Chapter 14

Bella POV

I woke up, still exhausted from my earlier bout of emotion, Harry was worried, I could see why I didn't fault him for that. You're pushing him away. So what? If it protects him from me then so what? It's going to hurt if you lose him like that. I would rather be hurt by pushing him away than he gets killed because of me! Whatever, I don't get paid enough for this shit! You're going bonkers! You're not getting paid! That's the point! Shut up! I can't Izzy, you're doing this to yourself! Don't call me that. What would you like to be called? Nothing! I want you to go away! No can do, so, we've got Isabella, Bella, Isa, Bells, Bee, Bell- SHUT UP!

I heard muffled voices coming from downstairs, if I could hear them from here that means someone's yelling, or at least is about to be. I made my way down the stairs as fast but as quietly as possible.

"-e'd kill you herself!" Hermionie? Who was she yelling at? You. I wasn't even down here you dipshit. It was worth a shot.

"But that's what you're saying isn't it!" Wow, my brother, you'd expect Mionie's yelling to be for Ron but apparently not. It's about you. No, it's n-

"That she left and got happy and now she's been forced to come back to help save my arse and she's depressed as all hell because she'd rather be with her new little family, going to Ilvermorny, and getting turned into a vampire alongside that stupid boyfriend of hers!"

Oh, it was about me. Told you so. I was in eyeline now at least from where Ron was sitting, we made eye contact and he gave a heartbroken look. He feels bad for you. Well of course, with how Harry's talking, he has siblings, he gets it. So we agree for once? Yes.

Throughout me getting lost in my head Ron had attempted to get Harry's attention, most likely to tell him to shut his bloody trap, lest he gets in more trouble with me. But… Well, my brother being my brother- Ignored him? Ignored him. Well, at least we're agreeing on some things today. True.

"Who's apparently more important than me, the only blood she has left that still loves her! Who is more important than you two, and all of her friends, and Luna, and Hogwarts, and winning the bloody war, and killing the man who killed our parents!"

Every one of his words stabbed into me like a knife. He didn't matter more than Luna, rarely anything did. But maybe he should. Look at that we're agreeing again. Should you really care about your EX this much? Especially when you're in love with someone else? I can't have this argument with you again right now. Right now I needed to be focused on the things my brother was saying. Hurtful things. I know.

This was painful, but I'd dealt with worse. Hearing these things before would have killed me. But this is after, after him. That was my life now, before and after. Before was what I thought was bad, I thought it was worse as it would ever get. But after, after Forks, after Dumbledore, after Charlie, after I left, after my new family, after him (Edward the voice said), it's so much worse. After you've had that, you can't just let it go. Most people can, you're just pathetic.

"Harry!" Hermionie tried this time for his attention but once again she was ignored. Well of course. Should it be scary or reassuring that the voice knows my brother as well as I do? How should I know?

"How is it even possible for her to be that upset over someone she's known for a few months?"

Because it felt like years.

"How is he more important than this, stopping the monster that has hurt everyone for so long?"

He's not, never will be, nothing is, but them together in those ways is plenty enough to draw my attention. Temporarily at least. Yes, of course, keep telling yourself it's temporary.

"I mean could she be any more selfish!"

No. Wow, we agree on something else.

"I mean can't she just get over it and help us?"

I wish, Haz. I gritted my teeth as I listened to him go on. That's bad for your enamel. Shut the hell up!

"I love Ginny, easily as much as she loves Edwin,"

A small part of me was grateful that he didn't say the name.

(Edward. Edward. Edward. EDWARD. Luna. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Lu-)

"But I'm pushing it aside so that we can end this once and for all, I'm not so depressed over it that I can't even say her name, I-"

"Harry." I finally said, my voice an odd mixture of hurt and venom. You have no right to be upset. Everything he said was true. You don't think I know that? No, I know you do, it just annoys you when I point things out that you know but don't want to know. You just said "know" way too many times, I'm a little confused. I know. I hate you. I know. I give up. I know.

(Edward. Luna. Know. Edward. Luna. Know. Edward. Luna. Know. Edward. Luna. Know. Edward. Luna. Know. Edward. Luna. Kn-)

"Bloody hell…" I heard him whisper under his breath as he froze in place.

Alice POV

What? What did it mean, they can't go back to Hogwarts? Why can't they get back to school? I looked around, my gaze particularly longing on Edward. I was worried about him, I knew all of the things that have happened to Bella are getting to him. Given the fact that when she left us, she was 16 (almost 17), and she's only 12 here, I know we have a lot to go. It would be hard on my brother, watching the girl he loves go through these things, but he needs to see them, I know I would if it was Jasper. Seeing her in pain made us all wince, if not worse, I don't understand how all of these things could have happened to her and she's still such an amazing person.

