I do not own the characters.

Summary: Sasuke is on a mission to find the perfect male lover. The answer is closer than he thinks.

The Perfect Lover

By: Hell Jashin

Was it so hard to be good at sex?

Twenty-three-year-old Sasuke Uchiha sighed as he pulled into the driveway. It was early, only nine in the evening on a Friday night, and yet, once again, his night was a disappointment.

The disappointment stemmed from his companion, who turned out to be disproportionate despite his large stature. The man had the nerve to whisper in Sasuke's ears that he'd wreck his hole only to present him with a micropenis when he unzipped his pants. A micropenis!

Sasuke face-planted on the steering wheel and let out a groan.

If he was being honest, he was frustrated because he had been celibate for the last two and a half months. Not voluntarily, of course.

If it wasn't a micropenis, then it was a lousy and sloppy kisser. If not that, then it was a goddamn mute or someone who boasted about their previous conquests during the exchange. At one point, he found out that the partner he'd chosen for the night also preferred to be a neko, and that just didn't work because Sasuke liked to receive rather than top.

Then, when he did find a decent person who did decent foreplay, it was ruined by their three-minute dick, which, let's be real, seemed more like a one-pump-chump. He knew his ass was amazing, but that was just ridiculous.

Fucking hell.

Was it so hard to meet his qualifications? Good kisser, good in bed, preferably a huge dick, and good at talking dirty.

Yet, time and time again, these imbeciles lined up in front of Sasuke, each worse than the last. Tonight's episode of the giant with a micropenis was his last straw.

There was only one instance in his life that he had what he deemed to be the perfect lover in bed. Neji was his name. He did everything right: the dirty talk, the wanton gaze, the perfect body, those silky soft lips and pummeling hips. He brought every man on the planet to shame with his perfect everything. They even had one last fling before deciding to part ways, and Sasuke had cherished it because he knew that everyone he met after the white-eyed beauty would only be subpar.

Although they had decided to remain best friends rather than lovers, he seriously considered revisiting Hyuga Avenue. Ahem… aka Neji's dick. Sasuke banged his head against the steering wheel and groaned. The pent-up frustration was getting to him.

He pulled out his phone and leaned back in his car seat, speed dialing the number two on his phone. It rang once and was picked up.

"Hey, what's up?"

Sasuke groaned loud enough for everyone to hear. See? That kind of smooth, deep voice that was seductive even without trying. Why couldn't he find a partner with such a qualification? Sasuke banged his head against the back of his seat.

"Dude," he deadpanned, "you have ruined me for sex."

The laughter on the other end was unmistakable, loud, yet somehow elegant, guffaws that reverberated down Sasuke's body making him appreciate the rarity.

Sasuke recounted the night's story, lamenting over the details, and when he was done, he could practically see Neji's milky white eyes brimming with amusement.

"You don't learn, babe. What did I tell you about men of big stature?"

Sasuke sighed and recited his next words as if reading out of a book. "The size of a man's body doesn't dictate the size of their dick."

"Mhmm, and yet you keep picking the big ones," Neji replied.

"But hey, in my defense, the first guy I dated was big in stature and he had a big dick. And I mean huge."

A moment of silence echoed between the two before Neji spoke. "The first guy you dated was me," his voice crooned over the phone.

"So?"

"Oh, you smooth talker, you."

"How's the firefighter gig going by the way? You're not picking up random people bridal style and seeing if you can squat their weight, are you?"

"Just what is it do you think firefighters do?" Neji responded incredulously.

A sudden knocking on his window alarmed him, and Sasuke jerked up from his slouched position. Right outside his door stood an older version of himself, and he was smiling softly at him. Sasuke glanced at the main door and noticed that it was wide open, the tell-tale sign of a dim light lit in the living room. Had his brother been waiting for him?

"Hey, Itachi's asking for me. I'll give you a call on a different day."

"Sure thing. Keep me in the loop."

Sasuke hung up and pulled the key out of the ignition before he stepped out of the car. He was greeted with a kiss to his forehead.

"You're home early from work, 'Tachi," he said, leaning into his brother's hug. It was their typical routine when either of them came home, something that stemmed from their childhood school days.

"Welcome back, Otouto," Itachi said.

