Preface:
Thank you to the dedicated game developers at Bethesda (now part of Microsoft) for creating the great and amazing Elder Scrolls games, and I acknowledge and respect that the 'Elder Scrolls' game (TES V Skyrim and others) and all characters in there are owned by that company.
This story would not have been possible without the amazing and extensive lore Bethesda has written and provided for the Elder Scrolls game series and some great user mods building on those. My kudos also to those who write and maintain the many fandom and Wiki pages; those are very useful to refresh my memory on details and canon dialog.
Characters I invented include: B'lushona, Fiona, Freya, Janina, Antonius, Mia, and a few (minor)others.
Special recognition to mods (all on Nexus):
o 'Companion Vilja' follower by 'Emma'
o 'Inigo' follower by 'Smartbluecat' (IMHO the second best follower mod ever – my personal favorite is 'Vilja')
o 'Bijin Warmaidens' and some other NPC makeovers – makes some female warriors look so much better
o 'Legacy of the Dragonborn SSE' by 'icecreamassassin' and team (mentioned once or twice)
o 'Riverside Lodge' by 'Lupus' (I changed it to an inn in the story)
I allowed myself to be inspired by those great SI (self insert) stories; kudos to the authors:
o 'Into the Maelstrom' (and the sequels) by 'Aurora Nova'
o 'Fall from Earth' by 'Mae-Govannen'
o 'Their Adventures in Skyrim' by'redmoon85'
o 'The Whitest Man in Skyrim' by 'Flux Casey'
o 'Bridge to Tamriel' by 'Strokemytaki'
o 'Initiate Experimental Simulation: Skyrim' by 'Sinsyne'
Summary (feel free to skip if you want to dive right in and go to chapter one below):
An engineer from Earth plays a lot of TES V, always being the 'Knight in Shining Armor' rescuing the proverbial 'Damsel in Distress'. In real Skyrim, a Dragonborn has been chosen, but she needs a protector and companion. Akatosh decides that the narrator gets a job offer for that, and he accepts. He wakes up in the cart to Helgen and is now a tall, strong and rejuvenated Khajiit, but who is the Dragonborn? Despite his knowledge from playing the game, not everything goes smoothly, and some details are different, and, to some extent, more 'realistic'.
This is not a 'veni, vidi, vici' story racing through the main quest without any major problems. Rather, obstacles show up for time to time, and even a strong Khajiit, who is also not much trained for combat, cannot overcome them all; incidents and accidents happen. Also, some very mundane tasks, such as going behind a bush, are mentioned from time to time.
I have been thinking about an SI (self insert) story for a long time, and mine is different from most others in two ways: One, the main protagonist is not the Dragonborn, and two, he gets into Skyrim in a different body – both rejuvenated and a different race.
As the story is told from the viewpoint of a person who has played the game a lot in his previous life, readers who have never or only very little played 'TES V' and also have not read some related stories yet may feel lost from time to time.
What you should and should not expect: A long story about an elderly human engineer turned into a Khajiit, sometimes working with the (female) Dragonborn, sometimes on his own. There is some canon or canon like dialog and a lot of novel one (I hope), and some humor, too. My hero will also get into a romance, but not necessarily with the Dragonborn. The romance will, however, not dominate the story. The story is rated 'T' rather than 'M' for a reason; no hidden cameras in the bedrooms. I also keep violent language and violent acting within limits. I have not specified pairings in the story properties to avoid spoilers.
The story-line is planned to have more than one story, maybe a trilogy; there are most likely going to be subsequent 'Balu in Skyrim - some words' stories. For now, book one – this story – is expected to have about 60 – 70 chapters (this is not yet final) and covers about half a year in story time.
I will try to keep chapters between 3k and 5k words, and I plan to publish a new chapter once a week at least until mid of next year (2022); after that, I may eventually move to a different schedule. If you prefer longer sections to read, you can always skip a few updates and then read several chapters in a row, I guess.
Reviews are greatly appreciated, even if they just point out some errors and inconsistencies I delivered!
SPOILER WARNING: The story contains many spoilers for the main quest, the Companions, some side quests and some mods, although the flow of events is, of course, not always quite like in the game.
Chapter 1: An engineer's dream
"Coming here was the last mistake you will ever make!"
Of course, sure, I laughed to myself while I pulled my enchanted glass greatsword and quickly looked at my side to make sure that Lydia, my raven haired, faithful and pretty housecarl, was prepared for combat as well. She was ready, as always, and we proceeded to clear Valtheim Towers from bandits for the umpteenth time. Vilja, my favorite companion and hopelessly in love with me, followed at some distance, and I imagined that she liked to ogle me, or rather my tall, strong and handsome Khajiit character. I wished that I could wiggle my tail to 'wink' at her.
