The events of Adamant had a strong impact on everyone. Although not all my companions crossed the Veil with me, the events of the battle were not easy to witness. Having to take arms against the Grey Wardens, who not more than 10 years ago had saved Thedas from the Fifth Ruin, was not easy for many of the Inquisition soldiers of Ferelderan origin. Seeing them turned into demons and slaves to the will of the enemy only made it worse.
Despite this, once we returned from the Veil, I could not banish them. While they were responsible for the Divine's death, I could care less about it. The Divine could be replaced by another woman, but no one but the Grey Wardens could stop a Ruin. And my memories as an orphan of the Ruin were still too fresh in my memory to let it happen to other children.
Stroud was dead. Hawke offered to lead the Grey Wardens while the Inquisition concentrated on Corypheus. I thanked her profusely. I had enough on my plate.
The return to Skyhold was long and silent. Several of my companions did not approve of my "benevolent" decision towards the Grey Wardens. I saved their comments and pleadings for when we were in the safety of the Skyhold. I knew I would not have much time to rest, but it was just an excuse to give me a little more time. Corypehus was far from defeated and I knew the next destination would be Halamshiral. There would not be much time for long debates. The date of the event was approaching, and Josie had made sure to leave our schedules clear to focus on the preparation for the event.
However, after having physically been inside the Fade and faced a Nightmare ifself, the idea of Halamshiral, nobles and stopping a murder seemed almost unimportant.
Back in Skyhold, I had to sadly accept that Varric and my clan had not yet returned, as well as the discontent of certain political figures about my alliance with the Grey Wardens. After a couple of days since our arrival, I decided to pay Solas a short visit. I knew he did not agree with my decision, but I counted on his advice. In truth, I was hoping that he might be able to help me a little with my dreams again. While our magic lessons were helping me immensely, after the encounter with Nightmare, the nights had become complex again.
When I arrived at the rotunda, Solas was concentrating on his usual tasks, but instead of his expression of serenity and focus, his face was still etched with rage.
"I can't believe the Grey Wardens could even concede such a plan! Do they really think they could provoke the old gods to destroy them and thus wipe out the Ruin? They have no idea what forces they are playing with." He began to tell me as soon as I was close enough.
"Solas, forget about it. We've already stopped them. That wasn't the Grey Wardens, that was Corypheus." I knew Solas wasn't happy about my decision, but I had no energy left to argue any further.
"The Grey Guards have always been dangerous. They care about nothing but stopping the Ruins. Like a small child chasing a butterfly off a cliff. Except this time they could have taken us all with them." Solas replied disdainfully. Despite my wishes, I caught myself becoming enraged by his words.
"Solas, that has not always been the case. The heroine of Ferelden intervened in the political situation in Ferelden, preventing a civil war, which could have been as catastrophic as a Ruin. I don't agree with their methods, what they did was terrible and beyond anyone's comprehension. But they thought they were doing what was best." I rebutted by raising the tone of my voice a little.
"Those idiots and their duty. Responsibility is not experience. Action is not inherently superior to reaction. That even that idea should have crossed their mind, I find incomprehensible." Solas spat back.
"Solas, I don't have time for this." I motioned to leave. Our brief encounter was becoming exactly what I wanted to escape from. "My decision is made, and the Grey Wardens will have to live with what they did. Do I have to make the decision as well? Is it my place to judge them as well? That is not my responsibility." I said as I placed my hands on my forehead. The bad sleep and this whole thing was giving me a headache.
"Sadly, that is not an option for you, Inquisitor. The fate of Thedas is connected to your every decision. Do you think you can judge the actions of everyone around you so lightly? Or even worse, let them be without repercussions?" he came back at me harshly, and my patience reached a limit.
"Habren, I have not requested this lesson. And let me remind you that your place is to advise me, not to question my decisions." I replied insolently. "Do you think I would have allowed the Grey Wardens to have wandered into the Deep Roads? Do you think I thought it a good idea to attack the vestiges of powers as ancient and mysterious as the Ruin itself? Of course not." He looked like he was going to continue answering me, but I went on before he could.
