Disclaimer: Don't own PJO or the Whiskered Warrior.

Lunar Phases

The Deadliest Game of Hide and Seek

Rage.

It was a chemically induced reaction that caused mortals to lash out, to seek to harm others. It was a passionate feeling in the sense that it blinded the feeler to everything around them. This emotion prone to bloodlust-inducing phenomena was favored by Ares explicitly, but other gods of Olympus were not unfamiliar with it.

January 12th, 2008

Artemis has only felt true rage a few times in her long life. Her first brush with true rage came about during the incident with Actaeon. Just thinking of the lust-driven man now, millennia after his death, made her ichor boil and her fletching fingers twitch. After that was the event that took her first Lieutenant from her, an act she's never forgiven her father for.

More recently, the audacity committed by Atlas and Luke Castellan. Trapping her in such a blatant way, with such obvious bait, would follow her as one of the most humiliating events of her immortal life. Killing yet another of her friends in front of her only made the memory hurt that much more. It drove her to fight harder that day and work her Hunters to their immortal bones. At least Bianca seemed to be managing just fine in her new role as Lieutenant for now.

Yet, that incensed feeling paled in comparison to what she currently felt toward her twin. There hadn't even yet been a word invented in any known language that could express what she felt.

"What do you mean you 'lost him again'?" Artemis snarled, taking one step closer to her brother.

Apollo had one job she trusted him with outside of his Olympian duties (and she barely trusted him to perform those with any sort of professionalism): keep just one of his 'amazingly awesome all-seeing' eyes he so greatly loved to brag about on Naruto. She'd lost a dear friend due to her own fault already and, from what she'd understood, nearly lost him on the same quest. Her twin had earned a second chance at being her son's legal guardian from his granted support against Atlas and at the Winter Solstice meeting, and in less than a month he'd squandered it.

Artemis really shouldn't have been as surprised as she was. Her twin brother was an unparalleled idiot and, were it not for her son's mortal blood, she'd sometimes thought Hermes —the annoying, slippery little fool— was Naruto's father. The boy took to her lessons in hiding and stealth like a fish to water. And now that he was without his enchanted circlet…

Her head started to pound.

"Apollo, hold still." Artemis lifted her hands as her power shone through her eyes. "I'm going to strangle you, stuff your body and mount you outside of my temple as a warning for the rest of Olympus!"

"I have an idea of where he is!" Apollo quickly backed up, keeping her more than an arm's length away. The goddess let her hands fall and narrowed her eyes.

"Then tell me, and I shall go fetch him myself."

"Uh, about that…" Apollo swallowed. The hesitation did not fill her with confidence for her son's safety. His next words only confirmed those fears. "I need an oath on the Styx that you won't freak out, first."

"You—!" The audacious request did very little to dissuade her from making good on her declaration. Apollo quickly flashed away to the other side of her temple.

"Artemis, I'm serious." He pointed at her. "I'm not saying another word until I hear you swear it."

"Fine!" She snapped. "I swear in the Styx that I will not 'freak out' over whatever news you give me of Naruto's location." Thunder boomed and Artemis' glare became cold. "Now tell me where my son is, Apollo!"

"Boston."

A beat passed. Artemis stared at her twin, jaw agape. The throbbing in her head started up again tenfold.

"B-Boston?"

"He got a job in Boston." Apollo shrugged. Then looked away and rubbed his neck. "…After his hotel room was shot up by some mortal mafia men."

Artemis could only make a small sound of disbelief as her head felt ready to split in half.

"C'mon, sis, he's your kid." Apollo grinned, but she saw the weak falter in his eyes. "He's handled us easily and lived on his own for practically a decade now. I'm sure he's fine."

What happened after that failed attempt at reassurance, Artemis could not say for she had completely blacked out.

It wasn't often that the twins interacted in mixed personas. Roman and Greek split personalities usually didn't mesh well. Take the Civil War, for example. That was a mess on its own without the Gods' say in it.

Not to mention their already rocky sibling relationship took on drastic new elements whenever one as a Greek would interact with another as a Roman. Whenever the Roman aspect of Apollo interacted with Artemis, he greatly aggravated her, and he knew it. More often than not, Phoebus Apollo got his Greek counterpart in trouble just for the laughs.

