Hi! :)

If you're reading this, then that means you clicked on the link to my little fic, and for that, I give you many thanks. This is my first time writing, so bear with me. It's going to take a few chapters before Levi comes in, but I promise he will make his presence as soon as possible. It won't be too dreadfully long, but I just want to build up Isa's character a little first, so I can get a feel for her and her friends before I bring in too many other characters. I want to carry this story all the way from the No Regrets era through Season 4, so it's going to be a long ride, and I'm going to do my best to make it worthwhile...but this also depends on what happens in S4 since I haven't read the manga and barring a couple of spoilers (sadness) I have no idea what's to come.

In terms of ages, I just want to go ahead and clarify this now. I try to explain this throughout, but just in case I don't do a good job:

- At the start of training, Isa is going to be 16, making her 19 at the end of training. Reasons for why she starts so late will be later explained in the story.

- When Levi makes his appearance, he's going to be around 24. I had trouble finding a set in stone answer for his age, so I'm going with he's 34 in season 4, which is the year 854, hence 24 in 844. And we're just going to roll with that. :)

- With Hange, I'm going to have her aged at 14 at the start of training, and then 17 at the end of training, just so that way Isa has a friend relatively close her age. I couldn't go too in depth with research into her age (or Levi's if we're being honest), just because I haven't read the manga, and research is hard when you're trying to avoid spoilers.

An additional note, this is Book 1, in a series of 3 books. The overall series is called Of Sins and Devils. Starved is completed, and I'm currently working on cross-posting from Ao3. It might take me a bit, because there are currently 43 chapters I have to cross-post. Once I've finished posting all the chapters, I'll begin posting chapters for the second book, Deserved, which is currently in the works.

I'm going to preface this fic with the following:

This fic will contain the following:

- Violence

- Eventual Smut

- Depictions of Child Abuse

- Scenes of Sexual Assault

I will directly state at the start of a chapter if it includes sexual assault scenes or depictions of child abuse. These are the only things I intend to provide a Content Warning for.

Okay wow, enough rambling. On to the story. :)

She was the first to arrive on the training grounds, when the sun had barely broken the horizon. The morning breeze sent goosebumps across her skin and ruffled through the loose tendrils of brown hair that had fallen out of her braid during her run. Today was her first day as a cadet in training for Humanity's Military.

Her stomach fluttered as she thought of what was to come. Training meant to break the cadets, as they're molded into soldiers fit to be a part of one of the three regiments. People have died during training. Others have succumbed to the pressure and left. Some were kicked out when they couldn't keep up.

When the thoughts of what was to come threatened to overwhelm her, she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, basking in the rays of the rising sun, and the fluttering stilled. During the calmness of the morning, with no one else around, she allowed herself to enjoy the earthy scents around her, allowing it to fill her so that she felt nothing else but quiet contentment at finally starting the journey towards being free.

The voices in the distance from her fellow cadets grew louder, and the peaceful moment was broken.

Arms now crossed, she leaned against the fence and avoided eye contact with the cadets as they trickled onto the field. The longing that ached in her as she subtly observed the different groups of friends was quickly shoved away.

Remember why you're here. You're not here to make friends. There's no use in wishing that you could make friends. It's not going to happen. No one is going to want to be friends with you.

Shortly after, the head instructor arrived and promptly had them line up in rows with threats of fifty laps if they were not organized in ten seconds. Standing at attention, she stared blankly ahead as he walked up and down the rows, towering over the cadets, demanding to know why they were here.

Some cadets he skipped, and those he did stop at trembled at his presence. She noted that he walked past her, and as he moved on to another cadet, she overheard one of the trainers say, "the point of all this is to break them down, so that we can mold them into soldiers. The ones he skips have already seen too much."

Once the trainer made his way through all the rows, striking the fear of whatever deity exists into the cadets he confronted, he took his place at the front.

His cold eyes surveyed the cadets in front him. His voice reverberated across the training grounds as he said, "Your training begins now. Your training will focus on endurance, hand-to-hand combat, wilderness and basic survival skills, and omni-dimensional mobility gear training. Only the top ten are able to join the Military Police. I expect that a fourth of you will have either dropped out or been kicked out by the end of your three years here. The majority of that fourth will be gone in the first week. The first task of the day will be testing your capability of using ODM. If you fail this test, you will be dismissed. You will get two tries, a practice one today, and the official one tomorrow. If you are not able to balance tomorrow, you will be dismissed."

