Some not-so-"pure" unadulterated silliness from one of the writers who brought you "Strange Genitals" on Fanfic Anonymous. Check out the other entries for more laffs! It all started with the song "Detachable P3nis" by King Missile and several writers under the influence of "what-if," Spock-induced, goofy hormonal madness in the writing vein. Have fun and stay classy : D

She has never made him feel alien, or strange, and he does not need comfort, and does not seek it, and therefore does not assign such a word to the way she kisses him when she enters his apartment, her hand wrapped around the back of his neck, or the sound of his native language when she speaks it. Companion piece to Transmutations.

Pavel Chekov, a foot soldier for the Ninth Platoon, hates the merciless battlefield. When he is suddenly approached by the infamous marine Captain, Hikaru Sulu, what will his reaction be. And what did the famous captain come for? Read and find out! AU Slash story. Sulu x Chekov (

Un minuto antes, el Enterprise caía y su tripulación estaba condenada a una muerte inminente. De pronto, la nave recuperó el control. La tripulación estaba salvada. Pero, ¿a qué precio? [contiene grandes spoilers de Into Darkness]

A basic hot-under-the-collar one shot about a hot Khan, his capture, and a girl he once knew. It's all pretty much smut for the sake of a short story and smut. May become part of a Smut series, R/R please

Spock is six years old when he meets Kirk on Christmas in a grocery store. Their unrestrained personalities clash, innocent produce is damaged and unknown to either of them, they have become bonded, with only a touch and never knowing the other's name.

Hyposprays aside, the thought of having to visit a doctor- Doctor McCoy- made Spock's stomach turn. Unfortunately, if he didn't make the conscious decision himself, Captain Kirk would probably order him there, anyway. The outcomes, either way, Spock rationalised, were simply not desirable. Spock!sick!fic.

Lt. Mariella Ryant is a junior security officer onboard the Enterprise. Despite being on the best ship in the fleet, her life is a living hell due to having to work under her abusive ex, Hendorff. Not to mention her crush on the off-limits, unavailable first officer. . . Can Mariella overcome these obstacles and be the brilliant Starfleet officer she is destined to be?

What happens when a system goes down on the Enterprise and no one knows how to fix it? Why no call Starfleet Central Directive? For any normal crew, this would be totally logical, but with the Enterprise nothing ever goes as planned! Rated T for some mild language. One-shot collection.

Khan had known her since they were children. She was his one true love, throughout his whole life. What will he do when he realizes her pod is missing? Worse, what will he do when he sees her on the Enterprise just as he's taken prisoner? Can he follow his plan? Based on an RP. Please read and review :) Shout out to my RP buddy and bestie Jenna, who is the model for Khan's love.

Due to forces beyond his control, Prince James Tiberius Kirk cannot follow the family tradition (and his dream) of entering the military forces and serving Earth by facing down enemies in space. So he does the next best thing: facing a Vulcan down the wedding aisle. But his husband-to-be is not what Jim expected.

In that moment, Jim realized his fate would be the same as his father's... "T-minus 8 seconds to self-destruction."

Winona tries to be a good mother, but can't stand the site of her son.

In a universe where jazz music and touching butts is against the rules, one not-person is willing to boldly go where no one has gone before.

Even Starfleet officers have ten-year reunions. Gaila/Uhura

Nero ist besiegt, die Erde gerettet. Und auf Jim und Spock warten neue Abenteuer, denen sie sich Seite an Seite stellen müssen. Was wird die beiden so unterschiedlichen Männer erwarten? Eine epische Freundschaft? Oder hat das Schicksal etwas anderes für sie vorgesehen? - slow building Spirk, K/S.

Amanda's studying session with a boy in her class doesn't exactly go as planned.

AU: Set before the five-year mission in STID. Bones was going through emotional roller coaster. His daughter, Joanna was put through an ordeal similar to the infamous Tarsus IV. Bones had to help young Joanna to come to terms with what she had went through while working on a mission to only realise that his best friend was involved had been through worse. COMPLETED.

Pavel Chekov had always worn long sleeves, just like he had always drawn lines on the inside of his arms with his pointer fingers. Always had, always would, was the assumption that everyone had made. Until the truth turns out to be something more sinister. Warning: contains cutting.

Captain Kirk is on a rescue mission to save some crew mates that have become Klingon hostages. A select few of his crew and some specialists embark on a mission that could cost some friendships, and maybe some lives.

Kirk repairs the Enterprise's warp core, but at what cost? Beta by: K8DGR81

Selected to represent Earth in the First Annual Intergalactic United Federation of Planets Space Race, Spock, Kirk and Uhura soon realize they have bigger problems than just winning the race. Not everyone wants to play fair.

"What the hell happened to you?" McCoy slowly stood from the desk, watching Jim walk toward him with a slight limp to his gait. He suppressed a curse. "I just left you two hours ago." What happened after Kirk returned from Kronos? An interlude between Kirk and McCoy.

He couldn't trust his eyes. Couldn't trust anything. Not even himself. Movieverse and shameless erotic situations. You have been warned.

You've been working with Doctor Leonard McCoy, "Bones", as his assistant but what happens when the two of you discover feelings for eachother? Please R&R!