"I know you don't hold the Dalishans in very high regard, but let me confess that they didn't raise a fool. If I had to bring in the army of the Inquisition to stop them, I would have. And in fact, if you were paying a little attention, you'd notice that's exactly what I did."
I took a breath of air. Unlike the arguments with the others, the one with Solas had affected me greatly. I could feel my breathing quickening and my throat tightening.
"Do you think that was easy for me? Do you think I ever imagined myself taking up arms against the Grey Wardens?" I felt a lump begin to form in my throat.
"You seem to be focused on the past, but you forget that other people have memories too." I struggled to get the words out.
"And those memories are mine, seen with my own eyes and scarred my own flesh. Not of some spirit of the Veil." I felt my eyes water. "And I may be the very Herald of Andraste, but I cannot stop Ruins. So forgive me for considering future threats. Forgive me for wanting to prevent more Ruin's orphans." I managed to get to the end of what I wanted to say before tears forced me to stop. I felt like a fool. Solas looked utterly petrified in front of me, not quite sure what to do or say. For the tiniest second, I felt alone and weak again.
"I'm sorry, da'len. I've spent a lot of time alone. It's hard to get used to working with others again. To be for other people, being supportive." I raised my gaze to his eyes, in which I could see his regret. Slowly, he closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me. It was a little tense at first. I wondered how long it had been since he had offered support or comfort to someone close to him. He seemed out of practice. I put my head on his man and his hands stroked my hair. His scent of different kinds of herbs and earth reminded me of more pleasant times.
I knew I didn't regret what he had said, but I did regret what his words had made me feel. And that, for that instant, was enough. I remembered that Solas had asked me for time and space, and I was still willing to give it to him. But that could wait until my face was dry again.
After Adamant, there was still the matter of Empress Celene to settle. Josie had managed to secure us invitations to the ball at the Halamshiral Palace, but that was not enough. Considering the nature of this mission, that day's meeting at the War Table included all my companions. Only Varric was absent, but according to the latest reports he was due to arrive in Skyhold before the day of the event. And it seems that someone had forgotten to let Sera know, for some mysterious reason.
If we wanted to prevent the assassination in time, we had to manage to infiltrate enough of Leliana's agents to get as much information as possible. To do this, we needed an alternative that could distract the guests and allow our agents to move freely. When Leliana discussed her plan at the War Table, I could not contain my surprise. And after seeing Cullen and Cassandra's faces, I had to hold back my laughter as well.
"A masquerade ball, really? That's the big plan that will allow us to stop the assassination of Empress Celene?" Cullen asked unconvinced.
"I know the rules of the game are not of particular interest to the commander, but the truth is that it is a rather interesting plan. Empress Celene knows the political situation is complex, and she needs to maintain the Council's support at all costs. For that to happen, she must keep the nobles satisfied and loyal, and nothing keeps the Orlesian nobility happier than drama and intrigue." Josie replied with a smile.
"And how are we supposed to convince the empress to make the Grand Ball a costume party? Our warning letters had been intercepted. I doubt we can get our fashionable opinions across to her." Cassandra said with annoyance.
"Dear Cassandra, there is nothing to tell the Empress, nor does she have to announce anything. The official means of communication for the nobility is rumour. At this very moment, rumours are already circulating in different noble houses about the purchase of different materials, new masks and the most dramatic theatrical designers are being called in. All it took was to put the right rumours in the right places. Now no one will dare to show up out of costume, for fear of revealing that they are not privy to the latest secrets of the court." Leliana explained breezily.
"And I don't suppose you have any idea where those rumours came from, do you, dear Nightgale?" I said as I sighed. "And I suppose suitable disguises will be what your agents will need to infiltrate the guests."
"Exactly, Inquisitor. They will be exposed in front of the world, and at the same time they will be invisible." Leliana said gladly.
"But how do you know that the killers themselves won't be hidden among the guests? With disguises it could be even more complex to discover them." Cullen objected. It seemed he really had no desire to disguise himself.