The group followed the trainer to a set of rather intimidating looking contraptions. Three poles angled to meet in the center had cords and wires hanging down in the center. As they approached the other assistant trainers began handing out belts to each cadet. They were called up one by one, connected to the cords, and then hoisted up by a lever. Few succeeded on their first try. Others flopped forward smacking into the ground within seconds. The majority teetered back and forth as they struggled to find balance but managed to keep from flipping.

Finally, it was her turn. Hands shaking at the thought of potentially wiping out in front of everyone, she wiped her palms off on her pants and approached the trainer. He clipped the hooks to the buckles on each side of her hip and nodded to the man at the lever. As the cords tightened, her feet left the ground. She was filled with a sense of lightness, as if she were weightless. Finding her balance was surprisingly easy, so she sat back a little, enjoying the feeling. It was over too soon as she was lowered back into the ground.

Once all the cadets had taken their turn, the trainer had them break off into groups and began running them through drills. First it was thirty laps. If you did not finish in two hours, you had to run an additional five laps for every five minutes you went over. She had to run an extra twenty laps that first day. Following the run were more exercises designed to break the weak of will, the faint of heart.

Hours later and the sun high in the sky, the trainer finally dismissed them for lunch. Her hands rested on her knees as her breath wheezed. Muscles twinging with each move, she made her way to the mess hall. Tuning out the chatter from the other cadets, she guzzled water, relishing as the cool liquid calmed the fire in her throat.

As she sat at one of the tables in the mess hall eating her lunch, she thought about trying to talk to one of the cadets sitting near her. Don't be ridiculous, they don't want to talk to you. Besides, it's not like you can contribute to the conversation.She cringed at the harsh voice.

After lunch it was time for combat training where they went over basics such as different punches, kicks, blocks. The trainer then split everyone off into pairs. She was paired with a brown-haired girl whose brown eyes appeared larger behind a pair of glasses. Squaring off, the girl towered over her, but then most people did. Earlier she'd noted that she was the shortest cadet in training.

She struggled to evade the series of punches glasses girl threw out. She couldn't find an opening to throw her own punch, so she spent the majority of the time dodging and ducking until she landed on her back with a hard "oof," as her breath was knocked out of her.

Frustrated, she quickly jumped up and dusted herself off. Over the next few rounds, she became well acquainted with the ground. She squared off again, face set, eyes focused. Biding her time, she waited for her opponent to make the first move. This time as her opponent threw the first punch, she ducked underneath. Turning in a burst of speed, she grabbed her opponent's ponytail, yanking her head forward. Taking advantage of her opponent's forward momentum, she kicked her opponent's feet back, knocking her face down. Wrenching the girl's arm behind her back, she had finally succeeded in her first pin.

"Wow, that was awesome" glasses girl said.

Focusing on the task at hand, she ignored the girl and squared off again. She rolled her eyes as the brunette bounced back and forth on her feet.

As she threw punches, the brunette blocked them once again with ease. This time she kept her punches high to draw her opponent's attention up, and then kicked out, sweeping her opponent's legs, and knocking her down.

"O-hoo, you got me good," the brunette giggled as she got back to her feet. "You won't get me again."

Fortunately, training was over for the day, and the cadets were dismissed for dinner. The knowledge that sustenance was near motivated each agonizing step.

"Heyy, wait up" she heard. She kept walking, assuming the person was not talking to her. Why would someone want to talk to you?

"Hey, I'm talking to you, wait for me." Pausing, she slowly turned. Running up behind her was the brunette she'd been sparring. Her eyes widened as she said, "me?"

"Yea you, who else would I be talking to?'"

"...Oh." she said and kept walking. Her heart rate spiked at the thought of making conversation. She honestly hadn't expected anyone to approach her, much less try to talk to her. She'd never really managed to grasp the whole concept of "friend making," or more so, hadn't had the opportunity to try making friends. The times she'd been around other girls her age, she'd always struggled with knowing if someone even wanted to be friends.

