in the wizarding world. I got for the first time in six years in a real bed and fell asleep.

Xxxxx

I woke up when Susan crawled on my bed and sat beside me: "Did you sleep well, Harry? Aunty asked me to wake you up, and show you the bathroom. Addy put new clothes ready for you. Hannah wants to come over to meet you. Can she? Please?" "Huh? Can she who? What? How? Where am I?"

Susan giggled and repeated the questions: "Hannah really wants to meet you." I pretended to be confused: "Why would she want to meet me? Did she know me from before my parents got killed?" Susan explained: "You are famous! There are books about you and your life. We have them all. Hannah wants you to sign them all!" WTF? I am fucking seven years old and I need to sign books? I asked: "Susan, can you show me the bathroom please?" Eager to please, she showed me the bathroom and came along inside. "Hum, Susan? I need to pee. Can you wait outside?" A blushing redhead is resembling a tomato. She rushed outside repeating: "Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Chuckling I got ready for breakfast.

Xxxxx

At the table I asked Madam Bones about the books: "Susan said there are books about my life here. Do people find it funny that I had to sleep in a cupboard? Had to wear Dudley's old clothes, and almost nothing to eat?"

Susan gasped: "No! You lived in a castle with your best friends and your old mentor! You have adventures all the time!"

Madam Bones felt another headache coming up: "Susan honey, those books are make-believe. They are not real stories. Harry had a hard life with his relatives, that is the reason he is here. We took him away from there. Aunt Harriet will come over with Hannah to keep you company."

Dammed! I have only three months! Hard Mode is ten times more XP than normal. How is Extreme Hard Mode going to be? I even don't have a weapon!

Madam Bones said to me: "Harry? This afternoon we need to visit Gringotts to look at that curse scar, and examine that block." I nodded: "I'll be ready Madam Bones."

That morning I spent with two hyperactive fangirls and an aunty that had pity written all over her face. In the end, I hid in the library, a lot of books glowed, I took one in my hand.

Skill book found: Household Spells. Do you want to add the skill? Y/N

I selected no. I had to try it on one of Mum's books first. What if the book is consumed when learning the skill? I went to my room, took Mum's trunk out of my inventory, and opened it. The thing pricked my finger. There were a lot of books glowing, I took one.

Skill book found: Runes, Old Celtic. Do You want to add the skill Y/N

I selected Yes.

Your level is too low. So is your intelligence and wisdom.

I swear to God, Merlin, or whatever, that shitty game is smirking at me! I took another book.

Skill book found: Basic Meditation. Do you want to add the skill? Y/N

This time I learned the skill. The book lost its glow but did not disappear, I slowly went through the selection, everything with basic on the title was good, that fucking game was so messed up, I could even learn basic sexual positions.

Anyway, I learned Magic Theory, Wandless, Occlumency, Meditation, Etiquette, Potions, Runes, even Enchanting, Charms, and Transfiguration.

There is a letter from mum, explaining the contents of the trunk and why it was in the attic of Petunia's house.

Dear Harry,

You may ask yourself why this trunk is with your aunt Petunia. This is one of the measures we took to prepare for the worst. There is a prophecy about you and the dark wizard Voldemort, claiming you will be able to vanquish him. Somehow Voldemort heard about it and is hunting for you. Your father has his school trunk in your trust vault at Gringotts, only you can open it with a drop of your blood.

My trunk also opens with a drop of blood. We are afraid you will end up here when everyone is hurt or dead. When you are not here with Petunia, this trunk will portkey to your main vault on your seventeenth birthday, this letter will disappear and another will show. In this trunk is everything you need to know to graduate. Tips and tricks to survive this blood bigoted society. Most important the wizard etiquette.

The wizards have kept their customs alive since the middle ages. Meaning marrying before seventeen, arranged marriages, those two customs you need to watch out for. A smile at the wrong time can get you in trouble.

We stated in our will you are allowed to marry who you want. Don't get tricked, some mothers are fanatic to get their daughters a good match, and do almost anything to achieve it.