The same could not be said of the inverted pair, for surprisingly Diana was more forgiving of the Greek Apollo's antics. This was mostly because she attributed his foolishness to his being born in a 'barbaric land' and during an 'unenlightened era'. However, there was one topic where Diana was somehow more attentive than Artemis was, and that was whenever the subject of her adopted son came up. Diana, more often than not, would be the aspect to pick and choose what days Apollo could whisk the boy away for some cultural lessons. She also had the tendency to be more actively protective of him.

The first time Apollo had lost track of the boy, he awoke after a week of riding bitch to Phoebus' panicked flight from their twin's Roman fury. He'd awoken, face down in the middle of a crater, sore all over, and had to seek out Asclepius for help. The only positive to come out of that whole incident was that he was accredited for New Rome's new public pool.

Now, there was probably little chance of him emerging from the coming punishment a victor in any way, shape or form.

"Apollo." The cool, stern voice that left the goddess' lips made the god of the Sun backpedal towards her temple's door.

"D-Diana! H-Hey, Sis! Long time, no see! I was just about to get a head start on scoping out Boston—" his back hit something solid. Strange, he could've sworn there was an entryway there. His eyes widened in horrified realization. It would seem that fleeing was no longer an option.

But groveling still is. Apollo's sense of self-preservation screamed at him.

"Diana, please!" Apollo pleaded, still trying to pass through the solid wall behind him as the Roman stalked forward. "We already know he knew Freyr, let's just ask Father—"

A calloused pair of pale fingers pressed his lips together with a firm grip.

"Jupiter will not save you from the punishment that is to come, Graceus." Diana's silver eyes glowed.

"Y-you shwore on the Shtyx!"

"Artemis was the one who swore to show you leniency. I have not." Apollo felt his ichor freeze as Diana smirked. She released his face and snapped her fingers. The temple opened once more. "But, given our shared parentage, I will be fair and give you an eight second head start. Better yet, if you can find Naruto before my Hunters, I will even spare your life."

"S-Seriously, sis?" That was a dark joke, even for Diana. Zeus, let alone Jupiter, wouldn't let the sun god die so swiftly.

Then again, the lone rational portion of Apollo's brain noted, He's already in super paranoid mode because of what happened to Artemis last winter and Thalia Grace's exposure to Egyptian magic.

"One."

Apollo sprinted to his chariot so fast, he may have very well turned into particles of light. He'd barely turned over the engine when the first arrow smashed through the windshield and hit the upholstery in the back.

"Oh, come on, Diana!" Apollo scowled as he fixed the damage to his ride and tried to think of an appropriate disguise for it. "That is so not okay! Leave my chick magnet out of it!"

The next arrow that smashed through the windshield managed to clip a few golden hairs off of his head and stabbed into the headrest above his right ear.

With his astounding sight, Apollo stared at the goddess who'd yet to leave her temple. Diana's cold silver gaze had little hint of forgiveness in it, and dare he say it resembled the look she had on her face after she'd dealt with that jack-hole Actaeon. She drew another arrow and pulled back on the string.

Instantly, trillions of possible futures started flooding into Apollo's head, giving him a small migraine. There were not many where this next shot of hers ended well for him. Survival instincts overrode his enormous pride, and he floored it.

He had to find his nephew before his twin actually killed him!

January 14th, 2008

"Well, that's problematic."

Naruto stared at the massive gate that was chained and padlocked shut by the city, judging by the closed notice hanging from the lock. A historical placard made of bronze-tinted steel was screwed into the brick beside it, explaining the history of the eight story brick mansion that apparently hid — from the more preternaturally unaware — a hotel.

The teen scowled and looked down at the dead cellphone in his hand. He'd attempted to call Alf once he got here, but his battery was dead. Given that his apartment was attacked by The Tracksuit Mafia, put in the JCPDs holding cell for a night, and travelling down the east coast by foot — Alf had insisted upon it so he could finalize some details with the Hotel — he shouldn't have been too surprised. It was still irritating all the same.

Uncle Fred probably broke the voicemail by now, Naruto thought with a snort as he pocketed his phone. His uncle was probably going to be upset that he left the apartment, but he really had no one to blame but himself. He might not have been a demigod, but he wasn't known for his vast attention span either. He crossed his arms and glared at the lock again.

Just hop the gate, Boy! The Fox snarled, adding lowly under his breath. Sage, preserve me from this simpleton's stupidity!