"With or without disguises, we have no means of discovering the empress's potentials killers. This technique will only make it easier for us to have more forces available while we investigate. Saving the Empress's life will still be in the hands of the Inquisitor and whatever team decides to arrive." Josie replied confidently.
"Well, it seems the situation has been settled." After Adamant I had little desire for disguises, but he knew Josie and Leliana were right. There was no time to waste on arguments. I just hoped Varric could inform us of something before we had to leave Skyhold. I would have no desire for the games of Orlesian nobility while the safety of my clan remained a mystery.
"Oh, not at all Inquisitor. We still have some very important matters to settle." Josie said.
"And what will these very important matters consist of, Ambassador?" I asked, dreading the answer.
"We have to schedule all the measurements, select the fabrics, call in the designers and specialists. Everyone needs to be made aware of the minimum standards of etiquette, dancing, manner, posture, music..."
"I don't know, boss." Bull interrupted Josie, turning to me. "I'm not sure if my contract included those kinds of services. I may have to readjust my rate." He commented as he scratched a horn.
"The Winter Palace can be as dangerous as the Storm Coast, Bull. Going unprepared would be like leaving that axe of yours at home. I don't think I'd recommend it." Leliana commented. I nodded silently.
"The mission is to prevent an assassination, which if carried out, could bring the chaos that Corypheus needs. If I have to dress in silk and learn to laugh decently, I will." I said with determination.
"Which brings us to the reason for this meeting." Josie said, taking back the floor. "Inquisitor, who will you take with you?" she asked. I had already been thinking about it for a couple of days. Considering the specifics of the mission, I would have to put together a different team than my usual choices.
"Dorian, Vivien and Solas." I answered after mulling it over for a couple of seconds. The room fell silent. Cassandra was the one who dared to break it.
"Inquisitor, I'm not sure that's the best alternative..." She started to say, but I didn't let her get very far.
"What's wrong with my selection, Cassandra? Would two elves be too much for the poor nobles? I thought we were past this part, or is it the apostate part now? It's so hard to keep track of all their little quirks" I knew Cassandra had no problem with elves and elves, but maybe she was worried about the Inquisition looking too 'elven'. While I understood her intention, I didn't mind in the slightest.
"I agree with Cassandra. We cannot allow the Inquisition to be represented in this way. Look at Solas, please." Dorian interjected.
"I'm sorry, what?" said Solas indignantly.
"No, that outfit is sorry. It's like he's already in costume, what are you supposed to be? Some kind of a woodsman? Is it a Dalish thing?" He turned to me. "Didn't you say he dislikes the Dalish? I am confused. Ohh, is that some kind of statement?" Part of me knew I had to bash Dorian for being a racist, and at the same time, for putting this issue on the table at an actually official meeting. And the other part of me wanted to laugh out loud at Solas' expression.
"No, it's not a 'statement'. That was all Solas replied.
"Well, it says "apostate hobo," to me." Dorian commented.
"Unwashed apostate hobo, more specifically." Vivien added.
"Well, in that case it's rather convenient that you're not the ones making that decision. Because I've already made it quite clear who my companions will be." I interrupted that attack, before we continued to run away from the subject.
"Could you suggest an alternative in case Ser Solas does not wish to attend the events? I am well aware that such festivities are not among his interests." Josie consulted, making use of all her diplomacy. But this time it was Vivien who answered for me.
"Oh Josephine, my dear. I'm afraid our dear Inquisitor is right. We have no one else suitable to accompany us, and refusing the invitation would be seen as an offence. So Solas will have to work hard to accommodate a somewhat unusual scenario."
"First Enchantress, are you sure? Perhaps we could reconsider..." Josie continued, but Vivien interrupted her again.
"Of course Ambassador. The other alternatives are a qunari and a dwarf. I have nothing against Bull or Ser Thetras, but you can imagine the halls of Halamshiral being a suitable place for them. And I don't think you mean to suggest Sera as an alternative."
"And what about Cole?" I had dismissed taking him because I thought such a congregated space might be confusing to his mind, but it struck me that Vivien didn't even mention him.