The other girl was practically skipping as the two girls made their way to the mess hall, "I just wanted to say you did a great job out there. It looked like you were struggling at first, but you did awesome at the end."

"Umm, thanks?" How she has any energy after this first day, I have no idea.

Grinning the girl introduced herself, "I'm Hange Zoe, what's your name?"

"Isa Tudor," she couldn't help but give a small smile back. Her energy was contagious.

Making their way into the mess hall, Hange kept up her chatter. "What did you think of the trainer? His eyes are kinda scary. I got chills when he got to me and wanted to know why I was here. I told him that I wanted to learn more about Titans. There's so much we don't know about titans, which really puts us at a disadvantage. If we could maybe learn another weakness, or maybe find some that can communicate, maybe then we'd be able to find out why they're here and why they do what they do…"

As the girls sat and ate, Isa was surprised at how nice it felt to have someone to…talk…to. Not that you could get many words in with this girl. She could actually see herself being friends with her. If Hange even wanted to be friends.

Maybe she just wanted someone to talk to while she ate. Who am I kidding, why would she want to be friends with me?

Regardless, she hadn't expected how easy it would be to make conversation. Maybe it was just Hange's gregarious personality that made it easy to talk.

"So Isa, where are you from?" Hange's question snapped Isa out of her thoughts.

"I'm from Mitras." It wasn't a complete lie, she'd lived in Mitras since she was seven. Where she lived before that and how she ended up in Mitras was irrelevant right now.

Hange's eyes widened behind her goggles. "Mitras, really? And you decided to join the military? That's not something you see every day?"

"Yea, I honestly hated it there, and I wanted to do something useful with my life." Again, not a complete lie, but she didn't feel comfortable sharing all her wishes and desires with someone she just met, even if she—surprisingly—did want to be friends with Hange. "Is that a problem?" Isa winced internally when her question came out harsher than she'd intended.

Sure, let's go ahead and drive off a potential friend from the get-go. Good job Isa.

Hange shrugged at Isa's question. "No, I could care less where you come from, I've just never seen anyone from Wall Sina, much less the capital, join the military. Usually people join the military because they want to join the Military Police get into Wall Sina, not to get out."

Isa scoffed. "Well when you've lived there and spent time around the spoiled nobles, you realize that there are better things to do with your time than worry about what you're going to wear for afternoon tea, and you'll do anything to leave."

Hange nodded. "Hmm fair point. So, what's it like in Mitras?"

Isa finished the last bite of her dinner before answering. "Well the people there are cruel, hateful, snobbish. They look down on everyone from the outer walls. They believe they are invincible because they are in the innermost walls." Isa thought of her caretakers, the people she'd been forced to live with, and how cruel they'd been to her. "They're greedy, vengeful bastards, who enjoy making the lives of those they consider beneath them miserable. I was lucky to escape." Isa's voice was harsh and unforgiving as she spoke of the citizens behind Wall Sina.

Hange's mouth was agape. Isa could tell the girl was not used to someone speaking so negatively about the elites who live in the capital. She was certain that most people Hange had grown up with had admired the lives of the citizens of Mitras, with their fancy clothes and fancy parties.

Isa had often overheard the maids that had worked in the house she'd been forced to live in speaking about how they dreamed of one of the noblemen sweeping them off their feet and whisking them a way to a better life. When she'd shared her desire to join the scouts, they'd scoffed at her, writing her off as insane.

"That's what I've always thought, but I've also never been around them, so I wasn't sure if I should be so quick to make that sort of judgment."

"Oh no, you're right to judge. Walls knows they do it plenty."

At that point, they had both finished their dinner, so they outside to the training grounds, and sat by one of the trees that lined the grounds.

After dinner, she and Hange walked back to the girls' barracks where they met some of the other cadets. Uma, an amiable redhead, though Isa had a strange sense that she wasn't as friendly as she seemed.

There were also two other girls, Lucy, a tall brunette, and Sherri, a short blonde, who were childhood friends from Trost. They'd joined the military in the hopes of making the top ten so they could join the Military Police and take their families into the safety of the inner walls.

Her days followed the same routine. Wake up, training, eat lunch, training, eat dinner, and then promptly collapse onto her bed in an exhausted heap while she and the other girls chatted about the day. There were other nights where Isa would go down to the stables where the horses were kept, and stay with the mare, whom she'd named Luna, she'd been assigned. She'd write in her journal long into the night, with the mare's calm presence for company.

