Santa's Diary 12.25.21 (continued)
I've been quite busy keeping an eye on all these naughty children!...
...with lots of hidden cameras of course! Now that I've got all those damnably lazy elfs to pass out my hidden cameras filled Christmas Presents to all the girls and boys on the plane I can keep my holly jolly eyes on them full time!
And watching these all these kids constantly sure is hard work so it burns my ass when these elfs get lazy on me!
A couple elfs have started loafing about, reverting to their usual indigent behavior, lucky for them the more evolved races can help to impose upon them a semblance of order and civilization. I came upon one surly layabout wide eyed, trying to just zone out listening to that awful racket of Spiders' new Theremin thats been nonstop playing. A quick hand to back of her mouth got this elfs attention and all the rest'm and now they enjoy the music while being productive. A gentle prod in the right direxion always does the trick! Though I dare say that one elf would have trouble chewing had she any food to chew, this plane ride has drag'd on an awful long time now, even if it is Christmas...
This lazy elfs just want to slouch around, listening to music and huffing gasoline. Several have died of gasoline overdose but still they persist, if an elf keels over mid sniff then the nearest elf will scramble over his corpse to lap shamelessly at the newly free'd bowl of gasoline that plane elfs hold so dear.
Yes it is true I have found that House Elfs, and especially Plane Elfs are 'lazy' and 'wilfully ignorant' and it doesn't help that all the elfs that elfs themselves venerate are mercurial sociopaths who encourage the active destruction of elf communities and outright murder of other elfs for short term profit. They do harmonize appealingly with one another as they go about their tasks, when they can be sufficiently roused but anyways, I've been all day keeping a watch on all the passengers aboard this plane, the miscellaneous students of Hogwarts WitchcTraft and Wizardry...
Ron and Padma
and
Draco and 'the snake' sway
sway and dance romantically to the music Spiders produces with her new Theremin as Spiders and Neville give the Chumbawumbas version of the Beatles rooftop concert, except this time no one got raped.
Luna
seems to be busy jotting down notes, supposedly for her on-flight daily magazine, the Return to Hogwarts Daily. Surely some incisive new interview or political thinkpiece must be the cause behind her fervent passions. Hopefully she doesn't end up like Spiders and Neville and grow obsessed...
Spiders, Neville
have spent the past several hours nonstop playing that cursed Theremin!*
More and more passengers have gathered round to hear Spiders who plays with Nevilles accompaniment on improvised drums made out of elf skeletal assortment of skulls and femurs and tibula and pevils and narrow snapped off elf-ribs as drum-sticks. The crowd sways and stares at the visible radiation surging from the deadly prongs of Spiders' new Theremin.
Sleek otherworldy tones of the worlds first synthesizer**drift about over their heads in a malodorous brume, all my spare reserves of Christmas Spirit are eradicated wherever the sonic death touch of the Theremin reaches with its grasping crooning voice.
There is a distant look in Spiders' eyes lately, and all the Hermiones are usually so spirited, speaking of it's about time that Hermione Roll Call from Chapter 83 is finished up since it lines up nicely with this Diary Entry so while I'm thinking about it
Hermione Lion Heart; The Time Child; so far has avoided the sonic grasp of the Theremin and is busy arguing with Mecha Granger 2030 who does note appear to have ears, at least on her sleak mechanical form there is no protrusion or cleft which would indicate such; it is possible her internal matrix clocks scans the gravitational fields for minute fluxuations that would indicate sounds, tone and demeanor... but anyway she doesn't seem affected by the Theremin either...yet...
Saturnalia- who received her present earlier this afternoon when the plane was passing over Hogsmeade where she is waiting for the plane to land*** and I was just able to wrap an elfs knobbly underfed arms around her neatly wrapped shiny present and knock him out one of the busted out windows just in time as we passed overhead so that he splattered right across from her, his soft frail body saving the present from any harm of impact. The gaily wrapped and be-bowed box bounced over to Saturnalias bare feet and since she scooped it up I've had a birds eye view of her doings.
I'd been hoping that since she was the one Hermione not on the plane aside from Giga Granger who is still just walking behind the plane that she would have escaped the deadly clutch of Spider's new damnable instrument. But alas; Saturnalia spends all day now with her headphones in, whether she's panhandling for enough change for another round of Golden Coral Nachos and Mac and Cheese and Gummybears or even masturbating behind the dumpster in the Golden Coral parking lot all day long she listens to the hypnotic, deadly sound of Spiders' new Theremin. Damn her, and Damn whoever construct'd this foul device she plays!****
Kraug- Lies abed, still paralyzed :(
I can only assume that since all the other kids are doing it Kraug would also be listening to Spiders' cultish new music however she is too paralyzed to lift a pair of headphones into her uncleaned ears and is likely to paralyzed to enjoy such undeniably rousing music***** even if she could! Poor beast... In my day when an old mare grew lame we knew what to do with her! I'm sure the house elfs of Hogwart school of Witchraft and Wizardry could use the extra meal(if they're anything like these pitifully scrawny and put upon plane elfs that is)
() Luna's Note ()
*lol, ironic that Santa comes very close here to guessing the Theremins true name, Trinarktikon thrice curse'd. His diary makes clear that he's aware of the malefic instruments nefarious miasma and yet he doesn't seem to grasp yet the crystalized evil core of malignancy that is the Minotaur curse of Rancor6 the hell planet(from whence this damn'd instrument originates) has its baleful lazerscope pointed squarely upon his unseeing brow...
**Theremin were first built in ... and is technically the first synthesizer but actually the Atlanteans and Hyperboreans had electronic instruments far before the Theremin was first built.
***yeah,waiting for the plane to finally land or for Nibiru to crashland, whichever happens first. Santa, for once, prolly since it's not directly involving the Theremin, seems to be prety optimistic here; while there's no sign the plane will land anytime soon the signs that Nibirus approach is culminating in a devastating climax are growing too glaring to miss! Again Santa is blinded by his own obsession; ironic how after installing so many false eyes in the form of his Orwellian cameras his own eyes seem so clouded about minor, trivial and ultimately tangential manners!
**** again Santa comes close but No Cigar to naming his dreadful adversary, Jehoba, but his attention is ultimately fruitlessly wrapped up in cataloguing the Trinarktikons ascension without actually halting it in anyway. Seems the only thing that can take his attention away from Spiders' new Theremin is his perfectly understandable frustrations with house elfs. Having to share a plane with a house elf, or plane elf or whatever they want to be called these days, is truly frustrating and despite myself I find myself sympathetic to his views and can only imagine his great meaty hand across a stupid stricken elfish face and thank the mighty THor that i found this diary and can at least imagine it since I wasn't there to witness such glory.
As it stands I can barely keep the eerie and otherworldly tones of Spierders new Theremin out of my head and I find my foot tapping along unbidden...
I've got a few ideas for the REturn to Hogwart Daily for the next few days, aside from a couple interviews trying to find a new bestie who isn't going to lie about her girls penis to me (See chapters 78 etc) I need to slip, roofy-like, a couple of at least dog-wistles if not full blown polemics against this darn Theremin that has everyone so worked up!
-Luan