James locked the manor to prevent its destruction, and moved in our cottage Dumbledore is going to cast the fidelius with Peter Pettigrew as secret keeper, and Sirius Black as a decoy.

I know it is uncle wormy and Pa'food, but it needs to be written down for security.

I sincerely hope that all these preparations are not needed, and we can laugh about it when you are seventeen.

We love you a lot, now and in the afterlife.

Lily Rose Potter nee Evans.

God dammed! Another shot in my foot! If I show them this letter, how do I explain how I got it out of the house? Along with the trunk?

Wisdom -1

Shit! At this rate, I am going to be a drooling moron! Torching that place felt so good, but I am paying dearly for it. I'll ask Madam Bones to visit the house, and pretend to get the letter out of my cupboard, I had a secret hiding spot. Meh, I make something up when I am there, ill start meditating and practice Occlumency.

Xxxxx

Madam Bones took me to Gringotts, weary I looked at the guards, those dudes are armed to the teeth! Madam Bones addressed a teller: "Good day Teller, we have an appointment with curse breaker Sharpclaw. Can someone lead us to him?" Teller pushed a button, and we were escorted to Sharpclaw.

Sharpclaw asked: "Madam Bones, what do you need my services for?" Madam Bones pointed at me and said: "Mr. Potter has a curse scar on his head, his magic is bound for 75% and has some kind of drain on his core. Can you analyze it and if possible remove it all?"

Sharpclaw took a mean-looking dagger and started waving at me, with a reflex I got in a fighting stance. A dagger so close by is disturbing. Sharpclaw grinned at me: "Relax little warrior, this dagger is for analyzing, I use axes to fight with." The tension left me: I asked: "A single blade or double-bladed ax?" Sharpclaw shrugged: "I am good with both." I nodded: "Single blade for one on one combat, double blade for the battlefield."

Surprised Sharpclaw looked at me: "That's right! How did you learn that young warrior?" I answered: "I hide from my cousin a lot in the library from the day I could read, I loved the stories about Vikings."

Bullshitting lvl 16

Sigh… Anyway, when his dagger reached my scar, he began swearing-in… Goblins? Gobelybogely? Meh, who cares what their language is called. Sharpclaw glared at Madam Bones: "Explain to me why a child has a Niffler be dammed Horcrux in his scar? His magic core has a drain to blood wards, and there is a blood tracker on his core too. He has a mail block and a ward against house-elves. It is a surprise he can do accidental magic at all! I need assistance to remove it all. It is a dangerous procedure. And expensive."

I pulled at Madam Bones's sleeve: "Madam Bones, I don't have any money! Aunt Petunia always said my parents were very poor." Sharpclaw grumbled: "Dragon shit! Your parents were well of. Not filthy rich, but in the top thirty of wizarding Britain. Madam Bones, you best take this young warrior to the Potter account manager when we are done here."

An hour later, I sat in front of my account manager. He introduced himself to me: "Well met Heir Potter, my name is Blooddagger, what can I do for you today?" I said: "Pay Sharpclaw for removing a Horcrux from my scar? And for… What were those other things called Madam Bones?" Madam Bones presented a parchment to Sharpclaw.

When he read the paper he said to Madam Bones: " I lock all vaults down and issue new keys. Any redraw from his trust vault will be reclaimed with heavy penalties. Madam Bones, House Potter is under attack! Dumbledore blocked the will, make sure the will is read. This whole case stinks like dragon dung."

Xxxxx

When we left Gringotts, I asked Madam Bones to visit Petunia's house, for some personal stuff I left behind. She said: Connie will take you there tomorrow morning. It is time for dinner, let's go home."

Susan was at Hannah's place, after a quiet dinner I went to my room. It was time to train Amelia. I sat cross-legged on my bed and closed my eyes.

ID Create! Select Dungeon: Empty – Zombie I selected the Empty Dungeon. When I entered it was the same place as here. ID escape! I came back to my room sitting in the same position. Amelia came storming into my room: "Harry! Are you alright? You disappeared from the wards!"

