Chapter Title from "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac

It was Wednesday night; Rhiannon was to depart for Grimmauld Place on Friday, leaving Severus to celebrate Christmas in a near-empty castle once again. He had spent every Christmas essentially alone for as long as he could remember. Even as a child he would play alone in his room, listening to his father shout and his mother cry, as the alcohol always flowed more freely around the holidays. Someday, if Rhiannon forgave him, if Voldemort was defeated, if she still chose to remain in their marriage once safety was assured— Severus would have a proper Christmas. A tree, a feast, Yule log on the fire, music in the background, their children opening brightly wrapped new books, warm clothes, and sweet treats. That was a lot of big 'ifs,' but Snape wanted it. He just wanted to be normal. And happy.

Rhiannon had been cordial to him over the past few days, but nothing more. He rarely saw her— she had begun studying her seventh year texts, started to write her own Practical Magic lesson plans for when term resumed, and spent some time brewing her requested potions. Even if she did forgive him and settled back into their relationship, Snape knew things would be different. She had a life now, independent from his. She had grown so much in so few months, and she was obviously ready to fly. Months ago he never would have imagined being sad to see her go; she had been a thorn in his side, and now she was his lifeblood. He hated her and adored her at the same time.

A knock at the door awakened them both from their slumber in their separate rooms. Severus fastened his teaching robe over his nightshirt and stumbled to the door, concerned. Normally the only interruption he received at night came via his Dark Mark, not rapid knocks at the door. Rhiannon emerged from her own room in a lavender silk robe, her golden curls loose and sleep-tousled. He had never wanted anything as badly as he wanted her lips in that moment. Missing her was killing him.

Shaking himself out of his reverie, Snape opened the door to find McGonagall standing there, eyes somber and lips pursed. "I need you and Professor Aspenfell to come with me, please."

They followed Minerva up the winding staircases to the Headmaster's office, Snape's thoughts divided between his fear of the news on the other side and his desire as Rhiannon's hips swung at his eye level. He vowed to fully appreciate her beautiful behind the moment she was his again.

Focus, Severus, for fuck's sake. Someone could be dead.

Judging by the looks on the faces that filled Dumbledore's office, that was precisely what had happened. He was taken aback to see Harry Potter there, breathless with sweat on his brow, Ron Weasley even paler than usual standing by his friend's side.

"You wished to see me, Headmaster?" Snape asked cautiously.

"Severus, I'm afraid we cannot wait. You must begin Occlumency lessons with Harry the minute term resumes. You will have to discuss with Sirius first, of course, as his guardian, but it is not optional." Dumbledore turned his gaze to Rhiannon.

"Professor Aspenfell, Arthur Weasley was attacked by your father's snake tonight while on guard duty at the Ministry. Harry saw everything through their connection and alerted us immediately. You will be returning to Headquarters early along with Harry and the rest of the Weasley children. We need everyone back under the Order's protection as quickly as possible."

"I don't want her there," Harry argued. "She doesn't belong with us."

"Harry, please listen to me," Rhiannon began, but she was interrupted by Dumbledore.

"Harry, that is not your decision to make," Dumbledore admonished him. "Professor Aspenfell will be inducted into the Order over winter break, so I assure you Headquarters is precisely where she belongs."

Rhiannon blinked, clearly surprised to hear this news. Severus saw her look at him hesitantly, and he knew too well the conflict she felt. She surely felt the darkness within her heart made her unworthy.

"Mr. Potter," Snape began slowly. "I believe your anger with Professor Aspenfell is misplaced. It was I who forced myself on her. I have given her my apologies and am willing to extend them to your godfather as well. But you will both be at Headquarters until term resumes, for your own safety. And you will show her respect as your professor."

A small, grateful smile graced Rhiannon's lips and Snape longed to commit the offense of kissing them once again.

Harry did not respond, boiling with anger. Severus knew teaching the boy Occlumency would be difficult but absolutely vital. He didn't understand the nature of the connection with the Dark Lord, but it was powerful and must be overcome. He dreaded the upcoming conversation with Black in order to gain permission, but at least it gave him an excuse to journey to Grimmauld Place over break to check on Rhiannon and remind her he would be waiting for her.

Gods, I'm a simpering fool, he thought.

