Author Notes
Harry Potter and The Wizarding World is the property of J.K. Rowling, of course.
This story is largely rooted in the original text. Quotations from the text will be bolded, and specific citations will be noted in each chapter. However, I do consider it an alternate universe story, and it does not follow canon religiously. It begins with the sixth year, and diverges from there.
Content Warning: Depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, emotional manipulation, neglect, and substance abuse occur throughout the narrative. This story also implies that consenting teenagers have sexual relationships with one another. Lastly, character deaths—both those that follow the canon and those that do not—occur throughout. Please consider your personal triggers, and be kind to yourself.
Chapter One:
A Desperate Decision
Evelyn and Elizabeth Castell sat side-by-side, matching dark circling swinging low under their eyes. Their aunt was facing away from them, flicking her wand stoically. Books were moving from the shelf nearby, piling themselves neatly on the desk before the girls in two even stacks.
"Are these for us?" Evelyn asked. Her voice had a warm, dreamy quality to it that made her aunt pause. Minerva McGonagall turned to face her niece. She had always encouraged them to question the world around them, to be guided by their innate curiosity and to bring that sense of wonder to their studies. She had been so proud of the young women they were becoming. Now, the girls felt alien to her. Evelyn, her head cocked to the side, looked for all the world as if she might drift away like a wayward balloon at any moment. Elizabeth, conversely, seemed to sit heavily in her chair, her eyes unfocused. She had always been stoic, but she had been much more so since their arrival to Minerva's quarters at Hogwarts. Even when she was in the room with her aunt and her sister, Elizabeth felt removed from them.
"They are for you," Minerva said gently. "They're the books you'll be needing for your lessons this year. I've been through your transcripts, and everything is in order for you to begin with the rest of the sixth-year students."
"That will be wonderful," Evelyn replied brightly, leaning forward and stroking the spine of one of the books as if it was an exotic, foreign object. "I'm looking forward to my classes. So much to learn..." Her thoughts seemed to drift away, her unfinished sentence hanging between them.
Minerva felt she was talking to two small children. She looked at Elizabeth, desperate to find something more concrete there, but she found only a sullen, disinterested counterpoint. She pressed her lips together.
After a long pause, she said, "Do you feel ready for your classes?"
Again, it was Evelyn who spoke. "Oh, yes. I had top grades in my classes at the Academy."
"And you can remember all your spellwork?" Evelyn gave a pleasant little laugh in response, as if she thought her aunt was being quite funny. Minerva continued, "Professor Dumbledore will be assessing you this afternoon, and then we'll confirm your placements."
Her eyes moved between the two girls, shifting quickly as if she feared that she might miss even the smallest of reactions that would indicate some deeper awareness lingering beneath these unfamiliar exteriors. But there was nothing there, no matter how desperately she looked—and that realization, after so many weeks of denial, shook her composure.
She thought then of Athena, who had always written of the girls as these complex, lively people. Even in their childhood, they had had strong personalities. As teenagers, they'd become more stubborn, more opinionated and, perhaps most frustrating for their parents, more articulate. Her sister's twin girls had always known how to take up space in the world, and were independent young people. Though, despite these shared traits, they were vastly different: Evelyn, passionate and adventurous, and Elizabeth, quiet and cunning. It had been Ellie that Athena had written most about in the last year. She'd become a more disgruntled teenager, particularly in comparison to Evie, and had a sharp tongue and bad habits. Athena had seemed to be continually at odds with Elizabeth, and she'd struggled. "George Lucas may have been on to something, Minnie," Athena had once written, "There is a dark side—as we both know—and I fear my Elizabeth is constantly battling it."
That line had always stayed with Minerva. Partially because she had had to search through a stack of Muggle newspapers that were kept on file at the library to find a reference to George Lucas, and partially because she had found herself wondering about Elizabeth at various times. She had taught enough students to know the ones who struggled against these darker tendencies, and, sitting there before her just then, Elizabeth looked particularly forlorn.
Not that Evelyn looked better, Minerva mused. Though she was happier and more expressive overall, Evie seemed to be too flippant about the world around her. She was like a buoy, floating on the surface—bobbing along—but lacking depth. Imagining either of the girls attempting to navigate the crowded corridors in a few weeks' time made Minerva feel short of breath, and she thought, How were they meant to survive like this?