"You're in a mood." Naruto mused, filing the softer comment away as something to ask about later, and looked around. The last thing he needed was to be busted by a local cop for breaking and entering. Seeing none in sight, odd given it was Monday, he jumped up and grabbed the top of the gate. With the strength and agility that most professional gymnasts would envy, Naruto pulled himself over the iron gate and landed with hardly a sound. It was only upon his landing did his comment get a response from his grumbling companion.

I'm only in a "mood" because you've been gawking at that stupid gate for ten minutes!

"That can't be the only reason."

Well it is!

"And people call gods petty." Naruto mumbled as he walked up to the giant wooden doors bearing iron. He grabbed one of the wolf-head door knockers and used it to its design, before waiting.

And waiting.

Ten minutes passed and a raven cawed behind him. Naruto glanced at the tree where the bird sat. Ethereal green eyes stared back from the bird's head.

"Well, that's only extremely unsettling." He turned to face the raven fully. "I don't know if you're Hugin or Munin, but regardless you can get Odin to open this door for me, right? I'm here for the lifeguard job."

The raven tilted its head and scrutinized him anew for another moment. Without prompting, it took off to the sky and disappeared behind the manor. He stared at its last known location and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Why did I think that would work?"

It wasn't a terrible idea. The Fox snorted. Except for the whole bird part of it. I hate birds. They're loud and annoying.

"You're definitely going through something." Naruto sighed as he started rubbing his head. Before he could consider what to do next, there was a soft creek at the door behind him. He let his hand fall and arched a brow. "That's convenient."

Think it's a trap?

"Could be." It wouldn't be too surprising.

Gonna spring it?

"Probably." It was the only way to get into the building.

Gonna eat whoever set it up?

"We've gone over this, Fox." His eyes rolled. That was an argument they shared over the course of their trip to Boston. Particularly whenever they stumbled across any wayward hikers. The Fox would make a snide comment, then suggest eating them, and Naruto would refuse.

Right, right. The Fox huffed. Gonna kill whoever set it up?

"I'm going to speak with them. If it gets violent, it gets violent."

I'll take what I can get.

Naruto shook his head and went to the door. He'd barely nudged it open when an otherworldly force took hold of the front of his shirt. He planted his feet and tightened his grip on the rim of the doors, scowling at the dark interior. The wood splintered in his grasp and he felt something beneath his feet give.

Yes! It's a trap! Oh-ho-ho, these guys are so dead now!

"I hate magic." Naruto grumbled before he was pulled in and the door slammed shut behind him.

Two blue eyes glared at the knock upon her office door.

"Gunilla!" A muffled voice called from the other side. "You're needed in the foyer!"

Gunilla Thorsdottir, Captain of Odin's Valkyries, Thane of Valhalla, all around badass extraordinaire, groaned in frustration. Not twenty minutes prior, she had explicitly requested not being bothered while going over reports from her Valkyries. There were so many potential souls to fight for Valhalla, and so many more reports to go through. Normally, it was Odin's job to determine who would be welcomed in the heroic mead hall and who would go to Freyja's land, Fólkvangr, but the Allfather was away, on one of his many 'wandering trips'. That left the sorting of souls to the Valkyrie captain, and, while she would happily vote for their placement within Hotel Valhalla as one of the Thanes, Gunilla's eyes were starting to cross from going over four hundred reports in the past hour.

There were thousands more yet still to be read. It wouldn't be half as bad if there was an order to it. Resigned to dealing with the mess before her later, Gunilla rose from her desk and opened her office door. She glared at the Valkyrie that stood before her, a girl of seventeen years with dark hair and green eyes.

"I had explicitly requested not to be disturbed, Irene." She growled.

"Yes, I know, but…there's a mortal in the foyer."

"Whoever brought them in shall submit their report as the others do—" Gunilla drawled, only for Irene to cut her off.

"It's the boy that was with Nightshade."

"What?" Thorsdottir blinked. Irene repeated herself and Gunilla stared at her for another minute more. Slowly, a smirk spread across her face and she crossed her arms.

"Well, who was the one to bring him in?" She'd have to push to get them something nice. A spa brochure or something.

"He entered alone and—" Irene hesitated. "Alive."

"…Beg pardon?"

"He's still alive."

Gunilla's arms fell to her sides and her smirk fell into a scowl. She twisted her arms and a maul of Bone Steel appeared in one hand while a sword of the same make appeared in the other.

"Then let us remedy that."

