Chapter 21

How Do You Do It?

It wasn't a practice like any of their other practices. Zakuro had called it, as she so commonly did – Zakuro had said she wanted the Mews to work on a few things. Zakuro always wanted to work on a few things, but the girls knew that her drive for perfection was what drove them to be better – better than they had been before, better than the other girl groups out there. To the teenage girls that were the Mew Mews, all the practicing was getting old, and more than old. But they knew what Zakuro had done for them, and so they went along.

But this practice was different. They had gathered at the Café Mew Mew as they always did, but Rei wasn't there, and Zakuro wasn't either. The girls were half-whispering in deeply concerned tones, wondering if Rei was even alive. The minutes ticked by, and neither of the missing girls arrived; and the girls glanced more and more anxiously at the door to the room. The girls' voices became more and more agitated as the time went by.

And then the door opened. The girls turned suddenly, and they saw Zakuro walk in. It was hard for any of them to read Zakuro's face, and none of them could read her heart at all. But it was clear to all of them that something was wrong, and not one of them said a word as Zakuro approached them.

The tension in the air was thick, but none of the girls dared ask Zakuro anything – none, that is, except Pudding. Pudding was no longer the innocent child that she had been, but could still play that role when she wanted to; and in any case, she was noticeably less inhibited than the rest of them. And so she was the one who asked, "Well? Where have you been?"

The question was abrupt and somewhat accusatory, and Pudding had not used any honorific when speaking to Zakuro. For a second anger flashed in Zakuro's dark eyes, but it left as swiftly as it came. Still, there was annoyance in Zakuro's voice when she answered, "I suppose I could say that it's none of your business, Pudding-san. But…" She sighed before continuing, "In fact, it is your business. I've been on the phone, trying to arrange a replacement… for Hino Rei."

"She's dead, then?" Lettuce gasped.

Zakuro looked down at the floor. "I don't know. I've been trying to find out. Kino Makoto would know, and I've been trying to get in touch with her, but all my calls have been going to voice mail."

"If you don't know, why are you replacing her?" Lettuce demanded.

Once again, a bit of anger flashed in Zakuro's eyes. Yet her voice was not raised when she answered, "As Rei said at the last performance, the show… must go on. We have a lot of events booked, and it would be too late to start looking for a replacement if we waited until we were sure Rei was… dead."

"But how can we replace her if we're not sure she's dead?" Pudding asked, very accusingly. "If she's still alive, how can we just throw her out?"

"Because… she's a damned Sailor Senshi!" Ichigo broke in harshly. "And she fought against us, and she tried to kill me! And she hurt you three – really badly! Replace her? She should have never been here anyway!"

"Ichigo!" Zakuro spat the name out. "She's in this group, she's one of us! But until we know she's really… gone, we won't replace her. I was just lining up a… prospective replacement. If we find out that Rei is… dead, we'll sign the other girl."

Fire burned in Ichigo's dark eyes, but she said nothing; and so Minto continued the conversation by asking, "The new girl… who is she?"

"Her name… is Itomi Nozomi," Zakuro answered. "She's closer to my age than the rest of you, but she looks younger than she is, and she's talented enough, and pretty enough. She's not as good or as pretty as Hino Rei, but… she could do the job."

"I think that we all should have been in on the choice!" Ichigo objected.

Zakuro's answer was hard, indeed harsh. "Ichigo… I was the one who made this group happen. I put it together, chose the members, taught you girls everything you needed to know. I think we've done well so far – or don't you agree?"

Ichigo glared at Zakuro, but said nothing at first. Then she said, in a low, bitter voice, "You think you're so great! Look, we all know why you put this group together, and it wasn't for our benefit. You were all put out because they dumped you from that movie, and you wanted to prove them wrong. You heard me singing, and you decided to use me to get back at them. You think this group is all about you! Well, listen, you old hag! You're washed up! Nobody cares about you any more! My Fakebook page gets lots more hits than yours. You aren't the star any more!"

Zakuro's face turned beet-red, and it looked as if she was about to explode all over Ichigo and her arrogance. But just as she opened her mouth to speak, the door to the room opened. And Hino Rei walked in.

