Chapter 18 – Desperate Measures

It was hot and humid. Leia sweat profusely under the heavy clothes which were designed to keep her warm in space. She was still gagged, blindfolded, and bound. Her wrists were chafing and her tongue was horribly dry.

"Captain Andor," a voice said. "You have some explaining to do."

The blindfold was torn from her face. Leia blinked her eyes into focus. She was in a dark room, a single, bright light shining directly at her. Seated beneath the light on a stool was a stern-faced man. He wore a tan bomber jacket with some sort of rank plaque on his breast. Leia did not recognize it, but she could reasonably assume that he was highly ranked, perhaps even a general. Cassian confirmed that for her.

"I can explain, General Draven." Leia turned her head to the left to see him, likewise bound but ungagged. Then she looked right to see Jyn and Galen.

"You are facing court martial and will likely be charged with treason against the Alliance," Draven said. "Do you have any idea the damage your little mission to Scarif caused?"

"I do," Cassian said.

"All forces on the planet were killed when the Death Star targeted the surface. Admiral Raddus' fleet was all but destroyed. There are dozens of survivors at most. The Rebellion is finished. You did this, Andor. And you, Erso," he said, shifting attention to Jyn. "I knew better than to trust you."

Jyn tried her best to reply, but the invective was incomprehensible on account of her gag.

"All this, and you have absolutely nothing to show for it. You failed to retrieve the Death Star plans."

"That is not true, General," Cassian said. "We have the plans."

Draven's cold eyes turned narrow. "Where?"

Cassian nodded his head to the left. "Galen Erso," he said. "We have the Death Star's architect."

"I know who he is," Draven barked.

"Then you know we don't need the plans!"

Draven considered. He glared at Cassian for a moment, then turned to Galen. He flicked a hand, and a Rebel soldier stepped forward to remove Galen's gag.

"I want to help you," Galen said at once. "I can tell you how to destroy –"

"I cannot trust you, Galen Erso," Draven interrupted. "You serve the Empire."

"I abhor the Empire!"

"For all I know, your intention could be to sabotage the Rebellion. Feed us false information so that we launch a suicide mission against the Death Star."

"But –"

"There is one way to make sure you tell the truth, however."

"You wouldn't," Cassian said. "Mothma would never condone –"

"The Rebellion is on its last legs," Draven said. "There is no more time for procedure or ethics."

"Torture is the Empire's tactic," Cassian said.

"Gag him," Draven ordered.

"Listen to me, Draven!" Cassian pleaded. "Listen to us! We're telling the truth! We're –" Two soldiers forced the gag back over Cassian's mouth, muffling him.

"Now," Draven said coolly. "You and I will talk, Galen Erso."

Galen's face was pale. He eyed the soldier at his side warily.

"Take the other three to separate cells," Draven ordered. "I will deal with them individually."

Leia struggled mightily against her restraints. Soldiers closed in to take her away, but she couldn't let them. She wouldn't let Galen be tortured. As she was being pulled up from her seat, Leia lashed out, elbowing the soldier on her left. Surprised, he doubled over, and Leia used his momentum to pull herself free from the other soldier's grasp.

"Stun her!" Draven said.

Yet she had already seen it coming. Before the blaster even fired, Leia was ducking out of the way. The blue ring missed her and instead struck the soldier behind her square in the chest.

"Stop!" Galen cried out. "Leia, stop!"

Leia hesitated, and in that moment, the guard she had elbowed regained his footing and rammed the butt of his blaster into her ribcage. She fell to the ground, utterly winded.

"Hold on," Draven said, hand raised. He stood. "Her name is Leia, you say?"

"Yes," Galen said.

"Appenza, is it?"

"Yes," Galen confirmed.

Draven gave Leia a long look. Then he gestured to the soldier. "Remove her gag."

The soldier did so roughly. Leia shot him a contemptuous look as she struggled to her feet.

"I have heard of you, Appenza," Draven said.

"From?" Leia asked.

"Biggs Darklighter."

Leia's heart skipped a beat.

"He's alive?"

"Indeed," Draven said.

"How? Where is he? I want to see him!"

"He told me a great deal about your skills as a pilot," Draven said without responding to any of her requests. "He said you would make a great asset to the Rebellion."

"I will and I am," Leia said.

Before Draven could so much as scoff, the cell door behind Leia opened with a loud creak. She twisted around to look. In walked Bail Organa. He looked tired. His face was haggard, deep creases running down his cheeks like fissures. His eyes, dark and weary, found Leia's. He looked at her for a moment before glancing at Draven.

"What is going on here, General?"

"Viceroy Organa," Draven said coolly. "I hardly think your presence is necessary –"

"You arrested my daughter, General," Bail said. "This matter concerns me."