"Alf is dead to me."

Naruto caught the blade of yet another burly teenage boy wearing a green Hotel Valhalla shirt and floral swim trunks with the underside of his axe. His open hand lashed out like a pit viper's and he struck the boy's throat. While he choked on air, Naruto used his stomach as a stepping stone, walking up his physique to launch himself over to the front desk, where his target watched with a sneer on his face.

This all came about because the concierge, who was apparently a rule-stickler in the worst way, couldn't accept that a clear-sighted mortal had been brought into Hotel Valhalla alive. He knew the Norse and their ilk took the word stubborn and stretched the meaning of the word to new levels, but this was getting ridiculous.

"If you are not worthy, we will make you worthy!" Another armed teenager roared as she tackled him out of the air. Naruto hit the ground with a grunt, but kicked the girl away. He got back to his feet in time for a series a thumps to catch his attention. He looked around with a frown on his face.

There were suddenly a lot of armored girls around him. One in particular stood out above the others, both literally and figuratively. By guesstimation, she was near his age, but built with more muscle than he had. Her hair a paler hue of blonde compared to his vibrant gold, and her eyes thunderous blues like that of his half-blooded friend.

It's almost as if that female you were courting buffed up, took a flat iron pan to the face, covered herself in hammers and then poorly dyed her hair! The Fox snorted. It took all of Naruto's willpower not to laugh aloud at the images that conjured up. That was made an easy task when one word stood out amongst the rest. He glared sharply at his arm.

"What do you mean 'courting'?"

Were you not? Was it just to be a…blast, the Bitch had her own term for this. The Fox grumbled. The word eludes me. Look alive, the oni is speaking.

"Mortal," the girl said with a scowl, her voice echoing over the copious jeering and drawing his attention once more. "You trespass on sacred ground. You will have one chance to explain yourself."

"I'm here for the lifeguard position," he said. He looked around at the dumbfounded stares sent his way and shrugged. "If it's already been filled, I'll just leave."

"…Who sent you?" The girl asked, frowning.

"Freyr."

"Describe him."

"Hawkish nose, blond hair, crooked chin."

You forgot a sneaky bastard. The Fox pointed out. Naruto ignored him.

"Odd." The girl willed away her weapons and crossed her arms before looking him over. "You were dead not a month prior to today, I saw it. How did you survive?"

"Magic." He brandished his marked forearm for a moment before tucking it away.

"Is that so?" she asked. He nodded. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "We shall see what the Thanes think."

"Thanes?" Naruto frowned, unfamiliar with the term.

"The ruling council/board of the Hotel," She explained, gesturing for him to follow. He did, slipping his axe back to its earring form and placing it back on his left ear. The Valkyrie kept speaking as he followed her. "Lord Odin has the final say, but when the Thanes rule something, it often goes over smoothly."

"Uh-huh." Naruto was half listening, focused on the pelt-covered, armored lass in front of him. What was with a female's hip sway? Why did it always draw his eye? Stupid hormones. Alf would be forgiven for everything he put the mortal through if he'd just do away with the accursed chemical changes going on in Naruto's brain.

Ugh, and I thought the Red-Headed Bitch's hormonal years with that blond idiot were bad. The Fox grumbled. I can only imagine what your younger years were like.

Okay, one: who is this poor woman you keep referencing and what did she ever do to you? Two: They weren't, and still aren't, over fast enough.

"Were you listening?" The Valkyrie asked, standing in front of a large set of double doors. When'd they get here? When had she turned around? How long had he not been paying attention? "Mortal, stop staring at my face."

Stupid &%*$ hormones!

And here I was thinking you were the blond idiot's child. The Fox snorted. Clearly, you got his looks alone.

"Sorry, I zone out a lot when I'm not fighting."

"You're a terrible liar."

"...What was your name again?" Naruto asked in an attempt to change the subject. The girl smirked and crossed her arms.

"Brave of you to ask after staring at my arse." She leaned in a bit towards him. "Then again, most lack the stones to ask for it at all."

Amazon alarms were blaring in his head.

"I suddenly have the feeling I'm not going to like working here."

"Shame. As far as I'm concerned, you're hired." The Valkyrie said with a small smile. He leaned back from her, how in the world was he supposed to respond to that?! Her smile cracked a bit more and her shoulders gave a slight tremor as she leaned back. "Let's just hope the rest of the Thanes agree. Be a waste to have you killed and sent to the Ginnungagap."