As I frequently did on Friday evenings and nights, I played my favorite computer game, 'The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim'. That game allowed me to be like I imagined to be, in my fantasy – tall, strong, handsome, popular with the ladies, and always ready to save a 'damsel in distress'. Besides, I loved the environment, specifically since they had released the Special Edition, and although the game had been originally published about a decade ago, it was still my absolute favorite. I was very much looking forward to the next game in the Elder Scrolls series, but it had – to my chagrin – no published release date yet.
With the amount of mods I had installed on my state of the art gaming computer and big screen this looked just beautiful. Most of the enemies in the game were largely predictable, specifically the bandits, and once you knew where to find them and how they preferred to fight, you could easily prepare for that, specifically if one had some help around. Yes, of course, this was not the most challenging way, but I played for fun and not for a mental and tactical challenge; I had enough of that at work, after all. I knew that I should better spend some more time outdoors and do something for my lanky and nerdy body in real life, too, but sometimes I felt like Skyrim was my real life. Well, I wished.
Once I had conquered the inside of the southern tower, I ordered Vila and Lydia to occupy the ground level and wait for me there so that nobody could surprise us by running across the walkway. I climbed up to the top, and I quickly eliminated the bandit there with a dual handed shock spell. From up here, the top platform of the southern tower, I could see another bandit, maybe the chief, on the top platform of the northern tower. He had not yet noticed my activities, so that I got my crossbow ready – I had retrieved one from FortDawnguard earlier – and aimed carefully. The bolt hit a wooden pole the bandit was leaning at, though, just missing the target by a few centimeters. Well, it had been a difficult shot, and I did not always hit my target. Naturally, before I could aim again, the bandit went downstairs, but a minute later he was up again, looking around. I had waited and now I hit my target, but not enough for a kill. The bandit now ran down and onto the stone walkway, so that I could release another bolt; Lydia could do the rest; she was sworn to carry my burden anyway, and she was much better in close combat than I was.
During the week, I earned my money as an electrical engineer and circuit designer for a large company in Germany, and while that job was interesting and well paid, I mostly lacked social life, although I did some volunteering at my local church community. I had never managed to find the proper girl to marry, and I had not even had a girlfriend for quite a few years. Except for a brother, I did not have any close relatives left either. Lots of my spare time on the weekends was spent playing computer games; while I did not like the fast paced shooters, as my reflexes were not good enough for those, I loved 'Oblivion' and 'Skyrim', which allowed me to spend hours just walking around and enjoying the scenery, always searching for beauty in nature and women. I had to admit that I sometimes felt seriously tempted to install some adult mods allowing the player to force sexual favors from NPCs, but always decided against it, as it broke the immersion in my opinion, and somehow it did not feel 'right'. Rather, I either talked a nice girl in the game into marrying me by just wearing my Amulet of Mara or, like in this game, I courted a girl from a mod, 'Vilja in Skyrim'. I just loved it when she said something like "Of all the Khajiit I have met you are certainly the nicest", and those remarks made me feel good. Of course, I allowed my mind to imagine some more detailed and partially X-rated content, too.
With my two warrior ladies behind me I crossed the walkway, and I hoped to find reasonable loot on top of the northern tower. This time, though, I was getting disappointed, but that was all right as well. Vilja nagged again about doing something related to a search for her flute, and maybe I could do that soon. Of course she would chase me around the province, claiming that my task had priority, but if we had some time, we could as well… Sometimes I wondered why I bothered with her, but her dialog lines and her quests were really elaborate, and my Khajiit character just loved to 'have her back', a.k.a. ogling her backside. I was sure that she did not mind, and a few moments later I chuckled – she was just a few pixels, so what. Above and beyond that, tasks and quests could always wait, and practically none of them had a fixed timeline, so that there was no reason to be in any kind of hurry. There was another bandit just outside who attacked me when I was downstairs again, saying: "You picked a bad time to get lost, friend." Well, I was neither lost nor his friend, and I did not give him time to understand that he was wrong on both points; after all, I not only had a sword, but also a large selection of spells to select from, and fire blasted from both hands did the trick easily, at least with the significant amount of magicka I had available on my current level.
I knew quite well that I was missing something in my real life, but I could at least play and dream. On that particular Friday night I played almost non stop from late afternoon to midnight, and I enjoyed that a lot. To be honest, I had to admit that I was not a very skilled player. While I was doing all right talking to people, solving riddles and puzzles and such, my close combat skills were mediocre. Of course, as I had read and been told, Skyrim՚s way of implementing close combat was also not the best and most realistic, but my sword fighting and blocking really needed improvement. I did not play to compete, though; I played for fun, and I usually had a couple of female followers around to assist and protect me when needed. That was what followers were there for, wasn't it?