"I'm back, Aniki," he responded as always. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Not long. Who were you on the phone with?" His Aniki inquired, head tilted slightly.

"Just Neji. Nothing important," he said with a reassuring smile. Itachi had a tendency to worry about the littlest things when it came to Sasuke. "Let's go inside. It's cold out here."

The fireplace was lit inside, fire crackling and offering a sunset glow, and there was a plate of fruit on the coffee table and a mug of tea.

"When did you get back? You're never home early on a Friday night," Sasuke said as he plopped down next to Itachi on the sofa. He helped himself to Itachi's cup of tea with a grin. It was still warm, meaning the man hadn't been home long.

"Do you not want me at home?" Itachi asked, a mock displeased expression starting to form on his face.

Sasuke laughed cheekily. "You're funny, Aniki. I've been bugging you to take a night off for as long as I can remember."

Itachi tapped Sasuke's button nose with a sigh. "I came home because I was worried about you. Someone said they saw you at a club downtown arguing with a big guy."

Shit.

"Oh, that. Just a disagreement is all."

"He didn't lay his hands on you, did he, Otouto?" Itachi pressed, cupping Sasuke's face in his palms as he examined his features for any mishaps.

He shook his head vehemently. "I'm okay, 'Tachi."

Itachi nodded and let go when he was satisfied with the results of his inspection. "If you want to drink and have fun, just come to my club. That way, I can watch over you."

Sasuke's nose scrunched up. It's not that he didn't want to, but the last thing he wanted was Itachi's careful eye on him. It wasn't that he went out of his way to hide his preferences, but there wasn't a need to go into details with his brother about what his definition of fun was.

"Don't tell me you came home early because you were worried about me?" he said, pouting over the mug of tea. "I'm not a baby anymore, Aniki. I can take care of myself."

"I wonder," Itachi responded with a pat to his head.

"Hmph. If I had known that getting hurt would make you come home early, I would have done it sooner," he said shamelessly.

"Don't say that, Otouto," Itachi sighed. "If you want me to spend more time with you, just tell me, and I'll set aside some time."

"Then take Sunday off and spend it with me, Aniki."

Itachi chuckled, a pleasant sound in Sasuke's ears, and he also grinned ear-to-ear. "Okay, I'll make preparations at work."

"You treat me so well," Sasuke uttered. "Your future partner is going to be so lucky."

"Worry about yourself, Otouto," came the snort, making Sasuke laugh childishly.

H.J.

It was Saturday, and the boy had told Itachi he'd take it easy tonight, opting to watch a movie with his bowl of popcorn than follow Itachi to work. So there he sat on his large sofa in front of their 80-inch TV at seven in the evening when he got a call.

"Yo."

"Guess who got the night off?" Neji's sweet, sweet baritone rang in Sasuke's ears.

The twenty-three-year-old pushed himself up from his slouched position with a gasp, abandoning his bowl on the coffee table. "You lie!" Sasuke shrieked.

Laughter bubbled over the phone. "I heard there's a show over at Akatsuki. Want to go?"

Sasuke paused. At his Aniki's club, huh? He told his brother he wasn't going to be out tonight, but there was no harm in checking it out, right? It had been a while since he stepped foot in Akatsuki.

"You bet. Pick me up in an hour?" Sasuke replied.

"Perfect."

Akatsuki was one of three popular clubs downtown, and it was bought with Itachi's blood, sweat, and tears when he was 25 and recreated it in his vision. Three years later, he was one of the most featured men in the party scene at 28 years old.

It's funny, Sasuke thought, since he could never see his Aniki in the party scene. His big brother didn't like the crazy, noise, and chaos. But somehow, seeing him in tailored suits in his day-to-day work life was strangely suiting.

Stepping foot into the dimly lit nightclub after so long was a tad bit nostalgic and very stimulating. Colorful lights flashed among a sea of machine-induced fog, and men and women crowded the place so well it was hard to walk through. The window facing the main, busy street was a beacon to finding the place because it was a pedestal, a set stage for bold dancers to sway to the music. Anyone standing outside could stare through the pane and identify the scantily clad women who danced without a care in the world.

Of course, that didn't catch Sasuke's attention. Because he didn't swing that way. His boners came from something more masculine and testosterone-filled.