"Bless you?"

"You have by coming here." The Valkyrie smirked and tapped his nose, making him go cross-eyed while he spluttered. "Don't fret, Mortal, 'tis but some fun. You're too young for my tastes." Her smirk fell with her next words as a look of grave seriousness followed. "Cute as you are, I'll still kill you if you were to do anything to advance the coming of Ragnarök."

Oh-ho-ho, I'm starting to like this one. The Fox chuckled while Naruto faltered for words while his hormones waged rebellion in his mind against his greater ego. He would not let this back and forth end with him being made the fool by a technicality.

"I am not cute." He growled. What? No! Stupid hormone addled brain! Focus!

"You're right." Ha! She agreed! "You're adorable." What? "Like a kitten." What?!

The Fox burst into laughter.

"I...You…" Naruto settled for glaring daggers at the girl, who smiled at him and patted his cheek condescendingly. He knocked her hand away as he felt his blood boil.

"You're a feisty one. You may just last longer than the last Life Guard." That was a red flag. The Valkyrie turned and put her hands on the door behind her. A mighty shove and the doors creaked open before the Valkyrie turned back to him. "The name is Gunilla Thorsdottir, Mortal. Welcome to Hotel Valhalla."

January 20th, 2008

Naruto quickly found out that a "Life Guard" was not Hotel Valhalla's version of a pool's safety official.

No, the "Life Guard" was essentially the primary target in a widespread game of Killer. Only in this game, the masses used actual weapons in an attempt to kill one individual. The reason the hotel hired outside help to act as "Life Guards" was to evaluate the heroes of the modern age and the skills of the heroes within the Hotel. Not to mention, it was a moot point to use an already chosen occupant in a hotel where the legitimate occupants could never die.

Yeah, fun fact he learned in his first hour on the job, the Hotel's occupants – called Einherjar – were resurrected upon their deaths. He'd nearly had a panic attack after one axe-happy viking-looking teenager – "You got a hell of a swing, Mortal! Name's Halfborn Gunderson," he'd introduce himself later – attempted to blindside him, and literally lost his head and hands for his troubles.

Gunilla was kind enough to enforce a 'time out' to explain that to him. An hour later, she tried to crush his skull with her maul while he was preoccupied with looking for a bathroom. At that moment, Naruto didn't regret decapitating her.

That was a week prior. It was day eight and Naruto still remained alive. The only times he could rest were during the breaks for meals and combat practice; the second was the only one he was allowed to observe, but not participate in.

There'd been several close calls. Members of the 64th Floor had attempted to drop a slab of limestone on him no less than four hours after his 'game' started. Halfborn and his fellows from the 19th Floor dogged him endlessly on the second day. Gunilla would make a daily challenge to him in single combat, thus far it had only happened in the most inopportune times. Other Einherjar utilized pathetically generic schemes in an attempt to kill him, i.e., numbers. It had only nearly worked the first time, when he hadn't been aware of their resurrection abilities.

At the moment, Naruto was curled up in a storage closet on the 104th Floor, attempting to catch some sleep. He was almost surprised by a literal bomb in his supplied bedroom on the 19th Floor, warned only by the faint smell of gunpowder and The Fox's astute senses. For the past three days, he'd been too paranoid to stay in one place for too long, and moved floors every six to seven hours.

A creak in the floorboard outside the storage closet's door made him crack his eyes open. He tightened his grip on the handle of his axe. Soft whispering made him control his breathing.

"-could be busted for this-"

"-ou should be focused on the Life-"

"-I won't work with a blasph-!"

Ill intent. The Fox rumbled. Not aimed at us.

Naruto closed his eyes, but continued to listen. The voices bickered for a moment longer before wood broke and a scream rang out. Metal clashed for several seconds and grunts sounded beneath it. The familiar sound of nonconsensual bloodletting signaled the end of the conflict.

Curiosity getting the best of him, Naruto slunk over to the door and peered through the keyhole.

A lone figure wearing a green shawl around their head panted as they pulled their weapon from the back of another Einherjar that lay on the floor. Their back was to the door. Flapping wings were heard and they gasped. Quickly, she stumbled back and reached for the door handle.

Scared. The Fox salivated. They always taste better when they're scared.

We. Are. Not. Eating. Corpses.

Spoilsport. They're coming in.