Valtheim Towers was fully conquered and cleared, once again, and I lazily thought that it would be nice to ask Jarl Balgruuf the Greater about occupying the place and having some guards stationed here. After all, this was the hold's boundary, so it should be observed and guarded, right? But no, there were no scripted dialog lines for that, and in a few days or weeks the next group of bandits would move in. I took a moment to look around; dusk was settling in, and with the active ENB graphics mod settings, the last sun rays triggered nice reflections on the water of the river. A dragon was visible in the distance, but probably too far away to notice me. Seeing the sun going down reminded me that I was actually getting tired, and I decided to call it a day. Fortunately, I could just save the game and continue from here whenever I was ready to play again.
What would I do next? I had already joined the Dawnguard, but mostly just to grab a crossbow. The quest to dive into Dimhollow Crypt was already on my list of open tasks, and I always loved to have Serana with me, specifically with her 'Seranaholic' modded looks. Normally I was not into pale ladies, but Serana was in a class of her own. Fortunately, my female followers usually did not become jealous, only Vilja asked from time to time how fond I actually was of Lydia, ready to scold me if I provided the wrong reply. Even if I did not answer like she expected, she would not really be angry with me for long, though, and her tolerance was certainly much higher than that of any real life women I had met or read about.
When I finally went to bed, close to midnight, my thoughts were still mostly in Skyrim. Obviously that affected my dreams, too, not for the first time, actually, and I had a very peculiar and memorable dream that night. In the dream, I found myself entering a big church in a town I did not recognize, and the interior reminded me of the great chapels in the 'Oblivion' (TES IV) game. The high walls were dominated by beautiful tall and narrow stained glass windows, and there were nine alcoves, which I recognized to belong to the Nine Divines; obviously, I was somewhere in Tamriel. Each of the alcoves had something like a shrine in it and some smaller paintings on the walls. No, only almost all of them; one of the niches seemed to be empty for some reason. I took my time to look around and admire the setup. No human being was around anywhere, not even a priest or acolyte or so, but suddenly a shiny apparition, like a larger than life person shrouded in magical light, appeared and spoke to me with a deep and vibrating but agreeable voice:
"Man of Earth, listen to my voice. I am Akatosh, Dragon God of Time and well known all over Nirn. Your heart beats for Tamriel, and this has been heard and felt across the worlds. Alduin, the World-Eater, has risen again, and a Dragonborn has been identified and chosen in those challenging times to face him. We, the Nine Divines, have decided that she needs a protector, and you are going to have the privilege to offer your services to her."
I got a minute to let that settle in; had he just stated that a female Dragonborn had been found? Another one of the ghostly figures, levitating in the empty niche, spoke:
"Man of Earth, I am Talos, Hero-God of Mankind. It bothers me that my children in Skyrim and some other provinces are no longer allowed to pray to me. If you accept our offer, I expect that you help to restore worship to the Nine again. Be strong for war; be bold against enemies and evil, and defend the people of Tamriel."
Even in my dream I realized immediately that this meant going against the Thalmor. That was all right in my book; they were just too arrogant and big-headed anyway. The 'be strong for war' part bothered me a little bit, though; did he expect me to take an active part in Skyrim՚s civil war? A few minutes later there was another voice, a female one this time:
"Man of Earth, listen to me as well. I am Dibella, Goddess of Beauty and Love. My friend Mara and I urge you to follow your heart and treat people properly. Don't kill unprovoked, and show mercy wherever possible, and you shall be rewarded nicely. Open your heart to the noble secrets of art and love. Treasure the gifts of friendship. Seek joy and inspiration in the mysteries of love."
Did she know what she was talking about? Show mercy? If you tried to show mercy to a defeated enemy and allowed them to yield, they'd stab you in the back when you turned around. Really? How would that work? However, her idea of finding joy in love sounded quite appealing to me.
Another voice made herself heard some time later, and I turned towards the alcove where this was coming from:
"Man of Earth, I am Kynareth, also known as Kyne, Khenarthi, and by some other names. Although you are not going to be Dragonborn yourself, you will be given some benefits. Show respect to the animals and do not kill them just for fun, I ask and demand. Use Nature's gifts wisely. Respect her power, and fear her fury."
So far, most of those ideas were not bad at all, in my opinion at least. The option to not be the Dragonborn was something I missed in the Skyrim game, sometimes at least; it would be nice to just watch how a Dragonborn managed all of the related quests without having to bother doing all of that on your own, and I would be happy to focus just on one or two of my favorite quest lines, like the Dawnguard and the Companions. Come on, how realistic was it for the player to become Harbinger, Arch-Mage, Guildmaster of the Thieves Guild and more in one person? On the other hand, being the Dragonborn՚s protector might be dangerous, and I was not a warrior at all.