I looked puzzled at her: "I was meditating Madam Bones, I do this all the time, I wanted people to not see or find me. So I closed my eyes and wanted that I was invisible. I read in a book it was called meditating. It helps against bad dreams. When I do it even Dudley could not find me."

Bullshitting lvl 17 Acting lvl 11

Bite me! Madam Bones asked: "Can you show this to me?" I nodded, closed my eyes, and gave the mental command: ID Create Empty Dungeon. I went inside for a couple of seconds and came back out.

Madam Bones was speechless! I did completely disappear! I timidly asked: "Madam Bones? Can you keep this a secret? I don't want anyone to know."

Amelia came back to her senses: "Where do you disappear to Harry?" Hmm… I better keep her as a friend: "Sit next to me and take my hand, maybe I can show you." She took my hand, I closed my eyes, with a mental command: ID Create Empty Dungeon. We went into the dungeon, small details showed it was not the real world, there was no sunlight or shadows. Amelia called her elves, with no response.

I remarked: "I am used to sleeping in this world, it is better than that cupboard, I found a nice soft spot and sleep for a couple of hours before I had to come back. I can only stay five hours here at a time.

We wandered through the house, there was only furniture, no books or items. We returned to the real world. Amelia said: "That is an amazing gift Harry, and you are right, we better keep this a secret."

Wisdom + 1 Acting lvl 12

Meh, it worked. I said: "I want to sleep there a few hours and study there sometimes in the day. Susan and Hannah can be a bit much sometimes." Yeah, blame it on the kids.

At that moment Susan stormed into the room, saw us sitting on the bed, and jumped in her aunt's arms. She asked: "Aunty, can Harry play with us tomorrow? He was out all afternoon with you!" Aunt Amelia looked at me, I sighed and said: "I'll play with you both tomorrow, but you have to teach me about wizards. Can you do that?"

Susan cheered: "Of course you silly! We love to teach you! We are going to be strict professors, and you the smart student." If we were ten years older I would be very happy with that scenario, now, however…

Amelia smiled at our interaction and said to Susan: "Connie will fetch Harry to get some personal stuff from his old home tomorrow after breakfast. When he is back you can play all you want."

Xxxxx

When I was finally alone, I went into the empty dungeon, to try my new skills. The only useful skills right now were Wandless, Charms, and Transfiguration. I searched my trunk, and found a small potion knife… that won't stop a zombie. I will try to nick something from Vernon's tool shed tomorrow.

That left me with Charms, I went outside and tested what I could do. Basic Charms was up to third-year spells. Zombies are weak against fire I heard, so I practiced four hours of fireball spells, also incarcerous, and the bloody leviosa.

After I felt that my magic was regenerated, I put on Dudleys cast-offs and went to the Zombie dungeon. When I arrived I looked around, it was a city in shambles, with several zombies walking around. In my younger days… I played World of Warcraft with my son. You know, the old fart trying to find interest in the kid's hobby? It was a fucking hard game if you are a two-fingers-typing guy. But I did learn something: "Prepare first and don't lure more mobs that you can handle.

I looked around for a weapon, usually, in the starters area, there is something to begin with. An iron bar, the length of a baseball bat was a perfect weapon. I picked a pebble and threw it to a solitary zombie. Groaning the corps walked to me, I bound his legs so he fell on his face, I stood on his back and started to smash his head into a pulp. Five hits and I was done.

The loot was to cry for, some bone, not even a knut. I went on a killing spree, getting bolder and bolder. Binding them and smashing their heads was easy, I could do five zombies at the same time. My magic reserves must be big to keep this up. Anyway, after an hour all I had to show for was a pile of bones and 5 silver coins.

Before I left, I tried all the spells on my repertoire. I could change that iron pipe into an ax…

Wisdom -1

Yeah, yeah. I had to think about that first, I know! I left the dungeon with less than I came in with. Another lesson learned. I put the dirty clothes in my inventory and pulled them back out… They stay dirty! Dammed, all those bastards that get clean clothes, and I get them back dirty.

I went to bed, at least the bed is nice. Tomorrow we are going to start grinding the shit out of these zombies.