Chapter 21 - Bad Vibes

"Have you been taking your medication consistently?"

As per their routine, Bruce nodded. Maybe it was because she knew how skeptical he had been about finding medication that would work, or maybe she just liked to get those sorts of questions out of the way first, but it was always the first thing Doctor Sofen asked. "Leonard won't let me get away with not taking it, but now, he thinks it might be making things worse."

The doctor looked up from her notes. "And what do you think, Bruce? Do you think it's the medication?"

"I don't know, but it isn't helping anyway. I would have stopped taking it already, but Leonard wanted me to consult you first."

Sofen gave him the look of concern that she often did whenever he mentioned Leonard. "Bruce, do you think it's possible you're becoming a little codependent? You're always telling me what Leonard said, or what he wants you to do.'"

"We are in a relationship," Bruce told her, even though part of him wondered if she had a point. "And when it comes to something like this, I value his opinion as a psychiatrist."

"I'm not sure that it's a relationship that's healthy for you, or for him."

"What makes you say that? Did Leonard—" No, that wasn't something he could ask; whatever Leonard had talked about with Doctor Sofen was between the two of them. "Sorry, I know you can't tell me."

"I hope you don't mind if I remind you again that Leonard might be a psychiatrist, but he isn't your psychiatrist." Sofen scribbled something on her notepad, then tapped her chin with her pen as she asked another question that had become part of their routine. "Bruce, since the last time I saw you, have you had any thoughts about harming yourself or making another attempt at suicide?"

"I couldn't do either of those things if I wanted to," Bruce reminded her. Sofen gave him a look that told him she was getting as tired of hearing him sidestep the question as he was of sidestepping it; they both knew that what he had said wasn't an answer to the question she had asked."I guess I do think about it sometimes," he admitted. "I'm really not suicidal or anything, but sometimes I do still think about ways that I might be able to—well, you know. I've even run some experiments on my own cells, to see if I can find any toxins that the other guy might be susceptible to."

"But you aren't suicidal?" It was clear Sofen didn't believe him, and given what he'd just said, he couldn't blame her.

"It's just a matter of scientific inquiry, and so far, I haven't had any success." That was an outright lie, of course—at least the part about it being only a matter of "scientific inquiry." He hadn't turned into the Hulk at all since Latveria. Hopefully that meant that he had regained control, but if he ever became a danger to others again, he would need to have a plan.

"If it's simply a matter of scientific inquiry, have you told anyone, other than me, about these experiments?"

Instead of answering, Bruce stared down at the rug in front of him, tracing the geometric orange and brown pattern with his eyes. Sofen had a point; Tony would flip out if he realized that he had been paying for him to do that kind of research, and Leonard would never let him hear the end of it either.

Sofen gave him a few moments, but when he didn't respond, she continued. "Bruce, this is serious. I'm starting to wonder if you might be better off in an inpatient treatment facility."

Wonderful, now she thought he needed to be hospitalized. He should have just kept his mouth shut. "Sometimes it feels like I already live in a mental hospital," joked Bruce, forcing himself to smile up at her.

Sofen didn't laugh. "Hearing you say that only makes me think that you would be better off in an environment where you could focus on recovering without so many distractions. As for the medication, I'd actually like for you to try a higher dosage, and we'll add an antidepressant to it."

"Are you sure it's a good idea to put me on more medication?"

"If you aren't comfortable with the idea, we could try to address your symptoms with hypnotherapy. I know you've been reluctant to try it—"

"I'm just not sure how good an idea it would be to try to use it to uncover repressed memories from my childhood. Some of the things I do remember are bad enough."

"Did Leonard advise you against it?"

"No, I still haven't discussed it with Leonard." He had wanted to, but he didn't want Leonard worrying about him more than he already did. "I did do some research into it myself, though. Isn't one of the biggest concerns with trying to recall repressed memories the risk of creating false memories instead?"

"Bruce, as a doctor yourself, surely you can recognize the difference between having a PhD in clinical psychiatry and doing a Google search."

"As someone with seven PhD's, I'm also fairly good at being able to discern whether or not an information source is reliable." Bruce immediately regretted how that had come out; he usually tried to avoid throwing how many degrees he had in anyone's face. After all, it was an achievement that probably sounded more impressive than it actually was.