What? Naruto threw himself away from the door as it flung open and quickly shut. The figure leaned on the other side and pressed their ear to the door. More flapping sounded before the figure sighed and made to open the door.

Honed reflexes were the only reason Naruto's head lacked an axe protruding from it. His hand still bled as it tightened around the arabic girl's axe. She was a young thing, definitely not much older than Annabeth, but the look in her eyes spoke of a maturity most didn't have.

"Life Guard." She mumbled. She looked at the axe he still held and pulled it. He ignored the sting as he kept it in place. The girl frowned at him. "I seek no conflict with you, Life Guard."

"Perhaps not." He uttered. "But those Einherjar may think otherwise."

"Those Einherjar are driven by the beliefs they died with." The girl mumbled, almost sourly. She sighed. "Please release my axe, I swear on my family name that I mean you no harm. I'm here to report, and then go home. That's all."

"Home?" Naruto frowned as he released her axe's blade. The Fox healed his wounds and she slid her weapon back over her shoulder before looking at him again.

"I'm like you."

His brow furrowed for a moment before it clicked. She wasn't an Einherji. Looking her over, he noticed her armor resembled a more modernized version of Gunilla's, and her shawl was actually a hijab considering how it tucked tightly around her face.

"You're alive."

"Yes." The girl nodded. "Samriah al-Abbas."

"You're an Arabic Valkyrie?" He asked. She hesitated and he sighed before he crossed his arms. "Listen, if it makes you feel better, my name is Naruto. Not 'Life Guard'."

"Oh." Samriah blinked. "That's..."

"Unexpected?" Naruto smirked when she nodded. "I get that a lot. Want to tell me why those Einherjar were gunning for you?"

"It's because I'm the daughter of Loki."

"Really?" Naruto felt his eyebrows shoot to his hairline.

"Really." She nodded. He leaned back and considered how much that had to suck. The girl leaned against the door. "Can I ask you something now?"

"Is it about me being in the closet?"

"I don't care what your sexual prefrences are."

"...I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that." Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose while The Fox roared with laughter. "What's your real question?"

"How are you still alive?"

"Magic."

"...Really?" Samriah blinked.

"That's the gist of it." He shrugged. "Don't you have a report to make?"

"Yeah. I don't think Gunilla's going to be happy with it though."

"Gunilla gives you a hard time?"

"I'm a daughter of Loki. She's a daughter of Thor." Samriah shrugged. "Marvel didn't just make that rivalry famous for the heck of it."

"No kidding." Naruto mumbled, recalling his uncle's rants against the gods in question whenever he tried to get him invested in cartoons by binge-watching them. At at least, attempting to. They usually just put him to sleep. Except for one time where a Spider-Man cartoon featured The Lizard. He was up for a whole night, afraid about being caught off guard by the nightmare-inducing madman known as Curt Connors.

Naruto shook the thought from his mind and sought desperately to distract himself from it.

"So, it's that bad that you two are pulled into it?"

"Hm? Oh, no. She was hoping to use our similarity to make a foundation of friendship so that you would reveal your abilities."

"…Huh?"

"We've noticed how lenient you get in fights whenever you have to interact with younger girls."

"I don't...I'm not—!"

"Don't worry, I think it's an unconscious psychological thing," Samriah shrugged. "I told her I'd try, but that we probably wouldn't get anywhere, and I was right. You're maddeningly unhelpful."

"All praise to my uncle in that regard." Naruto deadpanned.

"Then she decided to just use me as a distraction to catch you off guard." Samriah continued. "I figure it fair to warn you that she's waiting with a good dozen Valkyrie to come in and attack us while we're talking."

"...What?"

"Loki and Thor." Samriah shrugged. The hint of a smirk played at her features. "Personally, I'm rooting for you. Gunilla's a jerk."

Ill intent inbound! Code Red! Code Red!

"Thanks. Uh, mind…?" Naruto nodded to the side. Samriah stepped to the side, allowing him to run out of the door and leave one of the weirdest exchanges of his life. Although, that could've been attributed to his sleep deprivation.

March 12th, 2008

Bodies of Einherjar and Valkyrie alike littered the foyer. They were wholly unprepared for the carnage that came early that morning. Explosions riddled the dining hall, disrupting the morning meal, and rune stones across the Hotel fell inert as safety precautions activated. All save for the master stone, Odin's personal key, which had been stolen from his quarters. The culprit of these atrocities?

