Tsunade had been oddly busy in the past few weeks. Part of it was because Shizune had uncharacteristically locked her in her office until she finished stamping everything, Tsunade's protests be damned. But she definitely didn't have this much paperwork before and it was all thanks to one Hyuuga Hinata's newfound celebrity status.
In her personal capacity, she was a bit miffed at Team 8 for somehow getting so many clients every single week, thus giving her so many more mission reports to read through, devouring all her free time. But in her official capacity, she was nothing but proud that this team, and Hinata specifically, was bringing so much fame and renown to Konoha.
And cash. Tons and tons of cash. That was also an important point.
This was why she was flabbergasted when Hinata came to her office one day and begged – begged – Tsunade to stop sending her out of the village.
Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "But why, Hinata? Ever since you got promoted, you've acquired quite the fearsome reputation. As the Hokage, I'm proud of your work in..." She glanced at the latest report from Team 8. "...Um...turning down offers to become the overlord of Noodle Country?"
Hinata's slender brows creased at the reminder of this mission.
"That's the problem. Please, Tsunade-sama." Her white eyes shone with desperate, unshed tears. "All these people outside the village know me for some reason. They want my autographs. They want to give me money. They ask me very strange questions. I don't know why. I just don't know. That's why I want to take a break."
Sympathy bubbled in Tsunade's stomach like warm, soothing broth. She reached out from behind her desk and patted Hinata's black, silky hair. She was so calm and demure, kind and well-put-together, every bit a mature Hyuuga heiress, that sometimes it was honestly hard to remember that she was just a teenager. A shy, introverted teenager who had received very little positive attention in her early years. Of course she would be overwhelmed.
"Oh, Hinata. Fame happens to many ninja. You're not the first to be sick of it all. Just the other day, I had to drag Kakashi out of a tree – "
"But I haven't done anything to become famous," Hinata protested. "All I've done is almost get kidnapped and start a war between Konoha and Kumo. Neji nii-san's Byakugan is so much better than mine. Hanabi was better at Gentle Fist when she was five and I was ten...and I'm just a spare heiress. I'm completely superfluous to my clan."
When they argued so passionately, most people's voices would get louder and louder. Not Hinata. By the time she stared gloomily at the floor and said, "There's nothing special or important about me, Tsunade-sama," her voice was so feeble that it could have been blown away by a soft, calming breeze.
Tsunade's sympathy boiled into frothy anger, anger that she thought so little of herself, anger at every single moron who ever made her feel that way, anger at a clan that could supposedly see everything but overlooked someone as brave and strong as this shy, introverted teenager who was nonetheless offered the position of Noodle Country overlord.
"Hyuuga Hinata," Tsunade said, a glint of steel in her eyes. "You are a proud shinobi of Konoha, a bright, capable chuunin, an asset to Team 8. You're much kinder than I would be if I had to deal with the asses in your clan – "
Hinata squeaked in mortification, but Tsunade was on a roll. "People have seen your skill in missions, the strength of your Byakugan, and they were impressed. So I don't want to hear any talk that you're not special or important. Got that?"
There was a long silence on Hinata's end, but Tsunade decided not to give her any time to dwell on it and destroy her self-esteem any further. She glanced at the stack of papers on her desk, selected a mission report at random, and made up her mind in the blink of an eye.
"Here. A new mission for you tomorrow at 7 am sharp."
Poor Hinata.
If Hinata had known what would come from her meeting with Tsunade-sama, she would have shut up and signed a million autographs and accepted the post of Noodle Country overlord to spare herself the horror of what would follow.
An escort mission with Team Guy. The team with her cousin on it.
Normally, this would not have been an issue with her. Despite what her bandit fanboy believed, Neji nii-san was genuinely remorseful for his earlier behavior towards her and had apologized. That awful match between them was long since water under the bridge and he was even helping her train lately, giving her helpful tips. He was even more thrilled than she was whenever she mastered a new technique.
But that was before. This was after.
Now, even the thought of a mission with Team Guy would be enough to cause nightmares many years down the road for Hinata.
It all started with the merchant they were supposed to be escorting back to his home in Wind Country. Even though the Wind daimyo had agreed to give Suna more funding in the wake of the Konoha Crush, the citizens of his country had yet to catch on and were still requesting Konoha nin more often than Suna nin. Their client was Suzuki-san, a timid, mousy-looking, scrawny man with the barest makings of a beard, dressed in the typical long, flowing attire of his sandy country. He, oddly, had decided that Guy-sensei and Lee's...exuberance meant that they would be suitable protectors.
