A/N: My first case!fic – I was inspired to write this story because of a throwaway line from my other story, Elsa, in which Dennis mentions that he becomes an Auror because of Colin's death, and that he was on the team that captured Dolohov (who I somewhat randomly pitched upon as Colin's killer). It made me think of the motivations a character could have to become an Auror – I always pictured that Neville, for example, would/could join to make sure the other two Lestranges were captured as a way of avenging his parents; but would leave once that singular goal was met. However, there would definitely be others who could join on for similar revenge-based motives; but stay on afterwards because they grow to love the work. Dennis was a bit of a convenient foil for me to explore the latter. It started out as a character study, but I really wanted to write a detective story, so this is a bit of both. It's kind of Dennis-heavy in the beginning, but that drops off as the story goes on.
The story is fully outlined and as of now, partially written. It starts off in a world-building sort of way, so the first six chapters (not including this one) cover character motivations and set up the pieces for a full-fledged case!fic. I'll be posting every week instead of all at once like I did for my previous story (shameless plug to check that one out too, please) because I want to make sure I'm able to post consistently!
I hope you enjoy, and please do review!
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You Know Who's last laugh – Followers freed by Ministry's own Runcorn
By Rita Skeeter, Special Correspondent
In a series of unsurprising events for anyone who has kept up with the news over the past year, the Auror Office have been left with egg on their faces once again. Just days after the harrowing events of the newly-christened Victory Day, our community's 'best and brightest' have allowed the followers of the recently deceased He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to slip through the revolving door that is the Ministry's holding cell, wands and all. A highly reliable source has informed this reporter that a certain Albert Runcorn from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement is considered the prime suspect in the case. "He didn't have the Mark. He had every right to be on Level Two. All we had on him was an unhealthy eagerness to cooperate with the previous administration, and that was two thirds of the bloody Ministry last year! What a load of [redacted] this whole [redacted] mess is!", Head Auror Gawain Robards was heard bitterly exclaiming to all and sundry in a pathetic attempt to excuse his own glaring faults in relation to last night's fiasco. For shame, Mr. Robards, children read this paper too…
The escaped prisoners are considered armed, dangerous, and should not be approached under any circumstances. Notable prisoners include former Ministry employees Corban Yaxley and Walden Macnair, as well as previously convicted Azkaban escapees Rabastan and Rodolphus Lestrange, Antonin Dolohov and a regrettably large number of others. For a full list of the prisoners as well as details about their alleged crimes, turn to page 4.
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Shacklebolt Shakedown – Expedited trials, lowered Auror training requirements!
By Dempster Wiggleswade, Legal Correspondent
In response to the calamitous events of 6th May, Acting Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt, who replaced Imperiused former Minister Pius Thicknesse scant days before the breakout, has announced stronger measures aimed at tackling the fallout.
For those readers who may have been living under a rock for the past few days, Tuesday saw several of You-Know-Who's followers, captured after the Battle of Hogwarts, escape from the holding cells where they were awaiting trial. A full list of escapees is reprinted on page 6.
Amongst the new measures announced by the Acting Minister are: expedited trials for the few that remain in custody or have voluntarily surrendered; special dispensation for Aurors to hold suspects for 96 hours without formal charges (up to 14 days with the Acting Minister's approval); and changes to the Auror Office's eligibility and training requirements. Effective immediately and for one year only, applicants need not obtain a minimum of 5 NEWTs to apply, and may demonstrate their proficiency through other means. Acting Minister Shacklebolt, in conjunction with Head Auror Gawain Robards, has also announced an indefinite revision of the Auror curriculum. Under the new regulations, the current three-year Auror training programme has been condensed into six months of intensive classwork followed by another six months of on-the-job training. The Acting Minister concluded his statement with the following quote: "The new programme will be carefully designed to ensure that there is no compromise in the skill set and training of our newly minted Aurors. We simply plan to bring the most valuable of learning tools in at an earlier stage: practical experience. The safety of Wizardkind is my utmost priority, and modernising the Auror programme will go a long way in achieving just that. I have just one thing to say to the followers of Lord [redacted] – there is no place in the Wizarding World for your brand of hatred and divisiveness. We will find you, no matter how long it takes. And we will deliver the justice that the families of your victims deserve. We are coming."