The days flew by and before Isa knew it, the cadets were nearing the end of their training. Isa's skills had improved greatly since beginning training. She maneuvered with the ODM gear without any trouble, and for once, her size was on her side. Being on the smaller side made it easier for her to speed through courses and allowed her to make tight turns. She'd set quite a few records for completing the various training courses.

Isa was impressed with her friends and how they were faring in training. She could easily see all of them heading for the top ten. Hange was doing immensely well. Where Isa was sharp and crisp in her cuts and turns, Hange was more on the bouncy side, taking the time to have a little fun whenever she went in for a kill. She would always give a little cheer or shout when she would go in to slice the rubber nape of the titan dummies. Hange outshone everyone in the classroom, where the cadets were taught everything that was known about the titans. Hange always managed to ask questions that stumped their instructor.

Lucy and Sherri were doing well with hand-to-hand training. Even though it wasn't a part of their final score, it would ultimately give them an edge for whenever they joined the Military Police. The two girls were top of their class in ODM training.

The cadets were currently in the forest doing ODM training and had been split off into groups of three and four. They'd been tasked with working together to take down the titan dummies, no solo kills were allowed in this exercise. The instructor's reasoning was that their chance of success increases when they work together versus trying to work alone, especially as a rookie.

Currently Isa was grouped off with Derek and Hange, and she was grateful that Hange was in her group. Her friend was always able to help Isa keep her nerves at bay, which were always present when she was around Derek.

She couldn't deny that he was appealing to look at, with his blonde hair streaked by the sunlight and his warm brown eyes. Even though she found him physically appealing, for some reason, she also always got an uneasy feeling around him. Something inside her told her not to trust him, but she'd written it off as nerves because she'd never really been around an attractive boy her age before.

The trio approached one of the titan dummies. They had a routine at this point. One of them would act as a distraction, the other would slice up the rubber at the ankles or behind the knees, and then the third would taking the killing blow to the rubber on the neck. They rotated their roles as they made their way throughout the course. This was their last part of training for the day before the instructor would release them for the evening.

Once they finished the remaining Titans, the trio made their way back to the entrance of the forest where the instructor was waiting. Before dismissing them, he gave them a reminder. "Don't forget that tomorrow we'll be heading to Trost for the evacuation drill. You'll be assigned your roles in the morning. Dismissed."

At that, Isa made her way to the showers. She personally preferred to shower before dinner, so that she could change out of her sweaty clothes and eat comfortably. She never could understand how Hange could go so long without showering. Isa hated the grimy feeling that came from missing a shower for even a day.

After she finished, she met up with Hange who was waiting outside the shower room, and then made their way over to the mess hall. They grabbed their usual dinner of soup, a potato, and bread, and took their usual seat at a table by the window. They were soon joined by Lucy and Sherri. The four had become fast friends since they'd met at the start of training. They were all currently listening to Hange chatter away about Titans, when a fifth person sat down with them.

Isa was a bit surprised to see that Derek had joined them. He'd never really made an effort to talk to them outside of training, so she wasn't sure why he was now all of a sudden. When she met his eyes, there was that same odd glint in them, that made Isa's throat clench, but it was, again, gone within seconds.

Hange the extroverted being that she was, had no issues greeting the newcomer. "Hey, you did great today during ODM training. I feel like the three of us work great together as a team. I'm hoping they group us together again for this evacuation drill they're going to have us do."

"Hmm, hopefully so. This drill is going to weigh heavily on our final scores, so I'd prefer to not be with a team that's going to hinder my performance."

Isa had to hold herself back from rolling her eyes at the smug, pretentious bastard

They all chatted about the upcoming drills and looming graduation. At the mention of graduation, Derek asked the four girls which regiment they planned to join. Isa was not surprised at the fact that he didn't seem particularly happy that they wanted to join the scouts, not that she really cared. The disagreement didn't bother Isa, but Derek's next words set her on edge.

"Could you be any more stupid? Why would you want to join the scouts? You must have some sort of death wish! People who willingly want to join the scouts belong in a mental institution!"