Like the hefty six-foot-one giant next to him with long chocolate brown hair. He was ogling and reconsidering why they even broke up in the first place.

Neji caught his eye, and a smirk brimming with mischief tilted his lips upwards. He even bent down to hover over Sasuke's ear. "You shouldn't look at me like that," he murmured, his voice making the boy shudder.

God, he was fucking sexy.

The brunette pressed a large palm along the small of Sasuke's back and guided him to the bar, where he ordered two gin and tonics.

"So when's the show supposed to happen?" Sasuke asked, propping an elbow on the counter.

"Hmm, it should have started already," Neji replied, eyes scanning the crowd.

With furrowed brows, Sasuke leaned over the counter and flagged down the bartender on the other end. "Hidan! Hey, man, how's it going?"

A brief glimpse of surprise flew past the silver-haired man's eyes before he grinned wide like a shark and sauntered over. "Chibi! Long time no see!" Hidan pulled Sasuke into a big hug, successfully dragging half his torso over the counter before letting go.

"Isn't there supposed to be a show going on? We don't see it." Sasuke gestured between Neji and himself, missing the odd glint of mischief in Hidan's eyes when he glanced at Neji.

"There is, there is! But it's more of a private show for the more exclusive crowd. It's upstairs in the grand hall. Are you interested? I can get ya in with your friend."

Sasuke batted his eyes with a smile. "Would you, please?" he asked sweetly.

"You got it, chibi," Hidan responded, fixing their drinks before leading them past sets of security guards and upstairs.

The man left Neji and Sasuke in an empty room, rooms that must have been set up recently because Sasuke was unfamiliar with them, but pulled Sasuke aside before leaving. "Prepare to be surprised," he muttered, wiggling his eyebrows as if partaking in an inside joke.

Sasuke eyed him in confusion before sitting down next to Neji.

A glass pane separated them from the center stage, where a lone male figure was hog-tied on his stomach, baring everything to the world. At first glimpse, Sasuke gasped.

The center stage was lit brightly, bringing out all the little details that would typically be overlooked: the shape of the thickly corded black ropes that binded his limbs, the hot breath that sizzled into the air, the red welts that littered his body, and the flushed cheeks stained with tears.

The echo of footsteps padded closer to the body on the platform, and Sasuke's eyes followed the owner's footsteps until a pair of expensive black boots came into view. A very familiar pair of black boots.

Heart thudding against his ribcage, Sasuke eyes darted up the newcomer's leather-clad pants, up over the trimmed waist and neatly buttoned long sleeve dress shirt, and all the way to the face he knew he would recognize if not for the black masquerade mask shielding it.

"Holy shit," Sasuke whispered.

He would recognize his Aniki anywhere, mask or not.

His Aniki stood behind the tied up man, making a careful show of slipping on his black gloves before he removed the ball gag from the other party's mouth and tossed it aside as if it was a piece of trash.

"I'll allow you to scream," came Itachi's undeniable dominant voice.

If his features weren't enough to solidify Sasuke's claim, then that voice surely did. The boy hid a shudder, gaze fixated on his Aniki.

"Did you know it was going to be this kind of show?"

"No. Apparently, the content changes monthly. I heard one of the guys at work rave about it so I was curious."

Judging by Neji's calm response, he, too, did not recognize his brother.

Sasuke gulped. Did Itachi like men? Since when? How come he didn't know? Wait, no. Putting on a show like this didn't necessarily indicate he was gay.

Sasuke took another look at the boy who was bound. His skin was as pale as the moonlight and had hair darker than ink. With a sleek build and long limbs, he looked like Sasuke in a lot of ways.

"P-Please, M-master…s-spare me…."

Those long glove-clad fingers were digging into the boy's hole at this point, pumping at a rate far too quickly and dirty for it to be human.

Upon his whimper, Itachi stopped, pulling his fingers out completely. He then spoke coldly. Nonchalantly. Nothing like the Aniki Sasuke knew. "How are you supposed to handle my dick if you can't even handle three fingers?"

Sasuke could handle it. He could definitely handle it. His hole twitched in agreement. That boy was a fucking wimp if he couldn't even take Itachi's fingers. What a joke.

