Disclaimer: I own none of the characters from Code Geass, I'm just borrowing them. Don't sue me, you'll get a fat lot of nothing. Also I know NOTHING about the upcoming anime, this is just me being silly.

Code Geass R3: Lelouch of the Resurrection! (The Crack Fic)

*Nunnally gets kidnapped*

*Again*

"Suzaku, you idiot, you couldn't even protect her for TWO YEARS?" Lelouch demanded, bursting into the rooms belonging to 'Zero.'

Suzaku, dressed in his Zero uniform but carrying the helmet, didn't even seem all that surprised as he mildly noted, "Lulu, I thought you were dead."

Lelouch pushed his hair back in annoyance, "Like DEATH would stop me?!"

"Point..." Suzaku conceded.

CC followed Lelouch in, looking amused. "He didn't just randomly come back from the dead, though I wouldn't put it past him," she said.

"Hey," Lelouch yelped.

"He got the Code of Immortality from VV, much like my own," CC shrugged.

"Well, at least you two get to keep each other company," Suzaku admitted,

Deciding they had chatted enough Lelouch demanded, "So who kidnapped Nunnally?"

"The White Knights of Britannia," Suzaku said deadpan.

There was a beat of dead silence as Lelouch processed that. "You're joking," he said flatly.

"It does have a poetic irony," CC snarked to the former leader of the Black Knights.

Both men ignored that as Suzaku explained, "They started acting about a year ago. They feel Britannia got shafted by your reforms and want to 'Make Britannia Great Again.'

CC and Lelouch groaned softly.

"All right let's go reunite the Black Knights and go rescue her." Lelouch declared. "And have more unresolved sexual tension with Kallen..."

"Hmm, Kallen," CC purred.

"Huh?" Suzaku blinked.

"It's a Shanejayell fic," Lelouch casually broke the fourth wall, "there HAS to be a bisexual or lesbian character in it. And CC and Kallen DID live together for awhile..."

"Ah," Suzaku conceded.

Later, after reuniting the Black Knights (and friends) and meeting at the warehouse they stored the mothballed knightmare frames...

"WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" almost everyone yelled.

"Considering how often I've lied to you, that was kinda dumb." Lelouch noted.

"I forgot how much of a dick you were, Lulu..." Milly Ashford sighed, facepalming.

"Since when were you a Black Knight?" Zero asked.

"Since the only time you get featured in Code Geass stories is by being a Black Knight," Milly huffed defensively.

"Please stop breaking the fourth wall," CC sighed.

"LELOUCH YOU ASSHOLE!" Kallen yelled as she charged him in her Knighmare frame, the massive mecha bearing down on him at speed.

Lelouch's eyes went VERY wide. "Mommy!" he yelped.

CC got between them as she growled, "No, Kallen!"

"But CC..." Kallen started.

"No. Or no more cuddling lingere parties," CC said firmly.

With THAT Kallen let her Knightmare roll to a stop just short of Lelouch. She hopped out, stalking over to him. "I may understand what you did and why, but you are STILL a asshole," she growled at him.

"Yes ma'am," Lelouch squeaked.

"Nice," Zero clapped mockingly.

Thoughfully Lelouch mused, "I really need to get CC to tell me what she and Kallen got up to when they lived together."

"Dream on," CC just smirked.

A young woman emerged from the improvised work room in the back. "All right, we've tuned up the Frames and everyone has a full charge. We're ready to move," Nina Einstein said briskly.

Lelouch hid his surprise at seeing Nina there. To the best of his knowledge she hated his guts...

"Yes, I still hate your guts over Euphie," Nina addressed him flatly, "but my wife is a member of the Black Knights and I won't leave her unsupported."

"Wife?" Zero echoed, then they blinked as Milly walked up and took Nina's hand.

"Shanejayell fic," CC broke the fourth wall again, shaking her head.

"Hey I was grabbing cute girl's boobs long before this silly fanfiction came along...," Milly protested mildly.

Lelouch facepalmed this time. "Could we just get on with rescuing Nunnally?" he asked them all plaintively.

Not long afterward a convoy of Knightmare Frames raced through the twilight. "So how do we know where these White Knights are based?" Kallen asked.

"Its on the filers they posted in several neighbour hoods." Kento Sugiyama said.

"These are not the brightest villains, Zero. How the heck did they kidnap Nunnally?" Lelouch asked.

"Guess we'll have to ask them and find out," Suzaku answered dryly.

With typical military precision they englobed the warehouse then broke in, surprising their adversaries. They attempted to put up a struggle, but the large mechs and armed men and women convinced them to swiftly surrender.

"No Nunnally anywhere," Kallen reported once they searched the facility.

"Where..." Lelouch started when his radio chirped. He listened, his face oddly blank. "Zero, you're with me," he ordered as he stalked outside.

SHE was waiting outside, smiling warmly. "Hello, big brother," Nunnally smiled.

Lelouch looked at Nunnally then at Zero. "You set me up," he realized.

Nunnally shrugged eloquently. "We knew the White Knights were posed to be a threat, but I couldn't get official action taken. So..." she smiled.

"And, honestly, I liked the poetic irony," Suzaku added.

That got a laugh from Lelouch. "Point," he conceded. He hugged his sister as he murmured, "It IS good to see you. Just don't do this again."

"Yes, big brother," Nunnally said.

"Thank you," Zero added.

Lelouch gave Suzaku a look. "Yeah..." he said, then strode off.

"Are you going back into hiding?" Nunnally called out worriedly.

"Of course," Lelouch answered, "but I think Lelouch Lamperouge may be moving back into the city, once I determine a good enough disguise..."

The End?

Notes: Yeah, fairly silly. Started with the announcement for season 3, and my wondering what could cause Lulu to come back: his sister being in trouble. So I went from there.

And Nunnally kinda out Lelouchs Lelouch. It was either that or have her go full 'Zero' and go bad. I MAY continue this, but any other chapters will probably be silly too.