The news of the attack on Arthur Weasley found Sirius through the portrait of former Headmaster Phineas Nigellus Black, a twin at Grimmauld Place to the one in the Headmaster's office at Hogwarts. Phineas had the ability to travel between the two, and was the reluctant bearer of urgent messages since he was bound by duty to the current Headmaster.

Remus reported to headquarters immediately to help make preparations for everyone's early arrival. Once Sirius learned Arthur was all right, he moved on to other pressing issues.

"Who's going to cook with Molly visiting the hospital so much?" Sirius asked, hands on hips.

"Can Rhiannon cook? If not, I suppose we are at the mercy of whatever Kreacher chooses to feed us," Remus replied with dismay.

Sirius shrugged. "No idea. I never asked because I spoiled her rotten when she was here, hoping she'd never leave me. Damn lot of good it did."

"Well I doubt you'll give her any time to cook anyway," Remus said with a wink. "Did you brew any, erm, potions for the occasion?"

Sirius ran a hand through his hair and smiled. "Nope. I'm at the mercy of what she chooses to bring. But I'm not that concerned. There are worse things than little tots running around, right? Especially ones who look like me and Rhiannon." The thought of her with his child was an instant turn-on, not the crisis he had feared over the summer. The Order wouldn't dare marry her off to Snivellus if she were carrying another man's child.

"You'll have her on maternity leave during her first year teaching at Hogwarts?" Remus asked incredulously. "No one could accuse you of being a feminist, could they?"

"I guess I don't stray as far from my pureblood roots as I thought," Sirius replied grimly, pouring himself a drink. He knew he was just speaking out of jealously and desperation. He still knew deep down that bearing a child during such dark times was selfish and risky, but the thought of having a bright eyed little one filling his lonely days was a beautiful one.

Sirius had taken to transfiguring and enchanting Christmas decorations during his last few weeks of confinement, an occupation embarrassingly tame for a biker boy turned wanted criminal, but it did add a considerable air of celebration to the usual drab ambience of his childhood home.

"My, you have softened in your old age," Remus joked as a Father Christmas flew by them on a broom.

"It's for Harry," Sirius replied. "And Hermione, Ron, the other young ones. They need some normalcy."

"As do you, my friend."

The sudden clang of a kettle hitting the floor rang through the air, and Sirius bounded downstairs to the basement kitchen as if in Animagus form, throwing his arms around Harry. "How are you? Are you feeling all right?"

"Better now that I'm home," Harry responded. Sirius beamed in response.

The Weasley children had arrived as well— except of course for Percy, who had basically deflected from the Weasleys like Sirius had from the Blacks, but for opposite reasons. Rhiannon stood in the back of the group that had portkeyed in, her delicate arms wrapped around her lavender bathrobe. Sirius had envisioned taking her into his arms immediately and whisking her to the uppermost floor, but the reality was different indeed. He could tell she had changed and was no longer the girl he felt he knew so well. She was quiet, poised, authoritative. He could still feel the power radiate from her, but it was controlled now— calculating— no longer wild and bursting at the seams. Snivellus had her thoroughly tamed.

"Hello, Sirius," she finally said, after he'd opened and closed his mouth several times to no avail.

"Welcome home," he replied quietly. Rhiannon placed a soft kiss on his cheek, her hand brushing his waist. Sirius noticed she still wore his ring, and he actually felt a jolt of surprise at seeing it.

The trouble was Sirius didn't know what to say to her. There were a million things that needed to be said, but every one too grave to just throw out there. Going any further with her just didn't seem right until they had a chance to clear the air. Remus was right— he was getting old. The real Sirius Black would have shagged now and dealt with the consequences later. Maybe it was Azkaban, or being a godfather now, or the fact that he truly loved the woman. But things weren't as easy now.

Might as well start with a more basic question, he figured. "Hey...do you know how to cook?"

Rhiannon rubbed her eyes tiredly. They were gathered by firelight in the basement kitchen, all seated at the long table, dozing in and out of fitful sleep as they waited for word on Arthur's condition. Remus had left for the evening.

