Chapter 23 - Effective Tool

Tony opens one of the towelettes and cleans his hands with it. Then, he moves towards Steve with the nutrient paste and fluids. He scoops some out of his and eats it. Then he scoops some out of Steve's and feeds it to him.

"Barnes? You ready to eat?" Tony calls softly.

"Give me a min ... minute to ... to acclimate," Bucky mumbles and slurs his words, half to himself. He closes his eyes and shifts his position a little … he gasps at the awkward pleasure and humiliation that rolls through him.

"Oh, Fuck!" He moans with the movement.

"Ok." Tony proceeds to feed himself and Steve their nutrient paste and fluids until it's all empty.

"Buck … it's your turn," Tony coaxes.

"Yeah, fine." Bucky breathes in and sighs, but it causes another wave of pleasure and pain to coil through his lower abdomen and into his groin. "Oh, God," he hisses as it happens.

Tony goes over to Bucky and begins to feed him. Bucky keeps his eyes closed so he doesn't have to look at Steve and Tony ... doesn't have to acknowledge his predicament ... doesn't have to see the pity in their eyes.

They don't know … this is uncomfortable … this aches … this is humiliating ... but this doesn't hurt ... much. His mind is swimming. This is different from a beating.

Maybe this is just to shame him ... and he can endure that … he thinks … maybe … at least for a while. His thoughts are so fuzzy.

"How often did they do something like this to you?" Steve asks quietly.

Bucky drinks the last of his electrolyte fluid.

"This? In particular? A kinky choke collar and an anal hook and a cock cage and a tuning rod and drugs? Altogether? Never, actually. Not that I can remember, at least."

His eyes are glassy. He laughs a little hysterically and gasps as the hook hits his prostate and the next roll of tension passes through his body.

"This is a new twist. I didn't usually get to have any pleasure ... 'course when they did let me, it always hurt more ... but it was usually a beating rather than this. I dunno … this is weird. It's all so confusing ... I dunno. But this is not as bad as usual … I think."

"Shit! Not as bad as usual?" Tony spits. "Goddamn it!"

Bucky looks at Tony sadly, "You do realize that Hydra … when they had me before … they weren't … you know ... they weren't exactly kind … they weren't nice. They're Hydra. Order through pain."

"What exactly did they do?" Steve asks.

Bucky loses it. His thoughts hurt. He thinks his brain is rolling around in his head.

"Fuck, Steve! Are you fucking kidding me? You wanna know what they did? Sexually? Because you've gotten a pretty damn good idea since we've been here of what they've done ... what they're still doing! I don't know if it's worse ... It's different ... Anyone can grit their teeth and work through a beating. A fucking is different."

"Yeah, sexually. What did they do ... before?" Steve whispers.

"Jesus, Steve. You want me to spell it out? What do you think they fucking did to me? They fucking raped me … they raped me for hours at a time ... they raped me for years.

He groans aloud as the anal hook rubs more on his prostate and the cock cage keeps him from getting fully erect. Tony can see he's trying to focus through the pain and the drugs.

"Is that what you wanna hear?"

"Did you know that rape is an effective tool for enforcing compliance … for bending someone to your will? I was raped by agents … by soldiers … by guards … by orderlies … by men ... by women ... by objects. Electric batons and wine bottles.

Someone would shove their dick in my ass, and another would shove his down my throat. They'd hold my nose so I couldn't breathe. They'd hold it until I started to pass out, and then they'd let me take one … ONE … single breath, and they'd keep going." His whole body shudders at the memory, but that only moves the anal hook again. "FUCK!" He yells.

"They liked raping the Asset. The Asset would comply, but they LOVED raping me … when I'd be out of cryo too long … and they hadn't drugged me or wiped me in a while. I'd start to remember things. It was even more fun for them then, 'cause I started resisting and putting up a fight. They liked that.

"And it didn't matter what they used to rape me … they didn't have to be careful. I had the serum. I heal fast. I wasn't going to die from internal bleeding or suffocation.

They could tie me up or use chains or choke me or paralyze me or electrocute me or cut me with knives." There are tears in Bucky's eyes now. He's running out of steam, and the drugs are overcoming his rational thinking. His body shakes with a tremor as he bites his lip and closes his eyes against a few tears that threaten to fall.

"They could fuck me however they wanted, whenever they wanted, and for however long they wanted. It went on and on and on as everyone on-duty took their turn. It went on longer when some of them came back for seconds. So yeah, that's what they did …" he hiccups, "did to me … and so ... I guess ... I guess, technically … technically this is nothing new. I dunno..." he slurs.

The tears spill over Buck's eyes as he takes a deep breath, but the anal hook catches his prostate again. He moans with pleasure as it rubs, but then hisses in pain as his cock tries to fill with blood. "Oh, FUCK," he shudders desperately.