"Oh, Inquisitor, my dear. You're not seriously considering taking an abomination to Halamshiral? For all we know, it could transform to fill the dance floor with blood. It's no place for a demon." Vivien said disdainfully.
"Oh, I don't know. If we're going to take you, I didn't think there'd be a problem taking one more." Although several laughed, Vivien's face remained unperturbed.
"Oh, stop indulging that thing." She said with feigned disinterest.
"Dirthda is not a thing." Cole replied, as he appeared out of nowhere, sitting at the window.
"Well said. Thank you, Cole. Anyway, I stand by my decision. I consider them to be the best alternative for the dance. We don't know what we're up against, but we know that magic is subtler than a sword. And to stop this assassination without destroying the reputation of the Inquisition, we must be subtle." I clarified once more.
"Finally, if I'm allowed to say something in the matter, I must declare that I'm in total disposition. If the Inquisitor deems my present beneficial, I have no choice but to confirm my attendance at this event. I consider myself fit to handle the expectations. And the truth is, I adore those little frilly cakes, so famous at Orlesian parties." Solas finally interjected. Our encounters had been cold and shy since our last discussion, but I thought I saw half a smile hidden in her conciliatory tone. Leliana took the opportunity to close the discussion.
"Excellent. That settles it. I'm afraid we've used up enough of your companions' and advisors' time. I suggest we continue this tomorrow, when the Ambassador has clearer news regarding preparations." Leliana proposed. And with a nod from me, the meeting was adjourned and everyone began to leave.
In an act that surprised myself, I approached Solas on my way out.
"I'm sorry. Vivien, for a change, overstepped in the discussion. And do please ignore Dorian." I said as I reached his side. He responded to me with the softest, gentlest expression I had seen on his face since our discussion.
"Don't worry about it Da'len. I'm sure you wouldn't waste an opportunity to be able to investigate the First Enchantress' true intentions. Now that she had left them so clearly revealed, I reckon you'll know how to handle her."
Solas was right. Vivien was a useful contact, but she was not a friend. Her opinions of Solas were no different from those she would have of me and my clan, even though around me she always tried to appear diplomatic. As "dear" as I might seem to her, in her eyes I was nothing more than a savage who ended up with a power she did not.
"And you're not going to ask me why I requested her assistance on this mission?" I asked, testing the waters. Now that our discussion seemed to be in the past, I wanted to spend a little more time with him.
"As I told the Ambassador, if the Inquisitor deems my assistance beneficial, I have no choice but to attend. As you mentioned to me a couple of days ago, my job as your advisor, it is not my place to question your orders." He said earnestly, his arms folded behind his back, his classic posture. I couldn't help but feel a tinge of disappointment at his response. I wished that some part of him also enjoyed spending time with me.
"Besides, there's nothing like the intrigue of court. I'll see you at rehearsals, I guess." He added with a half-smile, before turning and leaving.
After several days of taking measurements and lessons in various Orlesian dances, manners and customs, the time to leave for Halamshiral was approaching. And with it, the final fitting of the costumes. I was in my room surrounded by Leliana, Josie and Vivian, who chattered around me as they adjusted every detail of my appearance.
The dress was made up of several garments. First, it was an olive green lace blouse. The lace formed a lattice of vines that ran down my arms and across my chest. On the sides and back the material went all the way down to the floor, but in the front there was a wide opening that showed all of my legs. On the bottom I wore dark leather shorts. That would have been considered unseemly for Orlesian fashion, were it not for the high leather boots that covered much of my skin exposed by the shorts. Only two inches of my thighs were visible. A golden corset covered my abdomen to protect my decorum.
My hair was combed high, in a series of intricate braids, linked with different brooches in the shape of leaves and small flowers. Instead of wearing a mask, as was customary at the balls of the Orlesian nobility, I had an intricate golden veil that barely covered my eyes. My vallaslin and pointed ears were exposed and clearly visible.
"Is this really necessary Josie?" I said as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. While I enjoyed the way I looked, I wasn't sure it was the most appropriate attire to avoid assassination.