Isa bristled at his venomous tone and judgmental words. "Who the fuck are you to judge? You don't know me, you don't know Hange." She didn't understand why she was reacting so negatively. It wasn't the first time someone had questioned her choice. Perhaps it was his tone of voice, the words themselves, or the fact that Isa always felt so uneasy around him. "If you want to disagree with our choices, fine, I don't care, but don't you dare belittle my intelligence just because you don't agree. Fuck off asshole."

The other girls watched in stunned silenced at the exchange. Never had they heard Isa so agitated. Isa had been confronted before about her decision to join the scouts, but she'd always managed to remain so calm and collected, choosing to explain her reasoning behind wanting to join the scouts. Hange didn't even protest when Isa grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the mess hall.

The two girls made their way to their usual spot by the trees. On the days they were able to, they both liked to relax there and watch the sunset after training. It gave them the chance to pretend that they weren't living in a messed-up world and only a giant wall separated them from giant man-eating monsters.

They sat in silence for a while until Hange spoke up first. "Hey buddy, you alright?"

Isa huffed and her brows furrowed. "Yea, I'm not sure why I got so bothered by his tone. I always feel more on edge around him, and I don't like the way he was talking about the scouts." Her voice began to rise again, and she started speaking faster. "If it wasn't for the scouts, we would be completely fucking defenseless. People like him just don't understand how fucking lost we'd be without them. They're more worried about living in fucking comfort and could care less about what happens in the future! I don't care if he fucking disagrees with me joining the scouts, but to insult my fucking intelligence and my mental stability is where I draw the fucking line."

Hange was watching Isa in stunned silence again. She'd only ever seen her friend ramble this much with this many swears on a handful of occasions over the last couple of years, and only when someone had truly tested her patience. Even then it hadn't been to this extent.

Isa drew in a deep breath, trying to slow her heart after her tirade. "Look let's not talk about him anymore. I just want to relax because tomorrow is going to be a long day, and I don't want to screw something up."

"Sure buddy, whatever you want."

The next day rolled around, and everyone was preparing to leave for Trost. Lucy and Sherri had decided they wanted to drop in and visit their families while they were there, and had invited Hange and Isa to join them.

Later that morning, the cadets were given their assignments for the drill. Isa was grouped with Hange and Derek, and they were given a section that they would be responsible for. They would need to clear out titans as well as make sure the citizens evacuate to the gate.

With that, they set off for Trost on their horses. Isa took her usual place by Hange, Lucy, and Sherri. She was a little irked that she was grouped off with Derek again, but it was nothing she couldn't handle.

The journey to Trost was uneventful. Isa listened to Sherri and Lucy as they chattered about their families and what it was like growing up in Trost. Both their moms had stayed home to raise their children and their fathers had worked. Lucy's dad worked as a baker, and Sherri's dad was a Captain in the Garrison. Lucy and Sherri had grown up in houses that were not too far apart, and they had spent countless days at each other's homes.

Their families sound so nice, I wish I still had that. I used to have that…I hardly remember what it's like now. I can barely remember my mom and dad's faces.

"Isa, are you okay?" Lucy had noticed the forlorn look on her friend's face.

Isa shook the depressive thoughts from her mind and she turned to Lucy. "I'm fine, I was just thinking how your families sound so nice."

Lucy gnawed on her lip, "Well my mom and I don't always see eye to eye. She still treats me like a child sometimes." Lucy laughed at the looks Isa and Hange shot her, considering the Lucy and Sherri, and the majority of the cadets were four years Isa's junior. "Okay, okay, I am technically still a kid, compared to you at least, but I mean she treats me as if I were five instead of fifteen. She didn't even want me to join the military, even though I told her I was planning on joining the Military Police. She tried to tell me that only the top ten get into the Military Police." Lucy rolled her eyes. "As if I didn't already know that."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, my dad felt the same about me joining the military and he's in the military. He told me that it's too dangerous for me." Sherri huffed. "I finally told him that it would I'd be safer joining the military, because then I'd be trained on how to take care of myself."

Isa laughed. "That's definitely a good point. What did he say?"

"I had actually stunned him into silence for a change, and I knew I'd won that argument." A smug look took over Sherri's face. "But of course, he basically forbade me from joining the Scouts. He said that they were nothing more than a bunch of lunatics who gave the rest of the military a bad name."