Fred and George had a spat with Sirius soon after their arrival, demanding to go straight to St. Mungo's to see their dad— Sirius reminding them that the hospital hadn't even alerted Molly yet, so their swift arrival at St. Mungo's would tip everyone off that Harry had prior knowledge of the attack. Of course none of the emotional teenagers cared about jeopardizing the Order's mission at that point; they only cared about making sure their dad was alive, which was understandable. Sirius had practically barked at them though— his temper flaring like Rhiannon had never seen before.

"Your father won't thank you for messing things up for the Order!" Sirius had bellowed. "This is how it is— this is why you're not in the Order— you don't understand— there are things worth dying for!"

"Easy for you to say, stuck here!" Fred had fired back. "I don't see you risking your neck!"

Rhiannon was terrified Sirius might punch the poor boy. She'd laid a gentle hand on his arm, and Sirius took a breath to calm himself, suggesting everyone enjoy a butterbeer and wait to hear from Molly.

At this point everyone but Rhiannon, Harry, and Sirius had dozed off. Sirius's leg patted up and down anxiously as he toyed with the drink in his hand. His butterbeer had long since been replaced with firewhisky, his agitation high, his speech starting to slur. He had always enjoyed a drink or two since she'd met him, but Rhiannon had never seen it quite to this excess. She worried for him.

"Sirius, how are you managing these days?" she asked carefully. "Are you ok?"

"Well let's see, Rhiannon. I can't go outside my door, my godson is being tortured by his teacher and envisioning himself as a snake attacking my dear friend, and you are engaged to Snivellus Snape. I would say I'm doing just fine, wouldn't you?"

"I'm not engaged to Snape," she sighed.

"Just snogging him," Harry said sourly from the other side of the table.

Sirius went white and his jaw twitched. "What the hell, Rhiannon?"

"Thanks, Harry," she said dryly.

"Hold it right there," Sirius said, attempting to stand. He immediately wobbled back down. "Don't speak to Harry like that. I am grateful someone is telling me the truth."

"Sirius, I can't have this conversation in front of Harry, and you shouldn't ask me to. He's a child."

"What conversation? So you are snogging Snivellus?"

Rhiannon narrowed her eyes at him. "His name is Severus and I refuse to have this conversation with an audience. We can either go upstairs or it can wait."

Sirius downed another sip of his drink with a loud swallow. "Then it can wait. I'm not leaving my godson or my friends right now."

"Fine." Rhiannon stood this time. "Then I will take advantage of our bed being empty and get some sleep. It appears you and I should plan to sleep in shifts while I'm here if this is how you intend to behave. Good night, Harry. I apologize for snapping at you."

Rhiannon departed the kitchens and ascended the multiple flights to Sirius's room, wrinkling her nose when she arrived. The bed was unmade, covers hanging half off, clothes strewn about, the whole room having a musty smell like it hadn't been cleaned in months. She found herself longing to be back in the cool, clean silks of the dungeon beds, smelling the herbs and essential oils of potions instead of this strange odor reminiscent of a college dorm room.

Even though she was exhausted, Rhiannon decided to make use of her Practical Magic "expertise" and tidy up the room, knowing she wouldn't sleep soundly in its current state. She used a Fluff n Fresh charm on the bedding, an Evanesco on the crummy, dusty floor, and a quick spell to clean and hang Sirius's clothes. She charmed the air to smell like gingerbread and put a shiny polish on the wooden furniture. He probably wouldn't even notice it in his current drunken state, but it at least made it a more hospitable place to spend the next two weeks.

Rhiannon slipped the silk robe off and hung it in the wardrobe, now in just the white cotton nightgown she'd fallen asleep in at Hogwarts. That seemed like days ago at this point. She hadn't even gotten to say goodbye to Severus, having been herded onto the portkey by Dumbledore in a matter of minutes. She was sure Severus was worried, having lost any chance at true reconciliation before her departure.

Her mind drifted to the memory of his request to sleep with her one more time before she left; he truly thought she would leave him for Sirius and he'd never see her again. The amount of self-hatred he had broke her heart, and she had no idea how she would ever convince him to love himself when he was so broken by hate and doubt. But until she did, she knew things would always be difficult between them.

Not that things with Sirius constituted the easy road anymore. On the contrary, both roads were maddening. Rhiannon smirked to herself before she drifted to sleep— perhaps she would decide to abandon them both and start screwing the seventh year Slytherin girl. That had to be simpler than this.