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Opinion: Has the Acting Minister's zero tolerance attitude gone too far? Do our Aurors not deserve proper training?
By Rita Skeeter, Special Correspondent
Magical Britain has certainly been having a doozy of a week. Early in the morning on the 2nd of May, a pitched battle between He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and the Chosen One drew to a close; with the latter emerging victorious (a rather suspicious turn of events, surely, an untrained seventeen-year-old runaway former Undesirable defeating one of the most powerful wizards of the century?). A flurry of resignations at the Ministry and arrests took up most of the day and the next before a mass breakout proved the earlier arrests an exercise in futility; and Acting Minister (for now, anyway) Kingsley Shacklebolt has found himself in the news one way or the other every day since, mostly defending various Ministry employees for their colossal ineptitude.
But blame must be apportioned fairly, and Acting Minister Shacklebolt certainly deserves a lion's share with his ill-conceived decision to stuff the much-depleted Auror ranks with underqualified applicants and poorly train them, to boot. There is rampant speculation that this sudden reversal of centuries of tradition – through an overly dramatic "zero tolerance" speech, nonetheless – may have been in order to allow The-Boy-Who-Lived to achieve his childhood ambitions of becoming an Auror without meeting the necessary prerequisites… after all, he is a 'close personal friend'. Naughty, naughty Kingsley!
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"I stand with the Minister - and so should you!" Harry Potter breaks silence with defiant pro-Minister speech, hints at political ambitions?
By Rita Skeeter, Special Correspondent
The country's most famous Auror-hopeful made a rare statement yesterday, wasting no time in capitalising on his overflowing coffers of political currency. Harry Potter, Boy Wonder and Saviour Supreme, gave a rousing statement defending his old pal, current Acting Minister Kingsley Shacklebolt; in a break from his usual modus operandi of keeping silent on political matters. Potter was spotted by this reporter (and countless others) in the Atrium of the Ministry, ostensibly to pick up his Apparition license, and stopped for a brief chat when asked about the allegations surrounding his old friend.
In a polished speech most unlike his typical gaucheness, Potter touched upon the usual buzzwords of 'unity', 'togetherness' and 'rebuilding'; expressed his support for the restructuring of the Auror Programme (of course you do, Harry, go on and fulfil your undeserved childhood dreams!); and stated his unwavering conviction in Acting Minister Shacklebolt's leadership, urging others to follow his lead and entreating the Wizengamot to cement the Acting Minister as full Minister of Magic. It's enough to arouse disbelief in even the most dim-witted Flobberworm – has being one of the newest recipients of the Order of Merlin, First Class so transformed the perennially mumble-mouthed Potter?
The drastic change in Harry Potter's public speaking skills is remarkable, suspiciously so; and many others seem to concur that this may be a sign of Potter's eventual political aspirations. Is this a favour amongst friends – endorse me now, and get your dream job along with the highest of Wizarding honours for you and your perhaps more undeserving friends; or is it a sign that the Acting Minister is just a puppet in the hands of Harry Potter, or, more sinisterly, the woman behind Harry Potter? This reporter smells a rat, perhaps in the guise of his former flame fatale, the intelligent and ambitious Hermione Granger, who bagged herself her own Order of Merlin First Class on Potter's behest, before breaking away from her usual pattern of ensnaring famous men with her Potions prowess and shacked up with Potter's forgettable best friend instead. Of course, this poor consolatory prize (a rather dismal Order of Merlin, First Class awardee himself – a sure-shot sign that nepotism is alive and well) might be Granger's way of getting back at the Boy Who Lived for reportedly seeing his best friend's sister… or is Ginevra Weasley the pawn paying the price for her brother stealing away the Hero's girl?
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The Curious Case of Potter's Testimony – Why does the Saviour of the Wizarding World defend the most heinous of You Know Who's Followers?
