Bakugou didn't know why Todoroki was lying on the floor. The feasible answer that lingered in his mind was the answer that he rejected, but the answer he wanted to believe was a blatant lie. He knew how it had happened, but he didn't know why.

Todoroki was invaluable to Bakugou, even though the latter seldom expressed that. They'd been friends since high school, and even after living together in their college apartment for two years, their friendship did not waver. If anything, their friendship burned brighter after being doused by arguments and tribulations over the years.

Yet, their friendship changed during their first year of college. Bakugou never knew about Todoroki's history with self-harm, depression, and attempted suicides until then. So, when Bakugou noticed the scars on Todoroki's wrists when Todoroki was changing out a lightbulb, he could remember a rotten rush of emotions swimming through his head.

"Oi… Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"Hm? Oh. I…"

"I thought you trusted me."

Dammit, I fucking wanted to say, "You know you can trust me." I would've been pissed if he said what I did when he found out I take antidepressants.

"I do. But this is in the past. I didn't want to bring it up because I had no reason to. But I'm willing to talk about my past with you. I think you're the only one I trust enough to admit this all to. Long story short, I was depressed for a long time, and even when I overcame that, I still had bad cutting problems. I also…ah. I…tried to end it all three times in the past.

"The first was when I was five, and I didn't even know I wanted to die. I didn't know what it meant or felt like to be suicidal. But I didn't want to be in a family, a home, or a world where I felt as bad as I did and was surrounded by, well, so much shit, I guess. You already know about my past with Endeavor. So, I ran into traffic, but I survived, obviously. No one knew it was a suicide attempt. Even I didn't know at the time.

"The second was during our first year at U.A. I just…couldn't take it. I wanted to die, and I couldn't escape from the thoughts and voices telling me to end it already. So, I overdosed. This was before we had dorms at U.A., so my sister ended up finding me in time. That was when my family found out I was cutting. It… It felt horrible. But I started therapy and started taking antidepressants. I didn't want to at all. I was at my breaking point, so I…

"Ah. After three days, I made my third attempt. I slit my wrists." Todoroki pointed to the glaring, most prominent scars on his arms. "I thought I'd done it. I thought I could finally be free. Finally be happy. Finally be done. But Fuyumi was constantly checking on me. I thought I was safe if I did it late at night, but I wasn't. That's how much she loves me. How much she didn't want to lose me. How much she cares about me. I'd passed out by the time she checked on me, but I was rushed to the hospital. I needed stitches, and I was forced into a psych ward. That's why I was gone for a while that year.

"But…that's all behind me. I'm so glad I'm alive right now. It does get better. I didn't think it ever would, or that any help could help me, but I've never felt better. Once I stopped rejecting the idea of getting better and being helped through everything, I started getting better. It took a long time to recover, relapse, recover, and go through that cycle over and over again, but I'm so damn glad I made it through. I fought to want to live again, to be happy… And I'll keep fighting to live. It's worth it, Katsuki. That's why I've strongly suggested therapy, and why I randomly check on you every now and again. I'm sure it's annoying, but I love you, Katsuki. You're my closest friend, and I can't stand the thought of losing you."

So, why…aren't you getting up? Bakugou pondered as he stared at Todoroki. Why aren't you fighting to live? Are you mocking me? Is that it? Are you refusing to get up because I won't?! Get up… It was just an accident. Just an accident… It wasn't intentional. I didn't fucking mean to do it. Get up, Shouto…

He fought through hell and back…and got better. He's happy. He isn't struggling with anything. He looks good, he takes care of himself, he aces his exams, he's the sweetest goddamn person, everyone wants to be with him, everyone wants to be him, and yet, he doesn't let all that attention get to his head. Why can't I be like that? Why…is he the one that's stronger, smarter, more motivated, and more hard-working? I used to be that person. Why can't I be happy? Why can't I get better? Why can't I feel content? It's not fair. Why am I the one that was ahead, but ultimately the one that got left behind?! Why is he always—

"Katsuki, are you okay? You've been zoning out with a scowl a lot today. I'm a little worried about you, so I thought I'd ask. You know you can trust me. I'm always happy to—"

BAM! TUNK! THUD!

It was…just an accident…

A/N:
i'd like to think i made it fairly obvious as to what happened, but what do you think happened?