"I'm going to assume then, that I should avoid mentioning to him that I want to join the Scouts."

"Yea, it's probably best if you don't bring that up."

Laughing now, they continued their trek to Trost.

When they arrived at Trost, they had a couple of hours to kill before they were due for the drill, which gave the girls plenty of time to stop in and visit with their families. They left their horses in a stable by the gate, as neither of the girls' homes had a place to let the horses rest comfortably. The remainder of their journey would be traveled on foot.

Isa was in awe of the life bustling around them as they made their way through the streets in Trost. In Mitras, everyone was always so formal. The women would always wear ridiculously uncomfortable and expensive dresses for the simplest of outings. The men were always in suits. One could easily tell the difference between the elite nobles and the commoners simply by the way they dressed.

Isa could already see the difference between life in Trost and Life in Mitras. The people here looked happier, which was ironic since they'd tried to shove the belief that 'money is happiness' down her throat. The majority of the citizens here didn't have that look that said I'm better than you, that was worn by the vast majority of the Mitras population. Isa had always imagined it was tiring always thinking you're better than everyone.

From the time she was seven to the time she'd escaped, her caretakers had tried to force her to accept their ways. To mold her into a noble. But she'd fought and rebelled every step of the way. It was so refreshing to see normal people living and leading normal lives.

The women still wore dresses or skirts and blouses, but their clothes were geared towards functionality versus fashion. Most of the clothes were faded and worn in, but what struck Isa about their clothes, is that they looked comfortable, as they should be. She'd always hated the stiff dresses that left no room for any movement. The men also ported more comfortable trousers and shirts to the stuffy suits that were popular in Mitras.

Here the women did their own shopping rather than sending servants to do their work for them. In Mitras, most women wouldn't be able to shop for themselves if their lives depended on it. The men were also just as useless in the basics of life. Should they ever have to fend for themselves, they'd be the first to die. Isa laughed at the thought of the prim and proper nobles having to defend themselves. Of course, that would only be after they sent off their servants as sacrifices.

She watched as children played in the road. She envied their innocence and freedom. Hers had been taken from her as a child, and it's not something that can be given back.

As she walked, she failed to notice the child running from his mother right into her path. He bumped into her and fell over.

The other girls paused as they heard Isa say, "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. Are you alright? I should have been paying more attention. Here let me help you." Isa extended a hand to help the boy up and was stunned when he smacked it out of the way.

"I don't need your help." The gruff tone coming from someone so young took Isa off guard.

His mother caught up to him in time to hear what he said. She flushed at his rude tone and chided her son. "Jean-boy, apologize."

"Why should I? Because you told me to?" At that, Jean took off away from his mother.

The woman turned to Isa and her friends and had trouble meeting their eyes. "I'm…I'm so sorry about that miss. He's…he's a good child, he's just had some tough times."

Isa gave her a gentle smile. "Don't worry about it ma'am, we've all been at that age." The woman seemed like such a sweetheart she reminded Isa of…she cut off that train of thought as a pang jolted in her heart. I'm not going to think about her. Not here. Not now. I don't want to ruin this day.

The woman gave her a grateful smile before she turned to follow after her son.

The girls continued walking and soon arrived at Sherri's house. Sherri and Lucy had written their families in advance, so both families were there to meet them when they arrived. The two girls' parents raced out of the door before they'd even made it through the gate, drawing Sherri and Lucy into their arms for a hug.

As the girls were released, Sherri's mom was the first to speak. "Are these your friends?"

"Yes, this is Isa and Hange. We met back at the start of training."

"It's so nice to finally meet you. Sherri and Lucy have told us so much about you two in your letters. Please, come in, we know you can't stay long, but we made some tea and snacks for you girls."

As the group entered the house and walked into the living area, Sherri's dad was next to speak. "I'm glad that Sherri has been able to make more friends during training. I remember how gruesome training can be, and it helps to have people you can lean on."

Hange gave a friendly smile to Sherri's dad. "Thank you, sir, we've heard a lot about you. Sherri tells us you're in the Garrison. What's it like there?"

