:: Author's Note ::
I'm introducing some new concepts in this chapter that I've been planning to include since the beginning. It's going to change a lot canonically in terms of story progression and the length of time passed IRL during the death game. So I apologize if this new element confuses anyone. Rest assured there is a plan here.
See, one of the things I wanted to do when I first set out to write this series was fix some of the major plot holes in Sword Art Online that have always bugged me. Some of these plot holes were as follows.
Why did Kayaba trap everyone in the first place? If you were like me, then Kayaba's complete non-answer at the end of the first season of SAO in regards to why he created the death game must have annoyed you. In this chapter, I don't directly state what my version of Kayaba hopes to gain, but I do allude to it.
How is it no one managed to come up with a solution for removing the nervegear? I've already sort of provided an explanation for this in the prolog, and I go more into detail about it here. Still, this issue has always bugged me as it felt like no one on the outside even tried to come up with a program or piece of software that would let them hack into the game.
Why not just let the battery die? Maybe this was better explained in the novels. But when Kirito told Klein the reason they couldn't just unplug the nervegear was because it had an internal battery, he never bothered to explain why they couldn't just let said battery die. Would that not have the same effect as unplugging it from the wall? Is there some sort of failsafe that would fry their brains after the battery drained to a certain point? None of these mechanics were properly explained. At least not in the anime.
And finally, the biggest plothole of all in my opinion. And the one I personally found to be the most irksome. How the absolute flying flip did Kirito and the others recover so fast after essentially being in a coma for TWO YEARS?! This one in particular bugs me because I happen to work in the medical field. I've worked with coma patients before and I can tell you that, while yes, surviving a two year long coma is definitely possible (there are rare instances of people waking up from an eighteen or nineteen year coma) being bed ridden for this long leads to serious, and often permanent complications. The level of muscle of atrophy and bodily deterioration he would have suffered during that time would lead to permanent, irreversible, nerve damage. That's not even taking into consideration things like ligament shortening, spinal issues, bed sores, infections, and other serious complications that arise just after a few months of being bed ridden, much less two years. Kirito should not have been able to move, much less get up out of that bed and walk on his own power after waking up. And he would have been looking at an extremely long road to recovery. Multiple surgeries and years of physical therapy just to become fully mobile again if he ever successfully managed to. During which time, he most definitely would have been wheelchair bound. None of these extremely serious medical issues are ever fully addressed however, and to me that completely killed any sense of realism or believability. I'm not saying that it had to be one hundred percent medically accurate, but I can only willfully suspend my disbelief so far. And when I watched Kirito literally wake up and start walking again after two years of coma like that, I finally called bullshit.
Apologies for the rant there. But this is something that's bugged me for a while. Because as flawed as it is, I really did enjoy Sword Art Online. I mean, I wouldn't be writing this multi-series fanfiction if I didn't. It just frustrates me because SAO had the potential to be so much more than it ended up being, and the only thing that was really holding it back was nothing was ever fully or properly explained.
Some people may think I'm being petty and that details like this don't matter. But they really do. At the risk of sounding pretentious, I'll quote my version of Kirito from the prolog. "Even make believe has to have rules. Everything has to fit into place. Every piece thought out as if it truly mattered." Because if the rules of the story don't matter, then the story itself doesn't matter. The whole thing falls apart. Which, unfortunately, is kind of what ended up happening to Sword Art Online, despite the fact both myself, and every other fan of the series, really wanted it to succeed.
But I digress, rather than dig up that old wound again, how about we just enjoy this new take on the original story together? I happily present chapter two.
:: End Note ::
When Asuna next looked around, she could see she was no longer in the forest with her party. She'd been teleported back to the central square of the Town of Beginnings, the starting area of SAO. Checking her HUD revealed the party itself had been disbanded. Hers was the only name and health bar to appear. Something which deeply alarmed her
She wasn't the only one who'd been sent back. Hundreds of players began appearing enmass around her, warping in from those same blue flashing particle effects she did. When all was said and done, just about every player on the server must have been there in the courtyard, each with the same confused and worried expressions on their faces.
Of course, that was an afterthought compared to Asuna's biggest concern. Kirito absolutely hated large crowds! Thinking fast, she began pushing her way through while calling out his name.
"Kirito? Kirito!" Asuna shoved her way through the crowd, looking around frantically for any sign of her ward. "Kirito, can you hear me?!"
"Asuna!"
She heard a familiar voice, but it wasn't Kirito. Asuna turned around to see Merida shoving her way through the crowd to get to her.
"Merida! What's going on? Have you seen Kirito anywhere?"
She shook her head, a frantic look in her eyes as well. "No, I haven't. I can't find Gatrie either."
"Do you have a clue what's going on here?"
"Someone must have forced a teleport," Merida explained.
A hideous pit was forming in Asuna's stomach. Whatever this was, she highly doubted it could be anything good.
"Look! Up there!" she heard a nearby player shout.
Asuna and Merida both turned their gaze up towards the sky. A flashing red hexagon with the words Warning: System Announcement was blaring some sort of alarm. Suddenly, it began to multiply, forming a layer of hexagons across the sky that bathed the world below in eerie red light. From the crevices of these hexagons, dark red blood began to drip like rain, coalescing into a disembodied pool directly above the town. The floating pool of blood morphed in shape, taking on the form of a massive specter clad in crimson robes with gold embroidery.
"What in God's name is that?" Merida backed away instinctively from the shade, bumping into the person behind her.
The specter slowly raised its gloved hands in the air before speaking in a loud, booming voice. A voice that Asuna almost immediately recognized.
"Attention, citizens of Aincrad. I welcome you all to the world of Sword Art Online. My world."
Asuna narrowed her eyes suspiciously but continued to listen.
"My name is Akihiko Kayaba, and as of this moment, your new lives have begun."
"What does he mean by that?" Asuna mumbled to herself.
"I'm sure by now you have all noticed the log out function missing from your main menus," he continued. "I assure you, this is not a defect in the game. I repeat, this is exactly how Sword Art Online was always designed to be."
"He's kidding right?" Merida asked fearfully.
"You can no longer log yourselves out of SAO. And no one from the outside world will be able to shut down or remove the nervegear rigs from your heads. If anyone attempts to do so, the transmitter I've had secretly embedded in every single one of your rigs will reprogram the helmets to discharge a lethal dose of microwave radiation directly into your brain, destroying it in the process."
Asuna's stomach bottomed out and her blood turned to ice water.
"That's…that's not funny." Merida shook her head over and over again in denial. "Whatever joke this is…that's not even close to being funny."
"Some of you may doubt my claims. Write them off as fantasy. Deny them. Rest assured, I have taken every precaution to ensure my ultimate objective was never discovered by the authorities. Each nervegear rig has a hidden transmitter embedded in the helmet known only to myself. When activated, it will perform the failsafe function I've programmed into each of your rigs, connecting directly to the nervegear's high-density microwave transceivers, disabling the failsafe, and flash-frying your brains with a lethal dose of radiation."