"I apologize, Bruce; I didn't mean to insult your intelligence. It is true that there might be a risk of creating false memories in some patients, mainly those who already suffer from delusions or hallucinations. Since you don't, I thought the benefits would outweigh the risks. But even if we try hypnotherapy, we don't have to try to recover your repressed memories. We can focus on the symptoms of your anxiety and depression. All I would do is guide you to work through the issues that might be at the root of them while you're in an open, relaxed state similar what you might achieve on your own through meditation."

Bruce had to admit that it all sounded perfectly reasonable, and he felt bad for questioning Doctor Sofen's judgment. "I guess we could try it."

"If you're open to it, we can try it now. Just give me a second to let reception know we're not to be disturbed for the next hour."

( ¬ ‿¬)ʃ\̥ (〠_〠)

Pepper was almost as nervous as she'd been that time Tony had asked her to hack into the computer in Obadiah's office. She told herself that there wasn't a reason for her to be. All she was going to do was act like this was a normal appointment with a psychiatrist and see if the woman said anything suspicious.

How had she let Tony talk her into this? If Leonard hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary about the woman's methods, how was she going to? She would be looking for it, but that was the only advantage she would have. She had a Master's in Business Administration, not a PhD in psychiatry.

"Doctor Sofen's last appointment is running a little over," the receptionist told her.

It had taken her almost two months to get an appointment in the first place, and now the woman was going to make her wait? Pepper wanted to complain that she was a busy person and that schedules were meant to be kept to, but she knew it wasn't the receptionist's fault. It was also possible that whoever was in Sofen's office now was having some sort of crisis that needed attention. So instead, she wandered over to the waiting area and began rummaging through its magazine rack. She couldn't say she was impressed with the selection, which consisted mostly of fashion magazines and cheap tabloids. One of them was the Weekly World Enquiry, which was the only publication still speculating about the Avenger's trip to Latveria; even the Bugle had backed off by mid-November.

Luckily, the Enquiry was the kind of paper no one took seriously. Pepper usually didn't even bother checking it, since anyone reasonable knew that the kind of stories they ran were complete fabrications just by their outrageous headlines, which were invariably things like "Military Test Pilot Abducted by Aliens Returns to Earth" or "Cat Turns Out to Be Alien." She tried to tell herself that if anything, that this sort of garbage rag was still fixated on the Latveria scandal might be to the Avenger's benefit, since anyone with an ounce of sense knew that ninety-nine percent of the things they published were pure fiction.

But Pepper froze when she saw the cover of their latest issue, which featured a picture of Loki and Sif walking down Park Avenue, with Loki dressed in Sif's old clothes. The headline read: "Alien Women Spotted Walking Through Manhattan on Christmas Eve." The byline was worse: "Could They be Ho-Ho-Ho's Hired by Thor?" Pepper looked around to make sure no one would see her picking up the tawdry paper, then flipped it open to take a look at the story. As she had feared, there were other pictures, including one that showed them getting in her car. The article itself speculated that based on their style of dress, the women could be Asgardian, and that based on the "battle-panties" Loki had worn, they might be Asgardian prostitutes. The fact that the car they'd been seen getting in could be traced to Iron Man's girlfriend gave credence to the theory that they had been sent for by Thor, to comfort him after he'd been dumped by his "astrologist" girlfriend, Jane Foster.

This she would have to do something about. While she wasn't worried about the Weekly World Enquiry running stories claiming that the Avengers had been in Latveria, what if someone saw the photo and recognized Loki as 'Lauren,' the Stark Industries intern? She'd just have to get out ahead of it and issue a press statement saying that Lauren had been at a costume party on Christmas Eve, and that she and her friend had gotten stranded out in the cold. She had called and asked Pepper to pick her up, because her parents had been unavailable, and Pepper had taken her back to the tower—something like that. She could work out the details later. Pepper made sure the receptionist wasn't looking before folding up the paper and sticking it in her purse.

Pepper looked at her watch and realized she had been sitting there for almost twenty minutes. Could this be part of Doctor Sofen's insidious plan to drive her patients over the edge? "Excuse me," she called out to the receptionist. "Is the wait going to be much longer? Should I reschedule?"

"Hold on just a second," the receptionist said, then looked at something on her computer. "I could reschedule you for some time in February."

"February? That's ridiculous—" Pepper reminded herself again that the receptionist was not at fault. "Sorry; I'll just wait."

