5

Ianto walked the site as everyone watched silently. There were six houses, five couples to 'reno' them. The first week would be renovating the 'sample' house and over the weeks there would be challenges that would involve the couples teaming up to get work done, the sample house would basically pay for the show as the other houses would sell for whatever they could, once the cost of goods was taken off then the reminder would go to the contestants, the couple who makes the most money would also win another $200,000 cash on top of their house money.

"The worst house at first glance is number five in the back… none of them will want it so the first challenge should be for a choice of houses too. Winner chooses first… then second… etcetera until the last couple gets the one left, like it or not" Ianto called out. "Our judges need to be in on it."

"So… you intend losing the first challenge?" Douglas asked with surprise.

"Yes. I like house five, it has good bones. I will throw the first challenge, then let them think we got the booby prize. It will piss them off more when we do well" Ianto laughed.

"Drama… fuck he's right… drama" Douglas eagerly agreed. God, this man had such an eye for a good angle. And Jack… Mister Camera Hog… yeah… Douglas knew this show would pay for that new villa his beloved wants for the holidays in Spain.

"So… how does this work? Earwigs so we can low-chatter and a safe word to let you know when I need to be pulled off the frontline to tell you something. And then as we see the way they are going, we can either put them on a slow boil or chuck cold water over them" Jack asked, rubbing his hands.

"Yeah. You are a host without them knowing so at times you will have conversations that are actually interviews. We can prompt you then as well, also prompt a visit to a house in trouble so you can be there in the background to commentate" Douglas stated to really get the feel for this. "Button cameras and hot mic all the time… shit we have hidden cameras all over the place, we can really make this a show within a show."

"We will mess with their heads ya know" Ianto warned, then grinned "this could be fun… of course we will be serious.. ah … we will also be bastards to see the dramatic responses. Some shit-stirring will be good… the audience will not know at first, then in time they will work it out and will get invested in the team they like… will see us behind the scenes towards the end and realize that it is not exactly rigged but… we are pulling the strings. Then! Then…. Shit… the last five episodes are played … oooo…. Hang on."

"You've had a brain fart" Jack said eagerly "what is it lover?"

"Well… from the middle? From the middle episode onwards we go week to week film and play… they can vote for their favourite team! The team that gets the most votes wins a people's choice? Then they get something… a bonus prize." Ianto said with glee "The people will see them behind the scenes, the real them that we see when they don't know there is a camera in our shirt button… the people will chose the faves. Means the last three weeks of drama and intensity as we will be virtually working live but… imagine the ratings. We keep them cloistered so they do not know about us until the final week or so."

"Shit, create a second way to fuck with them. I love it!" Douglas laughed "I can put up a scoreboard and update it daily."

Jack roared with mirth as he clapped his hands "Oh man… that will mess with them."

"Of course, in the end they will all win something. We will ensure they all come away with money" Ianto said as he settled back to cluck at the baby in his lap that was now waking up.

"Ahhhhh…. Hello there Nate" Douglas crooned, excited when Ianto carefully gathered the bub and offered him to his uncle. Douglas settled back to adore the silent little boy who blinked slowly and then to his great delight… smiled. "Ah…. Look. My first smile from him."

Ianto did not correct him that it was just gas. He did not spout the correct age for a real smile or lack hereof. No. He knew it was a smile, he got them too. Nate was an old soul who knew his own mind already.

"J.D. just blows raspberries at me already" Jack said.

"Well, now that is advanced" Ianto said quickly, nodding enthusiastically as Jack lit up and looked over at the baby in question who was in his favourite thing… yeah… the jolly jumper and was twirling faster and faster as he kicked his legs, his face one of concentration.

"You're right. Look at him, already got that working and only fourteen weeks old" Jack said with pride.

"I will miss them, I am glad we will still see them every day… hey… can we do something where we leave the site and tell them its something personal… act pissy. Get them speculating and stuff… oh god… we can really find the fakes and the nice ones" Ianto rose to get the child out of the jolly jumper before he makes himself sick.

Six weeks of this tomfoolery.

Oh yes, he is going to be a right bastard with this. He will make everyone's life hell and hopefully if it is renewed they will NEVER be asked to do it again.

Ianto always has so many ideas.

Clever fucker.