I knew Rose felt bad for how she treated her before, it was plain on her face, even without Edwards's gift. I had a distinct feeling I might be sharing my best friend once I got her back.

Bella would have to show me around the wizarding world, granted their fashion was dreadful, with those long robes, there was no shape at all! But if anyone could make it work, it was me. I would wear just about anything, if I had to, in order to see Bella's home, meet her friends, her brother.

That was yet another thing, it was so weird, feeling like I knew these people, from Bella's memories, without ever having met them. The look me and Edward shared when that thought crossed my mind led me to believe he felt the same. We had briefly spoken to Ron and Hermionie, just basic introductions and all that, but to now know all I did about them is crazy. I had never even seen Harry in person, but I had all but memorized the precise green of his eyes. We knew, from the first year, that Harry looked just like his father, but with his mother's eyes, Bella was an inverted version, her mother's looks, her father's deep brown eyes. So many people had made comments about the two, and from the memory, we saw earlier, even their potions professor knew the twins' parents.

I was drawn away from my thoughts by Harry's voice in the memory.

"What- We've got to go back, our second year starts on the first of September. It's all that's keeping us- well me at least- going. You don't know what it's like for us here. We don't belong here. I- We belong in the wizarding world, with people like us, at Hogwarts! The Dursleys hate magic! They hate us, we can't stay here, we'll go insane!"

"Really Dobby, why can't we go back? What is so terrible at school? I bet it's no worse than here!" Bella said after her brother.

"No, no, no, you must stay where you are safe, Harry Potter must stay here! If you go back to Hogwarts School you will both be in most mortal danger!"

"Well, she can't go back then!" Edward growled.

"You'd rather they stay there! With those terrible people?" Rose asked incredulously.

"Ye- No- I- She can't go to school if it's going to put her in danger!" Edward responded.

"Why?" Harry asked.

Bella POV

*Flashback*

"Izzy come on!"

"Lu, someone is going to catch us!"

"No, they're not, you stole that cool arse map from your brother, and where we're going no one will ever find us!"

"What the hell do you mean Lunes?"

"Close your eyes, hand me that map of yours, and close your eyes!"

I did as I was told, squeezing shut my eyes and letting her soft hands lead me.

"Oh!" I stumbled, falling forward slightly, catching myself on the wall. As I finally cracked my eyes open I realized that I had trapped the blond. My arms settled on either side of her, her back pressed against the wall, she was gazing up at me through her eyelids.

"Hi," I said to her.

"Hi," She responded.

We broke into quite giggles at the situation, as they faded away we both seemed to take notice at just how close we were.

We made eye contact once again, our gaze flickering South several times before I bent and kissed her softly. As we pulled away she took my hand and asked me to once again close my eyes, I did as I was told and we started moving once again, more carefully this time as to avoid any repeated mishaps.

She came to halt steadily, "Stand here, wait." She told me, I heard her footsteps walk away from a by a few steps, and then she seemingly paced a few times- three, three times, the Room of Requirement! The Room of Requirement? Why are we h-

"You can open your eyes now, and hurry!" She whispered. Already walking toward the door. I followed her in without complaint.

When I got inside it was done up like a small common room, abet much more 'Luna-like', and there was the addition of a larger table and chairs with a few small dishes atop it.

"Luna, what are we doing here?" I asked as the door closed behind us.

"I thought it would be nice if it was just us for a while," she said sheepishly, "you can relax, not think about anything else, at least for just a little while." She smiled.

I thought it over for a moment and then "That sounds wonderful Lunes,"

"Well that's great, I went down to the kitchens and had the house elves help me with a few things," She reached down into the bag at her side, I haven't even noticed the accessory till now, and pulled out a variety of sweets, biscuits, pastries, jam, even a small container of ice cream, and-

"Oh my Merlin, are those-?"

"Yeah, you said they were your favorite so.."

"Yeah, they are!" I said reaching down for a chocolate-covered strawberry. As I bit into it a small amount of juice made its way down my chin. The sight amused Luna, sending her into yet another set of giggles, I followed soon after, her laugh was so infectious.

After getting a small plate of the sweets we retired over to the cushions and blankets piled in one of the corners. We both laid down, sitting in comfortable silence, that was one of my favorite things about Luna, I never felt as though I had to talk, fill the silence with plans or worry or jokes. I was looking in her eyes and she was staring back.

"I love you,"

Oh.