Draven frowned. "Your daughter?" He gave Leia another look, and she could see sudden understanding on his face.

Bail scanned the room, from Cassian to Jyn to Galen–focusing for a particularly long while on the latter.

"What do they have to say for themselves?" he asked.

"We know how to destroy the Death Star," Leia said. "Galen will help us find the critical flaw in the design."

"Will he now?" Bail said skeptically.

"You have to believe us!" Leia pled. "Both of you," she added, as a perfunctory gesture to Draven. She knew Bail was her lifeline here. But convincing him might prove to be trickier than she thought. He was upset with her, understandably so. But this was more important! Surely he would see that.

"Father," she said.

Bail's face hardened.

"Don't try to manipulate me," he said. "I can't believe a word you say anymore. Not when you have so flagrantly violated my trust on countless occasions."

"This isn't about you," Leia said. It was harsh, but it was true. Surprise washed across Bail's face. "Nor is it about me," she continued. "This is about the survival of the Rebellion."

Bail was silent. He scrutinized her. Seemingly unable to detect any deceit, he turned to Draven, effectively granting him the floor.

"What exactly do you propose, Appenza?" the general solicited.

Leia considered. What was she proposing?

Obviously, she wanted Draven to listen to Galen and authorize an assault on the Death Star. But that wasn't going to happen. Grudgingly, Leia could understand why. The Rebel fleet had been eviscerated at Scarif. With so few forces remaining, it would be imprudent to deploy them on such a daring mission without every measure of confidence in the intel provided. Leia trusted Galen. Draven would not.

But maybe he didn't have to.

"Here's what I propose, General Draven," she said. "Send me to the Death Star."

"You?"

"Yes, me. And me alone."

Draven blinked twice. Then he laughed.

"Preposterous!" he said.

"No it isn't," Leia said, face heating.

"It's suicidal. You'll be killed instantly."

"What do you have to lose?" Leia countered.

"Darklighter told me you were good," Draven said. "He also told me you were cocky. But this? This is beyond that. This is hubris on a galactic scale. Do you honestly think you can take on the Death Star all by yourself?"

"Yes," Leia said at once. And the crazy thing was, she believed it. Perhaps Draven was right. Perhaps it was hubris. She'd never been short in confidence. But this confidence went beyond mere pride. This came from something far deeper.

"I have hope," Leia said. "I have hope, and I have faith. You might not, General Draven, but I do. That is what's going to save the Rebellion. That is what's going to save the Galaxy. Because that is all we ever have, really." She thought of Vader, in whom she had placed her trust. It made no sense. It was insane. But it was also right. She couldn't explain why. But she felt it. And now she felt that same conviction.

"Spare me the soliloquy," Draven said sourly.

"Will you let me go?" Leia asked.

Draven's jaw tightened. "We intercepted transmissions confirming that the Death Star remains in orbit around Scarif while the Empire assesses damage done to the planet. Afterward, the Death Star will likely leave the system."

"In other words, you soon won't know where it is," Leia said.

"I'd estimate the Death Star will leave Scarif within a standard day. Probably less."

"Then send me now. This could be your only opportunity."

"Opportunity might be overstating things," Draven muttered.

"Give me two hours to prepare," Leia requested.

"Absolutely not," Bail cut in. "I will not approve of this."

"This is my decision, Viceroy," Draven said. "Not yours."

"You cannot act unilaterally, General," Bail insisted. "The Council will not –"

"It is exactly this sort of rigid adherence to procedure which led to the dire situation in which we currently find ourselves," Draven said. "The Council does not need to be consulted on this matter."

"I say they do," Bail said.

Draven ignored him. "You can be ready to go in two hours?" he said, speaking to Leia.

"Yes, sir."

"I'll give you one."

"Fine, but you need to give me time to consult with Galen," Leia said.

"Very well," Draven conceded.

"And you also have to release Jyn and Cassian."

"I will do no such thing," Draven said.

"Yes, actually, you will," Bail interjected. "Senator Mothma requested to see them both."

"Of course she does," Draven ground out.

"Sounds like we have a deal," Leia said.

"Hardly," Bail said. "I cannot allow you to do this, Leia."

"Do you not believe in me?" Leia asked.

"It's not that," Bail insisted. "What you propose is impossible."

Leia shook her head in disappointment. "This is exactly why I left Alderaan in the first place," she said. "You and Mother were always so careful, so safe. It was suffocating."

"We protected you," Bail said.

"I don't want to be protected," Leia said. "I want to make a difference."

Bail's shoulders sagged. "You will make a difference," he said. "Someday."

"I'm not waiting anymore," Leia said. "I know I have the skills to help right now. You may not believe in me, but I don't care. I believe in myself. That's all that matters."