Immediately following his words, a riot occurred in the other surrounding boxes, hyped up men pounding on the glass pane.

"Destroy his tiny asshole, Master!"

"FUCK HIS BRAINS OUT!"

"How dare he talk back to the Master? Punish him!"

One after the other, the audience erupted into cheers. Without even a glance around, the man with the mask held his palm up and immediately all voices quieted.

Without even a warning, the masked man retrieved a nude dildo from his pile of toys, and without bothering to pry open the boy's hole, he shoved it inside, immediately turning on the vibration to the highest setting.

An ear-piercing scream exploded in the hall and the lithe body spasmed as spurts of cum sprayed all over the floor. Saliva drooled from the corner of the boy's mouth, and his hazy eyes stared out into the abyss as if in a daze. "Master… M-Master," he kept uttering like a mantra, "p-please, I don't w-want that. I-I need Master's cock."

As if Itachi had bullied him, the boy's eyes began tearing up and his voice croaked further, hoarse from screaming. The vibrating dildo jabbed against his prostate continued to whir in a frenzy as a riding crop came down on the boy's already red backside repeatedly.

"AHH! Ah! No, p-please!"

"My dick is not for you to have," came the Master's angry voice. He tossed the riding crop aside to shove the dildo in further with the inner palm of his right hand. "I only give good, little boys my dick. How can you beg for it when you can't even swallow this dildo correctly? Your hole is already swollen. What a shame."

Sasuke gulped.

"Look at me," Itachi commanded, jerking the boy's chin in his direction. His other hand expertly unzipped his pants, pulling out his erection for all to see.

More ruckus surrounded the hall, but Sasuke drowned it out as his eyes remained fixated on what his Aniki pulled out of his pants.

It was big. No… huge. Heavy. Swollen. Beautiful.

Sasuke swallowed hard. A bead of sweat trickled down the side of his face. Good God.

"Is this what you want?" the Master purred, voice as silky as honey. His cock sprung alive, hitting the boy in the face and causing him to flinch.

Sasuke nearly threw a fit. If that had been him, he would have been slobbering all over it by now, not flinching back in surprise. A strange sense of frustration welled in his chest, and he found himself standing in front of the window pane, hands slammed against it.

The sudden noise must have caught the Master's attention because, suddenly, a sharp gaze settled in his direction, and Sasuke was met with obsidian eyes. Once their eyes met, the cold, harsh gaze that was solely meant for the tied-up boy melted into something more sultry mixed in with astonishment, before they reverted back to their normal nonchalance.

And then, Sasuke no longer possessed that hauntingly familiar gaze, and the hog-tied boy was denied of the Master's erection as he came again, pulsing all over the dildo inside him with a frantic scream.

Sasuke had no recollection of what happened after that, because Neji had pulled him out of there with a hand to his wrist. He followed because he had been in a daze until they reached the main dance floor and blended in with the crowd.

"You okay?" the brunette muttered against his ear, before attaching hands to his hips in a slow grind.

Gradually, Sasuke's body began to unwind and he nodded, wrapping his arms around Neji's neck. "Yeah, all good."

"You were acting funny in there."

"Are you jealous?"

Neji snorted. "You did look at that man like a long lost lover."

"Is that a yes?" Sasuke snickered, a grin attached to his face. "Even when I propose we do it for old times sake, you hit back with a lame excuse," the ravenette chided.

"All I want is to treasure my best buddy," Neji responded with a sweet peck to Sasuke's forehead .

"Pfft. You can also cherish me in bed. You know how hard it is to find a decent lover?"

"I do set the bar real high," Neji purred.

"Pompous asshole."

"You're hard as a rock."

"You're no fucking different."

The brunette grinned. "Let's grab some grub from the diner near your house."

"Are you sure we don't need to bone first?"

"…."

Sasuke sighed in disappointment. "Spoilsport. Fine. I could eat." Cock, that is.

It was not until nearly midnight that Sasuke was dropped off at home. The lights were off and the house was quiet, so the boy assumed Itachi had not returned from work yet, but he was grossly mistaken when he set his keys down into the bowl by the foyer.

"Sasuke."

The ravenette froze, that sultry, deep voice sinking into his bones. He cleared his throat before responding as normally as he could. "Welcome home, Aniki."