A very unhappy employee.

"Why. Won't. You. Die?" Gunilla huffed with every slash she made at the blond Life Guard. Her target caught her stab through the palm of his hand and drove his foot into her gut. She stumbled back and glared at the boy facing her.

His body was leaner and muscles more pronounced due to the slight malnourishment he suffered. His hair had grown to a shaggy length and peach fuzz grew on his jaw, chin and the sides of his mouth. His shirt was the only article of clothing that lacked any damage, despite the many attempts made on his life. The skin exposed by his torn jeans was littered with scars, a fate his arms and right eye shared. She'd acquired his original right eye in their ninth duel, and witnessed his incredible regenerative gift firsthand.

That trophy was pickled in a jar and would rest on her desk until Ragnarök came.

"I told you." His voice was scratchy and dry. "I tried that already. It was boring—"

The Life Guard cut his own words short to turn and catch Mallory Keen in the skull with his axe. He jumped up and over her head, his axe dislodged and caused the daughter of Frigg to stumble into Gunilla's way. The blood spray blinded the daughter of Thor, leaving her open to another assault that knocked her to the ground. Through bleary eyes she stared at the lean figure that stood over her.

"So I stood back up."

He turned his back on her and limped toward the main doors. Another Einherjar flew at the Life Guard, only to be caught by a swinging log — one of many traps that was set up before the main attack and further dwindled their numbers — and crushed into a wall. The blond Life Guard put his hand on the door and turned back to her. He pointed at her with his axe.

"In case it wasn't clear," he said through gritted teeth. "I quit. You win. Game. Over."

"Co-" Gunilla scowled at him. "Coward!"

"I'm not immortal!" He roared, rounding on her. "I'm not Einherjar! This was just a job! I quit that job! You don't like it? Tough! That's how life works! You want something and it's ripped away from you, so you have to adapt! Deal with it!"

"Fool! The game won't end—" She huffed and pushed herself to her feet. "Until you die."

"Really?" He asked, scowling. She nodded. His eyes narrowed, he held his hands out to his sides. "…Then come and kill me, Thorsdottir."

Gunilla managed one step, before she found herself without a leg. She toppled ungracefully to the ground and glared at him as he caught his axe on its rebound.

"You…belong here. Not with mortals." She pulled herself towards him and manifested her wings. "Here!"

Silver knives flew and her wings were riddled with holes, rendered useless.

"Life Guard—!"

"My name is Naruto! Learn it! Remember it! Hate it!" He pressed his fingers into his chest as he bared his teeth like a rabid beast. "Because I've done the one thing few others can claim! I beat you,Valkyrie! I! Beat! All of you!"

With his boast delivered, Naruto huffed and slumped against the locked doors to regain his breath. Gunilla watched him with a scowl. So long as the security was still active, he would be trapped. The Einherjar would recover soon enough, and even she would reform whole if given enough time. Then they could attack while he was weak and make him eat those words.

A raven flew down from the upper floors and landed on the handle of the door Naruto leaned upon. It's eyes shone with power as it cawed. The latch clicked.

"No." Gunilla balled her hands into fists. "Lord Odin, why?!"

"Because he is correct." The wise voice of The Allfather rumbled. She looked up and saw the one-eyed man standing in a green polo and slacks. He looked down at her, and gave her a knowing look. "He's still a mortal."

"But-but, Lord Odin—!"

"Fret not, Captain." The Allfather smiled. "His time will come and when it does, I will send you to collect him."

Gunilla was too flustered to manage a single word. Odin lost his smile as he walked over to the mortal and clapped a hand on his shoulder, a gesture that Gunilla had seen him do many times before to the gods that he ruled over. They stared at one another, before Odin cracked another small smile. This one full of nothing pleasant like the one he bore for her.

"I will warn you once, Boy," The Allfather said lowly as he put one hand on the door. "If you tell your 'family' any of Valhalla's secrets, not even Olympus' strongest magic will protect you from my wrath. Are we understood?"

"…Yes, sir."

"Good." Odin's smile became warm as he pushed the door open. "Live strong, and die well, Naruto Huntersson. We will meet again one day."

"Thank you for your benevolence, Lord Odin." Naruto mumbled, stumbling out into the Boston air without looking back.

AN: So ends our time in Hotel Valhalla. For now.

Thanks for reading, be sure to favorite, review and follow!