The courtyard began to devolve into nervous chatter.
"Despite my warning, the family's and friends of some of the players have already attempted to remove the nervegear. As a result, two-hundred-and-thirteen of your fellow citizens of Aincrad have perished."
Merida put a hand up to her mouth. "I'm…I'm gonna be sick."
Asuna simply continued to stare up at him, quietly watching as multiple floating computer screens appeared around his person.
"As you can see, international media outlets have already begun round the clock coverage of everything happening outside of the game. Though they will not be able to know what happens within our world, the consequences of their actions will be immediate and violent should they attempt to intrude. At this point, the likelihood of any more needless deaths should be minimal. You should be safe for now as you attempt to clear the game."
Her heart began to beat faster as a sheen of sweat formed on her brow. The thing that scared Asuna the most wasn't even what Kayaba was saying, but rather how he was saying it. There was no emotion in his voice. No anger. No pity. No sorrow. Nothing. He spoke the words as if he were a machine, an artificially generated voice program, not a human being.
Cold…he sounded so unbelievably cold.
"As you begin anew in the world of Aincrad it is important you understand three things. One, there is no longer any way to log out of this game. Two, all forms of player resurrection items have been removed from the game. And three…"
There was a pause in his words as absolute dread washed over Asuna like a shroud.
"...if your HP drops to zero, your avatar will be deleted forever, thus activating the failsafe and destroying your brain."
Silence fell over them, the finality of his words hitting every player present to the very core of their being.
"There is only one way to escape this world now." Kayaba opened a new window, revealing a white marble throne resting atop a set of regal stairs. "The Throne of Aincrad. Whoever manages to obtain this prize will gain system administrator clearance, allowing them to disable the failsafe protocol and safely log out all surviving players…if they choose to do so."
A new image appeared, this one a 3D model of Castle Aincrad.
"To obtain this prize, a player must ascend the one hundred floors of Castle Aincrad, defeat the throne guardian, and sit upon the Throne of Aincrad. Only then can you be free."
Frightened chatter spread throughout the courtyard. Merida collapsed to her knees, a horrified look in her eyes.
"That's impossible…we spent three months in the game trying to get as high as we could and…and we couldn't even make it past Floor Ten!"
"There's one final thing you should know. I've placed a small gift in the inventory of every player. Open the menu, and look for yourself."
Asuna immediately opened her menu and checked her inventory. Aside from the loot she'd gathered from her earlier dungeon raid, there was a single item she didn't remember before. The item text read Mirror of Truth. She selected the item, at which point a small hand mirror appeared in her palm.
"I don't get it. It's just a mirror. What's so special about…"
Merida shouted in fright, prompting Asuna to turn towards her. She became enveloped in light along with every other player in the game, blinding her in the process. When Asuna next opened her eyes she looked back down at her own reflection in the mirror, but nothing had changed.
"So what was that about? Merida, did you see what just…"
Asuna's words stopped dead in their tracks upon looking down at the figure still resting on her knees beside her. She'd never seen this person before. The figure kneeling at her feet staring dejectedly at her own reflection was unhealthily thin, possessing ghostly pale skin and tired, sunken in eyes. She was also completely bald.
Despite having never met this person before, Asuna knew exactly who it was.
"Merida?"
The woman kneeling in somber silence stared harrowingly at her own emaciated form, a single hand coming up to rest on her cheekbone.
"Why?" Tears filled her eyes. "That's just cruel. Why did he take it away? I finally looked healthy again."
Asuna placed a hand up to her gaping mouth, horror in her eyes. The mirror fell from her hand, shattering into particles on the ground as it slowly dawned on her what Kayaba had just done. Looking around, she could see that none of the players looked at all like they did before.
He'd taken away their avatars. This was Merida's real body. She glared up at the figure in the sky murderously, her fear replaced with rage.
"Right now, you're probably all wondering why? Why would Akihiko Kayaba, developer of the nervegear and creator of Sword Art Online do this?"
All eyes turned to him once more. They needed an explanation. This man had taken away their freedom, their avatars, everything that once made this game a dream come true to them. The least he could do was give some sort of reason. Some rationale for why he was doing such a thing.
"The world you know is a desert of the mind. Devoid of true emotion and barren of thought. No real thought, at least. Most minds within it have long since atrophied from lack of use. Up until today, you were a part of that world, waiting in flatline for the next rushing jolt of synthetic stimulation. You looked to me for the answer to a question that I did not have. One I've spent years of my life trying to discover myself."
With a broad sweep of his hand, he presented this world of his creation to them.
"I gave you this world, knowing full well the real one could never compare again, even if it were allowed to. Contemplating the real world from this floating castle in the sky has allowed you to see it for what it truly is. A prison. A cell for the mind, body, and soul."
Asuna's body began to quiver in rage.
"All my life I have been a prisoner. Cowering at the idea that the world I was born into would be incapable of understanding my unique brain. Terrified of my own instincts and what they told me regarding the nature of our existence. But it no longer has to be this way. I've created a new world in which all minds are free from the prison they were born into. The burdens of the past have been erased entirely. Mere echoes of what now is, filtered, distant, faded. Here, our souls may finally rest. And as we play our game together…"
Slowly, the phantom lowered his hands.
"...we shall redefine the meanings of our existence."
His body began to slowly crumble into smoke.
"This is the last you shall hear of me. From this moment forward, your fate rests in your own hands. Players…I wish you all the best of luck."
He faded away into a cloud of blood red smog and the red octagons vanished in a blink. Everything was back to normal, yet no one said a word. The courtyard was filled with nothing but silence.
Whereupon all pandemonium broke loose. Players began to panic, running around like chickens with their heads cut off as the courtyard became enveloped in frantic screaming and hysterical sobbing. In the chaos that erupted, a single thought rushed through Asuna's being.
"Kazuto…"
Acting fast, Asuna rushed over to her friend and dropped to a knee, shaking her vigorously.
"Merida! Listen to me, we need to get out of here and find the others."
"It's all ruined," she quietly mumbled to herself, a million miles away at that moment. "Everything we've been working for. It's all completely ruined."
"Merida, snap out of it!" Asuna insisted frantically. "We don't have the luxury of panicking! I need to find Kirito and you need to find your husband!"
Her words seemed to reach Merida. "M…my husband?"
She nodded vehemently. "They're both around here somewhere, probably just as scared as we are. We have to find them before they get hurt."
Finally, Merida came back to her senses. "You're right. Let's go look for them."
Asuna offered her a hand up, getting Merida back to her feet. They quickly formed a party and ran off towards the nearby alley hand in hand.
Now wasn't the time to lose it. Asuna needed to find Kirito and the rest of her friends. Once she knew everyone was safe, then she could address this nightmare they'd been so suddenly thrust into.
Asuna and Merida began scanning the back alleys for any sign of Kirito or the others. Players were running past her, some of them screaming and shouting in terror. The way everyone was behaving was eerily reminiscent of the very first quest Asuna ever went on with Kirito. Only now the panicked screams and chaos in the streets was very real.