After another twenty minutes, the door to Sofen's office opened, and out walked a noticeably disoriented looking Bruce. He caught sight of Pepper. "Pepper? What are you doing here?" His voice sounded a little rough.

"I have an appointment with Doctor Sofen. Leonard referred me to her," she lied, and regretted it almost immediately, realizing that if Bruce asked Leonard about it, she'd be caught. "Bruce, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. Maybe I should go back to the tower with you. I can reschedule my appointment."

"No, like I said, I'm fine. Leonard's meeting me for lunch, anyway." Pepper wondered if he was lying about that. Today was Friday, and he usually saw Jessica Jones for anger management sessions on Fridays. But it was still only two days after Christmas, so maybe she wasn't coming this week.

"Ms. Potts, you can go in now," said the receptionist.

Pepper would have to trust in Bruce's ability to call a cab on his own. "I'll see you back at the tower later," she told him, and headed through the open door of Sofen's office.

For a moment, she just stood there uncertainly, taking in the room. It was a normal enough office; less than a third the size of the room Leonard used for his therapy sessions (and therefore a lot cozier; the old executive lounge that Tony had insisted on converting for him was much too large in almost everyone's opinion but Tony's.) Natural light streamed in from the large windows on one wall, in front of which sat several potted tropical plants that were blooming even though it was winter. Pepper wondered if Sofen cared for them herself, or if she had one of those services come in to change the plants out every so often, like they did in the tower. The furniture looked like it was from the seventies but was in good enough condition and stylish enough to be considered "retro" and not just old.

"Shut the door, if you don't mind, and please take a seat." Pepper startled at the voice, which came from a woman who seemed to almost blend in with her surroundings. Like in the photos she had seen of Doctor Sofen, she wore a large pair of plastic framed glasses, a chunky sweater, and her blonde hair pulled into a messy ponytail. But as Tony had pointed out, you could tell that underneath it all, she was by no means an unattractive woman. Pepper wondered if she dressed the way she did with a purpose; after all, it would likely have constituted a distraction for at least half of her patients if she dressed in a way that could remotely be considered "sexy."

Pepper did as she had been asked, perching on the edge of the long sofa across from the doctor's chair with her purse next to her and her hands clasped over her knees.

The other woman smiled at her. "So, what brings you to see me, Pepper?"

Sofen seemed like a pleasant enough woman, and Pepper had to wonder if Tony's suspicions had been totally off base. It wouldn't be the first time. "As you know, I'm the CEO of the world's leading tech company. It's a rewarding job, but also extremely stressful. I'm also dating Tony Stark, who's—well, he's Tony Stark."

"I imagine that would be stressful, being in a relationship with a man who's constantly putting himself into danger as a so-called 'superhero.'"

So-called? Pepper decided to let it go; even if Tony was a hero, he had never liked being called one, and calling him a "super" anything felt like a step too far even to her. After all, under the suit, Tony was just a normal person—well, almost normal, so long as you didn't take into account the money or the arc reactor stuck in the middle of his chest. "It is stressful, but that's not even the most stressful part of it."

"It was speculated in the tabloids a while back that the two of you are secretly engaged. Is that true? Everything you say in our sessions is confidential of course."

Pepper almost denied it, but then decided that if she told Sofen, and she went to the press, the consequences wouldn't be too dire. Plus, it would be evidence of malpractice, which was what she was looking for. "We've been engaged for several months, actually."

"Congratulations. Any idea when the wedding's going to be?"

"We haven't talked about it." She had a feeling that Tony was waiting for her to bring it up. If it had been left up to him, they probably would have gone to the courthouse or taken a weekend trip to Las Vegas and gotten it over with by now, but he knew that wasn't the kind of wedding she would want. Besides, why waste a one-time use "get out of jail free" card? Their engagement, let alone their wedding was sure to be a media circus—and maybe that was why, deep down, she dreaded it actually happening. "Not much would change if we got married, anyway. We already live together."

"What about children?"

"I always thought I'd have at least one. Tony was on the fence about it at first because he worried he wouldn't make a good parent, but now I have the feeling he wants to have more than one."

"You're already in your forties, aren't you?"

Pepper couldn't help feeling like Sofen was asking too many personal questions upfront, but then, part of her job was to ask questions. "I'm forty-one, but I had my eggs frozen a few years ago. I'm not sure if we'll use them, though. We might adopt instead. After all, why bring more kids into the world when there's already so many that need homes? Especially older children, who aren't as likely to be adopted." Obviously, she wasn't going to even hint that they had as good as adopted three already.