"So it would seem," Bail said dejectedly.

Δ Δ Δ

Leia ran her hand along the nose of the X-Wing fighter. It was sooty, with a slightly charred scent which Leia had come to associate with outer space.

"Well?" Draven said, agitation loud in his voice.

"I don't know," Leia said. "I've never flown an X-Wing before." The humility was for show, of course. Leia knew she could fly anything.

"It's better armed than the typical TIE," Draven said. "Four powerful KX9 laser cannons as opposed to the two which TIE fighters are equipped with."

"Double the fire power," Leia mused.

"Indeed," Draven said.

Leia shot him a look. "Doesn't mean much," she said, "when I'm outnumbered one thousand to one."

Draven's face became pinched at that comment. "Expressing doubts now, Appenza?"

"Hardly," Leia said. "The laser cannons are irrelevant, anyway. I don't expect to use them."

"Yes, I suppose it would be futile," Draven agreed.

Leia circled around the craft to get a better look at its body. "Talk to me about the proton torpedoes."

"I assume you've never had those in your arsenal before," Draven said.

"Correct."

"There's not much to know," Draven said. "They need to charge up before you fire, but you'll already have that taken care of when you make your approach."

"Certainly."

The proton torpedoes, after all, were the crucial weapon. Galen had told them that the only way to destroy the Death Star was to target a small thermal exhaust port some two meters wide. If the torpedoes sailed true, they would trigger a chain reaction, destroying the main reactor and, hopefully, the entire battle station. Draven was skeptical that the targeting computer would be accurate enough to make such a shot, especially if Leia was flying at breakneck speed, as she intended.

"Proton torpedoes are typically intended for large targets," Draven reminded her. Leia resisted the urge to roll her eyes. He'd only said so half a dozen times by now.

"They'll make do, General," she said. "There's no other way."

An inkling of doubt crept into the back of her conciseness. She trusted Galen, but she did wish he had managed to work in a bigger flaw which could be more easily targeted. Of course he had to be surreptitious lest somebody find out what he was doing, but still–this bordered on the impossible.

But that wasn't a problem for her. Leia had never been one to let the impossible stop her. On the contrary, whenever somebody told her something couldn't be done, she made it her mission to prove them wrong.

Speaking of which.

"Leia," Bail's voice called as he crossed the hangar. "A word, please."

Leia gave Draven a nod. "If this lasts longer than ninety seconds, I give you full permission to arrest him."

It was subtle, but Leia swore she could see a smile on the general's typically rigid lips. "I wish I could," he said before drifting away.

Bail came to a stop in front of her and, to her great annoyance, placed his hands on her shoulders. "You are too brave," he said. "Can't you be a coward like me?"

Leia refused to be charmed. "I have to do this."

"I know," Bail said. He looked at the X-Wing, sharp eyes scanning the fighter. "If you're going to succeed today, it won't be because of any weapon or technology." He returned his gaze to her, and, taking her hand, placed it over her chest. "It will be because of what's in here."

Leia felt her heart beating, and was struck with the sudden realization that, within the next few hours, it could very well cease.

"You were born with a great gift," Bail said. "I'm sorry I never let you use it properly. Now I wish I had. You're going to need it."

"I know how to use it," Leia said.

"No," Bail said. "You do not."

Leia began to rebut him, but Bail spoke over her.

"Remember what I said. If you truly wish to be powerful, you will go to Dagobah to train with Master Yoda."

Leia narrowed her eyes. "I am powerful," she said. "More than you could ever know."

"I know what a fully trained Jedi is capable of," Bail said. "I believe in you, Leia, but you are not prepared. The galaxy is dangerous for a person such as yourself."

"I know that," Leia said.

"Then go to Dagobah. Please, I beg you. This is the only way you will be safe."

"After this is done, maybe." She only said it to appease him. Leia wouldn't take instructions from anyone, least of all him.

Bail nodded solemnly. Tears brimmed in his eyes. "May the Force be with you, my daughter," he said. He hugged her, and in his arms she suddenly felt so very small, her frail heart beating against his chest, yearning to stay with him, where she would be safe, where she, at the very least, would be sure to survive another day.

She forced herself to pull away.

"Goodbye, Father," she said, her voice strained.

Bail looked her over for a long moment. "Goodbye, Leia," he said. And then he turned. And walked away.

Leia wiped her eyes. Her hands trembled. Angry at herself, she turned sharply toward the X-Wing. This was her world. From now on, nothing outside of this cockpit existed. She had one mission, and that was to destroy the Death Star.

It was nearly time.

But as she approached the ladder, another voice called her name. This one was familiar as well.

"Leia!"

She spun around. There he was, streaking across the hangar toward her.

"Biggs!"