Last but not least another male voice said, from yet another alcove:
"Stendarr says: Be kind and generous to the people of Tamriel. Protect the weak, heal the sick, and give to the needy."
That was almost like a Christian guideline, and with those words I realized that some of the previous statements were quoted from the book 'Ten Commands: Nine Divines'. What an interesting dream – this was so much better than most of the crap which usually happened in my dreams. I started to love it, and I hoped that it wasn't going to be over soon.
Akatosh՚s voice came back again, from the main altar in the chapel now:
"Mortal, Man of Earth, we offer you a new life in Skyrim. You have heard what we expect from you. If you accept and do as we demand and request, you will not regret it – do you have an answer for us?"
That was an easy question; getting from a dull, boring and lonely life here to adventures in Skyrim, specifically with divine support? Where did I sign up? Of course, I replied right away:
"I humbly accept your generous offer, and I will be looking forward to it!"
"So be it, Joor!" Akatosh՚s voice boomed, and it sounded almost joyful now. "Prepare yourself, and soon you will be on your way! The Nine Divines will guide you."
'Joor' was dragon lingo for 'mortal', if I recalled correctly. Cool! Spherical music started to play, and the dream slowly phased out. I was still asleep for some time, but when I woke up on Saturday morning, the entire dream was still in my mind and I could recall all of the details, which was very unusual for me.
"What a nonsense!" I thought. "Sure, they will be wanting a 50+ years old electrical engineer with glasses and no combat training as the Dragonborn՚s companion and protector. Of course, they so totally will; Skyrim has been waiting for somebody like me for years. I guess that's why it was just a dream." I shook my head, chuckled, and went through my usual Saturday chores and activities, which included shopping, doing the laundry, watching TV, and a few other things.
When I went to bed on that day, I thought about that dream a little more. If, for some reason, I was really getting magically transported right into Skyrim, life there might not be as easy as it was in the game. I might get hurt, I would not be able to reload if something went terribly wrong, I might offend people by accident, and if I had to use a sword to defend myself, even the most basic draugr or wolf would easily be able to kill me. Above and beyond that, what about amenities like proper toilets and showers? Oh well, it had been just a dream anyway, but an appealing one, though.
On Sunday, after I had been to church in the morning – I did believe in God, after all – I decided to take advantage of the late winter sunshine and got into my car to visit one of my favorite state parks, to go for a hike. I liked nature a lot, and about every other weekend I went for a shorter or longer hike somewhere around the city. Twice a year at least I traveled to some nice small town in the Austrian Alps for some mountain hiking, most of the time together with one of the few friends I had. I was certainly not a big city person, and I found peace and relaxation in nature.
There had been a lot of snow and ice in southern Germany lately, not quite as much as in Winterhold or so, of course, but the smaller roads were still slippery. Just after a road turn in the forest a huge truck came in the other direction, and when the driver applied his brakes before the turn, he lost control of the truck, probably due to ice on the road. Before I even had a chance to think about a proper reaction the trailer swerved over to my side of the road, and I only had a split second to realize that I was most likely about to die now.
Some articles and reports related to such events claimed that you got a chance to review your life in those moments, but that did not happen for me. Rather, I thought about Skyrim and Lydia and Vilja and others, and I quickly recalled the dream with the Nine Divines, and blackness engulfed me.
After some time of dizziness and pain, I encountered a situation I had read about before. I found myself levitating in what looked like a hospital, and I saw people in white clothes being very busy around a body. When I looked closer, that body indeed looked like mine, and I realized that I was in an intensive care unit and probably gravely wounded. The medical people down there apparently discussed my injuries, and I could see two of them shaking their heads. Before I had a chance to really get worried there was this powerful and resonating deep voice again:
"Man of Earth, this is your last chance to reconsider. If you prefer to stay in this world, just say so, and you will recover, in time. If you confirm your previous choice, let us know, and we will pull you into Skyrim. If you do so, keep in mind what we ask of you, worship the Nine, do your duty, and heed the commands of the saints and priests, and you will be rewarded."
I did not have to think twice, and while I could not speak in my ethereal form, Akatosh obviously read my mind and recognized my mental nodding, and I heard the booming voice again:
"So be it, mortal! Prepare yourself, as your new life is about to commence!"
His statement was followed by some commands in dragon language, and there was a chorus of heavenly voices, like sung by angels; for some reason this briefly reminded me of the background music from one of the Tolkien based movies, when the main characters entered the mythical Elven settlement of Rivendell. Was I next going to wake up there and see Master Elrond and his raven haired daughter Arwen Undomiel taking care of me? No, of course not – totally wrong world. My thoughts started to blur, and I drifted off into unconsciousness again.
[Author's Notes: How do you like the starting chapter? I promise that the second chapter will follow within a few days, before I move to a regular weekly update schedule.]