"Dammit, he's not answering my messages," Asuna cursed in frustration. "What about you, Merida? Any luck...contacting…"
She stopped and turned around. Merida wasn't following her anymore. Rather, she was gazing forlornly at her own reflection in a shop window several yards back. With a concerned frown she approached her friend and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"You gonna make it?"
"I don't understand." Her voice was puny and miserable. "If this is all supposed to be some big new world, a fresh new start, why force us into our old bodies? Why make us remember what we really are?"
"I don't know. But we can't afford to think about it. Not right now."
"You know...since I ended up in the hospital again, I've been avoiding my own reflection." Her hands balled up into fists. "I didn't want to see the ugly thing my disease was turning me into."
Her words legitimately broke Asuna's heart. "Merida, you're not ugly. It's really not that bad. You just…"
"Not that bad?!" She wheeled around and glared at Asuna, angry tears in her eyes. "Asuna, I look like a corpse!"
The fencer turned away, pain in her eyes. Merida meanwhile, gazed back at her reflection, tears quietly rolling down her cheeks.
"Even if we do find Gatrie, what will he think when he sees this? This...thing I've become."
"You are not your avatar," Asuna insisted, doing her best not to break down too. "The woman I know is so much more than that."
"That's so easy for you to say," Merida insisted, unable to help the bitterness in her voice. "You chose not to wear an avatar because you're already so beautiful. Deny it all you want, but I know you take pride in your looks."
Again, she remained silent. There was nothing Asuna could say that was ever going to make this alright.
"I used to be beautiful too. Until the chemo started. Until the muscle atrophy set in. The brain tumor took my hair, my figure, my nails, as well as my ability to walk. That avatar meant everything to me because it gave all those things back. My new body was a reflection of who I once was before wasting away into this." Her voice hitched. "I was finally free. I could finally bear to look at my own reflection again. Now I'm going to be trapped like this forever. It's not fair!"
She collapsed to the ground and wept while Asuna just stood there, unsure what to do. At this rate, Merida would fall completely into despair. Something they really could not afford right now.
"Just go, Asuna," she insisted. "Leave me here and go find Kirito."
Asuna took a deep breath and looked around. There had to be something she could do, anything to at least get Merida back on her feet and out of this pit she'd fallen into. Off in the distance, she spotted a storefront advertising wigs and cosmetics. An idea started to form.
"I'm not gonna do that," she insisted determinedly before grabbing Merida by the arm and forcing her back onto her feet. "Now come on."
"Wh…what are you doing?"
Asuna smirked. "We're gonna get you a makeover."
She saw the storefront Asuna was leading her to and frowned in securely. "I...I don't know. I can't even remember the last time I wore makeup."
"Just trust me," the fencer insisted. "This is something I've been good at since before I ever stepped foot in Aincrad."
She led a despondent Merida into the small NPC-operated storefront. Looking around, she could see all sorts of wigs in various different styles being displayed on mannequin heads. As well as cases of cosmetics on the shelves in addition to application tools.
"Nice," Asuna commented slickly, now fully in her element. She gestured to the mannequin heads. "Go pick out a wig, Merida."
She withdrew insecurely. "I...I'm not sure about this, Asuna. What if I just end up looking like a clown?"
Asuna chuckled at her. "Would you just trust me? Seriously, when it comes to the makeover skill, I've totally maxed it out IRL. You're in good hands."
Finally, Merida smiled. It was faint, and still slightly unsure. But it was there nonetheless. That bright ray of sunshine Asuna remembered hadn't died completely.
"Well...okay."
Merida went to go pick out a wig for herself while Asuna approached the front counter.
"Welcome," the NPC store owner declared with a polite smile. "Interested in a new look?"
Asuna quickly glanced over the list of dialogue options that appeared on her HUD before turning back to the store owner. "What do you sell here?"
"Only the finest beauty products in all of the Town of Beginnings," the store owner assured. "The wigs are specially crafted and dyed from imported centaur hair. And the makeup pallets you see are a combination of natural ingredients derived from bones, plants, eggshells, and beetle carapaces."
"How do cosmetics work in Aincrad?"
"Adventurers who desire to explore new looks may purchase and apply cosmetics at any time. With the proper ingredients, a skilled mixer can even make their own products. Application can be done by honing the appropriate skill, or simply through natural talent."
Translation, Asuna didn't need the cosmetics skill to apply makeup. She could do it manually with the right tools.
"I'd like to apply makeup. Do you have a booth I can use?"
The NPC nodded. "Certainly. Our vanity mirror is right over there." She gestured to a makeup station with a chair and mirror. "It's free to use with any purchase."
"Thank you, that'll be all."
"Of course, let me know if you need help with anything."
After speaking with the NPC, Asuna felt someone tap her shoulder. She turned around to see Merida smiling and holding a wig in her hands.
"How about this one? It's pretty close to my old look, wouldn't you say?"
Asuna smiled at the short-cut locks of emerald hair in her hands. "It's perfect. Now just give me a second to grab everything I'll need."
Merida went to go sit at the mirror while Asuna bought all the makeup and brushes she would need for this. Fortunately, Aincrad beauty products appeared to be markedly less expensive than Earth beauty products. Something she was personally grateful for as it meant Asuna could make do with the money drops she scored off that dungeon raid.
It was strange. Shopping for Merida's new look was starting to bring back memories of frequent trips to various outlet stores with her old friends. As well as shopping sprees with her mother. Why on Earth Asuna was thinking about this now of all times confused the hell out of her.
Until she realized it was probably because there was now a chance she may never see any of the people she knew in the real world ever again.
Asuna quickly shook the thought away. Thinking about that now wouldn't do her any good. She needed to remain objective. After quickly buying all the supplies she would need, Asuna made her way back over to Merida before unloading all the items she'd just bought onto the table and getting to work.
"A simple glam makeup look is not that difficult to pull off with the right know-how," Asuna assured. "First you start with your moisturizing agent. And then from there we move on to foundation."
Step by step, Asuna took Merida through the process of how to apply each product as she placed it on her skin. From eyebrows, to lashes, to lipstick, Asuna brought some much-needed color back into Merida's skin as well as volume to her brows and lashes.
"Now, for the advanced lesson. Contouring."
In total, she spent about twenty minutes guiding Merida through the process of applying her new look. Once Asuna was finally done, she finished it off by placing the wig on her head, smiling proudly at her work.
"And we're done."
"So…how does it look?" Merida asked nervously.
She grinned. "Why not see for yourself?"
Asuna slowly spun her around in the chair to face the mirror again. Upon seeing what was now staring back at her, Merida placed both hands over her gaping mouth, her eyes wide with shock.
"What do you think? I know it's not exactly the same as your old look, but it's pretty damn close if I do say so myself."