Unfortunately, he didn't know that Neji would be on the team too. That was where all the problems started. They'd barely made it out of the gates and on their path to Wind Country when Suzuki-san asked them to introduce themselves. After the customary gushing over Hinata, he turned and asked Neji his name.
And Neji had foolishly told him.
"Hyuuga Neji? Your name is Hyuuga Neji?"
Neji raised a single eyebrow, nonplussed at the merchant's outburst.
"Yes. I am. And...?" He looked to his team members and Hinata for any explanation and turned back to Suzuki-san when he realized that they were just as confused as he was.
Suzuki's mousy face turned a sick, ghastly green, then an ashen grey, then a snow white, before settling on a bloody red.
"You...little...jerkface. I won't forgive you. Ever."
Neji's confusion quickly gave way to alarm.
"I...beg your pardon?"
"You heard me." Suzuki's eyes were narrowed and deadly. An eagle ready to swoop on its prey. "I won't forgive you for trying to steal Hinata-san's boyfriend from her."
There was stark, stark silence at these inexplicable words. Tenten stared at Suzuki blankly. Hinata stared at Suzuki blankly.
Guy-sensei and Lee were staring at Suzuki blankly.
And then there was Neji.
Neji was a very intelligent and eloquent person. He had a wide vocabulary. As a Hyuuga, he had read classic literature. He knew far more kanji than his peers and his calligraphy was perfect. He could even compose a few verses on his own.
But when Suzuki-san accused him of "stealing Hinata-san's boyfriend from her," only one sound spilled forth from his tongue:
"Bwuh?"
"Shut up!" Suzuki snarled, teeth bared and fists clenched. "Hinata-san and Nori were made for each other!"
"Nori?" Hinata asked. "Who is Nori?"
Suzuki did not seem to have heard. "And you, you were jealous of Hinata-san, weren't you? Upset that she was dating Nori and you couldn't?"
"Who is Nori?" Hinata repeated.
"Bwuh?" Neji repeated.
Tenten, who was actually dating Neji, had up to that moment been watching the spectacle with intense confusion. When Suzuki said that Neji wanted to date "Nori," she decided that the situation was hilarious and didn't lift a finger to help, choosing to burst out laughing instead.
Neji gave her a wounded look. That only made her laugh harder, and made Guy-sensei and Lee scrunch up their mega brows so much that it looked like two giant caterpillars were wriggling across their foreheads.
Yep. Even those two motormouths were lost for words. Suzuki had lost all traces of mousiness in righteous indignation, however:
"The shock of your betrayal gave her heart failure, but Hinata-san was far, far stronger than you anticipated, wasn't she?"
Hinata gaped at the frighteningly enraged man, now a shade of red that would not have been out of place in a volcano. He had unsheathed a pocket knife from his knapsack and was brandishing it threateningly.
Hinata could have said many things at that moment.
She could have said, "Sorry, Suzuki-san, you're mistaken. Neji nii-san has never been jealous of my boyfriend or tried to steal him from me."
She could have said, "Sorry, Suzuki-san, Neji nii-san does not have a boyfriend. He has a girlfriend. She's also on this team and she's laughing at you like you're insane."
She could have said, "Sorry, Suzuki-san, I don't have a boyfriend. There's only one person I like. He thinks I'm a shy, dark weirdo and he probably doesn't even like me back."
She could have said all of those things, and many more.
But what she actually said was, "Doesn't everyone think that my boyfriend is Menma?"
And then Suzuki attacked.
A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. :)
Ideas I've done so far:
- "Foreign civilian dignitaries or their kids trying to meet Hinata. Hinata manages to impress." (There was more to this person's request, but I'll see if I can include those other things in a future chapter.)
- Naruto spreading more rumors about Hinata
- Neji finding out about the whole situation
- Neji getting a hateclub to rival Hinata's fanclub
Ideas that people have suggested but I still haven't done yet:
- Hinata encountering paparazzi
- Naruto getting jealous of "Menma" (and Jiraiya writing Icha Icha books about it)
- People watching Hinata eat 46 bowls of ramen and thinking she suffers from childhood trauma when she actually just gets tired after training
- Sai's reactions to the drama
- Future fic chapters where Hinata's kids find out about this and have to deal with it
- Naruto and Hinata get together and stuff happens to them because they're so famous
- Samurai army actually appears and swears loyalty to Hinata