She came in tentatively. She knew well enough that she did not really belong with this group, that she owed her fame to these people that she hated, or at least had hated in the past. And after what had happened that day up at the shrine, when she had been painfully sure that she was going to be killed, she felt very little confidence at all. Still, she approached the Mews.

And she noticed that something was very wrong. Clearly, there had been great emotional pain among them. She could see the flushed faces, the anger in the eyes of Zakuro, the fear in the eyes of Lettuce. And so she said, "Hi… is something wrong?"

There was a very pregnant pause, and then Zakuro said, "No, Rei-chan. Not any more." Zakuro took a deep breath, and then asked, "Can you tell us… what happened today? You told us that… they were going… to kill you."

Rei took a deep breath of her own, and said, "I… don't really want to."

But Zakuro said, "You owe us this, Rei. We're a group, in a way we're in this together. We really need to know."

Rei turned her back for a second. It looked as if she would leave; but then, she said, staring at the floor, "I… Minako and I… we were kicked out of the Senshi, we had to turn in our transforming pens, like what happened with Makoto. It was the punishment for using our powers to fight each other…"

"But you told us that because you hurt your precious Princess, you had to… die," Minto said.

Rei turned back to the other girls and stared at them. "For that crime… Sailor Moon… forgave us. I don't know why, except that she said that she'd rather die herself than kill her friends. But I don't understand why… she would forgive."

"I think, maybe, I might have an idea of that," Zakuro said. "But isn't Sailor Moon running out of Senshi? She kicked out Makoto, and now you and the Venus girl…"

"She took Makoto back," Rei said. "She was there, transformed. She's Sailor Jupiter again."

Zakuro's eyes grew dark for a second. She wondered why Makoto had not told her, and made up her mind to talk to Makoto that evening after practice, even if she had to go to her house and confront the girl from Jupiter face-to-face. She did go on with another question, though. "Do you know why Sailor Moon took Makoto back?"

Rei's dark eyes were quite bitter. "She needs her," she said. "She needs her support. The Outer Senshi don't respect her and, I think, want to be rid of her rule. They were really mad that Minako and I were forgiven. And with Mina and me gone, she needed some support that she could really count on against the Outers and their plots." Once again she was silent for a second, and then said, "I suppose you think it's strange that magical-girl princesses can have ugly politics…"

Zakuro shook her head. "Magical-girl princesses are human. They have the same conflicts other humans have – they just have more power to make those conflicts uglier. And you are teenage girls. The same jealousies and power struggles that other teens have, you have in spades. It's just that instead of settling things with a little backstabbing through some ugly gossip, or a cruel insult, or at worst, a harmless fight with a little hair-pulling, magical girls can fight with frightening powers – powers that no human being should have, but… we have them."

Rei stood in silence as she took in Zakuro's wisdom. She wanted to hate the Mew Mew, but she was beginning to admire her in spite of herself. So once again, she took a deep breath, and asked, "Well – do you want me back?"

"Want you back? You were never gone from us!" Zakuro said. "We want you, we need you!" And the other Mew Mews gathered around Rei, and cheered her, giving her hugs. And Zakuro said, "We can't go on without our… star!"

Then Ichigo's voice burst in harshly. "What did you say? You say she's the star? I get 'way more hits on my Fakebook page! I'm the one that makes this work, and you all know it! I'm that one that separates you from all the rest of the girl groups! And you take me for granted! You fuss and fawn all over this enemy of ours, who nearly got herself killed being a stupid fool, and you ignore me! Well, that's fine! She can be your star – and you'll go nowhere!"

"Ichigo!" Zakuro barked, very harshly.

But before Zakuro could continue, Ichigo screamed, "Stick it, you old hag! Stick it where the sun don't shine! I don't need you, any of you! I'll have a solo career singing! And idol books, and movies, and… and… I'm through with all of you! I don't need you! I'm outta here!"

And with that outburst, Ichigo spun on her heel and marched out the door. The other girls called after her, but she did not look back.

For a second the girls were stunned into silence. But then all of them burst out at once, pouring abuse on Ichigo.

"Well, I never!" Lettuce blurted out.

"Well, she thinks she's really hot sh*t, doesn't she!" Minto screeched.

"What… what… Ichigo…?" Pudding was shouting.