"Yes, Inquisitor, totally and utterly necessary." She said as she arranged the final details of the dress.
"And doing these dress fittings and dance rehearsals, do you really think this will help the Inquisition?"
Leliana interjected on this occasion.
"Oh yes Inquisitor, you have no idea of all the benefits this will bring. We can't have all the Orlesian nobility mocking our leader for not knowing how to waltz properly, can we?"
"And what's with this mask? I thought the Orlesian fashion was to not let your face show."
Vivien was the one to answer on this occasion. "The masks are more than a fashion, my dear. It is the very spirit of the Game, hiding your emotions and intentions from others, a challenge to find out who is better at pulling the strings. But in this case, we play a different game. Not only must the Inquisitor watch all the members of the ball, but the eyes of the guests will be on you, watching to see if you are an ally, an enemy, or simply an insignificance, a nuisance." She said as she walked around me, carefully analysing every detail of my body and wardrobe.
"Your mission that night will not only be to stop the assassination of Empress Celene, but also to enchant the Orlesian nobility. I don't know which of the two tasks is more challenging."
"One thing is certain, First Enchantress. No one will be able to take their eyes off you." Leliana said as she tightly knotted the last threads of the corset that constricted my chest.
"Your escorts await you in the ballroom, for the final dance lesson. Along with a small audience, I should state." She said complacently, as she handed me a golden bow and a leather carjad with gold detailing. My favourite part of the costume.
"Excellent! It'll be a little training." Vivien said complacently.
Oh, Fenedhis.
I walked into the room where they were waiting for me and the reaction of the people proved Leliana right. Bull approached me, looking me over from head to toe. Relying on Josie's advice, I had asked him to stay in Skyhold during the mission in Halamshiral. While his strength was always welcome, I doubted the nobles would be very comfortable with a qunari in the main hall. Bull had only come to enjoy the show.
"Wow, boss. Nightingale and the Ambassador really went all the way out."
"Vivien helped too." I replied, trying to ignore all the stares around me. I couldn't help but feel ridiculous. What was I doing here, dressed in leather and lace, while I still hadn't heard from my clan? After what happened in Adamant?
"Yes, of course. I can see the style of the First Enchantress everywhere." He said as he continued to look at me. I kept my cool, trying to manage the awkwardness and focus my thoughts on the present. Vivien was right. This would be excellent training.
"Hey Chief, I don't want to sound rude, but isn't that a bit too... Dalish? I'm not well versed in Orlesian tendencies, but I get the idea that they and Dalish don't hold each other in very high regard."
His question made me laugh. It seemed to me the inaccuracy of the century.
"Yes, Bull, that's right. Josie at first wanted to come up with something more neutral, but I told her that if we were going to do this costume thing, I wasn't going to miss the opportunity to remind these nobles that I'm very Dalish."
My response seemed to please him. "Well said, boss. And what's your costume all about anyway? With that bow, I'd say you're a huntress."
"She's not merely a huntress." Solas' voice made me jump slightly. I turned my face to watch as he approached me. His eyes were watching me intently. His sweep of my face and body was much more subtle than Bull's, but it warmed my cheeks in a second. He came walking towards us. He was also wearing his disguise. My eyes almost popped out when I realised what his disguise was.
"The Inquisitor will attend the Halamshiral Grand Ball dressed as Andruil, the goddess of the hunt. For those who can tell, they will catch the wonderful irony. Sadly, most of them will only linger on her stunning appearance."
If I thought my cheeks were hot before, now I felt them burning. Yet I kept my face impassive. Good thing Bull responded before I could say anything.
"Of course you would know that, Solas. And who are you, some kind of wolf?" he asked.
"Fen'harel. The Dread Wolf. He who hunts alone." I replied, unable to take my eyes off him.
Solas smiled at me. He bowed slightly and held out his hand to me.
"Our lesson awaits. Shall we dance, Da'len?"
I took his hand and nodded silently. For the first time since I had news of my clan, I could feel a hint of excitement for the upcoming dance.