"Are you interested in joining? It's really nice for the most part, generally pretty quiet. We're usually working to keep the number of Titans surrounding the wall at a minimum. My squad and I are stationed at the gates in Shiganshina. I'm glad you showed up on one of my leave days or I would have missed the chance to see my little bug."

Sherri's face flushed at the nickname. "Dad." His name a long, drawn out whine at the embarrassment of having been called by the silly nickname.

Isa didn't think there was anything to be embarrassed of. She thought it was rather adorable that Sherri and her family were so close. She enjoyed listening to Sherri's dad tell stories of his time in training. It sounded as though him and his comrades were quite the rowdy troublemakers who kept their instructors on their toes. Isa never would have expected such a high-ranking officer to have been such a rebel in his youth.

Isa's heart warmed as Sherri's parents told them how they'd met. Their love for each other clearly burned as deep now as it did from the start. A pang of envy and longing hit Isa at the affection the two shared for each other, even after all this time, which she quickly shoved aside. I don't have time for that sort of thing, no matter how much I want it.

Lucy's dad often made trips to the Underground to give away bread to anyone who would take it. At the mention of the Underground Isa stiffened, and had to force herself to relax. Hange, the ever perceptive being, shot Isa a curious look at her reaction, but to Isa's relief, no one seemed to notice.

Hange was intrigued that she had finally met someone who had been to the mysterious Underground. Lucy's dad managed to answer all the questions she shot his way.

Isa enjoyed watching her friends' interactions with their parents. It was clear that the two girls were adored.

Before long, their time was up, and the girls needed to start making their way back to their instructors in the main part of Trost.

The girls said their goodbyes to their parents, who were reluctant to let them go, and made their way back out onto the streets of Trost.

As they walked, Isa was still in awe of the city. There were shops selling fabrics for clothes. Shops selling little homemade trinkets. Everywhere she looked there was something new to see. Simple jewelry that Isa found far more beautiful than the gaudy pieces sold in the capital. An antique shop selling gorgeous pocket watches. There was one shop that caught her attention more than any of the others.

"Hey guys, I know we don't have a lot of time, but do you mind if I stop here really quick? You don't have to come in, I just want to see if I can find some tea to take back with me."

Isa slowly made her way into the little teashop, and the smells of tea wrapped around Isa in a comforting blanket. She was sent back to nights early on in her childhood, with her parents. Her mom would always make her a cup of tea at night when she had trouble sleeping. She couldn't remember the name, but she was certain that she'd be able to recognize it by smell.

After several unsuccessful attempts, she sought out the shop owner, an elderly woman, with a weathered face.

"Excuse me ma'am, I was wondering if you could help me? I'm having trouble remembering the name of the tea I want."

"Of course, dear, can you describe it for me?"

She looked over her shoulder, and her friends were still outside the shop and that they wouldn't hear her. "Well, it was one that my mom used to make me when I was younger and had trouble sleeping. I remember it smelled a bit like apples, and tasted a little sweet, even without anything in it."

"Hmm, well that sounds a little like chamomile tea. Here deary, let me fix you a small cup so we can see."

"Oh you don't have to go through the trouble ma'am."

"It's no trouble at all, and please, call me Ethel."

"Alright, thank you Ethel."

Before Isa knew it, there was a cup of tea in her hands. The warm aroma of the tea brought tears to Isa's eyes. She took a sip, and was immediately transported in time.

A little girl hid under her blankets as she awoke with a scream from another nightmare. Tears streamed down her face as her heart pounded in her ears. There was only one person she wanted, one person she could find comfort in.

"Mama." Her trembling voice called out.

The curtain that sectioned off her makeshift room in her family's small apartment was whisked away. A woman with a soft face saw her trembling daughter and quickly lay beside her, drawing her close into her arms.

"Isa dear, whatever is the matter?"

"Nightmare," she said in a small voice.

Her mom tightened her arms around her. "Don't worry dear, it was only a dream."

Tears welling up in her eyes again, she choked out, "But it felt so real Mama. I saw you and Papa die, and I don't want that to happen."

A sigh escaped her mom's mouth. In a soothing voice she spoke to Isa. "I know sweetie, it's a scary thing." Isa's mom drew her closer, stroking her hand over Isa's hair. "But it's part of life. People live, and people die. All we can do is make the most of the moments in between and live life to the fullest with no regrets." No parent wanted to have this conversation with their child, but sometimes you had to do things you didn't want to in life.