And Rei joined in, "I never could stand her, but that's the worst!"

Louder and louder the girls' shouts screeched; but then, suddenly, they stopped. For Zakuro had fallen to her knees, and tears were flowing down her cheeks. And she kept whimpering, over and over, "What have I done?"

Lettuce began to question Zakuro, but before any words got out, Zakuro raised her voice in a pathetic shriek, "What have I done?" And then she rose to her feet and ran from the room, heading for the dressing room in the back.

And the girls were left staring at each other, their mouths hanging open. And none followed Zakuro.

Zakuro sat on a low stool in the darkness, her head bowed. The only light in the dressing room was the dingy glow of the exit light, and Zakuro did not want even that. The tears continued to trickle from her eyes and drop to the floor. She had been through so much in her life, many hard times, many bad times. But never had she been through anything like what she was going through now. Never had she hated herself – until now. What had she done, in her pride and her vanity?

Her mind turned and turned, from self-loathing to self-pity and back. She wished the other girls would come in to see her, then wished that she would never have to face them again. She knew that the group had many appearances planned, and the show must go on. But she knew that they could not do those shows without Ichigo.

And so she wept in the darkness, and hated herself. It was silent except for her breaths, her gasps, and occasionally her whimpers. The minutes stretched on endlessly – how long had she been in that dressing room? But she could not make herself leave.

And then, in her darkness, she felt something. A hand took her bowed head and gently pressed it against someone's side, a side that was warm and soft. Zakuro forced her head up and turned to look. The person's face was shadowed by the exit light behind her, but Zakuro she could tell who it was. It was Ichigo.

"Are you… all right?" Ichigo asked, so softly that Zakuro could hardly understand.

Zakuro's eyes closed again. "No… I'm not all right." She took a deep breath. "Ichigo… what have I done? What have I done… to you?"

Ichigo was silent for quite a while, and then spoke, still in that very low voice. "What have you done… to us, to me? You have done so much for me, over the years. But now, what have you done? You gave me a dream, a dream all teenage girls have, a dream to be a star. You gave me a chance that I never could have had in a million years. You gave Minto a chance to show off the dancing that she spent her whole life practicing. You gave Lettuce the chance to come out of her shell and shine. You gave Pudding the chance to finally have the money to take care of her little siblings. You gave – I hate to say it – Hino Rei her chance to fulfill her dream, and to prove herself to be the… star she always thought she was – even after she almost killed you. I could add that you did the same thing for your… friend… Kino Makoto. That's what you've done… for me, for them." She held Zakuro's head more tightly against her side.

Zakuro shook that head, and gasped, "No, Ichigo, no. I… Ichigo, you never changed. You were so full of life, you always had such a good heart, you were always so… faithful… to your boyfriend, to us. Nothing changed you. You became a magical superhero, it didn't change you. You took on Deep Blue, you saved the freaking world, and it didn't change you. You… died, and you were still… Ichigo. But now… what have I done to you? I've ruined you, I've…" Her voice died in sobs.

Again Ichigo was silent for a long time. Then her words came through a tightly-choked throat. "You didn't do that, Zakuro. You gave me the chance, nothing more. I did that to myself. Give me the honor of admitting… that it was my choice. You gave me the chance to be a star. I was the one that did… that other stuff…" Then her voice died as well.

Ichigo continued to hold Zakuro's head against her side, and now Zakuro reached up her own hand and put it over Ichigo's. It felt so good to have someone there. And Ichigo seemed almost like the old Ichigo, the one Zakuro had loved so much. But things were different, now.

Then Ichigo spoke, in a small, almost childlike voice. "Zakuro… can I come back?"

Zakuro spoke in a voice only a little stronger than Ichigo's. "You would have to apologize to them, and see if they'll take you back."

"But if you take me back, they'll have to go along with it!" Ichigo objected.

Zakuro shook her head slowly under Ichigo's hand. Her voice was soft and sad. "Not this time, Ichigo. You must seek their forgiveness… yourself."

"All of them?" Ichigo gasped. "I have to apologize to… Minto?"

"You know the answer to that, Ichigo," Zakuro replied.

"Even… even that damned Senshi?" Ichigo whined.