I mean, she wasn't alone in the sentiment, I had mirrored her feelings since I thought it was much too early to feel that way. But I wasn't sure if I could say it out loud. I knew what love felt like, I knew I loved Ron and Hermione and Sirius, and of course, I loved my brother. Though Harry had been the only person I had ever said it to.

I remembered the first time I had ever said the word. I was 3 when Dudley asked Aunt Petunia what the phrase meant. She told him that it means "When you care for someone, when you'd protect them if you had to, that feeling you have inside, the warm one that makes you happy", now I'm surprised the statement came from her, but she did love her son, even if that's all that could be said for her. I also knew now that love can have an entirely different definition, it doesn't always make you happy, in fact, for most people it hurts quite a bit, but I guess that was a good way to explain it to a child.

I had immediately gone to Harry with my new wealth of information, excited to share my discovery with my brother, and explained to him what our aunt had said, then told him I loved him for the very first time. He said it back to me, and we had said it repeatedly to each other in the days, weeks, years to come. I had also told my parents I loved them, silently, every night before I went to sleep from that day on, a tradition so ingrained by now that it automatically came as my last truly coherent thought of the night. It gave us a sense of purpose at the Dursleys. From that day on we knew our days would consist of staying quiet, keeping out of the way, and making sure the other knew just how much we cared, well at least until our uncle and aunt decided we were old enough to fill our days up with chores that never seemed to be perfect enough for their liking.

"You don't have to say it back, I know you care, your actions show you care, and I know you aren't all that great at expressing your feelings, with words at least."

Oh how well she knew me. I wanted to say it back, I really did, the phrase had brought me and my brother such comfort, but I knew how much pain love could bring. I loved Hermionie and such pain and panic it brought me when I found her petrified on the floor of the library. My parents' love for their children brought on their death. Remus loved Sirius (no matter how hard they both tried to deny it) and the anger he carried for years when he thought the man a traitor. Cho loved Cedric, and now he's dead, she's heartbroken, and my brother is carrying a flame for a girl who most likely won't love again until she is at least out of school. My mother loved her sister, and look where they are now. As much as I wanted to tell her just how much I cared, what if it backfired on me like it had everyone else I knew?

"I can't say it, not now. But I do, you know that right?"

"I do, and that's okay."

"It's your mind, it's amazing, you believe in so many wonderful things, with everything in you, and no matter what anyone tells you."

"What are you doing?" She questioned.

"I can't say it, so I'm telling you all the reasons I do,"

"Can I play?"

"We'll take turns,"

"I love your smile,"

"My smile?"

"Sometimes, I'll be sitting in class and I'll look up at the clock and think just twenty more minutes and I'll get to see that smile." She said, her own gorgeous smile plastered on her face. "That smile, it wakes me up in the morning, I can be so tired the whole way down to breakfast, and as soon as I see you waiting for me in the hall, looking at me like you do with that 100 galleon smile on your face and I feel like I've slept 10 nights in one."

"Lu…"

"Your turn!"

And so we did, back and forth, all the things we loved about each other.

"I don't know how you do it Bells," she said after we finished and we were sitting in relative silence.

"How do I do what?"

"Pretend you're okay,"

Oh Lu.

"I'm not pretending,"

Deny, deny, deny.

"Yes you are, every single day. And it breaks my heart."

After that we both sat, pondering that, I turned to her and asked.

"Can we just stay like this for a little while, it's nice."

"Of course," she told me, "Whatever you need."

A 'little while' turned into all night when we both fell asleep.

Chapter 14!

I don't like this chapter all that much, I mean, I like the scenes separately but altogether it feels like they're missing something but I'll deal with that later.

So idk if you noticed but at the beginning of Alice's POV, there was a very (very) slight AVPM reference. (btw if you haven't seen A Very Potter Musical, it's amazing, Draco is my all-time fav in those plays, and the who thing is on youtube)

Oh and I like just now realized that the underlining wasn't holding when I make the documents in so 1) the key in the A/N of chapter 13 is probably really confusing and 2) I'm probably gonna go back in soon and fix all that kind of stuff so chapters might be under editing soon for that.

I have a few more extra scenes that I'm currently writing that will probably just be added to the extra scenes chapter that's already there (The 12 chapter).

As always,

If you have any questions or suggestions please review, they make me very happy to read thank you for reading!

P.S. I do not support J.K. Rowling or her transphobic views. If you do, I would kindly ask you to leave my page and any of my stories. And if you don't leave on that first warning then I am now going to SCREAM at you to leave! Should have taken the kind shooing shouldn't you? (Sorry if that was mean, but hey so are you so we're even)