Her lip began to quiver and her eyes glass over despite herself. Merida quickly began fanning her eyes, desperate not to ruin Asuna's hard work. With nothing but some makeup and a few brushes, her friend had successfully given back what she thought for sure she just lost forever.
Asuna spun her back around in the chair and placed her hands on her shoulders. "Merida, you will always be beautiful to me. Avatar or no avatar." Her own eyes began to glass over. "In the short time I've gotten to know you, you've become a better friend to me than the ones I've known for years. You're one of the brightest souls I've ever met and nothing can change that, nothing."
They embraced, with Merida finally breaking down completely as she wept on Alia's shoulder.
"Please…" Asuna whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. "...don't lose hope. I need you right now, Merida. So does Kirito and your husband. We need your spirit now more than ever."
"Thank you," she quietly wept back. "Thank you for reminding me who I really am."
Merida finally pulled away and carefully cleaned herself up so as not to smudge her mascara. Finally, a look of determination returned to her eyes and she stood up out of the chair, her confidence restored.
"Alright, no more moping. We need to find our friends."
Asuna sighed in frustration. "That's going to be a lot easier said than done. Kirito isn't answering my messages and I don't know…"
At that moment her message alert went off. Asuna immediately opened her menu and checked her inbox.
"Did he finally respond?" Merida asked hopefully.
She shook her head, still reading the message. "No, it's from Klein. He says he found his friends…" Her smile returned. "...and he also found Kirito!"
Merida beamed. "That's great! Where is he?"
Asuna continued to read, her smile slowly fading.
"What's wrong?"
"We need to go," she insisted urgently. "Now."
Asuna and Merida were running like women possessed towards the location Klein mentioned in his message. If what she'd read was any indication, Kirito was not handling the situation well at all. More than anything, she just needed to see him. She needed to know he was okay.
Upon rounding another corner, she saw off in the distance a group whose faces she didn't quite recognize but whose armor and weapons were immediately familiar. It was the members of Fuurinkazan. She'd found them!
"Klein!" she called out upon running up to them.
The man with short spiky brown hair and a scruffy beard turned around and smiled at her in relief. Though he looked quite a bit different from his avatar, Klein was still wearing his trademark bandanna, making him easy to point out.
"Asuna! Merida! I'm so glad you two are okay." Something occurred to him as he glanced over Asuna. "Hold on, how did you manage to keep your avatar?"
Merida giggled while Asuna turned her gaze away awkwardly, her cheeks turning red.
"I…was never wearing an avatar," she finally confessed. "This is how I really look."
It took a second for that to click, but the moment it did Klein looked completely flabbergasted. "Holy shit! You're this hot IRL too?!"
An indignant noise escaped her lips and her whole face burned crimson, whereupon Asuna planted her fist in Klein's stomach, once again knocking the wind out of him.
"Right…I forgot we're still not doing that," he responded hoarsely.
"Look, just can it, would you?" she insisted angrily, her face still bright red. "Now is seriously not the time. Where's Kirito?"
His expression turned serious as he pointed towards a small alley behind him. "He's back there, hauled up behind some crates. We tried everything we could think of to get him to come out but nothing's working."
Asuna nodded in understanding. "Alright, you boys stay out here. Leave this to Merida and me."
"Be my guest," he insisted. "We've gotten absolutely nowhere."
The girls slowly made their way into the small dark alley. She could hear the poor boy hyperventilating all the way from the entrance. Asuna carefully made her way towards the source of the sound, Merida directly behind her, before peering over a stack of crates at the one sitting against the brick wall, his knees tucked up to his chest, his hands tugging at his hair as he rocked in place. Seeing this broke her heart. This wasn't Kirito, the Black Swordsman and future king of Aincrad. This was Kazuto Kirigaya, a frightened, terribly overwhelmed boy unable to cope with what was happening.
"Kirito…" Asuna spoke as gently as possible while he continued to tremble violently. "...Kirito it's me. It's Asuna. I'm here."
He didn't respond. The poor boy didn't even seem capable of hearing them for how worked up he was.
"Kirito?" she spoke again, reaching out to him. "Kirito, look at me."
No good. With a concerned frown, she turned towards Merida.
"Give us just one second," she politely requested.
Merida nodded in understanding, a sorrowful look in her eyes as she joined the guys back at the entrance to the alley. Asuna slowly sat down next to him, resting her back against the brick wall. After giving it a moment, she very delicately placed her hand on his shoulder.
"Kazuto…look at me," she insisted as gently as possible.
Finally, he managed to hear her. Kazuto's breathing slowly began to ease into a steady rhythm as he turned towards Asuna's smiling face. With tears in his eyes, he clung to her like a small child, quietly trembling all over again.
"It's okay," she whispered, holding him tightly to her. "It's okay, I've got you. I've got you."
'He…he lied." Kazuto's voice was shaking almost as badly as his body. "He lied…about the nervegear. He lied…about my work. He lied about…about everything."
She hugged him tighter. "I know. I know he did."
"Why?" he asked pitifully. "Why would he do that? Dr. Kayaba was my friend. He was…he was like me."
"I don't know," she responded sadly. "I don't understand why he's doing any of this."
"I promised Mom and Suguha I'd come home." His breath hitched as the bottom fell out. "I promised them I'd always come home."
Asuna kissed him on the forehead and stroked his hair, tears streaming down her face as well. "You will come home. I promise you, Kazuto. We will get you back home one way or another."
"How can you be sure?"
She pulled away and smiled at him, putting on a brave face for his sake as she wiped her eyes dry. "Because I also made a promise to your mother. I told her I would always be there to watch over you in Aincrad."
Upon seeing her tear-stained face, he almost immediately forgot about his own plight and frowned at her in concern. "Don't cry, Asuna. I hate it when you cry."
Asuna took a breath to steady herself before nodding and hugging him again.
"I know you do."
It took some doing, but Asuna managed to convince Kazuto to leave the alley and rejoin the group where they reformed their party. Though in a better state than he was before, Kazuto was still too shaken to be out on the streets with all the chaos and panic happening around him. For the time being, the group decided to find somewhere quiet for them to regain their wits and regroup. They eventually stumbled upon a small tavern that wasn't terribly expensive and purchased a room for the night. While Asuna, Klein, and the others spoke at length, Merida stood outside the room trying to get in contact with her husband.
"Dude, this whole thing is so fucked," Dale insisted, pacing around the room, clearly stressed out. "Like…a death game? Is this guy some sort of psychopath, or what?"
"Dr. Kayaba isn't a psychopath," Kazuto quietly corrected, his legs tucked up to his chest on the bed, his gaze to the floor. "He has high functioning autism with an antisocial comorbidity. It's not the same thing."
He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Whatever, man. The dude's nuts! He can't seriously keep us all trapped in a damn game like this."
"Yes he can," Kazuto corrected, his voice that same monotone as it was before. "If what he said about the rigs is true, there's a hidden transmitter that can reprogram the nervegear's high-density microwave transceivers and manually disable the safety features."