By Rita Skeeter, Special Correspondent
Yesterday marked the commencement of the Battle of Hogwarts Trials, a day packed with explosive revelations. Proceedings began with the trial of the now-infamous Malfoy family, who raised eyebrows by formally surrendering their wands immediately after the Battle. An admission of guilt all but secured, all that remained was to see what sentence would be carried out… would it be the maximum possible, life in Azkaban? Or was there a reprieve in store for the Malfoys, one that would shake the Wizarding World by its very foundations?
Reprieve, indeed. For the star witness for the defence was none other than Harry Potter, Order of Merlin First Class Holder, the Saviour of the Wizarding World, the Dark Lord Vanquisher, the Chosen One. Many such plaudits have been heaped on his skinny shoulders over the past decade and a half, none more so than in the last month or so. Running his hands nervously through his unkempt hair, Potter spoke stumblingly but with conviction. Parts of his testimony were sealed even from the court reporters, such as myself, which raises even more questions about what it is that Potter is hiding; aided and abetted by the Ministry itself? Can we truly believe that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had met his match in Potter, or are there more layers at play?
Back to the events of yesterday, however, and even the bits that remained for public consumption are juicy enough to chew on! "I do not like Draco Malfoy, and anyone who went to Hogwarts with us can attest to this fact," was Potter's opening statement, though his personal view of the Malfoys can hardly be considered testimony in anything but the court of public opinion (for Potter's full statement, turn to page 2). He goes on to detail how Draco Malfoy was blackmailed by You-Know-Who, under threat to the lives of his parents and himself, to find a way to allow the Death Eaters into Hogwarts castle and assassinate the late Professor Dumbledore. Mysteriously, that night, Dumbledore would indeed die, but Potter claims it was at the hand of ex-Headmaster Severus Snape, the then DADA professor at Hogwarts. It doesn't stop there however, with Potter claiming that Snape was on the side of the Light all along – having murdered an allegedly cursed and dying Dumbledore as a favour amongst friends, and crediting Snape with a host of other good deeds. With friends like that, who needs enemies?
Moving to the year previous, Potter touches upon his harrowing capture, due, as he all but puts it, to his arrogance and ineptitude regarding the Trace upon You-Know-Who's name. You-Know-Who had converted Malfoy Manor into his base of operations, which is a glaring red flag in this reporter's opinion; but the Wizengamot disagrees: Potter had an answer for that too, stating it was under duress. Upon capture, the Junior Malfoy was presented a disfigured Harry Potter, his face hexed into unrecognition, and failed to give him up to the other Death Eaters – hardly a monumental effort, given the hexing, but I digress.
His most controversial statements however, pertained to the icy Narcissa Malfoy, still blonde and beautiful despite her advancing years. Potter made much of 'a mother's love', claiming that Malfoy made it possible for Potter to get the drop on the Dark Lord, lying to him at great personal risk in order to find and rescue her son. Some of the events were redacted for 'security reasons', but Potter's emotions were on full display. It definitely makes one wonder if Potter's touching testimony would have been delivered with as much pathos if she were less attractive… and whether rumoured Chosen Girlfriend Ginny Weasley's twisted, tortured expression in the gallery was meant for Lucius, Draco or Narcissa…
Unsurprisingly, as the day drew to a close, Harry Potter got his wish: Narcissa and Draco were spared jail time, simply saddled with a probationary Trace and fines the Malfoy coffers can easily fulfil; and Lucius got off lightly compared to his other Death Eater pals, with a sentence of ten years in Azkaban. All that remains to be answered is why. Why does the so-called Saviour of the Wizarding World want to spare Marked Death Eaters from their justly deserved fates? Why is he posthumously protecting a man who murdered the revered but balmy Albus Dumbledore (as chequered as his past may have been)? What is Potter's plan, and how does this impact the Wizarding community at large? Perhaps it is time for a thorough investigation into perfect Harry Potter, the man who (in the eyes of the public), disturbingly enough, can do no wrong…
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The Chosen One's Chosen One: Revealed
By Betty Braithwaite, Reporter
With a face that could launch a thousand Quick-Quotes Quills and a tragic backstory fit to tug at the heartstrings of the crotchetiest of grandmothers, Harry Potter is probably the most eligible bachelor in all of Wizarding Britain today. Unfortunately, ladies, the man is apparently taken. The Chosen One has been spotted with Ginevra Weasley several times over the summer: during rebuilding efforts at Hogwarts, sharing a Butterbeer pint at the Three Broomsticks, testifying at the Trials, and of course, staying at the Weasley family home for months on end. But the rumours have finally been confirmed – Harry Potter was spotted kissing Ms. Weasley on Platform 9¾ yesterday before seeing her off for what is reportedly her final year at Hogwarts. Sources have revealed that the pair were in a relationship for part of the year previous before calling it off prior to Harry Potter's year on the run.