Isa looked at her mom with wide and sorrowful eyes. "Do you have regrets Mama?"

"I do dear, but that's part of being human too. It's hard to live with no regrets. We live knowing that each action has a consequence, and we don't know the outcome until it happens. Sometimes, things just don't turn out the way we want them to. In life, you'll have to try to make the decision that you think you'll regret the least."

Isa snuggled closer into her mom's loving embrace. "I love you mama."

"I love you too dear. How about we get you a cup of tea?"

Isa perked up at that. She always felt better after one of her mama's special cups of tea, and it always helped her sleep. "Yes please." She finally smiled at her mom, the nightmare long forgotten.

Isa's hand trembled around the tea as the memory flashed before her.

"Dear, are you alright?" Ethel's worried voice brought Isa back to the present.

Something wet was on Isa's face, and it took her a moment to realize she was crying. She quickly wiped the tears off her face and gave the woman a small smile. "I'm fine, sorry, the tea…it just brought back some memories."

"How old were you when she died?"

Stunned, Isa asked, "How did you know?"

"I have a sense about these things."

Isa chewed her lip as more tears fell from her eyes. "I was seven." Isa's voice was thick as she spoke. "They were both killed."

Ethel quickly drew Isa into a hug. "Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear that. No child deserves to go through that." She drew back, and softly wiped the tears from Isa's face. "Here, I want you to take this tin of chamomile tea, on me."

"Oh no, Ethel, please let me pay you."

"I insist." Her voice was firm, yet warm. "And anytime you want some tea, please, just come pay me a visit."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Isa's voice was shaky.

"I can see a lost and lonely soul in you, and you deserve some relief from that."

Hange came in to check on Isa and was instantly at her side when she saw Isa's tear stained face. "Isa, are you alright?" She drew Isa into a hug.

"I'm…I'm fine. Just the tea reminded me of something." Isa pulled back from Hange and turned to face Ethel. "I don't know how to thank you, but I appreciate this, more than you can know. I'll come back sometime soon." She gave Ethel another hug, surprisingly at ease with the woman. Is this what having a grandmother is like?

"Please do dear, and stay close to these friends of yours. They have good hearts. You can trust them."

Isa sent another small smile to Ethel, and then turned and walked back out with Hange.

The four girls made their way through the streets of Trost again, Hange was sharing some more stories about the stars again. Isa was grateful that Hange hadn't asked anything else about what happened in the tea shop. It was as if she understood that there were some things she just wasn't ready to talk about yet. Besides, Isa had found that she enjoyed these tales of the stars in the sky, as ridiculous and childish they may seem.

Soon the girls found themselves back at the center of the district, where the instructors were awaiting the return of the cadets. While the cadets had been on their break, the instructors had taken the time to set up titans around Trost. It didn't take long for all the cadets to return. They knew better at this point than to ever be late. Threats of punishments ranging from months of stable duty to endless laps were enough to keep the cadets prompt.

The cadets were dismissed to their sections, and with the shot of the instructor's flare gun, they began the drill. Isa's group had decided that Hange should be in charge of making sure the people evacuated, and Isa and Derek would take care of the titans.

Like they had many times before, they took care of the titans with ease. They alternated between working together and taking solo kills. While Isa was uneasy in Derek's presence, during drills such as these, they managed to work well together.

Isa hunted through her section for stray titans, and she came across one that was down an alley. She used the roofs to make her way over, only using gas to make the jumps between buildings. As she got closer, she shot out her hooks to latch onto the titan's arm, looping herself down so that she could swing up and around towards the neck. With a grunt, she brought her blades across the nape, effectively downing another titan.

Before long, the drill was over, and the cadets met up in the center again. Over the years Isa had noticed that while the drills and training were generally gruesome, there were times where things felt easy, a little too easy. She wanted to assume that it was because they were getting better, which made everything seem easier, but if anything, the training should get harder as they progress. Isa personally was looking forward to being able to join the scouts and complete some real training. She'd heard that their training routines were far more intense than anything they'd do as cadets.

Only a few months separated her from true freedom, and she could hardly wait.

Thank you for reading! :)