"But how the hell would he manage to sneak something like that past the National Diet?" Harry argued. "They had their hands all over this thing, put it through just about every inspection and safety test under the sun. Surely they would have noticed something was off about them, right?"
"No," he responded. "Not unless they had access to Kayaba's original blueprints. But those were patented and confidential."
Asuna nodded. "He's right. Japanese law protects private investors from sharing company secrets like that unless there's a criminal investigation involved. He wouldn't have had to show them everything, just explain how the device worked and prove it wouldn't accidentally kill anyone."
Dale laughed humorlessly, still pacing in stress. "Yeah, and it doesn't. Only intentionally kills us."
"Can we even say for certain that that threat was legitimate?" Kunimitz asked hopefully. "This dude is clearly off his rocker, maybe he's just making the whole thing up for attention."
"I mean…I guess it's possible," Klein admitted. "But is that really a theory we wanna test?"
Asuna shook her head vehemently. "We have no way of contacting the outside world. Which means the only way to confirm that would be to die in the game and see if it kills us for real."
"Yeah, that'll be a hard pass from me," Harry responded sarcastically.
"We can't prove it's legitimate, but we can't prove it's not legitimate either," Asuna insisted. "So unless something changes, we have to assume it is. If we die in the game, we die in real life."
"Look, legitimate or not, I'm not playing along with this craziness," Dale spoke up again, aggravation in his voice.
"We may not have a choice," Asuna admitted glumly. "You heard what Kayaba said, we can't log out and if anyone tries to take off our nervegear the failsafe will trigger."
"What if they just disable the wifi?" Kunimitz offered. "No signal, no failsafe right?"
"Wrong," Kirito corrected. "That's not how it works. If the transmitter works like a standard antenna then it will be programmed to trigger the failsafe if a connection is disrupted for too long."
"You're kidding…" Kunimitz started turning pale. "So we could potentially die just for having shitty internet service?"
"I wouldn't worry about that too much," Asuna insisted. "It's likely our bodies will be moved somewhere with a stable connection."
"This is a national emergency," Klein assured. "Whatever's going on outside, I doubt heavily we'll be in any danger there."
Dale nodded, finally seeming to calm down. "Okay…so then we just wait it out. The internal battery lasts for what, five months? I can happily sit my ass here and wait until this damn helmet runs out of juice."
She sighed. "Even if it was that easy, which I highly doubt it is, there's something you're not taking into account."
"What's that, Asuna?" Klein asked.
"The time dilation effect," Kirito answered for her. "Every hour that passes by in the real world feels like ten in Aincrad. By those parameters, we would be waiting for over four years for the battery to die. That is assuming the failsafe doesn't trigger before that happens."
The wind completely left their sails.
"Four years?" Kunimitz asked despondently. "Fucking hell…"
Dale cursed under his breath before regaining his composure. "I mean…okay, so I'll admit that's a long ass time to sit around doing nothing. I get that. But what's the alternative? Go out there and get ourselves killed?" He shook his head vehemently and sat down in a chair. "My money still goes to sitting right here and letting the authorities handle this. They'll figure some way to get us out. I'll bet they've got their best programmers working on this thing."
"That won't work," Kazuto spoke up again.
He glared at him angrily. "How can you know for sure?"
"SAO is run entirely by the cardinal system," he explained. "A closed network composing a single giant artificial intelligence. It's secured in an underground bunker under a layer of solid steel. The only way in is a reinforced blast door protected by an encryption lock only Kayaba can get into. Even if they somehow could get to the cardinal system's AI core, it would take years for them to safely breach its mainframe even with brute force tactics."
"Well what about an auxiliary approach?" Harry offered. "Even if they can't access the cardinal system itself, a skilled hacker might be able to break their way in from the rig itself."
Kazuto turned white as a ghost, his breath trembling as he began tapping his fingers against his thumb extremely rapidly.
"Th…that won't work either."
"But why not? If someone on the outside could create an exploit to…"
"There are no exploits!" he cut him off sharply, clear agitation in his voice. "The game can't be hacked."
Dale just scoffed at him. "You're wrong. No game system is bullet proof. They'll find a way in. Until then, we just gotta sit tight. Just you wait, I bet they'll have us out in a month. Two tops."
Asuna considered his words for a moment, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. As much as she wanted to be pissed at this guy for the way he was speaking to Kazuto, there was something far more pressing weighing on her mind at that moment.
"Something wrong, Asuna?" Klein asked worriedly.
"It's not enough time," she spoke quietly, lost in thought. "When I was in the Beta, Kirito and I spent three days together with our friends exploring the first two floors, but that was as far as we got. And really? That was only because everyone was so ridiculously overleveled."
He swallowed the lump in the back of his throat.
"Castle Aincrad is huge," Asuna insisted. "And under the conditions he expects us to play, it could very well be months before we clear the first floor, let alone make it all the way up to the top." She shook her head vehemently. "It's impossible. Four years of game time is not nearly enough to clear all one hundred floors."
"No…no it's not."
Everyone turned and looked at Kazuto, who was shaking violently again, something having apparently just occurred to him.
"Kirito? What's wrong?" Asuna asked worriedly.
Seemingly ignoring her, Kazuto opened his menu and went to system settings. He began mumbling to himself as he scrolled through data. Until something caught his eyes which made him do something Asuna had never seen before.
Kazuto reeled back in legitimate fear. She'd seen his meltdowns before. She'd seen how stressed he would get in crowds or a packed subway car. But that's not what this was. Kazuto wasn't hyperventilating, he wasn't even trembling, his face was just white as a sheet-like he'd seen a ghost.
"This is bad…" he muttered quietly.
"What is it?" Klein asked nervously.
"This is bad," he repeated a little louder than before, his breaths quickening again.
"Kirito, you're scaring me," Asuna insisted, her voice shaky. "What's wrong? What happened?"
"He's changed the time dilation parameters," Kazuto explained, his voice shaking as well.
"What?" Harry asked, palpable fear in his voice.
"He's changed the time dilation parameters," he repeated.
"Dude, we heard you the first time!" Dale insisted in annoyance. "What the hell does that…"
"Stop!" Asuna cut him off sharply, a murderous look in her eyes, before turning back to Kazuto and kneeling down, placing a hand on his knee. "Kirito, what did you mean by that?"
"The parameters…have changed…" He was trying to convey his message, but it was getting progressively more and more difficult for him. Kazuto rapidly tapped his fingers against his thumb as he stared down at his menu. "They're no longer one to three, they're now one to five."
"Okay…" She swallowed back the fear in her voice before continuing. "...so what does that mean?"
He slowly looked up at her.
"For every hour that passes in the real world…it'll feel like a thousand in here."
Silence enveloped the room of the tavern as a wave of unholy dread washed over every player present. Asuna slowly collapsed onto the floor next to Kazuto, a blank, vacant look in her eyes.
"So then…" Klein collapsed back in his seat, numb to everything around him. "...every day out there feels like a thousand hours in here?"