His voice sounded normal, right? He thought there was a slight tremor to it, but hoped it was his imagination.

Instead of walking over to greet him as usual, his Aniki flicked on the living room lamp instead and patted the sofa seat next to his. A whisky glass sat on the coaster on the coffee table, the ice completely melted with little condensation remaining on the outside.

How long had the man been waiting?

"You're not going to welcome me back?" Sasuke joked, a weak smile on his face. Why did it feel like he had done something wrong? If anything, it was his Aniki who had done something out of proportion. What did he have to be afraid of?

"Sit," Itachi commanded.

"Am I in trouble?" the boy joked, coming to sit in the single arm chair adjacent to where Itachi sat.

"Who was the man you were with today?"

Huh?

"You mean Neji? He's a good friend. He's the firefighter I've told you about."

This was not the trajectory he was aiming for. He was more curious about the softcore BDSM show led by his Aniki tonight.

"When did you see me with Neji?" Sasuke muttered, drawing his knees up the chair. He rested his cheek on them and turned his gaze toward Itachi. When his Aniki remained silent, Sasuke scoffed. "Instead of asking me about who I keep around for company, maybe you should spend some time picking your own companions carefully."

There. He said it.

He knew everyone had different tastes and, honestly, who was he to fucking judge, but that frustrating feeling in his chest was still very much prevalent, sending an awful sensation through his body.

"So you did recognize me."

The nonchalance accompanying that statement caused Sasuke's blood to boil. His head shot up from his knees with a glare.

"Of course I fucking recognized you," he hissed. "I would be stupid not to. I don't need to look at your pretty boy face to recognize you, you idiot. What are you thinking posing like that? Do you do that shit often?!"

Itachi's brows furrowed, a frown evident on his lips. "I rarely do, Otouto. I was filling in at the last minute because the guy who was hired suddenly fell ill."

"How fucking wonderful for you. A jack of all trades, huh?" Sasuke growled sarcastically.

The frown remained on Itachi's face. "Why are you so upset with me, Otouto?"

Sasuke nearly snapped. "So you know I'm upset with you, huh? I'm not someone who judges another person's sexual preferences, but you were selling yourself to a goddamn crowd. For fuck's sake, Aniki! What if it was me, huh? What if I was the one hog-tied and spread out like that, and some random 'Master' was spanking me and shoving a dildo into my ass in front of two dozen other people? What if you saw me like that and my explanation to you was that I was filling in for someone else? Would you not get angry?"

The boy's chest heaved at the end of his little rant. Good lord, he was taking this much more harshly than he originally tried to play off. Once the words began to flow, he couldn't help himself. His chest felt somewhat crushed like he was suffocating.

When his gaze refocused on Itachi, he nearly flinched back. The man's gaze looked murderous, an unbelievably furious gleam overtaking his features. "Over my dead body," Itachi snarled, the frown on his face finally disappearing into something more wild, more predatory.

"See?!" Sasuke cried. "And you have the balls to ask me why I'm upset." Sasuke's legs hung off the couch and hit the floor with a thud. He folded his arms over his chest and glared into his lap.

Large palms were suddenly in view on his knees. Itachi had knelt down on the carpet in front his him, his beautifully shaped hands rubbing just above his knees in an attempt to sooth the boy.

"I'm sorry," his Aniki mumbled, glancing up at Sasuke. "You're right. It's my fault. I won't do it again, Otouto. Don't be angry with Aniki."

"Promise," Sasuke demanded.

"I promise. No more."

"Even if they fall sick again."

"Even if they fall sick again, I will not do it."

"Good," the boy grumbled.

"Do you forgive me?" Itachi asked, resting his cheek on the boy's lap.

How could Sasuke not when he acted so sweetly and innocently, a direct contrast to that dirty talking Master in the grand hall?

"You haven't even given me my 'Welcome home' kiss yet," Sasuke said with a hmph.

Itachi finally pressed himself up onto his feet, leaning over to kiss Sasuke on his temple. "Welcome home, my cute Otouto," he replied calmly, causing the boy to blush underneath his endearing gaze.

Sasuke had to clear his throat and swallow the thickness he felt there before he opened his mouth. "I'm home, 'Tachi."