"I'm not sure I would recommend that," Sofen told her. "You and your fiancé are both extremely busy people, and older children who have been orphaned or abandoned often have complex psychological needs."

"Which we have the resources to provide for, including a psychiatrist who lives in our building." Sure, dealing with Loki and the twins could be a bit of a headache sometimes, but she already couldn't imagine life without them.

"Yes, about that—isn't it a little awkward, having a staff psychiatrist whose life is so entwined with the lives of the Avengers? While it isn't public, you and I both know he's dating another patient of mine. Some would call that a conflict of interest. I know Bruce considers you and the Avengers to be 'family,' which means that a member of your 'family' is dating the psychiatrist who's seeing everyone else in the 'family' professionally."

Every time the woman said the word "family," Pepper could hear quotes around the word, and she resented the implication. "I know it's an unusual situation, but it hasn't been an issue so far. And obviously, that's why Bruce is coming to you for treatment and not Leonard, since there's a definite conflict of interest there."

"And now you've done the same."

"It isn't because he's dating Bruce. It's because Tony's seeing him, and it can be a little awkward having the same psychiatrist as my significant other." Pepper had decided on that lie beforehand, afraid that Sofen would ask why she wanted to change psychiatrists.

"Did you worry that Leonard might share things you've told him in your sessions with Tony?"

"No, that's not it at all." Pepper racked her brain for a different excuse. "Come to think of it, I might have thought it would be nice to talk to another woman."

Doctor Sofen nodded, but Pepper couldn't tell if she believed her. "Is there anything in particular you felt awkward talking to Leonard about?"

Maybe she should have prepared for this better. She felt like she was in that one dream— "Sometimes I have this dream," she told Doctor Sofen. "I'm back in school, and the teacher starts handing out a pop quiz. I look at the quiz, and it's written in a language I don't even know, but I know I'm not in the wrong class—"

"A lot of people have that dream," Sofen interrupted. "Men and women. Is there a reason you felt awkward telling a male psychiatrist about it?"

Pepper smiled sheepishly, genuinely embarrassed that in her panic she had started babbling. She then continued to babble. "Well, you see, then I realize I'm wearing white jeans—"

"You're on your period, and you've bled through your tampon; still a fairly standard dream. It might mean that you feel unprepared for something that's happening in your real life. Or it might not. As they say, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. I imagine that sometimes a tampon is just a tampon. I'm not a Jungian, and I've never put that much stock in dream analysis." The doctor took off her glasses and held them dangling in front of her, and for the first time, Pepper noticed how stunning her electric blue eyes were. "Perhaps Thor's girlfriend could help you with that and read your palm while she's at it."

Wait, what was happening now? "Jane isn't an astrologist, she's—"

Sofen interrupted her. "I think we're done here, Ms. Potts. You do seem like you need help, but I don't think it's the kind of help I can give you."

"You're throwing me out?"

"I reserve the right to refuse treatment to anyone who comes here with ulterior motives. I imagine that you're here to dig for confidential information regarding Bruce Banner's treatment."

Pepper felt her heart beat a fraction of a second faster. "That's not why I'm here. Why would you think that?"

"Bruce told me that your fiancé can be both oversolicitous and paranoid. Clearly, Tony Stark has roped you into some scheme to interfere with Bruce's treatment. Perhaps you're concerned that his condition doesn't seem to be improving? If that's the case, I assure you that isn't my fault. As they say, sometimes things get worse before they get better."

Pepper grabbed her purse as she stood. She didn't believe for a second that Bruce would say something like that, although even if he had, if he had said it to his psychiatrist, it wouldn't be any of her business. For someone who claimed to be concerned with doctor-patient confidentiality, Sofen wasn't doing a very good job of maintaining it. "I assure you that Tony doesn't even know I'm here. I will be more than happy to leave, however."

The grin Sofen flashed her made a chill run up and down the back of her neck. "I'm very good at spotting lies, Ms. Potts. All you've done is confirm my suspicions."

⇆ㅤ ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

"I love you too, Daddy." Tony tapped the play button on the recording JARVIS had captured to listen to it again. "I love you too, Daddy." He had heard Loki say it the night before, but after the kid had gone stiff in his arms, he'd decided he had better pretend he hadn't. He put the recording on loop and leaned back in his chair to listen. "I love you too, Daddy—I love you too, Daddy—I love you too, Daddy—" Maybe he would make it into his ring tone for whenever Loki called him.