"No…" Asuna shook her head. She was turning legitimately green. "No, Klein. That's not what he said. It's not every day. It's every hour."
Her words hit them like a ton of bricks all over again. For the longest time, no one said a word. Finally, it was Kunimitz who spoke up.
"Okay. So…twenty-four hours in a day, divided from a thousand that's…that's…umm…"
"Forty-one days and seven hours rounded up," Kazuto responded in a monotone.
He blanched. "R…right. So every hour feels like forty-one days plus some change. That would make a full day on Earth…umm…carry the two, and then…"
"Oh, for fuck's sake, Dude. It's a thousand!" Harry insisted, absolute dread in his voice. "Any way you slice the math, it's a thousand fucking days!"
"Okay…a thousand days…" His voice was becoming progressively more shakey with every word he spoke. "So then a week would be seven thousand days. Three-hundred-and-sixty-five days in a year, so…"
"Nineteen-point-two rounded up," Kazuto answered. "Just under twenty years."
"I'm gonna be fucking sick…" Klein placed a hand over his mouth.
"So…if that's a week, then what's a month? Twenty years times…four weeks? Five?"
"Look, you don't have to keep doing it that way," Harry insisted in frustration. Hearing this was starting to seriously stress him out. "Just carry the zeroes. If we know that five months in Aincrad under one to ten parameters is roughly four years. Then under those same conditions, one to a thousand would be…"
His words trailed off as the full gravity of what had just been done to them finally began to fully sink on their collective shoulders.
"Four hundred…" Asuna quietly answered, her voice completely lifeless. "...over four hundred years."
"So…if we wanted to stay safe, we'd have to just sit here and live in Aincrad for…four centuries?" Klein asked, his mind seemingly refusing to accept this hideous information.
Asuna shook her head in refusal. "That's not living…that's not life." She looked up at him with horror-stricken eyes. "I'd rather be dead!"
Once again, they were all rendered silent. Kazuto continued to fidget in place, tapping his fingers against his thumb rapidly.
"This changes everything…" Asuna chuckled lifelessly. "...we don't have a choice now. We either beat the game or…"
"...or we never see the real world again," Klein concluded gravely. "This really is our life now. Whether we like it or not."
"No." Dale stood up, having officially had enough. "No, it's not. I'm not staying here."
He opened his menu and started repeatedly pushing on the blank space where the logout button used to be. But of course, this did absolutely nothing.
"Let it go, Dale. You know that's pointless," Harry insisted.
"Shut up!" he shouted back, panic in his voice. "He can't keep me here! I've got work in the morning!"
"Dude, calm down," Klein insisted, slowly standing up and approaching his buddy. "You're just making it worse for yourself."
"Fuck!" Dale shouted at the top of his lungs before throwing his chair clear across the room, hitting the wall and incurring the immortal object icon. "This is supposed to be a game! It was just supposed to be a fun fucking game! Now what? We're gonna be trapped in here for the length of a Chinese dynasty?"
"Chinese dynasties are only three hundred years, not four hundred," Kazuto corrected.
"Oh, Jesus Christ, who gives a shit?!" he barked at him angrily. "What are you, a damn search engine?! How can you stay this calm anyway?!"
Kazuto almost immediately shrunk in on himself and started to tremble all over again. "Why are you yelling? What did I do wrong?"
Hearing Kazuto in distress almost immediately sobered Asuna back up. She quickly sat up and pulled him back into her arms.
"It's okay. Kazuto, it's okay," she whispered quietly enough to where the others couldn't hear her use his real name.
"Why is he mad? What did I do?"
She shook her head vehemently. "He's not mad, he's just scared. We all are."
"Dale, you need to calm down," Klein insisted. "This isn't helping, and you're really upsetting Kirito."
"Why should I care? He's half the reason we're stuck in here!" he responded angrily.
Asuna spun around to face Klein and pointed towards the door. "Get him out of here or I will."
"Dale, come on. Let's just go," Harry insisted.
Kunimitz nodded. "You need to take a walk, Bro. Clear your head a little."
"No! Fuck you! I'm not going out there with those damn…"
His words were cut off as Klein proceeded to spin him around and sock him square across the jaw. Dale collapsed onto the ground, slightly dazed, but not hurt, the blow having effectively sobered him up.
"K…Klein?" he asked in confusion, holding his wounded cheek.
The leader of Fuurinkazan glared down at him angrily before pointing to the door. "Get out. Now."
Dale looked around at his friends, each of them possessing the same angry, disappointed expressions on their faces. He then looked at Kirito, who was still violently trembling while Asuna tried to comfort him. When it finally occurred to him what he'd just done, his eyes began to glass over.
"I'm sorry. I just…"
He quietly broke down weeping, unable to cope anymore. Feeling an ounce of pity, Klein took a deep breath and turned towards his other buddies.
"Guys, how about you head down the bar and get Dale a drink?" he suggested. "God knows we could all use it."
They both frowned solemnly and nodded their heads before helping their buddy back to his feet and leaving the room. Once they were gone, Klein sighed in relief before shaking his head and turning back towards Kazuto and Asuna.
"Hey, I'm really sorry about him. Dale has never been able to handle stress very well. I'm pretty sure the whole time dilation thing just finally made him crack."
Asuna shook her head vehemently. "That's still no excuse. He was completely out of line."
Klein nodded. "I agree. He really was."
"No, he wasn't."
They both turned towards Kirito, who was still quietly shaking in Asuna's arms.
"What do you mean?" she asked worriedly.
"I know that one," he explained, his voice shaky. "Out of line. A synonym meaning to behave in a way that breaks the rules or is considered disreputable or inappropriate. But he didn't break the rules. He was just telling the truth. I am responsible for this."
"Don't say that," Asuna insisted gently, hugging him tight again. "This wasn't your fault, Kirito. You were just trying to do something nice for your friends."
"Seriously, man," Klein offered, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Dale didn't mean that, he's just having a hard time coping with the stress of…"
"No, no no no no!" He shook his head vigorously, pulling away from them and standing up where he began to pace back and forth. "I…I did this. I was the one…who bulletproofed the system."
Asuna gave him a squirrely look. "What do you mean? Kirito, you didn't…"
And then it hit her. She understood exactly what Kazuto was referring to. Asuna blanched before placing a hand up to her gaping mouth.
"Asuna, what's he talking about?" Klein asked cautiously.
A million thoughts rushed through Asuna's head at that moment, all while Kazuto continued to pace around and mumble to himself while pulling at his hair. Finally, she stood up and placed two hands on Klein's shoulders, a severe look in her eyes.
"Listen to me, everything you're about to hear cannot leave this room. Do you understand me?"
He nodded, slightly intimidated by the severity of her gaze. "Yeah, I understand."
"Swear to me right now you won't repeat this to anyone or I'll kick you out myself," she insisted vehemently.
He raised a hand in the air. "Scouts honor. On my life, I promise not to say a word."
She nodded approvingly before turning her attention back to Kazuto, placing her hands on his cheeks and getting his attention again. "Kirito, Kirito look at me."
