Nothing

The walk to the eastern mountain seemed to take even longer than before as Rin fought through the rising internal turmoil that was trying to take over. The trip she so desperately wanted had become something she could no longer stand. The girl wanted answers that could only be found in the mountains but she was beginning to question if it was worth it. Maybe it was because more of her memories had come forward and it made her wonder if what everyone said was true. Something was wrong with her, and it couldn't just be how her physical appearance didn't match up with her mind. Like Shippō had said before, it was like she knew more than she should for someone her age. 'What if' was becoming a question she constantly asked herself and she hated it. Why can't I just be me? But who was this 'me'? Was it an eleven year old plagued with a sixteen year old's mind or a sixteen year old trapped in an eight year old's body? A scream suddenly tore from her throat and echoed off the trees as she gripped her head once more. Why!

The remainder of the journey was fairly uneventful. Though Rin encountered more demons along the way, they were too wild to offer any answers. The same could be said for the next village she passed through. The humans did not need the aid of a slayer nor were they able to provide any information. This pattern continued for another week until the girl finally gave up on asking. Her first lead about where Sesshōmaru was heading was all she managed to get before reaching the base of the snowy mountain and the dense trees that surrounded it. As Rin began to venture into yet another forest, she was approached by hunters who were leaving.

"You there!" She turned towards them, "You aren't heading into the forest, are you?"

"I am. Why?"

"Demon activity has been higher than normal. A little girl like you would be in danger."

She flashed a fake smile as she raised her weapons, "Thank you, but I think I'll be fine."

Rin wiped blood away from her face as the carcass of yet another demon laid at her feet. The men were telling the truth about the forest being riddled with monsters. The girl silently thanked the demon slayers for training her; without them she would have never been able to make it this far. As she stepped over the body, Rin gave another dark smile. Using these weapons made her feel good. She looked at her blood soaked hands and felt excitement instead of disgust. What's wrong with me? The smile faded as she shook her head to clear it. Those types of thoughts had become more common the longer she spent on the journey. Me. It was a concept that Rin could no longer grasp as different parts of her mind fought to fill the void. She rubbed her arms as she shuddered, though it was not from the cold. All the girl could do was continue forward until she passed through the demon ridden forest. All while hoping that her internal war would subside.

As she hummed to herself, Rin couldn't help but think back to how she fell into this situation. Had Sesshōmaru never left her, had she never remembered, perhaps even had Naraku never been defeated, she would have never ended up in a place like this. Each event, no matter how small, had led her to this dark path. Rin ran a claw against a tree to hear the scratches it made. The sound was oddly soothing as she continued to walk alone. Every so often she felt eyes upon her, though they weren't like the Black Widows'; these eyes didn't make her uneasy. The girl casually checked her surroundings and caught a glimpse of a demon speeding past. This should be fun. As she readied her weapons, Rin felt her demeanor change. The rush that came from fighting put her in a high she didn't want to come down from. Maybe this 'is' the real me. She shook her head to dispel the thought but, no matter how hard she tried, the idea remained. Perhaps becoming a slayer was the path she was meant to be on. Fighting had become simultaneously exhilarating and calming, no matter who the foe was. Rin gave a devilish grin as another shadow zoomed past. There were at least two beasts trying to corner her and the anticipation was making her giddy.

In the blink of an eye, four tanuki demons closed in on the girl. For what they lacked in size, they made up for in unimaginable speed. The creatures laughed as Rin seemed to struggle to keep up; however, just when they thought the fight was over, the girl caught one of them by the neck with her chain. The other three immediately halted, no one had ever been able to catch them.

"Did you think you were winning?" Rin let out a dark laugh, "Where's your smugness from just moments ago? You seem…scared."

The captured monster's head rolled to the ground as she gave the others a twisted grin; having to fight them would offer much needed stress relief. The demons went from cocky creatures to ones that cowered in fear in a matter of seconds. They were afraid of her and rightfully so. Something about Rin was off as she fought them, even more than usual. She was matching their attacks and speed as if it was second, perhaps first, nature. Each scratch made by her claws transitioned so smoothly to the next that her targets were not given the chance to process what had happened. She continued to laugh as one by one each demon fell to the ground.

Rin smiled at the last tanuki, its body covered in blood, "Should I let you live?" the demon looked at her with pleading eyes, "Hmm, no, I don't think I will," as she clenched her fist a chorus of bones cracking could be heard.

The girl threw the limp body to the ground as she wiped her claws clean. How long had she been here? More importantly, how much further did she have to go? The sun was beginning to set meaning she would need to stay the night in the forest if she did not find the exit soon. The thought of it happening made Rin's blood curdle, though she wasn't sure if it was in a good or bad way. However, one thing was for certain, the longer she spent alone meant the longer she would be trapped with her thoughts. Thoughts that had been an intense cause of pain for nearly a month. The girl's mind was beginning to crack once again. More memories had come forward, though only small things such as what her favorite doll looked like or what her favorite foods were. Bits and pieces of her past were seeping through as she drew closer to the mountain. This 'must' be where my home is! She looked up at the burnt orange sky with pained eyes; was learning about her past worth the constant migraine she had developed? Rin held up her claws and watched them reflect the dwindling light off the metal hinges. They had become her prized possession and she couldn't imagine parting with them. What happened to the flowers? The girl gave a forced laugh, it had been over a year since she felt true happiness. The excitement flowers brought her had disappeared months ago. Deep down, she knew that the satisfaction fighting gave her was to only cover up how hollow she had become. But if she didn't have that, what would be left? The answer was nothing. The more Rin remembered, the more empty she became.