"Especially that Senshi," Zakuro answered quietly. "It's not so hard to apologize to someone like Lettuce, because you know she'll forgive you. Hino Rei may not. She's as proud as you are, maybe worse. But after what you said… you must."

Ichigo was silent as her mind struggled with the thought of begging the forgiveness of that arrogant Rei. Then another thought touched her mind, and she gasped suddenly.

"Something else wrong?" Zakuro asked.

"Yeah," Ichigo muttered. "I don't have to just apologize to you guys. Aoyama-kun – I was awful towards him. And that's not the worst. My Mom… I was horrible to her. I'll have to apologize… on my knees. I don't know how she didn't throw me out of the house…"

"You have dug yourself in a deep, deep hole, Ichigo," Zakuro said. "But there's a way out. I can't say what Minto will say when you apologize, or Hino Rei. Minto might never forgive you. Rei… might spit in your face. But the other two you mentioned… they'll smile and take you back in an instant. I can't imagine Aoyama ever stopped loving you, and your Mom – she'll love you more than ever when it's done, when her prodigal daughter comes home."

Ichigo held Zakuro's head even more tightly against her side, and both girls were silent for a long time. Then Ichigo spoke, in a quiet but strange, mystified tone.

"Zakuro… how do you do it?"

Zakuro actually looked up at Ichigo, rather stunned by the question. "How do I do … what?" she asked.

After a few seconds Ichigo answered, "You… you've been a star since you were… what, fourteen? You're a model and an actress, and a star at both. You're the definition of what it means to be an idol. You have the most famous face in Japan. It's all over Tokyo on every billboard, all over TV in every commercial, all over the movies and the internet. And now you're a famous singer. I can call myself a star, or Hino Rei… but Zakuro, you're what it means to be a star. Really, you're the star in Japan right now."

Zakuro was silent, so then Ichigo went on. "Zakuro… how do you do it? How did you do all of that, get all that glory and money and fame… and never become… an asshole?"

Zakuro was shocked; she had never heard Ichigo use the vulgar term. Then she took a breath, and said, "When I first joined the Mew Mews, I was sometimes like an…."

She didn't finish the line, but Ichigo understood and responded, "No, Zakuro. You were cold to us, and it took a long time for you to trust us. But you never did anything like… what I did tonight, or to Aoyama-kun, or to my Mom. Nothing like that, ever. How do you do it?"

"I have my pride, too, Ichigo," Zakuro came back. "You understand why I built this singing group, to prove myself after I was rejected from the movie. To get back Ohara Saburo and Ota Hideki and all of the rest of them who said I was old and washed up."

"But Zakuro… that was different. You did something creative with your anger, you made this group happen, you didn't act like I did tonight. You didn't become… an asshole. How do you do it? How?" Ichigo responded.

Zakuro was silent for a long time. Then she said, "I think… you have to have something bigger than yourself to believe in, so when the good things happen, you don't start thinking you're the center of the universe, that it's all about… you. If you don't start thinking it's all about you, you won't become an ass- … one of those."

"What do you mean, Zakuro?" Ichigo asked. "Something bigger than yourself…?"

Zakuro gently took Ichigo's hand off of her head and looked up at the girl beside her. Even in the dark, there seemed to be a light in her eyes. And Zakuro sighed, and said, "I'll tell you. I should have told you… long ago."

And the darkness around them began to turn to light.

THE END.

Author's note: The title of this story ("They Are Teenage Girls") is, in a very real sense, the theme of all of my Mew Mew stories. Every one turns around the question of how would real teenage girls behave if they had such powers as the girls in Mew Mew, Sailor Moon, Nanoha, or any of the Magical Girl animes? In my stories the girls behave as real teenagers might – they can be selfish, immature, lazy, envious, catty beyond belief. They can be driven by jealousy, the desire for revenge, vanity, or lust. In short, they behave as human beings do, with all of the immaturity and exaggerated emotions and drama that teenage girls seem to always bring with them.

Those who hate my stories generally hate the way I make the characters behave as teenage girls might if they had the super-powers. To me, that is what makes the stories interesting.

This is the last of these Mew Mew fanfiction stories I currently have planned. I may write no more. I thank all those who have read them over the years, even those that hated them.

Vaya con Dios.

tgwWhale