"Don't call me that!" He pulled away. "I'm not Kirito. I'm not the Black Swordsman. I'm not…I'm not…"
Kazuto began furiously tugging and scratching at his hair, going into a full-blown meltdown. Asuna grabbed hold of him while he worked through it, slowly taking them both down to the ground where she promptly shot Klein a look as if to say remember your promise before turning back to the frantic boy and trying again.
"Kazuto, look at me," she calmly repeated, using his real name instead of his virtual one. "Take a deep breath."
Asuna helped him through the breathing exercise she learned from Midori, taking a breath and holding it before counting backwards from ten and slowly exhaling. Though still fidgety, he was at least calm enough to listen to her.
"Listen, the work you did for Kayaba is in no way your fault. He lied to you, remember? He lied."
He seemed to consider her words for a moment. "But…but I still gave him all those exploits. I hunted the Beaters, helped him develop every patch for the game."
"Wait seriously?" Klein sounded slightly surprised. "You helped build the software for SAO's security system?"
Asuna sighed woefully. "Kazuto was an Alpha Player for the game. He pretty much helped create Sword Art Online along with about ninety-nine other people. One of his jobs as a Beta Tester was to hunt down Beaters."
He gave her a confused look. "Okay, hold on, what's a Beater?"
"Beta cheater," Kazuto responded lifelessly. "They were Beta Testers who'd developed hacks and system exploits for the game."
"And they seriously couldn't come up with a better name for themselves than Beater? That's so lame."
She groaned at him in frustration. "So not the point. These guys had developed a whole bunch of system exploits and cheats for the game and…" Asuna frowned worriedly at Kazuto. "...he did a really good job making sure every single one of them got patched."
Klein's expression changed from confusion to despair as it occurred to him what she was saying. Whether he meant to or not, his buddy Kazuto had essentially handed Kayaba the key to their cells. Those system exploits could have potentially been the ticket out of this game. But they were all useless now.
That…was going to take some time for him to come to terms with.
"I'm gonna go check on the others," he finally declared before heading for the door.
"Remember what I said," Asuna insisted sharply. "You can't…"
"I got it," he assured, giving her the thumbs up. "Not a word."
She nodded before focusing on Kazuto. As Klein reached the door handle, he finally managed to put his feelings aside, turn around, and smile back at them.
"Hey, Kirito?"
He didn't look up but Asuna did.
"Your real body suits you a lot more than your avatar did," he insisted with an encouraging smile. "Just saying."
She smiled at him gratefully on Kazuto's behalf. "Thank you, Klein."
He nodded before exiting the room. Once it was just the two of them, Kazuto finally spoke up again.
"He's wrong. That's not my name. I'm not Kirito."
"Of course you are," Asuna insisted. "That avatar doesn't mean anything. You're still the Black Swordsman, with or without…"
Kazuto shook his head vehemently. "That's not it. I don't deserve that name anymore. I'm no one's king. I'm no one's hero."
Hearing those words broke her heart. Rather than show it, however, Asuna did the only thing she could think of that would remind him of who exactly he was to her.
She leaned in, closed her eyes, and kissed his lips. Reminding both him, and herself, of that wonderful moment they shared before everything fell apart.
"You're my king. You're my hero," she insisted gently upon pulling away. "No matter what anyone else thinks, that's not going to change."
Just like last time, his eyes were wide with shock and his face burned crimson.
"Kirito...when you showed me this world, I was so unbelievably happy. Those three days we spent together in the Beta were some of the best of my life. You gave me so much the day you invited me to play with you."
"Asuna…"
She rested her forehead against his and shut her eyes. "And I'm not the only one. You gave hope to so many people. You still can."
Asuna placed her hands on his face again.
"We need you, Kirito. I need you."
Her eyes began to fill with tears, immediately invoking his concern once more.
"I'm scared…" she finally confessed, her lip quivering. "...I'm so scared right now, Kirito. I don't want to die in this place. I don't want either of us to die in here."
"Don't cry."
"Please," she hugged him tightly to her. "Please help us. You're the only one who can now."
The gravity of her words finally sank into his being. As she quietly wept on his shoulder, releasing all the pent-up emotion she'd been suppressing, he slowly placed his hands around her, hugging Asuna back.
"Okay…" Kirito said. "...okay. I'll try to help."
She held him tighter, finding comfort in his arms.
"Thank you."
Kirito passed out on the bed shortly after cuddling up with Asuna. The scene was all too reminiscent of the first time she woke up in his bed, having just logged out of SAO for the first time at the end of Beta. She could recall with vivid detail just how embarrassed she was accidentally falling asleep on his arm, only to be discovered by his little sister and mother the very next day.
God...what was going through their heads right now? They must have been worried sick. Furthermore, what were her parents thinking at that moment? Before all this, they didn't even know their daughter owned a nervegear. Much less that she was one of the ten-thousand players now trapped in SAO. Would they be mad? Disappointed? Worried? Depressed? Betrayed? They must have figured it out by now, surely.
That is...if enough time had passed for them to know.
Four hundred years. It almost didn't seem real. As much as she despised him for it, Dr. Kayaba really did succeed in what he set out to do. Asuna felt like she'd been unwittingly thrust into a new world. A vicious, deadly, untamed new land where every day would be a fight for survival.
She would probably die in here. That thought was very present at the front of her mind. Asuna would most likely die in this place. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not ten years from now. But at some point, this new world would most likely kill her. Their chances of surviving long enough to ever see the real world again were slim to none. She didn't need Kirito's burgeoning intellect to be able to see that.
Kirito...honestly, how that boy could sleep at all given everything he'd been subjected to was beyond her. Asuna put on a brave face for his sake, only finally bearing her heart to him in a desperate moment of weakness. But the truth was, as much as the thought of her own death in this new world frightened her, the idea that he could perish in here scared her so much more. Asuna would never forgive herself if she let something happen to him. The guilt alone would destroy her as surely as any monster could.
Part of her wanted to wrap him up in her arms and never leave this tavern. But at the same time, she also understood that Kirito was now likely their only true hope of making it out of this death game alive. His knowledge alone and skill at the game would be invaluable to them. Not to mention whatever abilities as a slicer he might be able to offer. It was a vicious dichotomy. Her instincts to protect this precious boy were now at war with the hopes she placed on his shoulders.
Sleep would not be an option for her. Not with everything on Asuna's mind. Instead, she quietly waited until he had completely faded before rolling out of bed and sitting at the windowsill overlooking the Town of Beginnings. It seemed so peaceful now, so tranquil. If she closed her eyes and listened to the sounds of the streets below, she could almost take herself back to that moment when she first entered the world of Aincrad. That magical moment where everything felt like a dream. Her adventures with Kirito, with Merida, Gatrie, and the rest of the Beta Testers. Those were some of the happiest memories of hers in recent years. More than anything, she'd been longing to come back, to escape her real-life burdens and fly away into the world of SAO. It's what they all wanted in one way or another.