It seemed impossible to imagine them making friends, advancing in their studies, or even, eventually, going out into the world for the next phase of their lives. The questions she had—the concern and fear that kept her up at night—were the reason why they would be dining in Albus's private quarters that evening.
"They occupy such extremes of themselves," Minerva sighed, sipping steadily from the tumbler of firewhiskey Albus had poured for her. He was leaning back in his chair near the fire in his office. His hands were folded over his abdomen, and for a moment Minerva's eyes lingered on the blacked fingers interlaced with his uninjured ones. He hadn't told her how he'd come to be injured, and she hadn't asked. Whether Albus himself was thinking of her hesitating gaze on his injury or of her nieces, his face gave nothing away. Minnie continued, "You saw them tonight. Evelyn is increasingly bubbly. She has become this chattering, silly thing. While Elizabeth is so... Sullen and distant. She talks in grunts more than words." She paused, and then let slip some of the fear she had been carrying with her, "Will they always be like this?"
"You read the report from Saint Mungo's yourself, Minerva."
"That report was worthless!" She burst with emotion, so unlike herself but so necessary after weeks of being with the girls and feeling unable to help them in any real way.
"The Obliviscatur Charm is still largely untested, and many of its effects unknown. The healers believe that this is the first time it's been performed on twins. And, while some have led completely normal lives after the Charm has been cast—"
"Some don't." Minerva said woefully. She took a rather long sip from her tumbler, and turned her back on Albus to walk the length of the room.
After a self-indulgent pause, Minnie asked, "What did you think of them?"
Albus had had four courses to observe them, and to collect his thoughts on their condition. After dinner, they'd spent a bit of time listening to the wireless before Elizabeth had begun to complain of a headache. A house elf had escorted both girls back to Minnie's quarters, and seen them safely into their beds.
"In many ways, they are still just adolescents. Some are cheerful and happy-go-lucky. Others are more temperamental."
"But they are so extreme—and so different from how they were."
"They are extreme," Albus conceded, "But only you and I know that they are different."
"I'm not sure that they'll be able to function here, Albus. When they move into their dormitories... What will their classmates think? They're odd. There will be questions, and the Healers said that could compromise the integrity of the Charm. That the smallest things could trigger its reversal. And then..."
"Then their memories may return."
"Which would be catastrophic." She said bitterly. Tears threatened at the corner of her eyes, and she looked down into her tumbler as if there might be some relief there. She was surprised to find the glass in her hand empty.
"Which could be catastrophic." Albus corrected, looking patiently at Minerva.
"Albus," she said on an exhale, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. "The Healers said that the sudden return of their memories could fragment their sense of time, could permanently alter their-their personhood. They could be completely traumatized—insane even."
"The Healers also said that they could return to themselves, with all their memories, completely. We simply do not know what may happen, and neither one of us is in the business of predicting these things."
Minerva scoffed, setting her tumbler down curtly. Their shadows rose long on the walls, and the fire needed tending. It was late. She had stayed here longer than she'd planned.
"We should reside ourselves to the unknowable future." Albus said sagely, "They have been left with just the happiest of their memories, it seems, and they are well protected from Voldemort in this state.
"But are they protected? Evie acts like she's constantly confunded, and Ellie is depression manifested. They have none of the fight left in them. How will they perform in their lessons? Can they even create new memories? The Healers said that their function of memory and remembering is compromised. That they may not be able to create authentic experiences. That magic itself might interfere with these processes."
"Mays and mights, Minerva." Albus said, again in that sage tone of his. It grated against Minerva's nerves. "They are safe today. Their secret is safe. That is what we must take solace in."
Keeping them safe was her most important duty as their guardian, she knew. Though her work at the school had always required a level of awareness and concern for her students, the role of guardian was something she felt that she was just beginning to fully understand. Her nieces were different. They deserved more from her than her professorial role. Standing before Albus, with his words hanging around her, she felt completely disconnected from him in a way she never had before. Her heart felt heavy, and her bones felt old.
She had a decision to make, and she did not know if she could make it alone.