So, who is Ginny Weasley, as she apparently prefers to be called? Most scandalously, she is Harry Potter's best friend's sister; and is also seemingly close friends with Hermione Granger, who allegedly dated both Harry Potter and Viktor Krum in her Hogwarts years before settling into a (very new!) relationship with Ron Weasley – Ginny's brother; though both Harry Potter and Hermione Granger have denied any romantic relationship between themselves. Described by her classmates as a 'reasonably pretty' girl, rather popular with boys, Ginny Weasley seems like your average redheaded teenager, albeit one clearly special enough to win the heart of the Saviour of the Wizarding World.
Is it her looks? While pleasing to the eye, Ginny Weasley seems to eschew all attempts to play up her features, sporting a raggedy jumper over faded trousers at the Platform, tomato red hair pulled carelessly into a messy ponytail. It may well be her athleticism – the pair reportedly played on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team together for a year. Or perhaps it has to do with her own rather heroic endeavours over the past year – it is alleged that she played a significant role in the underground resistance movement that is rumoured to have existed at Hogwarts in the past year, a movement whose existence cannot be confirmed nor denied at this stage. Certainly Ms. Weasley, still underage, fought at the Battle of Hogwarts this past May. A special teenager indeed!
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The Auror Office Strikes Back – Escaped Death Eaters Crabbe and Macnair Back in Custody
By Dempster Wiggleswade, Legal Correspondent
Escaped Death Eaters Vincent Crabbe Sr. and Walden Macnair have been apprehended in a spirited clash early this morning between members of the Special DE Capture Task Force and the fugitives in question; after eight months on the run.
A statement by Head Auror Gawain Robards has been provided to the Daily Prophet and has been reproduced here:
"Eight months of effort have culminated in the first of what we expect to be many arrests. At a quarter past two in the morning, we received notice of suspicious activity around the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade. The Task Force mobilised and was there within minutes, and after several minutes of spellfire, the suspects were apprehended without any major injuries to either side. Credit is due not only to the unceasing efforts of our Auror Force, but also to the common citizen through their provision of tips and anonymous information. To all the other Death Eaters out there, I provide not a warning, but a promise: we will find you. To the Wizarding community at large: thank you, for your trust and your support. If any one of you has any information pertaining to the followers of You-Know-Who, please owl the Auror Office. Tips will be considered completely confidential on request. Thank you all."
While other details of the capture remain elusive for now, reports from the Hogsmeade citizenry reveal that a group of Aurors, twelve strong, with three Auror-Trainees counted amongst them, were seen in the area. Crabbe and Macnair are said to have been found alone, however early reports do suggest that the Shack served as a meeting point for them, showing no signs of inhabitation. It is rumoured that Harry Potter was one of the Auror-Trainees present for the capture.
Crabbe and Macnair will be remanded in custody in Azkaban until court dates can be determined.
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A/N: Context setting and world building – my favourite things! Rita Skeeter is such a fun character to write – you just love to hate a good old-fashioned Poison Pen. Please do review – it does my wizened heart good ;) Also – I'm not British, so if I have made any glaring errors, please point them out to me and I'll go back and fix them!