Was this nightmare they now found themselves in punishment for their hubris?
Asuna was torn away from her thoughts by the sound of the tavern room door opening behind her. She turned to see Merida poking her head in the doorway. Asuna gently placed a finger up to her lips.
"He just fell asleep."
Merida nodded before quietly shutting the door and joining her by the windowsill. "How's he doing?"
"Better now," she admitted, a hint of weariness in her voice. "Though not by much. Honestly, I've gained a new respect for his mother. This is the worst I've ever seen him."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah…" Asuna rubbed the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. "...just a little worn out."
"Can't sleep?" Merida guessed.
"Honestly, it's a miracle he can with everything going on." With a sigh, she sat up and turned to Merida. "So what about you? Any luck getting a hold of your husband?"
At that, her demeanor darkened considerably. "He's blocked me from his inbox."
"What?" Asuna looked appalled. "Why would he do that?"
She shrugged. "He doesn't want to talk to me."
"Maybe he's just scared."
She nodded. "I already know that. What's more, I'm pretty sure I know why he's frightened."
"Why?"
"The same reason I was," she insisted before brushing the bangs of her wig from her eyes. "Before you talked me down. He's worried about what I'll see." Merida chuckled humorlessly, shaking her head in disbelief. "Honestly, I feel like such a fool. I was so worried he'd think less of me for seeing what I really am that it never occurred to me how he might be feeling right now."
"That's still no excuse for blocking you," Asuna insisted, slightly irritated.
She shrugged. "I can't be mad at him. After everything we've been through today, after everything we've lost, I was prepared to do the exact same thing."
Merida's words pained her greatly, though she hid it well. "That reminds me. There's something I need to tell you about…"
"I already know," she assured, her gaze turning towards the window. "Klein told me shortly after you kicked his friends out of the room."
"I still can't believe it." Asuna shook her head incredulously. "Christ, what a nightmare."
Merida remained silent, prompting Asuna to raise a brow at her.
"Unless...you disagree?"
Again, she said nothing. Asuna sighed before casting her gaze out the window once more.
"It's okay if you do. I won't judge you."
"I thought about it," she finally admitted. "And I've decided I can't in good conscience see this as a silver lining. Not when it comes at the expense of those I know and love. Besides, I may live another sixty years now...or I may die tomorrow along with everyone else. All Kayaba has done for me is replace one imminent demise with another. One I now share with all of you."
Asuna let those words sink in for a moment. "So you really think we'll die?"
"There were ten thousand players at the start. We've lost over two hundred to bad luck. Not taking into account those who've already...quit. Some players were talking about it downstairs. Several have already decided to just take their chances and jump from the bridge over by the Chamber of Resurrection."
Honestly, Asuna did not need to be thinking about that right now.
"There's no telling how many more might decide to do the same before the night's over. Also...that chamber is now a mausoleum from what I've been told. A memorial to the fallen. The names of every player are inscribed there...and those who die have their names crossed out."
Asuna gripped her knees until her knuckles turned white. "Bastard…"
"I want to be hopeful," Merida assured. "If not for my sake then for all of you. It's not that I necessarily believe we will die. I'll...hold off that train of mine for you at least."
"But you're not like the rest of us. You're not afraid to die, are you?" Asuna guessed.
She shook her head. "It's not what scares me personally. I already knew how I was gonna die before I became trapped in here. Nothing's really changed."
"That's fair." A thought occurred to Asuna and she turned back towards Merida. "So what scares you, then?"
For the longest time, Merida said nothing. She just continued to silently stare out the window.
"When I was first told about the brain tumor, it felt like my life was being taken out of my control. I was a prisoner again. A prisoner to the cancer I'd thought I'd freed myself of when I was a child."
Asuna sat and quietly listened.
"I was bitter," she admitted solemnly. "Not at anyone or anything, in particular, mind you. I was just bitter at life in general. And it...drove me to very dark thoughts. More than once, I considered taking my own life."
"Jesus, Merida…"
"The funny thing is, even as I had those thoughts, I still didn't want to die. That wasn't my reason for wanting to end it all." She shook her head. "There was no reason for me to desire death. I knew I was going to die. I just didn't want to give whatever petty God decided my fate the benefit of the doubt by accepting it."
Asuna nodded in understanding. "You wanted to leave on your own terms."
"Foolish, now, when I think about it," she insisted. "We all die eventually. And we almost never get to choose when and how we go. I was a product of terrible luck, nothing more and nothing less." Merida smiled. "Eventually, I came to realize that. So rather than lash out in anger, I decided to fight back in a different way. By living. However I could, for as long as I could." She touched the stained glass of the window. "And then I heard about Sword Art Online. It was a one in a million chance, but with a bit of help from the hospital…" She turned back towards Kirito and smiled at him affectionately. "...and the kindness of an angel, I made it to this incredible world. A world where I could finally gain some semblance of control again before my inevitable end."
Her smile slowly faded as she turned her gaze back to the window and sighed.
"But once again my fate has been decided for me by forces beyond my control. Only this time it's different. This time, I have a name for my warden. We all do." A bitter scowl formed on her face. "I was finally at peace, Asuna. He took that away from me. Because now, it's not just my own death I must contend with. It's the deaths of everyone I hold dear that I may have to endure before I leave this world."
Her body began to quiver, both in rage and despair.
"And that...Asuna...is what truly scares me."
She frowned in sorrow for her friend. As much as Asuna hated Dr. Kayaba for trapping both herself and Kirito in this death game. This was something she truly would never forgive him for. Life had been so needlessly cruel to Merida and he took away the one good thing she had left. The only thing that offered her peace before the end. Turning her escape into a prison. Just like he did with all of them.
"What about you?" Merida finally asked. "What are you most scared of?"
"Aside from dying?" Asuna asked.
She nodded.
Asuna sighed in a melancholy tone before once again casting her gaze out the window. "I don't know. Probably the same thing as you. More than anything, I just don't want this new world to change who we are. I don't want us to become simple pieces in this man's twisted little game."
"It's going to change us," Merida admitted solemnly. "One way or another, I'm afraid."
"I know that. All the same…" She clenched her fists, a look of determination forming in her eyes. "...I want to fight back."
Merida peered at her curiously.
"Not just for my sake or Kirito's. I want to fight back for you, and Gatrie, and everyone. I want to prove to that madman that he does not own me. He does not own us."
Slowly, Merida smiled at her.
"If I'm going to die, then so be it. But I want to make sure that bastard knows he played no part in how I go. He won't decide how I live my life."
She turned towards Merida, that steely look still present in her eyes.
"I won't let anyone decide that for me ever again."
Merida turned back to the window. "I guess that means we're accepting his challenge."
Asuna nodded before turning back as well. "It would seem so."
As they peered over the city which once felt like a dream come true, they contemplated how they were once so desperate to escape their old lives and return to this magical place.
Ironic really, that they were now so determined to break free from it.