Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek

March 31st, 2252. Star Fleet Academy (Nobody's POV)

When the shuttlecraft landed, Julia and Jim Kirk were the first to disembark. Julia couldn't stand sitting in the shuttlecraft any longer - not with everyone staring at her. She'd lost her cool. Again. And it was likely to happen again if she didn't iron things out with Spock.

The only problem was she didn't know how to tell him what was going on. She was angry at herself for snapping at him, afraid that he was angry at her, and worried that she might mess things up for the both of them. But keeping silent and doing nothing wouldn't make anything better.

"Do you want me to walk you to your dorm?" Jim asked as they walked down the ramp. Julia shook her head, keeping her eyes straight ahead. She could feel hundreds of cadet eyes watching her back as she departed.

"I'll be okay by myself," Julia replied, sending him a half-smile. Right now all she wanted was to be left alone. But fate had other ideas.

"Hey, wait up!" McCoy's voice made the twins halt. Turning around, they watched as McCoy came running down the ramp towards them, nearly tripping as he came to a stop next to Jim. "I - I wanted to apologize for what happened up there _"

"It wasn't your fault -" Julia began, but McCoy lifted a hand to stop her.

"No, it was my fault. I noticed you were avoiding certain subjects, certain movements - just like someone who has past traumas," McCoy stated, giving Julia one his "I know, I'm a doctor" looks. "I saw you pull back from anyone, except your brother, who got near to touching you - and I should have traded seats with someone else. I saw the signs, I just didn't' act on them."

"I -" Julia tried to find the right words to express her thoughts, but they didn't come. She was speechless.

"That seems an accurate diagnosis." A familiar voice said from behind Julia. Her eyes wide, Julia turned around slowly to see her fiance, Spock. He was standing rigidly with his suitcase in one hand, and a P.A.D.D. in the other. Julia met his eyes, and found them clouded with hurt and anger. Silently, the couple stared at one another, each one unsure of what to say.

"Fancy meeting you here, Mr. Spock!" Jim exclaimed, stepping away from his sister and grabbing McCoy around the arm. With a pasted on smile he pulled the doctor away from the couple and towards the sign in station - to allow the two of them to figure things out. "Well, it was nice seeing you - but the doctor and I need to sign in."

"What are you - " McCoy began - only to be shushed by Jim. The interruption only aggravated McCoy more.

"They need to talk about things." Jim whispered, glancing over his shoulder at his sister and future brother-in-law. He hoped he was doing the right things, leaving them there like that.

Julia's POV

I stared at Spock, transfixed by his appearance. I'd never seen him so upset before, so hurt. Another stab of guilt stabbed me, because I knew it was me that caused him this pain. Me and my stupid fear.

I was so upset at myself, so worried I'd say or do the wrong thing, I didn't say anything at all. I just stood there and stared at Spock, taking in his rigid posture, the way his hands were clenched around his items, the tightness in his jaw. It seemed an eternity before either of us spoke.

"Julia." Spock said my name without any emotion that I could detect, which distrubed me. Usually, he said my name with a hint of emotion - but now it just sounded…empty. There was no other word for it. Although, I probably deserved that, after what I'd done.

"Spock," I began, my voice breaking. I shut my eyes for a moment and fought back a waterfall of tears that threatened to fall. After a few deep breaths, I was able to speak again. "I'm sorry about what I said, and about what I did. I had no right to leave you there in the car - and I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. Or-or cringed at your touch. I know you wouldn't hurt me."

"Your reactions indicate otherwise." Spocke replied, his voice quiet. Desperate that he believe me, I tentatively reached out and let my hand rest on his cheek. He closed his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breathe - and I almost pulled back. But I knew I had to do this.

"Spock," I said, no longer trying to hide my emotions. "I love you. I love you and I know in my heart that you would never hurt me. But what my mind knows, by body does not…" I bit my lip before going on, feeling vulnerable and afraid. What if he didn't want me after this? I pushed the thought out of my mind and forced myself to focus on the present. "Four years ago, I attended Prom with a guy named Devon. I'm fairly sure you remember meeting him back at my house. After the initial party was over, instead of taking me home, Devon drove somewhere remote, and tried…he tried to force me to be intimate with him. He shoved me up against the car door, and started to pull my dress off. Since then, I've always been a little jumpy when anyone touches my shoulder - especially when bare skin. I was able to work on feeling less jumpy over the years. But - seeing Devon again triggered me. I didn't tell you because I didn't know if you'd still want me if you knew. I mean, we're getting married pretty soon…and that could make things between us - awkward."

It was at this point that Spock pulled away from my hand, his cheeks unusually green. My own cheeks were ablaze as well - because my thoughts had gone to what happens after marriage.

"Anyway," I said, still blushing profusely. Brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, and kept facing Spock. "It was wrong of me not to tell you what happened. I showed you, and that was good, but I didn't tell you how it made me feel - or how it would affect us - and I should have. There should be no hidden secrets before marriage - or during marriage, for that matter. Unless it's a birthday party. But that's beside the point."

I let out a sigh and turned towards the academy. Lines of students were slowly trailing in, signing in, and heading towards their new dorms. Meanwhile Spock and I were left standing in a somewhat empty shuttlecraft landing area.

"I'm sorry about what I did," I said, looking at no one in particular. I took one last deep breath and turned to face Spock. "I should have told you, and I promise that, the next time something is troubling me, I'll tell you what it is, and why...If you still want me, that is."

When I'd finished my speech, a silence stretched between us. I was all too aware of Spock's eyes on me, and I cursed myself for not coming clean sooner. I knew he would break up with me now - I just knew it. I'd hidden a truth from him, insulted him, and pulled away from his touch - all of which were taboo on Vulcan regarding a husband and wife.

I waited an eternity for him to call our engagement off, telling myself that I deserved it - when Spock's hand gently took mine.

"Julianna," Spock said, coming around to face me. I looked up once more into his handsome face, into those brown eyes that held such deep emotions. "Though there were things you kept from me, things that affected our relationship - what happened was not entirely your fault. I was aware of your discomfort, but I neglected to push you to respond, worried that doing so would push you away. However, the opposite occurred. In addition, your reactions to certain touch stimuli is nothing you should fault yourself with - it is a reaction caused by a traumatic situation. I do not blame you for this reaction, but blame myself for not seeing the signs sooner."

"It wasn't -"

"I am not finished yet." Spock interrupted, giving my hand a little squeeze. "While I do not fault you with your reactions, I fault you with avoiding telling me what is wrong. But that, I believe, is something both of us need to work on - preferably together."

"Together?" I whispered, unsure that I had heard correctly. He smiled at me and nodded.

"Together." He stated, before leaning down to give me a kiss. I melted into him, my relief and happiness causing me to cry once again - only this time they were tears of joy.

I know I was late on updating - and for that I am sorry. But I've been uncannily busy, and time eluded me for writing. That, and I had some really bad writer's block. I hope to continue writing all of my fanfictions, but I will be slow on updating them. But I will update them. Eventually. Anyway, I wanted to thank you all for the comments, and let you know that Spock and Julia, once they are married, will have a baby before Vulcan is destroyed, and Amanda and Sarek will met said child. Whether or not the child is a boy or a girl (or twins) I have not decided yet. Feel free to give me your opinion! Till next chapter - stay safe!