She'd only just gotten his name out of her lips when he crashed into her, hugging her with all his strength, which, Leia's lungs unfortunately registered, was quite considerable.

"I can't believe it," Biggs said, finally pulling away and giving her a chance to breathe. "I can't believe it!"

Unable to speak, Leia could only smile back at him. The flurry of emotions was too much for her. Sheer happiness, of course, but also terrible remorse and bitter self-loathing.

"How've you been?" Biggs asked. "Did you make it to Tatooine? You must've, look at you! You've got a bit of a tan."

"No I don't," Leia said, chuckling in spite of the pang she felt in her stomach at the mention of Tatooine. It made her think of Luke, someone else she'd left behind. "Biggs," she said. "I'm so sorry."

"What for?"

"I left you. I left all of you. I was so selfish –"

"Hey," Biggs said sternly. "You did what you had to do. And we did what we had to do. You were our leader, Leia."

"What sort of a leader abandons her friends?"

Biggs shook his head. "You can't think that way," he insisted. "It worked out in the end, didn't it?"

"Did it?" Leia asked.

"We're both here, aren't we?"

Leia nodded grudgingly. "I guess," she said. "Is Val here?"

Biggs' face fell.

"Biggs?" she pushed. "Where's Val?"

"I'm sorry. She didn't make it."

It was as if he had punched her in the gut. She gasped and, unable to look at Biggs, turned around.

"It's not your fault."

She looked at the X-Wing, the cockpit, the proton torpedoes.

"She died for you, just like I would have," Biggs said. "We dedicated our lives to you."

Rather than reassuring her, Biggs' words only made her angry.

"Then you're fools," she snapped.

"We knew you were the galaxy's best hope," Biggs said. "And today you're going to prove it."

Despair overwhelmed her. "I'm going to die, Biggs," she said. "I can't do this."

"Not alone you can't."

She turned around. "What are you saying?"

"I've got five pilots, myself included," Biggs said, lowering his voice. "It's the best I could muster."

"But Draven said –"

"I don't give a damn what Draven thinks," Biggs said. "What's a court martial compared to the end of the galaxy as we know it?"

He made a good point. But Leia shook her head.

"I can't let you," she said. "I won't let someone else die trying to protect me."

"This isn't for you, Leia," Biggs said. "This is for something far bigger."

Behind Biggs, she could see Draven returning. By his side, to Leia's surprise, was Jyn. Under her arm was a fighter helmet.

"I won't let you do this," Leia said in a hushed tone.

"Too bad you can't stop me," Biggs countered.

He hurried away just as Draven came into earshot.

"Well?" Draven said, stopping in front of her. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, sir," Leia said, watching Biggs depart. Her stomach felt very tight.

"Here," Jyn said, touching her arm gently. Leia's attention snapped back. "Your helmet."

Leia looked at it. She nodded. "Thank you," she said stiffly.

"Good luck," Jyn said.

Leia met her eyes. In the few days that they had known each other, Leia had come to find great comfort in Jyn's presence. She instilled confidence and exuded compassion.

She reminded her so much of Val.

Leia leaned forward.

What, exactly, was she doing? Leia had no answers. It was impossibly brazen. Taking on the Death Star all by her lonesome was nothing compared to this. And yet here she was, lips pressed to Jyn's, noses rather awkwardly mashed together. Leia had never kissed anyone before, and when Jyn pulled away, rather abruptly, Leia still wasn't entirely sure she could say that she had.

It was, at the very least, adjacent to a kiss.

"I'm so sorry," Leia said. "I didn't mean to… I don't know why –"

"Don't apologize," Jyn said, blinking away her surprise. "Just… take this." She shoved the helmet into Leia's hands. "You should, um… you should get going."

Leia looked beyond Jyn to Draven who, unsurprisingly, seemed extremely uncomfortable. Perhaps even more uncomfortable than Leia felt, if that was even possible.

"Yeah, yeah I should," Leia said. She quickly stuffed the helmet over her head. The tinted visor would help conceal her burning cheeks.

"Good," Draven said. He practically fled. Leia wished she could do the same.

"Sorry," Leia said again, with the air of a scolded child.

"Shut up," Jyn said. "Focus on the task at hand, all right?"

Leia nodded readily. Jyn smiled.

"I believe in you, Leia," she said. "Do you believe in yourself?"

An hour ago, she wouldn't have hesitated. But now, frankly, she was a mess. The weight of the galaxy lay on her shoulders. The fates of Val, of Biggs, of Luke, of Jyn–they were at her feet.

She had already let so many people down. Her innate confidence was diluted by fear, regret, confusion, and most of all, guilt.

But she couldn't let Jyn know that.

"I will succeed," she said. "I have no other choice."