For the first time in months night terrors plagued her while she slept, though she couldn't remember what they were about when she awoke. The only proof she had was the sweat stains on her blanket and pillow. As she sat up and pulled the hair away from her face Rin saw the sun begin to creep over the mountain. Just a little bit further. Though she didn't have much motivation, there was still enough to get her to stand up and pack her things. The girl sighed, maybe it was time to accept it. Accept that her body and mind didn't mesh. Accept that she was causing herself pain, even though she didn't want, nor mean, to. Accept that she wasn't the girl from a year ago, the girl that was left behind. Trying to shake the thoughts away wasn't working and she would finally need to give in. I am Rin, the girl who has become empty inside because she wants to remember. Her eyes brightened, albeit barely, as she repeated the words out loud. Saying them again again was bringing her a mixture of calmness and sadness; but she was oddly okay with it. Though it was strange, it began to slowly refuel her purpose. Her depression on the matter was far from cured, but it offered a glimmer of happiness, of hope. A small fraction of her emotions had returned. The acceptance of her broken mind had brought Rin some of the peace she needed. But, most of all, this acceptance brought back a miniscule piece of her confidence with each step she took through the thinning forest. I am Rin, the girl who has become empty inside because she wants to remember...but I will not let it stop me.

It was not until mid morning that Rin was able to see the edge of the forest and the snowy valley it opened up to. At the base, smoke could be seen rising from a handful of huts along the path. When she entered the village, the girl saw children running around and making snow angels. As they laughed, she couldn't help but sigh at the sight; it reminded her of when she was their age. A time before the bandits attacked her village and she lost the warm home she had adored.

"Little girl!" she turned towards the woman's voice calling to her from a hut, "Did you pass through the Icy Forest on your own? Where are your parents!"

"I don't have any..."

Her eyes widened in shock as she invited Rin into her home. As she boiled a pot of water the woman stared at her in confusion, "You went into the forest on your own? Are you insane, child! You could have gotten hurt!"

"There was nothing to worry about," Rin watched the tea leaves swirl in her cup as she whispered, "I'm a demon slayer."

"A demon slayer?" The girl nodded, "But you're just a child!"

"You usually learn to be a slayer very young."

The woman continued to stare in disbelief, "Well...what brings you here? Almost no outsiders come here unless they're trying to go to the mountain," she raised an eyebrow at Rin as she winced, "No one ever ends up going there though. Even we don't dare. It can be very dangerous with the demons and harsh winds."

"...I have to. There is something I'm looking for up there."

"What on earth could it be? Nothing else is on Harpy no Yama."

"...huh?"

"Dear child, did you come here not knowing what lives at the top? Massive Harpies that terrorize anything that enters their domain."

Rin became silent, not because of the demons but because she did not remember them. Maybe they just moved there and that's why I don't know about them.

"Oh dear, I just realized I never introduced myself. I'm Mina, the current chief of this village."

Her eyes widened, Mina? No, that can't be right. She would be much younger. The woman once again raised an eyebrow at the girl when she didn't respond, "Ah, I'm Rin! Sorry, I had a friend years ago named Mina."

The woman laughed, "Well, I'm sure I'm far too old to be her."

She joined with a fake giggle, "I guess that's true."

"But, back to the serious matter," Mina's voice wavered, "Are you sure you want to continue to the mountain? Dangerous demons should be more than enough of a reason to turn back; even if you are a slayer."

"Thank you for your concern but...I must do this," Rin looked down but not quick enough for the chief to not see the passion in her eyes.

"Alright, then heed my advice. The Harpies hunt during the day. To sneak by them, you would need to travel either then or at night when they are sleeping; however, there are other demons that are active no matter what time of day. This is why no one travels there; you will have to fight no matter when you go."

"Understood."

As she began to walk out the door the woman called out to her, "Ah, and one more thing, Rin. A hunter swears he saw a new demon fly there. It resembled a man with fur over his shoulder and a white kimono."

Rin stopped and subconsciously began to dig her nails into the doorway, "A human-like demon...with fur?"

"That's right. But surely that cannot be true. No one, not even demons, willingly enters that mountain."

The girl let go of the frame and bowed before leaving. A male demon...with fur and a white kimono. Rin clenched her teeth, there was only one person that fit that description. Sesshōmaru.

Hi guys! I'm not completely back, still having a major case of writer's block for Arc 5, but I wanted to post something so you don't think I abandoned you :)

Be back soon! ~ Blind2reality