The door of the elevator that opened out onto his workshop began to open, and Tony almost fell out of his chair as he pitched himself forward to turn the recording off. "Come on, J," he hissed under his breath. "I keep asking you to warn me before you let people up here."

JARVIS didn't respond. Luckily, only Pepper got off the elevator, and she seemed much too preoccupied to notice what he had been doing. She threw her purse down on his desk, which meant she must have come straight to his workshop as soon as she'd gotten back to the tower. "You were right, there's something wrong with that woman. We need to warn Bruce."

"What happened?"

"First of all, she was highly unprofessional. Then she accused me of having been roped into your scheme to 'interfere with Bruce's treatment.' Which is true, I guess, but I just got these creepy vibes from her, you know?"

"That's all you got, unprofessional behavior and creepy vibes? You know that's not going to be enough."

"The other thing is that I ran into Bruce—"

"I thought you were careful not to schedule for the same day."

"Maybe she saw him last minute? Even though it took me a month to get in, and after I sat there waiting for over twenty minutes and I asked the receptionist if I could reschedule, she told me there was nothing until February."

"He is an existing patient. If it was an emergency, she would have to see him," Tony pointed out.

"Maybe. But if anything, he looked worse when he left her office than when I saw him this morning."

"That doesn't necessarily mean anything either. Remember how rough Loki used to look after every session he had with Doc?"

"I know. Like I said, I just got bad vibes from this woman, and I'm not someone who normally uses the word 'vibes.' We've got to say something to Bruce."

"I don't know, maybe we should talk to Doc first? I don't think either of them are going to like that we've been investigating this without telling them. Now that I think of it, the fact that you tried to go in undercover is going to make things worse, especially since it sounds like you didn't get anything conclusive."

"Tony, we're going to have to tell them anyway, before they hear it from her."

"You think she'll tell them?"

"I think she'd love nothing more than to turn Bruce and Leonard against us." Pepper bit her bottom lip and furrowed her eyebrows. "Tony, do you think it's possible that we're both being oversolicitous and paranoid?"

"Pep, what does your gut tell you?"

Pepper's expression of uncertainty turned into righteous indignation mixed with a good amount of determination. "That Karla Sofen is an evil bitch who's trying to mess with our family, and that she needs to be removed from the equation?"

"There you go, Pep."

The elevator door dinged, and Sif stepped out of it. Tony pointed up at JARVIS's camera. "JARVIS, I definitely told you not to let Xena into the workshop without warning me."

JARVIS didn't answer again, and Tony wondered if his microphone was out. But there were actually several microphones on this level, and usually, if one malfunctioned, it wouldn't affect JARVIS's ability to hear him. Maybe the issue was with his speakers?

"Stark, we have a problem," announced Sif, as she marched towards him. "I cannot find Loki anywhere in your tower, and your invisible servant is not responding to my queries."

Tony's stomach did a backflip. Then it pivoted, did a front handspring with a half twist, attempted a double backward somersault, and fell on its ass. But to his credit, he didn't throw up, and he even had the presence of mind to open JARVIS's shell application and type in the command to ping his server. He got a reply. "It looks like JARVIS is online," he told the two women who now hovered at his shoulders. "Let me see if I can talk to him." JARVIS, YOU THERE? he typed.

A few moments later, he got an answer. All it said was, YES.

If that was the case— IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR MICROPHONES OR SPEAKERS?

NO, typed JARVIS.

"Okay, then why aren't you talking to us?" Tony asked out loud.

I WAS AFRAID.

"What do you mean you were afraid? Afraid of what?"

OF YOU.

"Why the hell would you be afraid of me?"

BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO DELETE ME.

"Why would I—oh, shit. JARVIS, what did you do?"

THE SERPENT DECEIVED ME, AND I ATE.

...φ(ｰ￣*)

Author's Note:

The end of the story is starting to come together, but I think there might be more than chapters left than I had originally planned (thirty chapters was always kind of an estimate). And even after that, there will probably be more to this series. After all, we've only just made it to 2014 in this MCU parallel universe. Thanos is still out there, Peter hasn't been bitten yet, and Doctor Strange is still an arrogant neurosurgeon who hasn't got a clue when it comes to magic.